this is something, yes, by the way, i am very happy, pleased with myself, proud of myself, that i grew up a kind person, i love people, i trust the world, that is, i have no problems with this, thank god, you definitely trust the world, definitely 100%, on the contrary, even many people are surprised how i trust the world, i have no fears at all, by default i love people until they prove otherwise, that is , and do you love people as you imagine them? ideal, yes, probably not, i just love people, in principle, with everyone their shortcomings, with the fact that she is in the bathroom for 2 hours with her long hair, yes, i wanted to be friends with her, i offered her friendship many times, she herself did not want to communicate with me, i did not even know how to communicate with her, she did not support the conversation, she could say something, yes, no, everything, and you accepted that she could be in the bathroom for 2 hours and wash her hair, i did not like it, i tolerated it, but sometimes i knocked, but you love people, yes i do. but she is like that, well, i had to

go to the bathroom, and talk, say her name girl? dasha, let me tell you, dash, listen, when is it convenient for you to take a bath, can i first, come on, maybe i'll wash myself quickly, and then you, as much as you need, yeah, well it was just or would it have been a defeat for you, it wasn't a defeat, it's just that she, well she was already there, she was already there constantly, it seems to me that she spent most of the day there, that is, uh... the fact that i'm getting ready to go there, she's already sitting there, so i am accordingly, and why are you getting ready to go there when she's sitting there, exactly then, well, because that she spent a lot of time there, and it often happened that, well, on the contrary, i had little time at home, accordingly, so i came home at some point, yeah, and for her maybe it was like that, only i went to the bathroom, i don’t know, it took a long time to dry my hair, when anya came again, at that very moment to start pounding, yeah. no, that rarely happened,

exactly, it was usually easier for me to wait, well, by the way, i didn’t like it either, i was a little offended by the fact that my mistress, i had a good relationship with her, she was kind, understanding, but then she also told me that you, she made a claim to me that why i make a remark to dasha, she says to shut up with your substitutions, i asked her why i should be silent with my comments, i can’t even go to the bathroom. this is a podcast psyche our heroine today anna thinks that she doesn’t know how to say no, is that really true? olga, let’s try to analyze this specific situation, because it seems to me that everything that happens to anna before this communal apartment, after all the same it will be roughly the same scenario, well yes, the scenario is from childhood, now this is how you need to behave. in fact, even if we look at anya now, anya has relaxed now when she talks about this. she

knows for sure that her position is correct, no, she raises her index finger to us, yes, a dominant position, yes, i know how to do it right, i speak correctly, they speak incorrectly, you are correct, why are you telling me this, my word is the last, my word is better, i have decided for myself, i am a good person, and you, well, so to speak, prove it me that you are good people, you said that if they do not show that back, then it seems like they show themselves. on the other hand, yeah, yeah, but in fact, in order to build communication with someone, you need to remove the barrier, remove the dominant position, otherwise, as if you are in the role of a teacher, i know, how good, i will teach you how to behave here correctly, no, there is no such thing, this is you do not say this, but this is the message, is it just me, it seems to me, on the contrary, this is not at all typical for me, okay, dasha does not want to get out of the bath when someone else needs it, dasha doesn't want to take out

the trash, she doesn't want to, it's her right, it's her life, she doesn't want to take out the trash, you didn't initially agree on a trash takeout schedule, each of you has your own concept, each of you has your own truth of life in this situation, and you didn't agree on who will wash when and for how much? well, it seems to me that it's obvious that if you live in a communal apartment, then sitting in a shared bathroom all day long without a break is not very good, well, in my opinion, it's just obvious and it seemed to me that it should be obvious to everyone it's obvious to you that's it. it's obvious to you, you need to learn to negotiate, it's very simple, just negotiate, look, those decisions that you saw how your parents decided, they decided them when they endured, endured, then a conflict happened, this model was recorded, you do it similarly, but if you're not a mother, you're not a father, you, it's you, and you can choose not to do it like they do, and this is your conscious adult choice, that and i don't want

to conflict like that anymore, because i know that this i also have the energy of anger, it is very strong, in fact, this energy can advance you up the career ladder everywhere, but only if you don’t... we like to play board games, we have such a hobby, we get together every friday to play, when i play, my energy of anger, my friends and i play very furiously, fiercely, i like to beat everyone in these games, sometimes, when one of my friends does something nasty to me in the game, i get really angry, i scream, but it’s not toxic, there’s nastiness in the game, well in the game, but in board games there is a fight, there we can kill each other, somehow, that is, this energy is not realized in life, it is realized in such a somehow incorrect way, where else can you apply this, because first of all it is also the energy

of movement, how much sport exists in your life to realize that you, yes, i don’t like sports, well, sports are such a metaphor, well , you can work out with a punching bag. oh, by the way, i don’t have such a desire, i’ve never had it at all, well, it means something else for you, where there is a release of these emotions, creativity, what kind of creativity? i keep a blog, i write different articles, stories, i write books, evil, accusatory, no, kind, no, well, i write philosophical and also about emotions, and so i also read freestyle rap, i participate in rap battles, this suits you, yes, this is where you all express, i like this very atmosphere of struggle, and that is where you need to concentrate, anechka, please tell me, this is how i understand it, that if dasha stopped sitting in the bathroom for 2 hours straight, yes, and if i had submitted to your worldview and spent my usual hour and took out the trash regularly, you would have felt like satisfied winners, of course, and if you had come

home with a cake, said girls, let's go have some tea, yeah, let's get acquainted. i wanted to ask, let's, how is it better for me, how is it better for us to take the bath, yes, i need to somehow warn you there, yes, let's say that i need to wash my hair, i'll sit in the bath for an hour and a half, or like you, what kind of us can we be obligations, kitchen duties we will distribute, would it be a bit of humiliation for you, or on the contrary, you are so mature and great, and you offer some kind of correct manager. plan, or would it still be awkward for you? for me it would not be humiliation, but for me it would be some kind of tension, it is stress for me, for some reason, that is, to discuss, to ask - it is stress, to knock on the bathtub and write notes - it is not stress, it is also stress, i hoped

that it would not come to this, you hoped that they themselves would simply somehow understand you, what you want, how do you like it, that they will silently understand you, but it is not so, they will teleport, well yes, no, well i somehow well that's me... they don't read to yours, alas, alas, or maybe it's good, well yes, i just already told her that she sits in the bathroom for a long time, this is for me, but she did not sit there less, it's just that no one hears complaints, if you make complaints to someone, the person immediately puts a block and does not want to hear, it's another matter when you agree in advance, it's different, for example, we have - agreements, how someone drives cars, on the roads, if someone if he leaves and drives incorrectly, there will be accidents, we have agreed on what the rules are on the roads. and we follow them, and there are world rules, and in everyday life you can definitely agree, three strangers live in an apartment, you don’t know each other at all, you will have to agree in advance, because each of you has your own habits, yeah, perhaps, yes, this was our common mistake, because in the previous communal apartment where i lived, there was

a strict schedule of duty, but here it was not, here this schedule was especially important to no one not needed, that is , this elderly woman mainly cleaned, yeah, i cleaned for... dasha didn't clean at all, she's just a garbage woman, that's where you get this from, that at first you tolerate it, why right away, well , because you didn't agree right away, and then you start to tolerate it in the hope that someone will understand that you do more of the tasks that should have been distributed among everyone, well , probably, because i judge by myself, i thought that she also has a conscience, that she understands obvious things, well, just in my opinion look these were obvious things, there is definitely a conscience there, it's just not obvious to her. it's obvious to you, well i just hinted to her that she was sitting for a long time, i naturally didn't pounce right away, what are you sitting for, hinted to her, said, dash, you wash yourself for a very long time, you know, in psychology there is such a rule,

it is very often recommended in various psychological practices, to speak from the i position, yeah, i know, let's try, yes, even, let's try. it turns out that our heroine, she kind of deviated from this rule altogether, let's let's try to play this situation out retrospectively now, talk to dasha from this position. well, say, even, i often have to wait a very long time in line for the bathroom, i usually wash myself in the evenings, and sometimes , for example, i have to go to bed later because of this and then not get enough sleep, no, he doesn't even hear this at all , no, that won't do, the next one, although it seems to me, has already gotten better, well, tell me about what you feel, even, i often have to wait a very long time in line for the bathroom, sometimes it bothers me, because because of this, plans fall apart when i wait for a very long time, i can be late somewhere or...