>> the following is a paid program. the opinions and views expressed do not reflect those of bloomberg lp, its affiliates, or its employees. >> the following is a paid >> the following is a paid advertisement for time-life. >> who are you and what all these people doing in my living room? america's clown prince, his heart was pure gold? alice. george, i'm

[laughter] talk to each other. >> and he was as american as red, white and blue. >> you have brought back a symbol, a touch of old american a, the lovable tramp. >> you do anything to steal a scene, wouldn't you? thentroducing, the best of red skelton our in color. >> well, don't get too close. >> 's classic comedy hour has to be seen in its original color and now, in over -- for the

first time in over 45 years, time life brings it all to you. never released episodes on 10 dvds. you wont find a better way to entertain your whole family, anytime you like. [laughter] >> it's the first time i've seen this too, right? >> hours of hilarious, heartwarming humor. and you'll only find it on the red skelton our. >> i do not know where have been or what i have done but i would not have missed it for the world. [laughter] >> read only wanted one thing, to make you laugh. >> i'm going to make it. >> and millie, at millie, you

came to the graduation. pardon me, at millie, at millie, at millie. sorry, sir, i thought you were at millie. [laughter] >> just silly. >> i don't know how about eyes but i know how to make eyes water. it some onions, that make your eyes water. sendshoot era please >> get your hands off of me, i am a star. >> it is pure brilliance. [laughter] children of all ages can enjoy read together and travel back to a gentler, simpler time. >> we went to see one of those

girl shows and boy, do those girls show. you look at them girls you'll go stone blind. i'm going to risk when i. oh, that is what that is. >> you don't understand. this ghost milking a white cow in a blizzard. >> jimmy crack corn and i don't care. who put rubber springs on this thing? [laughter] >> bread brought stars together to entertain you. wayne, vincent price, milton burrell. >> i want to tell you seven, you're just fabulous. you said some of the funniest jokes i will ever use. [laughter] phyllis diller, mickey rooney,

tim conway. >> there you are. [laughter] >> bring your own tex ito,? -- tex ito, ha? [laughter] [applause] >> but the heart and soul of the show was red, working his own special brand of magic. i'm working on this invention , it works, it works. >> hello? >> i will show you some dance steps. here, here is the billy graham. the billy graham. >> you are dancing on your heels. >> that is to save souls. [laughter] >> don't get me laughing. you will never get out of here. >> now there are different types of sneezes. i would like to show you some of those. no first you -- [laughter] >> first, you have the society sneeze. [laughter]

>> then you have the nose holder, these guys. [laughter] >> then you have the truck driver's delight. wait, i better -- truck driver's delight. here. [laughter] >> this routine gets a little sloppy. [laughter] [laughter] >> come on, i want to hear one bird song. >> all right, one bird call. >> wait, wait, wait. what bird is that? >> that is not a bird. i just happened to see my reflection of me in the lens and i just love me. [laughter] announcer: so sit back with the ones you love and relax, knowing you're about to be entertained by the one man who always knew how to make you smile. >> a chariot. >> cornflakes -- [laughter]

announcer: back in television's golden age, not everyone could see gold or red on their tv screens. >> you ever had your eyes checked? >> no, i have always had them brown, like they are. [laughter] announcer: because not every home had a color television. >> if you had your color sets at home, you would see that that it is red. so you better go out and get color sets. we are going to throw this clever stuff at you all summer. [laughter] announcer: today, time life is offering that very special experience to everyone by rescuing these classic color shows from the vault. >> i really think you are one of us. >> yes, you know, he would probably be a marvelous monster. >> yes. ♪ >> ♪ the three of us a talent scout should hear about the three of us no movie screen has ever seen a ghastlier sight than we are tonight on the show ♪ [laughter] >> you know, red, i was looking -- >> red? george. >> george.

yes. [applause] [laughter] announcer: introducing the "red skelton hour" in color. >> this i got to see. [laughter] announcer: the sultan of silliness in his funniest shows with the biggest guest stars in one never before released collection. >> lovely, darling, beautiful. [laughter] announcer: you may think you've have seen the "red skelton hour," but you have never seen it like this. >> oh, this will be fun. >> yes, indeed it will. announcer: red was a brilliant performer, a passionate patriot, and a master of the simple, hilarious, classic comedy you just don't see anymore. >> don't be selfish. why don't you bless everybody? [laughter] announcer: with red, every day was a circus, and he was the clown prince. [laughter] >> ooh. that is refreshing. announcer: he could entertain you without even saying a word. [laughter] announcer: now you can let red

and his friends entertain you any time you like. >> what is holding you up there? >> there are two iron bars. [laughter] announcer: time life went back to the vault to find 31 incredible, full-color shows, and now they can all be yours on 10 dvd's. >> how much does that thing pay? announcer: for just five payments of $19.99. >> oh, fancy. fancy that. [laughter] announcer: the legendary comedian. >> he loves me, too. >> yes. >> i told him, i said, listen, this is going to be my second time. i want it to go over great. i said, how far should i stand from the camera so i look good? he said, have you got a car? [laughter] announcer: the incredible music. >> ♪ try to remember the kind of september when life was slow and, oh, so mellow ♪ announcer: and classic characters.

[laughter] >> you want to know why i am sorry i married your mother? >> you got me. >> that's why i am sorry. [laughter] announcer: plus, exclusive extras, including a full-length biography of red, featuring rare home movies and intimate interviews. >> i was a little nervous, but he was so enchanting and so charming that i just fell right in with him. announcer: and if you order in the next 18 minutes, you will also receive a free bonus dvd packed with red's farewell specials, like his command performance for real royalty. >> we are flying 35,000 feet, here, and they start serving drinks right down the aisle. and i said to the priest next to me, i said, are you going to have a drink, father? he said, oh no, too close to the main office. [laughter] announcer: but, wait, there's more. >> you say you want more for your money? announcer: we will also include a beautiful memory book, giving you a closer look at how red's beloved characters came to life. >> now the last time we had our picture together it brought me 20 years bad luck. >> what picture was that? >> our wedding picture. [laughter] announcer: we are so sure that red will make your family smile

that we will ship it to you absolutely free. >> how sweet it is. [laughter] announcer: you will only find this definitive collection here with this exclusive offer, plus your satisfaction is guaranteed. >> i have just got to tell you, that is one of the funniest skits i have ever seen. announcer: if you do not fall in love with red all over again, we will refund your purchase price, no questions asked. >> i get a lot of bargains. i get a lot of bargains. announcer: this is your chance to own the "red skelton hour," 11 dvd's overflowing with 31 hilarious shows in brilliant color, including exclusive extras, the bonus dvd of farewell specials, and the memory book, for just five easy payments of $19.99. >> one detail i forgot to mention.

announcer: and we will ship it for free, satisfaction guaranteed. >> how about that? what i've always wanted. announcer: to experience true red, white, and blue entertainment, you need to see red. so don't miss your chance, order now. >> i did not want to keep this from you, but billy -- allie -- [laughter] >> all right, if the undertone tittering don't stop, i will clear the hall. [laughter] >> i don't know if you know this or not, but i am trying to impress maurice evans. [laughter] >> ah, now i found out who the ringleader is. [laughter] announcer: red was quick on his feet. >> what are you doing? >> i don't know why i'm using this. we haven't even discovered tobacco yet. [laughter] announcer: and he could find the humor in any moment. planned. >> this is real beer. [laughter] announcer: or unplanned. [laughter] >> has something been added since rehearsal? [laughter] >> the padding is over here. [laughter] announcer: when red reigned, shows were recorded live, and

you never knew what would happen. [laughter] >> i'll look into -- i'll look into -- >> you're a card. [laughter] [bell] [bell] >> i don't like to say this, boys, but the string broke. [bell] [laughter] >> good heavens, look what i have done. >> well no wonder the these producers make such a lousy pictures. they're all worn out from the casting. [laughter] >> well sir, did i speak that line slow enough for you, buddy? [laughter] >> if i had my nooding needle -- my kneading noodle -- i had my nose fixed, now my mouth don't work. i don't know. [laughter] >> if i had my -- talk to each other a minute. [laughter]

>> if i had my knitting needles -- don't give me that line again. [laughter] announcer: no one made more hay or got more laughs from an unexpected moment than red. [laughter] >> for two days in rehearsal, you wouldn't eat. [laughter] >> and just because you didn't eat, i said take it. it will put a lot of pizzazz and you gotta go out -- [laughter] >> you ain't got a medal to pin on me, we are engaged. [laughter] [laughter] >> oh, that was clever. [laughter] >> listen, please, father, you have got to help me. look at me, i'm on my knees. >> you would never know it. [laughter] >> let me guess. >> oh, oh, oh, oh. he put up a blank card there. [laughter]

>> the cue card boy just held up a blank card. i thought i lost my sense of humor. [laughter] >> you shall play at your music house tonight. >> play at your music house? >> yes. >> ooh, i'll be famous and rich. >> yes. >> i will be able to buy my own candle. [laughter] >> if we knew you were going to do this, we could have sent the card boy home. you haven't read one thing written there yet. [laughter] >> ohhh. the rock hit my foot. [laughter] >> [indiscernible] >> that is mine, too. [laughter] >> i think we are going to run into a little trouble up here. my flash thing is fogging up, and i can't see the cue card. [laughter] >> could you bring it a little closer so i can read the card. the -- [laughter] [applause] >> thank you, red.

[applause] >> thank you, red. i don't need a card to tell you how much i love you and how nice it has been to be on this program. >> thank you, john. >> thank you, folks. [applause] [laughter] >> well, i am getting out of this thing. >> you are? >> and i mean the whole show. [laughter] >> stand up, this is fun. >> yeah, i can imagine. >> a lot of laughs. >> i have got to go back to the dressing room. i forgot something. >> what did you forget? >> i forgot to stay there. >> look, we can do it this way. >> no, no, no. [laughter] announcer: introducing the "red skelton hour," in color. >> i hope you folks enjoyed this as much as i did. [laughter] announcer: the sultan of silliness in his funniest shows with the biggest guest stars in one never before released collection.

>> something to adore. announcer: you may think you have seen the "red skelton hour," but you have never seen it like this. >> let me hear it. i can take it. announcer: red was a brilliant performer, a passionate patriot, and a master of the simple, hilarious, classic comedy you just don't see anymore. >> i think you are great. >> i think you are -- >> i hear you are going to be on cbs this fall. >> yes. >> i have a friend of mine. i will get to come onto your new show. his name is skelton. [laughter] announcer: with red, every day was a circus, and he was the clown prince. [laughter] >> good heavens. call a doctor. i think i have got the mumps. [laughter] announcer: he could entertain you without even saying a word. [laughter] announcer: now you can let red and his friends entertain you anytime you like. >> he moves without a jerk. care to join me? [laughter] announcer: time life went back to the vault to find 31 incredible, full color shows, and now they can all be yours on

10 dvd's. >> let me see that. announcer: for just five payments of $19.99. >> what a jolly good idea. [laughter] announcer: the legendary comedian. ♪ >> holy smokes, this may be my underwear. [laughter] announcer: the incredible music. >> ♪ you're just too good to be true can't take my eyes off of you ♪ announcer: and classic characters. >> before i give up drinking, i give up drinking. >> that ain't the wine, but it's going to have to do. [laughter] announcer: plus, exclusive extras, including a full-length biography of red featuring rare home movies and intimate interviews. >> he embarrassed me. he said, the reason i am here is because of my pal mickey rooney. announcer: and if you order in the next 11 minutes, you will also receive a free bonus dvd packed with red's farewell specials, like his command

performance for real royalty. >> get a nice, smooth drink. [laughter] >> pull on your glass. [laughter] >> pull on your glass. [laughter] >> pull on your glass. [laughter] announcer: but wait, there is more. >> here it comes, folks. [laughter] announcer: we will include a beautiful memory book, giving you a closer look at how red's most beloved characters came to life. >> that bring back any memories to you? announcer: we are so sure that red will make your whole family smile that we will ship it to you absolutely free. >> it is amazing what you can get away with these days. [laughter] announcer: you will only find this definitive collection here with this exclusive offer. >> thank you very much. announcer: plus, your satisfaction is guaranteed. >> wow. announcer: if you don't fall in love with red all over again, we will refund your purchase price, no questions asked. >> i will make things for you.

[gunshot] [laughter] >> how about that? how about that? announcer: this is your chance to own the "red skelton hour." >> now start all over, we will take it from the top. announcer: 11 dvd's overflowing with 31 hilarious shows in brilliant color, including exclusive extras, the bonus dvd of farewell specials, and the memory book, for just five easy payments of $19.99. >> what else you got? >> i tell you what i'm going to do. announcer: and we'll ship it for free, satisfaction guaranteed. >> and don't you forget it. [laughter] announcer: to experience true red, white, and blue entertainment, you need to see red, so don't miss your chance. order now. >> that's what i like, a guy that can laugh at himself. [laughter] >> you have been doing that for years. [laughter] [applause] announcer: from vaudeville, to radio, to television, red skelton was a staple of american entertainment.

>> give me one for my baby, will you? now here is to you. >> that i could never understand. they always say, here is to you and drink it themselves. [banging] >> you cut that, didn't you? [laughter] ♪ announcer: he was a self-made man who loved his fans, and his fans loved him. >> for 20 years of television, i know better than to stand on a stage with america's greatest comedian and try to trade jokes with him. >> i have been referred to by many as a clown, and i guess this is the first time in my life that one of my dreams have come true, and that was to work with the clown mastery of the master. i know that he is embarrassed, but that is what he is, so i leave the stage for him. [applause] announcer: red also loved his country.

>> ♪ little boy little boy why am i blue? with your dear love about me, and my arms about you ♪ announcer: and helped us bring us together with pride. >> one of the nicest things that has ever happened in my life is to be able to count on this wonderful man as one of my closest and dearest friends. thanks a lot, duke. announcer: and dignity. >> freddie the freeloader is a little bit of you, a little bit of me, a little bit of all of us, you know. he doesn't ask anybody to provide for him because it would be taking away from you. announcer: he united us in purpose. >> when a clown belongs to everybody, he has to share his fun with everyone, you see. [laughter] announcer: and in laughter. >> the teacher held up a picture. she said what is this? it is a picture of a deer. what is this?

i don't know. what does your mother call your father? he said, that is a louse? [laughter] announcer: every king needs his court jester. >> hold the wine. >> why is a banana never lonesome? >> because it hangs around the bunch. [laughter] announcer: our heroes turn to red to make them laugh and remind them what it meant to be a true american. >> i pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. announcer: red's powerful performance touched so many american hearts, it was read into the congressional record to be preserved forever. >> i, me, an individual, a committee of one, pledge, dedicate all of my worldly goods to give without self-pity,

allegiance, my love, and my devotion to the flag, our standard, old glory, a symbol of freedom. >> 5, 6, 7, 8. >> hold it, buddy. get your own show if you want to do that. [laughter] announcer: introducing the "red skelton hour," in color. >> oh goodness gracious. [laughter] announcer: the sultan of silliness in his funniest shows with the biggest guest stars in one never before released collection. >> i want your autograph. [laughter] announcer: you may think you have seen the "red skelton hour," but you have never seen it like this. >> look, ain't that a dandy. announcer: red was a brilliant performer, a passionate patriot, and a master of the simple, hilarious classic comedy you just don't see anymore. >> that face, it is back. >> no, in the front. [laughter] announcer: with red every day was a circus, and he was the clown prince. >> you and i got married, i had a military wedding. >> well, there were guns there. you know. [laughter]

announcer: he could entertain you without even saying a word. now you can let red and his friends entertain you anytime you like. >> we are ready for our musical de-but. >> that is "debut." [laughter] announcer: time life went back to the vault to find 31 incredible, full color shows, and now they can all be yours on 10 dvd's -- >> yes, yes, yes. >> for just five payments of $19.99. >> fantastic. announcer: the legendary comedian. >> you english have a great sense of humor. everything seems to tickle you. >> we wear tweed underwear, you know. [laughter] announcer: the incredible music. >> ♪ who is the coolest guy? that is what i ask fast talking, slow walking, good-looking ♪

announcer: and classic characters. >> i give him the old one, three, one, three, one, three. >> well, what happened to two? >> i get that. announcer: plus, exclusive extras, including a full-length biography of red, featuring rare home movies and intimate interviews. >> he could feel things very deeply, and he could laugh at himself, too. announcer: and if you order in the next three minutes, you'll also receive a free bonus dvd packed with red's farewell specials, like his command performance for real royalty. >> girl comes in. he is all beaten up. he says, what happened? he says, oh, you'll never believe it. i was flying too low over london, and i got in the damnedest badminton game you ever saw. [laughter] [applause] announcer: we will also include a beautiful memory book, giving you a closer look at how red's most beloved characters came to life. >> it is too good for a fellow like me, much too good. announcer: we are so sure that red will make your whole family smile that we will ship it all to you absolutely free. >> thanks for the tips. [laughter] announcer: you will only find the definitive collection here with this exclusive offer. >> thank you, sir.

announcer: plus, your satisfaction is guaranteed. >> oh, boy, i tell you i am having fun. announcer: if you don't fall in love with red all over again, we will refund your purchase price, no questions asked. >> you like to get your money back? announcer: this is your chance to own the "red skelton hour," 11 dvd's overflowing with 31 hilarious shows in brilliant color, including exclusive extras, the bonus dvd of farewell specials, and the memory book, for just five easy payments of $19.99. >> keep them coming like that, will you? that is a good one. [laughter] announcer: we will ship it for free, satisfaction guaranteed. >> now if you folks don't mind, i will take my applause now. [laughter] announcer: to experience true red, white, and blue entertainment, you need to see red. so don't miss your chance, order now. [applause] >> i will try to sum everything up with a little song that i've written. ♪ >> ♪ the time has come to say good night

my, how time has flied we've had a laugh perhaps a tear and now we hear goodbye i really hate to say good night for times like these are few i wish you love and happiness in everything you do the time has come to say good night and i hope i've made a friend and so we'll say may god bless until we meet again ♪ goodnight for now and may god bless. goodnight, and thank you. [applause] announcer: we will say good night, but not goodbye, with this full-color red skelton collection, you and your family can see red anytime you like. order now. >> the preceding was a paid advertisement for time life.

>> the preceding was a paid program. the opinions and views

>> the following is a paid program. the opinions and views expressed do not reflect those of bloomberg lp, its affiliates, or its employees. >> the following is a paid advertisement from time life. announcer: if there was a rule, he broke it. george: when you're in someone else's house, and they leave you in the room, any room for a moment, do you look in the drawer? [laughter] george: i don't want to steal anything. i just want to know where everything is. in case i'm asked. announcer: if the word was unspeakable, he spoke it. george: there's a lot of these two-way double entendre words that have two meanings. i call them part-time filth.

ass is hardly a bad word. this has a few meanings you can't say on television. like you said you made a perfect ass of yourself tonight. but you can't say hey, let's go get some [beep]. announcer: but if you think unshockable. george: it's showtime. announcer: get ready for george carlin. george: a professional comedian. as opposed to the ones he run -- you run into work all day long. announcer: over five incredible decades, comedy changed its look, changed its sound, and changed everything around us. george: visine, do they look that red? [laughter] [applause] george: can you hold that for me? hey, now i need it. now i need it. [laughter] george: now you're under arrest. announcer: through it all, one man was the talking, ranting,

raving, voice of the culture. george: i call him muhammad ali because that's what he wants. he is a big dude and he hits hard. government wanted him to change jobs. government wanted him to kill people. [laughter] [applause] george: he thought it over, and he said no, that's where i draw the line. i'll beat them up, but i don't want to kill them. [laughter] and the government told him well, if you don't kill them, we won't let you beat them up. [laughter] announcer: from ed sullivan to the very first saturday night live, from dozens of late-night appearances to his incredible 14 hbo specials. george: hitler only had one ball. a lot of people don't know that. they say hitler, geez, he had a lot of balls. [laughter] george: one. announcer: carlin broke ground and turned comedy on its head. george: that is a true oxymoron if i ever heard one.

civil war. do you think any country could really have a civil war? say, pardon me. [mimicking gunshots] george: i'm awfully sorry. announcer: now, for the first time ever, you can see it all. over 30 unique performances covering the hilarious scope of george carlin's brilliant mind and one-of-a-kind career, captured in one complete collection, exclusively from time life. george: you know what's great about being a dog? you can [beep] whenever you want. announcer: so hold onto your front row seat, because there are more than seven words you can't say on television. george: [beep] [beep] [beep] [beep] announcer: but you'll hear every one in this outrageous, explosive collection. george: it is about the seven words you can't say on television, which i have been amending since then. folks have been reminding me of others. [laughter] [beep] announcer: live, honest,

uncensored, and funnier than ever. george: the greatest thing since sliced bread. [laughter] george: so, this is it, huh folks? the pyramid's, for christ's sakes. panama canal, the great wall of china, even a lava lamp. [laughter] to me, is greater than sliced bread. what's so great about sliced bread? you got a knife, you've got a loaf of bread. slice the [beep] thing. [laughter] announcer: ladies and gentlemen, george carlin. >> i used to be this guy, or this guy used to be me. i don't know, we were each other at one time. announcer: in the beginning, george was a freshfaced guy in a tie, making the rounds. >> welcome on a wonderful wednesday, winning your way with 100 wacky ways on the radio. announcer: but soon enough, the times were a-changing, and so was george. george: que pasa?

announcer: he traded the tie for a beard and took aim at the establishment. george: police fired over the heads of rioters today, however they killed 200 people living on the second floor. [laughter] announcer: while george's star was rising, a little cable network called hbo was changing the comedy game. george: because of the fcc, i'm never sure what it is i'm allowed to say. announcer: on hbo, there is nothing george couldn't say. their raw and uncensored specials took us inside the club and brought comedy to the masses. george: i would like to bring you up-to-date on the comedian's health sweepstakes. as it stands right now, i lead richard pryor in heart attacks, 2-1. [laughter] [applause] george: i'm ahead. however, richard still leads me 1-0 on burning yourself up. [laughter] announcer: but even hbo had to warn us that carlin was special.

>> tonight you will see a performance usually only seen only if you could get to nightclubs, college campuses, and theaters where george carlin is a constant sellout. a portion of his performance needs a special introduction, at least for television. announcer: he was going to make us see the world in a whole new way. george: if there is a god, it has to be a man. no woman could or would ever [beep] things up like this. [applause] announcer: over the decades, carlin kept opening up our minds. george: we have more words of -- ways to describe dirty words than we actually have dirty words. that seems strange to me. it seems to indicate someone was awfully interested in these words. they kept referring to them. they called them bad words, dirty, filthy, foul, vile, vulgar, coarse, in poor taste, unseemly, street talk, gutter talk, locker room language,

barracks talk, baudy, naughty, saucy, raunchy, rude, crude, lewd, lascivious, indecent, profane, obscene, blue, off-color, risqué, suggestive, cursing, cussing, swearing, and all i can think of was [beep], [beep], and [beep]. announcer: staggering 14 hbo specials. george: at's my job, thinking up goofy [beep], every now and then letting you know what it is, or reminding you of things you already know, but forgot to laugh at the first time they happened. announcer: comedians are a dime a dozen, but only one in a million is a legend. this collection is your chance to laugh along with the genius of george carlin anytime you like. george: in our schools, we did not have grades. we did not have a's, b's, c's, or d's. the only a's i got was -- i got their attention, their

approval, and their approbation, and applause. those are the only a's i wanted and i got them. announcer: the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth has never been funnier. george: if you heard one of the albums, you know i once made a list of the seven words you could say on television. but there are seven words you must say on television from time to time, and that's what i have to do now. we'll be right back after station identification. i hope you're ready for random anger. announcer: george carlin was not a fan of advertising. george: turn on the [beep] tv! announcer: but this collection is just too good to keep to ourselves, so we are going to give it to you straight. ready? here it goes. george: people ought to get what they want once in a while. announcer: introducing the best of george carlin, exclusively from time life. george: i just want some entertainment. it's just the kind of guy i am. announcer: this is the must have comprehensive collection of carlin classics. george: got to check it out. announcer: 10 discs featuring all 14 of his legendary hbo specials.

george: [beep] cable. this has got to be on pay-per-view. [laughter] early appearances on the hollywood palace, the the jackie gleason show and "the ed sullivan show." george: tonight's forecast, dark. announcer: hours of bonus content, including carlin's one and only mainstream special, "the real george carlin." george: i grew up here, really. announcer: a lost company record, sourced from over 40 years of carlin's personal cassettes. george: speaking from places where people blow cows, let me ask you a question. [laughter] announcer: in-depth interviews featuring george in conversation with jon stewart, the archive of american television, and himself. george: they had to read these words out loud in court. i'm just proud of that. announcer: and so much more. george: ever notice you can't seem to get laid on thanksgiving? [laughter] all of the old coats are on the bed. announcer: key performances from the most masterful mind in the history of comedy.

>> pussyfoot, interesting word, a rare female birth defect. >> no bull, no baloney. 10 discs, all carlin, all for only five payments of $19.99. george: wait until i tell them this. announcer: plus, if you order in the next 10 minutes, we will send you bonus dvds. george: have you ever looked at your watch and then you don't know what time it is? [laughter] george: so you look again. announcer: totally exclusive. available for the first time ever, six of george's legendary appearances on the tonight show featuring johnny carson. george: the bureau of indian affairs has discovered another mohican. announcer: and we will ship it to you absolutely free. george: great, isn't this great? announcer: plus, if you order now, we will offer a collecter's booklet. with photos, quotes and a big picture look at george's electrifying career. this collection is all the best

and only the best, over 30 unique performances totaling 30 hours from five decades. george: i'd like to repeat that, because it sounds vaguely important. announcer: anything we missed? george: no cash, no problem. no kidding. announcer: right. this is the collectors carlin, and you can't find it in stores. only time life can bring it straight to you and your satisfaction is guaranteed. george: easy terms, affordable prices, moneyback guarantee. announcer: if you have not laughed yourself silly at the best of george carlin -- george: i always wanted to work in a delicatessen just so a woman could ask me to give her some tongue. and i would say well, i don't get off until 4:00. and she said well, i don't get off at all. that is why i am looking for some tongue. announcer: we'll refund 100% of your purchase price, no questions asked. george: when you return an item, you put it anywhere you want. announcer: order now to get the best of george carlin.

over 30 unique performances, including 14 hbo specials, hours of exclusive extras, plus your two bonus dvds of carlin on carson that have never been available before on dvd. that is 12 discs of classic carlin, plus the exclusive collectors' booklet all for just five payments of $19.99. and we'll ship it for free. george: that is a big bunch. announcer: no lies, just laughter. george: i'm here to entertain and inform. announcer: order now. george: i'll be heading home to you. yes, some words of fun. words like flammable. flammable, inflammable, and non-inflammable. [laughter] george: why are there three? does it seem to you as though two words ought to be able to handle that idea? i mean either the thing flamms or it doesn't flamm.

[applause] announcer: george carlin was a master of language. >> your fascination with language is so apparent. watching you work watching a -- is almost like watching a musician. the way you weave words and use language for emphasis. george: you look for ways to say -- to sing at the same time you're talking, going doo-doo-dooo. it's just natural. announcer: whether he was giving us the weather, the news. george: food and drug administration announced saliva causes stomach cancer. [laughter] [applause] george: however, only when swallowed in small amounts over a long period of time. [laughter] announcer: or just his views. george: i got this moron thing i do, it's called thinking. and i'm not a really good american because i like to form my own opinion. i don't just roll over when i'm told to. there are a couple of things about kids you have to remember.

first of all, they're not all cute, ok? if you look at them close, some of them are rather unpleasant looking. announcer: he delivered a handcrafted, pitch perfect performance from the ground up. george: i'm a rude dude, but i'm a real deal. lean, mean. rough, tough, hard to blow. i take it slow. i go with the flow. i ride with the tide. i got glide in my stride. sailing and spinning. i don't snooze so i don't lose. i keep the pedal to the metal and the rubber on the road. i party hardy and lunch time is crunch time. i'm hanging in. there ain't no doubt. and i'm hanging tough, over and out. [applause] announcer: from rehearsals to clubs to late-night. george: if you change your plans and alter your plans, you've done the same thing. but if you change your pants and alter your pants, you've done two different things. announcer: when carlin works out a routine in front of an audience, you are seeing greatness taking shape before your eyes. george: as long as we're talking

about minorities -- aren't we? indirectly? ok. i have to remember to keep that in. i'm getting laughs on the expedition. announcer: these have been painstakingly gathered. and together, they take you inside the brilliant brain of a master comic. george: [beep] lance armstrong. [beep] him and his ball and his bike. who gives a [beep]? i am tired of being told who to admire in this country. [applause] george: while you're at it, [beep] tiger woods too! [laughter] announcer: he called them like he saw them. george: are you ready for some fun? they say blondes have more fun. unfortunately, they also have more vd. announcer: he told it like it is. george: the upper-class keeps all of the money, pays none of the taxes. the middle classes pays all of

the taxes, does all of the work. the poor are there to scare the [beep] out of the middle class. [laughter] announcer: and he never let anyone shut him up. george: if there is a god, may he strike this audience dead. see? everybody's fine, nobody's hurt. announcer: only george carlin could make us laugh by telling the truth. george: you notice there are not many chinese guys named rusty? [laughter] >> all over canada they have been asking for us to bring back george carlin. so, ladies and gentlemen, here is comedy star george carlin. announcer: introducing the best of george carlin, presented by time life. george: i am, indeed, highly dandy. announcer: this is the must-have, comprehensive collection of carlin classics. george: we're doing a tape for home consumption. announcer: 10 discs featuring all 14 of his legendary hbo specials.

george: ever pet a cat lying absolutely flat. way up in the air. announcer: plus rare clips, including early appearances on "the ed sullivan show," the hollywood palace, and the jackie gleason show. george: usually the television day begins with the morning prayer, god willing. announcer: hours of bonus content, including carlin's one and only mainstream network special, "the real george carlin." george: i am from this neighborhood and i used to get over. announcer: in-depth interviews, featuring george in conversation with jon stewart, the archive of american television, and himself. george: time to get this thing going. announcer: and so much more. george: excuse me. [laughter] i don't remember eating that. announcer: all the key performances from the most masterful mind in the history of comedy. george: a man in detroit is suing a soup company, claiming a bowl of alphabet soup spelled an obscene message to his wife. [laughter] announcer: no bull, no baloney, 10 discs, all carlin, all for five payments of $19.99.

george: this is good stuff. announcer: plus, if you order in the next 10 minutes. george: 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10... announcer: we'll send you two bonus dvds. totally exclusive and available for the first time ever, six of george's legendary appearances on the tonight show, starring johnny carson. george: anyone can do it. agents and managers can do them now. i'm sure somewhere in the world, there is a bear that can do it. and a good one, yeah. just from being on the show. [laughter] announcer: and we'll ship it all to you absolutely free. announcer: if you order now, we will also include a collectors booklet with photos, quotes, and a look at george's electrifying career. >> don't know what you might find in here. announcer: this collection is all the best and only the best,

over 30 unique performances totaling 30 hours from across five decades. george: what? announcer: anything we missed, george? george: and i answered, well, yes, apparently so. announcer: right. this is the collectors carlin, and you won't find them in stores. only time life can bring them to you, and your satisfaction is guaranteed. george: spectacular thing going on there. announcer: if you haven't left -- laughed yourself silly at george carlin, we will refund 100% of your purchase price, no questions asked. george: yes, you get back everything. announcer: so order now to get the best of george carlin, over 30 unique performances, including all 14 hbo specials, hours of exclusive extras, plus your two bonus dvds of carlin on carson that have never been available on dvd. that is 12 discs of classic carlin, plus the exclusive collectors booklet, all for just five payments of $19.99.

and we'll ship it for free. george: pretty neat deal, huh? announcer: no lies, just laughter. george: i'm willing to put myself at great personal risk for the sake of entertainment. and i have always been willing to put you at risk for a similar reason. announcer: order now. george: i'd like to place an order and i'd like to pick it up. i can go out on stage? [applause] announcer: george carlin thrilled every audience he stood in front of. but at his heart, he was a comic's comic. george: it gets my mind thinking. jon: there are two things that comedians of all stripes have in common, basically. one, the belief that someone who is not as funny as they are is doing better than they are. [laughter] jon: and two -- we're a cynical bunch. and two, a sincere love for george carlin and his work. >> george is different. he writes his own material. i can understand his creativeness. announcer: the generations that came before him were dazzled by him. jackie: if i were asked to describe our next comedian, i

would have to say he's the most original in show business. >> it is great to see new comedians come along, because if there is one thing the world can always use, you know it's a smile. and this young fellow is one of the best. announcer: and the generations that followed him all tried to walk in his footsteps. >> i've been a fan of george's ever since i first have met him. boy, is he great now. >> i first began listening to him in seventh grade. we had gotten a hold of class clown, and man, it was funny and dirty, and great. and we just knew, instinctively, that parents weren't going to like this kind of thing. [laughter] my pleasure in listening to george rose every time i hear him, as my respect and admiration for him as a performer and as a person. announcer: george had a sharp mind, a powerful voice, and a huge heart.

george: my mother, at these intermissions, she would say someone, look at that man over there. look at the way he's holding his glass. look at the way he moves his hand. watch how he holds his cigarette. he's cultured. he has refinement. you have that. so, i'm going to get a chance to realize that, for her, in a way. george: part of the deal, what happens when you get a pet. you have him for a while, they get old. they go away. [laughter] george: it's inevitable when you buy the pet. you're supposed to know it in the pet shop. it's going to end badly. you're purchasing a small tragedy. [laughter] announcer: he loved his pet. he loved his family. and he might not have loved humanity, but he sure loved people. george: when you're born in this world, you're given a ticket to the freak show. when you're born in america, you are given a front row seat.

and some of us get to sit there with notebooks. and i am a notebook guy. oh, my god. did you see that? and i watch the freak show and i got my notes and i make up stuff about it, and i talk about the freaks. and the freaks are all human. they're like me. we're all the same. i'm not better, i'm not different, i am just a part now. announcer: george could joke about life and death. george: i'm getting old, and it's ok, because thanks to our fear of death in this country, i won't have to die. i'll pass away. [applause] george: the epitaph i'd like is, jeez, he was just here a minute ago. announcer: he could keep it light. george: i'm a happy guy. announcer: or go deep into the dark. george: religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky, who watches everything you do. and the invisible man has a list

of 10 specific things he doesn't want you to do. and if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place of burning and fire, smoke and torture and anguish, for you to live forever. but he loves you. [laughter] announcer: george carlin had a mind for all times. and anytime he was talking, he was making us laugh. george: i have a theory of why people moan at certain jokes. envy. [laughter] george: now i'm going to lighten up a little bit. we're going to go back to advertising. announcer: george was not a fan of advertising. george: here we go again. announcer: but this collection is just too good to keep to ourselves, so we're going to give it to you straight. ready? here it goes. introducing the best of george carlin, exclusively from time life. george: you want that now?

announcer: this is the must have comprehensive collection of carlin classics. george: by any chance did you hear that? announcer: 10 discs, featuring 14 of his legendary hbo specials. george: it is hbo time. announcer: plus rare clips, including early appearances on the jackie gleason show, "the ed sullivan show, and the hollywood palace. george: bring your rain dance friday night, weather permitting. announcer: hours of bonus content, including carlin's one and only mainstream network special, "the real george carlin." a lost comedy record, sourced from over 40 years of carlin's personal cassettes. george: i'm going to try this on you. [laughter] announcer: in-depth interviews featuring george in conversation with jon stewart, the archive of american television, and himself. george: ding ding ding. announcer: and so much more. george: more fun for me. announcer: all the key performances from the most masterful mind in the history of comedy. george: when you are a kid, they threaten you.

wait until your father comes home. he's going to read you the riot act. tell him i already read it myself! [laughter] and i didn't like it either. i consider it wordy and poorly thought out. announcer: no bull, no baloney. 10 discs. all carlin. all for five payments of $19.99. george: wow. announcer: plus, if you order in the next three minutes, we'll send you two free bonus dvds, totally exclusive and available for the first time ever, six of george's legendary appearances on "the tonight show" starring johnny carson. george: on the medical front, researchers discovered a new disease which has no symptoms. it is impossible to detect and there is no known cure for it. fortunately, it's confined to new jersey. announcer: and we'll ship it all to you absolutely free. george: i'm in the car. announcer: we'll also include a collectors booklet with photos, quotes, and a big picture look

at george's electrifying career. this collection is all the best and only the best, over 30 unique performances, totaling 30 hours from across five decades. george: hurricanes, they form just off the coast of west africa. they fall off the coast of west africa, they go all the way across the ocean, and they attacked the south. [laughter] announcer: anything we missed? george: these are my rules. i make them up. announcer: right. this is the collectors carlin, and you won't find it in stores. only time life can bring it to you and your satisfaction is guaranteed. george: quality, value, styles. announcer: if you haven't laughed yourself silly at the best of george carlin, we'll refund 100% of your purchase price, no questions asked. george: a little truth in advertising. announcer: so order now and get the best of george carlin. over 30 unique performances, including all 14 hbo specials, hours of exclusive extras.

plus, your two bonus dvds that have never been available on dvd. that's 12 discs of honest, hilarious, classic carlin, plus the exclusive collectors booklet, all for just five payments of $19.99. and we'll ship it for free. george: this is the best we can do, folks. this is what we have to offer. announcer: no lie, just laughter. george: you wouldn't know it, but some of the things i've said over the years, but i like people. [laughter] announcer: order now. george: our courteous and knowledgeable sales representatives will help you make a selection that's just right for you and just right for your budget. thanks to you and thanks to everybody who thought this would be a good idea. i know i had some fun. see you on the street, take care now. announcer: it's always a good idea to feel the love with the best of george carlin. [applause] george: i love you. [beep] you. announcer: order now. >> the preceding was a paid advertisement from time life.

>> the preceding was a paid program. the opinions and views expressed do not reflect those of bloomberg lp, its affiliates, or its employees.

announcer: the following is a paid program. the opinions and views expressed do not reflect those of bloomberg lp, its affiliates, or its employees. ♪ announcer: the following is a paid advertisement from time life. robin: my name is robin williams. [laughter] announcer: hold onto your hat. robin: for those of you on acid, this is a frisbee. [laughter] announcer: the time has come for an epic entertainment event. it's mind blowing. it is jaw-dropping. and most of all, it's genius. >> genius. >> genius. >> genius. >> comedic genius. announcer: time life proudly presents a once-in-a-lifetime collection decades in the making. robin: yo -- it's robin. announcer: "robin williams,

comic genius." robin: you are sucked into drinking beer by thinking it is a healthy thing. all these beer commercials usually show manly men doing manly things. you've just killed a small animal. it's time for a light beer. [laughter] why not have a realistic beer commercial? what's a realistic thing about beer? it's 5:00 in the morning. you have just [expletive] on a dumpster. it's miller time. [laughter] announcer: for years, robin williams was the funniest man on earth, the biggest star in comedy, and everywhere robin went, every show he performed, every stage he set foot on, he left us laughing. robin: what jack is trying to say here, is he is so happy to be here, he could drop a log, really. [laughter] announcer: and now, for the first time ever, time life has painstakingly gathered over 60 unique performances from across four decades by the most lovable entertainer of our lifetime. robin: male cats have that amazing thing where they are kind of walking around going, "that's mine." [laughter] robin: "mine!"

announcer: this is the ultimate collection of must-have masterpieces of comedy, spanning robin's entire incredible career, hand selected by the people you trust to bring you the best. robin: there is only one animal that can tell you that she's happy and wants to mate. that is coco the silver-backed gorilla. when she saw me, the blue-eyed simian, she was intrigued. i said to her trainer, "what does that mean?" "she wants you to tickle her." ok, i tickle her. she goes -- then, she goes -- "what does that mean?" "she wants you to lift your shirt." [laughter] i lift my shirt. she reaches out and grabs both my nipples. [laughter] robin: and then a fun thing happened, because my [beep] went, "somebody wants to play. can we go to phrase two?" no, do not go to phase two! [laughter] robin: this is not a human! warning, warning. [laughter] robin: but part of me went, "could be fun." [laughter] announcer: we all knew robin williams. and we all loved him.

but now, you'll see robin like you've never seen him before. robin: we look like a before and after commercial. [laughter] robin: hi, thanks to this incredible implant, you can become tom cruise. announcer: you will go where he goes, from carson to leno. robin: remember when w used to call himself a compassionate conservative? i always thought it was a weird combination, like a volvo with a gun rack. [laughter] announcer: hbo to oprah. oprah: i have to rest up when you come, because you just never know what direction you will take us. [laughter] announcer: "mork and mindy," to ellen. robin: they go, "do you want to eat?" [laughter] "i know a place that frank sinatra had the best pasta ever made, this place. hold on one moment. [speaking italian]" [laughter]

[speaking italian] [laughter] [applause] [laughter] [speaking italian] don't worry. i know him. [laughter] announcer: on talk shows, award shows. >> here to present you with the award for the funniest standup comic. robin: no. serious? who do i thank? nobody! it's mine! [laughter] announcer: standup tours, uso tours, and more. robin: ♪ you know my baby, you got be the fool ♪ [inaudible] announcer: so sit back, buckle up, and get ready to take a wild ride through the dazzling, dizzying, delightful mind of a comic genius, starting now. >> all of us admire the great, fast reflexes of great athletes.

for those of us who have not been blessed with your gift, how do you explain the mental reflexes you deploy and are deploying tonight with such awesome speed? are you thinking faster than the rest of us, what the hell is going on? [laughter] [applause] robin: in case you ever go to the soviet union, it is necessary to know this phrase. [speaking russian] "why am i under arrest?" [laughter] announcer: robin was a comic, a rocket, a ball of energy bursting with contagious joy. robin: i would like to start off with something i am very proud of right now. [laughter] i will have to ask these people to move back, though. announcer: from his early years, to the height of his fame, robin williams was most at home on the stage. robin: home in san francisco. back again.

announcer: robin's standup comedy was a roller coaster ride through his incredible mind, and he never did exactly the same show twice. robin: everyone i have ever known. [laughter] there are people here i have slept with twice. [laughter] announcer: you never knew what robin would say or do. robin: you don't need drugs when you have a kid, you are awake, you are paranoid, you smell bad. it is the same thing. announcer: because he never knew what he would say or do. robin: how are you, my friend? what? that's your old boss? did you [bleep] him? sorry. not an inappropriate question to ask in washington. announcer: but he always loved an audience, and we always loved him right back. >> robin, i was just out there enjoying perrier water and was laughing my [bleep] off and i am up here and i'm wet. robin: i guess you are ready then. [laughter]

announcer: robin's legendary hbo specials captured his lightning in a bottle and preserved it for generations to come. robin: to do hamlet, to be, or what? announcer: these iconic shows span his explosive career from the electrifying beginning, to the masterful peak. robin: the difference between a tornado and divorce in the south is somebody losing a trailer, there is none. announcer: and they are altogether for the first time in this definitive, one-of-a-kind collection. robin: and now, they can invent a sport like golf. here is my idea. a ball in the gopher hole. you mean like pool? not with a straight stick, with a little stick. [laughter] the ball goes in the gopher hole. oh, you mean like croquet? [beep] croquet, i put the hole hundreds of yards away!

right near the end, i will put a flat piece between the two flags to give you [bleep] hope. i will do this one time. [bleep] no! [laughter] >> as a standup, as a comedian, there was no one finer. >> you don't remember robin's act, you just remember you were there and you watched it, how you remember something where it's like 45,000 things just happened. robin: i would like to introduce to you a friend of mine who is a funny human being. but trust me, he is crazy. i worked with him once on stage. he asked me to come up and do improv with him, and i watched him for an hour. ladies and gentlemen, robin williams. announcer: introducing robin williams, comic genius, exclusively from time-life. robin: when they say, "let there be light," could this be a metaphor for the big bong? the big bong? god sat back and went, "wow, do

you know what this needs? a lot more stuff. because up until now, there was not a lot around." and once we had the big bong, we had a total expansion of the universe, and god said, "i think i should create a sugary snack." [laughter] announcer: this is the comedy event we all have been waiting for. robin: we are having a wonderful here tonight. can i get an "amen" right now? >> amen. announcer: for the first time ever, one collection captures the full scope of robin's unique genius, across decades and across the globe. robin: [speaking french] >> quebec. robin: ok. so i will talk slower. [speaking french] announcer: everywhere he went, he made us laugh. now, you can own all his most amazing performances to watch again and again. robin: here in california, you have total amnesty, because they

know nobody is going to stop themselves to the top of a range rover for a mocha. they walk through your yard like supermodels with hooves. like, "hi." are these your roses? [laughter] oh my god, a deer fence. [laughter] announcer: this is the very best of robin, on 11 dvd's for only five payments of $19.99. robin: you can hear credit cards flying out of their wallets right now. announcer: you will see over 60 unique performances from across four decades, like robin's legendary hbo specials. robin: i will show you around. [laughter] announcer: and hand selected, full-length episodes of "mork and mindy" with introductions from pam dawber. robin: formal introduction. get down. i am mork, from ork. na nu na nu? >> i'm mindy mcconnell. [laughter]

announcer: you will travel the world with robin to watch him dazzle audiences everywhere. robin: chuck, pam, great to see you. [laughter] announcer: on carson, leno, ellen, and oprah. robin: don't try this at home. announcer: at awards shows, at home, and overseas. robin: everyone is in desert camo and one guy is in jungle green. i guess he didn't get the memo. announcer: this collection is packed with extras like bloopers, interviews, and more. >> check these legs out. am i french or what? announcer: even when robin was bad, he was always good. >> even when he was dirty, your mom would go, "he was kind of naughty, but funny." announcer: and now, you can own it all, even the stuff we can't show you on tv. robin: the sensors over there are going -- i hand you my resignation. announcer: plus, if you order in the next 18 minutes, we will also send you an exclusive bonus dvd just in time for the holidays, the acclaimed hbo documentary, "robin williams: come inside my mind."

and if you order now, you will also receive a special stocking stuffer from time-life. "robin williams: uncensored," full of behind-the-scenes photos, hilarious quotes, and personal tour notes. robin: i want to read to you from a special book here. it says here, "two jews walk into a bar." [laughter] announcer: and we will ship it all to you absolutely free. this collection is as unique as robin. it makes a great gift, and you won't find it in stores. only time-life can bring it straight to you, and your satisfaction is guaranteed. robin: i love when you are standing, but even when you are sitting. announcer: if robin doesn't brighten your day and have you dancing in the aisles, we will refund 100% of your purchase price, no questions asked. robin: that's right, and if you order now, you also get the salad. [laughter] announcer: so order now to get robin williams comic genius, over 30 hours of stand up, late-night performances of "mork and mindy," plus the documentary "come inside my mind."

that is 12 dvd's bursting with comic genius, plus robin williams uncensored, all for just five payments of $19.99, and we will ship it for free. robin: it really sounds great to me. you really should see it. that is right. announcer: this is not your average comedy collection. it is an epic entertainment event, so give yourself the gift of laughter. order now. robin: you better buy this or i will nail your [bleep] to a tree. i can grant you one wish. >> i wish to have robin williams on my show. robin: that is impossible. he is a big hollywood superstar. he is an academy award winner. are there any other wishes you would have? >> i would like to be young and beautiful. robin: ok, i will get you robin williams. announcer: robin's joy was contagious. everywhere he went, people broke out in smiles and laughter. robin: are you ok? announcer: he quickly became television's best guest. [cheering and applause]

♪ robin: don't be afraid. come on, mr. camera, we are going crazy. >> look. toys all over the set. don't be afraid. >> he just turned on the switch and let him go. robin: can you teach me this? you better hold on. don't make me come down and get real crazy. announcer: our favorite hosts would do their best jokes when robin dropped by. >> we're having a pretty good time here with robin. i have laughed so much. i'm getting one of those laugh headaches. you gave me a case of your wine. it is very tasty. robin: that's a good thing. ellen: is it your wine? you make it? robin: i don't make it personally. a group of little ladies in australia knit jumpers for penguins. "they are for the little ones, you know." they knit these penguins sweaters the penguins wear until their feathers grow back.

>> that's adorable. are they, like, tank tops? [laughter] robin: a lovely gay jumper. "i want something to make my flippers look good." announcer: even other guests got caught up in the madness. [laughter] >> do women generally like you making those noises? robin: oh, yeah. [laughter] announcer: when the unexpected happened -- >> both of these are real talent houses. robin: it is the comet again. people of earth. >> we are back on. we are back on. robin: it is the mothership, jay. announcer: there was no one you would rather have up to bat than robin, especially when he brought a friend. >> robin used to scream on the set, "he's back! he's back! he is so hot!" [laughter] i am like joan embry, and i just brought him out. [laughter] [applause]

announcer: and when the unexpected was what you expected, robin was right where he belonged. robin: what sound or noise do you love? [fart noise] [laughter] robin: because it is musical, but it could be anything. it is the most humanizing noise, to know that even the pope could be going [speaking italian] [fart noise] >> robin williams was the first real celebrity interview i did. >> robin came out and he wanted to kill, he wanted to slay the audience. >> robin, you felt you were watching a genius at work. robin: take two. let's go, let's go.

let's start from the beginning. let's go. announcer: introducing robin williams comic genius, exclusively from time-life. robin: in california this summer, all the state parks caught on fire. which is bad, because these parks are full of weed. it is bad news. even the guys fighting the fires were like -- [laughter] "oh my god, make another rainbow, tommy." even smokey the bear is going, "only you can -- " [laughter] announcer: this is the comedy event we have all been waiting for. robin: the adventure of your life. remember that, boys and girls. announcer: for the first time ever, one collection captures robin's unique genius across decades and across the globe. robin: i would like to take some pictures for the people at home in the soviet union. excuse me. thank you. announcer: this is the very best of robin on 11 dvd's for only five payments of $19.99, you will see over 60 unique performances from across four decades, like robin's legendary hbo specials.

robin: i know there is a cure for whatever bioterrorism they send at us, it lies within keith richards. i know that. he's the only man on the planet who can go, "anthrax, alright." [laughter] announcer: and hand selected full-length episodes of "mork and mindy" with introductions from pam dawber. robin: no, sir. that is not quite right. i am the son of a test tube. announcer: travel the world with robin to watch him dazzle audiences everywhere. robin: everybody is on here. look at this. alaska. [seal noise] hawaii. and there is california -- "for sure, totally." announcer: on oprah, ellen, carson, and leno. >> you guys complement each other. robin: 20 years of foreplay. announcer: on talk shows, award shows, at home and overseas. robin: so nice to be in a place called manass. i come from san francisco. is there really a place called that?

it is a base. oh, i'm going. announcer: this collection is packed to the gills with extras like bloopers, interviews, and more. >> he is like a child with the mind of a genius. announcer: even when robin was bad, he was always good. robin: caliente. [laughter] robin: so bad. raise a hand. announcer: and now you can own it all, even the stuff we can't show you on tv. robin: yes! announcer: plus, if you order in the next 10 minutes, we will also send you an incredible exclusive bonus dvd, just in time for the holidays, the acclaimed hbo documentary, "robin williams: come inside my mind." robin: [robot voice] it's robin. i'm calling you, giving you love. goodbye. announcer: and if you order now, you will receive a special stocking stuffer from time-life. robin: merry christmas. ha ha ha ha.

announcer: robin williams uncensored, full of behind-the-scenes photos, hilarious quotes, and personal tour notes. robin: but wait, there is more. announcer: we will ship it to you absolutely free. robin: thanks for nothing. [laughter] announcer: this collection is as unique as robin. it makes a great gift, and you won't find it in stores. only time life can bring it straight to you, and your satisfaction is guaranteed. robin: check it out. check it out. announcer: if robin doesn't brighten your day and have you dancing in the aisles, we will refund 100% of your purchase price, no questions asked. robin: here is five dollars. announcer: so order now to get robin williams comic genius, over 30 hours of stand up, late night, uso performances, "mork and mindy," hours of exclusive extras, plus the hbo documentary "come inside my mind" bonus dvd. that is 12 dvd's bursting with comic genius, plus robin williams uncensored, all for just five payments of $19.99,

and we will ship it for free. robin: that is cool. that is cool. announcer: this is not your average comedy collection, it is an epic entertainment event. so, give yourself the gift of laughter. order now. robin: to television, to life, and to happiness. may we all stay crazy. for me, i love to take the chance and improvise. that is the greatest high in the world, when you are trying new stuff and getting suggestions and playing and doing new things, that is my favorite. that is the unknown. announcer: robin williams was born with a special gift. robin: my first joke was, "i love you in blue, i love you in red, but most of all, i love you in blue." announcer: and for decades, he shared that gift everywhere he went. robin: santa was delivering presence in iraq, but the reindeer are dropping flares out of their [expletive]. [laughter] robin: sorry, little girl. she had to go now. is she ok? no, no, it is ok. she can stay. she thinks i am peter pan? in many ways, i am. [laughter]

announcer: the legacy of robin is a lot of jokes, a lot of fun, and a whole lot of love. >> robin was such a kind soul, he was such a kind soul. robin: i would also like to thank the writers. they are not here right now. they are somewhere else doing wonderful drugs. [laughter] and for those of you at home on drugs, it is ok -- all the people of the production staff, the people who worked with us, around us, sometimes near us, an incredible group of people, thank you very much. it's incredible. >> i think robin was the most generous person i have ever known, but not just to me, but to lots and lots of people. robin: i am here for one reason. you. i am also here to say, you rock. [cheering] robin: if you could save one person, if you could change one person, you have done something. but for me, it is that laugh. you know?

>> part of dad's giving and generous spirit was finding acceptance. that's the word. it wasn't about the adulation, it was more so about being accepted. that was something that drove him forward and contributed to him continuing to be generous in spirit, and giving and compassionate throughout his entire life, and in so many different ways. robin: i dedicate this to the memory of a friend of mine. chris reeve, i miss you. and i also say, "may flights of angels sing thee to thy rest, sweet prince. good night." >> that need for acceptance. that drove him to continue to do it. robin: that time my son looks at me and gives me the look in the eyes like, "what is it going to be?" "son, i don't know, but maybe along the way, you will take my hand, tell a few jokes, and have some fun.

hey, how do you get to the met?" "money." "yeah, come on, pal." [applause] >> having listened to everything on this collection, i think it comes as close as humanly possible to bringing robin's genius back to life. robin: for those of you at home watching your television set, if you want to feel the power, grab the back of your tv and get a shock. [laughter] announcer: introducing robin williams, comic genius, exclusively from time-life. robin: what do you want to do, my love? maybe we can go to that queen gypsy restaurant and ask for our favorite waiter and he will give us a boost near the oyster bar. i would sit by the fireplace, but i know that bums you out very much. [laughter] announcer: this is the comedy event we have all been waiting for. >> that is a lot of fun. announcer: for the first time ever, one collection captures the full scope of robin's unique genius across decades and across the globe. robin: si. announcer: everywhere he went, he made us laugh.

and now, you can own all his most amazing performances to watch again and again. robin: ling ling the panda, she must mate. so they can build the wing for the zoo. so they go to china and anesthetize a panda, which is kind of redundant, and they bring him back to america, put him in a cage with ling ling and say, "go mate," and he looks at her like, "that is one ugly panda." [laughter] announcer: this is the best of robin on 11 dvd's for only five payments of $19.99. robin: what have you got to lose? announcer: you will see over 60 unique performances from across four decades, like robin's legendary hbo specials. robin: maybe they should have a gps that is age-appropriate. it ages with you. like, "there is your turn! hello?" [laughter] announcer: and hand selected, full-length episodes of "mork and mindy" with introductions from pam dawber. pam: we were breaking up all the time. we had license to do that. announcer: travel the world with robin to watch him dazzle audiences everywhere.

robin: mr. sinatra, can i just shake your hand? >> why not? robin: sell my clothes, i am to heaven. announcer: on leno, carson, oprah, and ellen. ellen: you brought something. robin: he is back here. aww. and unless you send your money, we are putting him in the microwave. [laughter] announcer: on talk shows, award shows, at home, and overseas. robin: be very, very quiet. i am looking for terrorists. announcer: plus, every single dvd in this collection is packed to the gills with extras like bloopers, interviews, and more. robin: yes! announcer: even when robin was bad, he was always good. robin: they ask me, why do i touch myself? because it is there. announcer: and now, you can own it all, even the stuff we can't show you on tv. robin: don't try these jokes at home. announcer: plus, if you order in the next three minutes, we will send you an incredible, exclusive bonus dvd just-in-time for the holidays, the acclaimed hbo documentary, "robin williams: come inside my mind."

and if you order now, you will also receive a special stocking stuffer from time life. robin: merry christmas, happy hanukkah. announcer: robin williams uncensored, full of behind-the-scenes photos, hilarious quotes, and personal tour notes. robin: mother gave me this so i can write my new book. announcer: and we will ship it all to you absolutely free. this collection is as unique as robin, it makes a great gift, and you won't find it in stores. only time life can bring it straight to you, and your satisfaction is guaranteed. robin: lord, yes, child. announcer: if robin doesn't brighten your day and have you dancing in the aisles, we will refund 100% of your purchase price, no questions asked. so order now to get robin williams comic genius, over 30 hours of standup, late-night, uso performances, "mork and mindy," and hours of exclusive extras, plus your bonus dvd of the hbo documentary, "come inside my mind."

that is 12 dvd's bursting with comic genius, plus robin williams uncensored, all for just five payments of $19.99, and we will ship it for free. robin: learn to be funny in your spare time. announcer: this is not your average comedy collection. it is an epic entertainment event, so give yourself the gift of laughter. order now. robin: which way is the telephone? that way. you are only given a little spark of madness. and if you lose that, you are nothing. don't -- from me to you -- don't ever lose that, because it keeps you alive, because if you lose that -- that is my only love. crazy. [applause] ♪ announcer: so let robin light up your home and your heart. [applause] robin: we did it! announcer: order now. announcer: the preceding was a paid advertisement from time life.

announcer: the preceding was a paid program. the opinions and views expressed do not reflect those of bloomberg lp, its affiliates, or its employees. ♪ here, it all starts with a simple... hello! hi! how can i help? a data plan for everyone. everyone? everyone. let's send to everyone! wifi up there? uhh. sure, why not? how'd he get out?! a camera might figure it out. that was easy! glad i could help. at xfinity, we're here to make life simple. easy. awesome. so come ask, shop, discover at your local xfinity store today.

announcer: the following is a paid program. the opinions and views expressed do not reflect those of bloomberg lp, its affiliates, or its employees. announcer: the following is a paid advertisement for time life's video collection. carol: hello. i am carol burnett, and i am here at cbs in los angeles at studio 33. come on in. ♪ [applause] >> from television city in hollywood. ♪ [applause] it's "the carol burnett show." carol: this is the stage where it all began. we shot all 11 seasons of my

variety show here. we also made some many great memories, but no one has seen the first five seasons of the carol burnett show since they were first aired. no reruns, no web streaming, no dvd, nowhere, nothing, zip. until now. i just got the most exciting news. time life will be releasing them for everybody to enjoy. they are here in the vault, and i will look at them now. join me. >> it was like a gang of friends putting on a show, and it just happened to be seen by millions and millions of people. >> carol burnett, take one. carol: hi, this is carol burnett. be sure to watch my first show, when my guests will be vicki lawrence, and my extra special guest, private gomer pyle himself, jim nabors. >> you haven't seen anything yet. carol: do you know who i am? >> no. carol: in that case, please continue. >> i am surely dimple. >> my name is alice fortnite. >> is that you, stella?

>> good evening, your majesty. now it is time for you to show your talent. so we are -- >> [laughter] >> they accomplished in one hour more songs, more dances, more spoofs, more skits, and more comedy -- >> what's the matter with her? >> what makes you think anything is the matter? >> her mouth is not moving. that is not like her. ♪ carol: here they are. it is pretty wonderful. tim conway's first appearance is here. and my very first show with my first guest, my buddy, jim neighbors. my heroes were bob hope, bob newhart. i just can't wait to see them. [laughter] >> who is the midget? [laughter] >> that is our daughter, mildred junior. >> why didn't you tell me we had a child? [laughter]

>> i hate you. oh, yes. i hate you, i hate your power. [laughter] i will give you savage. where does it say after the line, savage? >> my name is jardine. >> pardon me, sir. [laughter] >> welcome to the castle. >> he is prettier than i am. [laughter] >> one never knows who is going to come into your life. that is the doorbell. >> i can't see anyone now, i can't. i just can't. >> it is a man. >> open the door. >> george mullins. >> what? >> you have to hold me so tight? >> we have to act like a couple on a date. we have to pretend. all right? >> right.

as long as you keep it on that basis. [laughter] >> what makes you think it could be anything else? >> well. [laughter] [laughter] [laughter] [applause] carol: i am really proud of the first five seasons of my show. and i am really happy to have a chance to share them with you. >> i have never seen anyone on tv quite like carol burnett. >> she does it all. sings, acts, dances, she is hilarious and beautiful.

>> she made it look like it is absolutely effortless. >> here we go! announcer: introducing the carol burnett show, the lost episodes. a brand-new collection from time life. >> it's lovely. may i see it? >> what? ♪ announcer: 21 incredible episodes on eight dvd's that are truly straight from the vault. >> those of you who doubt, can you believe it now? announcer: you may think you have seen the carol burnett show. >> i have nothing to hide. [laughter] announcer: you may think you own the complete carol burnett show on dvd. >> any other gifts? announcer: but you don't have these lost episodes. >> where are you? [laughter] announcer: now, from the first time, they are all here in one exclusive collection. >> you heard it here first. [laughter] announcer: all the fabulous firsts. carol: welcome to our first show. i am really excited and very happy you are all with us. we have a nice, full group. can you bump up the lights so i can see?

oh! gorgeous. announcer: all the hilarious crack-ups. >> where is he? >> he is right -- ♪ >> oh. [laughter] [laughter] [laughter] [laughter] [laughter]

[laughter] [applause] announcer: and long-lost performances by entertainment legends lucille ball, bob newhart, don rickles, and more. these are the funniest, most dazzling, most memorable moments from the greatest variety show of all time. >> ♪ i didn't know just what life was like, but now i think i do ♪ ♪ as my belated gift, i give the angel child to you ♪ ♪ happy birthday nancy bubbles, happy birthday to you ♪ announcer: and you'll get to see them first. >> ♪ but i couldn't ♪ >> ♪ what is the matter? are you choosey? ♪ announcer: so call or go online to order the lost episodes for five payments of $19.99.

>> no, no. no, no. announcer: you will get 21 uncut, original shows that haven't been seen since they first aired. >> i am really quite pleased with what we have done today, aren't you? >> oh yes. [laughter] >> you know, marion, i have never painted anyone in the nude before. >> really? >> no, usually i keep my clothes on. [laughter] announcer: plus, we will send you two dvd's packed with bonus and brand-new exclusive bonus features. you will go on a backstage tour with the original cast. >> this is the first time i have ever been in this building. >> stop it. announcer: see brand-new interviews. >> when i look back at my very first memories of watching "carol burnett", it was with my dad watching it and laughing his butt off. i have vague memories of him laughing so hard and me wanting to do whatever that was to make him laugh. announcer: featurettes.

>> ♪ you don't have to say you love me, just be close at hand ♪ >> not a good idea for a number. announcer: bloopers. >> just a week ago, she was with us, singing and laughing. she's still laughing. [laughter] >> but now, she's gone. [laughter] announcer: and rare gems from carol's early days. >> are you still in the entertainment field? [laughter] announcer: and that's not all. call in the next 15 minutes and you will receive a special holiday gift from carol to you. >> are you going to wear that christmas present i got you? announcer: this free dvd features three of carol's hilarious -- >> don't forget to use your official carol burnett toothbrush. announcer: heartwarming -- carol: this is our christmas show. announcer: never before released christmas show. >> that is the stuff that makes me go ho ho ho. announcer: and that is not all. you will receive a collectible guestbook with personal notes

from carol's famous friends and fans. bill: i just wrote in the guestbook, "marry me." but, you know, you don't have to. announcer: and we are so convinced you fall in love with the lost episodes, that we will ship it for free. your satisfaction is guaranteed. if you don't absolutely love the lost episodes, we will refund your purchase price, no questions asked. but wait, there's more. call or visit our website for an amazing offer from carol and time life. carol herself will sign a limited number of the lost episode collections made out to anyone you choose, but you will have to act fast. these vip editions are one-of-a-kind collector's items, and when they are gone, they are gone. carol: i look forward to signing a collection for you soon. announcer: "the carol burnett show: the lost episodes" is an incredible value. >> brace yourself. [laughter]

announcer: 21 star-studded episodes, hours of brand-new exclusive extras, plus three free christmas episodes, plus the collectible guestbook, all for five payments of $19.99. >> these hands were meant to hold charge cards. look at that. perfect. perfect. announcer: and we will ship it for free. you can only find the lost episodes here, with this exclusive tv offer. carol: just in time for the holidays. announcer: order now. >> carol burnett show promo show 21, take one. carol: hi there, i'm carol burnett. in addition to regulars harvey corman and others, my guest will be the fabulous, fabulous [stuttering] dionne warwick and jonathan winter. [laughter] carol: each time, i get goosebumps when i come back to this stage because of the wonderful memories. [laughter] [applause] [laughter]

carol: why, it's canoga falls' most lovable buttinski. come in, mother marcus. >> hello, mary. carol: this was my dressing room, and right out here was where the cue card guys were. >> ♪ you must have played a hundred parts in pictures ♪ ♪ from clean-cut college kids to dirty rats ♪ ♪ i loved you in them all, but the one thing i recall -- ♪ [laughs]

[laughter] [applause] carol: i saw him running, because he wasn't there with the cards. and he finally got there. that's terrific. [laughs] oh, that's funny. queen latifah: one of my favorite things to watch about the show was when they would break character. >> we are going to have a shoot off? >> a shoot off? >> a shoot off? >> a shoot off? >> a shoot off? [laughter] >> i can't leave a job half-finished? >> no, sir. >> who said i can't leave a job half-finished? >> i said. >> who are you? >> my husband! >> right! [laughter] >> how many passes have you made at a bull? >> oh, i have made a few, but it is kind of silly. you know, so you get a date with one. where are you going to take him? [laughter] [laughter]

[laughter] >> it tickles. steve: i can only imagine being there felt like a party. ♪ [laughter] >> ♪ i think i love you >> ♪ i think i love you ♪ or maybe you will put >> ♪ or maybe you will put me in a sweat ♪ ♪ or maybe it is something i am ♪ [laughter] julie: oh my god, i would have never dared to do anything like that. she just went all out. alan: tim conway has the ability to crack you up. just looking at you.

burt: such a riot to do that show. and it was the most fun i have ever had on stage. >> hello, lost and found? i would like to report a loss. announcer: introducing "the carol burnett show: the lost episodes." a brand-new collection exclusively from time life. >> i think i am going to make the jolly green giant say ho, ho, ho. announcer: 21 incredible episodes on eight dvd's that are truly straight from the vault. >> my blood pressure just went up. announcer: you may think you have seen "the carol burnett show." >> zip a dee doo dah. announcer: you may think you own the complete show on dvd, but you don't have these lost episodes. >> and now, the moment the entire universe has been waiting for. announcer: now, for the first time, they are all here in one exclusive collection. >> simpson? >> yes? >> have you started on -- [laughter]

announcer: all the fabulous firsts. >> here are all the sports scores. 2-1, 3-5, and 8-2. [laughter] >> the 8-2 is a final. announcer: all the hilarious crack-ups. >> father, you've got to hide me. you've got to hide me, father. >> this is the police. come out, fingers. we know you are in there. >> what'd i tell you? father, it's them. father, you've got to hide me. you've got to hide me. [laughter] [knocking on door] >> we've got to get a new parish, father. >> let's pray for it. announcer: and long-lost performances by entertainment legends bob hope, sonny and cher, bing crosby, and more. >> yeah, she did it. yeah, honey, she did it. announcer: these are the funniest, most dazzling, most memorable moments from the greatest variety show of all

time. >> ♪ happy when you are near me ♪ >> ♪ happy when you hear me announcer: and you get to see them first. >> ♪ happy all the time >> ♪ that's what i am! ♪ >> i'll make a phone call if you don't mind. announcer: so call or order online to get the lost episodes for five payments of $19.99. >> wonderful. announcer: you will get 21 uncut, original shows that have not been seen since they first aired. >> oh my. announcer: plus, we will send you two dvd's pact with brand-new and pact with exclusive bonus features. carol: my god, the memories. announcer: you will go on a backstage tour with the original cast. carol: if you wanted to see what cher was wearing on any given night, i said, oh my god, you've got to see cher's gown. here's where we'd go. announcer: brand-new interviews and featurettes. >> carol was doing her tarzan. announcer: featurettes. jim: i always knew i could be elevated by the skill, the talent, the inventiveness, the originality of the people on the show.

announcer: never before seen bloopers. [laughter] announcer: and rare gems from carol's early days. ♪ announcer: plus, call in the next 12 minutes, and you will receive a free special holiday gift from carol to you. >> i have got something for you. announcer: this free dvd features three of carol's hilarious -- >> santa, where are you? >> hey, there. announcer: heartwarming -- >> i have asked jerry to do my favorite christmas come. announcer: never before released christmas shows. >> happy new year. >> not yet. announcer: and that's not all. you will also receive a collectible guest book with personal notes from carol's famous friends and fans. >> i adore you. announcer: and we are so convinced you will fall in love with the lost episodes, that we will ship it for free.

>> i love it. love it. announcer: your satisfaction is guaranteed. if you don't absolutely love the lost episodes, we will refund your purchase price, no questions asked. "the carol burnett show: the lost episodes" is an incredible value. >> you can say that again. announcer: 21 star-studded episodes, hours of brand-new, exclusive extras, plus three free christmas episodes and the collectible guestbook all for just five payments of $19.99. and, we will ship it for free. >> no kidding? >> yeah. announcer: you can only find the lost episodes here with this exclusive tv offer. carol: just in time for the holidays. announcer: order now. carol: hi there, i'm carol burnett. in addition to our regular gang, harvey, lyle, and vicki, my guest this week is betty grable and my poison, martha reynolds.

[laughter] carol: i knew i would say that. my "paisan." this is a room where during the show, the writers and the producers would sit and watch the show on the monitor and take notes. especially the first show, the dress rehearsal. and then we would get our notes and improve, we would hope, for the second show at 8:00. >> tell me everything that happened. >> [stuttering] [laughter] >> you went to the bank? >> [stuttering] >> you took the papers out of the vault? carol: hello. >> hello. carol: arnie, and buzz, and dale, and kenny. i'm really glad we are all here to talk about the lost episodes. these are some of our top writers that we had. >> you, liebchen? what is your name? >> see these pans? >> let's help little phoebe pans out. that was funny, though. [laughter]

>> what did you say your name was again? >> ethel. ethel mermaid. >> i am just a gorgeous flamenco dancer at the local cantina. but one who has seen you many times and always admired your bravery. >> i have seen you many times also, senorita. i've always admired your castanets. >> that poor young boy hasn't walked in a year. >> a week. a week. did you hear that? a week with a shattered leg? >> a sprained ankle. >> a sprained ankle. >> phoebe. >> don't phoebe me-be. i have got a son inside of me, and it is going to come out. >> ♪ i'm with you baby, i'm with you ♪ ♪ for me, for me, baby, come out ♪

♪ >> she is so charming, and genuine, and sweet, and very american. it was a very american show. >> ♪ i carry a flag of red, white, and blue. ♪ ♪ i carry a flag of red, white, and blue ♪ >> that absolutely did it. i am leaving this house, and i am not coming back until the end of the football season. [door slams] in case you missed it, here is the instant replay. [laughter] [applause] >> it was the best show, variety

show i think that was ever on the air. >> i can't tell you enough about carol burnett and her generosity. julie: she's got this quality about her that is adorable. >> when i drove up here, something jumped out of the bushes and started chasing my carriage and snapping at my wheels. >> snapping? >> yes. [laughter] announcer: introducing "the carol burnett show: the lost episodes," a brand-new collection exclusively from time life. >> what you're about to see will absolutely amaze you. ♪ announcer: 21 incredible episodes on eight dvd's that are truly straight from the vaults. >> this is real hard stuff. [laughter] announcer: you may think you've seen "the carol burnett show." >> oh, boy, oh boy, oh boy. announcer: you may think you own the complete "carol burnett show" on dvd. >> the last time you were with a tri -- tri -- tri -- tri -- you see what happens? you got me so upset, my gums locked. announcer: but you don't have these lost episodes.

>> i came back. i came back. announcer: now, for the first time, they are all here in one exclusive collection. all the fabulous firsts. >> i am sending you away to sun city. [laughter] announcer: all the hilarious crack-ups. >> so do you know where that roller is that we had? [laughter] >> i think i -- [laughter] [applause] >> you are going to love living in this building. the neighbors are so helpful. [laughter] announcer: and long-lost performances by entertainment legends joan rivers, jonathan winter, phyllis diller, and more. >> you are the girl i met and fell in love with last night. >> [shrieking] that's right. announcer: these are the funniest, most dazzling, most memorable moments from the greatest variety show of all

time. and you will get to see them first. so call or go online to order "the lost episodes" for five payments of $19.99. >> this is so exciting. announcer: you will get 21 uncut, original shows that haven't been seen since they first aired. >> i am torn between good and evil. [laughter] should i choose this young and innocent maiden and a lifetime of sweet matrimony? [applause] or shall i throw away my life for one hour of mad passion? [audience booing] sweetheart? >> yes? >> i will be back in an hour. [laughter] announcer: plus, we will send you two dvd's packed with brand-new and exclusive bonus features. you will go on a backstage tour

with the cast. >> this was my dressing room. it has been redecorated a lot. announcer: see brand-new interviews. >> i loved her so much. i was such a fan. announcer: featurettes. >> what would julie andrews do in a spot like this? [laughter] julie: unabashed, unashamedly fun. >> i bet she would sing. hit it. announcer: never before seen bloopers. [laughter] announcer: and rare gems from carol's early days. >> ♪ i've always been shy ♪ announcer: but call in the next three minutes, and you will receive a free special holiday gift from carol to you. >> gather around kids and get real close to the set. announcer: this free dvd features three of carol's hilarious -- >> merry christmas. announcer: heartwarming, never before released christmas shows. >> how about that? isn't that groovy? announcer: and that's not all.

you will also receive a collectible guest book with personal notes from carol's famous friends and fans. jack: i don't go anywhere without your picture in my back pocket. announcer: and we are so convinced you will fall in love with "the lost episodes," that we will ship it for free. your satisfaction is guaranteed. if you don't absolutely love "the lost episodes," we will refund your purchase price, no questions asked. but wait, there's more. call or visit our website for an amazing offer from carol and time life. carol herself will sign a limited number of the lost episode collections made out to anyone you choose. but you will have to act fast. these vip editions are one-of-a-kind collector's items, and when they are gone, they are gone. carol: i look forward to signing a collection for you soon. announcer: "the carol burnett show: the lost episodes" is an incredible value. >> [shrieking] goll-y!

announcer: 21 star-studded episodes, hours of brand-new exclusive extras, plus three free christmas episodes and the collectible guestbook, all for just five payments of $19.99. and we will ship it for free. >> that is a good idea. announcer: you can only find the lost episodes here, with this exclusive tv offer. >> just in time for the holidays. announcer: order now. burt: ♪ i'm so glad we had this time together ♪ carol: ♪ just to have a laugh or sing a song ♪ burt: ♪ seems we just got started, and before you know it ♪ carol: ♪ comes the time we have to say so long ♪ seeing all these episodes after so many years is such a thrill, and there are so many more. so pull up a chair and let's enjoy these classic long-lost shows together. ♪ announcer: the preceding has been a paid advertisement time life's video collection.

announcer: the preceding was a paid program. the opinions and views expressed do not reflect those of bloomberg lp, its affiliates, or its employees. ♪

announcer: the following is a paid program. notopinions expressed is expressed those of bloomberg lp or its employees. announcer: the following is a paid advertisement for time life's video collection. [doorbell rings] ? >> hi, dean. >> hey, hi there. [laughter] >> bob. [laughter] announcer: from the battlefield, to the white house. from hollywood to the heartland. america's entertainer was bob hope. [applause] bob: oh, this room is so dull and depressing tonight.