hello. it's thursday. it's nine o'clock. i'm victoria derbyshire. welcome to the programme. what's it like to be in love but never have sex? relationship experts have told this programme that they are seeing a rise in people living in low or no—sex partnership. i'm charlotte. i'm jacob. we've been together for four years. we haven't had sex for the last three of them and we're not planning to. yeah, we're very much in love but it's not part of our relationship. and figures today seen by this programme suggest almost one in five people under 30 in a relationship never or almost never have sex. you can watch our film at 9.15. nobody took charge during the chaos caused by changes to train timetables earlier this year. that's the verdict of the rail regulator in a report out today. we'll hear from the man representing the train companies and network rail. we are remorseful and we've apologised and we've given compensation to those regular customers who were severely inconvenienced. we apologised for it at the time and we continue to do so. the regulator blames

a lack of responsibility and accountability for the problems. we'll talk to passengers to get their reaction. and these sweets could help tackle dehydration in dementia patients. i have a number of care homes interested in trialling the jelly drops. while it is more expensive than drinking a glass of tap water, it is difficult to care for people and keep them hydrated. hello. welcome to the programme. we're live until 11 this morning. the question i want to ask you today is are you in a relationship and not having sex? let me know if that's you and tell us a little bit about why, if you don't mind. send us an email at victoria@bbc.co.uk. you can message you can message us you can message us oi’

you can message us or texas and you need to give your name. on a regular basis i do ask very personal questions on this programme and i never underestimate how difficult it can be to talk about personal stuff, so we are grateful when you do. thank you. our top news story today: the rail regulator says nobody took charge when new timetables were introduced in may, leading to weeks of chaos and hundreds of commuter services being cancelled every day. the office of rail and road has concluded that network rail, the two train companies involved and the department for transport all made mistakes and that passengers were badly treated. our correspondent tom burridge has more. for people commuting in and out of manchester, like marcus, it has been so bad recently he's sometimes been forced off the train. sometimes i've not actually been able to actually get on the train because it has been that packed. so i have had to either work from home or try to get my wife to drive me into work. new timetables in may brought chaos here. 300 scheduled trains

didn't run each day. on govia thameslink, nearly 500 services in and out of london disappeared into thin air. today, a report by the rail regulator. it finds network rail mainly to blame for causing the chaos on northern. infrastructure upgrades overran, and northern wasn't left with enough time to draw up and implement complicated new timetables. problems on govia thameslink were partly caused by a late decision by the department for transport on how to phase the changes in. then the train company failed to train enough drivers on new routes. today the government, which was forced to take control of the east coast main line, is launching a review of the railways. industry sources admit the system isn't fit for purpose. the review will look at fundamental questions, like whether the contracts between the government and the companies that run these trains need to be more flexible,

how to integrate the public track and the private trains, and whether the railways across the country need to be managed more at a regional level. and that's been the case on scotrail, where some say the track and trains are more closely co—ordinated. but the government's review will not consider labour's policy, that the whole system should be nationalised again. tom burridge, bbc news. today the transport secretary chris grayling rejected the idea that his department had not taken control of the situation. once we knew the scale of the problems, we did take charge. we had industry calls every day and we worked with the industry to put in place temporary timetables and we provided compensation for passengers and we set up the independent review. of course all this happened much too late and we should have been able to intervene much earlier. reality is we did not know. what the report shows is that the industry

moved ahead thinking it could deliver this. right across the industry people believed they could deliver the may timetable and they we re deliver the may timetable and they were wrong and we have got to make sure it can't happen again. our correspondent fiona trott is at preston station for us this morning. what a passengers saying about this report? they are saying they are not surprised. they know the railway industry failed to put their concerns first and most of the complaints came from this part of the world on the busy greater manchester to blackpool route where elective vacation works have been overrunning. they have been delayed by two years now. —— electrification works. that compounded the timetabling problems in the north of england. we is spoke to one man earlier who had his wages docked because the trains were consistently late. people here are welcoming the announcement by chris grayling today that there will be a review of the entire railway industry. and just remind us what northern trains are saying. you will remember that over

160 trains were cancelled back in june to try to relieve the timetabling chaos. northern today say that 99% of them are back and they also say that punctuality has improved. 87% of services have been arriving on schedule over the first two weeks of this month. northern said they are also making some changes. that report by the rail regulator says the company failed to keep customers in the loop. northern say they are investing £5 million on screens and public address systems to improve that. network rail says there is a new winter timetable coming into force in december which should improve things as well. thank you, the owner. the trot at preston station. sorry, you are there! —— fiona trott at preston station. please tell us your experiences on the railways up and down the uk. annita mcveigh is in the bbc newsroom with a summary

of the rest of the day's news. theresa may was given just ten minutes in the austrian city of salzberg last night to pitch her vision for brexit to the 27 eu leaders. the prime minister described it as a serious and workable plan. she urged those in the room to drop what she called unacceptable demands, and she again rejected any suggestion there could be another referendum. but the irish border remains a major sticking point, as our political editor laura kuenssberg reports. stuck? looking for a way out? the prime minister and other leaders have eight weeks to agree what happens to northern ireland after we leave. her plan says: it's the only credible and negotiable plan on the table that delivers no hard border in northern ireland and also delivers on the vote of the british people. but what we cannot accept is seeing northern ireland carved away from the united kingdom customs territory. but the eu club's plan is very different. they say northern ireland might have to follow eu rules if the big

brexit deal can't be done. i don't think we're any closer to withdrawal agreements than we were in march. so i can't report any progress at this stage unfortunately, but we'll keep on working on it. taoiseach, what happens if the eu doesn't budge on the brexit border issue in ireland? well then the united kingdom shall have to. the prime minister hopes by asking her peers directly, they will budge. they believe, in time, she will realise she has to move, but with a time now set for deal day, something, or someone, will have to give. laura kuenssburg, bbc news, salzburg. police investigating the suspected poisoning at a restaurant in salisbury on sunday, which led to a major medical response, are likely to examine if it was a hoax. alex king and his wife, anna shapiro, were admitted to hospital and later discharged. the incident happened just six

months after a nerve agent attack in the city. police sources said until the man had been spoken to, they can't rule anything out. a huge clean—up operation is under way after storm ali battered parts of the uk with winds of up to 100mph. two people died and thousands of homes were without power and lorries overturned during the severe winds. the met office has warned of a chance of injuries and danger to life as high winds threaten to blow tiles from roofs and fell trees. labour is proposing a major overhaul of the way the gambling industry is regulated. it says that a future labour government would ban tv advertising during live sporting events, introduce a levy on all gambling operators and an end to credit card betting. the advertising association has expressed concern that a ban will make live sports more expensive and less accessible. council bosses in england say the worst is yet to come in cuts to services,

as the government further reduces local authority funding. the county council network predicts cutbacks next year as local authorities identify at least £1 billion savings by 2021. it also warns the risk of some councils stripping their services back to a minimum core offering is growing. the government said councils will get a real terms funding increase in 2018—19. radio dj chris evans has become the father to twins, a girl and a boy, who he'sjokingly calling ping and pong until they‘ re officially named. the news was read out live on the radio 2 breakfast show this morning, which was guest hosted by sara cox. the statement, read out on air, said: "ping and pong arrived safe and well last night. ping popped her head out at 22.10. pong popped his head out 12 minutes later at 22.22. both healthy, both strong, happy

and blessed, as was mum throughout." we hope those names won't stick around too long! more news at 9:30am. congratulations to the evans family. thank you. we are going to bring yourfilm family. thank you. we are going to bring your film shortly about couples who rarely or never have sex. we would love for you to get in touch and share your experience. stephanie on twitter says: it is because we are career focused on working longer hours. anxiety. and we are resulted. vince says on twitter: i am sorry but that is just weird. they are blocking each other from finding a partner where they might have the fun of breaking an ikea bed. do get in touch. use the hashtag victoria live and if you are texting, you will be charged at the standard network late. now the spot. manchester city lost in a champions league last night. nobody saw this coming, really. manchester city,

premier league champions, the favourites with some bookmakers to become european champions, lost 2—1 at home to lyon. their first defeat of the season. it was pretty shambolic. they were just caught cold. the french took a 2-0 just caught cold. the french took a 2—0 lead. by half—time. a couple of tidy finishes. maxwel cornet and nabil fekir as well, who was unliveable's radar over the summer. that is pep guardiola in the stands serving a one match touchline ban. it was painful viewing for him. they did pull one back. it was 2—1 in the end. mikel arteta was in the dugout. did it make any difference having him in charge? i have no idea. if you know, i have no idea. that is something hypothetical. the reality is we lost the game. that is a reality. if he would have been in the touchline, i can't tell you if

they would have won 5—0 or lost 0—0. pep guardiola will be back in the dugout were they go to have an hand for the next champions league match. when they head to hoffenheim in 3 weeks' time. there was a relatively starightforward win for manchester united last night. they were in bern, facing young boys on an artificial pitch. paul pogba made the difference he scored twice and also set up anthony martial for another in the 3—0 victory. but the games are going to get much tougher because they have valencia and juventus in their group. cristiano ronaldo's game ended in

tea rs, cristiano ronaldo's game ended in tears, didn't it? yes, his first red ca rd tears, didn't it? yes, his first red card in 154 champions league appearances. this was against juventus in valencia. what was it? it took him ages to leave the field. histrionics. that was about three or four minutes after he was sent off. u efa four minutes after he was sent off. uefa could decide to increase that penalty which would see him miss a match against his former side manchester united. but juventus match against his former side manchester united. butjuventus did win on the night and i am sure cristiano ronaldo will be back. he has had a shaky start to life in italy. and we could see the world anti—doping agency lifting the ban on russia, couldn't we? yes, really important and controversial decision this would be, if they make it. it looks like they are going to. the world anti—doping agency, their committee meeting in the seychelles, a popular decision to go there! later they are expected to reinstate

the russia anti—doping agency. they have been bad for the best part of three years following allegations of state—sponsored doping. but once rusada gets his licence back, all russian sportsmen and women will be able to compete again but it will be very unpopular. many anti—doping agencies including those from the us and the uk feels that the russians are nowhere near meeting their original criteria for readmission which were laid down by wada. they said that the state was complicit in doping and they needed the lads to be transparent with their data. so many voices from within the sport. the athletes commission say it is

likely they will remain and but it sounds like wada will readmit them which will cause all kinds of problems in world sport. good morning and welcome to our programme. it is thursday already. are you in love but not having sex? you are not alone. leading sex and relationship therapists have told this programme that they are seeing a rise in people living in low or no—sex relationships. this comes as mumsnet and gransnet with relate have done their biggest ever sex—related survey of over 2000 people. they are exclusively sharing the results with us this morning which show that almost 1 in 5 people under 30 who answered the survey are in sexless relationships, which means they are having sex less than ten times a year. one in ten people responding to the survey also said they would rather read a good book than have sex although almost half of those answering the survey

said they were happy with the amount of sex they were having. so are more people having less sex? and does it matter? we went to meet three couples who are madly in love with each other without sex being a big part of the picture. if you've got children around and don't want them to watch this film, it lasts about 12 minutes. sex in relationships. are we all at it like rabbits? or does netflix and chill mean netflix and chill? is sex the secret ingredient when it comes to a long—lasting and happy relationship? or is it absolutely fine if the only action between the sheets is snoring? do we spend too much time worrying about whether our sex life measures up to other people's? and if sex drops off the menu completely, does that matter? and does it mean it's gone from your relationship forever? hi, i'm amanda and i'm 35 years old.

hello, i'm steve, and i'm also 35 years old. we have been married for five and a half years, just about six years. and how often would you say we have sex? i think probably on average, about every six weeks. the noise in the background may be indicative as to why. and we also have a 22—month—old son called elliott. who is trashing the place. hi, i'm charlotte. i'm jacob. and we've been together for four years and we haven't had sex for the last three of them and we're not planning to. yeah, we're very much in love but it's no longer part of our relationship. hi there, i'm steve. and i'm tom. and we've been going out now for four years and we've been married for a year and i've never had sex with tom. so we identify as asexual,

which means we have no sexual attraction to each other or anyone else but we're still very much in love. it's possible that people are having less sex than they did maybe ten years ago. we certainly seem to be seeing more people reporting that they are dissatisfied in their sexual relationships. whether that's a cultural shift in being more comfortable in regards to talking about sex, or people are having less sex, i'm not sure. would you say it was quite physical at the start when you got together? yeah. no. i wouldn't say so. i'm going to come off quite badly in this, aren't i? no, you're not, it'sjust the truth. when we get into a good run and have sex more regularly, it's great. when we have sex, we have good sex. that's true, actually. but the frequency has decreased for sure. and it depends on the fits and starts. the highs and lows you have. on average it would be twice a month, and you might have it three or four

times, two sets of two. even the other month, i think we're getting back. we have been getting better. it was like twice in two days. it was like, oh, my god! let's carry on. and then elliott started teething and it was like, let's not carry on. let's just lie here and go in a coma. and for once i was going to say a lack of sex life is down to me at the minute. i'm just so tired all the time. because myjob is full on, so it's full on there, and it's full on at home, and i don't cope when i'm tired. like steve just cracks on with it and he's fine, and he'll have the occasional outburst when he's a bit grumpy for a day, but i just totally shut down when i don't have enough sleep. ifind it hard enough to keep my mood up and sex goes to the bottom of it, it's like my libido isjust tired. we both identify as homo—romantic asexual which means that we are homo—romantic, so we're attracted to each other, both attracted to the same

gender, and asexual means that we are not sexually attracted to people or each other, so it's very different to celibacy. it's not a choice, it's a sexuality. and tell me about your first date. what was our date night like? the first date we had. we had an indian takeaway at my flat. first time you'd ever had one. first time i'd ever had an onion bhaji. we sat down, we ordered some food, we got the food delivered, we watched a film. halfway through the film i did the typical very sort of... and that was like the test. iremember it. i thought you'd remember that. and it's probably one of the best one night stands that we both ever had when nothing happened. it was brilliant. we sort of tried to see what worked for us for the first six months. it really wasn't making either of us happy. i'm asexual and some asexuals can enjoy sex, and that's quite normal, but lots of them don't. so i wasn't happy and jacob's

told me a lot of times that he doesn't want to be having sex with someone who doesn't want to be having sex, which sounds obvious, but a lot of people don't get that. ultimately we tried what was normal and that wasn't working, and it wasn't something that i felt was important beyond any other part of our relationship, and it wasn't something that was going well for us and it wasn't a deal—breaker in any sense of the term. i mean, it's fun, it's exciting and it's a big deal to some people, but ultimately i had a fantastic relationship with a wonderful person and it wasn't even slightly comparable in terms of what was important to me. i think people understand you can have sex without love, and people understand the concept of hookups and that kind of proves that they're separate

concepts that can exist individually. and i think it's extremely sad the way that some people prioritise sex over happiness. when you shouldn't be measuring it by the amount of sexual activity you get, you should be measuring it by how happy you both are, whether that involves sex or it doesn't. normal doesn't exist. it depends from couple to couple. it's about the quality of the relationship and it is about the desire of the two people in it. since elliott's come along, the one thing that has changed is daytime, like sex is not at night, it's harder to come by. he's up at six and we never are having sex in the morning. morning sex used to be the one time. because you can get it done, tick that box. but, daytime sex, afternoon sex, like with a kid around, that's not happening. even if you put him down for a nap, you've got a guaranteed two hours, you're just kind of like, no, ishould

probably do other stuff and if i'm not doing other stuff i should probably catch up on some sleep. i personally think people have had less sex forever. i don't think the kind of sexualised society we've got now is reflective of people having more sex, i think there's more pressure to have sex and maybe people are maybe forcing themselves to kind of have more regular sex, but if you look back in history there's always been this kind of theme around maybe spinsters or bachelors or people who don't kind of engage with that scene, i guess. but i think maybe there's starting to be a little bit of a counteractive movement against this really sexualised world. not necessarily in a rebellious, political way but in a silent way of actually it's ok not wanting to have sex, or it's ok having less sex. we have really unusual reactions to our relationship because people say, oh, you're just like a normal couple. and i say, well, i thought that's what we were. just a normal couple, but evidently not. when you think about it,

you wouldn't normally see a sexual couple in sexual situations, so we're no different. no, we're not. it'sjust we don't become sexual at home. as far as we go is cuddling and we don't really feel what we get up to at home is any different to what we do in public. and depending on how you look at that, what we would do, day to day, hugging and kissing, that's about as far as we would go. i think you could have a successful relationship whether there is sex in it or not. some people don't need to have sex to be happy. some people do. it's a really unique thing. it's important to distinguish the difference between intimacy and sex and i'm not suggesting that you can't have both at the same time, of course you can, but some couples can reach quite high levels of intimacy without having any form of sex. this is someone i care

about more than anything in the world and i have no interest in a life without, so it's just an activity. it's fun, but there are a lot of things i do for fun. i wouldn't break up with my girlfriend because she got rid of my playstation. i'm not going to break up with her over this. i don't think i can have a conversation with someone about it without there being some kind of implied burden that's being put on me when, actually, it's a choice i've made and it's not a difficult one. people can't really comprehend why you would want to be with a woman that's not putting out. more or less. and in terms of being a sexual person, jacob, in a relationship with no sex, how do you make it work? the same way i made it work when i was single, essentially. i hadn't had any sex prior to meeting charlie. i had a very small amount of sex after meeting charlie, but the current mechanism is essentially the same and pretty

straightforward. for us, it's very much built around that connection and romance, but a lot of people say you can have sex without love, so you can have love without sex, it makes sense and it works really naturally. a lot of people ask the question of how you can identify with loving someone when you don't have sex. my initial reaction to that is, if that is really all a relationship is supposed to be based on as far as romance is concerned, then we're doing it wrong. everybody must be doing it wrong, because there needs to be something. there needs to be some form of mutual attraction, there needs to be something there that says, you know what, i want to spend the rest of my life with this individual, i want to spend time with this person in their company, but 24/7, i don't want to be giving them a damn good seeing to. we're always holding hands and the thing i love is how nice he is about me in public, and how he's

always talking about how much he cares and it's really sweet. i'm not as good at it myself and i feel really bad, because he's just perfectly romantic and like prince charming all the time. i've never been able to be this close or affectionate or open with anybody else. i think it really depends on the couple, so if the couple are happy with the amount of sex that they're having and the quality of it, it actually doesn't matter how many times a year they're having sex. i think if you found a couple in their 405, 505, 605, who'd been together a significant amount of time, i think you'll find most of them will tell you that the sexual relationship will ebb and flow, and that can be down to a whole heap of life events that come most of our ways. bereavement, moving home, young

children, work, fatigue, illness. i mean, the list is endless. as long as communication is effective, i'm not sure that that really matters too much. communication is the key and also don't be too disheartened if it isn't happening too much, because it happens to all of us, and we will get it back. we'll get there. i think. good. i promise. i'll put out more! really interesting. i am amazed by all the messages from you from people who are in a relationship never having sex. lucy: my husband andi never having sex. lucy: my husband and i are in a relationship where we never have sex. i and i are in a relationship where we never have sex. i am and i are in a relationship where we never have sex. i am 30 and he is a little bit older and we have to work two jobs to pay for our expenses. he

works from 8:30am until 5:30pm and then again from 9am. we want to start a family but he is understandably too exhausted. it is a vicious cycle because i know he needs to work. i sometimes feel unloved and unattractive because he can't have sex with me but i know it isn't his fault. its inflation‘s fault. janet: i haven't had sex since being diagnosed with low grade breast cancer. prior to this and after the menopause sex had almost com pletely after the menopause sex had almost completely stop. i'd like to say it hasn't affected my life, living with cancer is a bigger fish to fry, but the truth is it has destroyed my relationship and this has impacted on all aspects of my life and well—being. this is really sad. jazz: we rarely have sex because we have as much enjoyment from other ways of spending time together. sex is for some reason seen as necessary but for many people it is a way of avoiding how unfulfilled they are. sex is often the means to an end. and nick on twitter: each to their

own. for myself it is an essential pa rt own. for myself it is an essential part of expressing emotional and physical attachment. thank you so much for those. a couple more, i have been with my woman ten years and we haven't had sex ina woman ten years and we haven't had sex in a long time. we never discuss it. to be honest, it's a relief. there are things in life far better than five minutes between the sheets to obsess about. another woman says that her late husband and her never had sex for 18 years before he became ill. sex was never a large pa rt became ill. sex was never a large part of our 44 year marriage. we love each other but didn't feel the need for sex to show it. thank you for these, they are so honest, and i love it. we will be talking about this more after 10am. don't be embarrassed. we are normal and respectful, courteous. we will talk about it between 10am and 10:30am.

put your phone number or e—mail address on if you want to join the conversation. still to come... the transport secretary admits that rail services are bursting at the seams. so, what's the answer? labour say nationalisation. we will talk about that in the next 30 minutes. they introduced gambling advertising ten years ago — now labour says it would ban it during live sporting events in a bid to tackle problem gambling. time for the latest news. the rail regulator says "nobody took charge" when new timetables were introduced in may, leading to weeks of chaos and hundreds of commuter services being cancelled daily. the office of rail and road has concluded that network rail, the two train companies involved, and the department of transport all made mistakes. it comes as the government has announced a major review of britain's railways. theresa may has urged the 27 leaders of the european union to consider what she describes as a "serious and workable" plan for brexit during an informal summit

in salzburg last night. the prime minister had just ten minutes to pitch her vision, she urged her counterparts to drop what she called "unacceptable" demands. eu leaders say the stalemate on the irish border remains unbroken. a huge clean—up operation is under way after storm ali battered parts of the uk with winds of up to 100 mph. two people died and thousands of homes were without power and lorries overturned during the severe winds. two fresh weather warnings for parts of england and wales have been issued by the met office for high winds and rain. that's a summary of the latest bbc news. here's some sport now. these are our headlines this morning. manchester city lost their champions league opener to lyon 2—1 at home. manager pep guardiola was watching from the stands serving a one—match touchline ban. manchester united won 3—0 away at young boys. in switzerland.

cristiano ronaldo was sent off forjuventus after half an hour after appearing to pull an opponent's hair. the iatlians still beat valencia 2—0. the italians still beat valencia 2—0. danny cipriani has been left out of the latest england rugby union training squad. the flyhalf has starred for gloucester but was fined by a jersey magistrate following a late night incident last month. and despite opposition, the world anti—doping agency are expected to reinstate the russian doping agency today after a three year ban. wada have been accused of making compromises on their original criteria for readmission follwoing revelations of state sposnored doping. that's all the sport for now. nobody took responsibility for sorting out the chaos rail passengers suffered when changes to timetables caused huge

disruption earlier this year — that's according to the industry regulator. over a period of several weeks, starting in may, govia thameslink — which operates routes into london — cancelled up to 470 trains each weekday. northern trains — which runs routes in the north west of england — cancelled up to 310. the office of rail and road says passengers were "badly treated" and blames a lack of "responsibility and accountability" for the problems. we put some of those criticisms to robert nisbet, who represents the rail companies and network rail who are all in the firing line. he's from the rail delivery group. we are going to look at this report, which we are taking very seriously, and learn from the mistakes. and clearly this report has identified mistakes across the board. the politicians who are making the decisions. even the regulators criticised the regulator. private companies as well, for not informing passengers of what was going wrong after the may timetable delivery. there are lots of lessons to be learned. in those two specific areas where there was the worst disruption after the may timetable, in gtr and northern, we are now looking at the system having stabilised. pretty much nine out of ten trains in both those areas,

in the first two weeks of september, were running according to the timetable. so it's stabilised there. thank goodness. you know, none of us woke up in the morning to try to deliver the worst service possible for passengers. what still seems incredible is that all of you failed. the rail companies, network rail, the office of rail and road, the department for transport, led by chris grayling. nobody took charge. how is that even possible? which points to one thing. if the blame is spread around everyone who is operating the railways, then there is a problem with the structure, there is a problem with the system. we have been saying this in the industry for some time now, that we need to have a proper review about the plumbing. look at the architecture of the railway system. because clearly it is not working well for passengers. but you are all intelligent people in all those organisations. not one person raised their hand and said, hang on, there's an alarm bell ringing here about the timetabling introduction, for example.

not one person. it's extraordinary. and that shows that there was a systemic problem. but are you embarrassed by that, are you ashamed, remorseful? all three, none of the above? we are remorseful, and we have apologised and given compensation to those regular customers who were severely inconvenienced. we have apologised for it at that time and we continue to do so. we want to ensure that doesn't happen again. and that's why we welcome this root and branch review that the government is talking about and launching today. as you know, when politicians feel the heat, they launch a review. chris grayling, the transport secretary, in launching this review says, "we want to seek to reform the rail industry to become more passenger—focused." how good do you think he is at hisjob? look, i'm not gone to get involved in a political discussion. it's just an opinion on behalf of network rail and the rail companies that you are speaking for today. and an opinion that i won't express because this is not about the politics. in fact, part of the problem i think about the whole discussion

on railways and the transport industry has been the politics. there is too much ideology flying about. do you not think there is someone else who would do a betterjob than chris grayling as transport secretary? we need to not focus on the individuals, and we need to look at the industry. we need to look at the systemic problems that this report highlights. let me just give you an analogy. when we changed the way that we run the railways back in the 90s, it was like a stately home that was crumbling a little. we went in there, we patched up some of the problems on the facade, we built an extension, but, frankly, we need to have a proper survey from the foundations to the chimney pots to see where the problems are. and then, once we have identified the problems, then start looking at what the possible answers are. that's what we hope this review will be. we want it to be big, we want it to be bold. and i know you are alluding to the fact that there have been other reviews. we want it to be meaningful

and independent. and then the recommendations put in place to advantage the customers. in the meantime, those customers — and we are about to hear from some commuters about urine on seats, overcrowded trains to the point people passing out, people with disabilities left in their wheelchairs on platforms, staff not having the correct information to pass on to passengers about cancelled or changed services... in the meantime, they all have to wait, do they, for this review in 2020? we are doing the best we can in some of those areas. so, yes, they do have to wait? well, to address systemic difficulties, yes, but there is a lot we can do in the meantime. this report into that timetabling fiasco comes on the day the government's chosen to launch a review of the system. they say it's the most significant look at the railways since they were privatised in the early 1990s. earlier, the transport secretary chris grayling told the bbc he was sorry and took responsibility for "not asking the difficult questions." once we knew the scale of the problems, we did take charge and had industry calls every day, worked the industry calls every day, worked the

industry to put in place temporary timetables and put compensation in place for passengers and put in place for passengers and put in place the review. it all happened too late and we should have intervened much earlier. the reality is we did not know. the report shows the industry moved ahead thinking it could deliver this. across the industry people believed they could deliver them a timetable and they we re deliver them a timetable and they were wrong and we have to make sure it doesn't happen again. —— believed they could deliver the major timetable. —— the may timetable. this is a railway that is under intense pressure. it's carrying twice as many passengers as it did 20 years ago, twice as many trains. it's bursting at the seams and what this report clearly shows is that it is not now a railway where decision—making is clear—cut enough, where accountability is clear—cut enough. it's too fragmented. so with passengers tearing their hair out at the price of tickets and state of the railways — what can be done to sort things out? let's talk to...

paula peters, a passenger with disabilities who says the system since privatisation has become a disgrace; commuter antony chuter who runs a facebook group for commuters on a particularly problematic line. and also here is the rail analyst adrian ouine — and in leeds is labour's rail spokesperson rachael maskell. i live in orpington and have to book 24 hours in advance to go to london to visit mps as part of my campaigning work with disabled people against cuts and transport for all. and for hospital appointments. since the timetable changes i have had to get two trains to get into london. it used to be one. i have to book to make accessible journeys with a 30 minute delay. i'm also having to now... it's getting ridiculous. they have cut two trains per hour from one of the lines into london victoria. it's all about cuts to services and cost—cutting measures. all about cuts to services and cost-cutting measures. what do you feel about that? really angry. we are also seeing the removal of guards from trains. we are seeing the removal of platform staff and ticket office closures. it's about

literally saving money of a passenger safety, which is appalling. anthony, you run a facebook group for two metres on a problematic line. what's your experience? the experience of the group members overthe experience? the experience of the group members over the timetable changes has been appalling. we get stories of people who do not see their children because they don't get home in time to put them to bed. we have stories of people going for interviews in london and being asked, how will you get to work? you on that line... 0h. asked, how will you get to work? you on that line... oh. it's really affecting people's lives in a fundamental way. the train is a vital service and this service is falling apart. what do you think about the review being launched today? any faith in it? not really. it doesn't cover the access issues we are experiencing and what it highlights is that privatisation of the rail network is an utter shambles. while chris grayling said

he has apologised, but i'm sorry, it doesn't go far enough. he is failing in his public sector duty towards disabled people and passengers. he is putting profit above people and frankly needs to resign. rachel, does he need to resign? absolutely. chris grayling is the person at the helm of the railway and claims he didn't foresee this coming. yet back in 2016 already the alarm bells were ringing. the infrastructure projects matching with the train operator demands were not working. the system is so fragmented. we do not need another review. that's the wrong medicine to address a railway system thatis medicine to address a railway system that is now in intensive care. you wa nt to ta ke that is now in intensive care. you want to take the railways out of the hands of private operators so that the department for transport, the government, of which chris grayling isa government, of which chris grayling is a part, can run them. no, what we have said is that we want a new model. but nationalisation is what

you want. no, we want a new model of public ownership. we want the public running the railways without the political interference we have seen in the last eight years. that means we can have the whole system working together as a public sector body, as a public sector company. why does that automatically mean it will be better than now, when billions has gone into investment, which you have to acknowledge. it is the fragmentation which is the problem across the railway, with different people pulling in different directions. the report today has demonstrated there was no controlling mind over the railway. there would be under a labour system. what would improve the railways ? system. what would improve the railways? is it that a new model that the labour party talk about? is it this review that chris grayling has launched ? it this review that chris grayling has launched? i think the review is very welcome. it has become a highly politically charged issue. people arejumping on the bandwagon on both

extremes. so you have got this ideology that privatisation is the only answer. and then you have peoplejumping only answer. and then you have people jumping on the only answer. and then you have peoplejumping on the bandwagon only answer. and then you have people jumping on the bandwagon to say nationalisation is the answer. in fact, the two are much the same. effectively you have private delivery of a public sector contract. private operators have virtually no ability to decide what they will do and do what the department for transport tells them. we need a more pragmatic approach. we need a more pragmatic approach. we need a more pragmatic approach. we need to look at the constituent parts of the railway because not all trains and passengers are the same buzz of a commuter going into the city is very different from a leisure traveller from london to manchester. different models need to be adapted and we need to be open—minded and get a way from a highly charged political argument. there are train staff in your facebook group, so what's their take? they really struggle because they don't go to work to give passengers a bad time. they go to work to get passengers to their destination and that gives them pleasure. they experienced daily abuse from passengers because of the

level of frustration that the delays cause. that's wrong. they are also frustrated with the system. they have worked for a whole number of different operators and they see each operator cut in, and cutting and cutting. the cleanliness of trains has gone down because in one depot in brighton they used to have seven people to clean a 12 carriage train. now there is two, and they are expected to clean a 12 carriage train in 40 minutes between two people. no one that the trains are filthy. how much would it cost to buy private companies out of the co ntra cts ? buy private companies out of the contracts? we have said they will release franchises when they come up. but some franchises, they want to hand back. so there would be no cost to the public purse? no, absolutely. and there would actually be games because around 30% of costs

are built from wastage and poor productivity. but the secretary of state today could bring about for gtr in the south and northern rail in the north, bring them under the operation of last resort and bring them back into an integrated transport system. that's what he should be doing instead of putting out another review and failing in his duty to properly coordinate the railways. is it possible, do you think, for there to be zero cost to the public purse if the model of the labour party was followed? no, this model is nonsense. you haven't seen it. railways always need to be subsidised. the idea you could run every train in britain without subsidy is absurd. and nor should you because a number of routes need to be run as an essential public service. trains deliver huge economic and social benefits for the country. they are enablers in both. it's politically wrong to suggest that. thank you for your all your contributions today. are more people having less sex?

and does it matter? i'll be finding out from a couple who say their sex life is in ‘crisis mode'. one viewer texting in says they are asexual in a deeply loving relationship with a loving man. having had several relationships, communication and respect are vital in any relationship. none of my boyfriends have ever tried to force me to have sex with them. i found out about asexuality about 15 years ago. before then i believed i was broken and in need fixing. since then i have been upfront with every partner and all have been respectful enough not to force me to do anything i didn't want to do. my current boyfriend actually likes the fa ct i current boyfriend actually likes the fact i am a virgin with no desire to ever have that changed by anyone. we find other ways to be physically intimate. another text, i have been

with my partner 15 years and married for three. in the last eight years or so our sex life has dwindled to just once or twice a year and we're fine with this, very happy. t0 just once or twice a year and we're fine with this, very happy. to all our friends fine with this, very happy. to all ourfriends and fine with this, very happy. to all our friends and family we are a perfect couple and best of friends. it's not weird to not have sex if you love one another and are soulmates as we are. we are very romantic and happy and our relationship will last a lot longer than couples who have sex in a relationship. do you think that's right? get in touch in the usual ways. almost 12 months ago, we brought you the exclusive news that some 95% of tv advertising breaks during live uk football matches featured at least one gambling ad. today, labour announces that if they win the next general election they would ban gambling advertising during any live sport. it's a big u—turn for labour — in 2007, when they were last in government, they relaxed the rules around gambling advertising, letting high street and online betting firms show tv commercials for the first time.

here's what we found a year ago... matt has just turned 30. when he was a teenager, he started gambling in bookies and later online. any spare money i had was spent on gambling, you know? two weeks you would be losing but you would hope to go on a lucky run. the number of problem gamblers has remained fairly stable over the last few years with around 2 million people at risk. the latest stats, though, show that if you are under 35 years old, you are far more likely to get in trouble. the sports betting adverts, it's absolutely huge. it's swamped... it's swamped the whole premier league. it's almost seen as the thing to do. you have to put a bet on to kind of get something out of football. we looked at 25 games shown on tv this season. that's a total of 1324 commercials and sponsorship idents. of those, 272 were for betting adverts — that's one in every five. for some games sponsored by betting

firms, the rate was even higher. take a recent everton match — 40% of the adverts were for gambling. or scotland's match in slovakia — again, 37% of the commercials were betting—related. the government is now under pressure to do more on this. let's speak now tojon ashworth, the shadow health and social care secretary, who spent a year reviewing the labour pa rty‘s position on gambling, ahead of today's proposals. we can also speak to adam bradford, whose dad was sent to prison after stealing £53,000 to fund his gambling problem. and justyn larcombe, a recovering gambling addict who now travels around universities and schools giving advice to young people. finally, stephen woodford, the chief executive of the advertising association, which has criticised labour's proposals, saying they would have a damaging economic effect on the uk's commercial media landscape. jon ashworth first of all, it's a

big u—turn for labour. jon ashworth first of all, it's a big u-turn for labour. well, i think the decision the labour government made back in 2007, as your package said, ithink made back in 2007, as your package said, i think it was the wrong decision. you have to be big enough to recognise when your party makes mistakes. and then respond to that. we have an addiction crisis in society. people generally know about drug and alcohol addiction problems, when we have the highest number of drug misuse deaths on record and 600,000 people with alcohol addiction needing help and not getting it. what we are revealing todayis getting it. what we are revealing today is a hidden epidemic of more than 400,000 people with a gambling addiction in need of support. 25,000 under 16s in need of some support, and yet there is only one specialist addiction treatment clinic in the nhs in the country. i have visited it. they do tremendous work, but

it's only one clinic. we are saying we have to deal with this addiction crisis in society and start by restricting advertising. we have to put a levy on the industry to fund research and fund treatment services. we know generally the addiction services the nhs has been provided has been decimated by cuts in recent years, and another £30 million of cuts are coming to those services will stop i'm not sure too many people would oppose a levy, but a blanket ban on advertising when it comes to live sport, is that really the answer? it is a whistle to whistle ban. so when you watch the world cup games you are not being inundated with adverts encouraging you to go and bet. you don't have the famous various celebrities barking at you on the tv to go and bet now. it's not the only answer. you have to take a number of initiatives to deal with the problem. but we can't get away from

the fact that gambling addiction, like drug and alcohol addiction, is ruining lives, and there isn't enough treatment being offered on the nhs because the funding isn't there and we cannot carry on ignoring this. i have been on the programme in the past talking about my own issues growing up with an alcoholic father, so i know the ways in which addiction can devastate families. we are not doing enough as a society to deal with this type of addiction and a labour government would get to grips with it and do something about it. the chief executive of the advertising association, what's the problem with what labour proposing? the first thing to say is that we have strict rules in place already between the gambling commission and the advertising standards authority, and they are continually reviewed to make sure they fit for purpose, to make sure they fit for purpose, to make sure they fit for purpose, to make sure gambling in effect is socially responsible. the point of todayis socially responsible. the point of today is that labour are saying there are too many adverts in live sport on tv and that's not a good

thing. the adverts are what in effect helps deliver the tv to the audiences that appreciate it. in effect, the cost of that live sport is in effect subsidised by the advertising. if we take the advertising. if we take the advertising away, the cost and accessibility to the sport will be reduced. there is an important point about problem gambling, where rates have been proportionally the same as proportion of the publishing for around 100 years. looking at the effects of advertising, the research from around the world says it is at best a trivial influence. john ashdown, can you respond to that? the advertising industry say this all the time. they made these are doomed talked about banning tobacco advertising all the time 20 years ago. they always say this and cry wolf. if the gambling industry isn't advertising then someone else will buy the advertising slots. we hear those arguments and it doesn't come to fruition. i can bring in adam and

justin now. adam, does this kind of ban, would it have had any effect on your father? i think it's great news from labour this morning. your father? i think it's great news from labourthis morning. i your father? i think it's great news from labour this morning. i don't know if these measures were in place back then, i wouldn't be sat here today. it's rubbish in my opinion that these adverts have a trivial effect. they have a huge effect. there has been a 600% increase since 2007. i think it's good news. so since labour a loud commercials for advertising gambling on tv for the first time. back then we were not aware of how big it would be. i understand we all make mistakes and labour is doing the right thing today by saying they made a mistake and they would change it.|j today by saying they made a mistake and they would change it. i placed my first bet because i responded to a£5 my first bet because i responded to a £5 free bet advert during live sport and i am certain that its young people who are responding to adverts during the in play games. i travel around schools and seats 16—year—olds and year 11 pupils and

am shocked to find that in a majority, very often the boys at 16 already have gambling apps on smartphones. you are clear that's not just for the grand smartphones. you are clear that's notjust for the grand national smartphones. you are clear that's not just for the grand national or a once a year if event? know, most of it is football. that's the sport they love. we have all seen the adverts where celebrities say, you get these odds to for this player to score in the second half. the problem for a problem gambling is they don't put to miss out, so these in play adverts are a real problem and go to the heart of problem gambling. the apps are out there. in other places you will see those adverts. are you saying this figure of 25,000 16—year—olds or under with gambling problems, that would reduce if adverts within live sport would be banned? i am certain they would. because they respond to live sport.

they tune in to it and love it. that's what we are seeing. the problem is that gambling is becoming normalised. it's no longer seen a risky activity. it seen as just a bit of fun. adam, can you tell the audience briefly about the impact and addiction to gambling can have on an individual and widerfamily. it's important to mention that. we talk about 430,000, but that is just the addicts. there are families, employers, other people in the community that it affects. it's a health issue. at 21 my dad went to prison and i didn't know why. a few days later we found out he had a gambling addiction. we were in debt and at risk of losing the house. he has half £1 million worth of debt. it made the headlines and we became a family shrouded in shame because of this addiction. it's really important that labour have said it's a health problem and it affects his

brain and the endorphins in his brain. it's tragic to to say it now, but it's it's a really important issue. thank you to all of you, we appreciate your time. the latest news and sport at 10am. let's get the latest weather update — with matt taylor. it's quiet at to compare two yesterday but don't take your eyes off the ball because there is wet and windy weather come. tonight we are set to see the second name storm of the season head to the uk. it's developing on a ripple of clouds developing on a ripple of clouds developing thousands of miles, off the east coast of the united states, all the way up to norway. this ripple will become that storm. the rainfall is i intensifying and coming to the south—west. the rain is turning heavier and more persistent out towards the west of

wales and the zone of wet weather will slide north through the day. one to home counties staying dry and warm through the day. lots of sunshine across southern scotland, northern ireland and the north of england. but showers across the far north of scotland, heavy and thundery. by the end of the day, the west midlands, the west of the pennines, some heavy rainfall. temperatures ranging from the teams in scotland and northern ireland to the low 20s in the south—east. looking at the details for the storm, there could be as much as 100 millimetres, producing footing. the wind will strengthen through the night and give damaging gusts of wind. the worst of the wind tied in with this area of rain starting in wales and wiki east. intense bursts of rain with gusting and squall wins. that could bring down trees and cause damage and certainly leave

and cause damage and certainly leave a legacy of transport disruption into the first part of tomorrow morning's rush hour. it's also shepherding cooler airfor tomorrow and with wind from the north—westerly direction it will be much cooler. to begin with we have wind gusting at 40—50 mph across eastern england for the early risers. the heavy rain to begin with will claye through and the wind will remain blustery through the day but down on what we see tonight. showers heavy and thundery, some see more of one than the other, but out of the sunshine it will feel distinctly cool sunshine it will feel distinctly cool, 10—11 across scotland and the high teens across the south—east. after a cool day, a chilly night, green on the temperature chart. down to single figures and a touch of frost in one or two areas. on saturday, after a bright and cold start, showers in scotland, still breezy, the wind whiter elsewhere but more wet and windy weather pushing up from the south—west and the potential for stormy weather for

england and wales on sunday. we will keep you updated. hello. it's thursday. it's 10 o'clock. i'm victoria derbyshire. if you have sex with your other half fewer than ten times a year you're in a sexless relationship and you're not alone. new research given exclusively to this programme suggests that's the case for one in five couples under 30. i'm steve. and i'm thom. we have been going out for four years and we have been married for a year. we have been married for a year. we have never had sex with each other. we identify as a sexual which means we don't have sex but we are very much in love. —— assexual. so are more people having less sex and does it matter? we'll speak to polly and tom rushton—ray who are here to talk to us about being a couple in a sexless relationship. many of you have got in touch. this

one: surely the issue is whether somebody is happy or not with not having sex. my wife has lost issue and it is a significant threat to the marriage. —— lost interest. more than two million school hours are being lost because girls are on their periods, according to research. why? well many said they felt too embarassed to go. we'll ask a group of teenagers what can be done to help. and these sweets could help tackle dehydration in dementia patients. i have a number of care homes interested in trialling the jelly drops further. i'm looking to put them into mass production. while it is more expensive than drinking a glass of tap water, it is more difficult to care for people when they're dehydrated. here's annita mcveigh is in the bbc newsroom with a summary of the day's news. the rail regulator says nobody took charge when new timetables were introduced in may, leading to weeks of chaos

and hundreds of commuter services being cancelled daily. the office of rail and road has concluded that network rail, the two train companies involved and the department of transport all made mistakes. transport secretary chris grayling told the bbc he rejected the idea that his department had not taken control of the situation. once we knew the scale of the problems, we did take charge. we had industry calls every day and we worked with the industry to put in place temporary timetables and we provided compensation for passengers and we set up the independent review. of course all this happened much too late and we should have been able to intervene much earlier. reality is we did not know. what the report shows is that the industry moved ahead thinking it could deliver this. right across the industry people believed they could deliver the may timetable and they were wrong and we have got to make sure it can't happen again. theresa may has urged the 27 leaders of the european union to consider what she describes as a serious and workable plan for brexit during an informal summit in salzburg last night. the prime minister had just 10 minutes to pitch her vision. she urged her counterparts to drop what she called unacceptable demands.

eu leaders say the stalemate on the irish border remains unbroken. police investigating the suspected poisoning at a restaurant in salisbury on sunday, which led to a major medical response, are likely to examine if it was a hoax. alex king and his wife, anna shapiro, were admitted to hospital and later discharged. the incident happened just six months after a nerve agent attack in the city. police sources said until the man had been spoken to they can't rule anything out. a huge clean—up operation is under way after storm ali battered parts of the uk with winds of up to 100mph. two people died and thousands of homes were without power and lorries overturned during the severe winds. two fresh weather warnings for parts of england and wales have been issued by the met office for high winds and rain. the director of the next james bond film has been announced. american director cary fukunaga replaces danny boyle, who stepped down in august. filming will begin in march next year, and the film is due for release in 2020.

it's spider season and as webs go, this one takes some beating. warmer weather conditions have led to the eerie sight of a 300 metre long web in western greece. experts say it's down to tetragnatha spiders building large nests for mating. i think it looks rather fabulous. somebody in my ear is saying it is terrified but i think it is beautiful. incredible pictures. thank you. let me read you a couple more messages on sexless relationships. leighton email says: the mistake we make is in thinking that the relationship is mainly about sex. surely mutual respect and desire for each other's companionship and friendship are the cornerstone of long—term relationships? sandy tweet this: i love the intimacy of being with someone and it is so much fun. grown—up lie downs are way of

releasing tension and being free for a while and it makes me feel attractive and loved. i cannot imaginea attractive and loved. i cannot imagine a life without sex. thank you for those. we will talk more in a moment. if you are getting in touch, you are very welcome and you are being incredibly honest as always. thank you. please email us. if you are happy for us to contact you to take part in a conversation, please put your phone number in the message. if you are texting, we have got to charge you. ollie is back at the bbc sport centre now. good morning. manchester city lost their champions league opener 2—1 to lyon at home. they were 2—0 down at half—time. hoffenheim and shaktar donetsk, the other teams in group f, drew 2—2 so city are bottom of the group. manager pep guardiola was watching from the stands serving a one—match touchline ban. manchester united won 3—0 away at young boys. cristiano ronaldo was sent off for the first time in 154 champions league appearances.

his first european match for juventus saw him red—carded after half an hour for appearing to pull an opponent's hair. the italians still beat valencia 2—0. for the first time, two nations share top spot in the fifa world rankings. the world champions france have been joined by belgium at number one. danny cipriani has been left out of the latest england rugby union training squad. eddiejones says it is because of his form at the moment. the flyhalf has starred for gloucester but was fined by a jersey magistrate following a common assault charge outside a nightclub last month. and despite opposition, the world anti—doping agency are expected to reinstate the russian anti—doping agency today after a three year ban. wada have been accused of making compromises with the russians following revelations of state sponsored doping. that's all the sport for now. i will be back with the headlines in half an hour. thank you. 10:09am, hello. what's it like to be

in love but not have sex? sex and relationship therapists have told this programme they're seeing a rise in people in relationships where couples don't have sex or barely do. this comes as mumsnet and gransnet with relate have done their biggest ever sex—related survey of over 2000 people. they're exclusively sharing the results with us first this morning, which suggest almost 1 in 5 people under 30 who answered their survey are in sexless relationships, which means they are having sex fewer than 10 times a year. so are more people having less sex? and does it matter? in a moment we will talk about this a bit more but first let's hear from two couples who are in happy relationships where sex isn't part of the picture. and if there are children around and you don't want them to watch the film, then it lasts for about 3 and a half minutes. sex in relationships. are we all at it like rabbits? or does netflix and chill mean netflix and chill? is sex the secret ingredient when it

comes to a long—lasting and happy relationship? or is it absolutely fine if the only action between the sheets is snoring? do we spend too much time worrying about whether our sex life measures up to other people's? and if sex drops off the menu completely, does that matter? and does it mean it's gone from your relationship forever? normal doesn't exist. it depends from couple to couple. it's about the quality of the relationship and it is about the desire of the two people in it. hi, i'm amanda and i'm 35 years old. hello, i'm steve, and i'm also 35 years old. we have been married for five and a half years, just about six years.

and how often would you say we have sex? i think probably on average, about every six weeks. the noise in the background may be indicative as to why. and we also have a 22—month—old son called elliott. who is trashing the place. hi there, i'm steve. and i'm thom. and we've been going out now for four years and we've been married for a year and i've never had sex with thom. so we identify as asexual, which means we have no sexual attraction to each other or anyone else but we're still very much in love. since elliott's come along, the one thing that has changed is sex is not at night, it's harder to come by. he's up at six and we never are having sex in the morning. morning sex used to be the one time. because you can get it done, tick that box. but, daytime sex, afternoon sex, like with a kid around, that's not happening. i personally think people have

had less sex forever. i don't think the kind of sexualised society we've got now is reflective of people having more sex. i think there's more pressure to have sex and maybe people are forcing themselves to have more regular sex, but if you look back in history there's always been this kind of theme around maybe spinsters or bachelors or people who don't engage with that scene, i guess. we have really unusual reactions to our relationship because people say, "oh, you're just like a normal couple." and i say, "well, ithought that's what we were. just a normal couple, but evidently not." when you think about it, you wouldn't normally see a sexual couple in sexual situations, so we're no different. no, we're not. it'sjust we don't become sexual at home. communication is the key and also don't be too disheartened if it isn't happening too much, because it happens to all of us, and we will get it back. we'll get there.

i think. good. i promise. i'll put out more! don't you just love the honesty? watching that with us is dr karen gurney, clinical psychologist and psychosexologist at the havelock clinic. that is a private clinic in london. cari rosen, the editor of gransnet and 23 year old polly rushton ray and her husband tom rushton ray, who's 34. they have two sons who are nearly 3 and 10 months old. polly describes their sex life as in crisis mode. y. we have two young sons and we also experienced bereavement and life is really challenging. ifeel like we have been clinging to a life raft. sex has not been top of the agenda. we have been tired and stressed. i have been almost emotionally drained. you lost your

mother, didn't you? in march. and some other relatives. it was very ha rd some other relatives. it was very hard and there was a big lead up to that. and there was the birth of my son in november last year and any result in birth traumas added to it, and also the sexless pregnancy. we don't have time for ourselves any more. we were using all our emotions on other people. we were reallyjust expended on that. we were just snatching the most intimate moments in the kitchen just to hug snatching the most intimate moments in the kitchenjust to hug or snatching the most intimate moments in the kitchen just to hug or kiss, something like that. sex was just not top of the agenda any more. com pletely not top of the agenda any more. completely and utterly understandable. isn't it? because of all the things that polly has just described. some really stressful events. that's right. it has been a really tough time for us both to hold it together with our young family. i have just had to be there

for polly because she hasjust family. i have just had to be there for polly because she has just lost her mum. she doesn't really have a family. it's us, really. it's been really tough. i am really interested , really tough. i am really interested, polly, that you describe your sex life as being in crisis mode. you mean because you're not having any? but it is totally illogical. yes, i think there is a common perception that you are not having sex, so your relationship is in crisis. actually many people have this facade of a perfect relationship, the perfect instagram and facebook life. but it is really what goes on behind the scenes. i think communication is key. if you can discuss things, and if you add a couple are happy with your situation, that is absolutely fine and it is up to yourselves. do you have conversations with each other where you say we are not having any sacks and i am worried about it and should i be? —— any sex.

sacks and i am worried about it and should i be? -- any sex. i have got to be careful. polly, psychologically, she has been through a lot and i need to put her feelings first. i would probably ta ke feelings first. i would probably take a stand back when it comes to approaching the subject of sex. i would probably say at the moment i would probably say at the moment i would like it more than polly, but i just have to wait. when she is ready. and that isjust how we have it at the moment. i definitely think there is an element are putting it into the diary. when we know we have something coming up, the occasional date night, when we are staying away ina date night, when we are staying away in a hotel, something like that. almost booking it into the diary knowing it is coming up and having time to prepare for it rather than having it launched on you. you can get your emotions in order and feel a lot more prepared, definitely. does that sound normal? do lots of

people do that, range when to have sex? because life is busy and stressful. definitely. a lot of people think that scheduling time together and sex is not very sexy and it should just be about spontaneity, but at times sexual desire has got to be triggered, especially for women. it is very rarely spontaneous and long—term relationships. trouble is that i work with, i describe it like this. when you plan a holiday, you don't worry about looking forward to it. that builds anticipation and adds to enjoyment and sex is like that. anticipation triggers and desire, so it is absolutely the right thing to do. are you surprised that many couples are not having sex?|j do. are you surprised that many couples are not having sex? i am possibly by the number but not really when you look at the forums on mumsnet and on gransnet at the

menopause is a massive issue when it comes to sex. a huge proportion have lost their libido after menopause and it causes physical problems. tiredness, people with young families, grandparents doing childcare. nine out of ten grandparents do a lot of childcare as well. bereavement. all these issues. of course they will affect your sex life. and it is across the age spectrum as well. figures suggest from the survey you did that of those that answered the survey, one in five people under 30 in a relationship. yes. again it is often the young children thing but it can be work stress, family stresses, all of these factors can have an impact on your sex life. i keep saying this, but i am really taken aback by the number of messages we have from people saying this is them. aide says: i have enjoyed the honest admission of the couples on your programme to who don't have as much sex or none at all. i am a gay man andi sex or none at all. i am a gay man and i have been in my relationship for six years and we used to have

regular sex but now not so much. we love each other and we are happy to cuddle and feel the intimate moments of our bodies being close together. we haven't had sex with four months and we don't feel the quality of our relationship is any less than when we were having regular sex. i work and i own my own company and he works as well. sex should not be yardstick for testing whether all is well with your relationship or not. is that right? it shouldn't be a yardstick because it is for many? yes, it is when there is a discrepancy between desire and sex that it causes conflict. then people might want to talk about it together and do something about it but if it is fine for both people or you have a sexual orientation which is asexual, then of course it is fine and it is not a barometerfor the relationship. without being flippant in any way, is it reassuring to hear that there are loads of other people with stresses in their lives not having sex as well? i think it is.

it isa having sex as well? i think it is. it is a really taboo subject and it doesn't need to be. if i, someone in my early 20s, can come on national television and say i am only having sex about once a month, that is a 93v- sex about once a month, that is a gay. i husband and i are ok with it. a good relationship to me is being there in the darkest moments, supporting each other, knowing you have got each other's backs, come what may. and if you can't have sex for a couple of months because you are recovering from a difficult birth, you are emotionally drained, thatis birth, you are emotionally drained, that is fine. you can pick up like a good friend where you left off if need be and i think that is fine. let me read more messages. louise: i have been with my partner 17 years and married for two. iam i am asexual but my husband is not. i tried to pretend i was normal for

yea rs i tried to pretend i was normal for years but eventually discussed it with him. he understands that i have no sexual desire but he finds it emotionally quite difficult as he sees love and sex as being intertwined. that said we do try to compromise and we occasionally have sex because i know he has desires. even though i know he loves me and married me knowing i am asexual i am worried he will go elsewhere one day. andy says: i have been with my wife for 30 years and never been happier. we gave up sex a few years back. we both found it messy, stressful a nd back. we both found it messy, stressful and no great fun. it is no big deal and no one has failed the other. why do you think so many people think it is a problem if you're not having sex with your partner? there are two things. one is that we have an idea in society that we should be having lots of sex. where did that come from? what we see in the media, what we read about, the way people talk about sex. we are offering judging ourselves by unrealistic expectations. nobody is meeting them. we have heard from this research that actually a lot of people are not having as much sex as they think they should be. the other thing is that we know that sex and sexual desire at and flows and it is really normal for that to happen within a person, within a

relationship, overtime, in response to all kinds of life events, medication, physical health, satisfaction, all kinds of things. the crucial thing is our understanding of desire and sex. it is fairly outdated as a culture. we expect to feel spontaneous desire much more than we know from research we should. i know that for women especially it is quite normal for them not to experience spontaneous desire, feeling like sex out of the blue and a long—term relationship. the problem is that we judge that as being a problem and actually it isn't. we just need to find ways to trigger it, as polly talked about. pauly said it is taboo and people don't talk about it, perhaps because they are embarrassed and ashamed or you think everyone is having loads of sex and you don't feel inadequate. it would help the people spoke and were honest. yes, that is one of the reasons we did the survey to break that taboo. i think we all

increasingly live a social media lifestyle where it looked like eve ryo ne lifestyle where it looked like everyone is having more fun than we are but the reality is very different. if the survey is able to show that is not the case, it is a good thing. thank you both for being so honest. coming on national television as a 23—year—old to say you have sex once a month, it is a big deal. thank you. tom, what impact would you say having less sex has had on your partnership?m impact would you say having less sex has had on your partnership? it is very difficult to say. like the doctor said, i think there are ebbs and doctor said, i think there are ebbs a nd flows doctor said, i think there are ebbs and flows to sex in a relationship. iam going and flows to sex in a relationship. i am going to ride it out, you could say. polly has gone through a very difficult time. i am just going to wait until things are like they were before the children came along.|j think tom sometimes feels that i don't have affection and love for

him because i am not presenting my feelings in a sexual format. where is for some people it is the love language, you might present it in a way of saying i like to do things for you, i like buying gifts for you and that is howl for you, i like buying gifts for you and that is how i show my love, i like to help you with things. sex is not always a way of showing your affection that way. i still care for him and! affection that way. i still care for him and i care for him... i show him i loved by supporting him through the hard times. you pick up the slack when the other one needs it? absolutely. that sounds like a team. yes, and that is what a good relationship is. good teamwork. and on twitter: sex is a personal choice so long as you are ok with the amount you not having. then there is no issue. if it is the disparity which is the problem, if there are differences. and this text: i don't see the need to have sex and my

husband has a usual man's interest, as in he likes to do it three or four times a week. i have never had much interest and it does wind him up much interest and it does wind him up but! much interest and it does wind him up but i just much interest and it does wind him up but ijust want much interest and it does wind him up but i just want to much interest and it does wind him up but ijust want to go to sleep. i love in the same but i would rather sleep. pour on facebook: iam love in the same but i would rather sleep. pour on facebook: i am 52, love in the same but i would rather sleep. pour on facebook: iam 52, i have always enjoyed a regular sex life with my wife of 24 years. four yea rs life with my wife of 24 years. four years ago i had a life—threatening illness, close to death awaiting a jewel transplant. thankfully they came through and i have regained my life, however i have completely lost my sex drive, much to the despair of my sex drive, much to the despair of my wife. we went to a specialist and we sought help because my wife thought the worst and couldn't understand why i didn't want or crave sex again. it took all my endeavour to convince her that i still loved her dearly and there we re still loved her dearly and there were no feelings for anyone else. i am so glad this is in capitals, i am so glad and relieved to see you talking about this this morning because i am not alone. thank you so

much for being so honest. we really appreciate it. do keep your messages coming in. and thank you for being so frank and candid as well. also coming up before 11 o'clock: jelly drops that look like delicious burmese are in fact a life—saving intervention for people with dementia. —— delicious sweeties. we will talk to the 24—year—old graduate who came up with the idea. 350,000 girls say they have at some point missed school because of being on their period, research today suggests. that's the equivalent of 2.1 million hours of education lost. 27% of the girls said that embarassment and shame were their reasons for not wanting to go to school. the research also highlights a problem with how we educate boys on periods. they say the current curriculum doesn't engage or provide them with the basic facts and increases the stigma. let's talk now to our group of young people. we have mollie chadwick, she's 16. james leslie, he's 14. katie proctor who's 15.

grace barrett is also here. she's campaigning for better education on periods. she is from a group called the self—esteem team. the phrase used to describe being embarrassed about your period is period shame and you experienced this yesterday. yes, i have endometriosis so i have really bad periods. i don't have them offer now because i am bad periods. i don't have them offer now because i am on bad periods. i don't have them offer now because i am on the pill to help to treat them. but i did have to stay off school yesterday because i had such bad pains. it is hard to deal with. even though it is so common, not many people know about endometriosis. for me, just standing up endometriosis. for me, just standing up helps the pain, but i can't keep standing up in class. sometimes if it isa standing up in class. sometimes if it is a bad day, i don't go into school. that is quite drastic and i hate missing school. but sometimes i

just have to. do the teachers know that you have got a dimitrios is? some teachers do. it is mainly the female teachers that you tell. —— do the teachers know that you have got endometriosis? why don't you tell the male teachers? i don't think they would understand. have you tried? i haven't tried. many people, especially boys, think you are just a web if you have got period pains. is that true, james? i wouldn't say they are wind. would some boys say that? i don't know. some of them do, i guess, but i have never talked to a guy about that in detail. it would be odd if you had, wouldn't it? guys don'tjust come be odd if you had, wouldn't it? guys don't just come up be odd if you had, wouldn't it? guys don'tjust come up to each be odd if you had, wouldn't it? guys don't just come up to each other. they talk about football not how it would feel to have a period. they talk about football not how it would feelto have a period. do they talk about football not how it would feel to have a period. do you ever come across classmates and contemporaries who would snigger if a girl missed swimming because she was on her period or whatever? they

probably would because it is immaturity. it is guys, it is the opposite gender, they probably don't understand as well what happens. they would do because they are guys and they don't particularly understand what is going on. katie, you are at an all girls school and you are at an all girls school and you have male teachers. are there problems if you say i am in pain because of my period?” problems if you say i am in pain because of my period? i have had some issues, like many funny to go to the toilet. the response from male teachers when i ask is why don't you go at break or before the lesson? they see it as confrontation and they're not willing to let me go, so! and they're not willing to let me go, so i feel awkward and i can't tell them why. have you tried? i have a couple of times in the past and theyjust have a couple of times in the past and they just become have a couple of times in the past and theyjust become really awkward. 0k, yes, go now! it is uncomfortable to be in that position in the first place. i don't know what the solution is to that. what would you

suggest, katie? ido i do think it's down to lack of education, but they are teachers and should have had the education. but going forward, if we can better educate boys in that area and make them understand that sometimes it's notjust that time them understand that sometimes it's not just that time of the month and a little thing. is it a teacher 's job to educate you about periods or is it for the parents? it's a bit of both, really. teachers are there to teach you the science of what will happen, and then your parents should help support, what to do with a tampon and stuff like that. do you have sisters? no. have your parents spoke to you about girls on their period? when i first started learning i had loads of questions because it was all news to me. i asked my mum about it, because she isa asked my mum about it, because she is a woman and goes through it. what

did you ask, do you remember?” basically asked what it was, what happens and what you do. she told me about what it was. she told me before, you will probably learn about this sort of stuff during this time, which helped me as well. do your mum and dad talk to you about periods? yes, my mum and dad do. it's useful because i started my periods before sex education, so if my mum hadn't been around to tell me it might have been a bit... somewhat say it is a mother's job. it might have been a bit... somewhat say it is a mother'sjob. grace, you are campaigning for boys and girls to be taught together about periods, is that right. why is that a good idea? yes. we have to work on confidence and education. we can't ignore the fact periods are connected with that. when we started trialling education we noticed that we thought we needed to focus on emotional education because we

believed the biology had been taken ca re believed the biology had been taken care through six education. but we realise that wasn't totally the case and there was a lot of misunderstanding about periods from teenage girls as old as 15 who didn't fully understand what was going on in their body when they we re going on in their body when they were having a period. and that is down to the teacher?” were having a period. and that is down to the teacher? i think from our perspective, the point of education is to set young people up for the life they will lead after school. families need to be a part of supporting that education but it's important young people learn this stuff at school in case the families can't provide that support. why would it be a good idea to put boys and girls together? why would it be a good idea to put boys and girls together7m why would it be a good idea to put boys and girls together? it turns of the emotional education side of things, it's important boys and girls have the chance to talk to each other about what they are experiencing. boys have an emotional relationship with periods as well, as strange as that sounds, which is where the teasing and the comedy comes from. at what age should that happen? as young as possible, maybe 11 years old. your last year of

primary school? there is no way... i have two boys myself and i can't imagine them in year six having a conversation with a girl in their class about periods? why is that? they would die of embarrassment. it's interesting that we assume young people find various topics embarrassing. i'm not assuming. tell me what you think, when you were in year six, would you have that conversation? the first and only sex education conversation i had was connected with periods in year six at mixed school, but it was taught separately. could you imagine having a conversation with a year six classmate, a boy, about periods? at the time i would have found it more weird thanl the time i would have found it more weird than i would now, i would feel more comfortable now.” weird than i would now, i would feel more comfortable now. i think both sexes need to be educated together. although they are different genders it still is human thing.”

although they are different genders it still is human thing. i think if we start talking about these things earlier on, whilst it might be a bit funny or gory, that's ok. we are allowed to cringe at things and still experience them. when you start to do that at an earlier age, it means by the time you are a teenager it's not cringeworthy and awkward any more, you just crack on with it. we have started to realise that boys want that as well, they don't want to be left out of the conversation. is that true, james? i don't think we want to be left out of the conversation, but we want to be beckoned into the conversation. i think guys do need to be taught about it, and if need be, girls should be able to talk to guys about it. but don't force it? i don't think it's something you should force a guy into. a guy should know what is going to happen and know what is going to happen and know what to do but i don't think he should be taken into the conversation. do you agree? i can

only speak from my perspective so i don't really know, but i can understand why boys would feel uncomfortable. if a girljust started coming up to them and talking about it. if you are good friends it's different, but if it's a discussion in class, i can understand why boys would be uncomfortable because it is a bit of an awkward topic. especially because... i think if we are taught separately it increases the idea that it should be a separate thing. and therefore girls shouldn't feel co mforta ble and therefore girls shouldn't feel comfortable talking to boys about it. thank you so much, all of you, for coming on and talking about it. here's some sport now with olly. these are our headlines this morning. manchester city lost their champions league opener to lyon 2—1 at home. manager pep guardiola was watching from the stands serving manchester united won 3—0 away at young boys in switzerland. cristiano ronaldo was sent off forjuventus after half an hour

after appearing to pull an opponent's hair. the italians still beat valencia 2—0. danny cipriani has been left out of the latest england rugby union training squad. the flyhalf has starred for gloucester but was fined by a jersey magistrate following a charge of common assault last month. head coach eddie jones says he's been left out for rugby reasons alone. and despite opposition, the world anti—doping agency are expected to reinstate the russian anti—doping agency today after a three year ban. wada have been accused of making compromises with the russians on their original criteria for readmission following revelations of state sposnored doping. of state sponsored doping. that's all the sport for now. thank you for your comments, those of you who are in relationships

where you don't have sex. jennifer from e—mail, i'm 25 and have been with my husband for eight years and have been married for one. we are very much in love and are happy, but we have sex two or three times a year. i have told my other half i think it's a problem. it's more than just having sex. it affects myself esteem and confidence. my single friends have so much more sex than i do. that's what they say! i feel like we are 60 rather than 25. my partner says he is very tired a lot of the time and doesn't feel like it and it is nothing to do with me. we are so happy but his lack of desire has started to reduce my urge and i feel it can only get worse rather than better. it's like we have to force it to fix it. martha on twitter says it's so sad sexless relationships are on the rise. it says so much about the lack of worklife balance for young people and the pressures on parents. bring on the four—day week and allow people to have times for their families and partners. how about

that, every friday you have sex all day. that's not what martha says, by the way, that's my contribution to the way, that's my contribution to the conversation. on twitter, i'm not sure i could be married with no intimacy. i would not sure i could be married with no intimacy. iwould hope not sure i could be married with no intimacy. i would hope for physical intimacy. i would hope for physical intimacy ina intimacy. i would hope for physical intimacy in a healthy relationship. we will try to read some more before 11 o'clock. three gay mps have told this programme that the anti—hiv drug prep should now be rolled out on the nhs and made available to all those at risk of infection. this week the high court ruled that the patent for the current drug used by the nhs should end. it did mean that the nhs could only use a version made by one manufacturer, so it was very expensive. the court ruling now means much cheaper versions could soon be available. we first reported on prep two years ago. it's currently undergoing trials to see whether or not its cost effective to roll it out across the nhs. the two conservative and one labour mp we've spoken to all claim the cost—effectiveness is now proven, even at the higher price

currently paid by the nhs, so say the trial isn't necessary. they say the drug prevents people contracting hiv and therefore saves them a lifetime of being on other drugs. controversially, they all also say that the stigma of gay mens' lifestyles is influencing the decision not to roll the drug out. let's talk now to our guests. greg owens is hiv positive, and says he wouldn't have got it if prep had been available. phil samba, who uses prep. stephen doughty is a labour mp and chair of the all party parliamentary group on hiv/aids. and gus cairns is part of the team that campaigned for the prep trial. welcome to all of you. i want to talk to greg first because you started taking prep, but it was just too late. i had a started to take

prep, but i got hold of it in august of 2015 before there was access outside the uk crowd study. to take it safely you have to guarantee you are hiv—negative. i went for the test the next day before i started taking it and it came back positive. i had tested negative the year before and hadn't had much risk until a few months before i was tested positive. it was literally just a few months too late. the high court ruling this week that the patent on the drug should end. persiste ntly patent on the drug should end. persistently through this campaign to try to make prep available to all that's needed has been a cost thing. costis that's needed has been a cost thing. cost is a very big factor and i can't argue with that, but we talk about reducing the potential cost per person. for a month of prep down to less than 10% if the nhs use their buying power. generic drugs are cheaper, and if you buy in bulk

like the nhs does, we could get it down to a really affordable price. it is cost—effective, cost saving at the current list price, so these savings would be fantastic.” the current list price, so these savings would be fantastic. i will start by asking stephen doughty this, an mp, two fellow mps have told is the argument is over in terms of prep being rolled out.” absolutely agree. we have a bizarre situation where england is the only pa rt of situation where england is the only part of the uk where there is a cap on the availability of prep. what great has said is absolutely right. we have to treat it as any other public health issue. actually the long—term costs to the nhs of people acquiring hiv and other comorbidities that might come with health challenges, that would cost a lot more than making prep available. it's a cost saver for the individuals. nhs england in a statement say they will wait to see evidence from the trial. we have heard this again and again from nhs

england. in nhs wales, the health minister he took the decision and has made prep available and recognises there is both the health evidence there and also the cost evidence there and also the cost evidence that it should be available. crispin blunt and nigel eva ns, available. crispin blunt and nigel evans, two gay conservative mps have told us they think it is not being rolled out yet because of the stigma being attached to the lifestyle of 93v being attached to the lifestyle of gay men. do you agree? absolutely. there are lots of wider issues here that are very unhelpful. media cove rage that are very unhelpful. media coverage playing prep off against other health treatments. it is not a zero—sum game, it's a life changer for individuals and helps prevent new infections and reduces the cost in the nhs. we need to treat it in that way. unfortunately hiv still comes with a huge amount of stigma. and it's notjust gay men who get infected with hiv and live with it and its consequences. it's many other people and we need to reduce the incidence and infections. other people and we need to reduce the incidence and infectionsm there any truth in that in the studio? partly to do with the stigma

around gay men's lifestyles that it hasn't been rolled out on the nhs? absolutely, hiv is a global pandemic disease that kills people slowly and terribly. nhs england are making a moraljudgment? we have evidence of that in the reporting after the trial with nat. they threw prep out of the commissioning process and the press release wasn't even veiled homophobia. it was disgusting. press release wasn't even veiled homophobia. it was disgustingm press release wasn't even veiled homophobia. it was disgusting. it is cost saving, and we have evidence that it cost saving, and we have evidence thatitis cost saving, and we have evidence that it is already starting to work. infections in gay men have started tumbling in the last few years and it is partly down to prep. talk me through the stigma. somebody somewhere thinks we can't roll it out on the nhs because of what? finish that sentence. it's saying that gay sex is very stigmatised. still. that's what i think. prep has

a great public health potential and is already having that potential. hiv rates have started to tumble, in 95v hiv rates have started to tumble, in gay men and the rest of the population that is affected by hiv. that's another thing, we have to remember that it's not just that's another thing, we have to remember that it's notjust gay men who catch hiv. part of the trial places are ring fenced for women and other vulnerable groups who are not 95v other vulnerable groups who are not gay men who are out there. prep would be provided to them as well as 95v would be provided to them as well as gay men, if we allow the nhs to continue to put up a barrier against it. it needs to be available as part of the standard service you get if you go to your gp or sexual health clinic. and the evidence is there for everyone to see in wales. not a single person who is on prep has acquired hiv. the cost is coming down and the public health evidence is there. there is no reason to continue to delay. if we ask the

other way, if it was a health condition that disproportionately affected cis white middle—aged men or wasn't a sexually transmitted infection it wouldn't be an issue. you need to ask that question to a nswer you need to ask that question to answer this question. so somebody somewhere is thinking, this isn't the kind of thing we can spend taxpayer's money on because men having sex with other men and contracting hiv is... i think ultimately underlying all of this is still the concept and notion that sex and love between two men, particularly sex, still has to come ata particularly sex, still has to come at a price and consequence. a former health minister was concerned with keeping rags like the daily mail happy, and that is still rife within the current party in power. but it's not their decision, presumably it's the head of nhs england. ministers

can intervene, like they did in wales. it's a very simple thing that they can do. we have a new health secretary in england, matt hancock, have you asked him? have i asked him personally? have you been onto him? idid personally? have you been onto him? i did meet with simon stevens, the chief executive of nhs england, in preparation to launch the prep impact trial, and simon and everyone in that room, i think would agree that cost back then was a potential prohibitive block to making prep available. now that has been removed soi available. now that has been removed so i would like to see nhs england and local government come together to commission this. hopefully they will listen, both to the overwhelming cost effectiveness of the argument and also the human rights arguments. we already spend money, nhs money, on hiv prevention and local authority money. we provide things like free condom is. the fact is, it isn'tjust that gay

men being irresponsible and not using condoms, it's the fact that prep works better and is easier to use. that's why it is effective. phil, you are on the trial with nhs england. nhs england says, while it would be wrong to prejudge the prep impact trial, it is expanding with a number of places increasing by 3000 to 13,000. we will look at the trial to 13,000. we will look at the trial to expand prevention services in the most effective way. we already near the top as it is. that's why what is being said of it being available from april for everyone is crucial, the captain needs to be removed from england. it doesn't exist elsewhere in the uk. the cost and health benefit evidence is there so it needs to be available for the nhs in england and through ministers. the trials are in a bit of a mess at the moment. there are a lot of people not in the demographic of gay men that are not being served. like sex

workers, transgender men and women, africans straight men and women, who are not on the prep trial. the thing about prep, it is stigmatised as a 95v about prep, it is stigmatised as a gay lifestyle drug. it really shouldn't be. and there is evidence from the usa that shows you need a lot more people on prep than that if you are going to drive hiv out of the system. we probably need as many people to be on prep as there are with hiv in the country, which is about 100,000. then we might be able to get hiv out of our system altogether. we will see what happens. and matt hancock is on twitter! thank you to all of you. when lewis hornby noticed that his grandmother — 82—year—old pat, who has dementia — was not drinking enough water, he decided to do something to help. he knew dehydration was a serious problem for dementia patients so 24—year—old lewis invented these brightly colored sweets, called jelly drops. they are said to be easier to swallow than water and are very hydrating. lewis hornby, who is behind

the sweets, is with me now. so is dr mina bobdey, a consultant psychiatrist who works with older adults and specialises in the field of dementia. and in salford is tony watson, whose wifejoy was diagnosed with early onset dementia in 2013. tony, good morning and welcome to you in the studio. tell us how this came about. i studied data course called innovation and design engineering. as part of that we had six months to do a project on whatever you one to two. a year ago my grandma became very hydrated and was rushed to hospital. the doctors expected the worst but after a couple of hours on a drip she was fine and still enjoys a quality of life to this day. i thought dehydration among people with dementia is a big problem. after research i found it affected more people than just my grandma so i thought i would make my project

about tackling that. and it works, does your grandma like them? she is not able to communicate she likes them, but she does eat them, it's a good sign. in the first ten minutes you took them to her and she ate seven. yes, and that's the equivalent of a glass of water. it's ha rd to equivalent of a glass of water. it's hard to get permission to work with people with dementia because they don't have power of attorney over themselves. they couldn't stop me going in the care home so i could do more testing than i have been able to do otherwise. tony, welcome to the programme and thank you for talking to us. is it difficult to keepjoy talking to us. is it difficult to keep joy hydrated ? talking to us. is it difficult to keep joy hydrated? because she is still in the early stages of her dementia, she still enjoys a drink and will drink. although often when i make and will drink. although often when imake hera and will drink. although often when i make hera cup of tea or cup and will drink. although often when i make her a cup of tea or cup of coffee, she will forget it is there. i believe that when the disease

progresses, and fortunately her disease is progressing slowly, but as it does progress i believe she will forget to drink as many of our friends do. and i think this is a tremendous way of encouraging people to drink. sometimes without realising it. but a suite of something of that nature is much easier for them to visually see, pick up and pop into their mouth. it's a wonderful thing. i think this guy is brilliant. it's a marvellous invention. how do you react to that, lewis? thanks very much. it's great to hear the validation from other people in a similar scenario to my grandma. sincei people in a similar scenario to my grandma. since i have been getting a bit of media about it i have started a facebook group and there are tens of thousands of comments from people in the same situation commenting the same thing. people who have worked in care for30 same thing. people who have worked in care for 30 years think this might do the trick. and could it do the trick? i think so. dehydration is one of the biggest problems. as

you both have said, many people get dehydrated and when they are not drinking enough... just to be basic, it's because people with dementia forget to drink? they forget to drink. and when you are dehydrated... when you have dementia, the centres in the brain that are affected, it's so important that are affected, it's so important that when they don't drink enough they are prone to get infection and more confused. they are on delirium when they have dimensions so they get acute and chronic confusion. in delirium there can be behaviour problems which can lead them to go into a placement or be admitted into hospital. drinking enough fluid is a secondary prevention for complications of dementia. it's very vital. i think it's a brilliant invention to get people to drink more. the additional thing is that when you have dementia the cognitive impairment increases, people go back to their childhood, they become like a child. and we all associate sweets

with childhood. if older people can have sweets with fluid, it will be easier because they relate to it as a childhood thing and they will drink more. it's a brilliant invention. so drinking enough fluid is very important to prevent infection and other computations. it's not available yet. -- and other complications. i was hoping you could bring some in to try one. they do taste like sweets. they don't have to be high in sugar. we can put them ina have to be high in sugar. we can put them in a food lab and make them suitable for as many people as possible. they can be suitable for diabetics and vegans. at the moment it takes a long time to make even a small amount. i can't even supply my grandma with a small supply. with the support i've had so far, i'm trying to build a team around me to mmp trying to build a team around me to ramp up production and hopefully do further trials and get it on the market as soon as possible. and how

isjoy, tony? market as soon as possible. and how is joy, tony? she's doing very well at the moment. she has had health problems because she had a serious hip complaint. she is recovering after a replacement. she hip complaint. she is recovering aftera replacement. she is keeping busy and still doing speaking engagements. in fact, she is at the young onset dementia conference in birmingham today. she is still trying to live life to the full and doing very well at it. how long before they are out there, lewis?” hope early next year. a few months, maybe a bit longer. that's the plan at the moment. hopefully that's realistic. and how is your relationship with your grandma bastianelli she's doing great. i still don't get to see her as much asi still don't get to see her as much as i would like to do. she is up in yorkshire. it's great that she still recognises me. we can't really have

a conversation but she appreciates it when family visit. it could be a game changer. it could be. dehydration is very important, and it's about prevention. i tell all my patients to think of five things, and hydration is very important, nutrition, prevention of constipation, pain management and management of infection. take care of those five things and the chances of those five things and the chances of preventing admissions to hospitals, the chances of reducing the care risk, and improving the quality of life for people suffering from dementia. it's very important. hydration is vital. thank you to all of you for coming on the programme. our best tojoy our best to joy and good luck to lewis. sooner the better, our best to joy and good luck to lewis. soonerthe better, by our best to joy and good luck to lewis. sooner the better, by the sounds of things. thank you for your comments, those of you who are in relationships where you don't have sex. we brought you news today that

potentially one in five under 30 relationships are in partnerships where they don't have sex or very rarely. this year says, my partner andi rarely. this year says, my partner and i have just rarely. this year says, my partner and i havejust had a rarely. this year says, my partner and i have just had a first baby. we work full—time and tired a lot at the moat. but we still have sex ten or more times a week. we are best friends and have a very romantic relationship but we are typically very tactile. even when lying on the sofa. i think the trick is finding somebody with a similar libido to your own. perhaps problems arise when expectations on what is normal don't align and that's when unhappiness arises in a relationship. diane says, u nfortu nately relationship. diane says, unfortunately while having my last daughter, the doctor delivering her cut me and as a consequence that area remains sensitive. we haven't stopped having sex but it has dwindled over the last few years. i

now keep fit by swimming instead of breaking the bed and enjoy chocolate with my husband. james says, what a great topic on your programme. i have suffered with depression over the year and sex with my partner has become up problem. i never discussed it with and get my worries to myself. but after listening to your guests this morning i will sit down with her tonight. debbie says, me and my partner have been together nearly 17 years and have children, a busy life, but we still find time to have lots of sex. we never get bored because we try new and exciting things all the time. jeff says, after being diagnosed with prostate cancer earlier this year, this has and does cause real problems with not having sex. mentally and physically. as many will know. there isa physically. as many will know. there is a real misconception about eve ryo ne is a real misconception about everyone having a great sex life. and just a great life generally on social media. it's not true, and there is more to having a happy relationship and life than sex. we

have so many more. we can finish with this. i have been married 47 yea rs with this. i have been married 47 years and would rather have a nice cappuccino and a piece of cake! thanks for getting in touch and have a good day. bbc news real life is next. hot on the heels of storm ali we now have another storm that is going to affect our shores through today and tonight. it's currently developing in the south—west of the uk. as we go through this evening and overnight, a deep area of low pressure that is moving through. it will bring strong winds and heavy rain. through today and across the south—east of england, it will stay largely dry and bright with sunshine in scotland and northern ireland. lighter wind compared to yesterday. temperatures are around 14th in the north and 21 in the south. in the

centre of the country we will see heavy rain developing this afternoon. dark blue and green, torrential rain for the evening rush hour across wales and northern parts of england, particularly over the pennines and by the end of the night he could see as much as 100 millimetres of rain falling which could lead to localised flooding problems morning. rain tomorrow will be accompanied by strong wind and gale force gusts in the rush hour tomorrow. this is bbc news. i'm annita mcveigh. these are the top stories developing at 11.00am. theresa may meets eu leaders to try to convince them her brexit plan is the way forward.

but there are still fundamental differences over the future of the irish border. we had a very good meeting this morning with the prime minister and herteam. time is running morning with the prime minister and her team. time is running short. going into this summit both sides we re going into this summit both sides were digging in but has mrs maiden enough to get the european leaders to move their negotiating position? the rail regulator says ‘nobody took charge' when new timetables were introduced in may, leading to weeks of chaos. council bosses in england warn that libraries, transport and public health will bear the brunt of upcoming local authority cuts