it wasn't wimbledon. >> you're a good player. >> thank you. >> thank you. ♪ hello, everyone, i'm don lemon. thank you for joining us. first the news you need to know. a group of civil rights leaders are commending president obama for what they call his evolution on gay marriage. reverend joseph lowery and julian bond helped write the letter. will their views carry weight in the african-american community and in the church? we could get some answers tomorrow when african-american pastors will be in the pulpit. mitt romney makes a personal appeal to conservative evangelicals. mr. romney addressed graduates at liberty university. he never mentioned his own

mormon faith directly, but stressed common ground on issues like service, responsibility, and the definition of marriage as between a man and a woman. tens of thousands of protesters in spain are fed up with their country's economic nightmare. they marched today in madrid and other cities, marking the one-year anniversary of a movement against inequality and sky high unemployment. >> >> now to the stories you're talking about. the conservative gay sheriff, forced out of the closet. now he's speaking out on a party divided. tough love for the gop. it's a cnn exclusive. a magazine cover worth a bunch. boobs, it's what's for dinner. does mom need it more than the kid?

all that, plus dirty dictator, dirty words, and some super clean fun. oh, boy, what a week for america and for marriage. north carolina banned same-sex marriage. the next day the president says he's okay with gay people getting married. is it highlights a divide in the republican party over social issues? a gay republican forced out of the closet in february in a publicized scandal. yesterday, paul, you dropped out of the raise for congress. with that, with the north carolina vote, and with president obama, what has your week been like? >> well, it's been a liberating free week. there's been a will the of controversy about this issue and it hits home with me personally. it's something -- i am gay and i am a sheriff and i am a

conservative. yet this is something that i was open to family and certain friends but not to the public. that was used and it's my responsibility in the end and i take ownership of it. it was used as a weapon to harm me. >> yeah. >> and now i'm dealing with it. >> so you gave them the ammunition you're saying by not coming out? >> absolutely. that's a regret i have, don, in that i've always been honest about it. you know, there's been scandals about people who are married and are gay or who have a fake girlfriend. that was never me. i'm braced it, never lied about it. but i wish in retrospect that i shared that with the public. but to be honest with you, i was a little afraid how people would react. i think people can understand that. come to find out, people say sheriff paul, it doesn't matter. and in fact, it's your performance and your results and

that's been so heartening to me to hear that. surprisingly, from a lot of conservatives. >> so you're having this experience now after having come out, right? >> yes. >> if you had done that a long time ago, there would be no need to -- i did stories on you and one of them was a no-talking point segment where i said had you been out in the first place, no one could have tried to -- thus no allegations, as you say. >> true. >> no one could have tried to blackmail you. that's what you say, not what your ex-boyfriend is saying. so had you come out, nothing. >> right, yeah. and that's -- in retrospect, and this is how i defined myself is by my work, by the value i add and how i want to be measured is results. you know, it's been ironic

because a lot of people who aren't -- because they look at me in a different light because i'm a sheriff, 20 years in the military, served a tour in iraq and all of a sudden they find out sheriff paul is guy. >> gay and conservative and now they're like, oh, wow. that makes their head go, what's going on here? >> it does. >> your regret is not coming out, and you would change that. what would you change about your party if you could change anything? >> wider acceptance and understanding. it's a slow revolution. i'm proud to see that the party is evolving. probably to fast forward a decade and see where we would be at. i think in the essence of the republican party, it does stand for freedom and individual liberty and the federal government or any government getting out of people's lives. >> you would fast forward your party ten years. what do you mean by that?

>> well, i think you're seeing an evolution in thought, and you're seeing that -- forget the polls, but just how this is 2012. there is a poll released by a local news station here in phoenix. my strongest support even today, 75% of conservatives said that i should be re-elected to another four-year term. that's amazing. so to see that, and they said none of this makes the difference. so first it's not just tolerance, it's respect because of who i am and what i've shown them in terms of my performance and result. i think the quiet example has really helped evolve in a large degree. >> what do you say to people in your party, including mitt romney and be honest with me here, who say that you shouldn't have the right to marry as they do? >> people, as they're looking at this, and i know where they're coming from, their own experiences and understanding,

and you're seeing people turn on this issue. i think this is more about religious freedom and that the republican party, the democrat party, whoever, the government shouldn't be in the middle of all of this, when we have so many other issues. and it really is, in my point of view, is that the federal government, the state should not be telling religious organizations, the catholic church that you have to marry two men, nor should they be able to tell the unitarian or the methodist church that they can't. and this is about -- not just about equality, this is about -- >> but i am not asking you about that. i'm saying what would you say to people in your party and to mitt romney who say that you should not have the right to be married? >> they need to look at it a little bit further and not just look at the old adage of this is the position of the republican party and what i have to do,

because i can tell you, those of us in our 40s and younger in the republican party, there's far stronger support in the evolution of this for equality and for recognition of, hey, they need to understand that. and i think to see obama come out, and he's evolved. and i think that the republican party is lagging on this particular issue. >> all right, paul -- >> but they will get there. >> is the sheriff still in trouble with the law and can he get social conservatives and gay people to talk and to listen? ♪ if loving you is wrong

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all right. i am talking now with arizona sheriff paul, who was a darling of the gop. i want you to watch this. >> we got the right plan, the plan is perfect. you bring troops, state, county and local law enforcement together and complete the dang fence, it will work this time. senator, you're one of us. >> that was before you were forced out of the closet. you say senator mccain is still supportive of you, but what about the rest of the party, do you think you're in a position to bridge the chasm that separates the gop over gay issues? >> i believe i can be one of those. we need some officials in the republican party that just don't

come out and say hey, i support these issues but actually live their life doing their job first and that's most important. but also this is a part of who i am and to see a prominent senator like john mccain still say hey, you're my friend, you're a damn good sheriff and none of this "f"-ing matters. that means the world to me. and to have all my local officials to stand with me, it really has been tremendous. >> i know it's tough for you, because you are -- you don't want this to be a referendum on mitt romney or the party. you're afraid in a sense if you criticize the party, there is tough love. you can criticize something that you like, especially something that needs correction. are you afraid to be critical of the party or mitt romney? it seems like you're hedging a bit, a bit more than you want to. >> you know why? because i leave the best way -- a lot of us in the republican

party get offended when you shove things in their face. i think they respect more about me that i've never done that. it's like wow, paul is a good sheriff. he's performed, he's done all these things and now it's changed a lot of hearts, i really believe that. it's not there with the same opinion of myself, but it shows a greater measure, not just of tolerance, but of acceptance and the fact that the republicans are still super supportive of me to the fact that i have 75% of "the conservatives" but -- >> but there is a disconnect there, because you were afraid to come out because you might -- did you think coming out was shoving it in their face? you were just letting them know who you are as a person. it's no different than someone telling you that they're going to a basketball game with their son. you know they're straight, they have kids. you saying you're gay, how was that shoving it in someone's face?

>> that was more my own fear and projecting that onto everyone else. that's where i was surprised. people said, none of this matters. >> i get what you're saying now. listen, you said that you believe that the extremes of the party are hijacking it a bit. and you want to end that. you want to end the extremes. can you move it real quickly? because i want to ask you about the investigation. >> well, to be truly inclusive and not just say we're inclusive. we've got to show. >> let's move on now. your ex-boyfriend says you used your power to threaten him with deportation and that led you to come out of the closet. where is that investigation now? >> it's nearly complete, and in fact, this is how a lot of it got catapulted out there, because the first report said that and then they corrected it saying it was never a threat of

deportation or anything, because he's not illegal. that's where a lot of this has really taken a life on its own, and i'm in a position as a law enforcement officer, the worst thing you can say about somebody wearing a badge, carrying a gun is that you threatened somebody or abused their authority. but i asked for this investigation and i'm fully confident i'll be exonerated because i know how this ends, i know the truth. >> paul, we will be watching. and if something happens, we're going to count on you to come out, whether you're cleared or not, and talk about it. >> you got it, don. attachment parenting is about making choices that gives consistent loving care. >> never has one magazine cover said so much. boobs, it's what's for dinner.

is this really about baby or mom? and mitt romney, teenage bully. what happens in high school doesn't necessarily stay in high school. look at you and just see a policy. at aviva, we do things differently. we're bringing humanity back to life insurance. that's why only aviva rewards you with savings for getting a check-up. it's our wellness for life program, with online access to mayo clinic. see the difference at avivausa.com.

that is d.l. hughley reacting to "time" magazine cover of a woman breastfeeding a 3-year-old. "if you can stand on a chair, your milk should come from a cow." a lot of people have been talking about this. a 26-year-old mother breastfeeding her nearly 4-year-old son. the article is on attachment parenting. it focuses on toddlers still

breastfeeding and sleeping in the same bed as their parents. at the center of the practice and magazine article is dr. william sears. he's the author of the book "the baby book." >> attachment parenting is not extreme. it's a very natural, beautiful way of mothering and fathering your baby. it's not indulgent or extreme. in fact, how i explain it is, if you are an island and there was no experts around to advise you how to parent your baby, attachment parenting is what you would naturally do. >> but a lot of people argued it is sensationizing something that is meant to be private. people are both drawn to and irritated by this particular cover.

so heather, what do you think of snit what do you make of this cover and the big uproar over attachment parenting now? >> well, i actually am sort of blog friends with jamie and i have a lot of respect for her. "time" contacted me when they were planning on shoot thing cover and i was disappointed when they decided to go with another family. but i felt a little relieved when i saw the cover, because it's not exactly representative of what full-time breastfeeding looks like. i don't think that it -- i think that it was created for shock value and i think it got that across. but it doesn't really represent the attachment parenting paradigm, in my opinion. >> because it's more than just breastfeeding, right? >> well, yes. and it's more intimate. the pose itself is a little detached and jamie has said when she's at home, it's different. her son is seeing her laugh, she's nursing and it's an

intimate thing and i don't think that was portrayed on the cover. my experience with breastfeeding is that it's very intimate. >> they got people interested in this particular topic, so there is some good in it. doctor, does that distract from the real conversation about parenting or does it draw attention to it in a good way? >> i think it simply does take away from what attachment parenting is supposed to be about. it's not supposed to be this super sexy thing. there is this issue of intimacy that we can talk about in a bit, but it is really about selling a magazine, and i think it does a disservice to the whole idea of attachment parenting being about listening to your child and dedicating yourself to the needs of the child. that's something that's a lot more titillating and i think just blowing it out of the water. >> so here's the question that i have been asking -- who benefits more from this really?

is this more, heather, about the kid or is it really about the mom who may have trouble herself detaching? >> may have trouble detaching? i think that's an interesting question. when i first encountered attachment parenting, i didn't think i ever wanted to be a parent. but i found it so fascinating, the way when a mother lays next to her infant child, the way the child's breathing will synchronize with the mother's and how they're designed to be together. as i decided i wanted to have kids, it felt like a natural thing but it's not always been easy for me. and i definitely feel that the choices i've made, i've made for the benefit of my children. >> it sounds like you're saying there's a lot in it for you and it may be more about you than the kid. i'm just saying. >> i think that parenting is

rewarding. so if you're asking if i find using this rewarding, the answer is yes. is it easy? no. i think that the children are really the ones that benefit. >> doctor, you heard my question to her. what do you think, what does her answer sound like to you? >> i'm awarding you an honorary ph.d. don. there is a lot in this for the parent. i think sit a correct interpretation on your part. i'm sure that mothers and this mom are not doing this on a conscious level to just meet their own needs, but we hear this whole issue of intimacy, privacy, and when we look at breastfeeding, sure, it brings all of these components together. but we also have to look at the sociology of this. how do we get our children to integrate with other children? so my keeping them so much in this privacy, in the home, with the mother, it takes a little bit away from that, the development of that child in

that way. so i think moms need to be careful, but i would never tell them not to breastfeed their kids till the age of 3 or 4. that's a personal choice, but they should look at what's happening as far as integrating with other peers. >> i have a short time left, a couple seconds. we don't want to beat up on heather. she answered very honestly. she's very brave to come on. do you think that this can hurt the child rather than help? >> i think at some point there is a diminishing return, especially when you look at integrating the child in with other children. but from what we know, children do naturally begin to shy away from the breast at about 3 or 4 years old. so there is something to this attachment parenting. we shouldn't look at it as extreme parenting, but sit a personal choice. again, i just ask parents, look at your needs versus the needs of your child and keep that straight and you should do okay. >> heather, maybe people should be grateful that it's drawn

attention to attachment parenting. >> i would respectfully disagree that my child is not integrated. she's extremely social and very well integrated. >> i never said that. i just say we have to look at that. we have to balance that. so i would never say that to you, heather. i'm sure your child is absolutely beautiful. >> i wouldn't say that's what the research indicates, that children who are nurtured in this way are less adaptable or sociable. >> thank you, heather. we appreciate it. okay. how far back into a politician's past is fair game? high school? apparently it is when it comes to mitt romney and we want our viewers to stay connected to cnn. if you're on a desktop or laptop, watch cnn live.s ]

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several veterans of the civil rights movement are openly backing president obama's decision to embrace same-sex marriage or gay marriage. now, we could get some answers tomorrow when african-american pastors will be in the pull pit with mothers and mother's day crowds filling the pews. a lot of worshippers have been

wrestling with a question that goes something like this one -- is it more important to support the nation's first black president or to be a "good christian" and oppose gay marriage?t right now with dino and anna. before i get to you guys, earlier i asked julian bond if this open letter was released now to influence sermons in the pulpits tomorrow. listen. >> it's one reason i signed on. i support president obama and i supported his statement. i wasn't aware of any special strategies, though i hope there were some special strategies around this. as i said, this election is too important to just take a carefree attitude toward it. anybody who stays at home is really voting for the other guy. >> so they're trying to rally the troops. i thought it was an interesting question when it was posed, is it more important to be a good christian or more important to support the first african-american president of the united states?

>> i think it's going to be great to see what happens tomorrow and the poll numbers. it's the rare voter who just uses one issue to vote on. they support president obama on many other issues. i think it's unlikely they'll vote against him. i think it's great julian bond and others are standing up. it's a civil rights issue, about treating all americans the same. it's no different than in the '60s where people that were black were treated differently. >> anna? >> i think this reflects what i know to be true in the republican party and in the democrat party, there are different opinions in all of america on this issue. some of us are pro gay rights, pro gay marriage republicans, and some democrats who are anti-gay marriage. and i think this is a calculated move where the white house is coordinating with black leaders and it is a smart move.

they're trying to reinforce their base and send their base the message. listen, we're going to have to look at the entire package. we may not like what he's saying on this, but let's not forget there's an entire package, and on the republican side, the same thing is happening. you saw mitt romney at liberty university today. you would have never expected him to receive the very good reception he did, they were very hospitable to him. look at the entire package. >> this idea that blacks are so on posed to same-sex marriage seems a little overblown, because i want you to look at this. there is a difference. 39% of blacks are in favor. 49% of blacks are opposed compared to 43% of whites. is this -- i don't know, is this being overblown do you think, dean, to say that

african-americans are more opposed than white? >> i think it's going to take a little time. it is an evolution. your first guest, the sheriff talked about that. this is like fighting interracial laws. same idea. it's treating americans less than equal. that's wrong and people of race and color should be more sympathetic. i say frankly that the situation of people who are gay -- >> dean, we've talked about this. we sat next to each other, on the airplane. >> i remember that. >> we talked about how muslims feel about this particular issue, and anna, latinos have their feelings about this particular issue, as well. this is a touchy situation. the thing is, when people say,

and i hate to use this term on the wrong side of history, like republicans will be on the wrong side of history with this, but let's just be honest, are we going to look back one day, anna, and saying the same thing we said about interracial marriage? sure, some people oppose it. ten years from now, we'll be like, really? people may not agree wit, people didn't agree with interracial marriage, but it seems inevitable. do republicans stand a chance of being on the wrong side of history or could this work in reverse and hurt the party? i asked that to the sheriff a moment ago. >> well, don, first, i don't think all republicans feel the same way on this issue. i can tell you that i know many republicans, including myself, who are pro gay marriage republicans and there's many republicans that are very famous republicans. >> you're right, i am generalizing, but you know what i mean. >> like laura bush, cindy mccain.

people who have come out and even been part of campaigns on gay marriage. so i think that's a very unfair painting with a broad brush stroke. >> i agree, but when you hear people like -- and you hear from democrats, when you hear people like mitt romney, what he said today, what he said today, imagine that sound bite in 10 or 20 years, it's going to be like wallace in alabama. you know what i'm saying. >> right now, this is a touchy issue. it is one where the -- that the country is struggling with. we are almost split 50-50 on this issue, as an entire country. i think that the entire country, including our political leaders, will evolve in this. in 10 years, 20 years, we see gays as being much more prevalent in pop culture. we are now up much more exposed to the gay lifestyle. i tell you, my father doesn't

have a gay friend that he knows of, whereas you compare it to his daughter, 40 years later, and i have a ton of gay friends. >> oh, yes, you do. >> i come from a very different perspective. >> i get it. >> and i think it's a fundamental difference, because when you have gay friends, it's hard to say to them, you are entitled to less rights than i am. >> what she's saying, they're going to evolve. why not evolve now? >> i have to ask you this, because listen, something that happened nearly 50 years ago, mitt romney in prep school, really? i did some crazy things in high school that i would not want coming back to haunt me. what do you think? >> you run for leader of the free world, everything you've done in your life is fair game. it doesn't mean it's going to

have traction. but romney has two quick problems. one, look at his pictures from high school. he looks like niedermayer from "animal house." second, he has a likability problem. the polls show it, he's 30% behind president obama. >> i can't even let you respond to someone in your own party, anna. we've got to get to other things. so listen, who needs a good super hero? apparently a lot of us. what super hero could you be? i'll tell you if you tell me yours. "ñfñ

all right. let's head to the movies, shall we? >> america, the birth place of aids. >> admiral general, welcome to new york city. while you're here, i highly recommend a visit to the empire state building before you or one of your cousins takes it down. >> dean, you know, you're muslim. what are your thoughts about this movie? i know you wrote about it. >> i wrote for cnn.com an article. first of all, it's a minstrel show.

he's not arab, playing arab as a buffoon, just like they did in years past. i don't want a boycott, i want nothing. this is what i would love from hollywood. if you're going to mock arabs and indians, at least make us part of the creative process. that's all i want. lit be a better movie. it won't will cliche hack jokes. that's my whole point. >> is there a double standard? why did ashton kutcher catch such heat, but barren cohen is allowed to imitate the arab race for a whole movie? >> very few people stand up for us. we are the ones that people can mock. there's no one standing up for us. >> do you agree, ana? >> don, we live in a democracy. we live in a country where

there's freedom of speech and we have to be our own conscious as to what is appropriate or not. and we can vote with our money, frankly. if we don't like it, if we think it's not appropriate, we don't go to the movies. nobody wants to make movies that don't make money. >> listen, is it -- will people get the joke or will they be offended and is it going to stir up tensions among arabs? >> you can't offend me. i'm a comedian. it's the bigger issue. in the '60s, they did mafia movies with no italians and kept bombing. in 1971, they hired an italian, al pacino, and they make movie history. it's not about freedom of speech. i'm not saying ban the movie. >> we've got to go faster because i want to talk about "the avengers." $850 million worldwide. why is this movie so popular?

and here's the thing -- there you go, i love it. i love it. which super hero would you be? i will show this one, because i went to look for it today. i grew up in the time of underrouxes. these are t-shirts. >> you're supposed to be wearing them, don. >> i would be superman, because i would want to fly. >> i'm wonder woman, don. >> i'm captain arab american. that's why i have the two as on here. i'm proud of being american and proud of being arab. i'm already marketing with product placement. >> why do we need super heros? this movie is for everyone, for adults, as well.

why do we need super heroes, anna? >> because we love the struggle between good and evil. because they are uplifting. they have powers we wish we all had. i wish i had wonder woman's golden lasso that would make people tell the truth. i would use it on politicians. this movie is well made, and it's got some beloved super hero characters that have been around and now they're all together. >> it reminds us of our childhood. everything old is new again. i don't want to the movies that much. dean, you got two seconds. >> i wish to be captain american arab so i don't have to go through tsa security. i could just fly. we'll talk about john travolta, next.

saturday night fever getting hotter. more accusations against john travolta. a third man saying he

propositioned him on a cruise back in 2009. fabian zonzee says he was working on the cruise at the time and claims travolta got naked, hugged him and offered him $12,000 for sex. but obviously mr. travolta denies it. david, you are the expert on crisis management. so take us inside of the crisis room, so to speak, what does john travolta do now? >> john travolta does pretty much what john travolta and his people are doing, which is to avoid the temptation to defend himself. that sounds counterintuitive by any measure. but if you mount a vigorous defense against the charge that is strange and probably not true, all you do is send a message that you don't want to send, which is that perhaps you have something to be defensive about. so by playing it very low key,

by only responding with specific facts, a, you said i did something on a certain day and i can prove that i was somewhere else on the planet on that day, you're much better off than doing what comes naturally. >> so just say nothing. but he is saying something, through his attorneys. he said, this is another ridiculous claim by someone hopping on the bandwagon to get his 15 minutes of fame with a story about something that supposedly happened over three years ago. at the time, zonzee's supervisors did not believe him and subsequently fired him. according to media reports, significantly we never heard of this guy before. he says the fact that we are only hearing about him now through tabloid gossip stories three years later speaks volumes. to be fair, royal caribbean says

he was not fired but he resigned. travolta's attorney is doing major damage control here. but the question is, though, you said say nothing, but is the damage already done and because is perception reality in this case, even if not true? >> a certain amount of damage clearly has been done and you can't erase that, certainly not on the internet age. it's very interesting. look carefully at the quote from his lawyer, and notice what he didn't say. never repeated the charges, never used the negative language. simply stated what from their perspective are simple facts. >> did he never say he can't do it? >> he never said he didn't do it. he never talked about what "it" was that he didn't do. i don't mean to get semantic on you here, but it's very, very

important when you're controlling damage to not do more damage inadvertantly by following your natural instinct. >> david, thank you. that's going to have to be the last word. >> quite welcome. have a little light reading for you. this is from page 78. it says, my tongue tentatively stroked his and joins his in a slow, erotic dance. it only gets worse from there. how is that for a bedtime story? there's more where that came from, next.

he went to spend the night with friends. i had no clue they were coming to the lake. right about here is where josh was, where the raft capsized, and he went down. very hard for me to believe that just like that, my son had drowned and he was gone. my father, he instilled in us the fear of water. and so i, in turn, didn't take my son around water.

children don't have to drown. my name is wanda butts. i save lives by providing swimming lessons. african-american children are three times more likely to drown than white children. that's why we started the josh project, to educate families about the importance of being water safe. many parents, they don't know how to swim. >> he was afraid of the water. he was the first in my family to learn how to swim. he's come a long way, from not liking water in his face, to getting dunked under. >> do you like it? all right. >> i'm so happy to see that so many of them learned how to swim. >> good job! that's one life we saved. >> it takes me back to josh and how the tragedy was turned into

triumph and it makes me happy. our soup mommy and porn

aren't two words that you hear together a whole lot. well, i'm not sure about that. but that is a description for the novel "50 shades of gray." it's two sequels that describes the sex capades of a recent college graduate. what is going on here, anna?

i say it's a chick thing, like a chick flick. women can't stop talking about this. what in the world? >> don, it is pandemonium. i've got to tell you, my super hero right now is e.l. james, the author of this book. she was down in miami at the biltmore hotel about ten days ago, and it was a frenzy of women to go see her. she's really hit a nerve, and i think it's because she does it in a suggestive way. it's porn, but it's porn for women by a woman. >> be honest, when i asked you earlier, if you could bring a super hero, bring something representative and what did you say you were going to bring? >> i said a cuff links and "50 shades of gray." but what i did bring is a silk tie. anybody that's read it knows what i mean. >> it's been banned for

libraries. i could not find nit the store. what are people scared of when it comes to this book? >> i have some points about this book. i read some of it, and there's no pictures in it. it's ridiculous. i have to read it and picture something in my head? are you kidding me. i did some research, you put in the words mommy porn, there's a ton of stuff out there. it's for adults, written by adults for adults. i'm not reading excerpts out loud on the bus. no one is forced to listen to this. if you don't like it, don't read the book. we're going backwards in our society, we're so prudish. >> are you going to see it if it's a movie? >> don, people are buying this book. it's a trilogy, it's number one, two and three in the new york best times seller. i don't know what store you're shopping at, but i went to the