>> i prayed my innocence could be established, and i would be released >> what if you admitted to something you did not do >> the truth will set you free yeah don't kid yourself... >> the system with joe burlinger only on al jazeera america >> ukraine falling apart as talks begin to stop the country from disintegrating america's ambassador to ukraine tells us what needs to be done. a bullet ridden car - violence faced by anyone that speaks out. a growing number of adults would rather run through mud and dodge electrical wires that play

football. people are having separation anxiety from their phones. i'm antonio mora, welcome to "consider this". here is more on what is ahead. >> ukranian leaders met to discuss a european-backed plan to end a crisis. >> the european union is committed to increase the costs to russia, should it take more steps to destabilize the situation. >> ukraine's future should not be determined at the barrel of a gun. >> i feel strongly about the need to deal with immigration. >> we have a narrow window. >> if the republicans don't do it, they shouldn't bother to run a candidate in 2016. >> pakistan is one of the dangerous countries in the world for journalists. >> there's a lot of fears. people have been targeted, journalists killed. ukraine's interim government met in kiev on wednesday for a

round of talks to try to end the crisis seeing pro-russian separatists battle for control over the east. that struggle became deadly on tuesday when seven soldiers were killed and eight wounded when an armoured personnel carrier was ambushed. a separatist was killed. separatist leaders were not invited to take part in the political talks in kiev. government leaders, including acting president oleksandr turchynov discussed a decentralisation plan, but not federalization, which ukraine's leaders fear the industrial east could fall under moscow's influence and control. i had a chance to speak with ambassador geoffrey pyatt, the ambassador to ukraine. sergei lavrov told the news that ukraine was as close to civil war as you get.

he said that wednesday. 10 were killed on tuesday, described as an ambush of an armoured personnel carrier, and a separatist was killed. is sergei lavrov correct - are we on the verge of civil war there? >> sorry, i don't think foreign minister sergei lavrov read the situation correctly. the violence that took place kramatorsk is unfortunate making clear that the separatists are using syria's weapons to wreak damage. i'm coming from a meeting from a roundtable which was chaired with political parties, religious leaders, the ayman, the heads of both the moscow patriarchy, the orthodox and greek catholic church. every point on the spectrum. no one was talking about civil

war. what they were talking about is bringing the country forward, how to make the country economically successful and politically stable. >> the round-table talks, national unity talks began on wednesday, hoping to resolve the crisis by finding a formula satisfying the eastern regions, where the separatists want autonomy or the government in kiev want central authority, how can the talks square that circle. what kind of compromise could they reach to calm things down and move forward? >> i don't think a compromise is that far out of reach. there was a consistent message from prime minister yat -- arseniy yatsenyuk, and the acting president oleksandr turchynov, and everywhere else, supporting the principal of authority, the principal of driving down decision making,

the principle of making sure the government works or everyone. no one is talking about concentrating and centralizing. that was an unfortunate development of the viktor yanukovych years. at this point there's a consensus on a road ahead involving the revision of the constitution and meaningful devaluation of authority. there was a depp utation by the deputy prime minister who is leading the effort to advance the goal of devery well use. and as the deputy prime minister puts it to build structures of garchance that look like other european democracies. >> the talks are going forward without participation from the pro-russians actions and the government said it doesn't want to net with groups with blood on their hands. how can the talks succeed without their involved. they showed a lot of

independence arguably from vladimir putin and russia. >> an important thing to remember is a small number of people with guns in the government buildings, in the east of donetsk and lugansk do not speak for all the people, not for all of ukraine, they are not elected. the elected authorities, the politic political leaders participated actively in the roundtable. they speak for the ukrainian people. i was impressed to here what acting president oleksandr turchynov said. he was clear that the government would welcome broader participation with the exception of those people using guns to kill their fell scro citizens. that's a reasonable approach at this point. >> the groups have, as you said, you know, taken control of certain parts of donetsk and lugansk, and you described what is going on with the groups in

the east as terrorism pure and simple. how do you move forward if these people do control certain parts of that eastern ukraine. >> i would draw two different circles. first of all, the people in eastern ukraine who are concerned about the direction. who are looking for economic signals of the report. the president and the acting president and the prime minister made clear that they were clear to do so. separate from those feelings of economic dislocation and political dissatisfaction are the people engaged in terrorist activities, when you take a look. when you rob banks, use preppeled equipment. that is terrorist movements.

those people who are pursuing violence, armed violence in eastern ukraine do not speak to the future of this country. sergei lavrov insists that russia has no intention of sending troops to the ukraine or removing troops to the border. >> you have said that the united states would have an instantaneous response if russia were to ipp vade ukraine. what would that entail. >> let me make clear, we are aiming for a diplomatic resolution. crisis, there's no military solution to the standoff. it's a principle that the ukranian government agrees on strongly. on the military side, we have been clear from president obama on down, that the military ipp vision of the ukrainian mainland would represent a significant escalation of this crisis, and would draw a strong and prompt rehabilitation from the united

states. i would emphasise also our partnership with europe. it was important that german chancellor angela merkel when she was in washington echo president obama's words. there was a strong sense of agreement between the two leaders. i'm not going to speculate on the shape that the additional u.s. actions would take at this point. but i can tell you that we have been very clear that if russia invades the east of ukraine, or if russia takes further steps to destabilize the critically important may 25th elections, there'll be a cost that the united states is prepared to impose jointly with our part engineers. >> we have the presidential elections coming up and you described them as an important event in history. can that election be full and fair if the separatists factions refused to allow it to go forward as they said they will

in the east, and if they are still fighting there. >> i'll say two things - first of all, it's important that we have a massive intgsal observer -- international server appearance. about 1,000 from the o.s.c.e. in vienna, additional observers from the european parliament, from the united states, from our congress, our political parts. everybody wants to see that this election is free and fair and is judged that way by the ukrainian people. we expect an interim report from the o.s.c.e. in the next couple of hours, laying out their assessment of the preparations that the government has made. our assessment is that the preparations are on track, in terms of preparations of voter lists and preparations of ballots. we hope the elections will move ahead in all of don't esque and lugansk -- donetsk and lugansk. if it doesn't happen, because of the violent groups, it will be

unfortunate, and it's the people with guns that will be taking away from the ukranian people their right to express their political opinion. i don't think it would ipp validate the election. i would note that i have heard the governor as recently as today reaffirming his confidence that the election in donetsk will go ahead. we see it as a critically important opportunity for the ukranian people to voice their own preference, to answer the threat that russia presented. as i said approval, there's no better april to russian aggression than a strong turn out by the ukranian people, and an emphatic result by the may 25th elections. >> from the russian perspective, they have key production facilities in ukraine that have been there since the days of the soviet union. for centuries ukraine was a part of the russian empire and the

soviet union. does moscow have some legitimate claims to having a say in ukraine's future? >> it's for the ukranian people to decide what their future is, and only for the ukranian people to decide. i know from the ukrainian leaders i speak with, they want a stable, productive relationship with russia. this is a country that should have a naturally profitable economic relationship. there are, as you note, important historical, cultural linguistic ties. none of that gives russia a veto over the choices that the ukranian people want to make about their future direction. we believe a ukraine embedded in european institutions offer the long term should be good for russia, it would be a more prosperous country, creating additional opportunities for russian exports and help ukraine play an important role as a

brimming power between the eurasian economic space and the euro-atlantic economic space. that will take a software change in moscow in terms of the language we is seep recently. everyone i speak to wants a constructive respectful relationship with moscow. >> talking about the software change, russia claims the u.s. is meddling in ukraine with our support for the maydan uprising that overthrew viktor yanukovych, and our support for the interim government. how do you respond to that? >> our role is a diplomatic one. we had a strategic partnership with the viktor yanukovych government. the united states worked hard to build bridges with viktor yanukovych and his opposition. we were clear in relation to violence. up until the agreement signed by president viktor yanukovych, and

three european foreign ministers on 21 february, we were working to support the framework for stabilization of the situation. president ynk -- viktor yanukovych abandoned his office and fled to russia taking ilgotten games and left the rota to pick up the pieces and create the democratic compact. now it's moving ford. the rodda is a legitimately elected body. to suggest that the united states was involved in issuing traiting this badly misreads the leadership that the ukrainian people themselves demonstrated, and the courage that they demonstrated in reclaiming their -- demonstrated in reclaiming their own democracy. >> we wish you the level and appreciate you joining us. thank you for your time. >> nice talking to you. coming up, why pakistani journalists are putting their lives on the line for speaking

out about human right. we'll hear from someone forced to leave the country. is the focus being taken away were obamacare. and harmeli aregawi is tracking the top stories on the web. what is trending? >> a u.n. backed report details a disturbing number of people forced to nee homes because of armed conflict. i'll have the numbers coming up. >> join the conversation throughout the show.

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>> pakistani journalists are sadly dying to tell stories. amnesty international reports 34 journalists have been assassinated in pakistan since 2008. ironically it's the year the country switched from a dictatorship to a democracy. our next guest left after baring surviving an attack. we speak to a journalist who was injured when his car came under gun fire. his driver was murdered, his body guard injured, it was an incident involving express media group. we are pleased to be joined by rosa, he's been a policy analyst

since leaving pakistan. he's a senior fellow at the jenna institute a public policy think tank in islamabad. good to have you with us. this attack came a week after prime minister sharif said he wanted to make pakistan a journalist-friendly nation - known as one of the most dangerous places. your driver was killed, body guard injured. why do you believe you were targeted? >> i think the problem in pakistan is that there are certain areas where you cannot freely report or comment about. whether these have to do with sensitive national security issues, that's when you get into trouble with the state. on the other hand, if you are too vocal about the rights of minorities, human rights, challenging the marriages of the extremists, and the way they

justify violence, so then they respond with the attacks. >> that's how you think you got in trouble. >> i think so. >> you have been an outspoken human rights advocates, advocating for the piperities, being whom -- minorities being whom? >> the non-muslims, 3-5% of the population is not muslim. the overwhelming is mus lum. within them -- muslim. within muslim you have sects, shiite, communities and other smaller sects under attack. there has been murders and target killings, and when you report on them, and you question why that is happening in the name of faith and ideology, you anger the extreme groups, and there's a few dozen of them roaming around in the country. >> there has been virtual impunity. >> that is the issue. as you mention, so many

journalists since swathe have been killed. very few of the murderers have been either nabbed or prosecuted or sentenced. this is the problem. that once you don't sentence the killers, the culture of impunity gets deeper and deeper. >> why are these people not caught. do they not want to go after the extremists. in the case of extremists, what is the issue? >> i think partly there's an issue of state capacity. first of all, pakistan's justice is antiquated. it has not been reformed since the 19th century. the second issue has to do with the fact that, you know, going after extremists by the politicians - they feel endangered. if you remember benza bhutto was murdered in 2007, others, human

rights defenders, there was a christian minorities ministers, a governor of a province who was advocating against certain laws, and he was murdered like that. they are scared to go after the extremists. >> beyond being scared are they in bed with the extremists. we had an author writing about how the i.s.i. supported the taliban. is that a problem? >> i think the lines are blurred. there's the taliban and moougea had een, the whole government and state supported them. but in the last decade we have a pakistani branch or a version of pakistan emerging.

they have killed five army generals, killed 5 touz soldiers, attacked i.s.i. installations themselves. it's more complicated than the earlier, you know, distinction of the i.s.i. being in bed with them or the government in bed with them. it's more complicated. if i put it very briefly, it's the ipp ability of the state to actually rise to the challenge that it's grappled with. >> talking about challenges, the stayed said she wants to have a pakistani chit he to protect journalists. weeks after you were attacked a major figure in pakistan and other journalists were attacked. will you feel safe to go back. >> that is a major worry and concern for me at the moment. the police have arrested six alleged killers, you know, who killed my driver. and i must say my poor drivers

had been with me for years, and i saw him die. my fear and worry is i don't want anyone caught in a crossfire when they go back. whatever happens to me will happen. any harm in the accident, or like that would be heavy on my concerns. yes, if the police proceed with the investigation, if there's strong progress and evidence gathering and the court sentencing them, surely i'm more comfortable in returning. i hope that is done in a few weeks or month's time. >> even though your media outlet has been targeted a few times already - why? >> once more it was targeted after the attack. there was a bomb found outside the bureau chief's house in peshawar. i think partly because our media

organization, both express tribunal and a populist paper, it's a paper challenging the extremist. i think the group is headed by, you know, businessmen from the minority sect community, which is under attack in pakistan. there's a mixed factor - mixture of reasons for that happening. >> it's an important story. pakistani journalists are secs about getting the -- soars about getting the story out. i'm glad to see you and that you are okay and wish you the level. after more than 50 votes to repeal the heath care law, there's no votes on the future. why are the republicans gone viability. are they running away from it.

democrats are having trouble fielding candidates in a variety of races. are the democrats in disarray or is it wishful thinking on the part of republicans. let's bring in al jazeera michael sure, join us from montgomery. let's start with the g.o.p. no scheduled vots or hearings on obamacare. is the g.o.p. backing off after recent good news about sign ups. >> i think that has a little to do with it. i think the news is good and that makes it - the point is now the democrats can take control of an issue that they lost control of. one of the problems with that, though, is to fool yourselves into thinking that, in fact, it will go away as a republican issue. it played yesterday in nebraska, where ben saab won the nomination, it was about obamacare, how he was going to

go to washington and be a vote against obamacare. it will play locally. they'll do other things. there was a fox poll saying 47-46 people polled in a fox news poll say that eventually the affordable care act will be good for the country. that's not something you want to bring for a vote. >> many are running against obamacare, the nebraska senatorial committee said the drum beat should continue, and the democrats are not out there singing praises. democratic senator running for re-election sent out anti-obamacare mailers after her top opponent said he supported part of the law. is it still a liability. >> that's what we were talking about. it's a local issue in some cases, in north carolina for

sure. as the numbers come in, as you see 80 to 90% of premiums paid, themm of uninsured -- the number of uninsured are going down. for kay hagan, she's up for re-election in a state that is not a blue state at a time it's not yet vogue to say hey, i like obamacare. it's not there. >> the american people seem schizophrenia. while the polls show a majority don't like paul carey. a majority don't want if repealed or replaced. it's an odd dichotomy. could the renewed push be because they think it's more of a winner than targetting obamacare or is it that they are realising that they can't focus on obamacare. >> it's a great question. what i think happiness is two separate issues.

there's a purpose behind having the benghazi, to have karl rove talking about hillary clinton. i think they don't want hillary clinton to run, and they want to scare her from running. as far as obamacare, they changed the dialogue and held the cards for a while. they repealed it, did the votes that many found annoying. close to 50 in the house. it's not an issue that will go away. benghazi is a momentary conversation. obamacare, affordable care will go to the next congress and presidential election as well. >> let's talk about the democrats. they can't field candidates in some races. the candidate in a close house race in florida that the democrats could have run dropped out because he padded his resume. mark stanford is running unopposed and john conyours a 25-term couldn't get on the

primary ballot because of issues with the signatures. are the democrats in total disarray as some have suggested? >> i don't think so. i think the only one that is indicative of disarray aside from john's staff disarray - i think you look at the 13th distribute in florida. that's a raws. there has been a special election, there was a state-wide - democrat alice lost to david jolly. he's the candidate. rather than go with manual sykes, the head of the local chapter. they found someone who was a former republican to run who backed out because he had other business to tapattend to. there was a question of his resume. the democrats poured a lot of money into the seat. it wasn't like they were a mess there. it was infer a democratic

stronghold. they had to see it for 144 term. >> when she ran for governor and lost to rick scott, it was one that could have been in play. >> they worked as hard as they could to put that in play. >> let's turn to another political topic that got a lot of talk this week. >> on sunday, marco rubio made comments about climate change saying that he believes it is changing, but doesn't believe that humans are the cause. and this came after dropping hints in his candidacy. he did some splaungs of that. he said similar things before. how big app issue is it if he runs for president. >> he's not running so much or worrying if he's the general

election candidate. he's trying to separate himself. if he gets to the general he cap say "i talked about climate change." there is a little bit of a climate issue that needs to be scuf. let's not forget marco rubio is running for senate if he doesn't get that. it's a state with low lying o front, you know, a lot of acreage there, an important issue. smart for the center of florida, and prudent for someone that wants to be president. >> he's been out front on immigration reform. the chamber of commerce is taking a stand on it. they had this to say... >> we are crazy if we don't take

advantage of having passed an immigration bill out of the senate, if the republicans don't do what they should. >> quick final question - do you think immigration reform will pass? >> i think it will pass before the republicans don't run a candidate in 2016. i think they'll get something done, if they have a window before the august recess. this is full circle to your question, is there disarray. they are talking about issues that they see are resonating with the people, and they have to get people talking about immigration, it's a reality and it noods to be ipp -- needs to be included in the calculus. it's a wake up call from the department of congress. time to see what is trending on the website. >> we talked about refugees. those forced to leave their country to escape war.

what about those displaced within their own borders. a u.n. vast report find for the second year in a row there was a record number of people internally displaced. last year it was over 33 million people that couldn't return to their homes. that is a 16% spike from 2012. from those newly displaced, half were syrians. 9500 were forced to leave the phones every day. 63% of the total number are from five countries. syria, columbia, sudan and nigeria. this is the first time nigeria made the short lift, figures provided by the government showing more than 3 million nigerians have been forced away from their ohms. attacks by groups like boko haram account for most of the new displacement in the country.

other sectarian conflicts are pushing people out of their homes. >> you can read more on the website. sharour comments and questions with us on twitter. this is also sobering. the average amount of time people are displaced is 17 years. >> 33 million dying every year. >> thanks. >> straight ahead. solving a mittry to lock at russia today through a family memoire from the granddaughter of a soviet union leader. >> why are so many moving. later, what is no mobile phone phobia and why do so many have it?

conclude trying to understand russia

is as hard as trying to solve a mystery wrapped in an enigma. it's as true today as when winston church hill first said it. >> for this woman, finding out the truth about her family history tells us a lot about the riddle of the former first family of the ussr and vladimir putin. joining us now is an associate professor in the graduate programme of international affairs, a fellow of the world policy institute and a member of the council on foreign relations. her latest book came out this week. it's a fascinating read. you said you started out thinking about writing a book about vladimir putin, but you realised you couldn't do that without looking into the family history first. >> absolutely. when i was thinking about vladimir putin, when he came in, and the promise that russia was

a democracy and vladimir putin comes in. institutions are being somehow similar institutions are being hampered. civil liberties and all the things that started to happen. i wanted to write about this. i thought about the gulag of the russian mine, how we end up with dictators, we have opportunities and reformers. then i was thinking the first man of the 20th century tried to go forward with democratic changes or humanistic changes and yet he kept coming back to his own despodic past and some of the stalin esque matters, even if he denounced stalin. >> you told a story about your great grandfather and he adopted your mother when your grandfather died. most americans think of him in

standard images, in slamming the shoe on the table in the united nations or the cuban missile crisis. you write, as you said about the reforms. that she instituted after stalin's death, that the thaw in the soviet union led to gorbachev and the soviet union. >> absolutely, as much as he wanted to caping, and he wanted to change, he wanted to change the dictatorial system. he started the exchange in the festival of use, and for the first time the soviets saw foreigners, and they were not evil as the stalinist was telling everybody. suddenly when he came to the united states, the first time in 1959, travelled all over the

place. it had debates with the rockefellers as the governor of new york, telling them how much better communism is, because he poor coal miner is in charge of the soviet union. he was trying to change. he brought the washing machine to the soviet union, because luxury products is not what they did. >> self-serve caf tearias. >> exactly. >> he tried. he opened the intelligence. arts was possible. fret reek pelini was shown, winning the moscow film festival. he tried, but was a despot that came out of stalinism. >> you wrote that he would have admired gorbachev but despondent over vladimir putin. >> yes, because like him he tried to change the system.

both were devoted communists. they believe that system, if applied correctly, and we haven't seen it applied correctly in any country. they believe if applied correctly it brings great good to the nation. with vladimir putin, i think he would agree with his idea that russia should be a great country and see a lot was self-serving. there's a lot of investigation or conversation of how rich vladimir putin is, and they would have despised the whole kind of getting wealth through strange means. >> an incredible story is he was deposed in 1964, the soviet government was taken over by stalinists who took russia and the soviet union back to where it had been. you were able to go to an elite school. they didn't ovt ra size you and your family, but they eliminated them from the history books.

there was no reference to him and big you studied. >> there was nothing. it was as if when i went to school from 1964 to 1985, that he did not exist. anything in the soviet union was done by the communist party of the soviet union, which is remarkable because everything in the soviet union is about the tsar or the leader. in a sense, what he did was allowed for him to be retired. he was the first leader retired in russia and the soviet union, he didn't die, he wasn't killed and was able to do farming that he loved. i continued to go to very elite school, and so that is something that he did. he opened up the system and the stalinists, as you call them, they couldn't close it completely. >> and he is your grandfather who died during world war ii, and you bring up how he then

later - a story was built about how he'd been a traitor to the nazis. we will not have time to get into that. but i'll leave it as a tees. the book is full of fascinating characters and full of history. it gets you inside the russian mind. >> thank you. >> great to have you on the sow. >> coming up, so many americans are so attached to their smart phones, there's a name for the anxiety people suffer when they leave them at home. first, a surprising drop in kids playing a popular teen sport. that's our data dive

today's data dive picks up a ball - or maybe drops it. the sports minister actively take part in are changing, according to 538.com, more of us are walking, jogging and taking part in triathlons, fewer are playing football, going horse back riding or participating in sports you play in a bar. the sports and fitness organization polled 25,000 and found adventure racing. including tough mudder and others shot up 22% in the past five years. who wouldn't want to run through ice water and dodge trick wires. they are among several sports to jump in the past five years,

whether it's kayaking or trail running. participation in yoga and spinning has gone up. fly football and touch football is among the decliners. sports people play with a beer in their hand, like darts and pool - it's also going down. if you hadn't noticed paint ball and roller blading seemed to have been left behind. youth participation in the four most popular sports, soccer, basketball, baseball and football is dropping. total participation for those fell 4% from 2008 to 2012. basketball fell the most, more than 8%. sports are a major defense against kids becoming over weight. the numbers of 6-12-year-old that didn't participate in any sport shot up. big money is involved. kids participating in baseball fell by 7%. sales of batts shrank 18%.

sales of football fell by 5%, the same amount that the level of participation among kids fell. the reasons vary. cuts to phys ed programs, higher cost, cuts to phys ed and technology. in fact, coming up we look at separation anxiety from your smartphone - it's a real thing. we explain

if you find yourself getting anxious when you forget your mobile phone at home or when you can't get a connection, you may suffer interest no-mo-phobia. no mobile phone phobia. it may sound funny, but the anxiety is real. 60% of men and half of the women studied said they were afraid of

missing something if they briefly fell out of touch. in the u.s. where a pew research poll showed 90% of adults owned a cell phone. 67% checked the phone for messages. 44% slept with their cell phone next to their bed and 33% couldn't imagine living without their cell phone. i'm joined by clinical psychologist dr katherine stein 'em odare. and she has a book out. you said when you wrote your book some people you smoke to said "my smartphone is my blanky, i feel anxious without it." are people psychologically dependent on their phones? >> i think people are dependent on their phones. it's understandable why. they function in our lives in so many ways. people feel like the primary relation-is with their phone.

they look and check "who needs me, who loves me, who do i matter to, who thinks i'm apparent." that's a tricky thing. >> a study presented to the british psychological society, but not published, said that when it came to managing social lived 40% of adults and 60% of teenagers believed they were addicted. >> the language of addiction is a strong language. there's a continuum between loving our phones, feeling psychologically depend on it, and there are some that become what we look at as a true addiction, whether to smartphone or computer. we are seeing signs of addiction. i experienced what happened with after shocks i felt them.

cell phone people are stressed when phones are turned you have. they are feeling alerts. it almost sounds path logical. >> well, it's a way in which we neurologically interact with technology. we get a reward, more when it's unpredictable. when the phone goes off, it's a little hit of a stimulant that makes you feel excited, and like you matter and are important or curious. it's the intermittent aspect that i think is psychologically very powerful. people have phantom ring syndrome. when the phone next to them goes off and it's a different tone from your top, you check your own phone as if it wept off. >> i -- went off. >> i know we all need others and need to feel needed. do we need it to that kind of extreme, becoming anxious.

>> that's one of the things that we are starting to understand, that some of the social networking sites, using the phone makes us feel lonelier. it can make you feel that you don't have as good a social life, when you look at everybody's perfect picture. you took 200, and you spent 50 minutes culling them. people are reporting, feeling like they are not as important or as glamorous or actually more difficult is people now are more aware of situations where they weren't included in social situations. >> that's the whole keeping up. facebook and instagram can create the problem and you can feel you're not having as great a life as others. is there a disconnect that we are not experiencing life as we

go along. we are at a great event where we are more concerned about documenting it than experiencing it. that's a challenging aspect of the technology. we are so photo and imaged based. that some of the kids i spoke to talk about how when they are prepared to go to a social event. they are not only worried as we saw, about being aware, but they have the additional pressure of thinking who will be in my picture. and how do i make sure i get a picture taken and there's another realm of social pressure about going out, which is the documenting of it. when i think about what we are thinking about. it's almost a selfie, an epidemic of self objectification, it's not the real me, it's posting.

i had conversations with high school kids. prom is a huge ordeal. full of wonderful moments and aghties. and a full schools the children decided to not bring their phones at all. the kids decided to leave the phones out, we'll have fun. there are ways to take carnal of this. >> that is something you address in your book the big disconnect. you write about a growing obsession, that our most important personnel connections are family. toddlers download apps. what are the consequences for individuals and society, how bad can it get. >> i introduced children before the powers of 4 and 18. the consistency - they are parents, they are rude.

they are helpful to them, they can feel bad. kids know that their parents would be in touch, and we lost the boundary and it will be challenging. kids will say, it hurts my feels when my dad - we are on the ski lift, "dad, do you really have to text." >> as the parent of an athlete i see how recommendations are made for parents to never be on the sidelines to look at the cell phone, if a kid looks over, that is something they don't like to see. what do you recommend for people who experience the no-mo-phobia? >> i think it's something you can take control of. you have to feel about how you'll outsmart your smartphone. have certain times of the day when you look. ask what are you worried about. the worst examples of anxiety is

when parents text and drive. and, you know, the thing that they are worrying about is when they here the ping, they go oh, my gosh are they safe. they worry are they in the back seat. neurologically when the phones go off. they make us feel like something is important. let's respond, and you have to ask yourself, can it wait, should is wait, am i in a safe place. there are ways to structure your day. it's not good to be on your phone in order to be in for your children first thing in the morning. check your email. they need your undivided attention. when you take them to school or pick them up, let the car be a criminal-free zone, where you talk. at bedtime don't text when you are reading a book or tucking to

your child. i can tell when kids learn the word hip crit. they say my parents are hypocrites - no devices at the table, no phones, and they are taking their callsful older kids say they are hypocrites because they get so mad at us when we are politely texting under the table. we are creating social norms for the generation of kids growing up in the digital age. when we are with one another or the people we love, and the phone goes off and we remove the focus and attention and eyes and love from them into the world of something, somebody s, it hurts, it's rude and we are not being our level selves in those moments when we are with the smart phones. >> so many issues raised by the books. "the big disconnect." a pleasure to have you with us. >> thank you. >> the show may be over but the

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