... on american tonight, desperation and demands to bring back our girls. >> the hope of finding my daughter or our daughters lies in the hands of the government. because for now on -- from now on, we cannot do anything. >> three weeks since hundreds were kid naps. reports more girls have been taken. the u.s. offers to help free them. how? facing their fears over and over again, therapy for trauma survivors. even young rape victims. >> it was kind of scary because

i didn't want to talk about it. i didn't want to acknowledge the fact that i went through it. i didn't want to acknowledge the fact that it was called rape. >> reliving the worst. our in-depth worst, the gruelling therapy for ptsd and how therapists and patients say it works. in the forecast, climate changes, floods, icestorms and blistering heat. scientists tally up disasters and say the change has come. now, what are we going to do about it? joornlings good evening. thanks for joining us. i am joie chen. a nightmare for hundreds of families. now more news that girls in nigeria have been kidnapped from their own beds, disappearing into the dark of the night and held hostage by an armed and

vicious mil at that time group called before boka haram. doing everything except accepting american help. >> bring back. bring back our girls. >> the anger is rising. missing now since april 15th, '22 days, 223 girls. teenagers age 16 to 18 taken from their school at gunpoint by the militant islamist group boka haram and not seen since. another eight girls were reportedly abducted from a their village homes. >> we want our girls back now! now! >>. >> there is little sign of any part on the effort of nigeria's government and military to get

them back. >> the hope of finding my daughter, our daughters lies in the hands of the government. and the security. from now on, we cannot do anything algeria correspondent. >> concerns they have come out on to the streets today and they are marching to the chief of defense staff office, on nigeria security services to try to finds hundreds of missing girls from the northeast. many of these people feel the nigerian government ought to be taking the lead. >> a large group of girls were taken from chibok kidnapped from a village close to a known boko haram stronghold. they believe girls have been put in groups of 2 to 3 and taken them in the forest. >> the leader of boko hor a.m. meaning western education is r

forbidden has intentions to sell them into slavery. >> this is quite a pauling. slavery, sexual slavery, absolutely prohibited under international law and in certain circumstances, and this could well be one of them, it can be considered crimes against hum humani humanity. >> twitter has galvanized, women rallying in san francisco, washington, new york and in europe. the hashtag "bring back our gir girls" has gone globalry viral. >> demonstrators claim the first lady has ordered protesters detainnd and expressed doubt the k kidnappings too many places. >> governments have been offering aid surveillance, intelligence, hostage

negotiators and law enforcement help. it was only today that the ni nigerian government agreed. >> we are going to do everything we can to provide assistance to them. in the short-term, obviously, our girl is to help the international and the nigerian government as a team to do everything we can to recover these young ladies. >> nigeria claims it is taking what it cause discreet action to return them to their families. the families say as the military ignored requests for help the night of the abductor and ignored warnings that would have brought more soldiers into chibok to protect the girls at their school, they are doing too little now. sheila mcvicker, al jazeera. >> the u.s. is preparing a military law enforcement team to help locate the girls. just how will they do that? joining us is al jazeera security contribute or tim crockett. tim, explain to us, if you were leading this, what would be your

first step? what would be your approach here? >> i think the first thing they need to do is obviously establish where the gaps are, how much information the nigerians already possess, what avenues they have to gather further intelligence and look to bolster and fill those gaps. they can't work and operate in a vacuum of information. so i think one of the first steps they are going to have to do is find out what is what and who is who and build on that. >> clearly, the united states isability give certain resources nigeria doesn't have on its glenn. >> own and bearing in mind the area of their strong hold is in the north, in a very densely forested, hard to access area that leads to some other countries which might also be hideouts for these folks. i mean how does that fit in to the picture, and where can the u.s. help in that sense? >> yeah. it's very problematic to operate in areas that are so rural and ungoverned to some extent. the nigerian security forces

have tried and failed at securing those areas. now, they may be able to secure some of the routes but in the area where these camps are believed to be, very difficult to get in and monitor, yet alone pursue any leads. the fact that there are very porous borders with cameroon and chad complicates things so unless you work on both sides, we have seen in the past that the senior leaders have slipped over the border and evaded capture. so, yeah, a difficult challenge. >> certainly, in that, what is your prog what is the likelihood here that all of these young women can be found and safely returned to their homes? >> i think that's an incredible longshot. we have already heard rumors that somehow perhaps being married up to some of their captors, maybe even taken over the border and sold already. so it's hard to work out just how many will be recovered and

what the outcome will be of those that either remain in cap captivity or have been sold and within nigerian borders or over into cameroon or into chad. >> part of that does involve the motivation of the kidnappers? right? this isn't a typical kidnapping where you have a ransom and you pay it or don't. it looks like they want to keep these young women. >> this is very unusual in the sense. it doesn't follow any classic patterns in the sense of let's take somebody, and for money orling gain. there doesn't seem to be a clear end game. the amount of people taken, almost like a taunt or it could be part of a bigger picture, a bigger play here so, really, we are going to have to wait until this plays out or the team that has been sent out in conjunction with other countries, what they can turn up and hopefully affect

some sort of resolution. >> al jazeera security contributor tim crockett, thanks. >> thank you. >> when we return, our in-depth look at a gruelling therapy for ptsd. >> i couldn't look at my dad because he was -- he was like he had the same look that the guy h had, the same look that my dad had. >> what does that do in your heart to know you couldn't look at your dad >> when i looked at him, i looked at him in disgust. it was hard. >> why forcing trauma victims to look back may be the best way to help them move forward. later, the rain, the cold, the winter that wouldn't end. we have already lived in. now, scientists confirm our climate has changed and it comes with heavy costs. how bad is climate change for our nation? and what can we do about it?

"america tonight" goes in depth with a dramatic and sometimes disturbing therapy for ptsd. it's hard to watch, the therapy that offers new hope to victims of sexual assault. the 5 year treatment shows the treatment that has been used to help combat soldiers is making a dirps for rape victims. american tonight correspondent is given rare access to the usually private therapy sessions? >> he is kissing the inside of my leg. i don't want him touching me. >> this is the type of therapy for rape haven'tivictims. >> it's like laying in garbage.

>> it requires tahira's horrific experience recount that left her wondering if she would live to see another day. >> if i try to fight back. god. >> it may seem cruel at first glance. >> you can do this. i know it's hard. >> in this video, she's 17 and remembering skipping school to hang out with her then boyfriend. he tool her to his friend's house where another man she had never met forced himself on her in a back room. >> the situation, i felt like it was my fault because i didn't fight. and i didn't want to, like -- i didn't want to make it a big deal because i didn't fight

back, like it's my fault. i should have fault. i should have been more -- >> tahira had been an out going teenager, a young girl who loved snapping pictures with her friends until the trauma too many over her life. >> you feel like a walking zombie. you are walking through life and not even being able to like look at my parents, not having -- not wanting to hug anyone. i couldn't even stand in a line like at a store. if somebody was standing behind me, i was uncomfortable. i couldn't look at my dad because he was like he had the same look lithat the guy had. >> what does that do in your hea heart? >> when i did look at him, i looked at him in disgust. >> she stopped dancing, and i mean she danced. she lost her dance. she lost her joy. just became like a shell.

i used to tell her, i wanted to see her dance because i knew that would somehow show she needed to fight back. she needed toher take her life back. >> every day activities became almost impossible for tahira. her mother never knew what could trigger an emotional breakdown. she eventually started home schooling her daughter. >> i wanted to protect her. i have always wanted to protect her. i felt like i had failed. >> tahira was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder. she tried various types of therapy but was still suffering. juaneet a contacted a local rape crisis center where she met dr. sandy cataldy at the university of pennsylvania who reported tahira for a groundbreaking s d study. she would undergo a

treatment called "prolonged exposure therapy ". >> dirty, touching me. and i feel like i can't do anything from that point. >> we have the add less event telling the story of what happened to them repeatedly over and over throughout sessions. >> it was kind of scary because i really didn't want to talk about it. i didn't want to acknowledge the fact that i went through it. i didn't want to acknowledge the fact that it was called rape. i don't think i wanted to close my eyes, you know, close my eyes made it all too real. >> the therapy required tahira to face her fears head-on? >> i didn't want to be in a room with the doors open. at night, i didn't -- i really couldn't sleep. >> dr. capaldi told her to sleep with her door open until it became less scary and to visit places that made her anxious like the house where she was raped not far from her own home. >> could you have done this walk

without the therapy? >> probably not. like i hated walking by myself. >> prolonged exposure therapy was developed more than two decades ago by renowned psychology dr. edna foah. she regularly teaches her methods to doctors from around the world during seminars like this. >> when we are going to push. i mean, you know, gentlely. >> it's widely used by department of veterans affairs for servicemen and women who suffer from ptsd. research proves it's successful for most adult. >> about 85% are being helped. there are about, you know, between 10 and 15% that are not helped. but we all know from studies that we have done that nobody got worse. >> the study that tahira was pat of shows it helps teenagers published in the american medical association journal, results show of the patients who received prolong expose you're

therapy, 83% were secured of their ptsd diagnosis compared with 54% who received traditional support of counseling. >> i was outside, bent over a car, and he was having sex with me from behind. >> america tonight was allowed to observe this woman's ongoing therapy sessions. typically, there can be as many as 16 sessions before a patient no longer has ptsd. we met her at the beginning of her treatment. >> i don't know. i just get so uncomfortable. >> the patient asked us to protect her identity for safety reasons. she was a teenager when she was raped. she is now 21 years old. dr. emily malcoun has been working with her to confront her trauma. >> what do you think will be the hardest thing for her to overcome. >> i think anger. she told me she has a very hard time letting her feel herself

get angry about people and feel the emotions. >> in her first session, this patient talks about her rape in a mechanical way. >> he is just standing there, staring at me. and i am just sort of in a panic, just saying, no. no. my friends are out there no. >> each time the patient repeats the story of her rape, her anxiety decreases. all her sessions are also recorded and she has to listen to herself recounting her rape every day. >> how hopeful are you that this patient will be successful with this type of treatment? >> i am extremely hopeful. i am -- i can say i am absolutely confident. >> several weeks later, we went back to observe another session. this time, dr. malcouhn pushed the patient to reveal more

graphic details about her rape. >> i could physically hear it. i could hear the friction. i could hear him heavy breathing, and then i can just hear me like being pushed against this car. >> the patient says it's getting easier and she is learning to reconnect with her emotions. >> is there anything that you would say is not working for you in this type of therapy so far? >> so far, to be very honest, like there hasn't -- haven't been a negative feeling toward the therapy. i mean obviously there is a big source of -- big feeling of uncomfortableness that comes with this therapy, but that means it's working. >> where do you want to be ultimately? >> where do i want to be? i want to be emotional stable, not being just controlled by my ptsd. >> it's a freedom tahira stoval

has achieved. able to smile again and laugh and even dance. >> she is dancing. she took her life back. >> means she took her life back. >> this move right here, which is like washing the shame off, washing the fear off, washing everything i felt off, you know, and in this moment, i claim myself as not being a victim but like i am a rape survivor. ♪. >> that is a victory. america tonight's laura jane. tell us how these women are being here. >> she has found healthy relationships and she is happily pregnant and about to graduate from college. she is doing well. the other woman, she had a few sessions and i checked in today with her doctor who said she is doing amazing. when she started, she came in with a moderately severe level

of ptsd and a clinically significant level of depression but after five sessions, those have gone down so much she is not even considered to meet the criteria for ptsd and her depression has gone down about four times she's dealing with trauma issues but success. >> after five sessions, i have to ask. it seems like this is a fairly traumatic experience. does anybody -- are there cr critics of it? does anybody think it's a bad idea? >> there is so much evidence that shows this type of therapy worked. there aren't a lot of doctors that are doing it yet. it requires some special training. they have to take classes to learn how to do this type of therapy. there has been some arguments made some therapists might find this boring because it's the same thing over and over again. also, some of these doctors might not want to put their patients through this type of therapy because it does seem tr traumatic. you think of counseling as calming, but if you avoid some

of these issues, that's one of the things that contributes to ptsd lasting longer. >> that's the argument. >> it isn't a first line therapy? it's something people have come to after trying other things? >> people have gone through other types of therapy. >> ameri"america tonight's" lau jane glehall taking the temperature? >> 97% of scientists agree there is an overwhelming amount of evidence that exists that climate change is real. >> the winds, waters and wild weather aren't proof enough for many americans. why that is. the evidence scientists say already exists. and breaking her silence, after more than 15 years, monica lewinsky tells her side and says it's time to bury the dress.

the performance review. that corporate trial by fire when every slacker gets his due. and yet, there's someone around the office who hasn't had a performance review in a while. someone whose poor performance

is slowing down the entire organization. i'm looking at you phone company dsl. check your speed. see how fast your internet can be. switch now and add voice and tv for $34.90. comcast business built for business. >> how old are you? >> 9 >> child labor in america >> in any other industry, kids need to be 16 years old to be able to work. you don't see any of that in agriculture >> low cost food >> how many of you get up at 4 or 5 o'clock in the morning to go out to the fields? >> who's paying the price? fault lines... al jazeera america's hard hitting... ground breaking... truth seeking... >> they don't wanna show what's really going on... >> award winning, investigative, documentary series. children at work only on al jazeera america

>> now our our snapshot of stories making headlines. out of the head lines more than 15 years, monica lewinsky breaks her silence. she admits to a con cents annual affair with former president bin clinton saying she is going ol record telling her side and burying the dress. >> celebrities protesting the owner allowing stonings and afternoontations. >> gun battlestrine ukraineian forces and pro-russian militants. the most intensive in slovyansk. .30 russian forces have been killed. for the first time in weeks, it seems, the lingering cold, brutal winter isn't a headline story but our climate is. a sobering assessment released

by the obama administration forecasts more extreme weather across the country. recordbreaking rainfall, home wrecking hurricanes and arctic ice caps melting. the new report finds this the most extreme weather is our new normal. just last week, rain in the florida panhandle exceeded two feet in just 24 hours. the last tep years have seen records broken across the country. from wildfires in the western states to a historic drought in the midwest and large parts of california. in fact, 2000 to 2010 was the hottest decade on record. over all, high temperatures have risen more than 1 and a half degrees since 1895. the white house report is in line with other studies and is the result of years of research by more than 300 scientists. >> this report makes it emphatically clear that humans

are causing the climate to change and the climate is already changing where we live, work, grow our food in your own backyard. >> no doubt, say 97% of climate experts but plenty of doubt among other americans. in a gallup poultry leased in march, 57% of americans say climate change is indeed caused by humans but a sizeable minority, 40%, see no connection between human activity and global warming. >> we need to do a better job. the pathway we are on today portends a future climate unseen by anyone in this nation, some rather spectacular changes in climate. we have something on our side. >> that's as these events continue to other, most everyone will be experiencing them during the course of the next years. >> the most comp prehelpedsive

analysis is complete. the message is clear: the world is detting hotter. it will affect every part of the nation and our lives. so why do so many americans deny climate change? dr. robert btulle has researched the climate change counter movement as it were. explain this to us. why is there this gap in perception? first of all, thank you for having me. there wasn't always this big of a gap. if you go back to some of the very early polls, in 1989, there was a poll by gallup. they asked people: how much do you worry about climate change and it turned out that 67% of democrats worried a lot about climate change and 66% of republicans worried about climate change. a different of only one %. fast forward 25 years and you now have 83% of democrats who

are very concerned about climate change and only 38% of republicans, which is a gap of 45 percentage points. >> let's talk about why people, why is there this gap in what people believe is really happening here and what your scientists will say about it? >> well, we know that the science on climate change has been settled for a very, very long time. i could show you headlines from 1979 that are saying essentially the same thing that today's report is saying. so the science has just gotten stronger, but what we see, what has been driving this, there are two factors. the first factor is that republican party and the democratic party split over the issue of climate change and have continued to split and polarize. it wasn't always the case, the act of global climate change research act in 1990, which

authorized the national climate assessment report that we are seeing today was passed by 100 to zero in the senate. now, congress is like the largest poliarization since the civil war. >> what is in that? >> well, let me finish. and so what we see is that the climate -- the polarization in congress was picked up and filtered through the media and partisan politics followed public opinion that it followed that split. the other part was is that there is a concerted effort by conservative organizations, what i call the climate change counter movement to cast doubt about the certainty of the signic consensus about climate change. so that's where -- that's where the polarization has been amplified. you have both political parties splitting and you have a concerted effort to cast doubt

about the veracity of scientific information. >> dr. route bruille, thank you for being with us. we think of california as earthquake country. but the u.s. geological survey increased a warning about a damaging earthquake in sent california oklahoma. it has experienced a record high number of earthquakes since october of last year. a look between 197 grand ais he 88, two quakes hit the state each year but within the last sixty months, oklahoma has had a total of 183 quakes. >> that's an interesting statistic. what's behind all of the quake activity? oklahoma? joining us is dr. just inrubinstein, we appreciate your being here. let's talk about the significance of this. we look at it just as laymen and say 183 in six months, that would be significant anywhere.

this is not necessarily the catastrophic earthquakes we might see but lower level, portending something in the future? >> we are seeing a lot of earthquakes in oklahoma. most are in the magnitude range of magnitude 3 to 4. so we have seen 20 earthquakes between magnitude 4 and 4. -- actually, 4 and 5.6 including the 2011 craig earthquake which caused a significant amount of damage up to eighteen miles away from the earthquake. >> is this the kind of earthquake you would feel, a vase go off of the table. >> it caused a significant amount of damage. there was significant damage to a bell tower at saint gregoire's university in shawnee and there are a number of areas that seem to be chimneys actually collapse. this is an event that can cause a significant amount of damage. >> looking forward, is it a

predict to have this many earthquakes. can you predict there will be a significant quake in the future? >> certainly, we can't really predict earthquakes at this time. but we do know about earthquakes, when you have a lot of smaller earthquakes, the likely of having a larger earthquake increases and that's why we made this release with the oklahoma geological sush ais that we believe the hazard has increased in the past four years. >> okay. >> we are encouraging residents to prepare for the possibility that there could be a damaging earthquake. >> all right. on the human factors element of this, this is not an area that saw a great number. what is increasing this? >> we are not certain what's causing all of the increase in earthquakes but some real believed to be caused by human activity. the earthquake sequence that included the 5.6, there have

been two publications indicating those earthquakes appear to have been triggered by waste water injection. >> a by product of fracking which is taking place a great deal in oklahoma now? >> well, actually, the majority of the waste water that is injected has -- is not a direct consequence of the fracking. it's what's called produced water. produced water is being pulled out at the same time as you're extracting oil and gas. oftentimes the oil and gas is very low cut. there is far more water than there is oil and they need to dispose of that. and so that's the major source of the fluized that are being injected in oklahoma. >> forgive me. isn't that water coming from the fracking process that's releasing the gas and the oil? fracking is often used to release the gas and oil but fundamentally the fluized that come from the fracking process are minimal in the waste water injection. >> in any case flu is a significant amount of water

that's being dispersed and this you thing may be at least connected to a number of these. after all, if you are going from two to 183 in six months, that's a pressutty significant step up >> that's correct. it's very difficult to assess every single earthquake. it's difficult to pin one earthquake on waste water injection. because there have been so many earthquakes, it's difficult for us to assess whether or not all of these earthquakes are related to waste water injection. one of the stumbling blocks for us in making these sorts of assessments is that industrial data that we need to use to study the relationship with earthquakes and waste water injection is often difficult to get, or it can be sampled les l frequently. it's timid sampled once a month but we need something once a day or more frequent. >> something for the citizens to keep watch on but we will see what happens next.

us geophysicist dr. justin rubenstein, we appreciate you being with us? >> thanks for having me. >> when we return, rethinking south africa in black and while. in the first election since nelson man d's death, selling south africa's new slogan action we've got a good story to tell. a note to our viewers about what's ahead on the next america tonight. dividing a nation and dividing the heartland. >> it's not just an infrastructure project. >> the keystone xl pipe leip why in the great plains, those who have a shared love and dependents on the land have strong and different views about whether to build it.

20 years ago this week, millions of south africans lined up to vote for the very first time in the country's first ever multi-racial e elections. on wednesday, south africa will go to the polls again, but this time as a nation whose youth have have have no direct connection to its apartheid past. >> nick schifrin voted with that generation called "born frees" with a glimpse of the new south africa. >> in downtown johan he johannesburg, a generation

undaunted by a troubled past is dancing, cheering and spinning its way to an integrated and hopeful future. . >> this entire area wants to get down to being really south african and making things work and move. >> this spot was once notorious foraysism and seg gregation and urban decay. it's the epicenter of a new south africa. >> this space has really allowed us to live out what we kind of ma'amming for ourselves. >> they are members of a unique generation old enough to remember apartheid, young enough not to be scarred by it. smart enough to move on. >> you gravitate to these places where it is a place that's not actually about the race. it's actually about a passion that people are all in to. >> those places are the bars, kichners, the naked bramfantine. it might be south africa's new

model. >> this can teach south africa, there is a lot of patience, tolerance, but, also, opportunity. >> a lawyer. why not? >> does the world need another lawyer? >> meet the man who saw that opportunity? >> you can be one of two people, the person who wants to make good of the world and change everything that's failed in front of him or the type of person who wants to pack it up and leave. i was always going to be the former. >> this building over here. >> about a decade ago with a little help from his parents, 36-year-old adam levy bought this building? >> this is the building then in the street and then the neighborhood. >> who would want to be by the bridge and the railway station. i overlook this panoramic city skyline. who wouldn't want to be here. >> a lot of people. it was a band oned and neglected and the bards were full of racist memories.

>> everywhere around you would have been only for white people almost exclusively. but this was, i wasn't fresh t frequenting this bar. i was like a big bastian of afrikanners. >> he envisioned a vision when nelson mandela became the first south accident. >> it was a dawn of a new time which is why i suppose my generation is so unique is that there were people that saw that sort of thing and were threatened by it and there were people like me who i think are absolute majority who saw the potential in it all. he built where no one else saw the potential. he built it and they came? >> a new generation with these ideas and open-mindedness and inspired action happening inside of it in a whole new fabric. they are literally walk into their own manual nations. i am to some degree facilitating

it. when that moment happens, it's like, you know, it happens and literally in an instance, you can feel that there is a different energy that they are operating at a different level. they are like climbing into the best of themselves. >> there was this sense of isolation. we were a minority, a distinction minority in a white school. >> kafi glue up as one of 10 black students. as a child he was obvious givesous to the country's stark racial divisions. his white friends started questioning whether apartheid ending was good? >> you have to take a stance. i distinctionly remember that happening within school and having to kind of be a part of the change. >> his slow evolution mirrored the countries's. he said he can find himself in the minority? >> you find yourself on committees and you are the only

one who is the black person in the meeting? isolation. >> when it comes to your personal life and your family and what you are willing to accept there, that's one of those issues change become an issue. >> theos grew up, up i want grated. when she was 15, she brought a black boyfriend home. >> suddenly, it's a completely different story. all of these things that you have spent your life, grown up a certain way and everything has been cool and no one ever questioned you, now, you are in a different world. now, your world is: this is inappropriate. >> she moved away from her parents. she says she had to. she knew her generation had a responsibility. >> that, for me, is how do we speak to each other as people and how do we start to overcome the kind of deeper level of things in this country. >> we have grown up with a generation that's sort of grown up interacting with each other, has made things easier, has made

us respect each other. >> 29-year-old catlega was surrounded by white friends. it nervous bothered him. every social occasion or every party, you are the token black person there. you get used to it. >> he filled a rare middle ground between white and black south africa. not all of his black friends supported that. >> coconut. >> that's the general term, you know, the title i have had on my head my entire life. a south african term for any black kid that's gone to a good school. >> but he was six when apartheid ended. he has never known any other way to live. today, he works as an events planner upstairs from the bar. his girlfriend helps him spin and the neighborhood embraces the diversity. >> the business owners come from that generation of early days of

apartheid ending and, you know, being integrated with other cultures and learning to tolerate each other. they get that that's what you need to continue and to make things improve and to move forward. >> the story of branfantine, the passes people are interested and they gravitate towards them and we all kind of just mix even more. >> francia, as it is a depart fewer from her social past, her generation feels free to part from the political past. in tomorrow's election, they don't feel they have to vote for man de la's or their parents' party any more? >> we have to start looking at who is the right leader for the right reasons? you need to start answering to us now. >> would you be like to be mayor one day? >> you better believe i would. i don't want to get a dime out of it. my motivation is the motivation that was the motivation when i started here 10 years ago, was to make my city an international world class destination.

it is a genuine pursuit to take something that is run down and most people have a horrible misconceived perception about and changing world opinion. >> inspired by the spaces, the parties, by each other, they are together picturing a new future. >> nick schifrin, al jazeera, in the branfantine neighborhood of johannesburg. >> this hour, coming out and looking in. former n.f.l. player wade davis out on the field and speaking out on the challenges of being gay, black and in the game.

is justice really for all? finally, this hour, the sports world is never an easy place to come out of the closet. the nba's jason collins did and college ball star michael sam followed in his footballs. sam will find out which team he will suit up for. tonight, we introduce you to

wade davis, a gay former football player who kept his sexuality a secret throughout his pro-career and in an open letter to michael sam, davis explains why he would do it all differently if he could. al jazeera's jessica taff has the story. >> dear young athletes, it is 6:40 a.m. i am sitting in at my computer thinking about what to write to you, and i am sfraemd. i am afraid that my words won't be powerful enough. i fear that everything that is in my heart will not find its way out and have an impact on you. inthfrn wade davis's story begins in shreveport, louisiana, where he grew up the youngest of three children. by the time his family moved to colorado, no one knew the deep-seated truth hiding a reality that would haunt him for years. >> i was a kid that was a huge mama's boy. i could play football all day long and come in and watch tapes

of young and the restless with my parents when did football become an integrat integral par family. >> at 6 or 7. i had a neighbor's bawack yard. we would play 20 on 20 games of football. >> what was it like growing up in the south, for one, and, two, in extremely reledgeous family and then, of course, having that secret that you had inside? >> it was tough. yes have an understanding i was comfortable. in the church, i used to hear a lot of comments about gay and lesbian individuals and it was interesting really trying to understand like how could i exist in this world as a gay man really knowing what i was -- when i grew -- what i grew up hering. >> what was it that happened that you had that realizization? >> funny enough, there was a kid in my high school year who i was like, well, he is really hot, you know, and i remember having that thought and then thinking that was wrong, like i can't

think that way. so i remember going home watching kind of showtime and cinemax trying to convince myself that the feelings i was having weren't really real. >> i believed that i would be pushed away by family and friends if my sexuality became my scar let letter, an inindividualsible badge of shame. >> it was that realization that would ultimately come to define the person davis had to be and who he would eventually become. davis was a standout defensive back for the 1995 overland high school team that was a runner up in the colorado state championship game. >> yeah, so there was a kid in high school and we will call him thomas. right? and thomas was really one of the few ultima openly gay kids. so spent a lot of years bullying thomas. his strength was so blinding that the only thing that i could do was make fun of him. >> did you ever tell anybody or confide in anybody? >> i did not tell a single sole

i was gay until actually saying the words that i am gay until you was out of the n.f.l. i dealt with so much self hatred, it was exhausting. the mental power i used trying to hide who i was, i can only imagine how much better of an athlete i would have been if i could have dedicated 30 or 40% more brain power on my sport. >> still chasing down his life-long dream of becoming a pro-football player while fighting through the secret he couldn't share with anyone, davis rose through the ranks playing his college years at weaver state and utah between 1997 and 1999 before finally, making it all the way to the professional ranks in the n.f.l. and n.f.l. europe in 2000. >> when i was over in n.f.l. europe, i was in berlin and there would be guys in my room, like my hotel room and i would be on the phone with my male partner but give him a female name and call him stephanie or go to strip clubs or i would, you know, kind of wear the

oversized clothing that i thought that's what real men did. >> when you look at your career and you start getting kind of higher and higher and higher but you still know you had those feelings, did you find yourself going deeper into the closet. >> my god, yes. i started. i was the greatest l liar and i got good at remembering the lies that i would tell because in order for you to tell this wonderful story, you have to make sure it's consistent. >> was there ever a moment where you thought maybe this would be the day i come out? >> i thought that it was not possible. it was something that i was domesticated to believe like from the aiming of 7, on up, thatfall and being game just didn't mix. and there were tape times when there would be a teammate, man, i think i could probably tell him, but you just never know and i think often, you make it worse in your head than it actually is. i say all of this in hopes of urging you to look into your

heart and find a place only you and i know exists. but you are better than me. i was weak. i was a coward and i listened to all of those voices in my mind that said, you can't be gay. you can't be an athlete and be gay. you can't be a strong black man and be gay. but today, i know longer fear those voices. and they no longer rule my life. >> for wade davis, the hardest part of being true to himself was facing the demons that wayed on his sole. it came after a flight home to colorado in 2007 to see his sister, tasha and their mother. >> so i first told my sister. right? and my sister and i have always been very, very close. so, i flew to colorado and i told her and she laughed. she was like, i am going to be the fate now. and her next comment to me was, you can't tell mom, you know, she was really like mom is not going to be able to handle it because you are her golden boy. i knew at that point, i needed

to tell my mom. my mother and i went i we went for a walk and i said i am gay and she said that's an abomination and she said, you are already black, you know. and it was really powerful to hear my mother really understand that, you know, she knew that being as a black man, i would already have one strike against me potentially but adding another layer or another multiple of pressure on top of me was really hurtful. the next three to four years were pretty tumultouos. we went through a lot of highs and lows. my mother met my current partner at that time and things have been great. i had already come to grips with the fact that i was gay. so she needed time, too. if it took me 15 years to be okay with being gay, can i at least give her half of that? . >> he has mention -- you have mentioned friends, teammates. how have they all reacted? >> i have yet to have one negative experience from my high school, college or n.f.l.

teammates. >> the news of jason collins, an active mba player came as a shop to many in the sports world and has opened up new possibilities for gay and lesbian athletes. >> the real impact, i think, is for kids to actually see a gay n.f.l. or nba or any of the other two major sports. just the fact that someone can go, wow, that person is gay and is playing on sundays. >> now, wade is an ambassador to the gay community. his coming out to the world and his story serves as an inspiration to gay and lesbian athletes, currently the 36-year-old works with youth did in the you can play program and got his started working out of the headric march typical institute in network counseling lbgt individuals. >> a good friend zig, zeigler asked to write a story about me

for years and years. there is no real story there, me being a bench warmer, a guy that got cut and resigned and cut and resigned and my story could really affect change and sid was like, what if we talk about your story along with the work that you are really doing to highlight the young people you are working with every day? i said that's a story that needs to be told. during my coming out process, yes, it happened eleven years too late. i heard from multiple teammates and family members who all expressed great sadness because i did not believe in them enough to give them an opportunity to still love me. >> the pain of living a lie may seem like it will only last while you are playing, but the truth is, my scars may never fully heal. don't let the love of your sport overshadow the need to love yourself. >> that's the truest thing i ever wrote. >> al jazeera's jessica taff. we will see you next time on "ney tonight."

america says help is on the way as more girls are kidnapped in nigeria. will possible negotiations with the terrorists just reward their actions? also, the white house issues a major report on climate change. it specifically warns of dire consequences of different regions of the u.s. plus al jazeera exclusively obtains e-mails between the nsa and google that raise serious questions about a cozy