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tv   100 Women  BBC News  December 8, 2018 8:30pm-9:00pm GMT

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coasts. gusts in excess, channel coasts. gusts in excess, perhaps, 65 or 70 channel coasts. gusts in excess, perhaps, 65 or70 mph. a channel coasts. gusts in excess, perhaps, 65 or 70 mph. a rush of showers for the next few hours. they drifted steadily south. clear skies into the far north of the country. we could see temperatures in the low single figures, a touch of light frost is not out of the question. we start off with some showers around, but they will start using pretty quickly. by coffee time on sunday morning, clear skies, wind direction coming from in north—westerly. a cooler source. 0ne exposed coasts you will notice it feels more chilly gci’oss you will notice it feels more chilly across the country. six or 8 degrees into the north, 11 or 12 in the south—west. hello, this is bbc news. the headlines: tear gas and rubber bullets have been used to try to break up crowds of anti—government protestors in paris. at least 55 people have been injured, including three police officers. senior government minister amber rudd has warned the country would be in uncharted territory if mps reject theresa may's brexit deal. meanwhile the conservative mp
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will quince has resigned as a parliamentary aide to the defence secretary, saying he "cannot support" the prime minister's withdrawal agreement. in the us, president trump has announced that his chief of staffjohn kelly is to leave the white house at the end of the year. police in new zealand say they're set to charge a 26—year—old man with the murder of a british backpacker. grace millane, who's 22 and from essex, was last seen earlier this month. now on bbc news, 100 women speaks to the founder of canadian fertility consulting and follows three altruistic surrogate mothers in canada as they navigate the emotional challenges of giving life to a baby that they will say goodbye to after birth in the surrogates club. i'm creating notjust a child for these gentleman, but i'm also creating a legacy. his dads, it was their faces.
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it was very, very raw emotion. if you're in this, you have to be in it for the love of giving. i use my body to help people build decks and sheds, i don't feel it is any different. women are not paid to be surrogates. it's a 10 yearjail term, or $500,000 fine if you purchase your surrogate a gift. they sent police, before i could stand up, i had a gun to my head. i will make as many babies as i possibly can, until it gives out on me. it's not your genetics. it's somebody else's. it's an extreme version of baby—sitting. tell me someone found my suitcase.
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yay! so today we are anticipating between 50—60 surrogates. we run these retreats, every couple months, across canada. it's an opportunity for women to come and connect. this space is our sacred space. surrogacy can be very difficult. women can struggle with miscarriage or loss. the honouring of these women is what's the priority. they will come in. and this moment is a moment of self reflection. everyone thinks we're in there, we're over there. people are bringing their stuff up to the place. i don't know how to make it more clear. hey, guys.
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hey, hot mama. help the pregnant people with their bags. in canada, surrogacy is alturistic. women are not paid to be surrogates. it is a reimbursement of expenses given to the woman carrying by the intended parents who will eventually, hopefully, if all goes well, have a baby. there is no employer, and there is no employee. it means that it's a connection and a commitment that two parties make in order to build a family. so, ladies, as you come in, let'sjust get settled. for those of you who are new to our retreats, at the beginning of each retreat we start with a meditation. i don't have a whole lot of time for meditation, and i imagine many of you don't. the ones that do, i applaud you for creating this time for yourself. you know, we will stay up until ten o'clock at night making cupcakes
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for the class party, but we can't find three seconds to take three deep breaths to centre ourselves, and that'sjust mom rules. angie is going to lead us in the meditation. now, please, place your hand on your abdomen. where your womb is or has been. feel the power, the depth, the life, and the connection to our mothers. the cycles, the rhythm. i am currently pregnant. we found out yesterday that the baby is stuck. my ips, intended parents, are from montreal. there are two guys. they're absolutely fantastic man. they will make amazing fathers. we have been there and we remember that feeling ofjudgement. 0h, does that mean she is a different dad? yes.
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do all of your kids have different dads? well, most of them. i love pregnancy. after my five kids, i knew i didn't want any more of my own, so i got my tubes tied, but i still can be a surrogate, and i can still produce and make these babies for people, and as long my body will allow it, i will continue to be a surrogate. i will make as many babies as i possibly can until it gives out on me. i am pregnant with a little girl. for me, i see a lot of americans surrogates, they get paid 60,000 to 120,000 just to get pregnant, where in canada we don't do that. we're not a baby machine or whatever they call it. soto me that made it that much more special. i live in a small town so i received a lot of negative feedback.
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you know, how could you give up that baby? you know, what are you going to do to your children? you know, you're giving up yourfamily life. and it's nine months. i don't have to worry about my period. yay! it's your body, it's your choice. there should not be anyone that dictates what you do to your body, even if it is your spouse, because i received a lot of negative comments from my spouse just because he is frustrated. he just doesn't understand. he doesn't understand why i am doing this, because only i would understand the full extent of this. one of my biggest supporters was my mum, and she just passed away on wednesday. she has been the one that told me to keep going, and even though i have had negative criticism, she just... she was right there for that for me. she definitely made sure other people did not talk badly about it, and she informed them all the time
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that i am my own person, and i know i have always lived outside of the box. i've lived a different life than most. so, this is my first journey as a surrogate. i'm trying to be more disconnected in a way so i don't get attached to the baby. um...in a way that i am just worried about afterwards, about my emotions, so i am protecting myself a little bit. i chose a single father. that was something important to me because men have no way of having children. he is french, and i am french, and he is a teacher. as a teacher myself, i connected to that kind of world and their understanding of children. i'm 23 weeks with a french carribean baby.
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i'm glad to be here because i have had a really easy pregnancy like everyone, but not an easy relationship with my if so i'm glad to be with people that are not him. they laugh. he knows that he is anxious, and i am not at all, and i struggle with being with people, not being, helping people who are anxious. i would not do it if i knew i was getting paid for it. that would feel like a job to me, and i want to give somebody that gift. i use my body to help people build decks and sheds, and i don't feel it is any different although it is inside my body. i feel, as a female, that it is empowering to me that i can make that decision for myself. i'm going to come around with more colours, don't worry, ladies. all: one, two, three! it has sparkles!
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you boys, come clean this table. clean it now, and clean it up. don't walk on the table! 0k, mommy will read you the riddles, see if you guys can get them? 0k, what do you do with a green monster? you wait till he ripens. 0h! right? so it goes, spencer, the jacob, zachary, chloe, and riley. so i have four surrogacyjourneys already planned out. 0ne done, one in the middle, and two to go. maybe i will find
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more ips after that. this is where i keep my receipts. you get reimbursed for any pregnancy— related expenses, so, groceries, lost wages, and any meds. anything that is directly related to the surrogacy, the journey, is reimbursable. but if you don't have receipts, you don't get reimbursed for it. my contract this time, it's 2,450 a month. sometimes i reached it barely, and other times i reached it and so much over. so, here is my meds collection. eugh! i've got my prenatals. my daughter does not like this. you have your morning and yourevening. being a surrogate, you do have to take a lot more medication.
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you need to take progesterone shots once a day until 12 weeks of pregnancy. it's so full because you need to do it so often. that's my progesterone i got to take. what i take for being a surrogate is the pleasure of being able to give somebody what they've wanted for who knows how long. it's a very thick oil. so it does take some time to get it in. i'm proud, i'm very proud that i am able to carry this child for somebody. you tell yourself, it's not my baby, you don't need to get attached, and it actually worked. i know she is not mine, and i was completely ok with that. i have five kids of my own, i don't need any more in my house. yeah, my daughter plays violin, and this is aidan's tiny viola.
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he plays that, i know it is little. that is my son's cello over there, but that is a pretty big one, the one on a stand. this is my husband. hello. we are making a train downstairs. i love it. how are you making this, like what are you going to do it them? i am finally in the third trimester, and i'm starting to feel that i am pregnant. i'm starting to feel tired, and the baby is moving a tonne. i am principal of two orchestras. i am principal cellist. any of my babies, or any of the babies i have carried have reacted differently to be playing the cello. sometimes i can feel the belly go inwards because they don't
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want to feel the vibrations of the cello, and another would push out so they could be right against my cello. this one seems, the baby seems to fall asleep whenever i'm actually playing. my main concern is to protect my children, and to protect my family, like our feelings, and i want things to say the same for the kids. hi, gabby. hi. we're just talking about the baby. 0k. are we keeping the baby afterwards? no. what do you think about it? good because we don't want four children. why don't we want four children? four children as a lot, and because it's hard to handle a lot of people. it is hard to handle a lot of people. especially when you get a baby. do you ever have doubts or reservations? my reservations with it were,
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this kind of thing isn't available to everybody in the world. i knew going in that we're going to help a well—off person get what they wanted, because they were able to afford it, they had the means, and i think i got past it for the most part, i mean, there have been a couple of incidents with intended father was acting entitled, the attitude was basically i am paying for this, i deserve these things. no, because we have a human here that is entitled to her own health details. even in the ultrasound, i didn't want to send the full results. that is my cervix, i really don't feel comfortable with people knowing about that. i think the intended father is used to having a lot of control in his life. what i've come to realise is that he is really excited. he is a first—time parent,
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he gets to have a baby. ijust cannot be as excited as them. i have three children already. i don't know if i would pick somebody else, but i would make sure that i would talk about my expectations before even going to the whole thing. there are other surrogates that have different relationships, and knowing that i am not being mean to, or selfish by not wanting to talk to him all the time. is 0k to want thta space. it's ok that i need space. so if we canjust let san diego know the intended parents are going ahead with the sono. no committment on transfer. if you can organise the sono which will be in the next week. i started cfc 11 years ago. it was myself and one team member which has now turned into over 30 staff in three offices.
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in ourfirst year, we had ten surrogates. right now, we havejust over 500 active surrogates in our programme. it is illegal for intended parents to pay our agency or any other consultancy in canada to find a surrogate. so the matching is done in our programme for free. if the intended parentes and surrogates decide to work with us on the coordination side of things, we will manage that for them. six years ago, the day started as any other day. there was a bang at the door, and they said police, and before i could stand up, i had a gun to my head. fast—forward, went to court, pled guilty to two regulatory defences. it was paying surrogate and egg donors without receipts. we now know very clearly
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that we require a receipt. where we as an industry struggle with is what constitutes a payment. is a necklace, or gift at birth considered a payment? would a necklace, or gift at birth considered a payment? this leg is dead. i'm sorry. there we go. baby crying. i feel you. it sucks getting stuff all over you. it's so beautiful.
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thank you very much. she's out in the world now. i just created a family. like, that's crazy with the it's not my own, it's someone else's family. it's crazy. good. i thought i was going to get more tears out of you. or are they still coming? beeping. she is beautiful. she is very gorgeous. so, today, i'm going to go
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down and see the guys, and i'm going to bring some them syrup. ——going to bring some colustrum. hello. so cute. i don't know how to work that went. he knows how to work it. you can probably smell my milk as well.
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i'm sorry, no. i know at the retreat i had spoke of my fiance not being very supportive. he has really struggled with this process. my kids, on the other hand, love it. they realise it's not our baby, but that they are going to be a part of our life for a very long time. my mum, she now passed, she really encouraged me to keep going, so not having her during the birth was really hard. my dad, having him there, and he was holding a picture of her the whole time. itjust made me feel like she was there. she would be very proud of me
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because she has been very proud of me this whole process, so completing it successfully without totally losing my mind i think that's... i think that's what really got me through, knowing my mom was proud. good evening. it has been a blustery, showery saturday across the country. when they'll buy it, we knew about it. merging together for longer spells of rain as they pushed him from west to east. those showers will be a nuisance with plenty of isobars on the chart, where the winds will be across wales in south—west england. the showers will drift south and we will see should —— fewer showers in the far north of scotland. 0ver —— fewer showers in the far north of scotland. over the next these hours, the wind is very much a feature, up to over 50 mph. we could seek higher
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than that on the coast. clearer skies in the north, the temperatures will fall away, in rural parts of scotla nd will fall away, in rural parts of scotland we could see a touch of light frost. it will be dried tomorrow with more sunshine coming through and it cooler feel with the northerly wind direction. we could start off with a few showers that this training front to clear away but behind it is the northwesterly flow so tucking in behind that front, the cooler air will sink southwards. a rash of showers for early birds but they eased off by coffee time, the sky is clear, sunshine comes through, a brisk northwesterly, feeling chilly, just around five to 8 degrees across the east coast, further south and west we might see a 11 or 12 if we are lucky. but factor in the wind, that will make it feel much of the site if you are out for any length of time. we keep the skies on the
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whole, temperatures fall away through scotland and northern england, below freezing in rural spots, just above in towns and city centres, so frost is likely, and monday morning could be the coldest start of the week. there should be some sunshine, a week where the front from the west could bring cloud and isolated showers but generally speaking, monday will be a quiet day, the best of the sunshine further east, still chilly with the exception of the far south—west. that is how it looks tuesday into wednesday, mild air trying to push in from the west, but generally speaking, dry and fine. take care. this is bbc world news today. i'm chris rogers. our top stories... president trump announces that his chief of staff is leaving. john kelly will replaced by the end of the year after weeks of speculation about his future. thousands turn out across france in anti—government protests, though the numbers are smaller
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than in previous weeks. china warns canada of grave consequences unless it releases huawei the top huawei executive being held on fraud charges and a mo salah hat—trick helps liverpool go top of the english premier league, as man city slip up at chelsea. that story and all today's other sports news coming up.
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