education system. >> if they're able to bring their creativity up to a level close to america they are going to dominate the world. >> only time will tell who's raising the next winning generation. but one thing is for sure, the winners will speak english, whether the knicks bill gates dreams up his invention in shanghai or not. competition between the u.s. and china is a big issue. let us know what you think about tiger moms, american or chinese. "306" starts right now. welcome to this anderson cooper special. "bullying" it stops here. we've come here, all of us, drawn together by the power of absence. the absence of kids. of young adults, of future parents and friends, healers and leaders. none of whom will ever be, all of whom have left us because as young adults or as children they

were bullied beyond their capacity to endure. they are the reason we're here. we owe them and we owe them more than talk. in the years since a wave of bullying suicides struck the country and got worldwide attention there's been too much talk and not enough action. a year ago, rutgers freshman, the young man right there, his life was thrown on to the internet it was more than he could bear. he went to the george washington bridge and took his own life. almost a year to the day from tyler's suicide, jamie lost his battle with the bull list. he took a part in the "it gets better" campaign on line but one night he lost the hope. the bullying outlived him. his sister and friends were taunted the night of his wake at school. we've come to know jamie and tyler this past year just as we came to know so many children. these are the faces of other students, other students who have taken their own lives after being bullied. the bullying happens every day

in school and online. sometimes we don't know about it. sometimes we just hear stories about it and sometimes, it is even caught on tape. watch. >> get your ass off my book bag. >> okay move, move sclam. >> i'll beat your ass. >> what? no, ow -- why are you stabbing me with that? >> give it to him, hard! >> you heard the other kid saying, give it to him, hard. that's alex.

some of the abuse that he endured every day from a remarkable documentary called "the bully project." we'll show you more on tonight's program. the reason we're gathered here is to make sure alex' story and all the other kids' stories of bullies don't just get handed down through generations of bullies and victims and hurt and also. we want to say and say out loud, the bullying stops here. we want solutions and tonight, we hope to begin to find them. dr. phil mcgraw is with us and so is bullying expert, rosalind wiseman. parents and members of the rutgers community. my friends, kelly ripa is here, and like any mop mom with three kids, she worried about jane lynche, raising daughters with her wivable with will be here. the issue came to the country's attention and i'll bring in phil mcgraw and rosalind wiseman. phil, what kind of grade would you give in terms of progress that's been made this year on the issue. >> i would give a high grade as

far as intention to both legislators and administrators and teachers. the teachers are the heroes. they work for very little money and they're very dedicated but i would give us a very low grade for execution. low grade for what we've accomplished and i'll tell you, anderson, it's because we're going at this from the wrong point of view. we're dealing with this with bullies as criminals. and then they're victims. and we can't see them in that way. there's got to be intervention with both. it's not just ''that. they both need help and skills and only things they can get if we don't put it in the curriculum and we need money behind it to make it part of the curriculum and make it as much a part of the student's day as we do history, math and science. >> rosalind, what kind of grade would you give? >> about a c minus for many of

the reasons dr. phil spoke of. it's so punitive. it doesn't understand the complexesities of tissue. we have good people intending to do well reacting to anxiety and are not thinking through how it impacts a school. but what i -- who i do give an a to are the kids and the young people who are making videos and songs and music videos, that's authentic to their life experience and sharing with other people. >> i don't give the kids an a? >> you're disagreeing with me? >> i give the kids, do what you say. the ones on youtube reaching out for their own experience. what i don't give an a to are the kids on the bus that sat there and watched that happen and they're just as guilty as the kids doing it. >> we conduct aid study and we'll show you the results throughout the hour. more than 75% of the cases, i think it was, kids don't intervene. nobody intervenes and we're going to look at the importance

of intervention. when i first started to try to understand the bullying issues i saw bullies and victims but after researching this and talking to experts, what i realize now is it's far more complex. we decided to team up with socialologyi socialologyists. we launched and in depth investigation at a wheatly school on new york's long island. we wanted to look at how this problem plays out in one school. and what's really interesting is in doing this study, the socialologyist believes we've uncovered some larger truths about schools and bullying nationwide. take a look. >> they're calling it like, gay, faggot, dumb ass. >> you're a shut, you're fat, you're disgusting. >> like a lot of schools in america, wheatly school has a bullying problem. >> they physically abused me. mentally abused me. emotionally abused me and aisle

admit it i had thoughts of suicide in ninth grade. >> more than 700 students at wheatly were asked very specific questions about aggression like -- does a student at your school pick on you or do something mean to you. did you pick on or do something mean to another student at your school? the results were eye-opening. a key finding, bullying, what researchers call aggressors, are also often victims. >> do you think somebody is an agres or a victim? or do you think it crosses over. >> everyone is a bully and everyone's a victim. >> everyone's a bully? >> you've bullied. i've bullied. whether you know it or not you've bullied someone. >> the study also shows why kids bully. socialologyist robert pharris calls it social combat using aggressiving with bullying behavior to climb the social hadder. >> it's pretty much a "race to the top." by getting to the top you view yourself as one of the important people of your school and that is the reason why bullying

occurs. >> the study found the higher they get, the more aggressive and victimized they become. 56% of wheatly students surveyed said they were involved in either aggression, victimization or both. and over 80% of incidents were never reported to adults. and joining us now are two teen fras wheatley. you heard from bridget. 5% of victims and top 20% of aggressors. surprised to hear that. and josh, top 5% of victims and 5 percent of aggressors. and we're joined by the study's author. robert and kelly ripa is also in the audience. bridget, you say everyone is a bully or a victim at one time or another. what do you mean? >> the obvious bully that picks on someone else. and is like that video showed, there can be a physical bully. there can be an emotional blil that attacks whether it's behind

a computer or just youtube, it doesn't always have to be like -- i'm going to punch you in the face or something like that. threatening is bullying. and you can bully yours u.s. >> it'ses no going to go away. >> it stays with you. >> it's interesting, bob, to me the study was really eye-opening and we picked wheatley because it takes this problem seriously but the results are similar to schools around the country that you studied. the idea of social combat i find fascinating. >> one thing we found is that there's really two types of patterns going on. one is where you know, maybe a vulnerable kid who's a little different in some way, kind of violated in some of the unwritten codes of social life in a school is getting piled on and picked on relentlessly in a chronic fashion. but then there's this whole other sort of hidden -- and actually more common form of aggression where kids are using it a little more tactically to

climb these social hierarchies and that's much more prevalent in all the schools we've seen and it seems to peak in the middle to upper ranges of the status hierarchy. >> and josh you had two friends that turned on you to try to advance themselves. what happened? >> as their life went on they felt like, oh, we can make new friends. be cooler, go to parties every 23r friday or saturday night but this kid, he's a nerd. one day you're like close buddies hanging out and the second day they're treating you like trash. >> do you think you're both a victim and an aggressor? you scored the same on both. >> i could see the victim part. i went through a lot with that. but the aggressive part i don't really see because i'm pretty quiet in school. >> do you find it interesting? a lot of kids didn't see themselves as aggressors. >> they may not realize that they have done something that was interpreted add mean to a

peer. kids may not always be aware of it. >> kelly, the idea of social combat, that was an eye-opening phrase. >> i think it makes a lot of sense because nobody wants to be the kid that is suddenly turned on, i think, you know. if you are sort of a swept up in the group and you see a good friend who is at the top of the social food chain, say, and suddenly the tables have turned and suddenly this sort of popular kid has become the victim in an attempt to take over the social hierarchy. i don't think there will be a lot of interference because nobody wants to be the person that's suddenly turneden. >> does the idea of social combat ring true to you? >> i've been writing about it for 20 years. teachers, administrators and parents look at it and say, that's the way human beings are. and the thing we have to consistently say to people is -- degrading people is never right. and it always comes down to what you're being degraded by race,

you're being degraded by social aye economic class. not having as much money as someone else. your sexual orientation or perceived sexual orientation, it always comes down to that. >> and dr. phil it is so different. adults that say -- this has always been around and that's true but now, online, it's not just in schools anymore. it's 24 hours a day. >> and the problem with this and you were talking about the impact of bullying after the fact, what happens is that the victim takes over for the bully when the bully leaves. bully leaves but the victim repeats it in their head over and over and over, this internal dialogue where they repeat and even enhance and embellish what the bully said and therefore, embrace it from the inside out. >> you had a accounts and time and time again i'm hearing kids talk about it and people can anonymously say things and people would say horrible things to you? but you kept it because -- why

did you keep the account? >> because they were not all negative. i did get a few nice ones. >> that was enough to make you want to keep it? >> i also like to respond to the bad ones. i did respond. if you're just like, all right, i see what you're spending your time doing -- >> plus you want to take the temperature and see if they're still on you or not and see if there were 100 last night and 08 tonight, it's better. >> i used to get seven in one hour, seven in a week. i can get one -- >> didn't it feel fliek you didn't respond you were weak. you couldn't let it pass? >> yes. and sometimes they would write back and say, oh, look at you not writing back. >> more startling research from the study on bullying. and we'll talk with the principal of wheatley. and minnesota's school district, the teachers are barred from talking about homosexualality. they say this creates a toxic

environment when they are harassed routinely. >> you get involved and you feellike they think you're a piece of garbage that they can throw away. >> "bullying:it stops here" we'll be back in a minute. [ siren ] [ applause ] [ jackhammer ] [ crowd cheering ] [ speeding car ] [ siren ] [ horse whinnying ] [ bell dings ] your true self -- uncover it, embrace it, protect it. what's healthier than that?

is best absorbed in small continuous amounts. only one calcium supplement does that in one daily dose. citracal slow release... continuously releases calcium plus d for the efficient absorption my body needs. citracal. [ woman on r♪ bum-bum,stinct ] my bum-bum, bum-bum ♪ ♪ bum-bum - ♪ ai, ai, ai - ♪ bum-bum - ♪ bum-bum, bum-bum - ♪ [ ice rattles rhythmically ] ♪ bum-bum, bum-bum, bum-bum ♪ ♪ [ imitates guitar noise ] ♪ [ vocalizing up-tempo heavy metal song ] ♪ [ vocalizing continues ] ♪ [ all singing ] from honda. ♪ ♪

♪ when your chain of supply ♪ goes from here to shanghai, that's logistics. ♪ ♪ chips from here, boards from there ♪ ♪ track it all through the air, that's logistics. ♪ ♪ clearing customs like that ♪ hurry up no time flat that's logistics. ♪ ♪ all new technology ups brings to me, ♪ ♪ that's logistics. ♪

welcome back to "bullying:it stops here." before the break we discovered that high schools are social battlefields with students fighting for supremacy to rise on the social ladder students you aggression or bullying to imtheir position. but the good news, the study shows more often than not it doesn't work to really improve your social standing long term. the other key is we're learning about the importance of kids intervening to help other kids. dr. phil talked about this earlier. in 77% of aggressive incidents, no bystanders intervened. 77%, and that has to change. joining the conversation is

jacob, at wheatley student. he caught our eye because the study ranked him as one of the students that most often tries to stop bullying in his high school. and shaun feeney, wheatley's principal. first of all, principal, it is, i think, incredibly brave of you to allow us to do the study in your school and i want to stress that your school takes this problem very seriously and it's one of the top ranked schools in the country. were you surprised by some of the results? >> i was surprised somewhat. i have worked in a number of different schools in a number of different social and cultural context overseas and in the city, and what i found in my experience with kids is that kids are kids are kids are kids. and unfortunately, these dynamics occur in all places. that's not to excuse it or tolerate it. but you can't be a high school principal and not acknowledge and recognize problems such as

drugs, alcohol, sex and bullying. these are all issues, many of which are tied into the issue of self-esteem and sense of self which is something that's developing in high school kids. >> bob, you talk about the power of bystanders to actually stop this. >> bystanders, form the majority of a school and they have -- they're the ones who allocate status. collectively. they decide who's cool and who's not. they have this sort of power to step in and change the culture of the school and intervene in specific situations. >> and that's a hopeful thing because if you can get the norm being kids intervening, that can change that dynamic of bully something. >> absolutely. but they have to have the faith and trust that their teachers and administrator also do right by them. and so what i want to applaud is you saying -- this is a problem that happens. the more information that i can get about this problem, like doing this evaluation, helps me do right by my kids. that's the kind of principal we

have to have. >> jacob, you're one of the top interveners in the school. why do you think that is? what is it about bullying that you've seen that makes you want to intervene? >> well, i believe that no one deserves to feel bad about themselves or have other people view bad of them, so if you have the opportunity to make someone feel better about themselves or prevent it from happening then i believe you should take it. >> does you were one of the top interveners? >> no, i didn't. >> you must have been incredibly relieved. you open up the study and you're like, yay, i'm the intervener, that's good. how do you, principal, how do you get kids -- more interveners? how do you build that number? >> the power of the intervener was very exciting to me because this study in the research clearly showed that if you are friends with someone who is an intervener you're more likely to intervene the next time. so this sense of cultural norms

which i think you spoke of earlier, the renormalizing the culture, you can change. and the key is from students. >> and i was interested in your study to see that bullying doesn't work. as a strategy long term, to get to the top of the social hierarchy, it's nonsustainable and it doesn't really work? >> on average it doesn't? >> it works in the moment. it just doesn't work long term. immediate gratification is there and that's the most powerful reward a kid can have is immediate gratification but it doesn't work long term, right? >> there's exceptions. it depends when they're picking on. i don't want to get into details on how bull list can be successful but there are some exceptions. but that's the great irony. it's not working and actually, even more surprising is that it increases the anxiety and the depression that the bullies themselves. it increases their anxiety levels and their depression

levels and i think they end up hating themselves on some level. >> why do you think by and large, it does not work as a strategy gore getting to the top of the heap. >> if your goal is to climb to the top of the hierarchy, excel in something. there's a lot better ways that are expected and admired. play the flute. >> that will do it. >> the old play the flute. >> but there's a lot of better ways. >> you were in the band, weren't you? >> there's a lot of better ways to do it and i don't think kids are fooled. they're not overly impressed. >> they don't trust the bully so they stay away from them. >> do you think that's true? >> absolutely. you watch kids go through the process and they realize that they are like paranoid about having to re-affirm their power position so they're never sure who they're friends are and if they'll really back them up or if they back them up it's because they fear them so

loyalty becomes that you're backing up somebody because they're doing something unethical but loyal did is not speaking truth to power and friendship is really speaking truth to power. >> kids are getting caught up in the status games and what they should be doing is focusing on coming out of high school with a handful of good friends. having good friendships is really protective. it helps kids heal. >> we got to take a break. an up-close look at one school system where seven kids have taken their own lives. is the school of nis not discussing sexuality part of the problem? they're facing a lawsuit rite now. we'll talk to students up ahead. >> they would call me tag and gross and tell me i'm going to hell and stuff and it makes you feel like you're the grossest person in the world. guinea pig: row...row.took one, 8 months to get the guin: ..row. lile cbby one to yell row!

guineaig: ro's kof strange. guinig: row...row. such a simple word... row. anncr: t an easierayof strange. save. get online. go to geico.com. get a quote. e u 15% or more on car insurance. dangerous plaque that can build up in arteries over time... high cholesterol is a major factor. but these other health factors can also contribute to plaque buildup. so if you have high cholesterol and any of these other health factors... it's even more important

to get your cholesterol where your doctor wants. talk to your doctor about crestor. when diet and exercise alone aren't enough... adding crestor can lower bad cholesterol by up to 52%. and crestor is proven to slow plaque buildup in arteries. crestor is not right for everyone, like people with liver disease... or women who are nursing, pregnant, or may become pregnant. simple blood tests will check for liver problems. tell your doctor about other medicines you're taking... or if you have muscle pain or weakness. that could be a sign of serious side effects. ask your doctor about high cholesterol... plaque buildup... and if crestor is right for you. if you can't afford your medication, astrazeneca may be able to help.

>> they would taunt in the hallways. i have so much support from people i don't even know online. i know it sounds creepy but they're so nice and caring and they don't ever want me to die. >> they don't want me to die. that was jamie rodemeyer. laws differ from state to state and bullying policies differ from school to school sometimes. in minnesota's largest school district, seven students have taken their own lives in less than two years. the school district is facing a federal investigation and hey

lawsuit from two advocacy groups and several students. the allegation? pervasive anti-gay harassment. the students suing say the district's policy of barring teachers from talking about homosexuality jeopardizes their position in school. the school district, heavily conservative, declined to speak to us krooiting the ongoing litigation but they did defend the policy to cnn in april. >> all the students come with parents in this community and parents have a wide range of beliefs. we serve them all. >> that's the superintendent of the school district. with us now, four students who were fighting back. kyle, damian, brittany and dillon and 'joined lynche and son son son hosta from -- >> i had to use the bathroom and i walk in the door and these people were watching me.

they were just staring at me. i go into the stall and i hear laughing. i hear laughter. and i look up and i have something dripping down my head and someone was peeing on me. >> how often does this happen? >> almost every day. >> damian, you're straight but yoir two dads are gay and you're on the gymnastics team. what do people say to you? >> gay, faggot, gay boy. >> brittany? >> they call dike. [ bleep ]. and even words i'm ashamed to say. >> if you go to a counselor in your school, brittany, what do they tell you? what do they say to you? >> they tell me not to use that

language. that's not appropriate. and -- >> but you're not the one using the language? >> yeah. i explained to them what they would say and how they said it but they would tell me not to talk that way and not use that language or just for the better, ignore him or walk away like it didn't bother you because if you act like it doesn't bother you it will stop, but it never did. >> you've been taken out and you're being home schooled. did you just not feel safe in school? >> kids made me feel like i was the grossest person in the world and they would just go against walls and say, here comes the he/she. or here comes the trash. and they made me feel gross and i didn't feel safe at school so i just left. >> damian, if -- i know you had an incident where someone called you the "n" word. did teachers do something about that? >> yeah. they were more -- they would take care of it faster than they would have if someone called me

gay or faggot. >> so if someone uses a racial slur, teachers respond, you're say something. >> yeah, right away. >> but if someone calls you the "f" world what would they say? >> they would shrug it off and tell me what brittany said. >> as a parent, anderson, i am stuing with rage. i just feel so angry and so upset for the four of you and your class experience and it seems to me that this is all back warz pin stead of taking it up with the kids that are tormenting daily and using the abusive language and being abusive to the students, this young man can't even go to school anymore. he shouldn't be the one having to stay home. the bullies and the aggressors should be the ones to made to stay home or be expelled. i want you to know that people do care about you. i care about you and i really feel touched for your

experience. really. >> jane, you and your wife are raising a daughter. when you hear these kids what goes through your mind? >> you know, these kids do need to know that they are loved and that it's really, really sad that they don't have an advocate and i think this neutrality policy is abdicating their adult responsibility and it makes me really sad. >> sonny, the 'school district is facing a federal investigation and a lawsuit. what could happen? is this criminal? >> certainly. a lot of this behavior is protected by federal law. these are civil rights' violations and i think that's what the problem is here. these children aren't allowed to be they were authentic selves and our laws have to protect that. don't we want our children to grow and be their authentic several selves. i think the law should be here to protect the most vulnerable in our society.

>> rosalyn, the idea of being neutral policy, a policy where you do not yoouz specific words, does that work as an antibullying policy? >> no. it plays right into the bully's hands because it stops well-meaning people from being able to speak out and it makes these children feel they have no recourse and i really want to go back to what the superintendent said when he said we have a va rooibity of beliefs here and we need to address all those beliefs. the single belief that a superintendent of a school should be focused on is the health and dignity of the children. that is it. >> do you think it would make a difference if you could talk to teachers and talk to counselors? do you think it would make a difference in your lives? >> yeah, i do. >> how so? >> i think if people understood what we were going through that maybe, just maybe they'd understand and if they would just listen to us speak and

actually, meet us before they jump to conclusions, maybe this wouldn't happen. you know, i have prayed every day that i didn't have to go back to school. and i go -- >> you pray every day you don't have to go back? >> yeah. i would hide under the seats of the bus and -- >> under the seats? >> i would. >> i understand at one point, how many kids does who were bullying you. >> 40. >> 40 kids? >> yes. >> you can identify 40 kids? >> yeah. >> i want to thank you kids for your courage and strength. i think you're so impressive and so brave and i think you have tremendous courage. thank you. i appreciate it. coming up, we'll show you what happened to this little boy, alex, after the bullying that happened to him was caught on camera. before we go, i met kyle yesterday and all the kids

yesterday and kyle loves lady gaga. >> she's amazing. >> but yesterday when i interviewed kyle and i was talking to him and he said, is there anything else you'd like so a and he said, i want to sing a song and he said that to me today when he sat down he said, i can sing? so kyle is going to sing his favorite song. ♪ hold your head up and you'll go far ♪ ♪ listen to me when i say ♪ how beautiful you are because god makes no mistakes ♪ ♪ on the right track, baby i was born this way ♪ ♪ don't feel regret just love yourself and snaets and you'll stay on the right traek ♪ ♪ baby, i was born this way

[ cheers and applause ] dayquil doesn't treat that. really? [ male announcer ] alka-seltzer plus fights your worst cold symptoms, plus it relieves your runny nose. [ deep breath] awesome. [ male announcer ] yes, it is. that's the cold truth! for a free home loan review, we'll offer them a free android smartphone. but how are you gonna get these phones to our clients coast to coast? it's gonna take a little magic. i'm on it. straight from motown to you, america! yes! helping people coast to coast. give me that spartan touch. [ male announcer ] call today for a free home loan review. we'll offer a free android smartphone to you! one more way quicken loans is engineered to amaze.

we'll offer a free android smartphone to you! [ bedistracted driving. ♪ [ disco ] it accounts for 25% of car crashes. and it's why the best agents help safe drivers get a lower rate. - exactly. - oh! [ announcer ] we are insurance. ♪ we are farmers bum-pa-dum, bum-bum-bum-bum ♪

welcome back to this special report "bullying:it stops here." so much bullying occurs online as well as in school and it's rare that it's caught on camera. there's an extraordinary documentary called "the bully

project" shown to the department of education and parents featured in it have met with the president and first lady and gives you a look at some of the horrors that some kids face. in is what 13-year-old alex faced on a school bus in sioux city, iowa. >> get your ass off my book bag. i'll beat your ass. >> come on, alex. >> no, no, ouch! why are you stabbing me with that? >> give it to him hard! >> joining me now is the

filmmaker and kelly ripa, jane lynche, dr. phil mcgraw and rosalind wiseman. the film is extraordinary. we've all seen i had ant you spent a year in this school. did it surprise whou what you saw and what you were able to acapture? >> it didn't surprise me and it was sort of, i think, the goal of making the film was to get out there and to show what kids go through. to show what kyle goes through. to give it something really real so that we can stop denying it so that we could stop sort of saying this is just a rite of passage. it didn't surprise me. and i think -- the scary part is it didn't surprise a lot of people. >> you were so concerned about alex, the little boy on the bus, you actually showed the footage to his mom? i want to show another clip from the film. >> dinner -- he said some boy you've gotten used to this and i'm not. i'm not used to it.

i didn't know and i'm not about to get used to it. does it make you feel good when they punch you or kick you? or stab you? do these things make you feel good? >> no. >> well, i don't know. i'm starting to think i don't feel anything anymore. >> that was the moment that i think scared me the most when he said, i don't feel anything anymore. and you see a boy who has been failed on every level. moye children were afraid of his experience on the bus. they watched it and it terrified them. it's very far away from what their sbooirns has been at school. and when he said "i don't feel anything anymore" kid also go to great lengths to feel something and i feel like something needs to intervene on his behalf in the right way. >> that's what bothers me about

this. look, these bull list have parents. where are the parents? if your child is a bully, it's your job to know your child is a bully. it's your job to know that. it's your job to intervene at that level as a parent. it's your job to talk to the school. it's your job to know what's going on. >> i talk to a lot of parents who try to intervene with the parents of bullies and the parents don't recognize it as a problem. >> a lot of times it's modeled in the home. they're aggressive behavior in the home either verbally and or physically and it becomes the norm. these kids aren't born this way. they learn this. it's a social skill deficit that they learn and their parents need to know that and intervene. >> the place where we stop it is the public forum of the school. because we can't control these homes. but we can control what happens to kids at school. and we can have -- we can push for more empathy and more

understanding. that's where we have a chance to make an impact. >> what bth they bothers me is think you can put a fence around the school. administrators say it happened off campus, it was this, it was that. you have to take down the fences and boundaries. we're responsibility adults. we know this is going on we need to caucus and talk to the parents and have a discussion about this. and not to come in and put the bully under the jail. you're not going to punish this out of the bully. that young man that was doing that on the bus, that bully, to me, that's a tormented child. the bully. there's something going on. >> when we went home for dinner that night and his mom said, how was your day? what did you do today? and he didn't say i tormented this little boy alex. i pinched him and i strangled him and i told him i was going to stab him. he said "i was fine." >> jooiane, do you agree with -

that the school is the place to address it? at least it's the most obvious place to or not that it's easy but the easiest place to address it? >> i think changing the hearts and minds of people is almost a fruitless enterprise. i think you have to institute it in the schools. and there has to be real -- there has to be real consequences for the kids who bully. these kids are not shot out of a vacuum. they come from a home that instills certain values and certain behaviors and there's really nothing we can do about it but at our schools and at the legislature level we can do something about protecting these kids. >> jane, you said it does have to happen at school but here's the point. if that's going to happen, then we have to teach the teachers what to do. these teachers don't know what to do. they haven't -- nobody has sat down and given them courses and life skills and intervention with these kids and teaching empathy. we can't ask them to do it if we don't teach them what to do and we don't fund it so it can

become part of the curriculum. >> i think that's an excellent point. we do need to help with professional development. not just teachers but administrators, cafeteria folks, bus drivers, all the support personnel. you hear this when administrators, teachers watch our film they'll say, like, i don't have the tools. >> we got to take break. we'll be right back with the panel. e

[ tires squeal ] an accident doesn't have to slow you down. with better car replacement, available only from liberty mutual insurance, if your car's totaled, we give you the money to buy a car that's one model-year newer

with 15,000 fewer miles on it. there's no other auto insurance product like it. better car replacement, available only from liberty mutual. it's a better policy that gets you a better car. call... or visit one of our local offices today, and we'll provide the coverage you need at the right price. liberty mutual auto insurance -- responsibility. what's your policy?

welcome back with our panel. >> you captured a moment for me in the until film that will stay with me everywhere. the two boys come in from recess. one is distraught and one is chasing him and she slows them down and says -- what's going on. >> he's offering his hand and let this drop. you may go. cole, i expected more. >> he does this every single day. >> then why are you around him? >> i don't. he comes to me. i try to get away from him. he follows me and he follows me and he calls me a pu -- >> that's not right and he shouldn't do that. you know what, he was trying to say he was sorry. >> he already did and he didn't

mean it. it continued on. >> you didn't -- when you stuck out your hand you didn't mean it either. so that means you're just like him. >> i was screaming at the screen. >> you see this all the time? >> i do. i work in schools and i see it and what is so infuriating is that we often say to kids, they should trust us. they should believe in adults. and when they have adults in their life who have failed them in this way or fail the way the kids have been failed, why should children believe that we can do differently? why should they take this enormous leap of faith? and reveal this vulnerability? and all of this fear? there's two things that i talk to teachers all the time about. one is that they are at the bridge. that if they're good teachers and they are in math or french or spanish, the kids will talk

to them. the second thing teachers need to do regardless of what they teach is if kids use the word tag or retard fag or whatever. they say, if you say that word and you're saying this word to put somebody down, it's not acceptable in my classroom. are we good? we're good. it takes ten seconds and it sends a message to every single kid in the classroom what the teacher stands for. >> but they don't say it in front of the teachers as often as they say it away from the teachers and that involves the parents. everybody keeps saying the parents need to knee what their kids tell them. you're a parent it's your job to observe your child and know what they're doing. observe them when they don't think they're being observed. find out how they treat other people. i've had parents on the show that said my 5-year-old would never be aggressive with anybody else and i put him behind the mirror and let them watch and the kid is stabbing another kid with a barbie doll.

it's your job to see it. you heard that at columbine. they have an aurmory under thei bed. parents cannot just check out and say -- they didn't tell me. it's your job to find out. >> one of the things i'm hopeful for with our film and the conversation that we're having is that parents also feel more empowered to have those conversations. knot just if they're frayed their kids is a bully but if their child is being bullied. >> they need to see what you saw. >> but hopefully, the empathy to have the third conversation. to have the fourth conversation. >> it can't just bun one conversation. >> the sixth conversation. and for fathers and sons, it maybe is great advice to say, go on and deck that bully and it will stop. but when it doesn't, and it's the second and the third and the fourth conversation, you know, how are you going to be able to

talk to your son? >> i wasn't to bring in the doctor from rutgers university. it's been a year since tyler's suicide. what is the school done in the wake of that? >> rutgers has always valued the diversity of our student body and what happened with tyler was just an incredible strategy i can and a shock to us. but what we did since then is institute a few different things that are important. not only for our lbgq. they're doing things for a higher purpose. the issue of bullying and harassment has a lot to do with kids that have lost their way and so we try to find a program called "civic engagement" where our students are able to come together, working together for communities that really have a lot less than they do, and when we find we're bringing on diverse students together to do

that, it just changes the way they relate to each other. they come to different kinds of understandings of each other and that's been one of the most important things we've zmeen and we have drew here from the cartoon network and cnn has teamed up with time inc. to created a facebook app. explain what the app is. >> it's the "stop bullying, speak up" app available through facebook. it's a great platform where young adults, kids, adults, can get together and take a pledge to speak up to stop bullying and created a community where everyone can share resources so that we all can make a difference. today, 40,000 people have taken the pledge to speak up against bullying and i'm really requesting that if anyone hasn't taken the pledge to please do so and hopefully, by taking the pledge, we're all able to speak up and stop bullying. >> thanks very much. >> if you or anyone you know is

having trouble thinking about suicide or having thoughts like that, we have resources to help on the ac krchlc 365.com page. this is not just a problem for the kids who are here and for their parents, this is a problem for all of us that all of us have to solve together. so much is at stake. don't let our kids down. bullying, it can stop here. thanks for watching. 4g-- the next evolution in wireless technology. with advanced power, the verizon 4g lte network makes your business run faster: smartphones, laptops, tablets, mobile hotspots. but not all 4g is created equal. among the major carriers, only verizon's 4g network is 100% lte, the gold standard of wireless technology. and while other carriers may have limited lte coverage, verizon is the largest lte network in america

and ever-growing. with verizon 4g lte, you can invent new ways to upgrade your business using real-time group meetings from remote locations, video conferencing, mobile credit-card payments, lightning-fast downloads, and access to thousands of business apps. plus, verizon has the largest selection of 4g lte devices and the most 4g lte coverage for your business. all on america's fastest, most reliable 4g network. no wonder more businesses choose verizon wireless than any other wireless carrier. verizon. i'm not a line item on a budget. and i'm definitely not a pushover. but i am a voter. so washington... before you even think about cutting my medicare and social security benefits... here's a number you should remember. 50 million. we are 50 million seniors who earned our benefits... and you will be hearing from us... today and on election day. ♪

what's vanishing deductible all about ? guys, it's demonstration time. let's blow carl's mind. okay, let's say i'm your insurance deductible. every year you don't have an accident, $100 vanishes. the next year, another $100. where am i going, carl ? the next year... that was weird. but awesome ! ♪ nationwide is on your side