hello, this is bbc news. the headlines at four. typhoon hagibis makes landfall in japan bringing torrential rain and strong winds — it's the worst storm to hit the country for 60 years. the kenyan athlete eliud kipchoge makes history after becoming the first person to run a marathon in under two hours. there's been fierce fighting in north—eastern syria, as turkish military continue their offensive against kurdish forces. the head of the nhs warns the school gates have become a breeding ground for myths about the safety of vaccinations.

and now we have the best of the week's exclusive interviews and reports from the victoria derbyshire programme. this group of men all of whom have lost a close relative or friend to knife crime have told this programme they feel ignored when it comes to grieving for their loved one. in the year up to march this year, there were round 43,500 knife crime offences across the uk. that is an 80% increase over the previous five years. the number of people killed with knifes has been steadily rising since 2015. back in march this year, we spoke to m mums all of whom had lost a son to knife crime. they told us then how it had affected them and what they wanted the authorities to do to stop it happening to others.

now we have brought together 13 dads, brothers, uncle, dads, brothers, uncles, cousins and friends, who have all experienced the same thing. i am going to ask each of you first of all if i may, if you could tell our audience who you have lost and what that person meant to you. my name's dwain stewart. this is my brother kieran, and we lost our little brother lamar stewart, two years ago, and he meant the world to our family. he was like the baby of the family, so he was always at home. you'd go to the house and expect to see him there, and we no longer see him there any more. what would you say kieran, what did he mean to you? he was my favourite person, if you want me to be totally honest, always spent so much time with him and his heart wasjust so forgiving and so big. it's been one of the hardest things i've had to deal with ever.

mark, hello. james was our life, and... can we see the photograph ofjames? although he was 25% of the family, in actual fact now he's gone, it feels like half the family's disappeared with him. he was very loud, very lively, and the silence in the house is deafening. neville, hello. yeah, i'm neville, i lost my little brother. he was my role model. as you can see in the photo he was a boxer, i decided to take up boxing as well. he used to always take care of us, when it was just my mum as a single parent, he used to stick up himself, take that burden on to

help everyone else up. yeah. aj. good morning. i'm a]. i lost my son. he was the family celebrity. he was the second grandchild but oldest grandson, so his siblings and cousins, it was always a special occasion in those hours around. thank you a]. hi stanley. hi, i'm stanley, jermaine's father. and my son meant a lot to me. he was just like my best friend. he was, yeah, he was just everything to me, the world. he meant a lot, to the family, everybody. community.

all of his friends, everybody. you know, somebody we really loved, admired. strength, he gave us a lot of love in our hearts, to just live. he was just a special boy. very special. thank you. jermaine was my little cousin but he was more like a little brother to me. he was the life and soul of the party, christmases, birthdays he was always there dancing, having fun, i have so many memories ofjermaine, ofjust partying, like funnyjokes with him and now that he's gone, christmases and birthdays feel so much different. it is hard tojust know that he's gone, even though he's got to a better place, but that void is massive. thank you. i'm jason's dad, and since he's gone, it's not affected just home, it's everywhere. his workplace. his friends, the local

football club. and like many of these young men here, he was the life and soul of our family, and not having him here any more is just the biggest kick in the teeth for anyone. i am paul, i'm the father of kamari burns. we lost him at the age of 15. he was a lot to our family, and losing him has brought a big hole in our family which, trying to fill that void, it's hard. he was our kamari marley. he was our future bob marley. and... his future was bright and it's just been taken away, like that, at a snap. just... it's devastating. i'm ricky and to echo what paul said about kamari, the loss of kamari had notjust for the family, but also for the community, he was a real

figurehead for many young people, which we didn't even know, and me and him used to have a secret little banter, where anywhere i used to turn up, he would turn up, and we used to have this banter of "oh, i about kamari, the loss of kamari had not just for the family, but also for the community, he was a real figurehead for many young people, and finding out how many young people he actually touched, younger and older than him, amazed us, and the effect he had across the whole community in such a short space of time was amazing. he was your nephew. yes. we were close friends but we were like brothers. yeah. we've been friends from way before kamari was born, so i've known him from birth to we went through this. hello, i'm russell brown, i lost my son russell barty brown. in 2016. barty was our life, he was everybody's life. the community.

when he passed, a light went out in our area. people came from far and wide to see the light go out in his mum and sisters' eyes, seeing his niece still upset now, she was three years old at the time. she's six now and she still misses him. everybody misses barty. every year we have a thing for his birthday and hundreds come. because he was just there, he was everybody's friend. he brought everybody home for food. our house was always full. and his good friends, they still come and sit in barty's chair, they still come and talk to us. they've never left our side and say, for him to go that way, that quick, just wrong. he had a lot to give this world. he really did. i'm paul, i'm dean's younger brother, he wasn'tjust a brother to me when i was growing up. he taught me everything i needed to be a man. he was more than a brother, he was like my dad to me. a massive hole has

happened to my family. and nothing will cure that. i'mjamie. i'm paul's friend. been friends for a long while, and just absolutely seen the devastation that has been left to his family, and the hole, and it's just terrible. thank you all of you, i'm also going to introduce martin griffiths who is here, good morning. the nhs violent crime reduction chief for london and also a trauma surgeon from the royal london hospital, and we will bring martin in a little later. i wonder if any of you still think that your son, your nephew, your cousin, your brother, is going to walk in the room, any moment? because you don't believe it? yeah. yeah, i have a studio back at home, and my brother was always putting his bike up against my window,

and it's a big shop front and he always used to clang and i always told him off. "stop putting your bike on the window, and you're going to smash it". he was like "no, it's all right bruv", and he'd come running in, he was short, so he'd come running in... take your time. he'd use the toilet. raid my sweet drawer, give me a kiss on the head. "see you soon." he'd be back out, it was like the cross road journey for his bike ride, from one of his mates to the other. yeah, my son didn't live with me, me and his mother hadn't been together for many years but when he would come, he was 16, just before, he wouldn't call me to say he was coming, he'd just turn up.

any time the door goes randomly, there's that sinking feeling that i know that a random knock on the door is never going to be him again. even though you hear the random knocking, you have that... that misguided hope, you just know it ain't going to happen. when you heard about the death of your loved one, was it a knock on the door, was it a phone call? what happened 7 mark — sorry, let's bring in mark. it was our daughter crashing through our bedroom door at a little after midnight to say thatjames had been stabbed. she was hysterical, we were asleep and she woke us out of our sleep. that's all she said. she went straight up to the scene, which was about 300 yards from ourfront door, and we followed her, and we all abandoned our cars in the road, to witness our son

having open heart surgery on the pavement. were you able to get close to him or not? no, we had to stand at a distance and the paramedics worked for an hour trying to save him, and eventually he passed away. and we were allowed to go to him. but he'd already gone. so... 50... did others so. .. did others experience so... did others experience that feeling or being told you have to deep back because clearly, emergency services are working on your loved one, to try and keep them alive? yeah. it is one of the hardest things. i was basically third on the scene, two police officers were already there, and my partner's friend's house, i'm at home and it

was like a race to get there. and when you get there, i was literally stood there and it seemed like within seconds you are getting shoed away, that's my son, and, you know, all these thoughts are running through your head and you don't know how to deal with it and you have someone how to deal with it and you have someone telling you go away please, i understand now, but at the time i didn't, and it isjust the biggest kick in the teeth. in terms of the phone call i got, when my phone rings now, that's all i expect, bad news. really. my heart pounds, i don't know if any of you in the studio, someone says i will call you ata studio, someone says i will call you at a certain time, so when it rings at a certain time, so when it rings at any other time, my heart com pletely at any other time, my heart completely stops, i expect bad news. do women and men grieve differently? very much. definitely. that is

unanimous. yes. give us some exa m ples unanimous. yes. give us some examples what do you mean? as men we are not meant to really show emotions, so we are meant to keep them in check, be the brave one, but it is our loved ones that's gone. i used to cry every day for my son, every day. in front of other people 01’ every day. in front of other people or alone. ? i used to keep it by myself, in the beginning stage, i didn't really care, if it was in front of whoever, but in the latter stages, i used to be at home because i'm at home in the four walls looking at pictures of my son. yeah, every day, every day, it's not so bad now, because as time goes on, you adjust. you learn to live with the situation which i'm trying to do 110w. the situation which i'm trying to do now. i am learning to cope with it, live with it, but, yeah, we grieve differently, we are meant to hold

oui’ differently, we are meant to hold our emotions. does everybody agree with that, you are expected to hold your emotions in the women of the family, they spoke more about it, as the family came around them, and supported them as women, a lot more than the men did. i suppose it's partly, friend and family were around as men but trying to express yourself in a room of men is quite difficult, whereas women i felt as though they were open to expressing themselves among each other. it felt as though us as men were isolated in comparison to the way the ladies had to. you are expressing yourself now ina room to. you are expressing yourself now in a room full of men. the women could openly show how they felt. 0n the day one of my friends said ricky i don't know how to feel, i don't know how to show what is going on, i know how to show what is going on, i know what is going on, but what do

we do? and all the men that were there, none of them showed their real emotion of how they felt or... imean it real emotion of how they felt or... i mean it is hard because you are lost, we want to support paul in a way we could support paul as men, but then none of us are showing our emotions so it is kind of distant. for me, i think it's the process of time, which has allowed everyone to be here. so for me, i don't know, the first 18 months i had to literally wait until everyone was in bed, i could get a picture out and look at him, have those moments, cry and talk and whatever. i wouldn't be able do that when the kids get in from school. it is dinner time. homework time, it's, and you just don't want to see dad upset. because if dad is weak everyone's weak. don't want to see dad upset. because if dad is weak everyone's weakm that what you feel, if you show, that what you feel, if you show, that if you crack the family will crack. definitely. likei

that if you crack the family will crack. definitely. like i found myself, i was fast forwarded into a position of strength that was automatically given to me. me and my brother were the only boys in the family. we were the only boys in the family. we were the only boys in the family and we were the strength of the family. to take on what he had to take on, on a daily basis, to have his strength, having to be given to us to keep everyone together, you know, my family fell apart, like in seconds. did any of you feel ignored, in terms of your grief? because you we re terms of your grief? because you were the man? i think as men, we kind of, we kind of, we feel as if we are not allowed to show our emotion, because everyone shows emotion, because everyone shows emotion, so if everyone's cracking who is holding this thing together? so, but, as much as we want to show emotion again, it is like how do we?

from a personal perspective, like from a west indian culture, men don't cry. you just brush off and just say, i saw it go kind of thing and you kind of get on with it, but... you can't get on with it, because... your world is, i don't know how to be a parent to three kids because i used, because i'm a pa rent to kids because i used, because i'm a parent to four, now i have to parent three and it is like well, how do i do that? i was a father to a son and three daughters, how do i? but then i have to hold that emotion when i am round my daughter, i can't be showing them i don't know how to be that cool crazy dad any more. what do you think would happen if you showed your emotion to your daughter, what do you think would happen? subconsciously or realistically. realistically. i must admit, my big daughter, my big two, 110w admit, my big daughter, my big two, now 16 and is

admit, my big daughter, my big two, now16 and is 13, admit, my big daughter, my big two, now 16 and is 13, they are, they are, they are the most amazing, they say to me all the time, especially my eldest, she says cry. and do you? the little one says, it's all right to cry. and they see dad's pain. and it, it hurts them to see me not releasing my pain, because they know that once the pain's released, we can kind of move forward. yeah. so ina can kind of move forward. yeah. so in a realistic world it's like, it's 0k to do it but subconsciously it's like well, i'm dad. i'm not cry baby, i'm dad. i'm the one that should be like telling you guys, come on now, not you telling me. so as men it's hard to be like let

somebody else nurse me through, like before, if a man tried to do this before, if a man tried to do this before i would try to brush it off. i'm like keep it there, because i need that, as men we are not allowed to say come on man, i need that. but you are. you are and your girls sound amazing. my daughters are great. i am going to bring in martin griffith, he is a trauma surgeon, the nhs violent crime reduction chief for london. you have cared for hundred, you have lost 50 under your care. i wanted to ask you, again, from the male perspective. when you walk from the operating theatre, to the room where relatives are waiting for you, and you have to tell them that you haven't been able to save their son or nephew or brother's life, what is going through your head as you walk towards that room? 0ne head as you walk towards that room? one word. dread. i've done this far

too many times. and as i walk from my team, with devastated, they have lost this boy on the table, i know asi lost this boy on the table, i know as i walk with the nurses with me, i am going to break a family's heart, iam going am going to break a family's heart, i am going to destroy countless lives with these words. i have to do it, the family deserve to know the truth, their boy is dead. no shelly shallying, no hope, noes misconception, tell the truth. but the reaction is heartbreaking. sometimes it is tears, sometimes it is anger, sometimes it is nothing and that is devastating and then you have to try and explain how, why, but no—one is listening. everybody is emoting. people are numb. it is

difficult. i think what i want to say to all of you, is this stuff happens because men can't share their emotions. men resort to words because they can't say what they feel. they can't explain how they are feeling about life. they choose to act in ways they are allowed to behave. that means shouting, physicality and violence. and this stuff happens because men can't talk about their feelings to each other. if we could do this, this wouldn't happen, it wouldn't happen. do people agree with that, disagree? let me bring in mark. sorry, i do ee, let me bring in mark. sorry, i do agree, yes, i mean we are, we are very different to women, aren't we, soiam very different to women, aren't we, so i am not surprised to hear that, but we need more of that kind of open approach for men, to be able to talk to etch a other. neville, what would you say? i, i don't know, because i found out quite late and when i found out i went straight to

bed, andl when i found out i went straight to bed, and i just when i found out i went straight to bed, and ijust got like a few hours of sleep and went to school. you went to school the next day when you found out... i thought it was a nightmare, i was only in year 11, i was doing my gcse, i went to school andl was doing my gcse, i went to school and i realised everything's happening right now and that's when i broke down. but i think that was one of the only times i broke down. when you went to school did you say my brother's been stabbed?” when you went to school did you say my brother's been stabbed? i didn't wa nt my brother's been stabbed? i didn't want to tell anyone. i didn't want the attention, and everyone round me, because that wouldn't have helped me, it wouldn't have brought him back, that is howl helped me, it wouldn't have brought him back, that is how i thought as a 16—year—old, but then eventually, everyone found out. i told a teacher i felt comfortable telling and from thenl i felt comfortable telling and from then i was looked after in school. in terms of the way you are treated as men, when you are grieving, compared to the way women are treated, russell what happened to you? we went to do a talk at trafalgar square, for the standing

together christian charity, my wife andi together christian charity, my wife and i was waiting to go on stage, she was next to a woman and she said what you doing here, she said my husband is doing a talk. she said wouldn't it come better from you. she said why, does my husband grieve any she said why, does my husband grieve a ny less she said why, does my husband grieve any less than me? she couldn't, my mrs had to get up and walk away from this woman, why would it be better? i feel for my this woman, why would it be better? ifeel for my son this woman, why would it be better? i feel for my son as much as she did, you know. why do you think you are ignored sometimes?” did, you know. why do you think you are ignored sometimes? i think the women have carried the child. are ignored sometimes? i think the women have carried the childlj are ignored sometimes? i think the women have carried the child. i i was going to say that. and given birth to the child. so there is an automatic empathy, particularly from women, to women, because they have a shared experience. i think that is what it is. i want to britain in martin, you will have heard this argument about you know, there aren't enough youth clubs services, there have been cuts to various sectors since 2010. i won't ask you about policy because that is not your area, what do you think we can

do to try and reduce the number of knife crime victims? i think it is very difficult. i think that the problems stem from the society we live in. lack of understanding, lack of wanting to share our own burdens and what young people need is nurturing relationship with people they trust and care. they need to have the opportunity to develop. that is not just have the opportunity to develop. that is notjust a parental thing, it is society. we need to have the opportunity to communicate effectively. what we see is lots of young people, lots of inequality, they want to feel significant and do things which are incredibly dangerous. you ask a young person why they carry a weapon, they can give you reasons why. it makes sense to that skewed mentality that, skewed belief system they have, because that is the way they have been brainwashed to believe the

world should be, that is how men behave, that is how men behave. that is what people. that is how it is. where i'm from. and that can't be right. i can't be right in this society. and we need to challenge those understanding, we need to make a society a more open place, we need to discuss how all agencies can work together because we need to put together because we need to put together parents, communities, social service, education, together parents, communities, socialservice, education, law enforcement, local and big government together on the same table and listen to each other. because the solutions lie in our community. i am going to thank you all. thank you very much for being so open and honest. thank you. and i will give you the action line website of course if you want to talk to organisations, to get help or support, then, please do, they can point you in the right direction. we are back live monday morning at ten. thanks

hello, once again. southern parts of britain really didn't see the very best of saturday's weather, to say the very least. little bit further north, kinghorn in fife, well, glorious conditions there, as was the case across much of northern britain, simply because you were that much further away from this weather front, which is in no great urgency to quit the scene, i have to tell you. it's wiggling its way around the southern counties of britain, portions of it wanting to go a little bit further north, other portions wanting to go a little bit further south. you average it all out, it really isn't moving very far, very fast. so what you've got is what you keep. temperatures, if you're stepping out early part of this evening, somewhere around ten to 13 degrees or so. not overly cold by any means at all. but damp fare, to say the very least. and if you're staying out for any length of time, that rain will be getting into parts of wales, the midlands, through east anglia into the wee small hours. further north, skies will be clear, some of the showers will dissipate

and you will end up with a touch of frost underneath those clear skies in the north east quarter of scotland. but at least here you've got a bright start to sunday. that will not be the case as we look at this clapham junction here of frontal systems dominating the scene across the greater part of england and wales. so it is going to be a dank, miserable start to the day. there may be some dry weather for a time in the south—east quarter, but it may not last because we have to swing a portion of these weather fronts ever further to the south and east as the body of rain works its way into the north of england, eventually perhaps into the south—east quarter of scotland, on a day where the winds will not be much of a feature. so it is fairly slow changes about proceedings, but there will be some sunshine in northern and western scotland, northern ireland and eventually wales and the southern parts of england too. top temperature on the day nothing special, only 16 degrees. fairly complex picture as we move on into monday. again we have that same wiggling weather front, still wanting to push some cloud and rain back into the south—east

quarter, and it isjoined by another feature, which mayjust thicken up the cloud and bring rain to the very far west of cornwall, maybe to pembrokeshire, but certainly it will work its way into the heart of northern ireland, maybe south—west scotland later on. generally speaking, the further north and east you are, the drier and finer your day will be. take care. bye— bye.

this is bbc news. i'm samantha simmons. the headlines at 5pm. turkish forces continue to strike targets in north—eastern syria, on the fourth day of their offensive against kurdish forces. cheering. a moment of sporting history as kenyan athlete eliud kipchoge becomes the first person to run a marathon in under two hours. i am the happiest man to run under two hours in order to inspire many people, to tell people that no human is limited, you can do it. two people are killed as typhoon hagibis, the biggest storm to hitjapan in 60 years, makes landfall near tokyo. tens of thousands of people are being told to go to shelters, to leave their homes, because it is not clear whether these rivers are going to burst their banks tonight. # never mind i'll find someone like you