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tv   The Lives She Saved  BBC News  January 21, 2023 12:30am-1:01am GMT

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this is bbc news. the headlines... a major meeting of ukraine's allies has ended without agreement on whether to send more tanks to kyiv. representatives of around 50 countries gathered at the us airbase in ramstein in germany to discuss co—ordinating military support. the deputy head of the united nations has told the bbc there is some hope that women in afghanistan will be allowed to resume working for aid agencies — after holding high level talks with the country's taliban rulers. women and girls have suffered some restrictions since they took over. the european space agency is preparing to send a spacecraft to study three ofjupiter�*s moons — in one of its most ambitious missions yet. the craft will use scientific
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instruments to give us our best ever view of the moons, and to assess whether they could be habitable. now on bbc news — the lives she saved. she was just amazing. she had 26,000 followers. shows so much bravery, i think, to push through those really dark times. she had this persona of being extrovert and adventurous, whereas in reality, she was struggling.
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woman pants. sirens wail. 329, we need to get the west bank closed as a priority. never forget that day. obviously, that day was the lowest point of my life. beth touched the lives of so many. when somebody's willing to... ..think of others and to share their pain in such a raw manner and to be willing to think of others when you are at your lowest point, i think that takes a level of courage that, you know, frankly, most of us don't possess. there's people that have said that directly, that beth saved their lives. but it's just full of sadness, knowing that she didn't do the same for herself. we had plans. we had plans to meet. we were going to give each other the biggest hug you ever could. and i'm never, ever going to be
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able to do that now. dad went down to beth's grave and found a card, and he'd written in it about how beth had helped him. "i probably should explain why a completely random stranger "left this card and the flowers on beth's grave. "over the past year, her tweets and her blog have kept me alive." my name is robert, and beth matthews saved my life. "i first discovered her blog on a particularly dark day last may, "when i'd convinced myself that after work, i was going to go to the nearby canal
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and take my own life. "but instead, i couldn't stop reading. "when i'd finished, i was very sad, but the suicidal moment had gone. " and he'd taken the train down on his own and spent the night here to go and visit beth and thank her. the message of her being in a complete sort of devastating time in her life, but then getting through it, i'm like, "well, "if beth can get through this, then surely i can get through this." she just made it all real and all 0k in a world
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where everything's very not ok. the insomnia was just horrific, and i'd sit on the settee all the way through the night while my hubby and my kids were asleep and just feel like the loneliest person in the whole world and have plans to end my life and be trying not to act on those plans during the night. no matter what beth was going through, even when she was in hospital recovering from surgery... ..she was messaging me at two o'clock in the morning, being there for me. she was just amazing. to know that she was lying in a hospital bed absolutely terrified, in absolute agony, and she's still reaching out to you at two o'clock in the morning, telling you you can do it, telling you it's worth it, telling you you're worth it.
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me and beth were like two twins, we did absolutely everything together. i can still hear her little squeal of delight when she was doing something that was a little bit mischievous. even though i was the older one, she would always be supporting me, and that's... ijust miss that so much. remember when the sealjumped into the boat with her? yeah, yeah. i was screaming. beth was, like, trying to stroke it and pet it. she always had a great laugh, you know. i think that's what i'll really rememberfrom beth.
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that's beth there. that's me. she always just kind of lit up the room and always had a big smile. even up to more recently, when we'd go paddleboarding and stuff, like, i think i've got videos of her. she squeals and laughs. once she got into sailing when she was old enough, it just became her life. what did sailing, do you think, give her? freedom. music: kings and queens by thirty seconds to mars. it was a huge sense of adventure, challenge and independence, because she could sail incredibly well. she was... ..incredibly mature beyond her years.
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# into the night... # desperate and broken...# when did you begin to realise that actually, she was beginning to struggle with her mental health? um, it was only really when we got a call when she was 16, um, that she'd taken some tablets. that was the first incident. i had absolutely no idea up until that point, like, not a clue. um... and i remember it like it was yesterday. and after it happened, she reassured me that she'd scared herself and she wouldn't do it again and ijust remember feeling terrified to let her out of my sight after it had happened. she didn't talk about things when she was struggling, so i think she was always very good at being... because she was so intelligent, to kind of tell everyone
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so i just ran. i ran across the road. and i think as i got to the pavement, i was and she just said, "go away." and ijust lunged at her and i grabbed her. and i was trying to flag cars down for so long... ..until one lorry was about to drive past and he shouted out something out of the window and i was like, "help!" i was on top of her and i phoned the police and they asked, "what's her name?" and just in the panic, ijust shouted at her. i said, "what's your name?" she said, "beth." she'd been taken off by the police and they'd detained her and they'd been pleading with the mental health team to look after her. we know she shouldn't
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have been released. i i thought she was in safe hands. ithought, "0k, right. "she's going to be sectioned or whatever happens, "and she'll get help. " um, ididn�*t... i didn't think she would bejust let go. we received a call that morning. there was somebody stood on the wrong side of the railings. i'll be honest, i was scared. i was scared. from looking at beth's body language, um... ..i knew that she was fully intent onjumping. she'sjumped!
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bleep, bleep. ithink i swore, and i ran. i didn't even look over the bridge. ijust ran down the slip road and ran to her. i don't think i've ever run that long in my career. we laughed about it after because i could have gone down the bank, the grass bank, but for some reason i ran all the way down the road and round the road. 329, we need to get the west bank closed as a priority. and i ran up to her, expecting to, you know, see the worst. but she was lying there and she was conscious.
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she was breathing. and i, i held her hand. that's all i thought i could do in that moment. i walked back to the car. i remember passing a lady stood in the bus stop and i was almost sick in the bus stop as i walked past. and that was the last i thought i was going to see of... ..of beth. an absolute miracle that she survived that. and i think it's a testament to how strong beth is. but she sustained a lot of physical,
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life—changing injuries. she was in a coma for two weeks. she didn't know if she was ever going to walk again. she had to spend six weeks lying flat on her back, not being able to move. it just shows how strong she was because she did fight back and she got to the point where we were out walking the dog together and we did all the paddleboarding adventures together, and she did amazing things. you can see her standing up here. she's got ralph on her board and a big grin on herface. tell me about ralph. oh, so i got ralph in may 2019, and everyone in my family had told me, "don't get ralph. it's not the right time." he likes to dance. i remember being really upset, just thinking, "i really want beth to meet ralph" and just thinking, "i don't know if she ever will" and then, the first time i spoke to beth once she woke up from her coma, i'll neverforget the smile on her face. she absolutely loved ralph.
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he would lie there with her when she was flat on her back for hours. and then when she began to become more mobile, she was in her little wheelchair and i'd push her around and she would tell me, like, "go faster, let's make skid marks, let's race!" and she would have ralph sat on her lap and i've got all sorts of, like, funny videos with ralph sat on her lap and she would be like, "can we just take him round to see all the patients?" and ralph became not only a therapy dog for beth, but for everybody in the hospital. and then there seemed to come a remarkable moment. when she decided she had to open up and talk about this. yeah. what do you remember of that first post? ijust remember... i remember her
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telling me about it. and i told her it was such an amazing thing for her to be doing. and i know she felt very understandably nervous and anxious about it. but that first post, it was like an essay. like, she'd gone into detail about absolutely everything and was writing about how she'd fought to be here and how much she wanted to be here. and not only was she telling what she'd been through, but she was very encouraging of other people not to do the same thing. obviously, that day was the lowest point of my life.
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but now to be around people that supported me and cared about me and kind of... ..itjust showed me how much of a better place i was in and kind of how far i had come since that day. and it went viral. it went absolutely viral on facebook. and then that was the start of people contacting her. and then from then on, she just worked with the police and she started her twitter and her blog and people just really took to her and her story. through the honesty of that blog and tweets, beth touched the lives of so many. she was a truly lovely, genuine, funny and inspirational person. she touched people. she gave insight into the struggles she faced daily. beth was a lovely soul. her honesty to share her darkest moments with us so that we could all feel it was ok to not be ok. so i had the idea to make a book that i could hand over to the family that had, um...
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..who loved beth on twitter, why they loved beth on twitter, what difference beth made to them. she had 26,000 followers. you know, there isn'tjust a handful of us that think about beth on a daily basis. she still saves lives now. beth's contribution. was absolutely huge. i think it's incredibly- difficult for people to talk about being in a state - of crisis and feeling suicidal. and i think what beth did more powerfully than almost anyone | was just explain those raw, really difficult, really - challenging moments. the effect of that was that thousands of other peoplej who on a daily basis feel- the same stopped feeling alone. and i think it gave - huge comfort to people.
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and i think we know— from the experiences and work that we do that people say that kind of willingness _ to share actually saved other people's lives. i she got the whole of us captivated for an hour and a half. it wasjust... just amazing, really. i'm sergeant nigel roberts, force coordinator for the negotiator team in staffordshire. it was quite simply quite electrifying in a way, because it wasjust... we'd never had that insight before. with many of us, it did make a difference because we could be stood with somebody maybe beth's age, different circumstances, different location, and we could say, "look, "we've spoken to somebody that jumped and survived. "this is the real impact of what happened to them.
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"this is what could happen to you, "but it doesn't need to be like that." she wasjust resolute in the fact that she would do anything that she could to help other people and help it not happen to them. nervous. i think equally, both of us were very nervous. and i sort of remember seeing her and we hugged. and both of us were quite emotional. and we spoke about the day that she jumped. what did she say about it? she said that i shouldn't blame myself, that i couldn't have done anything differently. speaking to herand... ..knowing a bit more about her life... you know, i can see
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the good that she did. and is still doing. she realised that she was developing something and she could actually start to think that "actually, there's people out there that are benefiting from my knowledge and understanding." she definitely saved my life. and i would imagine just- from going through the replies to her tweets, that there are probably thousands i of people, you know, like me out there. i knowing she was reaching people and doing good, what did that do for her? i think it gave her a purpose. she wanted to help other people, even though she was struggling to help herself.
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i knew that she hadn't fully recovered and she was still in a lot of pain and i knew that that was affecting her mental health. and then i get a call from mum to say that "she's gone back into hospital." she'd been up on top of bridges again. those negative thoughts of hers just became more and more dominant. theyjust developed in such a way that it became a one—way street for her. but it still didn't stop her helping other people. no. the whole time she was in hospital, she was still tweeting. she was still messaging people, encouraging them. there was still that fight in her. and when i last saw her, she said, "i do want to be here."
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i feel let down. i know beth felt let down. something occurred in a place where she was supposed to be safe that should never have been allowed to happen. you know, she was| an amazing person.
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when i heard that that beth had died, it was like i'd been- kicked in the stomach. it was just such a waste of a young life and such a talent and somebody that . would have gone on and done such good for other people. she deserved a happy ending. i'll forget that she's not here any more, and then i'll remember. and it's heartbreaking again. and sometimes i'lljust sit there and i'lljust be like... "no. how can she not be here any more? it's not real. " it was only about three or four months before beth, i'd lost my dad to suicide and... itjust, it hit me so deep because ijust thought, "not again." and i realised how many people in this world there are who suffer.
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ijust needed, because i couldn't stop my dad, none of us could have stopped my dad, but i thought i could stop this. i could help this one person. and i think that's why it hurt so much when i found out she was actually gone. yeah, i think when she started doing the blogs and things, i think she was finally talking. and i think that's always a huge point of mental health, is to talk about it and to be aware that other people are in that situation. you're not on your own with it. and i think beth was trying to make that message very clear. what was her overwhelming message? i think it's to talk. tell somebody how you feel. know that you're not alone. and you aren't... whilst you feel very trapped in that situation, there are people out there who are there to talk to and are there
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to ultimately help you. i think the legacy that lives on is that support and encouragement that she gave to people and that relatability that somebody who was willing to share what it was like to have the toughest possible moments and i think, tragic though it is to have lost her, i think it's all of the lives that have been saved as a result of that willingness to share that is something we should hold on to now. i hold on to all the happy memories, definitely, because there was a lot, but also the ability that she had to touch other people's lives. it was more than touch. she had a huge impact. but even though what's happened to beth means she can't continue, i think, for me, she would want her work to continue with helping other people. and if this helps one other person, i know beth will be smiling.
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hello. the weekend will remain pretty
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cold for most of us, particularly in england and wales. some mist and fog in the morning, too, perhaps around the midlands, through yorkshire. but in scotland and northern ireland, somewhat different story here — the winds actually blowing in from the south, often cloudy, milder, spits and spots of rain around the western isles. eight celsius in belfast, nine in stornoway, whereas further east and south, it'll be quite a bit colder despite the sunshine. now, here's the forecast for saturday night into sunday — notice how these southwesterly winds continue in western areas. outbreaks of rain around the western isles, and a lot milder here. and once again, a frost early in the morning on sunday, further towards the east and the south. and then, sunday itself remains cloudy and damp at times across western areas. mild here, too — whereas in the south and the east, it remains cold, in fact, very cold in norwich and hull. temperatures only a couple of degrees above freezing sunday.
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this is bbc news.
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i'm monika plaha. our top stories: western defence chiefs fail to agree on the provision of advanced tanks to ukraine. the americans say it's still under discussion. you may have heard the german minister of defence earlier say they've not made a decision on the provision of leopard tanks. chris hipkins is set to become new zealand's next prime minister, replacing jacinda ardern who stood down on thursday. a top un official tells the bbc she believes progress is being made towards reversing bans on women taking part in public life in afghanistan. and forget life on mars — how about life onjupiter? we report from the space mission heading for the largest planet in our solar system.

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