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tonight, my favorite and most talked about interviews of the year. >> the most important thing to remember is i did not punch the guy. >> superstars. >> we have this amazing job, just show up and be prepared. >> scandals. >> any excuse i make, whether it was a rough time in my life, people there, my friends, they baited me, none of that matters. >> i love maria. she's been truly the only love that i've ever had. >> the laughs. >> you're not pronouncing it correctly. it's 50 shades of chartreuse. >> you look fantastic. >> the stories that shocked us. >> if you want to get high, you're going to get high. >> from heavyweights. >> i know how to handle them. i don't want to beat them up. >> to the fastest human alive. >> it's one of the biggest things to me. >> without a doubt, the most explosive and dangerous interview my entire life. >> where are you going, i'm interested in what happened? >> no, you're not interested. what are you doing, what the hell are you doing?

>> people are still talking about it. we'll find out why. "piers morgan tonight" starts now. good evening, this year i've talked to some of the top entertainers in the world, people that make us laugh, make us cry, as i discovered when i sat down with them, they also make us think. every one of them fascinating and surprising things to say about the wider world outside the glittering confines of hollywood. and every one of them is also a lot of fun. tonight you'll hear from some of my favorites. we begin with a man once as famous for outbursts as well as acting. he is, of course, alec baldwin. >> cleverly eluded to moments ago. >> your relationship with the media is fascinating, because you've always been very good copy for them, and you sort of play the game. occasionally, you just blow up. now you seem to be in an almost permanent rage with them. why do you have such conflict with them?

>> i don't think i do have any conflict with them in the sense that guy you're talking about, that photographer, i think the most important thing to remember is i did not punch the guy, and the guy was overheard by witnesses going down the street going down his camera saying, there's one, there's a good one, oh, i like that one. he's going through the whole roll of his film, then they go down to the police station, he presses charges, the charges are dismissed. i don't think i'm somebody that has the da's office or police in my pocket, there was no case there. >> is there a way not to deal with them, alec? i know you get much more attention than i would, but whenever i go across these guys, tmz, they follow you around with a video -- >> very low threshold for entertainment. >> i find them as a necessary part of the business. >> difference of opinion we

have. >> i would call them attacks. attacks on show business. >> you have a very different opinion than i do. my attitude is the business would be infinitely better if all of them were gone. >> really? >> if i could press a button and swirl them down a sewer of vortex, i'd do it. where's the button? >> here's the deal, we'll leave you alone. you can never have any more publicity for anything you do. >> that's not really practical. you will have publicity. listen, i'm not opposed to -- even though i'm not completely ecstatic about the entertainment journalism out there, because it cheapens show business and demystifies show business, but the ones that you call the got ya journalism, that's one i think we can all do without. last time you were on the show, i got great feedback to the back story that you bring before you even get to making movies, but the one thing i came away from is that you had, in changing your life around, the work ethic that you've brought

to everything you now do is incredibly impressive. nothing tells it better than this. seth macfarland said about what you did is the single most prepared human being, it's astonishing. not much he can't do. he's versatile, always surprising, such a humble guy, and you're not, you're not look at me, i can do this. but it's an amazing thing you can do that kind of scene in one hit. it shows proper dedication. >> well, it's your job, you know? i've worked with many actors that are paid a lot of money and don't show up and know lines. >> any names? >> plenty, plenty. i'll tell you after the show, but it's frustrating to me. you're getting paid a lot of money. we have this amazing job. just show up and be prepared, you know? just work with russell crowe, and the guy is such a pro. we had pages and pages of monologues, the guy, every single time. >> who is the best prepared?

who are the ones you look at and go that's where i want to be? >> russell crowe is extremely prepared, you know, robert duvall is, you know, the consummate professional. when you wanted to get into show business, was part of the allure of it being famous, when you look back to that time? >> i have to say, this is true of a lot of comedians, and i've talked to other comedians and heard them say the same thing, and i defy anyone to deny this. for most of us, it's getting girls to notice us. it really is, and it's -- it's still probably on some level. i'm very happily married, two kids, but there's something initially, especially, in those early days. you notice, you go through the checklist in your mind, what do i have that might interest a girl. i didn't have much. i'm not a good athlete, skin's

not -- down the list, hair's a little silly, name's weird, then i got to -- they laugh. when i start joking around, they laugh and they hang around a little bit. so probably that's the initial, if i'm going to be brutally honest, it was just to get -- >> just to get girls? >> not even get them. to get them to look in my direction, piers, i'm taking it down to a much more basic level. aaron, you said, abdicated responsibility, i've met people who want to carry that torch. i suppose critics would say, look, you got to live in the real world a little bit in the sense if you go to highfalutin with your news coverage, try to do it in the purist sense, what your character does in this show, it doesn't rate, especially if it's not big breaking news. i can tell you for a hard, unpalatable fact, that is true. >> i know it's true. >> it's hard.

so how do you tackle that? you've had your toes dipped in our waters for a while. if you were running a news network, what would you do? >> first, let me back up a bit and say i don't have to live in the real world. i'm a fiction writer. i get to write, you know, a democratic administration that can get things done. and i get to write about a very idealistic newsroom where these guys reach unrealistically high, so they fall down a lot. but we're still rooting for them anyway. but there's no question that the -- the antagonist in this show is -- doesn't come so much in the form of a person, although that's the role jane fonda plays and that's the role that chris messina plays. it's ratings, that if we have a problem in this country with the news, it's at least as much the consumer's fault as it is the provider's fault. but the show doesn't live in the

real world. it seems like it does, because it's set against the backdrop of real news events. we never do fictional news on the show, it's all real. the characters are fictional, not based on anybody, i know you're going to get to that question. but it's -- they are constantly referencing don quixote, brigadoon, camelot, atlantis, and these are all imaginary lost cities. >> unabashedly romantic and idealistic. he excels in that. it's the happy ending. the swashbuckling, he said. and aaron told me, when we started this, by the way, if you're in here to be likable all the time and, you know, it ain't going to work that way, because you're going to fail. will is going to fail miserably, and we do. over the first season, it is a struggle, just like the struggle a lot of these tv journalists

say they are going through. >> and willie is a quite spectacular [ bleep ] from time to time, also. which is why i like him so much. >> thank you. behind the music, there's something for everyone where some of my favorite singers tell their stories. >> i was about to ask you how many times you've been properly in love in your life. >> past is just a blur to me now, piers. it's all just a blur. now is the time. now is all that matters. ♪

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aside from a bruising encounter with one direction on twitter, i generally enjoy talking with musicians, new artists and those whose songs define a generation, then there's a rare occasion i can ask which of their songs means the most to them. >> hello. that was terrible. that was terrible. i got a great tweet here, watching lionel richie, what charisma, fascinating dude, love his funky stuff, not into the balance. >> you know what the answer to that is, he's not in love yet. >> that is true. >> listen, i can tell you the reviews. >> dancing on the ceiling until you meet the right girl. >> there was a reviewer, for years, sappy, syrupy, sticky, gummy, then all of a sudden he reviewed me 20 years later, lionel, do you have another one of those amazing ballots. oh, you're married now?

yes, two kids now, lionel. in other words, until you fall in love, you know nothing of what i'm talking about. >> have you ever made love to your own music? >> you have asked the -- who is this guy? you mean my first love was not enough? >> no, i need more from you. >> the answer is absolutely not. >> never? >> are you kidding me? >> be a bit awkward. >> i love it when someone says, do you whisper? of course, i do. are you kidding me? i'm tacky. >> who is the biggest, most romantic, sexual singer you've ever deployed. >> holy cow, that's pretty interesting. well, marvin gaye. >> has to be, right? >> marvin did it for me. i want to talk about it straight off the top, let's talk about the elephant in the room here. you're one of the most famous country singers ever and are married to one of the most

famous country singers ever. your husband and i have never met, but i feel i know him really well. the reason, the last six years on "america's got talent," i've seen more acts murdering your husband's songs than any other musician or singer alive. if i have to hear one more version of -- ♪ tomorrow never comes -- it gave me ear aches. i want to apologize to him, through you, about the massacring of his music. >> you sort of massacred that yourself. >> wasn't as bad as when i tried to sing "hello" to lionel richie. >> were you really trying? >> you know what, i always like to make the guests feel like they are the star, you know, contrary to popular perception. with you and lionel, you think you're better singers, gives you more confidence. >> ego boost. nice of you, really. >> only sold, what, 10 million albums? >> something like that. what's the worst song you've

written? >> i don't want to say. >> come on. cnn worldwide audience, worst bruno mars song you have written, the one even know makes you come out in a weird sweat. >> me and my partner wrote a song called "bedroom bandit." that's ail all i have to say. i promise you, piers, had you been in the studio, we thought we were going to win 18 grammys off this song. then the next day we called each other up like what were we thinking? >> you've been involved in songs about desperately wanting to be a billionaire. >> and that's the beauty about "billionaire." if you listen to the lyrics of it, it's really not about -- i mean, it is, and we touch on it a little bit, but i wrote "billionaire" when i was flat broke. i just helped write a song for

flo rida, biggest song downloads, it broke records, and i was flat broke. >> how? >> because -- again, i can explain all that. it works differently for songwriters. songwriters, you have to wait for residuals, pray the song is a hit and a year later you might get a check. >> you're seeing this song go around the world, massive, huge, international hit, and you're making nothing? >> and i can't buy a sandwich? >> literally? >> literally. what is the song, of all the songs that you've ever been involved with, what is the one if i said, glenn, you've got five minutes to live, you can play one song to be remembered by, the defining song. >> well, you know, i have my favorite records, you know. >> what's your number one? >> i loved "one of these nights." i thought that was a really

interesting song. i thought it was cowboy, r&b, fuzz tones instead of saxophones. great soul singer, don henley, you know, cool chord progression, mine. that was one of my absolute favorite eagles record >> and who of all the acts out there now, who's the one that excites you, the modern crowd? >> i love adele. i watched the grammys this year, and the grammys, there was a lot of glamour, a lot of dancers, there was a lot of flash, all of that, and then adele came on, everyone was dressed in black, only had white light on her, and she stood there and burned. when we come back, the men and women who inspire us with their quests to be the best. >> yes! yes! yes! yes! >> oh, come on! >> yes!

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anyone who knows me knows i'm a football fanatic, the round ball football. also tended the summer olympics in london and made a bet with former president bill clinton on the ryder cup, which he paid up for, by the way. this year i talked to the biggest names in sports about what it takes to be the very best and what it feels like to

be a world champion. >> what a moment for you, huh, the green jacket. can i touch it? >> go ahead. >> how does it feel? >> feels nice. >> how does it really feel to be bubba watson right now? >> it's overwhelming, people like yourself wanting to talk to me. for me to come to new york and do these interviews and meet you for the first time, it's a special time. >> why have you given me the big, exclusive interview. somebody has told me a rather unnerving reason why. >> because when you were on this other show, "america's got talent," you were a [ bleep ], so i wanted to come here and make fun of you just like you make fun of everybody else. >> i heard that's a reason. that's genuinely why, isn't it? i'm a [ bleep ]. >> exactly. >> i don't care how we got you here. i'll take it. how hard is it for people who have been at the top of boxing, with all the adrenaline and buildup to these fights for months, you get in there, the adrenaline rush, the public

going crazy, then the actual fight, then suddenly it's all over. you don't have it in your life anymore. >> yeah, then you go to drugs, you try to get the high again, but then you realize all the drugs, all the meth, all the cocaine, all the liquor, can't produce that high no more. can't produce that high, then you realize the high comes from within, you know. so many of us, entertainers, just people with a lot of money in general, all failed in that and try to succeed and get happiness through substance. >> do you still, last time i interviewed you, you gave me the feeling that you're not completely confident that you won't blow up again. how do you feel now? >> well, i don't put myself in those situations. i never look at myself as out of it, this can never bother me again. once i think that way, i'm looking for my next hit. once i feel that this is -- i'm the man again, can never get high. any moment now i'm ready for the

next line, that's just who i am. that's how much of an animal i am when it comes to drugs and addiction and stuff. i'm really a nasty animal, and that's how come i'm so happy it's changed my life and i'm with my family and learning how to be a functioning human being in society. this is just so awesome. >> when was the last time you hit a man? >> i don't know, maybe three years ago at the airport. >> oh, the photographer, yeah. good shot? >> yeah. no, i was getting ready to hit the camera, so happy i didn't hit him with the camera, i wouldn't be here. so happy i didn't do that. >> i assume the paparazzi give you a pretty easy ride, right? >> i know how to handle them. i just love them, just love them. last time i saw you play for real was at wimbledon about three years ago, and you were playing, i think, a quarterfinal game against a tiny eastern

european waif. it was the single most brutal thing i have ever seen on any sports arena ever. >> now you're making me feel bad. >> you didn't feel bad at the time. i was inwardly, like, i wanted to get on the court and rescue this poor girl. >> oh, no. >> it was a high form of brutality that was going on. you obliterated her. but what i was struck by was the longer it went on, just the more ruthless you became. the more in the zone, louder, the more physically empowering. it was the most impressive thing i've seen in sports in years. what do you feel when you're going through that kind of process, you're in the zone, and you're winning, what do you experience? >> well, when you're out there, you have to take the winners attitude, at least i do, and i can't go out there thinking i'm feeling sorry, because they are trying to win too. this is my job, to go out and do the best that i can at that moment in time. you never know what happens tomorrow.

what does it take to be a champion, not just any old champion, to be a great champion? >> well, just hard work. for me, it was just hard work and dedication. and, as i said, you just need a team, because for me, i remember this year i was going on and doing well, doing well. and then all of a sudden i got to the trials, i lost, then i was like -- and then i refocused and i really talked to my coach, talked to my friends, talked to my agent buddy, they explained to me, no need to worry, especially my coach. we have three, four weeks to go, one month, put the work, sacrifice a few things and get it done. so i did just that. >> what is it that motivates you most now? is it the winning, is it being the champ, is it money? is it fame, is it the women, is it all of it? >> it's everything. it's all a package. it's all a package. everything comes together, i think.

for me, fans are one of the biggest things for me. i really enjoy going out and performing for the fans. the energy that they give me. when we return, so many scandals in one interview that went right off the rails. yes, i'm looking at you, robert blake. >> it's not about me, is it? >> yes, it is, because you opened that door, charlie potatoes. i'm not going to let -- i'm not going to sit here and let you or anybody else kick the [ bleep ] out of me without defending myself, and you can take that to the [ bleep ] bank, charlie. if you want to show me the door, that's fine, too. [ male announcer ] this is sheldon, whose long dy setting up the news

starts with arthritis pain and a choice. take tylenol or take aleve, the #1 recommended pain reliever by orthopedic doctors. just two aleve can keep pain away all day. back to the news. just two aleve can keep pain away all day. excuse me, sir i'm gonna have to ask you to power down your little word game. i think your friends will understand. oh no, it's actually my geico app...see? ...i just uh paid my bill. did you really? from the plane? yeah, i can manage my policy, get roadside assistance, pretty much access geico 24/7. sounds a little too good to be true sir. i'll believe that when pigs fly. ok, did she seriously just say that? geico. just click away with our free mobile app.

three big names, not a stranger to scandal or tabloid headlines, each told me their sorted stories. only one had me fearing for my safety. here's from an interview i've never done before and i hope i don't have to again. my conversation with robert blake. >> do you remember the night that she died well, or is it now something you blocked out of your head? >> no, i remember it quite well. >> you went and had dinner at this restaurant. >> where are you going? >> i'm interested in what happened. >> no, you're not interested. what are you doing? what the hell are you doing? >> let me help you. there's no one talking to me. you don't got to worry. these are my questions for you, based in my view. >> now you want to know what happened that night? >> i'm curious, yeah. >> you're not curious. i thought you said you researched this so you know what happened that night. >> i know the facts of the night.

i'm curious about -- >> tell me about the facts of the night. >> you take your wife to dinner to a restaurant. >> go ahead. >> your wife goes to the car. you go back to retrieve, as you say, your gun, which is in the restaurant. and when you return, your wife has been shot dead. when they test the gun that you go and retrieve, that is not the same gun that killed her. am i right so far? >> so far. >> factually correct. i have no agenda here, at all. you think i do, but i don't. >> it sounds boring as hell, but go ahead. >> i don't think it's boring, your wife got murdered. >> your questions are boring. even what you said, are you sure people give a [ bleep ] about any of this? >> i think you're here because you've written a book about your life. >> there's a lot more to my life than that night. >> probably nothing more significant. >> bull [ bleep ]. >> than the murder of your wife? >> i didn't murder my wife, it

may be significant to you, but it isn't to me. you said there's nothing more significant. >> than the murder of your wife. >> personally, it's not the most significant thing in my life. the most significant thing in my life is when i was 2 years old and i found an audience. the next most significant thing is when i went to mgm as an extra and three years later, i starred in my first film, you know? america just was going to war, it was the worst time in the world for america, but there's nothing more significant than a little boy with no parents, no friends, nothing, walking into mgm and three years later starring in his first film. you know how significant that is? no, because you've never lived my life. it's my fault. there's no one else to blame for it. i wouldn't even begin to start pointing a finger at anybody,

because the reality is i created it. i created my career and all of those kind of things and the relationship and all of this, but i also screwed up badly, and i take the full blame for it. the key thing now is to kind of, like, figure out how to build all this back and how to gain the trust of the children again and have a good relationship with the kids, which is so important to me. i love my kids dearly, and i love maria. i mean, i love maria. she is been truly the only love that i've ever had, and that's what is so pitiful about it. it's one thing if you have a situation like that and just say, well, i was ready to get out of this situation anyway, out of this marriage, but that's not the case. she was the most perfect wife, and she was extraordinary. >> you've hinted in some of the interviews you've given that you hope to get back with maria, and, in fact, you've gone a bit further and believe from her side there may also be something that she may wish.

do you think there's a good chance you could get back together? >> i cannot speak for maria. she has to speak for herself, but i can only tell you i hope that eventually we can rebuild the relationship and that we will be together as one family. >> what people find most incomprehensible is somebody as successful as you, somebody as rich as you, as politically motivated as you were at the time, would take such an extraordinary risk. by was it actually more complexed? was it the risk you were taking seemed one of the safest risks you could take, that it was with somebody in your home who you could trust, you wouldn't tell anybody, was it more that? >> i would say that it makes no difference. you know, it makes no difference what was going through my mind at that time. it doesn't clean up the mess. it doesn't soften the blow to my family.

i mean, what i've done is just about the stupidest thing that any human being can do. before we get into politics and life and the universe, a certain story has bubbled up this week about you involving a certain videotape. >> yes, sir. >> how are you handling it? >> well, the big white elephant in the room you can't avoid. you take a deep breath. you have to make sure you're honest, because you have to be accountable, and you address it, and at end of the day, you know, pray to god that those that love you and the people close to you, like your friends -- sometimes you don't even know if they are your friends, but your children and your wife knows who you are, and you get on situations like your show and when asked, you know, at the end of the day, you know, you realize it was a horrible choice. i am accountable, and any excuse i make, whether it was a rough time in my life or the people that were there were my friends

and they kind of baited me to it, none of that matters. it's just you're accountable and be honest. >> it must be very humiliating. have you ever been through something quite like this, have yourself having sex on a video people are watching, especially in the internet age, how do you feel about that? >> never, and i've been through a lot of stuff. i've been through a lot of stuff with the federal government back in the '80s, the whole steroid controversy, the divorce, the car wrecks, i've been through so much stuff, but never have i ever been this embarrassed and my world been turned so upsidedown in such a fashion and without knowledge someone would set a camera, poor choice, admitted, i did that. coming up, remembering two of the biggest names in music, whitney houston and dick clark. >> this is the beaver that bit your hand? >> not the same beaver, but exactly like this. here, touch the beaver. >> no. [ horse neighs ] hold up partner. prilosec isn't for fast relief.

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the world lost some beloved entertainers this year, from larry hagman and andy griffith to davy jones of the monkees and adam yauch of the beastie boys, but two stand out, dick clark, the eternal teenager, and the tragic loss of whitney houston. i can tell you're angry about what's happened here. the blame game has begun. a lot of people want to blame bobby brown, a lot of people

want to blame the music business, some people want to blame everyone. what do you think? >> well, it's all of the above and a whole lot more, but it boils down to you. you know, i was introduced to certain people and to certain opportunities to -- to use recreational drugs, and it boils down to whether i want to do it or not. and she was a strong-willed, strong-minded girl, and i can't say that it's all anybody's fault -- >> would she have gone down that route, do you think, without bobby brown in her life? >> well, without him, somebody else. if she wants to get high -- if you want to get high, you're going to get high. >> you think she had that tendency anyway? >> i think that we all as artists, because we're highly sensitive people, and this

machine around us, this so-called music industry, is such a demonic thing. it sacrifices people's lives and their essences at the drop of a dime. we touched earlier on whitney houston, a friend of yours, and you've been quite candid about trying to help her. you rang her or felt compelled to ring her on the night michael jackson died. you realized she may be going through turmoil over that news. tell me about that. >> it was -- and i haven't talked about it publicly. i'm surprised you know that. how do you know that? >> i know everything, tyler. >> i called her that night, had been trying to get her all day, i tried her that night. she had donny hathaway's song blasting in the background. we talked for a while, she was really broken up about his death.

i didn't know if she was thinking about herself, but i was trying desperately for me to get to go over to the house and sit with her to make sure she was okay. whitney, in true fashion, after me trying for about five, ten different times, listen, i'm a mother, i'm a woman, and i'm single, and you're not coming over my house in the middle of the night. in the way only she could. but it's beyond tragic, and i was so disgusted, i must tell you, i was so disgusted at the media and the way that they handled her death. it was -- it was so blatantly disrespectful. the paparazzi, this is what i mean about fame, even in death, trying to get just her body from the morgue to the plane -- >> you supplied the plane, didn't you? >> i did, i did. there was -- it was beyond awful. i tell you, there was -- we tried to send a hearse as a decoy. they found out we had the body in a van, and there were

paparazzi 50 deep following the van. had them move the plane into the hangar, close the door, bring the van in, and one person, one of the hired drivers is trying to take pictures of them putting her body on the plane. it was just beyond disrespectful for her family and everyone else. and i understand she was a superstar, but she didn't deserve to be treated that way in the media toward the end, you know? you knew dick clark for 40, 50 years. an absolute legend of the business. put him in context, historical context, how important was dick clark, do you think? >> well, he was a pioneer. you know, in the early days of television with american bandstand, revolutionized music on television, as we pointed out earlier, talking before we went on, he had blacks and whites dance together. unheard of. a lot of young people watching would say, what, that's crazy. that was crazy then to put that

on. risk taking. then he was involved in so many programs that the public didn't even know. >> here's the thing, i knew you were responsible for this show alone before i came along for 7,000 shows. dick clark, apparently, was responsible in all his guises, for 7,500 hours of television on american television. isn't that amazing? >> amazing. his longevity was amazing. so many things he touched as a producer, as a businessman, he owned a radio network, quiz shows, radio talk shows, television talk shows, he produced donny and marie, going to have donny on, produced their television show. >> if you could bottle the dick clark magic, what would you call it, what was the secret ingredient that he had? >> he was a great generalist. he could do anything. he was very, very good. you wouldn't go around quoting

dick clark, you know, there's no memorable great moments, but he was kind of every man. he was there. he entered the room well. the camera liked him. he was gentle. he was kind. he was smart. he was revolutionary in music. for example, even as he aged, most people get older, you and i -- not saying you're old, we could not name the billboard top ten. >> but he could. >> he could name it. i'm sure he could have named it yesterday. next, some happier moments, big stars playing for laughs, three of my funniest guests of the year. i want you to kiss my chubby fingers the way you just did in that clip. oh, my god, this is the most erotic thing that's ever happened to me. >> you poor baby. from a devastating tornado. man: and now we're helping the east coast recover from hurricane sandy.

we're a leading global insurance company, based right here in america. we're now leaner, and focused on what we do best. we've repaid every dollar america lent us. everything, plus a profit of more than $22 billion. for the american people. aig, we turned it around. thank you, america. thank you, america. thank you, america, for the freedom to insure a brighter future. when we make guarantees for people's lifetimes, we have to act as a company that will make sure we are here for their lifetimes. we made a commitment to repay and we did, and gave america a profit. pretty proud of that. helping people recover and rebuild -- that's what we do. now let's bring on tomorrow.

in my career i've gone head to head with world leaders, ceo's and hollywood superstars. you never know what you're going to get when you sit down with a comedian. what i like about you, you're a

shameless plagerist. you've taken 50 shades of gray, and you a book coming out called 50 shades of chartreuse. >> it's 50 shades of chartreuse, i'm thinking to put #this time it's personal. i just wanted to rip off the title because i thought it was a stupid book. >> did you read it? >> i read the first seven chapters and stopped. >> is there anything in there you hadn't done? >> well, actually, i'm rather conservative. i am not into s & m. >> seriously? >> i don't want to get hit in bed. if you're going to hit me, hit me out in public. >> did you read the entire trilogy? >> it's unreadable. why do women want to read this?

it's one of the most badly written books i've ever read. >> why would you read that? >> i had a pure curiosity. men would never read that stuff in a million years. >> it's a phenomenon. i don't think i would profess to be any of the most scholarly writer, per say, i know my books are silly and stupid. i think they're amusing to some degree. that was so poorly written and -- it was insulting to anyone's intelligence to read that. and then my friends who suggested i would read it. i e-mailed them, you should be ashamed of yourselves for finishing this kind of book. it's a piece of trash. >> what i can't believe is the way you look. we all fell in love back in britain with fat, chubby ricky. >> i wasn't that fat. >> you were fat. you drank a lot of beer. >> you didn't tell me then. >> you just mean i look terrible before.

you should have said then i would have worked out faster. i had to find out myself. i keep throwing out these trousers. >> you were a beer swelling, fish and chip eating bigger guy. >> i still do that, but i discovered working out. >> how much have you lost? >> not much at all, 25 pounds. i've done it by work out. i still eat too much, i still drink too much, but the next day i pun or myself in the gym, i work out like rocky. i feel great, it makes you feel -- >> even your teeth look gleaming. >> i haven't had them done. >> anything to them? >> i got some free -- those things in the luxury lounge once. i thought, they made me gag. >> what made you -- >> i'm fat and disgusting, and didn't clean my teeth.

i had a few pounds, yeah. and the beard helps, that gives you the illusion -- i wear black, i still do that. >> what made you go on this vanity kick? >> it wasn't a vanity kick, it was a health kick. christmas i was 48, i had 11 sausages and i sat there feeling ill. the number of times i'd say, jane i'm having a heart attack. and i thought, you know what, life is good and i don't want to blow it, i don't want to go hold on, just -- what? >> it wasn't just me, because the dashing feature in men's health magazine, with this kickboxing gervais. how ricky gervais totally lost it. he went from barely employed chubby loser to losing the gut and gaining respect.

>> yeah, that's good, isn't it? i'm glad i lived this long to get to comedic oture. otherwise i'd be a chubby chap who stinks and never cleans his teeth. he's died today at the age of 48 by sausages. >> one of my favorite bits of this whole album is when you get together with the doors. you performed reading rainbow. i'd like you to play out the show reading rainbow. >> this is at the doors, we're singing the theme song to reading rainbow. we're just goofing off in my writer's room, we're going like -- ♪ ♪ butterfly in the sky i can go

twice as high ♪ ♪ take a look it's in a book at reading rainbow ♪ ♪ reading rainbow ♪ i can go anywhere. i can go anywhere ♪ ♪ friends who know wait to grow and reading rainbow ♪ ♪ reading rainbow ♪ there's a monster at the end of this book ♪