this is bbc news. the headlines. a tweet from president trump about his former national security advisor michael flynn has refocussed attention on what and when mr trump knew about his team's contacts with russian officials before he took office. in yemen, saudi arabia has welcomed an offer of peace talks from ex—president, ali abdullah saleh. his supporters are now fighting former allies on the streets of the capital sa naa. the family of former egyptian prime minister, ahmed shafik, say he's back in egypt after being deported from the united arab emirates. his return comes after he said he want to stand in next year's presidential election. the youngest patient on the uk's transplant waiting list has received a new heart. charlie douthwaite — who's just eight weeks old — is said to be making good progress after a nine hour operation. now on bbc news, radio 5 live presenter anna foster hosts the uk's biggest conversation about mums and mental health at this special event held at the iconic blackpool tower. hello, everybody.

we're here at the beautiful blackpool tower in this gorgeous circus to kick—start the uk's biggest conversation about mums and mental health. everything from post—natal depression, anxiety, loneliness, worklife balance, the whole lot. anything that you felt doctor about. —— felt or talked about. we're going to be live. we got a0 plus. but no, that's not impressive. dads, too. shout out to the dads. there they are. we will be discussing the facts, hearing personal stories and looking for solutions to the mental health challenges affecting so many mums and dads in the uk. we've got our gorgeous panel of experts and not to forget of course our mums who have joined us today.

lots of you from blackpool. and you can follow the conversation facebook, twitter and instant ram. —— instagram #mumta keover. and don't forget today is all about starting this conversation. is going to continue for a long time online. it's just a chance to share experiences, share your thoughts, your stories and sometimes it's just about hearing somebody say, you know what, i recognise that and i have been through it as well. other celebrity mums will head off into the audience and get themselves ready and it's a good time to meet our panel. hi. i'm annie and i'm the editor and chief of net mums. we are a place where eight million mums come and talk every month. and where they can offer peer—to—peer support, that invaluable support to get you through those tricky days. i am a perinatal psychiatrist consultant on the nhs and i'm also chair of the maternal mental health

alliance which represents 85 patients and professional organisations all committed to improving the mental health of mums and the outcomes for them and their babies. and also a presenter on the bbc two series, trust me i'm a doctor. see it in january. i'm claire law. i work for better start right here in blackpool. my role is to design new services from mums and dads with babies and young children as part of the better start your initiative. it is a national lottery funded initiative and it is all about improving outcomes. hi everyone. i'm a radio presenter and a dj. i had my first child last year. i struggled with my mental health in the month that followed her birth and ifeel like, because i got

through it all, i have so many tips and hopefully some really useful advice for you mums today. i'm so excited to be here. thank you. let's get this discussion started because we've got so many mums and so many fantastic stories to share in the audience. we'll begin with eve. eve, hello. hi. i was reading one of your posts online the other day, which was so much good information that i wished, to be honest, someone had given me on the way home from the hospital. tell us about your experience to start off with. i'm coming at this from having never had a mental illness and when i had my son seven and half years ago i developed postpartum psychosis and post—natal anxiety disorder. i didn't have the rush of love the people talked about. i have something very different and dramatic. i had a realfear of him and i thought he was evil, i thought he had been sent to destroy me. i had hallucinations that

i was floating in the air, or that i'd been buried alive. and i had never heard that having a baby could cause this. that was a complete surprise. because it seemed so extreme, the symptoms that you have. but they started to happen to me within a few hours of having my son and when he was six years old i was hospitalised in a psychiatric mother and baby unit to start my recovery. and it took me around a year and a half to recover from the symptoms i was experiencing because of the soap traumatising. —— it was so traumatising. i wrote the blog that i did the other day, because myself and my family had absolutely no idea where to go or who to talk to you. can you remember who you first went to? sometimes it is making that first leap, isn't it? trusting one person to tell. i remember five days after i had my son i went to the gp and said, had a very realfear of him and i didn't why. i didn't want to be near him. she told me that i needed some more sleep. and i saw another gp, and i've written about this,

and she told me to make a cake, get some new make up for myself and maybe start feeling a bit better for myself. where they well—meaning 7 it was just that they didn't understand. they were well—meaning but i think they hadn't ever seen anything like me and they were giving me the life they would maybe give to other people for when they come into them something very mild. —— giving me the lines. i genuinely think now, working how i do in this mental health, that they had never seen anything like me. really? and how do you. but once you've identified what the problem is and living through that, how do then start to things? what do they do to try make that better? the me going into the mother and baby unit was the single best thing i ever did. it saved my life. the day i went in there was the day i decided i wanted to die. i was heavily medicated. you say that so... casually is not the right word, but such a huge thing for anybody. i've come to terms of maleness

in the symptoms that happened to me and my friends always say, motherhood has been the making of me but not in the way i thought it was going to be. in a new side to myself, a massive strength and i have reached those steps. i thought us and want to be here. to see my recovery and how accepting help from proper health care professionals with medication, that it is all right to go into an in unit if need be and accepting that you need time and lots of support. i've accepted that. i've accepted the that i'm very much recovered. who have you got? i am here with fiona. you're the founder of young mum support network. you are an incredible woman. tell me your experiences of becoming a mum. so i became a mum 13 years ago. and sadly for me the person i became pregnant for told me i should terminate my pregnancy and if i didn't he would have nothing to do with her. so to date he has never seen her and he's never been in herlife.

so, that, for me, was a big shock. first—time pregnancy and being faced with rejection was really soul destroying but very embarrassing as well. you felt ashamed for being a single parent. idid. i felt ashamed. i felt that i was the only person had this experience and i didn't feel that i was allowed to enjoy pregnancy, if that makes sense. going for the appointment and suchlike that was very kind of... it wasn't fun. when you are dealing with a mum in that situation, what would you say? people must feel that same pressure. what do you say to try and reassure them. i think it's really important. what i'm hearing so far today is that there is this huge thing around stigma and actually people feel that it is their own responsibility to seek help and access online chats. and there is that, of course, but i think it's really important that professionals and people working with young mums or dads

that work in children centres that work out in the community, that we really upskill workers and community members to actually reach out to people, to routinely ask about how they're feeling, are they 0k, have they had experiences of trauma or difficulties within their lives, just to make more normal to be asked so that we're not always putting the onus onto people defined to help themselves. —— people to find help. notjust mums today. dad as well. let's talk about that because i think they get overlooked. mark is the founder of others reaching out to campaign to raise awareness about post—natal depression in families. can you tell us a little bit more about you and what you do and what you've gone through. i was uneducated about mental health. i was 30 years old. i remember going into the labour ward in these doctors came rushing in and said europe wife has had an emergency c section. i had my first ever panic attack.

i've never had one before. but my wife was going to die. she went on to have severe post—natal depression. wales have not got a motherand baby unit. add to give up myjob, after her and the baby. i had a new mortgage, credit cards, eventually i started to get depression as well myself. suicide thoughts around for five month mark. i suffered in silence for six years. my wife got well and it wasn't until later had a full on breakdown. i suffered from the feeling ofjust man up, coming from a community of kick—boxing. trying to be a man. it took a breakdown. my physical health was great but by mental health deteriorated to the point then i had a full breakdown. and the panel, do feel we just overlook dads? that we forget them? it was interesting hearing you talk about your wife's emergency c section because i had won my husband said afterwards that in that situation he felt very left out.

——i had one as well and my husband said. like he was a spare part, like he was in the way. and afterwards, you are trying so hard to help your wife that you felt that you may be to the back—seat, i bet. i never told my wife how i was feeling because it did not want to impact on her mental health. i suffered for years and i didn't know that the nightmares and flashbacks and thinking my wife died, waking up in the middle of the night, what i knew now is pts. i want to explain to men, the quicker you get the help the quicker the recovery is. where are you, carla? i will climb stairs to find you. it's great to see you. tell us about your situation. because you started feeling that isolation, didn't you ? after having your kids. yes. my son was born seven weeks early. i had something called placenta praevia so i had bleeds every week in the lead up to my

wedding and my sons birth. the week before the wedding my dad has a massive heart attack and couldn't walk me down the aisle and then my son came seven weeks early. so i had post—natal depression, quite badly, and anxiety. and initially, at the time, i don't think you actually realise you have got it. i was just thinking, though, is this what being a mum is like? i didn't enjoy it but i daren‘t say i didn't enjoy it ijust pretended that everything was great. i remember when the midwife would say, are you 0k? i would say yes. why did you say yes? to be honest, what you spoke about, really. i was terrified i might get my son taken away from me. i'm normally quite a social and happy person so i felt like i had to keep that persona up and then behind closed doors i was just a mess, really. i didn't sleep much at night. i was just worried all the time about death, to be honest. for some reason i panic about death anyway.

the fact that me and my son came so close to death, really worried me. who of you got with you next? i'm here with kerry and we've been having a chat about how everyone talking sparks more thoughts for us. and kerry has one child but she's also stepmum to lots and lots of children. but she is also blind so that feeling of being excluded and not being included is very different for you. what you like to ask the panel today? what are you doing to support people out there with disabilities? what are you doing? people make a lot of assumptions. you know, what resources are there? why don't you take this one, alan? a lot of what you do is push people in the right direction. specifically with regards disabilities we mustn't forget that that mental health problems can also be a cause of disability. traditionally, we think

about physical health problems causing disability but people with mental health problems quite often can't even get out of bed, can't get dressed, can get out of the house, so i think it is important that we look at disability across its breadth. a key point is that people disabilities have very individual needs, whatever disability it is. so it's really important to surround ourselves as best we can with a network of people to help and support as, just friends and family. and then to seek professional help. without any sense of shame, and it is easily said, but difficult to do, but maybe our friends and family can support us to seek the help that we need. who have you got with you? and you blog about being a parent. you got a strong message that you wanted to talk about today. it is difficult for asian mums to come out about being mentally depressed and everything like that so ijust wanted to know

what could be done by you guys or anyone in higher organisations to make it seem more comfortable for months to come out about their mental health? asian mums, definitely. you were nodding at me. i am an asian mum. i think that culturally there was a lot of pressure when you even just get married in our culture. there is a lot of pressure before you get married to get married and then children. the business microscope that the family put over you. in our culture there is so much pressure and there is stigma. we don't talk about being depressed. it is not the done thing. you don't see a lot of asians on tv on jeremy kyle and shows like that talking about their problems. we just don't do it. it isjust not done. but i think the best thing that you can do is what you are doing.

setting up these forums and telling all of the mums out there that is ok. it is a generational issue. i think it is because our parents are old school in theirthinking. it is amazing having support. albeit overbearing support, it is still support. i could not have got over my struggles with post—natal depression if it was not from my mother's support, allowing me to get sleep. taking the baby so i could have a bath. those things are so important. if it is overbearing, it can be hard to deal. you just have to make the decisions as a parent and stick to them. we are speaking about a lot of our guests today have found it helpful to channel something, whether it is talking about it, whether it is helping other people, like you were just saying. education has been a channel for you, hasn't it? yes, definitely. i was 18 years old when i had my baby. it was about, you know, it was really difficult. i lost all my friends.

i have lost, you know, all of that sense of... your life is very different. you're instantly separated, i guess, if yourfriends going through the same thing as you. i think what really did help me was going back to school. when i was in year 12, i had my baby then i went back to year 13 and went into university. being a part—time mum, you know, part—time mum, part—time student. and being around people my age, doing things that matter to me and feeling like i was working on my own and feeling like i was working on my own future, that was really helpful because, yes, hearing someone actually speaking openly about feeling suicidal, it happens to a lot of mums and you feel guilty for then feeling that way. you feel selfish, you feel angry with yourself and i think actually, getting out there and doing things for you,

i think the mum bit is something that for all of us here that will always be there, right? it is a big thing. thank you for coming today. thank you. that moves us into the final topical talk about his worklife balance. and of all the times you feel guilty probably that moment, maybe it is the first time you go off to work after having a baby. you go back after maternity leave or it is when you're a late home one day and you missed dinner, you must bedtime. those bits of guilt are really difficult to deal with. mum guilt seems to be a running theme. definitely. i've got a really poorly husband and i beat myself up every day, thinking that maybe, you know, i could be a better mum, but i don't think i can be a better mum so it's quite emotional, sorry. it's totally fine. you beat yourself up for what reason? just basically being a mum and dad.

you got a lot on and you have to take a minute for you. and it's ok to down about it and it is ok to feel that. i think generally, if we didn't feel mum guilt we essentially wouldn't be a mum, right? that's your job. it's yourjob to look at and you want the best for them 24/7 so if you feel that you're not giving everything, you going to feel mum guilt. but that's because you're spending yourself thing maybe and you've got a lot done. yes, i mean, everybody says to me you're doing an amazing job, i do know how you do it. and it's like, i stand back and i think, how am i doing this? it's kind of like autopilot. you just do it. you focus on your work, what you got to do after work, how many hospital appointment you've got to go to. the tests, the tests that are coming up, the results to wait for,

and it'sjust like every day is a battle. it is dads well. i feel like my role today is to bring the dads in. bring them in, bring them in. i have sam and kevin with me. how have you been finding today and has anything resonated with you? ifound there have been so many inspirational points made in so many amazing stories. a couple of times i've gone to break into applause but there are sleeping babies around this area so would not have been a good idea. it's been great to listen to all those stories. as a dad myself, i'm a stand—up comedian as well, so i've always been very comfortable talking about my own insecurities and my own feelings because that's where comedy lives. you don't get laughs from talking about how you had a great day. we've all got one friend who is like that and they've got no good stories whatsoever. but when i started blogging about being a dad, it's mainly women and mainly mums

who read my blog. they were often coming in, saying i'm glad someone has been honest about this but that was never something i set out to do. it was just a case of, i didn't know what i was doing either and it was nice to hear that there was a conversation starting between people who were all so feeling comfortable admitting that they were struggling. it is the point that people have brought up a lot today. i'm really impressed that there are men coming here talking about this as well. i was a teenage parent at 17. when i found out i was a father, i was very isolated. i didn't hang around with a good crowd. i remember being in my business class in college not talking to anyone in the classroom because i felt that i was different from everyone. and i think it's important for us to talk about this, you know. we are heading to the end which is why wanted to speak to danielle. you've got a really good question to ask which kind of sums up everything that we talk about. it is almost impossible, really, to work out a path through life, isn't it?

and your question is about it all, really. just tell me about your story. my name is danielle. i am a mum to an 18—year—old son and my second son -- 18 —— 18 —month—old enders. my second son was stoutly stillborn ten months ago. i work as a public affairs manager and before my anders, i wasn't one ounce maternal at all and don't really think about having babies or anything. when i went back to work, i found it incredibly difficult to try and give 100% to work, which is what i had always done. and 100% to anders, who was my whole world. and ijust wondered if anyone here had the secret to the elusive having it all. i find it completely impossible, having half of it, to be honest. so if anyone can share anything with me

that would be wonderful. i'm a perfectionist type personality who always give 150% of everything thinking that everything have to be perfect. and i've had come to accept, and actually i am a big believer now, the 70% rule. don't tell my boss this. but that 70% is enough. do you know what i mean? nothing has to be perfect. no—one is perfect. there are only 24 hours in the day and half of those you should be asleep so you can only do what you can do. let's just get some final thoughts from our mums and from our panel. because i think two hours have flown by, but one thing that has been really obvious throughout is the themes. the fact that even though we are all separate people, different lives, we all have the same fears. i think we can do look at other people think they have got it all. and we don't look at, we don't see what's going on behind closed door, the thing of two hours flying by, we can all talk about

being a mum endlessly. you know, you never run out of topics. you never run dry. and ifind it fascinating talking to people because, you know, people of all walks of life we have the same problems, same issues. the more that we share, the more that we can create more the community. i think there is a bit of grass is greener thing. like, i feel guilt for being a working mum and i know that stacey and with all spoken about. but i love the fact that you touched on earlier that you feel like you should be a working mum. so i think either way you going to feel some sort of guilt. i feel really happy that we've confirmed that were all going to feel that. do you know what? it is just so inspiring to be in a of people, men and women, who are all on the same common ground, who have all come together to support one another because we all know that we are facing quite an impossible task. nobody is perfect but we're doing

a good job, every single one of us, and as long as we stick together and we're there for each other when we need it, everything is going to be 0k. no matter what, as long as you unconditionally love and support your children, you are doing the right thing and you're doing a great job. and if you take away thejudgemetn as well. if people stops judging each other. it is something within you, you're trying to come to terms with something that you're doing. forget about it. you're doing what you're doing. don't compare, don'tjudge. we are amazing. thank you, everybody. thank you to our incredible panel and guests. and to you, every single person in this room. all of our incredible mums, everyone online. thank you so much, everybody. applause thanks mums and dads. it has been a bitter week that it

will be slightly less cold this weekend. further afield in adelaide, it is warmer but some interruptions because of showers on saturday. fewer ones on sunday, still brisk and here, temperatures are below par, they should recover as we had a week. despite increasing clout on saturday we had a little late evening sunshine in kent. i'm hopeful we will see a bit more sunshine through the day ahead and slightly less cold conditions, particularly in the south. at the moment we have quite a bit of cloud tripling its way southwards. the wea k tripling its way southwards. the weak weather front, but it is bringing some patchy rain and drizzle with mr low cloud and hill fog. devon north, yes, the cloud brea ks fog. devon north, yes, the cloud breaks and clear is that it could turn a tad chilly. a custom front, a little bit of fog here but for many, it shouldn't be frosty first thing.

but it will be rather grey and murky, hill fog around, patchy drizzle as well, and the weather front they will drag its heels across the southern parts of england, across the west and into the west of wales, it will be with us the west of wales, it will be with us in northern ireland and some early brightness perhaps here, a decent start across scotland, bolt on tongio, a few showers and a brisk wind in the north—east, the potential for wind in the north—east, the potentialfor morning wind in the north—east, the potential for morning fog and frost in the glens but it should lift and we should see some good spells of sunshine. actually, the cloud will thin and break across the rest of southern britain but it may hang around in cornwall, western parts of wales and it drift eastwards across northern ireland to western scotland to the west of northern ireland may and brighter spells later in the day. in contrast yesterday, a little bit cooler in the north—east but actually feeling a bit more mild further south as temperatures were —— were not so low to start. through the night, the cloud gradually easing eastwards but where there are brea ks easing eastwards but where there are breaks in the cloud it will turn

chilly but also we could have some fog from the monday morning rush and see east anglia, the midlands in particular but otherwise it is here where once the fog clears we could see brightness and some sunshine again to day, relatively mild compared with last week, ninth and 10th, but quite a bit of cloud, shari rain coming in, although it will be light and patchy because it is under the influence of high pressure over the next two or three days at a high pressure is keeping the weather front at bay but this does have our name on it. this will come into wednesday and it looks particularly nasty, actually, wet and windy weather to keep our eye on. but between now and then, quote overnight conditions. as ever, plenty more on our website. goodbye. hello and welcome to bbc news — i'm reged ahmad. president trump has suggested he knew that his former national security advisor, michael flynn, had lied to the fbi about his contacts with russia. in a tweet, the us president said general flynn had acted lawfully, but had to be sacked for dishonesty — a charge mr flynn admitted on friday.

the controversy comes after mr trump secured what's being seen as the first big legislative achievement of his presidency — a tax reform bill. 0ur washington correspondent, laura bicker reports. donald trump's started the day on a bullish note. he is on course for a much—needed win on tax reform, he brushed aside