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>> that was a clip from debbie lum's documentary, seeking asian female, it may be considered a positive, but others say it's not welcome calling it a fetish. how harmful is it for asian americans to deal with this stereotype? >> growing up in the united states or anywhere else in the west, it's really impossible to not encounter someone who has asian fever or yellow fetish. it gets under the skin of us asian women and men. love should not be dependent on the color of your skin. yet some people are honing in on one race over any other races. and also it affects people outside who are not asian women who wonder why asian women in that new study get the most attention online?

and so, you know, that's one part of it. >> jenny, you know this must be very confusing to young asian women. >> oh yeah, of course. i mean here's the problem with this whole idea that asian women being desirable should be a good thing. i love that i can get a date. that's great, right? but the problem is, in the end i want to be loved for me as a whole person, right? and most people want that. but the problem is my round chinese face we're one fifth of the world population but it might be a mask if you are loving me if you have this fantasy of about who i'm supposed to be. >> is there some kind of internal conversation within the asian female community, when you go out on a date with someone not of this community, do you think this guy last yellow fever or? >> i got a little internal checklist a few questions just to make sure. >> what is it? >> it depends.

i grew up in southern california. even if i'm dating a latino guy, what are the types of girls you dated in the past, if the first answer they council up with, oh yeah, asians, that is a red flag. san gabriel valley, this one guy i dated, he said i grew up in alhambra. okay, you might have more of an exposure to us as human beings rather than a stereotype on full metal jacket or something. >> a lot of the men have been tweeting with the hashtag, not your asian side kick. i believe men have a role, i don't have enough information to know the cause but all men should help in this movement. sean says, constructively undoing patriarchy on men. while maintaining the focus on the needs of asian american women as the primary conversation.

matthew i want to go to you with this. do men have a space and a role in this conversation? i know sui has an opinion. want to go to you first. >> you want me first? i don't believe in enpowerment that some people are disempowered. i think we all have to take an active voice in trying to change things and that it's -- i don't know if i believe that you can change a stereotype just by aiming at that stereotype, aiming a target on -- putting a target on one stereotype and putting the pressure on from one group of people. you kind of have to change the entire idea that you can look at a person and know who they are, right? so it's more of a general cultural phenomenon than it is a specific -- you can't change a specific thing. >> yeah, you know hey matt though it's not just asian women who are stereotyped but asian

men who deal with their own set of circumstances. sometimes these guys feeling like they have to claim or reclaim their masculinity. what about stereotypes that specifically affect asian american guys. >> they are often felt as of quiet, effeminate, you are seen automatically as someone who will follow the rules or do what your boss tells you to do. i think you know the problems that we run into, when in asian american men think you know the way to change these stereotypes is to kind of endorse a certain kind of traditional masculinity, is the idea that we're kind of conforming ourselves to fit into the system rather than trying to change the system so that we can be who we are and have that be acknowledged and celebrated and have that matter.

>> jenny i see you nodding your head. >> yeah, you know, i -- i always, it's like such a touchy issue among men and women who are asian american. because they -- there is just the sense of betrayal that i think asian men feel when women out-date, date out of the group. i want to feel like we can come to a place where we can support or asian american brothers in their masculinity without sort of reinforcing patriarchal dominate idea that they need to be hoorah alpha american dudes. >> answering to this, as a transnational and asian american, it has meant a really skewed picture of mass clint. mike says the bad guy image by hollywood suggests we're numb.

the idea of the quote, weak asia man, sui? i've seen you make lots of faces. is there a space where asian american women and men can work together to defeat these stereotypes or do you think that each have carved out their roles? >> i think my good friends here, my big concern here is we're recenterring this conversation around men and ouren own whiteness. men can also be feminists and we're supposed to support that on that journey. it subtracts entirely from the violence against women of color. it really is harmful too, it really reinforces their role of many dominant, we are reinforcing them of positive views of themselves to then be good to deal with us as asian american women. when in reality i don't think that needs to happen.

like i think that it's really unfortunate that because asian men feel hurt by white heteropatriarchy, and you know you have all this negative stereotypes about you or you have to be quiet and submissive so we feel confident in these asian american progressive spaces. so i think that's really concerning. in these conversation we have become the side kicks in conversations around white people. >> i don't know about that. these also saying we want to do our part to push these stereotypes out of the picture that affect asian american women about what i'm getting from you, you think your power is diminished somehow if a man wants to step in and help subvert these stereotypes. >> i just don't think that we need allies in these situations to step in. i think we're completely capable

of feeling our own movements and if women want to participate and do the work they can be on the sidelines and listen and take action. they don't need to be branded as the ones saving us. >> what is it going to take to flip the script on some of the these representations and can the power of the internet change these thoughts? while you wait tweet about this.

>> welcome back. we're talking about the

traction, not your asian side kick hashtag got globally. these so-called positive stereotypes, jenny, how do you move forward, how do you create positive change, we've seen what this hashtag did to open up the conversation. but it takes pop culture. you have just started an all female asian comedy troop, stand up comedy. tell me why you did that and how that can have effect on the issue. >> somebody who's not seen on a mainstream comedy club stage. we've been selling out our shows. there's a need. people want to see us entertaining ourselves. honestly i'm a comic and a writer. we're the punch line at most

comedy shows, women, men, trans-men. whether that's on a standup comedy stage online or other medium. >> our community has a lot of comments. jay said asian rear get the hot chick. break that stereotype, hashtag diversity. we asked the question, nosy is cynical. that's a resounding no. in pitch perfect, the movie, who asian americans are passive types, the other is becca, i'm assuming beck c becca is the protagonist, will not associate with becca who is the protagonist. when will the side kicks when and how will the side kicks become the protagonists of their own narrative? >> i think that will happen when we start to realize that we're

not looking for a seat at the table of white feminists and moult culturallism and simply having us on tv once a a while is not enough. so it's about deconstructing and rejecting that narrative and at the same time being really conscientious that we are not producing new dominant narratives. i get a lot of feedback saying i'm feisty. i'm saying that's not what feminists have to be. we need to be careful how we are depicting the new answered asian american. multiracial and biracial people. >> debbie, who do you look like as the stereotype shatterer that is very publicly visible? >> look here, sui park i'm so

excited to be on the show with you. >> i love your documentary! >> somebody that's broadly visible, lisa ling, there are people out there that you look to that you're saying yeah, they're really moving this forward for us. >> actually i tend to look at the comedians like aly wong and -- >> jenny yang. >> je jenni yang. >> we don't have enough role models out there actually. it's not that there aren't great and talented people out there. there's not necessarily the opportunities given. >> and on that note, thanks oall of our guests for a great conversation. online. it is is online. check check

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