this is bbc news. the headlines: at least 1a people are known to have died in the massive storm which brought destruction to the north of the philippines. typhoon mangkhut ripped through the main island of luzon tearing off roofs, felling trees and triggering more than a0 landslides. many remote areas remain cut off. authorities in the us have warned that storm florence is "farfrom done." the weather system has caused catastrophic flooding across both north and south carolina. officials say at least 12 people have been killed and hundreds of thousands of homes are without electricity. the british prime minister, theresa may, has passionately defended her plan for brexit, and added she gets a "little bit irritated" about how long she'll last in thejob. in an exclusive interview with the bbc, she said "this debate is not about my future, but the future of the people of the united kingdom." those are the latest headlines. now it's time for bbc ouch. music.

applause. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome your posts thoughts and night, lost voice guy. —— welcome your host for tonight. welcome back to bbc ouch, storytelling live. tonight we will be hearing stories from disabled people and people with mental health difficulties on the subject of going out.

i am lost voice guy and i'm your host for the evening. i got the train to the gig today. i always like to sit in those seats for disabled people. it's just easier to get off. here when anyway, i was in that seat and was about halfway here when another disabled person got on and asked me to move. i'll be honest, i did not realise i'd be playing disabled top trumps when i got on. or i would have dressed more special. needless to say i didn't move. who cares if he was both blind and deaf? i was there first. it was very awkward. he couldn't see that i was still there and i couldn't tell him i wasn't moving because i can't speak. he wouldn't have heard me anyway. in the end, i had to throw

his guide dog a stick. laughter. i didn't mean for them to end up under the train. are you ready to welcome your first act? yes! please welcome to the stage philip henry. applause. hello. ok, let's face it. there's nothing sexy about diarrhoea, is there? and as that is the main noticeable symptom of crohn‘s disease,

this inflammation of the digestive tract stopped me dating for years. if you can imagine someone slipping a high—power laxative at some point every day and you and had idea what was going to go off, that's what it is like living with crohn‘s disease. and that's what it is so hard. have you ever tried to be romantic shouting through a toilet door? it's not easy. i decided to give dating another try. i want to tell you how that went. before the dark times, before the crohn‘s war began, i clocked the nakedness of her ring finger. she was single. i asked her out on a date and she said yes. numbers were exchanged. a place was agreed. time and date was set. i figured all i really needed was one good date. that would lead to a second and hopefully a third. three dates was the time to drop the crohn‘s bombshell, i figured, because up to two dates, you can bail,

you have to have a good reason. i figured no woman would be crass enough to say "it's because you have a chronic illness and i think it would be a real drag." you think my body would be complicit in this nefarious plan, but no, it was not to give me three trouble—free dates. it wasn't even going to be one trouble—free date. i walked in and i saw her there. she looked really good. i could tell she made an effort. she wanted this to work as much as i needed the toilet. so i bolted. and i made it to the cubicle with nanoseconds to spare. i finally got off the toilet and left the cubicle. and i saw these two lads standing at the sink kind of daring each other to take an ecstasy pill, so i walked up to them, took an immodium. third one tonight, guys! so after that, i went out

and after cursing the taxi driver for making me late, we had dinner. i had the steak and chips. i was hoping it would settle my stomach which was alternately a washing machine. we talked during dinner, and she was lovely. she laughed at myjokes, even the really crap ones. so this was going great. and there was a band playing across the street and we decided to go over and it was a lovely night. we took our time and i put my arm around her waist as we walked and she put her head on my shoulder. i thought, for one second, iforgot there was a date saboteur hiding in my intestinal tract. we watched the band for a while and then it started. just the odd little twinge at first but i knew that foreshadowed

something like a fire hose being shot down the toilet. my stomach was like the engine room of the enterprise and i could hear scotty saying "the warp core is going to breach, captain! i cannae stop it!" so i scanned the pub for the toilets and i saw them at the far side. it was only a journey of a few seconds at maximum warp. so if i left now, but then — something i was not happened. she made the move. right? when i'd been trying to save the federation's flagship, her hand had been edging across the bench we were setting on towards mine. and had reached it now. she put her hand on top of mine and interlocked her fingers. she gave me a nice little grip. and i turned to her and she smiled at me. i thought, that the most romantic thing that's happened

to me in years! and i wanted to tell her that. and so much more, i wanted to reciprocate but instead, i said, "i think i see someone i know. back in a minute!" and with that, i ran into the toilets. as i sat there in the cubicle, my stomach sank in a way that had nothing to do with crohn‘s disease. when i went got back to the bench, her hands were folded over her stomach. the conversation was polite but dry. i had embarrassed her. she had made the move and she thought i had rejected her. there was only one thing to do. lydia, i didn't duck into the toilet because of you, the truth is, ijust saw my crazy ex. if she saw us together she would have gone mental. it was pathetic. and it was the most transparent and obvious lie i ever told. and she bought it! applause. 20 minutes later, we're

in the back of taxi, snogging the way to her flat. ten minutes later, in bed together. an undisclosed amount of minutes later, we are lying back smiling. i fell asleep that night content and with no more emergencies reported by scotty. and then the morning came. mornings have always been the worst time for me. it's always a sprint to get to the bathroom in time. so when i looked around her strange bedroom i did not where the bathroom was. i knew i was in trouble. i looked at the space next to me in the bed. she was there. i pulled on my boxers and it ran out of the bedroom. i saw the shower... "will you be long ? " "give me 10 or 15 minutes."

are you joking? there is no way i can hold on for 10 or 15 minutes. my sphincter was already at maximum clenching intolerance. i looked around but it was too much to hope that this little flat had two bathrooms, so i ran up the hall looking for anything that might do it. then i saw it. i considered it for a good few seconds, considering the logistics. before deciding the cat's litter tray was not a good idea. i ran into living room and i scanned it quickly. there were two large vases. let's call that plan b. the sweat was dripping off my forehead at this point and i ran into the kitchen, and there i saw the answer to my prayers. the kitchen bin. right? it was seat height, had a bin liner

and next to it on the counter was a roll of kitchen tissue. so with one deft move i turned, pulled my boxers down and started running towards it. my sphincter had conceded defeat by this point. the airlock was open, the cargo was rushing towards open space. i had one shot at this. when lydia arrived, rubbing her damp hair. she stopped at the threshold of the kitchen. and her mouth dropped open when she was seeing. "you made me breakfast!" i nodded and ushered her towards the table and the mug of tea... as she sat down she looked up at me shaking her head and said i can't believe you did this. and i said, "i also emptied your bin." applause. thank you very much! that was philip henry. please welcome to the stage your next storyteller,

lucy. applause. hello. my story is about my experience with going to a wedding as bridesmaid 470 miles away when i was an agorophobic. i had a very specific type which is that i had a fear of staying anywhere away from home. beyond the usual stuff of what to where and who to avoid and who you might get off with, i had a couple of concerns preying on my mind. the thing with agorophobia is people think it's just you cannot leave the house at all. and i guess that's the kind of extreme and and what i started out with. what happens for a lot of people with agorophobia is you end up

with a very specific situation or type of place you cannot go to. and for me, that was anywhere other than my flat, my mum's and my nan's. this wedding was in scotland. all the places i could stay that were safe were sort of london, you know, down south. this kind of ended up becoming my nemesis rather than the sort of event that it should be about which is the celebration of love. the thing is it sort of takes over your brain with a different kind of logic. it is irrational and i can say that now because i have managed to stay places overnight and i see it does not lead to the end of the world. it's kinda like this fear creeps in that if you stay somewhere that does not seem safe you're going to be trapped and then you can have a panic attack and then probably another one and then it's just to get worse, and that even the slightest thought of staying somewhere, you think, "there is a slight chance i might be trapped, like, if the night bus has

a problem, what am i going to do?" after a while, because you're not going anywhere, you just can't do it. for this wedding, i was a bit stuck. my friend emma, whose wedding it was, is a lovely person. she said it's going to be a white wedding and is going to be in rural perthshire. the middle of nowhere, at a castle. i noticed there was a 14—hour coach from dundee to london. as long as i don't sleep for for 24 hours, i can be bridesmaid and not stay anywhere. you think this would have calmed me down a bit of the way it works is your brainjust kicks in with a new set of worries, and so on the day, i found myself thinking about what if it actually doesn't turn up? this coach might be wrong. it might be that it doesn't run. if you've got a fear

of being trapped, when you're standing in from hundreds of people, a bit like now, there is nowhere else you can go. and i thought, i can't sort of freak out, not least because i'm supposed to be calming the bride down. but then i spotted a field of sheep. then i thought, concentrate on the sheep. they look really peaceful and lovely. and all the photographs in the ceremony, i look quite relaxed and romantically wistful. after that i thought, i've survived, so that's fine. i can do a countdown to when i can leave. so i experienced the rest of the wedding as a kind of time points when i could think, two hours and counting, hour and a half, that got me through the champagne and that stuff. i started putting together my kit. it got to the point where we were going for the meal. this is normally where weddings really hot up and you get lovely speeches. this the bit where i relaxed.

i only had half an hour left, and i thought, excellent. i noticed people were quite nice and it was like, this wedding business is not all bad, is it? because the food was tasty and the tables look beautiful and the bride looks nice. i thought, it's actually quite sad that i can't stay. i had this moment where ijust thought, i would love to be able to do stay when this stuff. i can see they're gonna have a great time. but that was not enough to override the bit of my brain panicking. so i still left. and i got my coat and i thought, excellent! is the way to do it! this is brilliant! i sat on the coach thinking i managed it. idid it. and about at four in the morning, i was taking a clap service station, like the last of the stinky pasties and you have to pick something to eat. ithought, i've been on a bus for eight hours, i'm in this horrible place and i still feel lucky. there might be something slightly wrong with my reasoning.

and that was the first point where a thought, yeah, maybe this phobia thing is not just a way of dealing with this panic. perhaps there's something a bit off. and i wish that was the moment where i corrected and done travelling the world in my life had suddenly been changed. it was not. it took me three more years before i managed one night away with my mum, and i still booked a secret flight the next day because i did not think i could do the second night and i thought the first was a fluke because i was not ill. the main thing is although doing it that way, i wouldn't recommend it as a way to do weddings, i was probably the worst bridesmaid in the history of ever. idid i did what something most agoraphobics weights do and that is to go out. ladies and gentlemen, let's hear it once more for the wonderful lucy! cheering and applause.

now your final of the evening, a brilliant comedian who i know very well and always loved working with, she took my ipad off me earlier and typed it herself. please welcome laura. applause hello. oh, what a beautiful night. thank you so much for coming and for having me here. i suffer from depression. and generalised anxiety disorder and i've chosen to be a comedian. we can chat later. i had a very specific thing happened to me. i used to be the happiest person you'll ever meet and then a few years ago, but what if a husband and i decided to start trying for a baby. i love my husband more than anything and i love babies more than anything, sol

thought this would work. we will get our wet bits together and make a video varane. that's a fun way to do it. —— make a baby and i will be fun. i was diagnosed with depression and generalised anxiety. we found out that my husband cannot have children because of my personality. if you are making a noise now, you're going to be in trouble by the end of the show. i got depression instead of a baby. it turns out depression and children in a very similar things. all my friends have got kids now. i've got a 22—month—old depression and you cannot tell me apart from a new mum friends. we're all overtired, we all have stains on our clothes and none of us are fun at parties. ijust go to quieter support groups. i named my depression. i thought when life hands you lemons, all my friends with flesh babies have named this, what shall we call the misery foetus?

it's quite hard though. what call a ball of obsessive thoughts? they name their kids after it was conceived so i... isis for short. figured it works. name depression after a terrorist cell because that's what it is, hard to pin down, underpins your hope in the future and articles about it in the tablets tend to be dangerously misguided. it's a funny life, being depressed. i see a therapist. i decided be quite open about it. technically i'm on my second service because my first one that signed off with stress. i think it means i won. i take antidepressants too, and this is a contentious subject, isn't it? people don't tend to talk about. i did not talk about it for a long time. i was absolutely petrified of people

knew i was on antidepressants that it would kill my career. i'm a self—employed stand up comedian. who wants a sad clown? i was scared people are weird about antidepressants. they want them to be perfect but what cure is? for a few days and after four days, they taken off and say, you know what? that is making it hard to walk. i could not do anything that i thought might increase the environmental impact of my life and i started out being a very normal environmental he aware person and send to a point i cannot do anything if i thought it would hurt the environment. as i got better, i had to learn to go out again. the first place i went was a soap shop. is the first place you can smell when you go to the town.

i thought here we go, i can do this. here we go, i can do this. the next place i tried was a department store. department stores are nerve—racking whether you are me or not. they are a lot more intimidating and especially the cosmetics department. i set myself the task of buying a small part of makeup removing soap. i had this soap are for. i thought to how hard can this be? i was ready for the interaction! i'm ready for the stupid questions! because salespeople try and make you feel insecure, don't they? i'm ready for it. i don't need any help with that. i walk up to the counter... she starts with the stupid questions. the first one is, what is your skin regime currently like? now, i don't have a skin regime. skin regimes, to me, are like recipes with more than 8 ingredients. you read about them in magazines but you're never actually going to do them, are you?

regime isn't a positive word. i don't want a military takeover of my face, thank you very much. she says, what's your skin regime like? i'm stood there looking at her and i can feel isis kicking off. this is why new mums don't get out of the house very often. he's going to humiliate me in a department store. i can feel him kicking off and i think, i wish i was this me, i wish i was the me that i think is capable of so much. i wish i was material because if i was this me all the time, i would look here in the eye and go, listen my love, i do not have a skin regime. i only really started taking my makeup off before bed when i bought white pillowcases. i moisturise when i can. obviously she is not done. just more questions. she raises her eyebrows at me, and by i raqqa drawing of an eyebrow.

—— i mean. does your skin feel tight? if i was still laura, i would say, my skin does not show tight. my skin is the one thing i wear everyday i wish i did not buy a size bigger. my skin has always had my back. it just expands production to suit the doughnuts i've had. it's excellent. leave it alone. i can't do thatm you have not got that and i'm shaking. the chills are kicking in and i'm thinking, maybe i should not have even tried to do this. it is to be to try it. i say, sorry, i'm in a hurry. and i think she's going to give me the soap. she slides it across the counter and then stops and read it as if she's a pharmacist or something.

she reads the box and she says, what skin type do you have? i don't know the answer to this. i'm exhausted. stood there so humiliated. thinking, i don't know, a negative? it's been a while since i donated. i don't know. can i please have the soap? and i have not got anything and isis is in full meltdown mode and i'm humiliated. i've got nothing. i'm just sitting here thinking, how can i get out of this? she asks me the question again thinking she's being professional. she says to me, sorry, what skin type do you have? i said, i've always been white. it is not the right answer to that question. i did not buy this soap, ijust had to wheel isis back out of the shop.

i won't buy it, i will buy pillowcases with a clown face on it and it will stay on. thank you very much. applause let's hear it again for the amazing laura. applause this was bbc ouch, storytelling life. heard from tonight. i've been lost voice guy. thank you very much and good night. hello. there's the potential for turbulence whether in the forecast over the next few days and that is already making its presence felt across scotland, northern ireland, parts of northern england and north wales as this front works works its way south and east overnight, bringing heavy rain and gusty winds. through sunday, the frontal system is running into an area of high pressure to the south of the uk. through sunday, it will weaken. the rain will tend to fizzle out and we will be left with a band

of cloud and the odd spot of rain through the afternoon, stretching down through the midlands and south—west england. on either side, spells of sunshine. some patchy drizzle for the western isles of scotland where it will continue to be quite windy. elsewhere, the strong winds from overnight will ease down but still quite a breezy day and fairly warm across east anglia and south—east england. temperatures up to 22 or 23dc. elsewhere, generally 17 or 20 celsius, cooler for the north of scotland. keep an eye on the remnants of hurricane helene, no longer a hurricane but providing tropical moisture and energy to that area. it will strengthen the winds as we go through monday and pull some very warm and humid air across south—east england. on monday, a mixture of variable cloud and a sunny spells before the rain arrives

into northern ireland, western scotland. it will be heavy. some strong winds accompanying that with some very strong gusts as well. these are the average speed through monday afternoon. the gusts will be even higher. as we go from monday into tuesday, the gusts for the western isles of scotland could touch 60 or 70 mph. so we could see highs of 23. here is our area of low pressure marching across the western side of the uk into tuesday. notice the squeeze in the isobars. this is where we will see the strongest winds. across northern ireland, scotland and parts of northern england. on tuesday, and mixture of sunny spells and heavy showers, particularly the western side of england and wales. again, a windy day for all of us but still holding onto some very warm and humid air across south—east england where we will see that where we will see that which is up to 23 and 24. some sunshine here, yes, a very warm. but windy for all of us.

particular gusty for northern ireland and scotland. strong winds early next week, rain for the north and west. bye— bye. this is bbc news. i'm duncan golestani. our top stories: at least ia dead, as typhoon mankut wreaks havoc in the philippines. the full scale of the destruction is still unknown. warnings in the us that storm florence is "farfrom done". president trump declares a disaster in north carolina. the british prime minister defends her brexit plan —

but dismisses talk of a leadership challenge. this is where i get a little bit irritated. this debate is not about my future. this debate is about the future of the people of the uk and the future of the people of the united kingdom. and charting the polar icecaps from space. nasa's new mission launches a laser into orbit.