ba wise, but a businessman was needed, but this is such an ambiguous figure, sobolevsky was known as a friend of pushkin, he knew him through his brother lev, with whom he studied at a noble boarding school in st. petersburg, there was even such an opinion after, so to speak, when pushkin was gone, that if sobalevsky had been there, then there would have been no duels, he would have stopped all this, but saying does not mean doing, let's say so, yes, sobolevsky served in the morkovskiy archive in khokhlova lane, this house, by the way, so ...

glorified sovalevsky too, well, as in general the whole color of that world. countess rostopchina, yudaki petrovna, she remarkably tested, an unknown author of well -known epigrams, so, i also looked at these epigrams, that is, i was considered an astro-wise woman of the word, in fact , a monstrous vulgarian, so, but in the male circle it is sometimes even fashionable and welcomed, but one way or another, regardless of all the talents of sobolevsky, who attracted the magazine to the publication of the magazine. nevertheless , it closed in the thirtieth year, but by this time venevitinov had already moved to petersburg. the fact is that dmitry venevitinov, of course, was in a hurry to leave moscow, and his friends believed that he was running away from love, from his tragic love that did not leave him, his emotional experiences, passions that burned in his soul like a fire, in his letters he leaves, i left moscow. like a madman,

i don’t know how i didn’t go crazy. well, here it should be noted that when dmitry was leaving, of course, he was equipped with a large luggage. and zenaida volkonskaya, and alexander pushkin and his other friends lyubomudry came to see dmitry off into adulthood, let’s say, independent life. and the princess asked him to take karl with him. ekaterina trubetskaya to her husband in siberia, but he caught a cold, did not get there, was forced to return, and she continued her journey on her own, so dmitry had no choice but to give consent, they set off together, but before entering the city, at the outpost, the carriage was stopped, at that time ... it was very serious, everyone

entering the northern capital was checked, after the december uprising, and in the ear he was detained, arrested, they say that they were in one, as would be in a carriage with dmitry venevitinov, and he was also arrested, of course, it was a big test for the young poet, that's how he met him.

his career, his successful activities to influence the form of government in russia, unlike the decembrists, who sought to simply overthrow the monarchy and ... this was all dmitry, he was all in the future, he made plans, he was in a hurry to live, he really dreamed of giving all his knowledge to serving the fatherland, and he wrote in his articles that we are young, european educated, russian people who are on a par with the century in their education, but they should do something good, live and do nothing is simply impossible.

i am here among the cold, empty soulless society and alone, i would rather get from here to moscow to you, and here we understand that of course to you, to friends, but still this again returns to that love that remained so unanswered, that is, again he in all

this, yes, indeed, in this falls into melancholy and depression, he did not find a place for himself, it seemed to him that here among the cold light ... he is alone in the opinion of his friend, fyodor khomyakov, with whom they lived at the lonskys, rented a wing, he had changed completely internally, and in his own melancholic way, even externally he had changed his appearance, his hair had grown, it had become dark, he tells his sister sonechka about this, he had grown a moustache and a beard, he looked like a completely different person, but nevertheless he attended receptions, balls, once the lanskys gave a ball at their house, and the heated poet ran to his wing, without even throwing shenily over his shoulders, he fell ill with a fever, he fell ill,

seriously ill, and as fyodor khomyakov says, he dreamed of poetry all the time, he either muttered them or wrote constantly wrote his poetry. and it seemed that in 24 hours of the day he did not have a free minute, he kept his diary all the time, he composed and hurried to write, thus he hurried to live, but he had very little time left to live, and here again we recall that story, that legend, that prophecy about the ring, to which we return again in it, when dmitry became completely ill. he bequeathed in his poetic message to the ring to his friends, and so that my ring would not be removed from your cold hand, so that even the grave would not separate us, the oath will not be fruitless, so it all happened, when dmitry left he fell unconscious, then

alexey khomyakov, who was hurrying to the poet, took off the ring from the watch chain. so to speak, he lamented how you allowed him to die, because he always treated venevitinov warmly, the book zenoida wrote a death message, in the twenty-eighth year she left russia, she went to rome, lived in vila, there we had a lot of her visiting our russian, so to speak, friends, gogol,

zhukovsky pogodin, the bryullov brothers, she created such an alley of friends from monuments. the first monument was to alexander i beloved, then there was the first monument to pushkin in the thirty-seventh year, when he was gone, and there was a monument to venevitinov, they say that now in this place. the british embassy and you can't get there, and the alley of friends is lost and does not exist, it cannot be said that the poet's short life was full of pessimism, he himself said, we never knew how to be naughty with decency, to play pranks with intelligence, but the end of his life was truly tragic, this faithful talisman, perhaps played his hand...

brushes, she ran along the streets of rome and gave money to the poor, one day in the pouring rain in levene she took off her cloak and gave it to a poor man, caught a cold and died practically from the same disease as the young poet. you know, the love story in this book excites the hearts of people. and will continue to excite for many, many years, but i

think that she still crossed the line that should not have been crossed, and one of venevitinov's friends will respond to her like this, she was looking for fresh in him young man, she is small, who knows, but we know that true friends, at 40 years old... gathered on the day of his death, served a memorial service, one device was always empty, actually, they also cobbled together this great legend and the legend of the most worthy, smartest, most talented young man and the legend of great love, and today medicine will tell us that it is impossible to die of your own free will, well , it is impossible of your own free will in no way, but here is what it knows at...

you watched the podcast precious history, my name is ekaterina varkana and i am visiting us today was elena vinogradova, she came

from voronezh to tell us about the wonderful poet and philosopher dmitry venevitinov. hello, with you is the scientific. popular podcast schrödinger's cat, i am its host grigory tarasevich, editor-in-chief of the magazine, which is also called schrödinger's cat, and we talk about the most important, the most significant things for us from the point of view of science, and today's topic is the role of the father. in order to talk about this role, we invited a sociologist, professor at the higher school of economics, elena rozhdestvenskaya, we have a special guest, podcast host. easy money, that is, my colleague and financial analyst mikhail khanov. just in case, i will explain that mikhail

is the father of four children, elena is the mother of two children, well, i am also the father of two children, which i am extremely proud of. and one more important clarification, we are talking specifically about science. i understand that every citizen of the globe knows how to properly raise children and is ready to share advice with anyone. today we are not so much about advice, so much about science, about the trends that are happening in the world, in our country, that changes, and elena, as i understand it, one of the significant trends is the return of the father. for this we must dive a little into the distant past, into other eras, before the modern era, and this gives us a perspective or retrospective of the variability of fatherhood, from a fairly serious involvement in the lives

of children and their family, to a distant position. here, surprisingly, but the diversity of societies, which, of course, show us an example of a family couple, couples included in a broad, extended, even parenthood, taking into account the various connections on the part of the husband and wives, show us that there is a society where fathers were previously included in the life of the wife, children, and there is a society where the pantheon of gods... was quite severe , mostly represented by male figures, and they themselves were warlike and dominant , well, and accordingly distanced themselves from ginickey, yes, that is, women with children with all the everyday life around them, this is not a man's business, therefore, generally speaking, anthropologically considering this situation, we understand that the absence is variable, it may

be so, or it may be edek, but nevertheless, entering such a rather broader... profession, entering them into the social order of society under their name, thereby legitimizing the child in society, and passing on their professional skills to them, and there were many fathers, but as production took away the domestic economy in favor of the public, men began to spend less and less time at home, work,

production and family, the family structure began to move further and further away from each other... the deprivatization of fatherhood is coming, then there is fatherhood, in fact, is separated from this family home, and part of the care function is transferred, mostly to women, here we understand that something has happened to the household, and society has begun to value completely different things, not the extent to which a man, the father of the family, is immersed in these practices of care, concerns of exercising control and responsibility, but only to the extent, the extent to which they can earn money for the family, and the trends that we are seeing now, what kind of financial breadwinners they are, to what extent well, as it is now, well, for the last, probably, 20 years, we have been talking about the fact that perhaps we are reviewing these grounds, here is the formula of this new involved fatherhood - this is the first thing, this is the availability of the father, that is, he is there, and he does not appear at 10:00 in the evening,

when the children should already be asleep, which means he should appear earlier, shortening his working day, then, this is interaction and this is not just the presence of the tv on and the children playing at your feet, this means you need to do something specifically with the children and not just control them, get involved in this game, participate equally, finally, this is responsibility, this is the formula that sociologists offered us, once again accessibility interaction and responsibility, it just shows that this is a very difficult task, not everyone has it...

and not a formal one for show, and here it is very important that you yourself want it, because children are such a tasty morsel, they instantly read the falsehood, and if you leave, communicate with the child, and well, as with the wife come home, do not touch. i had quite a stormy and in all respects youth, and i really wanted, i really wanted a child, therefore - my daughter was

so much expected that it didn't matter who it would be, a boy or a girl, and i did everything there, including drops of beetroot juice so that, excuse me, the intestinal tract would work better, and so, uh, when we talk about leaving, i have two marriages, in the first marriage... i left when the child was 7 years old, my daughter, this beloved one of mine, what i was most worried about was that i i will become a sunday dad, but i managed to maintain contact, well, for example, i was at all the meetings for 10 years at school, that is , her mother was never at a single meeting, i was involved in education, not so directly in detail pedantically, but i followed this, for some reason the meetings were not easy, when you sit in the common room and they tell you something, when you go to all the teachers, when you are engaged in the prospects for the development of your child.

i remain a very involved father, i do not lose contact even with older children, very dense, because i have another, in addition to two children in my second marriage, there is also a girl from my wife's first marriage, whom i have been raising since she was 10 years old and to this day we are in full contact with each other on vkontakte, as they say, and i give her advice on career development, i am also involved in her additional education, and how else? elena, so that the father could return so fully?

his professional employment, providing economic income, generally speaking, a single-parent family, most often, and may not survive, that is, this assumes that

a woman understands that involving her husband in this - if he is there, in this situation with raising children, yes, will entail consequences, what less money the father will bring in, but this means that my salary is an integral part of the family budget, for most... the picture looks like this: one or two children, this means that raising each of them is a whole business project, yes, that is , increased demands arise for that, even internal and coming from the social environment, to the fact that, firstly, it is necessary to engage in development a child, a child who does not go to any developmental clubs or other things along with school or late kindergarten, but this is somehow no longer camelfo, right? this is additional effort, this is additional money, this is additional management of this time in general, therefore, the understanding that fewer children, but higher quality - this is

childhood, plus to everything, the understanding that if i now miss this early period of childhood, where the idea of ​​​​involvement starts, then i will not get these fantastic unique emotions anywhere, and no one will compensate me for their absence and i will be to some extent.

for those fathers who choose to be involved, for them it is part of their paternal biography, which will require efforts, and some additional parental altruism, including, yes, this is of course, a sign, an interesting sign of the times, with you the podcast schoedinger's cat, and we are talking about the role of the father in the modern family, about what

about this? and in my opinion, this is already going away, no, you know, at least now we are aware of this most interesting paradox or even you can to say, a contradiction: on the one hand, most men share this unspoken love for the dominant type of masculinity, strong, courageous, emotionally self -limiting, which takes on the role of the main financial, so to speak, breadwinner of the family, on the other hand, involvement as

an activity of self-activity, well...

to say that you are a man, well, here elena touched on a very interesting topic, it is very important that a person wants to sit on this nest, because no matter what the financial conditions are, no matter what the agreements are, and here is a well-known fact that in every man there is something of a woman, something of a man, if we speak in a very simplified way for our audience, the same thing in a woman, and a woman in whom there is a lot of masculinity, it turns out that she is looking for a man as a partner, where there is more femininity and that's it. percent, where there is no longer a division there of 60 to 40, 70 to 30, but there is a division of 90x10, that's exactly men with the fact that there is more of a feminine principle in them, there is, say, 80%, and now i'm not talking about gender awareness, but simply about perceptions peace, they are ready to go for this role, what is called a househusband in the broad sense of the word, but i will say this, returning to the topic there the children are scattered not scattered, i stayed with two small children and

for several days a week. and therefore i understand that this is the hardest work, yes, when we say, well, what is wrong with you sitting there at home dear, yes there that there cooked something else, this is a nightmare of work, and most importantly, that in comparison with the work that a man calls work, but unless he is not worth it machine, at the conveyor and does not dig ditches, and even there there is time to talk, drink coffee, not to mention office work, where we can always find a scent there once an hour, here you are like chained to a machine gun, yes, like in germany, that is, here you are children will not give you anything to drink and so on. you are already thinking that when will your man come there or i will come there, when will my wife return to help me with this situation, but nevertheless it is very useful, because you understand how hard work it is, it is real work, very it is important that you do not perceive this as some kind of obligation or duty. elena, and as a woman in this position, she does not feel any jealousy, here was her niche, she was the main one for the child, then this man appears, says: now we have emancipation, gender roles have shifted, so you go to work. go

study, and i will go to kindergarten, to school to the doctor, yes he is so happy, well , of course, very differently, although, of course, some noticeable consequences.

not ready, within the family, which were not to stay at work, here are those fathers who this fruitful discourse, well, how do we share responsibilities, are we ready for this, yes psychologically, in this situation, of course , not everyone wants it, it just burns out, and those who are involved for the first time only because they were offered such a form, they find themselves in this capacity, get used to it, enjoy it, well, after all, returning to gender roles, i also have children, and my eldest ... they have already married or four years i have a hard time with dates in marriage i watch how they live, i see that our traditional idea of ​​men and women is somewhere deep in the past, that is, there is no father of the family, coming home from work, his wife

brings him soup, as it always seemed to be, they cook situationally, whoever has more time cooks, will this become a trend for us, or is this some kind of local case, and this is certainly not a local case, this is... a well-established trend according to surveys, according to quantitative surveys, representative surveys of families, married couples, the concept of head of the family has gone, but it is relevant constantly causing conflicts, let's say, the distribution of responsibilities in the family, couples is connected from two clan histories, from two family cultures, which are often very different from each other, yes, because with...

this manifestation of conflict, in fact , you always speak in some stereotypes, yes, you even demonstrate them there, whininess or , on the contrary, femininity or something, so if it is possible to give, as modern youth say, as i say, as my younger children say, three life hacks, then they are for husbands and

fathers, now i would formulate them as the following three: the first is that it should not be these stereotypes, yes, someone should do it this way, someone should do it that way and it should be only this way or that way, an addition to... this first life hack, and the fact that when we say that a woman is a family, these are children and so on, in fact, a huge number of divorces occur because a man develops, and develops, if, if he develops, yes, he develops there as an entrepreneur, as an employee, no matter what, he takes some courses, training, he communicates with a huge number of people, then in the end he simply a woman becomes uninteresting, who is just a mother, you can only talk to her about...

and now returning to that moment when she comes home and doesn't know what to do, here's a life hack: remember what she does, why do all wives and women love it when mom comes, yes, because she doesn't ask, what? not to do, but how, what, she just gets down to business, yes, something around the house, something with cooking, something with the kids, that is, she doesn't give herself any extra attention in setting tasks, because a woman, what irritates, a woman is irritated by a man's lack of self-confidence, when it manifests itself in what he says, well, what should i do, how can i help you, you will say, she says, more often she says everything, yes, i don't need anything, sit quietly, you only interfere with your questions, and it is easier for me to do everything myself, that is , men, here turning to fathers, when you come home, if you want to help your wife, you don't need to ask her what to do, just

do what you think is necessary, you won't succeed the first time, the second time, with the third time learn what you need right now, to cook, to take the children, to pick them up, to go for a walk, there, to leave your wife so that she can conduct some kind of seminar there, let's say, on her own education, or to go to the cinema with them, or to pick them up and dress them there, to go to the playground there to play, or to sit with them and read, or vice versa, to help solve some other problem, that is, you don't need to ask your wife what you should do. this is the worst help you can give her, yes, well, what should i do? nothing, sit there and don't show off, just don't interfere, because another child appears, who needs to be given instructions on what and how. great life hacks, but returning to education, development, as i understand it, there is now a rather opposite trend, that a man received some education, found some job, and a woman received one education, thank god, we have higher education equally, regardless of gender, and then i want more. get, she goes to a master's degree, goes to additional education, as a result, she accumulates

a higher educational level than a man, no, yes, i will say that it is possible, that it is present, at the same time, a large mass of others live completely differently, they live by stereotypes, they live by understanding what traditional culture they have not gone far from, they listen on the other side of the screen, from which we are now discussing this topic. with some irony, it is good for you to give us life hacks, but our reality looks very, very different, understanding this other side, i must say that we cannot get rid of stereotypical behavior, absolutely, yes, we can discuss them, we we can show, let's say, the limitations that these stereotypes impose on us, that we ourselves become prisoners of this stereotypical view of reality, and are the first to suffer from it, but stereotypes... in fact, are supported by

the entire culture in which we are embedded, so what is a man, if we do not know him personally, specifically, then we will think of him stereotypically, just like a woman. plus, let's still remember that when giving birth to a child, a woman, no matter what additional she would not be concerned with educational options, for some time she will be economically dependent, that is, temporarily for this period - raising small children, pregnancy and child care, maternity leave, a woman becomes temporarily very, very dependent on a man, in this phase the family is very vulnerable, and this very often provokes men to remember how dominant he is, how authoritarian he is, how he can control, and since the money is in his pocket, that is why, of course, how much it will be enough democratically, for involvement after, i am already talking about the male

reality, a person who is not a free creative profession, creative, who manages his working day, is autonomous from the boss, in general , his employment, his work schedule and so on and so forth depend on him, but a person who went as an employee to work, some large corporation, in which there is homosexuality to each other, yes, where there is high competition, where stress resistance is required, who... he's working himself into it, earning this salary for all three of them, if not more, plus the kids, yes , in this situation, yes, when he comes home, he kind of needs to switch off, he needs to throw off this stress from competitive and hard work, psychologically, i don't mean just physical work at a machine, but also work like this, let's say, with a high educational, so to speak, level, is also very, very stressful, in this situation, he needs to switch off.

to understand how to navigate in this world, yes, therefore, on the one hand, yes, of course, this is a wonderful thing, democratic gender attitudes, it shows us at least something distant and closer.

and financial analyst mikhail khanov, have the stereotypes of the fatherly model of this returning father changed, i mean, well, before there was, again, i 'm exaggerating a little, a stern dad who checks homework, gives slaps on the back of the head, such a controller looking down on him, has the father become more partner-like, more democratic in relation to the child, you know, i'm not entirely sure that this is the picture that you describe yes... and i would immediately think: aha, this is the very patriarch who is at the head of the paterfamilia, yes, and on whom not only the whole life, but also the survival of this family really depended, here we are today, after all, we are going through the recent experience of a socialist state

with total state power over the family, after all, in order to mobilize the broad masses for socially useful work it was necessary... the family, first to unpack it, if not destroy it, and then reassemble it on a socialist basis, in this situation the role of the father was completely lost, with motherhood, with mothers, the state had practically a direct contract, you give birth and work, here is your gender contract, yes, with men, and you are defenders of the homeland and you are workers, the father disappeared somewhere, therefore several generations of the soviet period men, generally speaking, having left... this patriarchal role came to something undefined, unperceivable, which today needs to be reassembled anew, here are the varieties of fatherhoods, types of fatherhood, which emerged already by the late soviet time, this is a participant, and there were such, yes, and

distant, and indifferent, and caring, and the one who, as it were , only participates on some financial grounds, yes in the end. alimony practice, the possibility of the father's presence, and adoptive fathers, and subsequently in a foster family, that is, this is a parent who is on a salary, and what should he be like, and the adoptive father, in our opinion, what should he be like, complete uncertainty, that is, each time we reassemble this culture of fatherhood on new grounds, now we have understanding that, unlike the maternal role, about which quite a lot is known, the paternal role is such an unknown journey, even today 's...

you go into your free swimming, so to speak, or, if there is no money, and what to do if there is no money, and what to do if the level of education in some village school was not enough to enter a university, then we reproduce the educational center of parents, we work where these opportunities open up.