on the difficult roads of life. our heroine, anastasia, does not know how to enjoy work and whether it is possible to enjoy it at all? nastya, today together with psychologist rinata bakhteeva we will try to look at your situation from the outside to look for that very destination in which there is happiness, and work, and pleasure , and money. so, you are 23 years old. yes, that's right. do you work? yes. and you can't stand your job. yes. you went. to work in your specialty, no, i don't like the specialty i got, so i went look for something in another area that maybe i would like, so you came to work and what was there that made you feel unhappy, dissatisfied, the biggest minus is the 5:2 schedule from 9 to 6, well or there from 10, it's very difficult, so i have colleagues who have three. children

, so they worked from 10 to 70 and somehow still had time to go somewhere to dance in the theater, i don't understand at all, because i woke up, somehow scraped myself out of bed, and got to work, somewhere first i tried to come to my senses for an hour or two after waking up traumatized, and i worked until 70 or 60, and when i came home, i had absolutely no strength for anything, and what kind of work was it, that's what office work is, or were you carrying furniture there, no, i wasn't carrying furniture. i sat at the computer, made phone calls, it was hard, and what was hard? and i didn't like the content of my work, i thought there would be something interesting, and i was really exhausted by the schedule, as i already said, and just in at some point i lost the joy in life, well, that is, somehow, you know, everything is so monotonous and in general, when a person stops wanting something, that is, he just acts on autopilot, but do you accept this as an adult? are you leaving this job and going

to look for a new job? no, at first i decided that i would take a rest, i am of the opinion that we work to live, and do not live to work, so for about a month and a half i was unemployed, i really liked it, now you have a new job, but there is still no joy, there is still no joy, the first couple of months it was really hard for me, because i felt like i was doing something meaningless, monotonous, mechanical, monotonous, and it was like... it was driving me crazy, like i was wasting my life on this nonsense. nastya, is it important for you at all that your work has some meaning, well, i would like something worthwhile, and some kind of , perhaps, self-realization or self-expression through work, yeah, that is , it would motivate you, yes, if you could somehow develop yourself, do something, that 's an interesting case, yes, nastya wants to do something, if it will bring her.

well, how are we going to help, because what is the request that we have with you, how to find something to your liking, some kind of work, yes, so that she responds, likes it and at the same time not burn out, because you can get a job, and then in general. some time, or understand that it is not that, in general it is very difficult for me, it is difficult to somehow choose, you understand, there are so many different options in the world, the possibility of choice depresses me very much, because i am afraid to make a mistake, well, come on, renata, navigate us, anastasia, tell me please, how long have you been at your unloved job, four months, and how did you immediately understand that it doesn't suit you? well

, right away, right away, and what prevented you from changing it? well , look, at work there are several criteria by which we choose it, and now i am basically satisfied with my work schedule, but my activity doesn't resonate with me, and what activity resonates with me, this question is unknown to me, that is, i need to go somewhere, but it is not clear where, plus the education i received at the university is not for me, but what if it's a secret? by profession i am a state municipal employee? accordingly i have neither knowledge nor experience in these spheres, this limits me quite a lot, you see, i want to do something and not make a mistake, but i understand in my head that, well , most likely, it will not be possible to do everything perfectly, and at the same time i am very much slowed down by the fact that i am trying to somehow calculate the most correct option. for example, that sometimes i

still do not understand what i want, with sensations, feelings, and i try to rationally arrange with my head what will be better, yes a specific example, with young people you have the same. well, probably the same, yes, well, in the sense that i don’t have any feelings for someone, i immediately, when i communicate with some person, i try to calculate, i immediately see points of contact in which we are not suitable for each other, but there must be some, for some feeling to arise, yes, falling in love, there, sympathy, there must be idealization, i can’t idealize, because i immediately start, i really need to think, tell me, please, the internal controller, it when i was born, it was always like this, or something happened in...

that is, it was always like this, as far as i can remember, i think, and do you feel like a little child in an adult in the world of adult aunts and uncles? well, i wouldn't want to completely agree with this formulation, but i periodically have thoughts that it's as if all my , well, not all, but most of my acquaintances or friends, they somehow live life, they start doing something, they either come up with some projects themselves, or something interesting, they go to study somewhere and so on, and i, like as if i am somewhere overboard, i would like to feel, of course, more independent, to feel more support in myself - in this adult world, so what is stopping me, well, all these doubts, yeah, fears, i really, it seems to me, am afraid of many things, i am afraid of failures, that is, in your opinion, the world is

a danger, or adult life, the lack of basic trust in the world, well, that's rather the formulation, yes, about basic trust, i 'm not saying that the world is a danger, the world is a lot, there is a lot of good, and you... see it, yes, and what good do you see, that's in your personal life, i don't mean relationships with people now, but in general your private life, i really like people, yes, people are very good, many good people, maybe such a job is needed in which nastya will communicate with people, for example, some helping professions, social or be an organizer of something, he organizes holidays, for example, there is a lot of responsibility in this in everything, i am complex, and our responsibility is hero. yes, because here a lot of tension is caused by this responsibility, accordingly, procrastination, or i will do it very well, i must have a guarantee that i will cope, or these two tracks, and money fame, and what about responsibility, what about young people with fears that

prevent them from taking responsibility and enjoying it, well here there may be an option of either overprotection on the part of parents then overprotection leads to learned helplessness of the child, i will do it for you better than you, or you will not cope here, i will wash the dishes better now, i will clean better, and you should never do for a child what he is able to do himself, and accordingly the consequences can be of such a nature that it is difficult for me to make a decision, i need guarantees, i need to ask adults, yes, or i need to feel safe in a particular situation, then i will go there. when we choose a life partner, i need to calculate 10 steps ahead, that is, this is overcontrol, and then burnout occurs loss of interest, and hence indifference to what is happening, and this is such a vicious circle, and this is generally typical for a generation twenty-year-olds, on the contrary, in my opinion,

generation z they are more ambitious, they are trying to declare themselves and are more open to something new, now... in social networks, the internet and so on, of course, we know bloggers who have earned millions there by the age of 19, yes, we know programmers, by the way , who have not yet had 18 years of higher education, they are already coding there and earning as much as their family in a year, and hence the next paradox, that this easy money, yes, which other representatives of this generation go for, seeing how their peers easily earn this money, and enjoy it, while...

because i understand that it limits me, and if now i still, well, i'm 23 years old, i have separated myself to some extent, yes, but when i was younger and lived in that house, then it directly. it had a strong influence on me, let's say, it's unpleasant, of course, and how did you react, did you leave through rebellion, yes, and how are your relationships developing now and your mother's reaction and attitude to the fact that you are in a difficult situation in terms of choosing a profession and your purpose, well, i think that now she would probably support any of my decisions to change my profession to a greater extent, because i can talk quite emotionally about what i don’t like. and i think that somehow it resonates with her, i understand that on the one hand i can do what i

want, on the other hand, again, that i’m afraid of making a mistake and some consequences, that is, some criticism or some negative reactions from the public, well, whoever she wasn't there, there was a friend, colleague and so on, this is what limits me, what would we advise parents to give them the opportunity to make decisions on their own, never do it for the child. you need to understand him, support him, ask, what do you feel, what do you dream about,

what are your absences connected with, and what hurts you, and how often do parents address their child not from top to bottom, just sit on a friend's table and ask, how are you, my dear, yeah, how can i be useful to you, and some of your positive or negative experiences with reinforcement that we will cope with this together, i have been through this too. if you need my hand, i am here, and if not, i believe in you, i apologize for my appearance, but i would like to bring some clarity, who are you, and i am viktor vladimirovich, major kolyonny, retired, volodya, i killed a man, sometimes women with high social responsibility are much more terrible than women with low, but nothing, it is from this point that... he is a fatal blow, like this, like this this, if i knew that you were coming

to poison a cockroach, i would have arrived in a limousine, you know, how it is with muslims, a child belongs to the father's clan, dad, and what your real wife did in the car with her first husband, you know? well, this is exactly what the investigation will have to establish. and in our yard the season is interrupted, tomorrow on the first. this is a podcast about the psyche, and today we are looking for a professional path for our heroine anastasia. nastya, how did you choose the university? to be honest, i felt very tired at school. so. this is, you know, the pressure on eleventh graders, moral, that you need to pass the unified state exam, if you don’t pass the unified state exam,

then that’s it, things won’t go that way, now i understand that this is obviously not true, that this is complete nonsense, but still this pressure is felt, i just wanted everyone to leave me alone, who i wanted to be, i didn’t know, well, that is, well, i wanted to go to some kind of maybe something creative, but they told me, this is not a profession, here is to somehow defend your point.

one of the acute normative crises, this is normal, that’s when nastya needed to go to such a psychologist, is it too late now, and if anastasia is coming now. to such a specialist, what questions will she have to answer for herself? it is never too late to make a choice in favor of yourself, always listen to your feelings, to your mind, to your feelings, to the sensations in your body, what i feel now, how good i feel in the body with this thought, where is it

located, or i feel that the jitters, the yeast, the heart stops. the breath stops at the thought of only one profession, ask your mind, and what do i think about this, turn on logic, how do you do you like to do this, ask your soul, and what do i feel about this, do i feel joy, or do i feel fear, and this is our royal advice, this is the mind, soul and body that will help you in any life situation, ask yourself, what do i get the most pleasure from and what can i do for free, and the approach, by the way, you understand, is also so twofold, because if many people say: and i, for example, want to lie on the ceiling for free, pour water and scroll through short videos. well, then you need to go with a different request to a psychologist, if a person can't get out, because this, by the way, is the same addiction as addiction, for example, to sweets and various chemicals or to alcohol.

it seems to me that renata actually offered you a very correct formula, although it may be... it looks somewhat romantic, but it seems to me that it is absolutely practical, indeed, to sit down and make a list of those activities that you were ready to take on, well, maybe not forever for free, for example - a 3- month internship, you know, there are these vacancies, when they are looking for a caretaker on some beautiful exotic island, where you need to live for six months, just watching some rare birds, keeping some simple diary. observations, why not, there are some difficulties, that, for example, not every job is suitable again without education, and not every job can be done immediately on an internship, that is, it is necessary, and let's say to go somewhere to study, to go somewhere to study is quite risky, and then you also need this, so that it somehow combines, you know, work life balance, i would like to live, work,

sleep, see friends , have enough time for myself, suddenly i will choose some profession, study, and then i will understand what is it that we definitely need to know, and at the same time you can monetize it, this is the problem, you see, i would really like to somehow show myself, to be useful in some way, but i can’t yet understand how, that is, i want to somehow express myself, but it is not clear what to talk about, what did you dream about as a child? and it seems to me that i dreamed of being a singer or something like that, well, i didn’t dream, but you know,

when children in kindergarten draw their future profession, you can relate to it now, but i don't think so. i rather wanted to, i just thought about it later, interpreted it, that i'm so cool, in the center of attention, everyone looks at me and thinks, she's super, that is , it's important that there was this approval, approval, yes, like all this common love, listen, nastya, if you were, for example, a nurse, all your relatives would say how lucky we are, there is a nurse anastasia, who will just look at you with one glance on the patient and it immediately becomes easier, she does that...

now, for example, for some short period of time as a great assistant to the head, you are so thoughtful, yes, that is , to build his schedule, to make sure that the meetings are on time, that the car arrives, that the meeting is organized, it seems to me that this is useful for experience, for some kind of personal development, but at the same time it is still - you want to, you know, create something, bring something good into this world, but what prevents you from creating it now something for you... to create, here's the misunderstanding, what can you do with your hands, well, draw, maybe, wash dishes, well, i don't know, a strange question, listen, you know, i can grow roses. that's true, i can grow roses, i understand that if i have nothing to do, i'll continue to develop my rose garden at the dacha, i don't know

why, and if you show me this, then i'll be happy to learn from you, i 'll even sell you these roses, you know, when i have more time, i'll sell them roses, well, of course i'm practically joking now, but not really joking, if you like to draw, then you can create your own page on any social network and show how you do it. and if you do it with enthusiasm, you can involve kids in it, for example, yes , some, a good option, and can you teach drawing as a tutor to some children? well, to be honest, i haven't done drawing for a long time, it's more like a hobby that i had in my teens, what can you teach children? oh, for now i'm afraid that nothing, in in my understanding, that it is necessary to master something first, the skill of how to handle children, you understand that it is very responsible in fact. that is, even yes, but yes, as we know in terms of measurement, yes, but great, you know, such a strategy that don't touch me, please, let it somehow fly to us from somewhere, well, it won't fly from anywhere, i

understand that you need to move independently somehow, then maybe it will fly. renata, what actually, in your opinion, today prevents anastasia from taking responsibility for herself? because now it is true looks like this: nastya is sitting, a teenager, twenty-three years old, yes, and we for... adult aunts have gotten to nastya, we are trying to persuade her as a vice-mother, she is apparently like that, you know , mothers on call, to do something, please , to which, nastya, a future smart person, with good speech, very successfully parries and does not allow us to build a strategy for nastya, and no one, apparently, can build this strategy, what prevents nastya from becoming an adult right now, fear? mistakes, infantilism, that is, the fear of mistakes does not allow her not to possess new skills, yes, she's right, yes, to do something, you need to get some

skills, but renata tells you that to get skills, you need to start doing something, and here our hero turns out, it's enough to get out of this vicious circle and just try, without any expectations, to take one step, when we want to eat an elephant metaphorically, we need to divide it into several. and what if we write out our plan step by step, where it's not so global and it will be scary to follow it, and i know what gets in the way, any plan assumes the idea of ​​some end point, nastya doesn't have an end point, you see, that's another point, that i really try to try, i had one job there, a second job, a third job, and with each new job i have... less and less faith that there is, in principle, a job that would suit me, faith in my own strength , because then you need to

get married successfully, successfully, have children, which means, and be a well-off wife, for the same thing, sorry for interrupting you, of course, here too you want everything to go right away, okay, well, that is, until you have this rich husband who will suit you in all respects, who will coincide with your certain speculative matrix, you need to solve such a problem, yes, that is, how to do what? you need to live, yes, that is , how to provide for yourself, but at the same time preserve this joy of life, am i right in understanding, yes, and these three jobs of yours, they allowed, for example, to leave, well, at least some piece of time for some distance courses, well , perhaps, perhaps, yes, yes, yes, i think that it is possible to find some option, so that adapt with distance learning, i want to believe in it, then you will have a motive to complete some new courses, get new? skills, and not a very favorite job - this is the resource that you tolerate, well, life is like that, she is not from the world of pink ponies. this is a psyche podcast, and today we are looking for

a professional path for our heroine anastasia, there was such an outstanding scientist, ours, russian, soviet, genrikh saulovich alshuler, this is the person who created. mathematics and physics, we need to start with that, to imagine an ideal result, when you imagine some ideal result, that's when the road is built.

what brings you great joy and probably money, how much money does work bring you when you're 35, no, well wait, if we 're saying that it's not harmful to dream, then i can give you some numbers, but i would think that it would be nice to be in some kind of business by the age of 35, so good, you're in business, what is your net income, per month or per year, how difficult it is to think in numbers, well, i don't know, well, 1,400, 4,000?

10 hours a day, well, maybe not always, you don't always work 10 hours a day, there are periods when you have some kind of reports or you launch a new project, well, maybe, how do you relax when you are 35 years old and you own a business, yes, i think like ordinary people, well, that is, first of all, eight hours of sleep, good nutrition, sports, dancing, walking, meeting with friends, traveling, reading, there are many, many activities,

some other development, i think that... it is useful to somehow improve your qualifications at the same time, what useful things does your business bring to society in the world, i don’t know, maybe i won’t do business at all, maybe i want to become some kind of media personality, give people inspiration, for example, in order to inspire people you need to be inspired yourself, be filled, to give something, therefore your ultimate goal, i completely agree with you here that it should be...

then maybe, admit to yourself your real true goal, then it will light you up, and this will be your fuel for to move forward and not give up, yeah, nastya, let's try with you sorinato the three of us in a brainstorming mode to understand what needs to be done right now today, here are the steps that need to be taken in order to be this successful by the age of 35. something small or big of your own business that brings pleasure in itself, but at the same time leaves you time for life, for development, for communicating with friends? and first of all, obviously, i need to choose a niche or area in which i want develop, or maybe several, so that later they can be somehow combined, and then get an education, and accordingly work for hire, to understand how it all works from the inside, yeah, and at the same time i will also work through some of my fears that i won’t succeed

in a successful scenario, we leave a job we don’t really like, if it brings you the money today that allows you to live and study, yes, we leave the job, but at the same time you can think about some other job, will i be able to implement it, of course, i'm not sure yet, but we'll see, okay, here's renata's idea, to think about what you could do for free, she hasn't found any obvious answer yet, well, you know? for free, again, i can't single out any one activity, that is, there are things that i like, yes, for example, there are many jobs that are tied to communication with people, i like communication with people, there or i like creativity, i like classes with some kind of physical activity, combine all this you can't, but at the same time there are many professions, it seems to me, which are at the junction of plus and minus, so you need to somehow think a little deeper, maybe you could write out for yourself at least a list of such professions

first? i thought, i wrote out, i did this, so, you came up with what you are interested in, what are we doing with you, well, in general, in a good way, you need to slowly tread the path into that what does it mean to do? well, somehow somehow study this question, how to study this question? i have many acquaintances who have an amazing the skill of studying independently on the internet, i can't do that, and what's stopping you from studying independently on the internet? lack of the proper level of discipline, i'm probably not motivated enough, because the educational process, the work process in many ways for me is also tied to communication, when i sit alone and well, scroll through the internet ... then well, i'm not so motivated, i can get distracted and some business will be found to go with someone to see someone to meet there, which will be a priority at the moment, because it is more an easy path, a well-trodden one, and if it seems to me

that i purposefully place myself in some environment, then it will be easier to some extent, this is also a path when there are some factors of external control, yes , such a supportive environment, you know, like soldiers when they are tired... sometimes they sleep in formation, you know, yes, here comes a box, and those who are in the middle, they can sleep, because those who hold you around, this very often happens in teams, in civilian life, when this box of your like-minded people supports you and does not allow you to deviate, disciplines, well, you can't come to work at 11:30, where everyone else, the rest of the team is already with tithes. and you have now self-diagnosed yourself quite, it seems to me, successfully, yes, that is, anastasia said: yes, i can't study on the internet, i need external control, you can find such a company, such a team that will

meet your certain ideas about joy, but will keep you, well, i don't know, go to study in a correspondence master's program and become a group leader, for example, yes? become a group leader i don't like the prospects, i don't see any interest in taking on additional responsibility, but i'm honest with myself, but i'm thinking about going somewhere , i'm thinking about it, but i'm trying, you know, to weigh everything up, i'm currently weighing it up, and anastasia, here's an idea for you, if you do a small survey among your friends, the first question would be, why do you love me, value me, and respect me? the second question: what do i do best? the third question: as what kind of specialist could you recommend me? here you compare these answers, isolate the most frequently repeated ones, and this is how

the people around you will see you. it seems to me to be quite a sensible piece of advice, but there are concerns that if, well, if i get some unsatisfactory answers in the sense that well , the results.

i see you and quite strong and quite healthy ambitions, all that remains is to get to the bottom of what your resource is, what your skills are, what your talents are, i am sure that they exist, and there is knowledge, there is strength, there is energy, how to find this, the question is not simple, maybe it is necessary go to a vocational education specialist, maybe you need to do some kind of meticulous study of the world around you, it is absolutely certain that... there are a lot of professions, a lot of work, a lot of opportunities to study remotely, and also, thank god, there is a reserve of time, which of course is melting away, this is what i sincerely wish for you, and i wish you, maybe,

not to put this off for a long time, wisely, thank you, what we are aware of, we can control, and what we are not aware of, controls us. i sincerely would like you wish to realize now our dialogue, our conversation to take what is close to you. thank you. it was a podcast psyche and we were looking for a path of professional and life realization for our very young heroine anastasia together with psychologist rinata bakhteeva. if you want to tell us your story, fill out the form on the website 1tv.ru.

and in our history there are periods that, well , are created for adventure literature, ala, alexander dumas, for example, conspiracies, intrigues, alcove secrets, the thunder of drums, well, this is, of course, the history of palace coups, in first of all, of course, they are not... for nothing very beloved by our creators of such costume series, god bless him, but the trouble is that too often these series are used to judge true history, this always confuses me very much, that's for sure, or by the novels of valentin pikul, which not only are very far from the principle of historicism, but also contain a mass of historical errors, facts, he generally treats facts.

foreign specialists in russian service, and

russians, because there were already enough of their own, even captains of ships from twenty ships of the fleet 13, respectively , were already russian, while under peter the ratio was completely different, under elizabeth, well, a university was created, under elizabeth the first russian imperial theater was created, the traditions of which we honor to this day, although it would seem, yes , elizabeth was a cheerful queen. and have fun, only there is no order, as was in the wonderful work of alexei konstantinovich tolstoy, yes, the history of the russian state from gosstomysl to timashev, remember, you and i just said, that means, immediately after peter coup, meyshikov, in fact, with the help of the guard, he puts catherine on the throne, who was by no means the main contender for the throne up to this point, there was peter alekseevich, yes, there was peter's grandson , in the male line, yes.

that is, this is a group of influential dignitaries who take power, in general, according to, so to speak, the law, they are actually not authorized to decide the issue.

he is overthrown by minikh, and after some time, that means, a new coup, elizabeth petrovna, and minikh is sent to prison, which he himself, and he was an engineer, designed, so to say, for biron, they even have evidence that they meet on the road, and look at each other coldly, one carriage goes to prison, the other goes... to the palace. peter ii. on the throne, he is overthrown by catherine. the future catherine ii. catherine is against her son paul becoming the heir. and only after catherine's death does paul come to

power, and he is also killed. that is, this whole chain demonstrates how turbulent and... lawless, in essence, that era was, yes, i would still tolerate a coup against paul i out of the brackets, because unlike this, we will talk about this now, the clan nature of the palace coups that took place from 1725 to 1762, the coup against paul is still different, because paul managed to anger an entire social stratum, not individual clans, paul really angered the majority of the nobility, which either participated in the coup or joyfully welcomed it, well, if ... remember, so to speak, minshikov, well, the very beginning of the reign of catherine i, then here foreigners fully supported menshikov and catherine, although their the influence was already quite large, well after the era of peter the great, when many

foreigners were invited, they had already come close to the throne, but strictly speaking, they themselves were directly in... he, he had a very long career under a number of our rulers, he was valued both as a diplomat and as a person who understood internal affairs, a very interesting episode for the characterization of osterman himself, when ...