of sailors. they arrived back at norfolk after a seven month deployment. family members were right there to welcome them back all thrilled their loved ones will be home for the holidays. very nice. happy holidays to them. i'm don lemon. see you back here sunday night. thanks for watching. have a good night. tonight -- >> we're having a party, and you're invited. >> come on in. my wife shawn and i are hosting a dinner party. >> nice to see you. >> and invited some of the biggest names in hollywood. >> hi. >> we're saving a seat at the table just for you. >> i'm just wondering why we're being served by the cia. >> conan o'brien. russell brand. tyra banks. seth mcfarlane. shaquille o'neal. quincy jones. and twitter inventor jack dorsey. all opening up about life, love, success and failure.

>> the most shocking thing that anyone would hear from a table like this is there's a tendency for people to look and say they've made it. what they don't understand is the amount of insecurity that drives you when you're 15, but it's still there when you're 48. >> nothing's off limits. >> any discussion of this type always makes me kind of secretly kind of squirm. >> this is big news. i want to make sure we stick with the headline here which is that you wish to be frozen. your head. >> would you want to live forever? >> yep. >> you would? >> you bet your ass. you have never seen a dinner party quite like this. >> larry's drawers. >> russell, does anything embarrass you? >> all coming up next. >> you know what? none of this is airing. this is clearly not airing. if it's not airing, we all have to chip in for the meal. >> i think this goes on hbo. >> no. hbo would not air this. >> on this larry king special, "dinner with the kings."

shawn and i decided to bring together a group of diverse and successful people to share some food, great conversation and a few laughs. of course, it helps to have friends like wolfgang puck, celebrity chef, and his fabulous team of cooks who spent the whole day preparing an amazing meal for us to enjoy. >> for the first course a fantastic tomato salad, virgin olive oil, balsamic vinegar. next course is a wonderful sal salmon. we just got it two days ago from the river in oregon. >> and in between courses we got a chance to learn about ourselves and each other. how about success? everyone here is successful. >> conan? >> i'm still trying. i'm happy to be here and get a free meal. what is success? what is successful? these are interesting questions.

>> the first 40 years are the hardest. >> you find it difficult to deal with? some people do. >> what's that? >> success. >> oh, no. i would love to have a lot of success. i would have no problem dealing with that. >> how do you deal with it, russell? >> well, i suppose, larry, one has to look at those definitions. material success and artistic success, there are a good many people at the table that could make that claim. perhaps the pursuit of individual success is one of the problems that's causing our planet to ecologically implode currently and perhaps this imbalance, this constant service of the top 1% is causing all this conflagration. it's difficult. how i deal with my personal material success is guiltily. >> i feel like the second you feel like i'm doing great work and i feel terrific about it, then whatever you're doing has to be terrible. i hate everything i do. >> that makes two of us. >> you hate everything i do, too. >> yes, i do. seth, his work is reprehensible. we'll get to that. enjoy your meal.

i met with -- we had a group come visit the show recently of inner city kids. and they were gifted, you know, all in different ways. and they were talking about they wanted to speak with me for a little bit. and so i spoke with them at the show, and one of the girls who must have been 16, 17 years old, said to me, "how do you get over your insecurity? when does that go away?" i said, you never get over it. and she was shocked. and i said -- she's looking at me. and i've been doing this for a long time. and to her i might as well be 1,000 years old even though i'm only in my early 30s. and -- but she said, how do you get over your insecurity. and i said, it's never going to go away. if you're any good at what you do you'll always be afraid. you always think you're fooling everyone. you always think you're the one at the table -- >> not for a second do i think that ever. i'm still working on hiding my insecurity 100%. >> athletically, though, it's hard to be insecure when you're --

>> not really. i was always just taught to -- excuse me. stay humble. you know, i was -- my mother and father always told me that pressure, the real definition of pressure is when you don't know where your next meal is coming from. so, you know, we're all blessed here at the table. you know, i've always had the attitude that i'm a lucky kid. i won the lotto a couple times. don't turn my luck into bad luck and just stay humble and i've been blessed. >> were you ever insecure. >> always, always. but to be here next to conan, i'm so blessed. >> thank you. thank you. thank you, shaq. your hand weighs 60 pounds. you just crushed my vertebrae. but the kiss was amazing, by the way. >> you can't be insecure, though, if you're scoring 30 points for lsu and you're number one pick. you can't be insecure. >> you know, i felt that, you know, that was my job. you know, when it comes to being

insecure, i'm sort of like seth. you know, i'm not really ever happy with what i do. especially being at the free throw line, missing four or five free throws in a row and, you know, we lose the game. there are times that would go on that i would just have a fit. >> i think that would be the common -- the most shocking thing that anyone would hear from a table like this is there's a tendency for people to look at a table like some of the people that are here and say they are -- they've made it. they have it. >> i want to be there. >> and i want to be there because their lives are great and what they don't understand is the amount of insecurity that drives you when you're 15, but it's still there when you're 48. >> quincy, you ever feel insecure. >> not a drop. no. let me just say something. i learned from a very early age, i started at 13. ray charles and i started from 14, 16, all the way. the prime rule back in the '40s was you have to be humble with your creativity and gracious

with your success. we didn't think about money or fame ever. >> you never were insecure about your talent? >> oh, sure i was. but, i mean, i tried to support my insecurity with learning my craft, you know. >> when you're this pretty, you're pretty, tyra. do you ever feel insecure? you look in the mirror, feel insecure? >> sure. i see -- i see the things that i want to change when i look in the mirror. i'll see -- >> i'm fine. i'm good. i'm not complaining. but, no, when i look in the mirror as i'm getting older especially i look at my skin. whose body is this? you know? what is happening to me? >> tyra, you ever feel -- you ever look at yourself, you ever feel insecure? >> do i feel insecure physically? probably every day. i had this -- >> we're all [ bleep ]. >> this is the most depressing dinner i've ever been to.

tyra banks is physically insecure. it's time to push this into my sternum. >> you're not the one who has to sit across from you. >> no. every day. i have this new apartment i built in new york. and in the bathroom i put all these, like, mirrors everywhere, you know. oh, put one over there. put one over there. make it look bigger. but i see my ass and the dimples in my ass every time i'm brushing my teeth. there's a mirror there reflecting there. i'm looking at my ass with the dimples in my ass. of course i feel it. >> russell, you know you're funny, right? you know you're funny? >> yes, yes. under the right circumstances when the pressure is on, perhaps a fabricated dinner with a variety of celebrities. coming up next, dinner heats up as my guests reveal what makes their blood boil. >> i can't stand it when people think they're entitled to something. i think our culture is very entitled. plus -- >> any discussion of this type always makes me kind of secretly kind of squirm a little bit. >> find out what is making seth

and conan so uncomfortable. >> thank you. you've destroyed all of our careers. >> when this larry king special "dinner with the kings" continues. everyone in the nicu, all the nurses wanted to watch him when he was there 118 days. everything that you thought was important to you changes in light of having a child that needs you every moment. i wouldn't trade him for the world. who matters most to you says the most about you.

massmutual is owned by our policyholders so they matter most to us. if you're caring for a child with special needs, our innovative special care program offers strategies that can help. it's 4g, so you can do more faster. so, kathryn, post more youtube videos of your baby acting adorable. baby. on it. matt, ignore me and keep updating your fantasy team. huh? jeff, play a game. turbo-boosting now, sir. dennis, check in everywhere you go on foursquare. that's mayor dennis... of the water cooler. you're the best. liz, rock out to pandora. oh, no i'm an only child. and nick, you shouldn't even be here, you can do everything from the golf course. good? good. [ male announcer ] on at&t, blackberry® torch moves at the speed of 4g. ♪ [ male announcer ] great things can come out of sweat. ♪ so don't let odor stop you. gillette odor shield. turns odor into freshness. ♪ my hair is gone ♪ cheap cologne

♪ motor home ♪ i'm the rocket man! [ both ] ♪ rocket man ♪ burning out his fuse up here alone ♪ burning out his fuse up here alone? ahh. [ male announcer ] crystal clear fender premium audio. one of many premium features available on the all-new volkswagen passat. the 2012 motor trend car of the year. ♪ and i think it's gonna be a long, long time ♪ the 2012 motor trend car of the year. usa prime credit... this peggy... hi, i'm cashing in my points... peggy? no more points - coupons now. coupons? coupons. coupons? next, you convert coupons to tokens. tokens? then you trade tokens for credits. and then i get the cash? then you call back. bye bye. peggy? hello? what just happened? want rewards that make sense? switch to discover. america's #1 cash rewards program. it pays to discover.

the next course is going to be a sweet corn. one of our famous dishes from spago. this is really, really very special. a small pasta filled with corn and ricotta cheese. really delicious. we're going to finish it with some truffles. enjoy. >> what gets you angry, jack? >> facebook. no, no, no. no, no, no. i think it's mainly around inaction. you know, people seeing something just inhumane going wrong and just not doing anything about it. not speaking out. being silent. we have such amazing tools to share. and we -- we've just been given so much opportunity to -- to help. and we don't take it.

we do think it's going to be given to us. we think we're entitled to not do anything. >> i hate hypocrisy. i hate the politician that preaches anti-gay and is gay. that drives me up a wall. >> i think entitlement is my least favorite. i can't stand it when people think they're entitled to something. i think our culture is very entitled. and i honestly don't think i'm entitled to anything. i think, you know, i come from a culture where you get what you can and you're grateful for it. but i don't think i'm deserve -- i don't think i deserve anything. i grew up not really knowing what class my parents were. my father is in academic medicine, and my mom didn't work when we were kids. and then she went back to law school much -- went back to being a lawyer much later on. so we were comfortable but we were driving crappy station wagons and class was never an issue. my father always said it's good

that you grew up -- he was very proud of the fact that we grew up not knowing where we were. we didn't feel any entitlement. and i've never felt that. i'm happy to be here. if i get kicked out in 20 minutes, i'll be upset and you'll hear from my publicist but i will accept it and then move on. and i think there is a lot of entitlement in our -- in our culture specifically. i don't know about globally. but i think in america, there's a lot of i am owed this and this and this and this. >> where does that come from? >> and i don't know where it comes from. >> it comes from the culture. because you're told that you're nothing unless you can purchase. people are being accidentally marketed that can't afford the products that they are being sold and they're being told they should have that they deserve because you're worth it, just do it. these constant, endless, jinglistic slogans filling people's head. there's a void created, religious void because there's no religious or spiritual culture promoted. >> you also have every politician on the planet saying you're getting screwed. you deserve more.

why are you tolerating this? it's almost akin to in hollywood if your agent tells you, you don't have to take that. you're worth 100 times more than that. you hold your ground. oftentimes they're wrong. you start to believe it unless you're -- unless you're -- you have a strong psychological constitution. >> what makes you laugh? >> i think mutual misunderstandings are funny. misapprehensions. watching a misunderstanding unfold and seeing it from someone else's perspective. >> it's all a surprise, right? there has to be surprise. >> sudden revelation. >> there was a dick van dyke show where he spent an afternoon talking to a class of grade schoolers telling them what is funny? they summed it all up into that one little nugget. it's what's unexpected. >> when i was a kid i loved that show "three's company." every episode was a misunderstanding. jack thought chrissy was doing

this and chrissy thought jack was doing this. every episode was a misunderstanding. >> we can be surprised by it. what do you think, conan? >> or jokes, right, conan? >> you know, i don't love jokes i never liked jokes. people on the street are always saying, hey, conan, how about a joke? i hate jokes. i don't like anything that you can memorize that's supposed to be funny. i like -- and i agree with russell that i like to be funny with people in the moment. you find it. it's -- you know, it's a little like music. i'm a horrible musician but i love it. and i think there is something akin to music where -- >> absolutely. >> -- you're just trying to find a little moment and play it out. >> improvisation. >> yeah. >> i want to hear what makes shawn laugh other than me. >> hearing old stories. hearing old stories over and over and over again. i don't know why they still make me laugh, but they do. >> we do such stressful things every single day. it's the greatest stress reliever. it's also the greatest team builder.

>> health is, too. >> nothing is more abounding than having a laugh together and making a fool of yourself to do it. it's all situational. >> laughing at yourself. >> it always makes me squirm about analyzing it, though. any discussion of this type always makes me kind of secretly kind of squirm a little bit. >> well, it should. i always think it's grabbing at mist. when you hear people start to, you know, my standard line with journalists is if you like it, great. if you don't, i can't help you. this is what i do. but it's grabbing at fog. >> in a weird way, in its attempt to elevate it, it almost diminishes it. >> so you've ruined comedy, larry. thank you. you've destroyed all of our careers. coming up, we talk about friends. i have an unusual situation. because i have three people i grew up with that i knew them since 10 years old. >> these are people you fought in the civil war with. >> right. and family -- >> my mother's always been there

for me. she's my best friend. >> my parents were unbelievably supportive. they were ex-hippies. and so, thank god, never wanted me to become a lawyer or anything like that. plus, later. >> i'm going to rifle through larry's drawers. >> russell brand's on the loose in my house. find out what he uncovered. >> russell, does anything embarrass you? >> when this larry king special "dinner with the kings" continues. with the capital one venture card

we get double miles on every purchase. so we earned a holiday trip to the big apple twice as fast! dinner! [ garth ] we get double miles every time we use our card. and since double miles add up fast, we can bring the whole gang! it's hard to beat double miles! i want a mace, a sword, a... oww! [ male announcer ] get the venture card from capital one and earn double miles on every purchase, every day. go to capitalone.com. i wonder what it could be?! what's in your wallet? i wonder what it could be?! we've saved people a lot of money on car insurance.

feels nice going into the holidays. ohhhh.... will you marry me? oooh, helzberg diamonds. yeah, well he must have saved some money with geico. reminds me of the gecko mating call. really? how does that go? shoo be doo be doo. geico. 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance.

we had dinner recently that went very well. we talked about friends and what friends mean in your life and friendships. because i have an unusual situation. because i have three people i grew up with that i knew them since 10 years old. and, you know, defining what friendship is, i've made some new friends since. but there's nothing like a friend. do you have any friends -- >> these are people you fought in the civil war with, larry. >> see, now, normally i would be hurt by that. >> that's a bond. when you're fighting the confederacy, that's an incredible bond, larry. >> you can make a joke about ages. >> no, please. please. i'm in my late -- early 30s, late 20s myself.

and i know better than anyone at this table what it's like to lose your incredible physical prowess that you had just years ago. two years ago. >> true. do you have -- do any of you have close friends like that? >> oh, yeah. >> my close, close friends are from, like, elementary school, junior high and high school. >> jack? >> i don't have -- i don't have close friends that i've been friends with for years and years and years. but recently just going deeper and deeper. they're grounding. they have perspective. they're inspiring. >> and they like you for you, not for twitter. >> absolutely. they knew me before twitter. >> russell? >> yeah. i think it's really important. otherwise you lose yourself in this mad context. although now i can't remember my life before i came into this room. this is completely how i define myself now. >> a friend is someone i think that if you call at 3:00 in the morning and say, i got a problem. they don't say what it is. they come over.

>> that's my agent. >> you don't make friends, you discover them. forget about the people in your past there's a reason they didn't make it to your future. the ones who don't know how to stick with you. the real friend knows who you are and accepts you for your bad and good sides. >> shaq? >> believe it or not, my best friend is my mother. we struggled together in new jersey. throughout all the tough times, she was there. she was really my real role model. people always talk about role models. but my mother has always been there for me. she's my best friend. before i do something or say something crazy, i always think about how it could affect her. >> do you have great friends? >> i would like to be friends with shaq's mom. she sounds -- she could straighten me out, probably. i come from a big irish catholic family. and i'm one of six kids. and we're all very close. >> the family. >> the family is very close. and i've just been lucky and my

good friends have been friends of mine for 20, 30 years. they're great. they don't -- you know, they don't see me as any different. >> any individual impact on your life? >> my parents were the formative people in my life who, you know, taught me to work hard and be nice to people. which is, you know. and then there's a million comedy influences and people that i look up to. and so it's hard to boil it all down to just one person. >> do you have an impacting person? >> my dad. because he -- he's my best friend. >> your mother is the answer to that question, right, shaq? your mother is your impact. do you have an impact person? >> it's actually my momma as well. >> seth, do you have anybody? >> you know, as long as we're all on the -- on the mother train. >> confessional. your mother, too. >> yeah. actually, it's worth noting when my mother passed away last year, you did a very, very heartfelt, very much appreciated tribute to her on air.

which is -- which remains a very precious thing. but, yeah. you know, my -- i mean, both my parents were unbelievably supportive. they were ex-hippies. and so thank god never wanted me to become a lawyer or anything like that. and -- and, you know, my mom used to call every monday morning after the show would air, after "family guy" would air, and would, you know, either rave about the show or say, i didn't think this was as funny as some of the other ones. i would always look forward to that call. i would always -- you do a show for millions of viewers. yet i would still always look forward to that call. mainly because she always genuinely got it. this wasn't just somebody from an older generation saying, "i love it because you did it." no. she got the jokes. she was just a wickedly dark person. got all the -- the jokes. it was impossible to offend her.

and in a way it was like weirdly, you're kind of like putting that really, really expensive macaroni drawing on the -- on the refrigerator, you know, every week. so that was -- that was -- i miss that very much. >> jack, do you have an impact person? >> yeah. my -- it was definitely my parents as well. >> really. >> they were both -- they were both entrepreneurs. my dad started a pizza restaurant when he was 19 with his best friend. and it was called two nice guys. >> where? >> in st. louis, missouri, where i'm from. started doing really well. they started to need to hire some help. they made one rule which was they would not date the wait staff. they hired my mom a month later. and my dad fell in love with her, said, you know, i broke the rule. i have to give up the business. it's all yours. and i was born nine months after that. but they've been entrepreneurs ever since. my mom started a coffee store and my dad has his own business. both my brothers work there.

they've been a constant inspiration. coming up, what keeps these people laying awake at night. >> i just watch episodes of my own show over and over again. i just -- god, that guy's good. >> i feel like my problems are ridiculous and dumb and what the hell, why did i not sleep? it happens often. >> are you maybe a little obsessed with your own mortality like i am? plus, a personal revelation that had my guests doing a double take. >> this is big news. i just want to make sure we stick with the headline here which is that you wish to be frozen. your head -- >> would you want to live forever? >> yep. >> you would? >> you bet your ass. when this larry king special "dinner with the kings" continues. ry from at&t? it's 4g, so you can do more faster. so, kathryn, post more youtube videos of your baby acting adorable. baby. on it. matt, ignore me and keep updating your fantasy team. huh? jeff, play a game. turbo-boosting now, sir. dennis, check in everywhere you go on foursquare. that's mayor dennis... of the water cooler. you're the best. liz, rock out to pandora.

oh, no i'm an only child. and nick, you shouldn't even be here, you can do everything from the golf course. good? good. [ male announcer ] on at&t, blackberry® torch moves at the speed of 4g. ♪ the other office devices? they don't get me. they're all like, "hey, brother, doesn't it bother you that no one notices you?" and i'm like, "doesn't it bother you you're not reliable?" and they say, "shut up!" and i'm like, "you shut up." in business, it's all about reliability. 'cause these guys aren't just hitting "print." they're hitting "dream." so that's what i do. i print dreams, baby. [whispering] big dreams. i could not make working and going to school work. it was not until the university of phoenix that i was able to work full-time, be a mom, and go to school. the opportunits that i had at the university of phoenix, dealing wh profesonals teaching things that they were doing every day,

got me to where i am today. i'm mayor cherie wood, i'm responsible for the largest urban renewal project in utah, and i am a phoenix. [ male announcer ] find your program at phoenix.edu. gives you a 50 percent annual bonus. so you earn 50 percent more cash. if you're not satisfied with 50% more cash, send it back! i'll be right here, waiting for it. who wouldn't want more cash? [ insects chirping ] i'll take it. i'll make it rain up in here. [ male announcer ] the new capital one cash rewards card. the card for people who want 50% more cash. what's in your wallet? sorry i'll clean this up. shouldn't have made it rain.

>> here are your headlines. another sports leader has come under fire for alleged sex abuse of children. the incidents were committed in the 1980s by robert dodd who later became head of the amateur athletic union. the aau is one of the largest amateur sports organizations in the u.s. volunteers across the country are remembering fallen u.s. service members by laying wreaths on their head stones. wreaths across america has grown into a tradition. dozens of u.s. military cemeteries on foreign soil and all of the sites of the september 11th attacks take part. 90,000 wreaths were left on head stones of arlington national cemetery. happy homecoming for thousands of sailors aboard two u.s.

destroyers, a cruiser and the aircraft carrier george w. bush. they arrived on saturday after a seven month deployment. family members were right there to welcome them back. all thrilled their loved ones will be home for the holidays. a cross town rivalry got out of hand in cincinnati. players from xavier and cincinnati traded punches as their basketball game was ending. the brawl cut the game short with nine seconds left. xavier had already put the game out of reach. 76-53. suspensions are expected once the league has a chance to review the video. baylor university quarterback robert giffin iii won the heisman trophy. he led baylor to a 9-3 record. andrew luck came in as the runner up for a second year in a row. he had been the pre-season favorite. those are your headlines this hour. i'm don lemon keeping you informed. cnn the most trusted name in news.

at one point during our dinner party, russell excused himself and left the table. and decided to go explore our house. in just a few minutes, you'll find out exactly what he was up to. >> we're going to have a wonderful filet mignon. from a farm. a beef filet. a cross between japanese beef and american beef. very tender, really delicious with some mushrooms and a few potatoes and a light sauce with it. so it's really simple. and for you, we have something special. >> thank you. >> okay. >> then we'll continue with the next one. >> what keeps you up at night? you, i know. >> what you think keeps me up at night is not what keeps me up at night. >> you keep her up at night. >> no, no. she's up all night with the ipad, the twitter. >> no. i'm thinking. i'm thinking and i'm worrying.

and i'm thinking about the kids. >> what are you worried about? >> you know what? i'm worried about what's happening with -- with our kids and who their friends are and what's going on with -- how the world is changing so quickly and trying to contain it and make sure they get on the right path. there's so many things available to everybody through the internet, through television, through friends. that i wouldn't normally maybe introduce to them. but how do you -- how do you fix it. how do you guide them without being overbearing? >> believe it or not, every night before i go to sleep i like to go through a checklist. was i a good father today? did i make people laugh today? did i help someone in need today? did i laugh a lot today? i just say, okay, i lived today like it was my last day. now i lay me down to sleep. i say the prayer.

hopefully i wake up the next day and every day when i wake up, thank god. thank my parents. you know, just go through the next day and just try to do the same thing. try to do the same thing. >> conan, what keeps you up? >> i just watch episodes of my own show over and over again. and i just -- god, that guy's good. i laugh and laugh. you know, i don't think anything -- i'm a reader. i like to read. i like to read history. and i'll get these ridiculously -- i just finished a book on chairman mau. i don't know where i find these things. i don't know if you're the same way, seth, but i like anything that's the exact opposite of what i do for a living. i don't like to read comedy at night. i don't like to watch comedy at night. my wife says let's watch the funny sitcom, the funny movie. i want to watch the documentary where they invade poland again. i always like to go to a different place.

that's what puts my mind at rest at night. >> my work keeps me up at night. i think about my business. you know, i tend to have insomnia sometimes. actually, i didn't sleep much last night. but, like, work. business. or minor things like hr. you know, maybe a staffer is -- you know, just -- it's just dumb. then i wake up in the morning and i'm like, wait, i lost sleep over that? when the sun comes and the world is awake, i don't feel alone and i feel like my problems are ridiculous and dumb and what the hell, why did i not sleep? it happens often. >> can we -- just so we have it for editing, can you say you think about me at night? just for editing. we're not going to use this. >> okay. just for editing. >> just for editing in case. >> what keeps you up at night? >> i read a lot at night. i generally -- >> are you maybe a little obsessed with your own mortality like i am? >> oh, i fear death. >> yeah. >> my biggest fear is death. because i don't think i'm going

anywhere. >> no. >> since i don't think that and i don't have a belief, i don't -- i'm married to someone who has the belief. so she knows she's going somewhere. and i want to be frozen. on the hope that they'll find whatever i died of and bring me back. and if -- she said to me, if you come back in 200 years, you won't know anybody. okay. i'll meet new people. >> this is big news. let's make sure we're -- >> cryonic. >> russell is chewing loudly. please, russell. you would like to be frozen. >> the hedging of a bet. >> there's a great quote from mark twain i use to comfort myself whenever i have the same thoughts because i have many of the same thoughts. he said there were -- there were billions upon billions upon billions of years before i was born in which i did not exist. during that time i was not in the least inconvenienced by that fact. >> that wouldn't help me.

>> i just want to make sure that we stick with the headline here which is that you wish to be frozen. your head. >> would you want to live forever? >> yep. >> you would? >> you bet your ass. >> doing dinner table? >> no, i'm curious. who's going to win the world series. who's going to win the next election. what's going to happen after that. what happens to the world. where does twitter go? >> i'm with russell on this. i want out. i want out. the sooner the better. that was crazy. let me take that back. give me six more years. you know, what's this obsession with sticking around forever? i don't want to stick around forever? >> but do you believe in an afterlife? how deep? >> if my mother is watching, yes. if she's not watching, i think, you know, as theodore roosevelt said, we just go down in the darkness. so i'm not sure. and who knows. >> that's right. who knows. >> but i find my voice annoying. and i think it's reedy and it's high pitched. and i think it should just go

away at some point. and my own self-loathing, i'm rooting for my death. >> that's catholic. what do you think about at night? >> what keeps me up mostly at night, larry, is your wife's underwear. i lie awake thinking about, what does shawn king wear? what's keeping larry so lively that he wants to be frozen for eternity? this man refuses to die. because that's what he goes to bed with. yeah. you have me in your house. i've been rooting, larry. >> why didn't you pick a matching set? >> because it's dark in there, okay? i spent a lot of time rummaging around. >> russell, does anything embarrass you? >> clearly not. >> clearly not. >> hello, hello. i'm a touring scamp. i've got no morality. >> what keeps you up, jack? >> yeah. just move on. whoever's holding shawn king's undies can talk. >> here's the thing.

you just revealed you want to be frozen. >> why are you hung on that? >> two things just happened. you revealed you want your head chopped off and frozen, and russell brand went into your wife's room and stole her underwear and you're moving on with prepared questions! coming up, my guests are about to reveal a very personal side you have not heard before. >> in real life, i'm like passive/aggressive. i'm anti-confrontational. i'm even in coaching to, like, learn how to be confrontational. >> i've made hundreds and hundreds of mistakes and learn from them. >> i think people because of "family guy" think that i'm -- >> heartless? >> yeah. a heartless frat guy, playboy type. could not be further from the truth. >> find out what they are all really like when no one's around. up next on this larry king special "dinner with the kings." everyone have their new blackberry from at&t? it's 4g, so you can do more faster. so, kathryn, post more youtube videos of your baby acting adorable. baby. on it. matt, ignore me and keep updating your fantasy team. huh? jeff, play a game. turbo-boosting now, sir.

dennis, check in everywhere you go on foursquare. that's mayor dennis... of the water cooler. you're the best. liz, rock out to pandora. oh, no i'm an only child. and nick, you shouldn't even be here, you can do everything from the golf course. good? good. [ male announcer ] on at&t, blackberry® torch moves at the speed of 4g. ♪ [ electronic beeping ] [ male announcer ] still getting dandruff? neutrogena® t/gel shampoo defeats dandruff after just one use. t/gel shampoo. it works. neutrogena®.

it works. wait a second... with olay challenge that. new regenerist wrinkle revolution... relaxes the look of wrinkles instantly, and the look of deep wrinkles in 14 days. ready, set, smooth... regenerist. from olay. fore! no matter what small business you are in, managing expenses seems to... get in the way.

not anymore. ink, the small business card from chase introduces jot an on-the-go expense app made exclusively for ink customers. custom categorize your expenses anywhere. save time and get back to what you love. the latest innovation. only for ink customers. learn more at chase.com/ink your new progresso rich & hearty steak burger soup. [ dad ] i love this new soup. it's his two favorite things in one... burgers and soup. did you hear him honey? burgers and soup. love you. they're cute. [ male announcer ] progresso. you gotta taste this soup.

what's the biggest misunderstanding about you? what don't people know about you or think wrongly about you? >> they probably don't know that i'm a nice guy. >> yeah. he's so sweet. >> because you look evil on the court. you do. you do. >> i look evil. you know, sometimes when i don't want to be bothered, i give people the short answer. you know, i just -- you know, but, you know, most of the time i'm friendly. i make people laugh. i like to laugh. i think if i can laugh at myself, then i can laugh at anything. >> what don't we know about? what's misunderstood about you? >> misunderstood?

well, when i did my show, created my show, whatever, i also created a persona on "top model." and it's a character. so when i'm sitting there and i have all this make-up on and your picture is not fierce and talking all that and reprimanding the girls, that is a character. i don't do that. in real life, i'm, like, passive/aggressive. i'm anti-confrontational. i'm even in coaching to, like, learn how to be confrontational. so it's a character. but people think it's real. >> you're very sexy. you realize that you're a sex symbol. >> am i? no, i'm not. i'm so not sexy. i know how to turn it on for a picture but i'm not sexy in real life. i'm not sexy right now. i'm not a sexy person but i know how to turn it on for a camera. but i'm not sexy normal. >> do you mean you don't like having sex? >> i'm not talking about that. >> that's what sexy is. it's about sex. >> i'm talking about sitting -- i don't know how to go hello. >> you know what? i don't think this is airing. this is clearly not airing.

if it's not airing, we all have to chip in for the meal. >> i think this goes on hbo. >> no. hbo would not air this. >> i agree. >> what don't we -- what's misunderstood about you? >> i think the biggest thing for me is that people assume when they see a twitter or a square that it just happens and there were no mistakes, there were no wrong decisions. but i've made hundreds and hundreds of mistakes. and -- and learned from them. and that's what makes a successful company. that's what makes a successful, creative endeavor is learning from your mistakes. and it's so easy to assume when you see something at a moment in time that it's been perfect up to that point. >> jack dorsey there, debunking the myth. >> russell. what's the biggest myth about you? >> i don't know, mate. other people's perspective is in it. if you spend too much time thinking about what other people think of you you've gone a bit mental. i'm bloody lucky i've got a conception at all, let alone a misconception. i'll be very grateful if

anybody's speaking anything. >> what do we misconceive about you? >> i don't know. there's a million things that anybody at this table could read about themselves that is a misconception. i think people because of "family guy" think that i'm -- >> heartless? >> yeah. a heartless frat guy. a playboy type. could not be further from the truth. i'm actually very -- not withdrawn. i'm very shy. i fall asleep each night with a book in my hands, my favorite movie is "the sound of music." >> you're not a player? >> in no way whatsoever. that's always fascinated me. if i had had that reputation in high school, my god, it would have been wonderful. no. i'm actually very -- >> you're a single, good looking, creative, inventive, successful guy. >> gosh, i don't know what to say, larry. you're not frozen to me. coming up, our dinner's almost over. and my guests tell me what they're thankful for.

>> i'm lucky not to be dead. i was a drug addict for years. i'm very, very lucky to be here with beautiful, intelligent people. >> grateful i'm at a party with all these beautiful people and there are rubies on the table. the country is in a tight spot right now. and you're having a televised function that -- >> stick around for dessert. next on this larry king special, "dinner with the kings." really? 25 grams of protein. what do we have? all four of us, together? 24. he's low fat, too, and has 5 grams of sugars. i'll believe it when i--- [ both ] oooooh... what's shakin'? [ female announcer ] as you get older, protein is an important part of staying active and strong. new ensure high protein... fifty percent of your daily value of protein. low fat and five grams of sugars. see? he's a good egg. [ major nutrition ] new ensure high protein. ensure! nutrition in charge! nyquil tylenol: we are?ylenol. you know we're kinda like twins. nyquil (stuffy): yeah, we both relieve coughs, sneezing, aches, fevers.

tylenol: and i relieve nasal congestion. nyquil (stuffy): overachiever. anncr vo: tylenol cold multi-symptom nighttime relieves nasal congestion... nyquil cold & flu doesn't. usa prime credit... this peggy... hi, i'm cashing in my points... peggy? no more points - coupons now. coupons? coupons. coupons? next, you convert coupons to tokens. tokens? then you trade tokens for credits. and then i get the cash? then you call back. bye bye. peggy? hello? what just happened? want rewards that make sense? switch to discover. america's #1 cash rewards program. it pays to discover. there's a battery that's relied on to help bring children holiday joy. of course, children don't really think about which battery makes their toy run, but, still, you'd never want to disappoint. duracell. trusted everywhere. [ woman ] welcome to learning spanish in the car. you've got to be kidding me. yeah, this is good.

vamanos. vamanos. vamanos. gracias. gracias. gracias. ♪ trece horas en el carro sin parar y no traes musica. mira entra y comprame unas papitas. [ male announcer ] get up to 795 miles per tank in the all-new passat tdi clean diesel. the 2012 motor trend car of the year. ♪

most grateful for. anything. >> in 104 characters or less. >> i'm most grateful for being able to wake up every day and do what i love. and -- and define every day completed. you know, i don't -- i can't think of anything else more magical than that. i can -- i can find my day and do exactly what i want to do. >> russell? >> i think i'm most grateful for shawn king's bra. to have this close to my heart. >> it's a serious moment,

russell. >> oh, serious moment. i'm so sorry for undercutting the paradigm. i'm grateful for everything. i'm grateful to be included in this. i'm lucky not to be dead. i was a drug addict for years. i'm very, very lucky to be here with these beautiful, intelligent people. i'm lucky to be alive. pioneers, i don't think i should be here now. i've nicked loads of stuff from your house. >> tyra? >> what am i most grateful for? i'm most grateful that i had a woman that raised me and kept me sane in a world that's insane, full of insane people. >> what are you looking at him for? >> i don't know. >> i'm grateful that i'm still a drug addict. i don't know how i would have gotten through this evening. i think it would have been a disaster. i wouldn't have had a thing to say. no. i think -- i think i got -- i got to be unoriginal and duplicate jack's sentiment that

there's a million things i could be doing and i'm -- i couldn't be more delighted to be doing what i'm doing. i think a lot of it has to do with luck and timing. but, you know, pitching the right thing at the right time to the right people. and so i'm grateful for being in the right place at the right time and getting the opportunity to do everything that i've been able to do. >> shaq? >> i'm most grateful for being a medium level juvenile delinquent that made it. because as you know many young african-americans don't make it. my key was being a leader, not a follower. listening to my parents. i consider myself one of the luckiest people in the world. i can remember a day i want to be a rapper and i'm doing my thing. i get a call from quincy jones. he wants me to rap on his album. remember that? that's why -- so that's why for me it's key that i remain humble. because all this right now is luck. i mean, i remember times where,

you know, if i would have went this way, i wouldn't be here. if i would have went that way, i wouldn't be here. i'm grateful to have friends. i'm grateful that, you know, conan has me on the show. i'm grateful to be sitting next to tyra. you know, i'm grateful that you invited me to this dinner. i thank you very much. i'm just a kid that's from northern new jersey who followed his dreams, stayed out of trouble and i'm here. >> quincy? >> i'm grateful that i'm a motherless -- going to go from infancy to alzheimer's. i don't ever want to be grown up. seven of the most beautiful kids. six daughters, one son. grandkids and the best friends in the world. i worked with every major artist in the world in the last 60 years. every major artist. louis armstrong, billy holiday, too. all those rappers. it's a blessing. you have to take the light. the light part of your life, you know. wipe out the darkness. >> shawn? >> most grateful for --

redundant. my family. my sons. i cry when i talk about them. so, yeah, i'm thankful for them. and i'm really thankful for you. >> i'm grateful for this whole thing in life. her, the kids. i can't believe -- i pinch myself every day. my father died when i was 9 1/2. i was on relief for three years. new york city, bought my first pair of glasses. i dreamed of being on the radio. that's all i ever dreamed of. i never thought all this would happen to me. and i'm grateful for it happening and for where i am right now. and still got things to do. conan? are you praying, conan? >> yeah. first of all, i'm grateful that i'm at a party with these wonderful people and there are rubies on the table. rubies. >> we spare nothing. >> this is insanity. >> this is like the banquet in the temple of doom. >> it's ridiculous. this is making me feel horrible. the country's in a tight spot right now.

and you're having a -- >> larry king is giving away precious gems. >> you're having a televised function that caligua would be embarrassed about. look at this! there's rubies. i think i'm probably most grateful for -- i see the absurdity in things. i think that's -- i'm very grateful for that. this is absurd in a very nice way. but it's absurd that i get to sit at this table and -- and i think it's absurd that i get to do a show. and i think it's -- there are just so many things in my life that i think are absolutely -- >> what am i doing here? >> yeah. what am i doing here? and my grandfather directed traffic in worcester, massachusetts. and why am i here? my route has been so improbable. i find myself to be an absurd person. i think it's ridiculous that i get to exist. so i think that sense of absurdity is -- keeps me going.

i just think the whole thing is insane and i've got your wife's underwear in my pocket. >> you got -- anybody got a credit card? i'll pay you back. i left it upstairs. >> who has a credit card? >> this is something that jack has invented. tell what this is, jack. >> it's called square. it allows anyone to accept credit cards. >> anyone. >> any reason at all? >> personal. whatever reason. >> that seems incredibly dangerous. >> where do you get it now, jack? >> what's that? >> where do you get this? >> you get it from the app store. you download it from android or the iphone app store. and it's really important for this particular economy because people are starting businesses and they want to start their own -- their own functions. and accepting payments has been the barrier. >> you invented this? >> yeah. myself and my co-founder. >> what do you call it? >> this will revolutionize prostitution. congratulations! here, here! >> all right, i'm leaving.