>> from our studios in new york city, this is charlie rose. charlie: anderson cooper and gloria vanderbilt are here. that exploresmoir the relationship and the love and loss they have experienced. the collaboration is called frank and tender. there is a documentary on the same subject. here is a trailer from "nothing left unsaid." >> i remember a look behind her

eyes that was far away. that thery sad, to me, thing she wanted were so simple. no reality there was for me, the vanderbilt side. my mom has lived many lives and in habit it different skins. she has a public face and the reality of her life is so different. >> it is fascinating. all of our secrets. three weeks later. review -- how old were you? >> 20. >> did your friends think it was weird? >> people were fascinated with the family that had everything. i never felt like i belonged.

i felt like i was an imposter. when he died, i went to bed for three weeks and cried. since.not cried there is not a tear left. i am pleased to have anderson cooper and gloria vanderbilt here. welcome. >> i did not want people to know that she was my mom. >> i always wanted people to know you are my son. in the i started business, vanderbilt has it a lot of baggage and it comes with assumptions about what her life must be like, which is wrong and different from what it is. when i first started out, i was glad to have the last name of cooper. or, how you pronounce it.

now, i feel like i am established and my mom called me up and said, the most amazing thing happened. somebody referred to me as "anderson cooper's mother." charlie: the title. where does that come from? >> a poem by wordsworth. anderson'sated by interpretation. my interpretation of the rainbow coming and going is that it comes back. >> my mom is an eternal optimist. she believes her next great love is around the corner. the rainbow may go. i believe that the rainbow may come back. how do you know you are going to be there when it does?

i prepare for the darkness that may last. i am like game of thrones. i always believe that winter is coming. it is bleak and i want to prepare for the long haul. charlie: whose idea was it? >> on her birthday, she said e-mail and it was funny and sharp. it was interesting and they got me thinking about when my dad died and i would have a fantasy that there was a letter that might show up when i was 18 or 21 that would tell me everything about him that i did not know life.out his true that fantasy when she was young. i did not what a thing to be unsaid between us. we started this conversation over e-mail. it was easier and i travel so

much. i wanted to change the conversation between us and get to know each other as adults in a new way. it really has changed our relationship and my understanding of myself. it is something that i hope the book encourages others to do. nature: what were the of the e-mails? >> it started off with something aunt saying, you are 17 whole years old. i wrote to anderson and said, i am 91 whole years old. how it started. charlie: anything that occurred to you, you would e-mail. >> when i was a kid, we used to watch robin hood with daryl for flyn. errol

n. i would ask, did you know him? her voice would trail off. i would ask questions. what happened to your mom? how is your relationship? it was putting messages in a bottle and sending it off and a bottle would return within minutes, hours, days later. charlie: i have often said, what kiddo, what i do, every ought to interview their parents and talk about their lives, understand what they have done. i have often talked to my father. not nearly as much as i wanted to. he saw the worst of the war, the battle of the bulge. > my mom never really had a

conversation with her mother. charlie: did you try? >> it was not appropriate. same thing with gertrude. i knew little about my mother. >> we all people had her's of the past and the things parents have done and things that we say we end up repeating. seeing what she has done, it has been a revelation to me. we have this fantasy of the letter from our fathers. that was something i didn't realize. charlie: was there a letter? >> no letter. >> i did receive a letter from a father. >> she said the same thing to me. charlie: when you asked about

flynn, howard hughes? aboutaid the best things howard hughes. charlie: you had a lot of lovers. >> i did. i had been living with gertrude and she sent me out for two wee who, whenchaperone she arrived, they said there was no room her. e. later, she went home. >> two weeks turned into -- >> she let me do whatever i wanted. charlie: what to june want? -- did you want? >> i want to be grown up and go

out with movie stars. charlie: howard hughes. did you think about marrying him? >> i would have. i went to new york and he had y, who was working for him in some way, so that we could see each other. she had a hold on me in a strange way. >> she ended up dating a gofer, who may have murdered his former wife. >> he was associated with lucky luciano. charlie: you married him because you loved him? i well, my mother sort of -- she announced the

engagement. it happened quickly. confused. charlie: and is hard for me to understand these choices. you read the book, it is interesting to see that she was 17-year-old, never world,posed to the playing blind man's bluff in a forest. every road she goes down, she is a different person. charlie: how old were you there? >> i was 15. charlie: what was the hardest thing to write about, to talk about? was a death? -- it death?>

>> we both experienced losses through our lives. loss, with both speak the language of it. we are comfortable with it. i have a harder time talking about it than my mom. carter died, people came and all i wanted to do was talk about it and go over it again and again. group of friends from school came and i was in bed. you were there and suddenly left. "why did you go?" i realized that you are hearing this over and over and did not talk about it at all. grief and tragedy

more introspective and work it out in my head. there is something about doing this through e-mail that made it easy to put aside the old embarrassments and awkwardness. whatever the emotions were. >> there is a thing about the youil where it is quick and press that and it is gone. you cannot get it back. it is sort of freeing. you know you cannot get it back. >> we hope that this encourages people to start sitting down with an aging parent, child, starting a new conversation with someone in your life. being able to talk without getting sidetracked with things that are painful. charlie: you have been through much and you have this enduring optimism.

>> i think it is within my nature. i really do. i just -- not.st can't pt ande: you don't acce alternative other than optimism? >> i think it will turn out all right and the way it is meant to be. charlie: have you looked at your life and it turned out ok? >> oh, yes. charlie: she is tough? >> she is not tough. she is a survivor. the term applies to brass toughness. what is amazing about what you have done is that you decided to survive and make it through things and remain vulnerable.

also the most one will person i know. -- the most formidable person i know. >> custody happened when i was 10. --she was given about theo idea vanderbilt family and the publicity was cap to me. -- was kept from me. talking about 19:33 am i missouri had a lesbian relationship. 33 andare talking about 19 my mother had a lesbian relationship. i really had no idea what that meant. it was something that i thought, maybe i inherited it and i am a

lesbian. that would be something terrible. i put a shield around myself and i rarely read anything about myself. if i see my name in a newspaper, i turned quickly. if it is a nice photograph, i look at it. [laughter]

cooper.> i feel like a that feels like a family to me. i started to read about the vanderbilts. on, my mom said that there is not a vanderbilts trust and that i would be on my own after college. i thought that was the way it should be. i started earning my own money and i wanted to take care of myself. so, i never really felt connected and my mom did not feel connected. >> i never felt connected. w my name was "vanderbilt." my mother never spoke about my father or the vanderbilt family. >> she felt like the imposter. >> i felt like the imposter,

because i was treated like one. i was not welcomed. i never felt like i belonged. >> it is a reason why one of the book and the film. the reality of my mom's life is more interesting than the name implies. people think that she is a lady who goes to lunch. she is painting every day. she has written numerous books. i'm happy that people are seeing her as she is. charlie: what do you wish? is there anything you don't see clearly? >> i want you to have a family. bringing thisor up, as if it is not ongoing. >> i want to be alive when you do. to -- i just, you

know -- >> she had a conversation with a doctor and she was talking about fertility clinics. i said, mom, i know about this. it is not lack of information. i got it. i am working three jobs. charlie: you must want to. >> i am 48. >> you would make a wonderful father. >> i really do love kids. i don't know. i love what i do. i would have to change it radically. i would want to be the kind of father my father was. children, i just spoke to richard engel, he doesn't take the same assignments because he has children. he has to think about someone

else other than himself. sortso not take the same of risks. i would not go to some of the places i go. charlie: do you think he is looking for a reason to not do this? >> you used to be more encouraging about it. >> i used to be convinced. charlie: convinced about? >> having kids. theink we are like in that drive that we both have makes it difficult to have a family and to have -- i don't know -- i just think -- i don't know. i would want to make a big change. i don't know. we will see. i don't know. charlie: he wants you to have another affair. >> i absolutely believe that the phone can ring and your life can

change. this is a fact. it is not a fantasy. a man on ais there boat off of the coast of france who whisk you away? she says, a boat? a yacht! i want to build a boat for my own and take care of myself. i do not want to wait around. charlie: he likes nice things. >> great taste. it is what a person lies. you could say it looks great. >> my mom was always encouraging about expenditures. somethingsay, it is we would have forever.

it was her way of encouraging something. did you counsel with to what you would make publinc? c? >> i came out to friends in high school. i did not tell her i would make a public announcement and i had to call, going to africa, and i spent three days in a remote camp. i wanted to be away when the story came out and i wrote this letter to a website and tried to call my mom the day before to have the conversation and give a heads up that i had read the letter. it turns out that the camp i went to was so remote that there was no phone, internet, or any type of service.

so, i would have had to have this to another area and i did not have time to tell her. , i called her up and she is like, you should have mentioned this is going to be -- i said, oh, yeah, i should have told you. >> it is joyful. charlie: that seems to be the nature of the relationship. joy. i had had aove and huge problem with my mother being a lesbian and i was thinking that i would be and it was considered something evil and terrible. to it took me a long time have my intelligence work it out and i came to the conclusion that love between a woman and a

is nois love and there difference at all and it is exactly the same. when i figured that out and, , i amon finds some thrilled. i approve. mom approves. the book is called, "the rainbow comes and goes." on cnn on april 29. >> thank you.

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>> good evening. i am sitting in for charlie. mettler," she begins interfering in every aspect of lori's life. exploresmore effort the complex relationship between the mother and daughter and vanity fair calls it subtle and meticulously observed. here is a trailer.

>> are you not bringing it? >> you have to ring the doorbell. >> there are a lot of hours in the day. >> you should have called. >> you let that die? >> you could be the hobby. >> i have to go to new york for a few weeks. you.could go with >> what you doing here? we needed a babysitter. >> what you have to do is go upside down. that is what we did. you, remind me to tell about your therapist.

>> i would kill my daughter if she died on the motorcycle. >> this is a harley davidson. lawyer and dobe a not marry. >> what if i gave you the money? >> she is not getting married. >> a beautiful girl lives over in palm springs. >> who are you sending a selfie to? >> who are you texting? >> you cannot be here for it. i do not need a ride to the airport. sarandong me is susan

and the director. least a have you all at the table. welcome. -- i am pleased to have you all at the table. welcome. this is based a little bit on your mother. >> very much. is this something you came to in the middle of ideas? >> i started writing this after my mother moved my father passed and she got an iphone and started calling. later, icemails started writing the ultimate -- the opening. it got more personal as i went and it is based on my mom. character is based on my mother and the setup is mostly true. we deviated. >> there is a little bit of an outlet? >> it was very therapeutic and

we had a lot of great conversations about what we were because we were trying to maintain the close relationship while being a little closer than usual. >> did you think there was a character where you might make the story about her? want it to be this tonal and i wanted what your mom is doing when you do not call her back and explore this character deeper to change what it means. a lot of meddling comes from loneliness and caring.

you have a lot of love to give and you do not know what to do. me to do thisge to get the film made. i only want to tell that story. >> you wrote to susan to play the part. and had always pictured her i was picturing susan and she has this quality to her. she is warmnny and and maternal and a humanitarian, one of the most giving and generous people and i thought that this is what my mother dreams of being, the person saving lives and dust were walkings you into a situation that was

personal. >> are really left and i was moved. when i met her with her passion and story, i really liked her and i got the opening of the film and that cinched it. i saw that and said that we had to find a way to get this done. when you are working for no money and very fast, you have to surround yourself with players would play it and we had rose and j.k. simmons and those were huge. comedians ander those who were fun to hang out .ith

>> michael mckee and was great. there isn't a weak link in the thing. >> you met the mom. did you think you would do an impression, because she has the accent? it was written that way and i think it is important. she goes from new jersey to los and is, she is in black thes.er mom's clos she is isolated in the way she looks and her accent is important for that. you do not want it to get too big. phone and it was something we did not really get withe could go back to fix

a great group of people. we onlyoving fast and had 23 days. >> a busy schedule. >> you walked onto the set and you have the mother-daughter wasation twice over and your mother there? >> we did not double date the four of us. dinner.d a nice >> was it strange to have that sense of a relationship to deal with? ofthere is a sense responsibility. there is the context of this and

she is emotionally unstable and volatile. information ash i have like it. it was specific and intimate. was an honor and i am a fan of her work. >> i really am. she is a soulful actress and it was pretty cool. >> i want to show another clip of a scene where you are out for a romantic valentine's day dinner. >> together. ddles is that she met

that she takes initiative with your ex-boyfriend. >> it is good timing for may. >> jacob. >> exactly. >> hey. >> hey. >> good to see you. you know the lease? we do not want to interrupt your time. >> it is fine. we are doing a drive-by. >> i am not alone. >> together. cute.is were you taking notes with

your mom living this life alongside you? >> we spent valentine's day together and, on our double date, i kicked the table once or twice. intimidating and nerve-racking to play a person you have met who you know will be watching the film later on? >> the comedy, it was not as painful as i have played. i did one where a daughter have been murdered and there was a create -- a complete recreation of the house and we were at a monitor in a difficult scene and that was much and i played sister helen and i was really

nervous of that, because of the implications of the political. job isother hand, your to make this a specific as possible and you have things to easierom that makes it , the thingin this that would have been terrible would have been winking at the audience. and i try tohese not comment on it. that you don't want to make fun of the people. from the outside, i thought, she

is crazy. >> so annoying. >> everybody seems to forgive she, ultimately, you do and it wastimes well-intentioned. striking is at is film about women with so few ands carried in this way the outside is important. depth.s on a different there is a sense, because we do not have films with women at the center. this andn see a lot of there was a book i saw a

recently written in the voice of a woman and the movie is in the voice of the mail and it makes a huge difference. how it works is different. >> i was struck when i was watching this film. she isyou on screen and in the center of the screen. >> i am not dying. i do not have alzheimer's. >> so, you tell a personal story. was part of it that you want to bring female characters on screen? that.id not set out to do it just happened. women to be part of

it and it is just sort of happening. i love it. like we failed the be chdel test. a lot of guys laughed and said it reminded them of their mom. i do not think that we made a chick flick moments, you do not see them coming. we sentimentalized times and this was one of the first times where i read a script where i did know. i'm terrible to watch a movie with.

i call every development that is going to happen to a point where it is annoying. i did not feel that way with this. >> did you get notes that we hear about all the time from studio executives who say to put a guy into it or make the character younger? those are the horror stories we hear. >> we hear that. her 20's to put her in and that did not make any sense to me. they wanted the male character in earlier so that there would be a traditional romantic comedy. they want to make the daughter bigger and from her point of view. i just refused. it all seemed to go against the entire idea of the film. it is about characters at certain stages in their lives

arnie was in her 50's, it would not have been the same. i really thought it had to be this. be aught it had to daughter on the wrong side of 35 and a woman who could have hung it up and felt like that was it. here she is, making a go of it and finding a way to move on. female producers involved. >> i do not want a burst of bubble. films, i have worked with women and not all men are communicative.

i worked on a film with a love young women and the director ended up really being mean and the girls hated her. women, ifu notice you're going to generalize, as producers, without power coming in, you do not have to blame when something goes wrong. by notice women producers. the more women you have on a set, definitely, the vibe changes. to say that all women directors are one thing is as silly as saying that all men directors are the same. i hope there will be more.

the goal is to make sure that ac-- are as big an certainly, to tell a story, from a woman's point of view, i suppose there have been gay writers who have done this. tennessee williams and other directors or other -- were able to do this. the moments that they seem to miss are the moments that no one see where and, to something lance, lots of times, people want to edit to what they at of it.the mee

the moment toters the andeaction, we did we see things developing and that is really special. >> do you like to do a lot of takes and have rehearsals? >> we do not have the time or the money to do a lot of that and i do not think i would be that kind of person, even with all the time in the world. allowld like time to these great actors to allow more and we did not needed. and,d to do it this way with these people, the felt like , three takes and you got it.

>> i like working fast. when you have too much time, you to getcus and it is nice the crew focused and they will days all the way and we to saturday cannot do that for months with people getting cranky. it was a close group of people who wanted to be there. certainly, not for the money. it was for everything else and it was celebratory. focus, it isle to almost like stunt work. >> you are all in it together.

>> i am used to the set up. >> for those who bounce from the indy films, there is a sense this.re fun and you have >> it is the intensity and we have to focus. people are there, not necessarily because they are getting a good day check. it is still the same at the end of the day and you might try to remember that in the situations. >> to have someone you are working with that can be emotionally accessible is

unusual. the only other person i have met was melissa mccarthy and she was able to tap into this take after take. >> iq calling this the -- i keep ames of this the xg acting. you did not have a lifetime to go off and come up with it. i was following the lead most of the time and it was fun to just watch and respond. she had to be the one driving. >> to this change the relationship with your mom? eddle, itmom does m

is rare. it is great and wonderful and there is always someone who is to involved. tend to get myself in situations where i just do what i am told. experience ofe watching this with your mom? et.i e was not allowed on

it has been surreal. beenays, dad would have happy to love susan sarandon. it is more personal now than before and that is the weirdest part, for me. personal, on paper. we went to work than we were all just trying to make a film. >> now, this is scrutinized for the world. >> i am like, flame of my mother. it is bizarre and we have screened it and my mother and i experience that differently, as we have experienced almost everything differently. aing.iends were wi

>> did you consider doing this as a television series? >> i was told to. they said that the female characters are allowed to flourish on television. i try to imagine this. i did not want to live with this for that long and i feel like it has been years. i was excited to give the character of cinematic life and it made me feel like, she may not have been a giant in the world, but there should be a beginning, middle, and end for this character who does not change much and has an experience. it is sort of the reason for the story and it allows for a very undergo greatr to adventure and fun and a love

interest that does not exist in life yet. >> it straddles the boundaries of comedy and drama and people say it is disappearing, as we go .nto the action movie universe what can we do to convince people that we want to see more? >> money talks. argue withis hard to superhero movies that people come out for. favor movies and i feel like there were so many films that i could reference that are over 20 years old. , yous the movies that

know, more than $2 million and under $100 million. i hope that people spread the that allmaybe not say movies starring women are genre films. i think that it is about opening up to people and being inclusive. >> they could. >> i would love to see what happens in other countries. i never saw this as being a with a subdued culture. about making it

to italy to see how they react there. >> a universal. >> you will find that is a game. going see it. and, call your mom.

john: i am john heilemann. i am mark halperin. with all due respect to new yorkers, hey, i'm voting here! ♪ mark: election day in the great state of new york. ,he campaign in other states donald trump and hillary clinton were in no hurry to leave the hometown love behind. surrounded by tv cameras, both made the ritual stop this morning to cast ballots, for themselves presumably. this