again federica with his irony, he said: "don't you think, tanya, that he looks like a prussian officer of the first world war, i immediately was andrei in the cast and really, well, it's all the moustache, well, of course, the moustache, this tension in andrei's face is always there, although in italy, he began to smile, i saw him sighing like that for the first time, and that was the connection." very strong italian cinema, soviet cinema, and it seemed that it would never break, that was the impression, there was a lot in common, because in the russian character and in italian, there is a lot in common, and i still have to tell you, a lot of people come to my house, excursions and everything, they speak out loud, sometimes turning around, they say:

academicians, where the piano stood, paintings hung , everything, and the italians came, and inochka told me, lorochka, break your ban, given to you yourself, you work in cinema, when will you see antonione again in your life, i warmed up, thought, said, when will i see antonione again in my life, i decided to go, that's how our first meeting took place, but you say that...

buried them all, but they are alive, when you started communicating with tanina, yes, he briefly listed his filmography, and you were like, and i watched this film, and i watched this one, and this is also you, no, how was it, tanina wrote in his life - officially it will be counted, he wrote more, because sometimes in tetras it is 120 films, here he worked completely... italian and not only

cinematography, and as they said, his mind ran like a red thread through the entire cinema, when he was asked how he could work with different directors, he laughingly said, everyone takes from me, what he needs, so i try to help somehow, he emphasized when i saw the letters to federico, which i am now for the first time... i will publish, of course, here in my memoirs, here - where he writes: miokara tonino, my dear tonino, read amarcord, read this scene, laughed, well there is a lot, bravo, piclo tanina, well done, my little one, i asked, taninochka, well it was you who wrote the whole script, he says, yes, but it does not matter at all, because if federico had not invented the sea of ​​plastic. if rex had not been drawn

stenya, it then dragged on, if he hadn't taken all these characters, it would have been a cute school story of ours in general, everything, because they... under the nickname gandhi was embarrassed to undress on the beach, when the remenesans came to sant'arcangelo, and sant'arcangelo is a smaller town, they entered and threw themselves on the bar, is that a restroom, a fight began, so maybe...

a week of italian cinema, you had a desire to get in, to see live on these, i'm not only, i worked at festivals, i worked in '63, they sent atmosfilm to work, it was life, it was happiness to watch these films, to watch these actors, that is, you had the opportunity to see much more than the average viewer, in fact, i worked in cinema, of course, well, how did you come to musfilm, how did you start working in cinema, where did that come from?

"i think that russia and its wonderful people helped us, stanina in our common interests, in our common life, and i want to say that the friendship with georgy nikolaevich danelia was very

strong, very strong until the very end, and even i remember such an episode, animation of that very strong, incredible, poetic, which was nowhere in the world, and it was happiness, here is the lion with a gray beard, which will now be shown in the second-rate films, which are shown from time to time, one of

the best films from my point of view andrei yuryevich, there are wonderful, brilliant drawings by sergei barkhin, remarkable, and there he preserved... tanin's voice, the only film where he sings, tanin's former voice has a very good ear, and so he sings there and sattar and asiliani and with all the cinematography georgian, of course, because we went to georgia too, and well with all the directors, and also, of course, with elem and larisa shepitka at the stupid time, well, i'm telling you that it was mutual enrichment, they were our guests, it was the period of the rise of both the sixties and the italian... so we, like a bridge, connected this and it was happiness, i

will think that there was a mission in this, the film that you mentioned already in our conversation, which is another project that did not take place, the project of antonioni, tannin, ae about the paper snake, do i remember correctly, it was you who said, what kind of story was it, oh, brilliant? night, you understand, yes, that is, samarkand, tkhivar, bukhara, the same tashkent, they were so impressed, and we, of course, went there with rustam khamdamov, and whom antonionni immediately invited to be an artist on his painting, he took care of us. khamraev, who tried very hard, so that he tried so hard that when he treated

antonion to pilaf, he, as is proper, for honored guests, took a piece with his hand and began to offer michelangelo's cardboard, he pulled away in fright, he did not expect that this was for the guest of honor, well then of course everyone laughed, here is the story, it is a secret, and tanin ger said: he has a lot of maxims, you know, such sayings, i really love this maxim, this maxim is such, a secret, the darkness of the secret illuminates us, think about it, it is very cool, here it is in the aquilon or paper kite, because boys launch paper kites on the edge in the desert. everything around the ula, then a hurricane, a sandstorm, everything breaks, only one

remains, he holds this rope, not this very thing remains, all the auls, all the surrounding these, i start to tie a cord, because it pulls pulls somewhere there, where the secret has not yet been revealed, all the carpets, sweaters, camels, as antonioni said, must push huge skeins, a giant multi-colored one. like a desert, it was very beautiful, it should have been, all this, until the cord breaks somewhere there, and it begins to descend to envelop everything, these begin again, but there the story is that this aquelune went there, went beyond the earth, and apparently he wants to find a planet where there will be new life. this is the story, the fairy tale, wonderful, about the secret, about

inexplicable miracle, why it didn't happen, why it didn't work out, unfortunately, michelangelo was offered not for censorship reasons, but they offered to do the editing in russia, she refused it, it would have been unusual and impossible for him.

"you see, plowed land is the same everywhere, and at that moment i was in russia, andrey said, he just wanted to work in the west. wrote to the state cinema, since he was offered the moment of the end of nostalgia, he was offered to do boris gadunov's coven garden, well, who would refuse, guys, well, this is, and he is very well staged, still remembered very much, he wrote to the state cinema, to allow him to stay,

to continue working, because once he told me, you know, "i said everything in russia, even if i only made five films, i want to talk to the world and, unfortunately , they told him that nostalgia, come back, and he, with his character felt like a serf, that same composer grizovsky, from nostalgia, and he said: "no, i will stay where i am invited, and if i take." tanin's films, these are the ones you rewatch most often, if you are re-watching them now, or you remember them so well that in general you can quote from any place, you know, sometimes, sometimes, just any film that suddenly comes into my field of vision, so i watch it and can't tear myself away, on

tonino's anniversaries, we always do a small retrospective of films in our museum, a place for the soul. they don't know, when schools come to me, i ask, tell, i ask afilina, who, who is trobka there at the end, an artist, they are here, they are, here they are, they are romanyolians, they are live, the amazing felline museum has been created, in the malotesta castle, as it should be, and

what about the films with orentino, for example, or also secondary. gives us this feeling of connection between generations of cinema, the feeling that we are present among geniuses, we talked about the centenary of marcelloni, about the ninetieth anniversary, perhaps a little more, of sophia lorran, we talked about the film sunflowers, in which they both played, which was filmed including in moscow, we talked

about tanin guera, talked about all this with laura guera, to whom we are extremely grateful for that, that... you talked to us about this, thanks to you, i remember those times with joy, thank you very much, thank you, it was a podcast of witnesses from einstein and its leading film historians natalia ryabshchikova and stanislav didinsky. this is a psyche podcast, and we continue to sort out our boxes of troubles, problems, failures, or simply ignorance of how to behave in a given situation. our heroine today, a young, beautiful, outwardly self-confident girl, in fact cannot say no, she cannot put boundaries, so very often, as it seems to her, she loses, well, in the most simple everyday

conflicts. in any case, this is how the situation looks from her point of view. hello, anna. hello, psychologist olga gelman is with us today, and we will try to discuss this situation of yours, these stereotypes of yours or maybe the wrong algorithm so that you ultimately feel good, confident and happy. so what is happening - what are the difficulties you have with setting boundaries to say, no, i i don't want that. my difficulty is that i don't know how to behave in conflict situations, i just don't know how to fight back, i have this problem since childhood, that is, when some aggression or pressure comes my way, i just shrink, that is, i generally run away, yes or... i just shrink like that and i take the position of a victim and the aggressor sees this and attacks even more, and if i try to somehow defend myself, it turns out badly and it gets even worse.

can you give me some examples, well such real cases from your life, when you, as it seems to you, behaved not very effectively. well, for example, i lived in a communal apartment with neighbors, they were, well, this is a big test, yes, they were angry, everything started from the beginning, they did not know me, they ... felt me, they made everyday comments about every little thing, about each there, for example, what comments, there i did not remove the plate from the common table, i did not clean the unicaza in line, i did not even have any major mistakes, that is, for example, hair mine is lying around somewhere, that is, i just had a hair fall out and it was lying somewhere there and she has your hair, or why is your washing machine working loudly, or the most damning thing was that your kettle is ruining your look, these comments were becoming more and more gradually. there was one neighbor who made a comment, another was just very impudent, she never cleaned up, she just spent whole hours in the bathroom, that is, i

wanted to go to the bathroom, but i had to wait 2 hours, because she was there i just didn’t i know what she was doing there, and what feelings you have when all this happens to you, even now you remember this situation, and some feeling, yes what, well, i feel confusion, sadness, well, for example, when when no, confusion, sadness or are you angry? well, at that moment you tell, even now you are angry at that moment i was angry, yes, for example, when she was already completely violating the boundaries, for example, she sits there for 2 hours in this bathroom, i timidly knock on her door after 2 hours, that is, i wait and wait, then i knocked, and she came out and started attacking me, why are you knocking, are you crazy, what are you doing, as if it’s my fault, the anger is growing, but you restrain yourself, you are restraining yourself now, yes, you are even telling a very emotional story, great, you are restraining yourself, and... you come up to this door and are still trying to politely ask her to leave the bathroom, yes, but she, you are not being aggressive, but she is aggressive,

she is aggressive, yes, there was such a situation with the bathroom, and there was also a situation with the garbage, she is very sloppy, there was a lot of garbage from her, we had a common trash can, 90 percent of the trash was from her, but she never took it out, i took it out all the time, it was easier for me to take it out myself all the time than to make a remark, it’s very difficult for me to make a remark at all. it’s uncomfortable, it’s easier for me to just keep quiet, be patient, resign myself, so sometimes i scold myself for this, then, when the moment comes when i finally make a remark, this already becomes the norm for a person, that i endure everything, keep quiet, and he begins to be indignant, what the hell are you suddenly you make a remark, i was always silent, because the person didn’t understand it, you understand, he didn’t expect it from me, that is, but he doesn’t, he gets completely used to, so to speak , the good, for him it’s good that they keep silent, they tolerate everything, and then, when finally i ca n’t stand it anymore. they start to be so sincerely surprised, and why don’t you keep silent any longer? in childhood too, yes, it was like that, because all behavior strategies are laid down in childhood, yeah, yeah, i didn’t know how to fight back against children,

it was like that too, for example, remember some situation, well, by the pigtails, i don’t know, they were pulling something in the party, they reacted in all sorts of ways, well, i was just upset, i cried and that’s it, that is, i didn’t know how to fight back at all, and why you didn’t know how to fight back, that’s a good question, i’m interested in this myself, it’s just that olga and i will figure this out now. it so happened that you learned to react this way, we learn this, and as a child this strategy was the one that brought you security, and if in adulthood some alternative strategy is not offered, then it will always be work basic one, which in childhood was recorded as successful, because once you experienced some stress, and it was a successful strategy, yes i can. with me and in all situations she intervened, that is, if

someone offended me, she herself went to sort it out, she also liked to transfer me to a new team, that is, when somewhere something went wrong, she says: so that's it, we're changing schools, that is, olga, it turns out that when anya was still a child, her parents, well, probably her mother based on ...

that i was simply afraid to leave the room extra once, this is not, and you didn’t immediately agree on some rules, that’s how it was, i just want, olga, you know, to look at this whole situation now from the very beginning, yeah, so you come to this communal apartment, yeah, these girls are already living there, as i understand it, well, one woman lived there, the second one who didn’t clean the bathroom was sitting, she moved in later, and she moved in later, okay, that is, you came, this woman lives there, and you, in general, came to someone else’s monastery, although formally you have of course the same rights as this woman, yeah, yeah, but she said that she was the boss here, because i was renting, she was the owner of her room, so she apparently perceived us as if we were walking around her apartment, well, that's understandable, but how did you feel when you came from the very beginning, what was your attitude, well, i'm generally friendly to people, i had

a neutral attitude, that is, i... i don't make any noise at all, i don't throw trash around, that is, i'm neat in everyday life, that is, i can throw some little things somewhere, some dust, not wipe, but this is a very small thing, but in general i, well you expected that they would do the same as you, they would - behave neatly like you, right, but they turned out to be different, well yes, i am not demanding at all in everyday life, for example, this woman, who, well, she was already so elderly, she was fixated on cleaning, she was always making all sorts of such household remarks. and how did you end up in this communal apartment? did you move out from your mother? and i moved out from my husband, got divorced, did you move out from your husband? yeah, right i also lived in communal apartments before, i lived in a dorm before that and lived in many places with my mother as a child or what? as a child i lived with my parents, then at 18 i moved to a dorm since then i well that is, you are such an experienced inhabitant of places, so to speak, of public use, well yes, yes and

that is, and before that you did not have conflicts. there were too, before that i also lived in communal apartments, but there were different neighbors, some were better, some were worse, in general it was tolerable, i understand correctly, the feeling that you are going through such an experience, how should you be in different teams, do you fit into these teams or not, in childhood your mother showed you that in conflicts you can run away, yeah, you grew up and you are like now in conflicts, you also run away from, why in different communal apartments, you leave them all there, but in fact, here... i moved because i got married, and then they just drove me out of that one, there were already scandals to threats, that is, it was very direct physical threats, there was a direct physical threat, there was a conflict, but just at some point i couldn't take it anymore, i just exploded, there was a real scandal, well i endured, endured for many months, and then when it happened and what was it, what kind of scandal was it? well, to tell you it was because of the trash, well , when i wrote a note, please take out

the trash. i thought, i'm a good girl, i wrote it to her very politely, carefully, then there's a knock on my door, and i open it, she screams from the doorway, why are you telling me what to do, and you, well i told her, well what are you doing, have you really become completely insolent, that's how they told her, or it was different, i don’t remember how exactly i told her, but i told her, or did you also give up, well, i was already angry, i was so fed up, i said, well, you were already yelling, i even swung at her like this a little, you even swung, because i was very... angry that i had been silent for so long, i had been silent all this time, so i suddenly exploded, that is, all this accumulated anger spilled out, yes, i swung, i said, oh you, she immediately started yelling, screaming, she called her mistress, it was in the evening, i think, around 12 o’clock, she immediately, and help, she's violent, just like that, she started calling me, threatening that she'll throw me out on the street, now i

'm listening to you and i understand that you live in some kind of thriller, in some kind of just accumulation, concentration of horrors, some kind of bad people, evil, negatively disposed towards you, you are quite toxic, as they are precise, yes, as it is now customary for young people to say, i got the feeling, olga, that our heroine, you're probably right, from childhood, from some circumstances, emerged as a person who initially by...

the heroine anna thinks that she doesn't know how to say no, is that really true? the only thing, olga, i want to ask you, because there is such a traditional order.

that is, i don't see that she doesn't know how to say no, she knows how to say no, she just hasn't realized yet how easily you will gain awareness about yourself now, what you really want to go through. the experience of how you will emerge victorious from this struggle, because her mother didn't let her win as a child, didn't, didn't let her decide this, yes, she definitely doesn't inside in her subconscious wants like mom, someday, if we dive in now, you dive into some childhood story that you will remember, you will remember somewhere there, what decision you made there, we from decisions later, it seems like we made them in childhood, but up to 7 years old there is generally no particularly critical thinking, yeah. we just make some decisions, draw conclusions, and since the child's psyche comes out of some stressful situations, and all this is recorded in the database, then it automatically becomes a reaction, if not from the awareness of an adult person, you don't give other reactions,

you say, no, i won't do this now , i'll do it differently, then the basic one will always work, the basic one is what, the conflict grows, grows, grows, then you speak out and leave, it grows, grows, you speak out and leave with your husband. it was the same with my husband, thank god, there were no conflicts, that is, in life i'm not a conflict person, well, that's a separate story, i left him because i realized that well, i don't love him, i don't see a future with him, this is a person who says that he doesn't know how to say no, yes, that is, she realized that she did not love her husband, and this is this act, when you said: no, i do not want to live with a person whom i do not love, realized that i do not love, made a decision that... i am leaving, it was very difficult for me to do this, i went to a psychologist just then to make this decision, but you said, it turns out, no, well, this attempt to say no lasted for several months, yeah, that is, he did not want to let me go for a long time, and

some part of yourself inside yourself you seem to not accept, this part of you, which also can say no sharply and boldly, also be aggressive, you decided that this part of yourself is wrong , you suppress this part. and then, when you can no longer suppress it, it breaks out and you even wave your hand, you get angry, yes, well, there is nothing wrong with anger, in fact, it is a very such feeling that gives energy to move forward, make new decisions and go somewhere further, yeah, well, look, it turns out that our heroine, as we have now figured out, yes, she can say no, does it quite harshly, harshly, aggressively, and although... anina, we complain about the aggression of others, in fact, she pays exactly the same coin, exactly the same aggression, and because it's a mirror, yes, and because it's a mirror, but there are probably ways in the world invented by people to say no and

set boundaries, without falling into this anger and rage, it's not even anger, but it's rage, you understand, when she swings, it's already rage, when she writes this note, please tell me, how did you write in text, once again in that note, i wrote... to you, of course, and maybe raise your visor when you enter that very new team, this anger, you seem to, any feeling that we have, it always has two sides.