she pulled you out of there, and if today we talk about how to change reality in the present, then we have will and this is very cool, so we will somehow impose everything else on it, because here is your will - this is what you have, and this is very really very cool, who are you, major larin, who is alexey nilov, the star of the nineties and noughties, captain larin of the tv series street of broken lanterns opera, chronicle of the combat department. i am a craftsman, i have

acting skills, dad often devalues ​​what he does, despite his great professionalism, it would seem that the actor's life was a success, but great popularity had its downside, his first wife left him because he drank, the second because he drank a lot, the third because he drank even more, our exclusive today alexey nilov, his career was disrupted after chernobyl, so at night on alarm, they packed him up and threw him into chernobyl, now they're saying something.

the premiere is on saturday on the first, you're watching a special edition of the triggers podcast, and today we're talking about abusive relationships, about the violence that occurs in families with child, and how to cope with it, your brothers and sisters who lived with you in this family, how much younger are they than you, they also witnessed all of this, as i understand it. yes, of course, one is 12 years younger than me, the second is 11 and the girl is only 3 years old, well, that is, she could have been more or less a witness to all of this, and was, judging by everything, yes, i even partially, you could say, used her involved in this story, because, especially after the lock was cut out of the door in my room, i ... simply lured her to me slept with her

in one bed, did it stop him, how to say, entering your bedroom? a little, he in any case caught the moments, and i had to live very cautiously, because the bathroom door could open at any moment, so i chose such moments when i knew, for example, he would definitely not come home for 15 minutes. and how were the relationships in the family in general, your brothers, sister, what kind of relationship did they have with you, with your parents, i had a rather cool relationship, because - in the story with the brothers with my sister, well, children are still very sensitive creatures, they understood very early that everything can be blamed on me, someone broke a vase. i did it - a lot of

punishments that i received, well , for no reason, in connection with the blame placed on me, and this of course did not make us closer, today you communicate with them, i do not communicate with anyone, yeah, okay, in theory, here you are 12, he pesters you, scares you, he ...

went and did not intend to, this is understandable, but tell me, as if by intimidation, obviously it was not possible to get it, did he try you somehow bribe, money, candy, gifts, no, no, i didn't try to bribe, uh... he just got angrier, used more physical violence against me, yeah, that is, he beat you, yeah, and you decided that you would never do that, and waited for an opportunity to seize the moment to escape from this, how did you end up leaving, where did i finally leave, i was 17 years old, one of my classmates' mothers was a market trader, a money changer...

because even when i started living with my husband for a very long time i couldn't let go of this situation, i slept poorly, quite it was to touch me slightly, i jumped up, i jumped up, what happened, where am i, who am i, yeah, plus disturbing dreams, i woke up in tears very often, i dreamed about my childhood, i dreamed... that he opened the door to my bedroom, i woke up crying, for about 40 minutes i couldn't calm down, yes, he died, about 8 years ago, probably, in a funeral, no, i did n't want to go, no, i didn't want to see him dead, no, i think that you repeatedly

wished him dead, yes, that's why i'm asking why you didn't go to the funeral, i didn't want to see, didn't want to see my aunt, didn't even want to listen to her. i just don't have love and gratitude for her, they say that - not the mother who gave birth but the one who raised, i can safely argue with this statement, and for me she is a person who, well, deprived me of childhood, deprived me of happiness, ruined my life, i very often think that well, maybe it would have been better for me in my grandfather's house. unknown, unknown, unknown, but i got what i got, i don't want to see her, i don't want to communicate with her, this is the only fact, which we have, really, this is the kind of childhood, it is terrible, i am afraid to even imagine what it was like, but it is the only one, we have no other history,

an attempt to rewrite history will not end well, and if we want to heal ourselves so that in the future we have some other results, a different life, we need to be able to accept this. in order to accept this, we need evgenia, who is more than this story, often in psychotherapy some are used, for example, fairy tale therapy, when we tell a fairy tale about how this girl lived, lived like cinderella, and then became, for example, happy, yes, you also need to be able to tell such a fairy tale, and often there are, for example, methods when we talk about how you learned something, for example, as a result of this, but you still need to accept it, and for this you need to understand who i am, who is greater than that girl, if i assume, just imagine, you are in some room, let it be a morgue, yeah, where he lies dead, eh,

there is no one, would you like to see this, probably not, why is it disgusting, that's even the idea that i... i didn't forgive, i didn't let go, they talk about the power of spiritual healing, about how you can't carry grievances, but i can't forgive him, look, it's really almost impossible to forgive him, but that

evgenia, who is capable of containing this story, she is capable of such forgiveness, i won't give you such recommendations now, like write a letter, i forgive you, or some method of radical forgiveness. but so that you have the life you dream of, then what? well, i would like to, i i would like to get rid of this burden, because for 30 years now, this story has been haunting me, i understand, tell me, returning to this story, did you eventually leave kislovodsk or did you leave there, do you visit kislovodsk, rarely for some? business, yes, what do you feel when you come there? i don’t

feel fear and sadness, i can definitely tell you what you feel, i really love this city, when i come there, i, well, as if i feed seva with energy, i love parks, i love these streets, i have a kind of nostalgia, you understand yes, that inside this love there is this story, it is from me... separately, i separate his personality from the city in which i lived, which i love, i understand, let's go back then, and i will ask you such a question, what was it like to be you, what feelings are there, if it were necessary to explain to a person who is not empathetic, does not know how to worry, but really wants to understand what it was like to be you, it is scary. it is scary all the time, and it is terribly painful, in what situations

now trigger situations now does a similar or the same fear and the same pain appear? well, when i, for example, am alone with a man whom i, well , see for the first time, for example, essentially with any man who is not your husband, yeah, yeah, and what scares you? what are you afraid of? the unknown, what does it consist of? the person is unfamiliar to me, unknown, i don’t know his thoughts, i don’t know his goals, yeah, that is, i look for hidden meaning everywhere, yeah, but i understand that you are lucky your husband is very delicate, very, we dated for almost 2 years before we started living together, got married for... these 2 years we haven't had any intimate relations at all, yeah, he's also patient, yeah, okay,

in the new season, on the first one, there are already rumors about this crime in the city, wherever you go , they say everywhere, women are lured into taxis, shot in the back, i wanted to ask you about your find, this knot seemed very massive, although it was easy enough to get under.

ae your forms were changing, you were already a girl, and men couldn't help but pay attention, you had to face their attention, how did you, first of all, react, when you had, perhaps, the first contact with a man, which outgrew reacted, you know, and i don’t know where i got such conviction from, but i always thought that it is impossible to evaluate one by one.

life, that is, at some point i realized that - no, such a man, there is no such guy in my circle who would be ready to see me as a person, first of all, and i just cut off this story, yeah, i received signs of attention, but these relationships did not receive

any development at all, well, it's great that you eventually found this man, or he found you? you got married and god willing, everything is good for you, the problem that is relevant today is the unwillingness, well, some kind of latent, unconscious, but the unwillingness to have a child, because this person, the bastard said this phrase that your first child will still be from me, you know, i want, i want to become a mother, i want a child. i have some internal limitations that do not let me go beyond my limits, i asked for help, i took courses twice with psychologists, yeah, but they didn't cure me of it, and what courses, i mean, what happened there, what was the methodology? i

can't name the methodology, i don't know, we talked. "we can't cope without you, zhenya, we need you here, another one, not the one who is talking to me now, and not even the one who is listening to me now, really, we need another zhenya, how can we find her, and she is there, she is right there in this story, because living in a life in which you couldn't rely on anyone, you

were able to actually raise a zhenya who saved you, will pull you out." from there, you made a decision at an age when decisions are almost never made, you found ways and tricks, and to avoid this contact, you discovered colossal wisdom there, which helped you in fact to remain a completely normal, healthy person, you did a lot, you know, i think that everything was motivated by my fear, because fear would have made you lie down with him in post'. there was a moment in my life when i well wanted to stop the further development of my life cycle, that is, you had thoughts about there to commit suicide, yes, yes, and for this i chose the balcony, yeah, yeah, but when i stood outside,

i was stopped by fear, i was stopped by fear not of it all ending. of what would start, but of what would start if i stayed alive, that i wouldn't be able to escape, that i wouldn't be able to control anything at all, that's why i'm saying, rage obviously, i can't say how it would cause his rage, but i was just afraid of that state when, well, i wouldn't be able to resist. you know, zhenya, maybe you've ever watched on tv some kind of program about the animal world? of course, and you've seen, for example, a story like this, when there's a tiger or a leopard, a lion, it doesn't matter, running after an antelope or a gazelle, there's a very dramatic moment, he runs after her,

she runs away from him, he tries to attack her, and she manages to escape, when, that... the gazelle manages to escape, she instinctively always runs into the shadows, well, to get out of the open space, she runs into the shadows, and if, well, you've seen something like this, if maybe you don't remember it, yes, then she then she stands there shaking, yeah, she's shaking not from fear, there's no fear, but there's fright, fear is only in humans, because fear is always born in the future, about what might be, she 's shaking precisely in order to release the tension that she... experienced at the moment when she was running away, when she was saving her own life, and she's shaking off the cortisol, she's shaking off the stress itself, she 's shaking off this instinct, because if she doesn't do this, she... will never come out of this shadow, she'll die, well, she'll just be stand still, because freezing, that 's it, yes, it won't let her move, and a person, he's a little different from a gazelle in

this sense, because he doesn't trust his instincts, your instinct pulled you out of there , you, in fact, there you formed the personality that pulled you out of there, but when you left there, you were even more scared than when you were there, perhaps, about which you talk and the tightness in the pelvis, most likely very strong, yes, and all this that saved then, now interferes, in

this situation you need to go only through the body, you have you ever seen belly dancing, who dance - beautiful women, so, have you ever imagined yourself in the image of a belly dancer, for me it's a strange story, why? i understand, yes, that this is again a psychological problem. but my youth, my youth, it was very constrained, that is, i did not go to the sea, did not visit the beaches, because for me it was a wild story to put on a swimsuit, i did not wear short shorts there, short skirts, when i was yes there 18-19 years old, i dressed as if i was already there 35, for example, yes and well in some degree i think... that well i missed this life, i missed all the convenient moments that would seem inconvenient to you now to imagine yourself as a belly dancer,

yes, what feelings does it evoke in you, this is , so to speak, a key lock that does not allow you to get into yourself, when i talk about another wife, i am talking about this one, who has no shame in this, who is not ashamed of her body. is not afraid of her feelings in the body, she allows all this to be, so belly dancing is in fact, as if now it is part of such a restaurant culture, let's call it that, but in fact it is a temple dance, which manifests in general, in principle , life that comes through the female body, so if you are ready, then i would definitely recommend you to go under... straight to belly dancing courses, it is very difficult, an interesting idea, it is a recipe, it is not just an idea, it is a real recipe, it is not even advice, if you want, read a wonderful book, it

is called awakening of the tiger, peter levin, in my opinion, if i remember correctly, exactly levin, in which you will directly see all these practices, because you need to go back there, to the moment when this creature is looking at you, and you are dancing, that’s where your will will arise, when you can do it, that ’s where everything else will be born, because you say where to find it, i showed you where to look for it, thank you, thank you very much, this is really a very important conversation, an important story, and this is a frequent situation, this happens, and i want our women, of course, not to be afraid of these stories, when they have already lived them, because well, we need to talk about this talk about this, we need to work, everyone will have their own way out, now we don't need everyone...

you can find the recordings of the triggers podcast on the channel one website.

dear friends, we are on air with the creative industry podcast on channel one, with you as always is its host elena kiper, producer , video director, and roman karmanov, ceo of the presidential fund for cultural initiatives, media manager, our guest is roman, we will introduce wonderful guests today who flew to us especially for the program from the sverdlovsk region. from a wonderful place called sysert, this is ilya arlov bunin and the founders of the creative cluster at the plant, creativity is new iron, yes creativenew iron, do i understand correctly that creativity is new iron is an inscription that has migrated to your clothes directly from the plant where you are trying to develop a creative cluster, absolutely

right, so we have formed such an... idea, slogan, motto, under which we are reviving an old ironworks, i think that now yana will tell you how it all is it began, and we came up with the idea that if the plant once produced iron, exported it, including to western countries, then now we will create a new alloy of creative industries, create a new creative product, that is, if i understand correctly, this is an enterprise that worked for many years, produced products, directly with metal, then it fell into decline and remained in this state for some time, and then you appeared and yes, everything came back to life, now the plant is hosting the largest festival urals, but before that, a little bit of history, it seems to me, is very important and maybe somewhere through personal history, for example, at one time, probably about 15 years ago, somewhere i got carried away in general, well, the urals there , to see, to travel, what

is valuable where, in general it turned out that... that any ural city is a former plant, the most unique thing is, in fact, this whole system became the first industrial region in the world, nowhere is one plant by itself, but where is this whole ecosystem that began to develop economy, formed a certain social structure, in general, this is a large capital, which personally infected me and many of my friends there, some of my friends and acquaintances, and of course there was a dream of some kind of plant, it is clear that industry in the urals is still developing and this is the basis of the economy, but many old plants , of course, are no longer at all suitable for metallurgical or mechanical engineering production, they are such a kind of monuments, artifacts, like, for example, the kremlin in moscow, yes, around which the city grew in its time and as in all the cities of the golden ring, also in the urals, this is the basic model, a plant is built, the city develops accordingly, so in general it seemed to us that this is very symbolic, it is very strong, this is our history, our capital, and of course, the revival of the city in general, yes it seemed very important to us, to start with the plant, only now the industry is no longer ...

and what was happening in the city at that time, what kind of life was going on? well, this is a small town of ssert, 20 thousand plus population, yes it it is not that far from yekaterinburg, but nevertheless the historical center unfortunately was such a place, well, quite dull, that 's where everything was overgrown with what is called grass, there were some holes and so on, because well, the plant lost its function, this is a problem, yes, that is, if it once made - the last thing it made was engines for sewer machines, like the little siberia and so on, so accordingly with the nineties, in general, as you understand, everything fell apart and it became an abandoned place, a dangerous object, where children are there in in general we climbed, there were some incidents, in general people tried not to go there especially, but with this rethinking, with the fact that we invited creative, inventive people, we did it very openly, and young architects came, urbanists from all over russia in

general... we started thinking, what kind of dream could there be, yes, that is, how can this plant be restarted again, so we had a mission, what is our ilya, the mission of the plant, the mission, well, in fact, we are trying to create conditions and such a platform in order to support as many dreamers, creators, rebels in the true sense of the word, in their desire to realize their best ideas, we'll talk about this later, i'd like to talk a little about the philosophy of this whole phenomenon, well, look, there was a factory. people worked there, it had a clear purpose, it manufactured products, a city arose around it, accordingly, or a settlement, an urban-type settlement, whatever, well, that is, people lived there, then it goes into decline, and accordingly, when it went into final decline, of course, some part of the population, which once worked at this plant, probably still had an inner hope that it would still continue to work for its intended purpose sooner or later, at least someday, yeah, at some point

this person notices that... the plant is standing, the abandoned place continues, but around it there is already some, some completely different movement, then he understands with horror that there will be no plant, well, in the usual sense of the word... probably no longer, that is, on the one hand you are good, on the other hand for such people, as if it were a signal of hopelessness , in general, the plant, in general , it turns out to be the end, you somehow encountered this emotion there, i’m just a novel, you say, a picture just pops up in my mind, it was, i think, last year, i’m standing near the entrance to the plant and two women of about 55 years old pass by, something like that, in general, with such a phrase, like, what kind of dancing on the bones is this, yes, that is because... there was a plant, it worked, her husband worked there, other relatives, of course, entire dynasties, and we probably talked with her for about 40 minutes, after why she hugged me and said: thank you, now i understand what is happening, because well, it is really very difficult for people, and we

met with the last director of the plant, who, when it was still a machine-building plant , well, they called him, come there, let's talk to the people who come, he says, i can't, he says, i still walk on it in my sleep, that is, of course, this is a big trauma, yes, that is, in general, well, with the collapse of the country, it is faster and, as it were, more clearly understands, with people from a small town, of course, it happens it's more complicated, here we took a very cunning, well , in our opinion, the right path, we started working with young people, that is, for example,

this year at the plant, all those who are administrators, and there, let's say, the haulers, the guys who did all the talking, these are all hearty young people, in fact we made such a big school, yes, when the guys were taught in general - teamwork, there - communication and so on. in general, this was an amazing effect, a separate project, such experience, which really shows through young people how it works, when the guys feel this and such true patriotism, yes, because why, why can you be proud of the city, it's worth a lot, when you see that people who are really local are already walking around showing, look, what do we have, of course, and what do we have, that they see local residents there, and can you figuratively imagine a picture in front of us, here was an abandoned building, it was brick, yes, these were abandoned premises with some abandoned... machines, probably, which need to be taken out, metal, how many square meters 5 hectares, almost, that is, a large territory, that is, this building, and one, relatively speaking, is 4.00 m, the second is more than ten, that is, in general, there are four buildings there,

a large, large complex, and what and now this stage, what does it represent, well, imagine that you enter the territory, you go down, because the plant is located under the dam in the lowland and on the territory that we are reviving, there are two old workshops, one of them is a monument of federal significance, a very postcard-like, beautiful blast furnace workshop from the middle of the 19th century, inside it is completely empty, there is no no cars anymore, and there is a second , smaller workshop, the morten workshop, and also empty inside, and we started working with the territory around these workshops, because well, the facilities are in emergency situations, somewhere unsafe, at first we just worked with the territory between them, we cleaned up the garbage. we built some objects from scrap materials, there from wood, somewhere we put a stage, between these workshops we created such a main point of attraction, somewhere we laid a lawn, you

probably had to get a lot of permits, let me just add a little bit like this colorfulness and brightness, yes, that is, when we made the first one, like a guiding star, actually such an architectural project, a vision of how it could be, one problem arose, it all cost about 2 billion rubles , times cheaper than what we have, somewhere to call caring people, to contact funds, and we have, thank god, in russia a very powerful system of support for beginning projects, such as the presidential grants fund, of course, the cultural initiatives fund,

and thanks to such broad support, it is clear that our involvement, the team, the community, the plant began to come to life, and even despite the fact that somewhere there are still not enough walls, this community, like a creative cluster, it already exists, it is very powerful, projects are being born, it is actually a nascent plant has given birth to many projects, as they say along the way, some service businesses, like coffee, pizzerias, there were about ten of them, these are businesses of young guys from... somewhere else, an opera troupe has been born here and not just one at the plant, well, in general there are so many different stories, even now he went to st. petersburg to perform or right now we are here, there is an art residency at the plant, yes, that is, even even such a thing is already quite cool, and where there is an auto residency, well, the first warm space is already appearing, which... is important, but lena meant, apparently, the question was about

what, who let them in at all, it is clear that this is always some kind of coincidence, in principle, the owner of the plant, he himself is a creative person, of course, this is private the owner of this, well, in fact, there was fragmented property, now it has changed a little there, but in general , that main part where everything happens, it was private property in principle, a person bought it at one time, maybe just for a film set, think about something else, well , some crisis moments there and so on, in general , unfortunately, it did not work out to do this. in many ways, that is, we have very friendly relations with the city, yes, because some moments, especially when you start, of course, well, it is not easy to set everything up there right away some norms or other things, but to try to do all this at the next stage, well, what is called humanly very important, but in fact it is very cool that this initiative. as if it is moving and the most valuable thing seems not that someone took

an old plant there and found a new function in it, probably many people do this, although this is also wonderful, but it seems that the main such thing as a trick of what is happening is that it is happening very jointly, very complicitly, and this project will not be yan's project, ilya's project or the foundation's project cultural initiatives, it becomes a project for the whole city, hundreds and thousands of people consider it their own, it's very cool, it's very strong, in general it leads to many, many different effects. up to the point that now billion-dollar investments are coming to the city, although before there was a budget for the historical center of 50 million to gold the pits and that wasn't enough, now there are serious investments and networks and houses there and in general, it specialists think they moved their offices here, in general, all this is slowly starting to emerge, not so just like of course i would like to, but the effect is amazing, it really gives a lot of strength, a lot of energy, eh, probably, community production is applicable here, in general it seems to us that what we do is...

and others, we have a lot of teams traveling, not only me, not only ilya, but probably there are already three, four or five people, our mayor is very cool, in general, it is like a very team work, in general development, well, cities yes, that is, the development of any ecosystem project, this is certainly teamwork, we have a well-established work with funds, yes, that is , we also see great support in this, moreover, we are now actually becoming such a mini-fund ourselves, we are already helping, for example , we have a project called accomplices, which helps these city initiatives to also get resources. from local businesses, somewhere from locals, well, just people there

to help, somewhere there with their hands in volunteering, somewhere from some fund, and this system begins to grow and become sustainable, this is the main idea what is happening with us, and of course we want to tell about it very much, share it, that is why we are here today, it is incredibly beautiful, very mystical, but risky, but there are simply no other people, nothing like that, we want no one to interfere with us. we want to do it with your hands, if these are the people i think, they have eyes everywhere, throw in evgenievich boyko, essentially the gray cardinal, very soon you will be rewarded according to your merits, if i find out that you have traded me for someone, i will curse you, from scratch hours of july 26, the banknotes of the above denominations will be considered withdrawn from circulation, an interesting proposal, interesting for a man. what could be better for a woman, we will play ninel - the premiere

of a multi-part film, tomorrow on the first , we continue the conversation, a podcast of the creative industry on the first channel, our guests are ilya arlov budin and yan kozhin, and what is your education, basic, mine, i generally graduated from matmek, that's initially, and i am a journalist. i ask about education, because it seems, yes, that creative industry - what is it all the time creators, creators, as you know, belongs to the winged phrase shnurnov.

unfortunately, very often only the tip of the iceberg is visible, yes, here are the people there, in general, some kind of carnival is going on, it seems to everyone that let's just hold a carnival, we are still trying, well, firstly, we believe that according to the franchise in such a crude copying it is not very suitable, because it seems to us that the strength of the projects appears when you take into account such a cultural landscape, yes, for example, here there were factories, there was something else here, this is very

important, and accordingly, the second point is the involvement of people, when you do this with people, due to this the city is reborn, why, these are the same investors, they are... it seems to me that a certain turning point is already happening, right now we have a law on creative industries appearing, we had a forum here in yekaterinburg and we talked with the head of tyumen and the head of perm, they already have up to there 1/5 of the city's economy, of course, these are creative industries, but what here they really understand it, that is, it is clear that they understand these

issues, that they did not just learn about it yesterday, but tried something, did something, but it seems to me that if we talk about direct things, then maybe ilya was talking about porcelain , that's what i wanted to throw over. here they started and you see that a person is bored, because well, well, what kind of money can you earn with christmas tree decorations, ceramics and so on, that is, people are used to thinking , so to speak, in some big categories, which prevent them from perceiving this information without internal criticism and somehow delving into it, although it is already a creative industry. about 5% of gdp, actually. how does it work? firstly, the first thought is that it is probably some kind of puzzle, and mm, it should consist of specific examples, of course, if you take one specific small plant there.