it's the same, go ahead, and this is oh, this is a su-24, how do you know, our group has a book, i 've read it a billion times, well done, and do you know that your grandfather flew this plane in 1987, he fought the great war on this one, cool, this is the one with the medal, yeah, that's the one, oh, this is the one with the takeoff light, i 'm going to fly on one like this when i grow up. maybe there's a spark, what's the matter, maybe a tram, oh, give me the phone, yeah, we looked, we liked it, yeah, we're already in the car, we'll stay a little longer, we'll go get some ice cream, yeah, come on, come on. "we

true in the car and true eat ice cream, mom, it's better not to tell, okay, well look, maxim, i'll go out for a second now, i'll come back and we'll go, okay, all the way, i want all the money that the wedding will give us to send to the house, true, kirill doesn't really like this idea, i think that s'. i can break him, that's all, for now yes, julia, and excuse me, can we talk with you, it's urgent, of course, only tête-tête, yeah, yeah, excuse me, i accidentally overheard there, you're doing a good deed, kind, but i left home myself, my mom gave it to me there, when i was 4, that's probably why it's so important to me and... to have a family, i can't

believe it, very soon kirill and i will be husband and wife, and then we will have a child, and it will be a full-fledged family, it's incredible, you know ksyusha, your assistant, yeah, yeah, she also goes home, a very smart, unhappy girl, i took her on as an assistant. it's very important to give such guys a chance, did you want to talk about something? oh yeah, i don't even know somehow, and you, probably, about the fee, just a second, i didn't, you deserved it, take it, listen. "i understand that you

would like to lead your real daughter to the altar, but please, imagine that i am her, help me, help me become happy, can i ask, do you love your kirill, very much, well and good." we are starting kvm. here is the house where kvn lives, here is maslyakov, the permanent host since the middle ages. he lived a beautiful, elegant , glorious life.

in memory of alexander maslyakov. tomorrow on the first. we need to finish this performance. can you be patient for 10 minutes? the orchestra is the most patient people.

here, so that these two wonderful young people who have decided to take such a responsible step in their lives could unite in a legal marriage, you don't have to marry him, but this is all a deception, what do you mean, guys, what do i mean, you are all pretending to be something, well, not a single normal person. some actors, what is he talking about, yes , some kind of crazy person, someone plays a devoted wife wonderfully, very good, what are you talking about, relative, someone, someone among us even plays a loving groom, you've got something mixed up, papash, forgive me, son, i just didn't hear

what you just said, you heard everything, are you, what, what's wrong, son? are you going to endure this? what's going on, dad? girl, you wanted your real father to lead you to the altar, you wanted him to bless you, but believe me, he would never do that, never, you ask them, them, who he loves more, and who, i caught them, he's lying, he's lying, this goat isn't even your father, he's an actor, every cheap tv series clone, that's all right, that's right, i'm an actor from cheap tv series, guys, but you all outplayed me today, bravo, bravo, i'll just tell you one thing, yes, i haven't seen my own daughter

for more than 20 years, and i really hope that if my daughter ever wants to marry such a... nobody, then she'll find at least some drunk who will tell her, don't do this, don't do this, please, don't, thanks for the fee, that's an artist, well, dad, yeah, who do you believe, dad, come here, no, come here, come here, come, dad, yulka, come on, he's lying, what are you, well, go, what are we watching, there are salads here.

the restaurant is ready, great. that's it, ol, i've arrived, meet me, i'm here,

can you explain to me why you appointed zakharov as nikitina's attending physician after that operation with the girl, why do you hold this wolf doctor so dearly. or maybe because there are no others like him, i understand, that's all there is.

it turns out that your mother kicked you out, you could

say that, i even made a film about this, an astronaut, a wife with two children on the ground, and he flies. and what did you do that was so bad, astronaut? i already told her on the first date that my home is cinema, my wife is creativity, she seemed to agree, but then she couldn't stand it, or something, she filed a lawsuit, the court forbade me to meet with you. tragedy is when everyone is right, everyone is guilty, yes,

nikita and i also blamed ourselves that you and mom weren't together, when parents break up, children always blame themselves, child psychology, probably, i know that you hated me. well, in my situation i could only watch from the side, that's why you started filming, children's films, it hurts, well, you have to somehow close it gestalts, a man, he is a man to the end, when there are children around him, now you are here at... i feel at home, nikita

found me 3 years ago, he set the house on fire, nikita set the house on fire, ubana, no one was hurt, no, the house just burned down, my wife left me, everything is at work, work, work, work, in her eyes it probably looked like i was trying to, how to say it, from the family, or something, slip away, fool, i think that he fell out of love. there are situations in life, my son, when

you need to do everything to save the house, i didn’t succeed, but you have a chance, wait! i'll try. you've finally made up, oh, my leg's been on the wagon with all your chatter, how are you, misha, okay, they'll let you out of jail, i'll be better, mikhail, forgive me for hitting you, i didn't mean to, no,

no, everything's fine, it's not your fault, i didn't get it, did you, did you throw yourself under the car on purpose? yes , for uncle vasya's sake i'd throw myself under a tank, let alone a car, you weirdos, thank you, misha, hey, uncle, just a second, you owe me a soda, a golostyan soda,

cool.

come on, come on, here, at me, hey, calm down, calm down, come here, come here, dad, dad, quiet, calmly, at me, come on, come on , come on, calmly! dad, dad, hold on, maxim,

don't do this, don't, don't do this, dad, dad, car, take care, no. dad, help, hold on, i can't do it anymore, why isn't he calling, who knows, i haven't worked hard, maybe i need a couple of minutes, hold on, dad, i'm here, i'm here, where's the tiger?

hello, hello, forgive me, for god's sake, and i'm there. yesterday, thank you, you didn't get married, no, the wedding didn't work out,

dad talked me out of it, oh, and you earned it honestly your fee, no need, i'm not in a situation to... refuse, take it, be honest, you did your job, as my father should have done, can i ask, what happened to him, i don't even know who he is, but i hope if he were around, he would have done the same, and more. what's this? your daughter's phone number. she lives with her mother in portugal. her name is also julia. call her, her

birthday is coming up. in 2 days. and she hasn't spoken to her dad for 20 years. 21. especially. thank you again, goodbye!

hello, hello, daughter, it's me, dad, listen, if i tell you how i got your number, you just won't... doctor, doctor, what's wrong with artyom? everything is fine, the operation was a success. artyom will wake up in a couple of hours. thank you very much. i think i forbade you to operate yesterday. volkov, you operated. who gave you permission to experiment on other people's children, experiment on your own, i promised tyom that i

would do everything to make him get better, and i think i kept my word, artyomka is alive, that's the main thing, he will live and make you happy, lyosha, thank you. goodbye, now you can fire, you won't get away with just firing, pavel ignatovich, alena viktorovna, i want you to know that it was dr. volkov who saved your son, you should thank him, and regarding the experiments, a couple of years ago , nikolai aleksandrovich's son kolya needed a transplant. and volkov didn't risk going through with this, as you say, experiment, but if he had, the boy would

have lived. is that true? yes, and why did you keep quiet? i told you, but you apparently didn't hear, hello, please connect me to the licensing department. nikolay aleksandrovich, artyom nikitin asked me to pass on this before the operation.

business, can i say a few words, yes, today is an interesting day, you are all very good guys, but i want to drink to our dads, we

can.

are you hurt? no, everything is fine. lera. guys, your dad is my favorite director. and even though he has few films, they are the best. i think the best thing you can do in life is to make your children happy. you look at me without a doubt, like, dad, i know everything, i understand, everything without exception, without exception, let's do it without but teachings, i've been here for a long time, and i'm trying to explain your purpose, while you're young , how important it is to choose the right direction, for the right movement, because i care how you will live, who you will sail with, i

don't want to teach you, but just understand, who else should i cherish, when you become big, son, i really want to know, daughter, i really want to believe that you will open the door, don't be afraid to change something, when you become a big daughter, when you trust me, son, then you will understand why everything that i couldn't, i dream to embody in... be, wait, turn off, that's it, let's go, you know, it's not for nothing that i advise you, i was once in your place, that's the only reason, that's the only reason i help with the answers, how long ago it was, but if i could return that

time... i would probably change a lot, without regret, well, tell me your opinion, you do care, how you will live, who you will sail with? i don't want to teach you, but i know, at any moment, i am ready to be with you, when you become big, son, i really want to know, daughter, i really want to believe that you will open the doors, don't be afraid to change something, when you become big daughter, when you trust me, son, then you will understand why everything that i couldn't , i dream to embody in you , when you become big daughter,

when you trust me, son, then you will understand why everything that i couldn't, i dream to embody in you, when you become big daughter, when you trust me, son, then you will understand why everything that i couldn't, could, i dream of embodying in you. hello, dear viewers, you are watching a special edition of the triggers podcast, here in the studio we continue the topic

of the series mutual consent and talk about abuse, about abusive relationships and their consequences for victims of abusive relationships. with you is the host tatyana krasnovskaya and sergey. evgenia is our guest today. evgenia, hello. hello. hello, what did you want to talk about? what did you want to deal with? i wanted to deal with problems that stretch from childhood and do not allow me to still live in my adult life. tell me your story? the story is quite straightforward, simple, but very... tragic, i grew up in a foster family and my entire life period of childhood, growing up, i lived in an atmosphere of very

harsh oppression, you said, a foster family, how did this happen? well, since childhood i heard the story that my parents abandoned me, and my biological aunt, who was my guardian, and... well, she took me away so that i wouldn’t be sent to an orphanage, but when i grew up, i started collecting documents, made requests to the court there authorities and so on, and found out a completely different story, the whole truth was that it was my aunt who initiated the deprivation of parental rights of my parents, and well, as i understand it, this was done because of the benefits that... find out? yes, i found it, but they both died already, that is, you had no contact, already in adulthood with them, i saw my father

and you know something about my parents, i managed to several times, and my mother, unfortunately, i only found her grave already, yeah, my aunt is my mother's sister, my father's sister, my father's sister, they took her away at what age, from three months. her husband is a monster, and on the part of her husband it is a situation of violence, that is, well, i was beaten very badly as a child, by my aunt or her husband, husband,

yeah, and there was sexual harassment, it didn't come to direct sexual violence, yeah, but it was sexual harassment that accompanied me for many years, yeah, at what age did it start? well, probably from about twelve years old, how did it manifest itself, touching, feeling, stroking, climbing into bed at night, i... was very afraid to go to bed , i locked the door, yeah, uh, one day he came under the driver started to break into my room, it was locked, the next morning the first thing he did was cut the lock out of the door, all this happened in front of my aunt, yes, she knew all this, yes, how she reacted, she told me, not paying attention to him, he's drunk, well , don't pay attention, i mean, maybe, don't be offended, that's still understandable, how can you not pay attention to the very act of

him pestering you, well, all this was brought out as my fault, that it was because of you that i have this particular husband and not some other, you believed, well, you know, i stopped loving her, i stopped perceiving her as my mother, i found out very early that i was adopted and... of course, my thoughts in childhood were completely different, because the lack of attention, the lack of love, i perceived as de facto, yeah, i'm the oldest, i'm the most mature, and well, you don't need to coddle me like you do with those who are younger, but then i realized that she simply didn't love me when i collected all the documentation related to the deprivation of parental rights. parents for me well, everything fell into place. this is the important

question that sergey asked you, did you believe that this was really the result of your behavior, that it was your fault? you know, 50/50, on the one hand, i realized that this was how he was, on the other hand, i felt very ashamed and awkward. for many years, well, i lived generally doused with. i began to have early physiological development with complexes and for many years i simply walked bent over, hid myself there , my posture deteriorated, and so on, that is , to some extent i considered myself guilty of that he is awakening precisely this kind of interest, yeah, i have a fantasy that this could have been reborn. your conviction that you are to blame for your own

attractiveness, yes, and how do you live with this idea now? no, now it has dissipated a little for me, but this story, of course, has not disappeared from my life without a trace. how old are you now? 42. now, when we talk about childhood problems, would you like to change something in your past so that in the present, what? so that in the present you feel. calm, confident, uh, to understand in the present that you have something to love for, uh, so that i have a full-fledged family and children, which i don’t have, i don’t have that now, and what do you love yourself for? - you know, uh, my love for myself is actually lame , it’s lame for everyone, and it’s lame in all manifestations, uh, even in ordinary everyday ones, uh, for example, ... well, if i sit down

to dinner with my spouse, i, for example, set the table, set the table, if i sit down alone, then i never specially cook anything for myself, that is, well, in everyone, this is how it looks self-loathing, what does self-love look like, if there are such manifestations, i probably haven’t even fully realized what true self-love is, i perceive it more as... yeah, neither me nor my husband, but

i carried one very scary story from childhood, one day my aunt’s husband came home, drunk, aggressively disposed, started pestering me right in front of her, and i burst into tears, she was at home, she saw it all, i started having such a fit, that is... i cried, i said, well, how long is this you can, you see, he's pestering me, why don't you stop him, here and there, and he told me in front of her, how much, well , don't show off, anyway... your first child will be born from me, yeah, and well, for me this is a very scary, painful story, and i still can't let it go, that you then decided for yourself that i wouldn't have children, and was there anyone next to you, besides your aunt, who was

aware of what was happening? no, no grandparents, no one, no friends, no girlfriends at school, no, i never... this is not discussed and it is necessary to understand that there was a completely different political system, her husband was an official, with good connections, yeah, it was always easier for her to make it look like i was the bad one, yes, if some conflict situations or something went out of the house, yeah. then i was the bad one, but not her husband with pedophilic tendencies, did you have thoughts about going somewhere to tell someone other than your aunt? there were, there were, once i said that i would go to the police, there was the police then, i would write a statement against him,

in response he openly laughed, he laughed in fact, very openly sincerely, and well, i realized that i couldn't get any help anywhere... in your ears, when the cry that i 'll do this, and the rapist laughs, i imagine that his laughter is still in well, it's clear that at this point you already find yourself, and powerless, if i asked you to describe him positively, what would you

say, if there are such words, look, if not, just say no, this is a test question, or maybe? it will be subjective on my part, but i can't say anything positive about him, because the personality it is not only the attitude towards me, but also the attitude towards the family as a whole, he abused my aunt, he beat her, she lived in such an aggressive marriage, it is still a mystery to me why she did not divorce him, that is precisely because she was put down.

very kind, and it is very great that you do not have this, because she explained it to herself, somehow, we will leave her alone now, but you do not have this, it is great, it is great, because in the end you left, in the end you found a way, the attempts that you made, says that the will, your inner will, it pulled you out of there, and if today we talk about how to change reality in the... present, then we have the will, and this is very cool, so we will somehow impose everything else on it, because your will is what you have, and this is very true, very cool. who are you? major larin, who? alexey nilov, star of the nineties and noughties, captain larin of the tv series street

of broken lanterns, opera, and chronicle of the combat department.