dream of. all actors couldn't dream of. all the time crushed under the weight of a secret identity battle. now he is ready to sherry the more about his life and he has invited us for a sit down chat to talk about gender, mental health and his career in hollywood. elliot page, welcome to the bbc and thank you for speaking to ask. . ~ and thank you for speaking to ask. ., ~ , ., and thank you for speaking to ask. ., ~ i. ., ., ask. thank you for having me and wanting _ ask. thank you for having me and wanting to _ ask. thank you for having me and wanting to talk. - ask. thank you for having me and wanting to talk. how- ask. thank you for having me and wanting to talk. how are | and wanting to talk. how are ou and wanting to talk. how are you doing — and wanting to talk. how are you doing right _ and wanting to talk. how are you doing right now? - and wanting to talk. how are you doing right now? i - and wanting to talk. how are you doing right now? i am i and wanting to talk. how are . you doing right now? i am doing re you doing right now? i am doing pretty good- _ you doing right now? i am doing pretty good- we _ you doing right now? i am doing pretty good. we are _ you doing right now? i am doing pretty good. we are here - you doing right now? i am doing pretty good. we are here to - pretty good. we are here to talk about _ pretty good. we are here to talk about your _ pretty good. we are here to talk about your book, - pretty good. we are here to talk about your book, your. talk about your book, your first book, your memoir, what made you want to write the book now? , ., , ., .,

now? gosh, well, one of the reasons _ now? gosh, well, one of the reasons was _ now? gosh, well, one of the reasons was that _ now? gosh, well, one of the reasons was that it - now? gosh, well, one of the reasons was that it really - now? gosh, well, one of the| reasons was that it really felt possible for the first time. in the past, before stepping into my truth, being in his body there was no way i could have sat down and been steel with myself, long enough to focus and to do something like this. just the act of being able to do that and create an feeling this all come out was so exhilarating and, and, this time now there isjust, you know, horrific attacks towards the trans community, constant misinformation and lies about our lives, and having this platform that i do have, it felt like the right time, i suppose, to share my story. especially knowing how much it is meant to me when people have said there's. is meant to me when people have said there's-—

said there's. there is a beautiful _ said there's. there is a beautiful quote - said there's. there is a beautiful quote in - said there's. there is a | beautiful quote in there said there's. there is a - beautiful quote in there from someone i haven't heard before and the quote is "this world has many ends in beginnings, the cycle ends and something remains, maybe a spark so bright will bloom again." can you tell us who copeland is? he is a you tell us who copeland is? he: is a huge fan, such that i'm a huge fan of his, and incredible musician, a trans— elder who has had an extraordinary story and life. and that is from a song called a song and many moons. i really really resonated with those words in my life and at so many points i found myself saying i will never grow old, i will never be a woman, what do i want to do? ijust want to a woman, what do i want to do? i just want to be a ten—year—old boy and i would say this a lot and i started realising, old, that is the last time i felt like myself

and when i look like myself and i was in my body knew who i was and i had this bark, you know? now i'm finally feeling that spark again. it is coming back. the book touches on so many themes but one that really jumped out was redefining masculinity. what does that mean to you?— masculinity. what does that mean to you? masculinity. what does that mean to ou? ,, mean to you? gosh... i guess it means to _ mean to you? gosh... i guess it means to me — mean to you? gosh... i guess it means to me in _ mean to you? gosh... i guess it means to me in so _ mean to you? gosh... i guess it means to me in so many - mean to you? gosh... i guess it means to me in so many ways l means to me in so many ways about how, you know, whether we are trans— or sis orc where, we are trans— or sis orc where, we are immediately indoctrinated and told how to act and we are putting a box, etc and then in so many ways are encouraged to not be emotional, share feelings, aggressive is encouraged and we have toxic mexican validity as a result of that, you know, from —— toxic

masculinity, and for myself being able to find my truth and being able to find my truth and be able to exist the way you want to exist in the world, i hope that for everyone and i hope that for everyone and i hopein hope that for everyone and i hope in so many ways, those expectations of what it means to be a man, what masculinity means can also be redefined and healed. ., , ., ., ., healed. you grew up in canada. and we have — healed. you grew up in canada. and we have a _ healed. you grew up in canada. and we have a global— healed. you grew up in canada. and we have a global audiencel and we have a global audience and all of our images may not have a image of what halifax may look like. what was that like? . ., ., ., ., , may look like. what was that like? . ., ., ., ., like? halifax nova scotia is a beautiful place _ like? halifax nova scotia is a beautiful place and _ like? halifax nova scotia is a beautiful place and there - like? halifax nova scotia is a | beautiful place and there was very little representation when i was growing up. almost none when i was growing up. i didn't really have examples of clearness or trans— identities

clearness or tra ns— identities in clearness or trans— identities in my life, hardly whatsoever, to be honest. i in my life, hardly whatsoever, to be honest.— to be honest. i think many of us can identify _ to be honest. i think many of us can identify that _ to be honest. i think many of us can identify that you - to be honest. i think many of us can identify that you find i us can identify that you find the one person closest like you and you find ways to spend time around them. especially communities we feel like you cannot be yourself? it's a universal experience in communities where we feel that we can't be ourselves. yeah, yeah, yeah. i definitely felt myself getting pulled to individuals who i knew were — or in retrospect were — you know, queer. and even those little, you know, sparks of... ..a feeling reflected, or seeing someone who might be having a similar experience to me, that's something that continued through my teen years, absolutely. and really reinforces the importance of community, because even those tiny sparks

or moments meant so much. and then i held on to them. and, erm... it's — yeah, it's such a crucial part of us figuring out who we are and making it through the world, you know? you struck me as quite a shy, private boy growing up. you talk about private play. that doesn't. .. maybe i'm seeing this wrong, because i'm not around a lot of actors, but that doesn't sort of naturally strike itself with someone who would then go on to act or perform to the world. am i viewing it wrong? no, it's sort of — you know, it happened relatively accidentally when i was ten. a gentleman came to my school looking for kids to audition for a movie, a cbc movie of the week. but i wasn't, like, drama club. and i did always want my mum to take me to the school plays, even if it was the older kids. and i probably had no idea what was even going

on in the play. i was clearly fixated on it and i think for me it definitely... ..allowed for some kind of an escape to a degree. and i don't know if that was a way, like an escape from myself, or having the space where you got to feel... ..just feel your true emotions. but something in me, i guess, was always attracted to the idea of it, and then itjust sort of naturally progressed. what was that like — kind of first seeing yourself on tv and kind of going through a childhood then, in the public eye? yeah, well, ifeel like i got kind of lucky that it was in canada, so it was definitely not, i think, the same as if it happened here. by here, i mean hollywood —

we're in hollywood. and that visibility is obviously much more intense, i think. so i feel lucky that i was acting, but still had a pretty kind of regular life. but it was an interesting time because it was thrilling and exciting. i felt so lucky to be doing it. i was having a lot of fun doing it, but that was this interesting time where i became an actor at ten, a professional actor at ten. and ten was probably the age when i kind of first was really looking like myself. like, i'd sort of burnt my mum out to a degree to, like, be wearing the clothes i wanted and have the haircut i wanted and all these things. and then there was a shift, of course, because then i became an actor and i was playing all these, you know, female roles.

and, so... ..it was this juxtaposition of really enjoying acting, the escape of it, what it brought into my life, all the people i met. and, erm... but the complication was the discomfort that came with it. and even if i was playing a part... ..that didn't — you know, that didn't really make a difference, so to speak, because... you know, the thought is, "well, you're an actor, just. just do the role? "..do the role, put on the clothes, etc." but that progressively became more and more challenging. it's incredibly hard to explain to people. it's hard to explain to yourself, you know, why do i feel this way? why am i so uncomfortable all the time? how can i be so ungrateful to be having this experience in this life and...

..be pretty unhappy? we spoke about gender and shared the degree of my discomfort. even when i was playing a role, i couldn't wear feminine clothes any more. how i always struggled in the summer when layers were not an option, and the presence of my breasts under my t—shirt forced me to incessantly crane my neck, sneaking quick peeks down. i would pull on my shirt, my posture folded. walking down the sidewalk, i'd glance at a store window to check my profile. my brain consumed. i had to avoid my reflection. i couldn't look at pictures, because i was never there. like you said, we're in hollywood right now. and i read...in the book you say it's more of a myth. not a place, it's a concept. which is totally true — i'd not... because, to me, it's a place.

but, actually, you're right, it's a concept. and ifelt, i have to say, reading it, ifelt very defensive to you when i heard about, you know, as a young child, what you had gone through. you mean in regards to the industry? in regards to the questions being asked about your sexuality. those comments to a child. what is it about this industry that, you know, that's so aware of image, that seems to be doing this to young lgbt people? i don't know. like, a lack of empathy, i suppose. i don't know the impulse, particularly when people don't know individual situations, where they're at with it, where they are in their journey, you know, potentially the consequences of what that could mean for themselves and in their lives.

and i'd say, you know, potentially things are a bit better. the articles you're referencing that came out in 2008, i imagine if those came out now about someone, i mean, they'd be probably a bit eviscerated for writing something like that, you know. but, yeah, it's still... i don't know why there's such a... ..why aspects of hollywood are just still so far behind in so many ways. how much of that noise do you listen to on, you know, parts of social media, the lies, the hateful rhetoric, the certain parts that use trans people for clickbait or, you know, as a political football. imean... how much do you take in? well, i mean, if you... you know, if you look at the news, you can't avoid it. you know, you don't even have to go into the social media sphere — which i do try

my best to just avoid. it's not healthy to look at, of course. but, yeah. i mean, you have, like, you know, mainstream publications and, you know, progressive publications that, you know, perpetuate these, you know, views that suggest that our lives are up for debate or whether us using the bathroom is up for debate or, you know... i mean, the list goes on and on. there's days where i'm like — i actuallyjust can't look at the news because i can't see another guy... i mean, i always want to stay informed and be, you know, aware and up to date on what's going on, of course. but there's also some days that are like, i can't, just for my mental health, engage with... ..this harmful, harmful rhetoric. you announced your transition on instagram in 2020.

how would you look back on that time now? 0h. i mean, it was a time that was... ..full of... ..tremendous relief, in so many ways. like... .."0h, my god." like, i finally got here, and i finally let myself be myself. because, i mean, years and years of turmoil about it, of getting really close and then pulling away, talking myself out of it, you know, itjust feeling too big. and being a public person and being an actor and what would that even look like to go through, you know? "oh, you just need to learn to be more comfortable, "get the tighter sports bras, you know, this new haircut, "this new clothing, whatever." like, just... anything to make you feel yourself. yeah. and so it was, you know, an incrediblyjoyful period. and it was also quite

overwhelming, of course. so, yeah, it was... it was definitely a beautiful, but also an intense time. really overwhelming. you said in your post that one of the things you wanted to do was use your platform to elevate the voices of other trans people around the world. why is that important to you? oh, gosh. well, i mean... you know, i think of the moments i have that have been really difficult. you know. in some ways i do feel i barely made it. and i think of what i've gone through, despite my privilege, the resources i have to access health care, you know, mental—health care and other gender—affirming care. and... i'm, you know, in this position where it's just, you know, to me, there's no

question i absolutely have to use my privilege and my platform to do what i can to, in whatever way, to help the community — especially right now. and, erm... because so many people do not have access to what i have, or are losing the little access that they did have and... yeah. so to me, it'sjust, there's sort of no question about it. hi, i'm atsu. i'm a trans man from santiago, chile. i'm a photographer for an lgbtq+ band here in chile. and i was wondering, from one artist to another, what would you say to the trans youth that want to pursue an artistic career, to empower them to become the representation that we need as trans people?

for, you know, me, like, thinking of when i was starting out, i certainly... i certainly wish i'd just listened to my instincts and trust myself, you know, above all. hi, my name is nomsa milani and i am 25 years old from i south africa in a small town called pietermaritzburg. - so there'sjust one question that i would like to ask- you today — is there anything you regret| regarding your transition? i don't have any regrets. if we were to share, - idon't have any regrets. i would say ijust regret not starting sooner. - i actually feel pretty much the same way. i regret absolutely nothing other than, yeah, i wish this had happened earlier in my life.

it can be a lot sometimes, is the honest truth. you know, again, ijust always go back to... ..the position i'm in is the reason why i have the resources i have, to access the health care that's allowed me to be here, that's allowed me to finally begin to exist as my real self. hi, i'm adam harry, i'm a 24—year—old trans man from india, and i'm the country's first transgender person to hold a private pilot licence. when i first came out as a trans man, the authorities made me unfit and i was restricted from flying. my family was ashamed of my gender identity. then i was put under house arrest for almost a year, and i was taken through invisible conversion therapies and correction therapies. this is notjust my story. this is the story of many trans

people in the world. so what is your message to those trans people who is going through their difficult times? my message is just to hold on and to love yourself with all your might and to know that there's absolutely nothing wrong with you and... ..and to reach out for support where you can find it. you know, if you can access community in real life, to me, that's what's transformed my life in so many ways. i just want to send all my love to anyone who's struggling right now with feeling... ..rejected or shamed. it's not about you. it's about them. how do you imagine acting in the next few years?

i mean, ifeel, you know, more excited about acting than i have in a very, very, very long time. and i think... i guess that's the same way for basically everything right now. i'm more excited about everything because i feel so different in a way i never thought i could before. but even... we just finished the final season of umbrella and just the difference on set, and how much more embodied ifeel, and centred, and... just being able to start as me versus feeling separate, versus feeling the sensation to flee, versus being in my trailer with constant discomfort and then, you know, going out and just sort of getting through the day in so many ways, is what felt like a lot of my life. how do you see your future in the next few years? do you see fatherhood?

no, i've never... i don't... i'm not really too interested in having kids, to be honest. but i guess you never know. i know, people have said that and changed their mind, of course. but right now, i reallyjust... ..i do feel like i'm really living my life for the first time. things feel new and exciting and... and i don't know how to describe it, other than it's sort of even less the big things or the more obvious moments, or... i just feel so present for the first time and the sense of stillness and ease and... ..i just want that to exist in my life. like, if really cool work comes, and parts, and, you know, getting to produce and all of that's thrilling.

of course i want to do that, but i'm just really happyjust getting to live my life and wake up and walk my dog and hang out with friends and feel like i'm really in my body for the first time, if that makes sense. it makes total sense. thank you so much, elliot page. thank you. hello there. it was a very thundery start to the weekend, and particularly so across parts of the west midlands, into north—west england. and later, those storms spread their way northwards, into scotland, during the overnight period. part two of the weekend looks

a little bit better. there will be sunny spells around, but further showers too and low pressure always close by, and these weather fronts, which will continue to generate these showers and thunderstorms. now, we start sunday off on a bright note, plenty of sunshine. that's the overnight rain — thundery in places, clearing northwards, so it could be quite wet in 0rkney all day. an area of rain, some of it thundery, could affect east anglia and the south—east for a time through the morning. then that clears into the afternoon, and then it's sunny spells, scattered showers. most of these, northern ireland, wales and western england. now, it's going to be a cooler, fresher day across the board. top temperature, around 23 degrees in the south—east. so we could have some disruption at wimbledon for that early rain. but then, into the afternoon, it does look like conditions will improve, with increasing amounts of sunshine. so as you move into sunday evening, most of the showers fade away — not completely, but most of them will. we'll see lengthy, clearer skies, but across the south—west, here, we'll see some cloud thickening, with increasing breeze too. temperatures lower, fresher than what we've had over the last few nights.

range from 10 to 12 degrees. cooler than that out of towns and cities. this area of low pressure will throw out further weather fronts into the south—west. this area of cloud will thicken up further. we'll see outbreaks of rain, strengthening winds — south—west england, into wales, pushing into the midlands. some of this could be quite heavy. elsewhere, it's sunny spells, scattered showers. so we could be up to around 2a degrees in the south—east, given plenty of sunshine. a little bit lower than that further north. but as you move out of monday into tuesday, this area of low pressure sits right on top of the uk, so a really unsettled day, i think, on tuesday. it'll be quite breezy. there will be some sunny spells in—between, but showers or longer spells of rain, and some of these showers could turn out to be heavy and thundery in places. pretty much anywhere could catch a shower. and temperatures will be lower, 16 to 21 or 22 degrees. that's below par for the time of year. and temperatures fall further as we move deeper into the week. this area of low pressure pushes towards the north of the uk,

bringing some cooler air down on that north—westerly wind. so it stays unsettled for much of this upcoming week, with temperatures below par for the time of year. there will still be some sunshine in between the showers.

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