announcer: there are artists we will always remember. >> ♪ mona lisa no one has seen the first five

episodes of the cara barnett's show since they were there. excitingt the most news. time life will be releasing them for everybody to enjoy. they are here in a vault and i will look at them now. >> it was like a gang of friends putting on the show. and it happened to be seen by millions and millions of people. >> promo, take one. carol: hi, this is carol burnett. be sure to watch my first show. my extra special guest will be private gomer pyle himself. jim nabors. >> it's on. >> you haven't seen anything yet. >> do you know who i am? >> no. >> in that case, please

continue. >> i've got a girl for you. >> good evening, your majesty. >> now it is time for you to show us your talent. so we're -- [laughter] julie: they accomplished in one hour more songs, more dances, more spoofs, more skits, more comedy. >> what's the matter with her? >> what makes you think something is the matter? >> her mouth is not moving. that's not like her. carol: here they are. pretty wonderful. tim conway's first appearance is here. and my very first show with my very first guest, jim nabors. and my hero lucille ball. bob newhart. i can't wait to see this. >> who is the midget? [laughter] >> that's our daughter, mildred junior. >> why didn't you tell me we had a child? [laughter]

>> i hate you, mr. foxworth. >> oh yes. >> i hate you. i hate your flower, you savage. where does it say savage? [laughter] >> my name is geraldine. [laughter] >> oh, pardon me, sir. [laughter] >> welcome to the castle. >> he's prettier than i am. [laughter] >> gasp! one never knows who is going to come into your life. [doorbell rings] >> that's the doorbell. >> oh, i can't see anyone now. i can't. i just can't. >> it's a man. >> open the door. >> sgt. mullins, do you have to hold me so tight? >> i don't like this job either, but we have to act like we are a couple, so we have to pretend, all right? >> all right. as long as you keep it on that basis.

[laughter] >> what makes you think it could be anything else? >> well -- [laughter] [laughter] [applause] carol: i am really proud of the first five seasons of my show, and i am really happy to have a chance to share them with you. queen latifah: i have never seen anyone on tv quite like carol burnett. kirstin: she does it all. sings, acts, dances. hilarious and beautiful. tony: she made it look effortless.

announcer: introducing "the carol burnett show, the lost episodes." a brand new collection exclusively from time life. >> may i see it? ♪ [laughter] announcer: 21 incredible episodes on eight dvd's that are truly straight from the vault. >> those of you who doubt, can you believe it now? announcer: you may think you've seen "the carol burnett show." you may think you own the entire "carol burnett show" on dvd. >> any other gifts? announcer: but you don't have these lost episodes. >> where are you? announcer: now, for the first time, they are all here in one exclusive collection. >> you heard it here first. announcer: all the fabulous firsts. >> welcome to our very first show that we are doing. i am happy and excited you are with us. looks like we have a nice, full group.

could we pop up the lights? oh! gorgeous. announcer: all the hilarious crack ups. [laughter] >> where is he? >> he's right -- oh -- [laughter] [laughter] [applause] announcer: and long-lost performances by entertainment legends -- lucille ball, bob newhart, don rickles, and more.

these are the funniest, most dazzling, the most inspiring moments from the best variety show of all time. >> ♪ i didn't know just what was right but now i think i do as my belated gift i give the angel child to you happy birthday to you ♪ [laughter] announcer: and you'll get to see them first. >> ♪ but i couldn't ♪ >> ♪ what is the matter? are you choosey? ♪ announcer: so call or go online to order the lost episodes for five payments of $19.99.

you will get 21 uncut, original shows that haven't been seen since they first aired. >> i am really quite pleased with what we have done today, aren't you? >> oh yes. >> you know, marion, i have never painted anyone in the nude before. >> really? >> no, usually i keep my clothes on. [laughter] announcer: plus, call in the next 18 minutes and we will send two free bonus dvd's. you will get a total of more than 11 hours of exclusive bonus features. you will go on a backstage tour with the original cast. >> this is the first time i have ever been in this building. >> stop it. announcer: see brand-new interviews. kristin: when i think back to my first memories of watching "carol burnett", it was with my dad and him laughing his butt off. i have vague memories of him laughing so hard and i knew i wanted to do that, whatever was making him laugh.

announcer: featurettes. >> ♪ you don't have to say you love me ♪ announcer: bloopers. >> just a week ago, she was with us, singing and laughing. she's still laughing. [laughter] >> but now she's gone. [laughter] announcer: and rare gems from carol's early days. >> are you still in the entertainment field? announcer: and that's not all. you will also receive a special gift for carol to you -- a collectible guestbook with personal notes from carol's famous friends and fans. bill hader: i just wrote in the guestbook "marry me." but, you know, you don't have to. announcer: and we are so convinced you fall in love with the lost episodes that we will ship it for free. your satisfaction is guaranteed. if you don't absolutely love the lost episodes, we will refund

your purchase price, no questions asked. but wait, there's more. call or visit our website for an amazing offer from carol and time life. carol herself will sign a limited number of the lost episode collections made out to anyone you choose, but you will have to act fast. these vip editions are one-of-a-kind collector's items, and when they are gone, they are gone. carol: i look forward to signing a collection for you soon. announcer: "the carol burnett show: the lost episodes" is an incredible value. >> brace yourself. announcer: 21 star-studded episodes, hours of brand-new exclusive extras, and the collectible guestbook, all for just five payments of $19.99. >> these hands were meant to hold charge cards. look at that. perfect. perfect. announcer: and we will ship it for free. you can't watch it online. you can't buy it in stores. you don't already have it on dvd. you can only buy the "lost episodes" here with this exclusive tv offer.

>> this will give you a chance to get to know us for the swell folks we are. announcer: order now. >> "carol burnett show" promo, take one. carol: hi there, i'm carol burnett. my guest will be the fabulous -- [stuttering] [laughter] carol: and the funny jonathan winters. each time i get goosebumps going back to the stage because of the wonderful memories. [laughter] [applause] [laughter] >> why, it's cannoga falls' most lovable buttinski.

come in, mother marcus. >> hello, mary. carol: this was my dressing room, and right out here is where the cue card guys were. >> ♪ you must have played a hundred parts in pictures from clean-cut college kids to dirty rats i love you in them all but the one thing i recall -- [laughter] ♪ [laughter] [applause] carol: i saw him running because he wasn't there with the cards. [laughter]

carol: oh, that's funny. queen latifah: one of my favorite things to watch about the show was when they would break characters. >> we are going to have a shoot off? >> a shoot off? >> a shoot off? [laughter] >> i can't leave a job half-finished? >> no. >> who said i can't even jump? >> i said. >> who are you? >> my husband. >> right! [laughter] >> how many passes have you made at a bull? >> oh, i have made a few, but it is kind of silly. you know, so you get a date with one. where are you going to take him? [laughter] >> it tickles. steve: i can only imagine being there felt like a party. ♪

>> ♪ i think i love you >> ♪ or maybe you never will do ♪ >> ♪ or maybe it is something i ate ♪ [laughter] julie: oh my god, i would have never dared to do anything like that. she went all out. alan: tim conway has the ability to crack you up. just looking at you. burt: such a riot to do that

show. it was the most fun i have ever had on stage. >> hello, lost and found? i would like to report a loss. announcer: introducing "the carol burnett show: the lost episodes." a brand-new collection exclusively from time life. >> i will make the jolly green giant say ho, ho, ho. announcer: 21 episodes on eight dvds that are truly straight from the vault. >> my blood pressure just went up. announcer: you may think you have seen "the carol burnett show," you may think own the complete show on dvd, but you don't have these lost episodes. >> and now, the moment the entire universe has been waiting for. announcer: now, for the first time, they are all here in one exclusive collection. >> simpson? >> yes? >> have you started on -- [laughter] announcer: all the fabulous firsts. >> here are all the sports scores. 2-1, 3-5, and 8-2. [laughter] >> the 8-2 is a final.

announcer: all the hilarious crack-ups. >> father, you've got to hide me. you've got to hide me father. >> this is the police. come out, fingers. we know you are in there. >> what'd i tell you? father, you've got to hide me. you've got to hide me. [laughter] [knocking on door] >> we've got to get a new parish, father. >> let's pray for it. announcer: and long-lost performances by entertainment legends. bob hope, sonny and cher, bing crosby, and more. >> yeah, honey, she did it. yeah, honey, she did it. announcer: these are the funniest, most dazzling, most memorable moments from the greatest variety show of all time.

>> ♪ happy >> ♪ when you are near me >> ♪ happy >> ♪ when you hear me announcer: and you get to see them first. >> ♪ happy all the time >> ♪ that's what i am! ♪ >> i'll make a phone call if you don't mind. announcer: so call or order online to get the lost episodes for five payments of $19.99. >> wonderful. announcer: you will get 21 uncut, original shows that have not been seen since they first aired. plus, call in the next 12 minutes and we will send you two free bonus dvds. you will get a total of over 11 hours of brand-new and exclusive bonus features. carol: my god, the memories. announcer: you will go on a backstage tour with the original cast. >> if you wanted to see what cher was wearing on any given night, i said, oh my god, you've got to see cher's gown. here's where we'd go. announcer: brand-new interviews and featurettes. jim: i always knew i could be elevated by the skill, the talent, the originality of people on the show. announcer: never before seen bloopers. [laughter]

[applause] announcer: and rare gems from carol's early days. ♪ announcer: and that's not all -- you will also receive a special gift from carol to you -- a collectible guestbook with personal notes from carol's famous friends and fans. >> i adore you. announcer: and we are so convinced you will fall in love with "the lost episodes" that we will ship it for free. your satisfaction is guaranteed. if you don't absolutely love "the lost episodes," we will refund your purchase price, no questions asked. but wait, there's more! call or visit our website for an amazing offer from carol and time life -- carol herself will sign a limited number of collections made out to anyone you choose. but you have to act fast -- these vip editions are one of a kind collector's items, and when they are gone, they are gone. carol: i look forward to signing

a collection for you soon. announcer: "the carol burnett show: the lost episodes" is an incredible value. >> you can say that again. announcer: 21 star-studded episodes, hours of brand-new, exclusive extras, and the collectible guestbook all for just five payments of $19.99. and we will ship it for free. >> no kidding? announcer: you can't watch it online. you won't find it in stores. you don't already have it on dvd. you can only find the lost episodes here with this exclusive tv offer. > where's the phone? where's the phone? announcer: order now. carol: hi there, i'm carol burnett. in addition to our regular gang, my guest this week is betty grable and my poison, martha reynolds. [laughter] carol: i knew i would say that. my "paison." this is a room where during the

show, the writers would sit and watch the show on the monitor and take notes. especially the first show, the dress rehearsal. and then we would get our notes and improve we would hope for the second show at 8:00. >> tell me everything that happened. [stuttering] >> you went to the bank? >> [stuttering] >> you took the papers out of the vault? carol: hello. arnie and buzz and dale and danny. i'm really glad we are all here to talk about the lost episodes. these are some of our top writers that we had. >> what is your name? >> see these pans? >> let's hope little phoebe pans out. that was funny, dummy. [laughter] >> what did you say your name was again? >> ethel. ethel mermaid.

>> i am just a gorgeous flamenco dancer at the local cantina. but one who has seen you many times and always admired your bravery. >> i have seen you many times also, senorita. i've always admired your castanets. [laughter] >> that is your husband, correct? >> yes. >> you were with him the night he was killed, correct? >> yes. >> you killed him. >> no. >> two out of three isn't bad. [laughter] >> poor young boy has not walked in a year. >> a week. >> a week! he has had a week with a shattered leg. >> a sprained ankle. >> a sprained ankle! >> phoebe! >> don't phoebe, me be. i've got a song inside of me and it is going to come out. [hiccupping] [laughter] >> ♪ when i'm with you, baby i am with you rain and shine ♪ [laughter]

>> ♪ things may be cloudy [laughter] bill: she's so charming and genuine and sweet, and very american. it was a very american show. >> ♪ i carry a flag of red, white, and blue ♪ >> ♪ i carry a flag of red, white, and blue ♪ >> that absolutely did it. i am leaving this house. and i am not coming back until the end of the football season. in case you missed it, here is the instant replay. [laughter]

[applause] shirley: it was the best variety show, i think, that was ever on the air. carol channing: i can't tell you enough about carol burnett and her generosity. julie: she's got this quality about her that is adorable. >> when i drove up here, something jumped out of the carriage and started snapping at my wheels. >> snapping? >> yes. [laughter] announcer: introducing "the carol burnett show: the lost episodes," a brand-new collection exclusively from time life. >> what you're about to see will absolutely amaze you. announcer: 21 incredible episodes on eight dvd's that are truly straight from the vaults. >> this is realy hard stuff. announcer: you may think you've seen "the carol burnett show." >> oh, boy, oh boy, oh boy. announcer: you may think you own the complete "carol burnett

show" on dvd. >> the last time you were with a tri -- tri -- you see what happens? you got me so upset, the gums locked. announcer: but you don't have these lost episodes. >> i came back. i came back. announcer: now, for the first time, they are all here in one exclusive collection. all the fabulous firsts. >> i am sending you away to sun city. [laughter] announcer: all the hilarious crack-ups. >> so do you know where that roller is that we had? [laughter] >> i think i -- [laughter] >> you are going to love living in this building. the neighbors are so helpful. announcer: and long-lost performances by entertainment legends. joan rivers, jonathan winters, phyllis diller, and more. >> you are the girl i met and fell in love with last night.

>> [shrieking] that's right. announcer: these are the funniest, most dazzling, memorable moments from the greatest variety show of all time. and you will get to see them first. so call or go online to order "the lost episodes" for five payments of $19.99. >> this is so exciting. announcer: you will get 21 uncut, original shows that haven't been seen since they first aired. >> i am torn between good and evil. [laughter] should i choose this young and innocent maiden and a lifetime of sweet matrimony? [applause] or shall i throw away my life for one hour of mad passion? [boos] sweetheart? >> yes? >> i will be back in an hour. [laughter] announcer: plus, call in the next three minutes and we will send you two free bonus dvd's. you'll get a total of over 11

hours of brand-new and exclusive bonus features. you will go on a backstage tour with the original cast. carol: this was my dressing room. it has been redecorated a lot. announcer: see brand-new interviews. >> i loved her so much. i was such a fan. announcer: featurettes. >> what would julie andrews do in a spot like this? julie: unabashed, unashamedly fun. >> i bet she would sing. hit it. announcer: never before seen bloopers. [laughter] announcer: and rare gems from carol's early days. >> ♪ i've always been shy ♪

announcer: and that's not all -- you will also receive a special gift from carol to you -- a collectible guestbook with personal notes from carol's famous friends and fans. jack: i don't go anywhere without your picture in my back pocket. announcer: and we are so convinced you will all in love with "the lost episodes," we will ship it for free. your satisfaction is guaranteed. if you don't absolutely love "the lost episodes," we will refund your purchase price. no questions asked. but wait, there's more. call or visit our website for an amazing offer from carol and time life. carol herself will sign a limited number of the lost episode collections made out to anyone you choose. but you will have to act fast -- these vip editions are one-of-a-kind collector's items, and when they are gone, they are gone. carol: i look forward to signing a collection for you soon. announcer: "the carol burnett show: the lost episodes" is a -- an incredible value. >> [shrieking] goll-y! announcer: 21 star-studded episodes, hours of brand-new exclusive extras, and the collectible guestbook, all for just five payments of $19.99. and we will ship it for free. you can't watch it online. you won't find it in stores.

you don't already have it on dvd. you can only find "the lost episodes" here with this exclusive tv offer. >> you want to use the phone? [phone rings] >> the telephone. [laughter] announcer: order now. burt: ♪ i'm so glad we had this time together ♪ >> ♪ just to have a laugh or sing a song ♪ >> ♪ seems we just get started and before you know it ♪ >> ♪ comes the time we have to say so long ♪ carol: seeing all these episodes after so many years is such a thrill -- and there is so many more. so pull up a chair and let's enjoy these classic long-lost shows together. ♪

thank you. ordering chinese food is a very predictable experience. i order b14. i get b14. no surprises. buying business internet, on the other hand, can be a roller coaster white knuckle thrill ride. you're promised one speed. but do you consistently get it? you do with comcast business. it's reliable. just like kung pao fish.

thank you, ping. reliably fast internet starts at $59.95 a month. comcast business. built for business. announcer: the following is a paid advertisement for time life's video collection. ♪ announcer: it was the summer of 1969. america had just put its first man on the moon. hair was big, skirts were short, and sideburns were long. cbs had just pulled the plug on "the smothers brothers" show by replacing it with -- well, let's just say it was a real butt-kicker. >> hee haw, hee haw.

hee haw, hee haw. announcer: you asked for it, now here it is. the best of "hee haw." from time life, now on dvd. for the next 30 minutes, hold on to your teeth as host roy clarke brings you nonstop enjoyment. >> hee haw. announcer: your heart will hum to the tunes of the greatest country stars ever. from johnny cash to loretta lynne. meryl haggard to conway twitty. tammy wynette to george jones. >> ♪ every winter, summer, and spring we do our singing and joking thing ♪ [applause] >> ♪ you never could see the new styles there were like women walking around in men's pants and you couldn't see grown men in rompers instead of uncles they looked more like aunts where oh where are you tonight?

why did you leave me here all alone? i've searched the world over and thought i found true love you met another and pfft! you were gone ♪ [laughter] >> you've got a good "pfft!". roy: hey friends, this is roy clark. i am honored that the good folks at time life have asked me to share with you the greatest episodes of "hee haw." you know, from 1969 to 1997, "hee haw" was a weekly event in america's households. we did nearly 600 one hour shows from nashville, tennessee. and the clips that you will see on this show are from the original masters. they have been restored and are now available for you on dvd. [laughter] ♪

>> hey junior, you outta see the girl i am looking at. >> what is she like? >> oh, she is tall and blonde and willowy. and ain't hardly got much clothes on neither. >> boy, i sure wish i was facing that way. [laughter] >> i solved a puzzle with a riddle. >> what did you get? >> confused. [laughter] [laughter] >> how-dy! roy: minnie pearl, grandpa jones, junior samples, archie campbell, lulu roman, buck owens, and the whole "hee haw" gang.

our cast was full of so much a talent, we had so much fun. we had one big party. it shows. >> when we last saw the culhanes, they had just completed their correspondence course in tap dancing. and, they are practicing. [laughter] [tapping shoes] [laughter] >> tune in next time, when we will hear grandpa say -- >> fred astaire called and said "shut up." [laughter] >> if somebody put a match to me, i would be the hottest thing on this show. [laughter] >> grandpa, you can't be serious.

you mean to tell me you are going to marry an 18-year-old girl? do you realize that could be fatal? >> well, if she dies, she dies. [laughter] >> hee haw! hee haw! >> now it is time for buck and roy and pickin' and grinnin'. [applause] >> ♪ i'm a pickin' ♪ >> ♪ and i'm a grinnin' ♪ roy: buck owens -- one of country's greatest legendary performers -- actually recomended to the producers that i be his cohost, and for that i will forever grateful. we sure made a great team. >> i want to talk about the burglar who broke into my house. >> what for? >> i want to find out the secret to getting into my house without waking up my wife. [laughter] >> buck, is it true that your wife is money-mad? >> yup. i won't give her any money and it drives her mad. [laughter] ♪ >> can you tell me how do you teach a girl to swim? >> can i? first, you put one arm around her waist, and then you put your other arm on her shoulder and you kind of hold her close.

>> roy, it's my sister, i need to teach. >> sister? in that case, you just throw her in the pond. she'll learn on her own. [laughter] ♪ >> boy, if you want me to go to work for you, you better put me on the payroll right now, because there are several companies after me. >> what companies are they? >> there is the electric light company and the telephone company and the milk company. ♪ >> i hear that your daughter is going to marry an x-ray doctor. >> yeah, seems that he is the only one who can see anything in her. [laughter] ♪ buck: you know, roy, my fans tell me that our picking and grinning spot is a showstopper. roy: well, i don't know if we stop it, but we sure slow the show down a bit. [laughter]

>> ♪ going up country going to have a little fun going to see that girl ♪ [applause] ♪ >> ♪ we have been picking wild mountain berries that is our excuse every time we've been busy making merries and picking wild mountain berries ♪ roy: those were sure fun times. now coming up you are going to see classic performances by some of the best guest stars who performed on "hee haw." but first here is how you can bring laughter into your home any time you want it. >> how-dy!

anouncer: it was a simpler time. they made us laugh. >> old junior went up to the man at the salvation army and he said, do you save bad girls? and the man said, yes we do. junior said, save me one for saturday night. >> some folks will do anything to get a laugh. [laughter] announcer: it is the best of "hee haw." america's longest-running comedy show. available now for the very first time on one collection on dvd from time life. imagine collecting all the great "hee haw" jokes, the best sketches, and the most outrageous moments. [laughter] >> here is charlie pride. ♪ announcer: plus in this collection, you will get 100 rare performances by some of the greatest country stars. >> ♪ you picked a fine time to leave me, lucille

with four hungry children and a crop in the field ♪ [applause] announcer: these shows are now available on dvd. and they have been digitally remastered for magnificent picture and sound. >> hey clem? do you know what anatomy is? >> well, anatomy is something everyone's got, but it looks better on the women. announcer: get the entire "hee haw" collection on dvd for five easy payments of $19.99 each when you order now. >> if you want to be sure crime doesn't pay, let the government run it. announcer: but that is not all, call now and get a free bonus dvd of the very first "hee haw" program. it is not just any show, it is the actual premiere of "hee haw" as it was first shown in 1969. a real collectors item. and it is yours when you call now and order the "hee haw collection." >> that settles it. i am going.

>> where are you going? >> home to mother. >> well then wait for me. i would like to have a good meal for a change. announcer: still not enough? we will throw in another dvd, "hee haw" laughs. featuring all the great comic moments from the early years of "hee haw", and two bonus dvd's when you call now. if you call within the next 18 minutes, we will ship it for free. that is a savings of nearly $12. >> say, grandpa. it took you all morning to haul that city slicker's car into town with the mule. how much did he pay you? >> $.50. >> boy, sometimes i wish you would do the work and let the mule handle the business end of things. announcer: that is eight dvd's featuring 11 of the best "hee haw" shows, including 100 rare musical performances. and if you do not absolutely love the collection, time life will refund the full purchase price. no questions asked. there is not club to join and your satisfaction is guaranteed. >> i saw a talking parrot yesterday.

>> what happened? >> i walked up and said, can you talk stupid? and he said, yeah. can you fly, dummy? [laughter] announcer: remember, this collection is not sold in stores. get the collection plus the two bonus dvd's and free shipping. but you must act now. bring home the laughter and the memories. call now. >> ♪ you met another and [mouth sound] you was gone ♪ [laughter] [fiddlin'] ♪ >> hee haw! hee haw! hee haw! >> turn that thing off! you give that radio more attention than you do me. >> because i get less interference from the radio. >> it is about time that i gave you a piece of my mind. >> just a small helping, please. [laughter] roy: "hee haw" was sort of weekly therapy for a whole lot of folks. when it came to relationship advice, we served up plenty of it. ♪

[laughter] >> i am going to marry a doctor so i can stay well for nothing. >> i'm going to marry a grocery man so i can eat for nothing. >> i'm going to marry me a preacher man so i can be good for nothing. ♪ [laughter] >> that is indeed a triumph of mind over matter. >> yeah, i didn't mind because you didn't matter. [laughter] >> hey, johnny? what position do you play? >> i am a catcher. >> oh, i thought maybe you were a quarterback from all the passes you were making at the square dance last night. [laughter] >> should i marry a man for his money? >> well, maybe not. but sometimes that is the only way you can get it. [laughter]

>> hey, johnny. is your marriage a happy one? >> yep, we have been married several years and we have never had a fight in our house. >> that is wonderful. >> yeah, we always go out to the yard. [laughter] >> i saw a picture of you painted by archie and you had no clothes on. did you pose for that? >> i did not. he must have done it from memory. [laughter] >> some folks say that it is bad luck to postpone a marriage. >> yeah, but if you postpone it long enough it's not. >> i love a person who comes right out and says what they think. as long as they agree with me. [laughter] >> two men are in love with me. murray and george. and i do not know who will be the lucky one. >> murray will marry you and george will be the lucky one. [applause] >> i don't care what you think. behind every successful man is a woman. >> uh-huh, complaining that she ain't got a thing to wear. [laughter] roy: appearing on "hee haw" was

an absolute must for every top recording artist. the biggest stars loved doing our show. and over the years, we had hundreds of guest stars. and in this incredible dvd collection alone you are going to get over 100 great performances. >> here's conway twitty. >> ♪ hello darlin' it's nice to see you it's been a long time you're just as lovely as you used to be ♪ >> tammy wynette. >> ♪ stand by your man and show the world you love him ♪ >> merle haggard. >> ♪ i'm proud to be an okie from muskogie a place where even squares can have a ball ♪

>> vern young. >> ♪ tie me up turn me on and watch me cry for you ♪ >> loretta lynn. >> ♪ well, you leave me at home you keep me clean your squaw is on the warpath tonight ♪ >> waylon jennings. >> ♪ she's a goodhearted woman in love with a goodtiming man and she loves him in spite of his ways that she don't understand ♪ >> now here's johnny cash. >> ♪ good morning america how are you? say, don't you know me? i'm your native son ♪ roy: when did you start watching "hee haw?" were you still wet behind the ears? graduating from high school? or maybe you were married to your first wife?

well, each week, when our show hit the airwaves, tens of millions of people tuned in to see the big hair, big names, and the outrageous comedy. and the ratings were dynamite. so if you want to bring laughter into your home and if you want to relive the memories of the 1960's and 1970's, including incredible performances by the artists who made country music the sound of america, well then stick around. have we got a dvd collection just for you. i guarantee it will tickle your pickle. >> we interrupt this program to bring you an important announcement. well, fairly important. [fiddling] >> hee haw, hee haw! hee haw, hee haw! announcer: it was a simpler time. they made us laugh. >> i don't care what you say,

junior. not all married people are unhappy. >> of course not. just the men. announcer: they made us feel good. >> tell me what you think about red china. signed, your fan. >> well, dear fan, red china? i think it is fine as long as it doesn't clash with the tablecloth. announcer: it is the best of "hee haw," america's longest running comedy variety show. available now for the very first time in one great collection on dvd from the good folks at time life. imagine collecting all of the great "hee haw" jokes, the best sketches, and the most outrageous moments. >> when you serve special goulash, it only goes around once. [laughter] >> here's hank williams jr. >> ♪ way down yonder in the bayou country in dear old louisiana that is where ♪ announcer: you will get exclusive bonus features. you will get over 100 performances by country music's greatest stars.

>> ♪ funny face, i love you funny face, i need you ♪ announcer: these shows are now available on dvd. and they have been digitally remastered for magnificent picture and sound. >> hey, gordy. what do you mean, wives are just like fishermen? >> well, lisa, they are always bragging about the one that got away and complaining about the one they caught. [laughter] >> yeah. >> get the entire "hee haw" collection on dvd for just five easy payments of $19.99 each when you order now. >> they say he is 94. never looked at a girl in his life. never smoked, took a drink, or gambled. >> beats me why he wanted to live so long. [laughter] announcer: but that's not all. call now and get a free bonus dvd of the very first "hee haw" program. it is not just any show. it is the actual premiere of

"hee haw" as it was first shown in 1969. a real collector's item. it is yours when you call now and order the "hee haw" collection. >> grandpa did not believe in flying saucers until he tripped a waitress. announcer: still not enough? we will even throw in another dvd. "hee haw laughs," featuring all the greatest comic moments from the early years of hee haw. that is two bonus dvd's when you call now. and if you call within the next 10 minutes, we will ship it for free. that is a savings of nearly $12. >> hey, johnny, i hear you play the trombone. johnny: yeah, but lately i've been letting it slide. [laughter] >> that is eight dvd's featuring 11 of the best "hee haw" shows. including 100 rare musical performances. and if you don't absolutely love the collection, time life will refund the full purchase right away. no questions are asked. there is no club to join and your satisfaction is guaranteed. >> ♪ rocky top you'll always be home sweet home to me ♪ announcer: remeber this collection is not sold in any

stores. so call now and get the "hee haw" collection, plus the two bonus dvd's and free shipping. but you must act now. bring home the laughter and the memories. call now. ♪ [applause] ♪ >> hee haw, hee haw! hee haw, hee haw! senator: i say, i say, my fellow americans, i am here to answer your questions. so, fire away. >> senator, what about your brother who was trying so to get a government job? what is he doing now? senator: nothing. he got the job. [laughter] >> senator, my oldest boy wants a job in your office. senator: what can he do? >> nothing. senator: fine, i won't have to break him in. [laughter] roy: contagious! that is what it was. contagious! great comedy, great music, great fun, and great tv. >> ♪ i wish i was in arkansas

sleeping on the rails sweet potato in my hand a possum by the tail ♪ >> gordie was relieved to hear what the doctor said. >> about something his wife had had since before they were wed. >> on her neck was this ugly growth. the doctor said he could not take it off. >> he said not to worry none, though. it was just her head. [laughter] >> ♪ this love is agony deep dark depression excessive misery if it weren't for bad luck i'd have no luck at all gloom, despair and agony on me ♪ [laughter] >> yes sir. i guarantee you that if you take one of my smart pills, you will be smarter.

they are a dollar apiece. >> that is a lot of money for a pill. i hope they are worth it. >> they are worth it. i guarantee them. >> i don't feel smarter. >> maybe you need another one. they are just a dollar apiece. try one more. >> ok. wait a minute, doc. these pills are just little green peas. [laughter] >> see there, you are getting smarter already. [laughter] >> you don't have to hang from a tree to be a nut. [human sound effects] roy: it has been over 35 years since "hee haw" premiered on tv. many of our original cast members have left cornfield county and gone home to the great stage in the sky.

but now, through the magic of time life, "hee haw" lives on in this one-of-a-kind collectors dvd. these are the original masters. the favorite episodes. packed with memories that will make you feel good just to watch tv again. >> ♪ and i hope life will treat you kind and i hope you will have all that you ever dreamed of and i will always love you i will always love you i will always love you ♪ [applause]

roy: well, that dolly looks even better today than she did some 30 years ago. and the jokes, sketches, and musical performances are just as great today as they were when we first recorded them. i personally want you to have this "hee haw" collection. but time is running out. so call now. >> here is one for all you shut-ins down at the state prison. announcer: it was a simpler time. >> half past. announcer: they made us laugh. [laughter] announcer: they made us feel good. >> why is a fence like a miniskirt? >> i don't know. why? >> they both protect the property, but they don't spoil the view. [laughter]

announcer: it is the very best of "hee haw." america's longest-running comedy variety show available now for the first time in one great collection on dvd. imagine colecting all of the best sketches and most outrageous moments. [laughter] >> here is george jones. >> ♪ white lighting announcer: plus in this collection, you will get over 100 rare performances by country music's greatest stars. >> ♪ i take it on home to the woman who sticks by me ♪ announcer: the shows are now available on dvd. and they have been digitally remastered for magnificent picture and sound. >> do you know what a bonehead is? a bonehead is someone who is "marrow" minded.

get it? announcer: get the entire "hee haw" collection on dvd for just five easy payments of $19.99 each when you order now. >> my boyfriend and i once agreed that it will be helpful if we told each other all our faults. >> how did it work? >> we haven't spoken to each other in three weeks. [laughter] announcer: but that is not all. call now and get a free bonus dvd of the very first "hee haw" program. it is not just any show, it is the actual premiere of "hee haw" as it was first shown in 1969. a real collector's item. and it is yours when you call now and order "the hee haw collection." >> hey, johnny, did you hear the story about the broken pencil? johnny: yeah, there's no point to it. anouncer: still not enough? we will throw in another dvd. "hee haw laughs." it features all of the greatest comic moments from the early years of "hee haw." that's two bonus dvd's when you

call now. if you call within the next two minutes, we will ship it for free. that is a savings of nearly $12. >> what do you call a man who don't believe in birth control? >> a daddy. [laughter] announcer: that is eight dvd's featuring 11 of the best "hee haw" shows. including 100 rare musical performances. and if you don't absolutely love the collection, time life will refund the full purchase price. no questions asked. there is no club to join and your satisfaction is guaranteed. >> ♪ well, i am a long, tall texan i wear a 10 gallon hat ♪ >> ♪ he come from texas with a 10 gallon hat ♪ >> ♪ people look at me and say, is that your hat? ♪ roy: take it from me -- roy clark. this is a one-of-a-kind collection that you will enjoy for years to come. but you had better call now. time is running out to take advantage of this special tv offer. call now and save. >> ♪ you met another and

[mouth sound] you was gone ♪ [laughter] >> ♪ we love the time we spend with you we share a song and a laugh or two may your pleasures be many your troubles be few ♪ >> so long everybody. >> we will see you next week on -- >> "hee haw." [applause] announcer: now is the time to call to order your "hee haw" collection from the good folks at time life. and don't forget to order a second one for a friend. it will put a smile on their face too. but time is running out to take advantage of this special tv offer. so call now. >> that's all. >> the preceding was a paid advertisement for the time life's video collection. ♪

>> the following is a paid advertisement for time life's music collection. these are songs that can relax you. songs that make you feel good. >> you are just too good to be