tv The Bully Effect Anderson CNN March 3, 2013 5:00pm-6:00pm PST
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milwaukee! >> reporter: the viewers loved it, the station loved it, and angelica's mother loved it. this apparently famous weather instrument the witi snow stick probably blushed. maybe angelica wasn't as posh as, say, prince charles, the time he did the weather. >> cold, wet and windy across most of scotland. >> reporter: but at least angelica is not getting teased like al roker did when he described he had a brain freeze. >> you unlock this door with the key of imagination. >> reporter: angelica was in her own zone of ambivalence when she tweeted, i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed. be proud, angelica. they say the truth shall set you free, even if it doesn't free from freezing your butt off doing live shots. >> i'm mad as hell -- >> and it sucks here.
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>> reporter: jeanne moos, cnn, new york. >> she just said on the air what every reporter who has ever covered a snowstorm feels. good for you, angelica. as the world awaits a selection of a new pope, "saturday night live" is getting in on the action. with our own wolf blitzer. well, their wolf blitzer. >> trying to compete in cuteness. how he's attempting an, oh, no, you didn't gesture. not even registering with the crowd. because the new pope is riding a cardinal like a horsey. >> oh, look at that. wow. i can watch that all day, huh? how about that. percy rides in the vatican. that has got to be a first, but probably isn't. >> yes, wolf, she is cute as hell. >> but is she enough to turn the fortunes of this beleaguered church. >> is the pope catholic? >> she is not.
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and i don't think anyone cares. >> all right. that's great. i'm alina cho. see you back here at 10:00 p.m. eastern time. eastern time. see you then. -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com an extraordinary documentary called "bully" describes something we hear about, but rarely see. how children treat each other when adults aren't around. what was filmed was so raw, so eye opening, it raised alarm bells how critical and dangerous the problem of bullies has become. but something else also happened. in a year since "bully" was released the filmmaker has gone on a profound journey, and in some cases undergone profound
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transformations. we spent the past year documenting those journeys and you'll see them tonight. you don't have to have seen the film to understand the plate of the characters in it. but after tonight you might just want to. we do want to warn you, some of what you'll hear and see tonight is disturbing. but we think it's important that you see it, and hear it, because it will help you understand what kids out there are really facing. some partnership with the cartoon network, here is the bully effect. >> by sharing his story, alex is given a voice to the millions of kids who suffer in silence. let's show him our love, our gratitude, please give a big welcome to alex libby. [ cheers and applause ]
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>> i want to talk to you about -- about bullying. and what i went through, and what many people go through. most of the shy kids out there, they're afraid that they'll get picked on if they actually show who they really are. being me, i learned that it wasn't me, it was them. [ applause ] >> they punched me in the jaw. strangled me.
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>> everything that happened to me on that bus, happened every day, if not worse. some of them i grew up with, but they turned on me because they didn't want to get bullied. >> hey, you're my buddy, okay? >> i'm not your buddy. i'll cut your face. >> i know what you're saying. i laughed about it, because i wanted a friend. and strangely enough, you know, if my smile was going to make me feel better, and continue throughout these years of
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bullying, then that's what i did every day. i really didn't feel anything. i didn't feel the pain that i endured. i didn't feel like i cared about anything anymore. i didn't feel any emotion whatsoever. i felt depression, that was it. >> i had a huge fear, because alex has always been the type to act. and i would lay out with my husband at night and, you know, i'd just cry and say, what if he decides he doesn't want to be here anymore. i mean, at that point there was really only one more way for him to disengage. he was failing out of school. he wasn't involved with the family at all. he didn't have any friends. he was fading. and we just couldn't bring him
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back. and enter lee. >> we were going to film in this middle school for the year. and it was actually the first day of school. and we saw alex by himself. the way the world was moving by him, and not noticing him, and he looked so sad. and no one cared. and i thought that this might be a kid that's experiencing bullying. i was able to share with him that, you know, i had gone through that. and how hard it was to talk about it. i think that really gave him a lot of courage.
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>> the particular thing that was really terrifying for me was getting home from school. i didn't take a bus, i had to walk. i was always trying to find a route where, like, i wouldn't get beat up. i got punched so much, that i didn't have black and blue marks, my arms were just like this permanent shade of yellow. and the thing that i really carried into making this film was just how difficult it was to really explain what was happening. crazy. this is the middle school i went to. this was a place where i had a pretty hard time. it was very difficult to talk to my father about it. my dad fought in world war ii, and he just was this really tough guy. his response was, you know, just man up. don't be a pussy basically.
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and that was very, very difficult, because you stop going for help. you give up. we had this idea that if we could get 1 million kids to see the film, and their educators, and their parents, and the community, that that would create an undeniable ripple. and that that would be very much like a tipping point in our country. it was kind of a bold idea. it was a huge number. a lot of people thought, you're crazy. but generally, like when people call you crazy, then i think i'm on to something good.
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my name's kirk. on that particular day, this kid that had been picking on my son for over two years, kind of started picking on him again. i guess he'd finally had enough. he retaliated. he was suspended for three days. they called his mama and she went and picked him up and took him home. she told him we'd talk about it when i got home that evening. my wife came home at 2:38 p.m. she found out that he had killed
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but what does that leave for us. the ones who are left behind. >> one month and seven days after he killed himself, it was on father's day. i couldn't sleep. and that day just loomed and loomed on the horizon. and when it finally came, i just -- i knew i had to do something. and so i made a promise to kyle on that day that i was going to stop bullying in this world. i don't break promises. >> this is the world
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headquarters. stand for the silent was originally started by 68 high school kids. they heard about what happened to ty. and so me and the kids, we set and we talked and we decided that we were going to tack rl bullying across the world. one day, i did three school presentations, and on that day there was a young man that killed himself in oklahoma city. and it broke my heart. because i just knew that if i had done four presentations, and that fourth one would have been at his school, i might have made a difference in that young man's decision. we take it personal. every child that does this is one of ours. >> these are some things kids have done. they're awesome. they've all connected with ty. they've posted on his wall, i wish i could have known you. we would have been best friends.
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>> i would give this whole world, and everything in it, my own life, if i could put my baby back into his mama's arms for five minutes. just one more time. >> this is just some pictures of ty. and laura and i. ty was a good kid. he wasn't an angel. he was our angel. he was always trying to make a good impression on somebody else's day. just make them have a better day. do whatever he had to to make you smile. you know? but he was too small. he was just real little for his age. and that put a big target on him.
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i think that our boy would be proud of me. i think i feel him with me when i'm talking to these kids. you're not supposed to bury your kids. i know for a fact that there is a reason that we were put on this path, no matter whether we want to be here or not. we're not doing it for ty. we're doing it for all the other kids out there.
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it's 5:30 in the morning, and we are headed to chelsea, oklahoma, to give two presentations. as of yesterday, we have talked to 521 schools across the world. we've talked to a little over 618,000 kids. we don't charge to go and do a presentation at a school. we never will. sometimes schools will make a donation. we've been so busy trying to keep other kids from taking their own lives. how many of you in here right now have ever been picked on, bullied? put them up. get them up high. i love you. how many of you in here right now are bullies?
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>> bullying got so bad at school, that we feared for his safety. >> i thought he would stop and talk to me. instead he sped up and ran over me. oh whoa. hello? yes. i didn't realize i'd be talking to an actual person. you don't need to press "0," i'm here. reach a person, not a prompt whenever you call chase sapphire. why should saturday night have all the fun? get two times the points on dining in restaurants, with chase sapphire preferred.
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the lightning. and just kind of been a little tradition to come up to this hill. we've been together for three years and three months. been through a lot. >> been through a lot. >> i tried to commit suicide three times. >> once kelby came out, and the town learned about her, it was overnight. we've pretty much been isolated here. there are people that we spent years with, side by side, coaching their children, that will not even wave to us anymore, look at us. >> they made it very clear that i wasn't welcome at the school. the teacher was calling roll,
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and said, boys, and he said girls, and then paused and said, kelby. and another teacher told me how they burned fags and kept talking about it with me in the classroom. and everyone was laughing. and they knew it was hurting me and they kept going. >> i offered her the out, i said, you know, we can go somewhere bigger, somewhere where it's not going to be like a microscope, and you're not going to be an outcast. if you want to do that, i understand, we'll go. and from the very first day, she said no. if i leave, they win. the bullying got so bad at school, that we feared for her safety. >> we were out walking at lunch, and a group of boys drove around the block about five times. poking us with things, yelling things at us. the sixth time they drove around
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i stepped into the road and asked them to stop. instead, he sped up and ran over me. and when i rolled onto the ground, he drove away. >> and the kid driving the van said, she didn't move and i didn't slow down. you get what you tolerate. and to see what was being tolerated in the schools, i couldn't do it. i could not idly stand by and let that happen. >> my dad actually made the decision that something needs to be done. i can't let you go into that school knowing whether or not you're going to come home. so my junior year we actually decided to take me out of skoofl and i went and got my ged. the disappointment of not walking across the stage and feeling that sense of accomplishment, it will always be there. and i've slowly come to peace with that.
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>> are you excited? >> very excited. it's my favorite time of year. today is our family reunion. we're going to go down to palm city and see everyone. >> how are you? >> i never regretted coming out. the hurt of what other people were saying was less than having to hide who i was every single day. luckily, you know, i always had my family to go home to. and they were always there to support me. >> the lord god has been so good to us. one great thing you have given to us is this family, unity, together. >> i grew up in a very religious
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household. the gay lifestyle, especially in this part of the country, it's so shunned and so disliked. the reaction from the church, when kelby came out of the clos closet, if you or any member of your family is homosexual, you cannot hold any position of authority in the church. >> my parents were sunday schoolteachers. they were involved in pretty much every aspect of the church that they could get involved in. >> since that day we have not been back. i will never doubt my belief in a creator, in a god. my understanding of that god has changed completely, however, because of this situation. we realize that no matter how hard we fight, the heart of this town is not going to change. so now the question becomes, what can we do to make things better for kids. >> when the movie came out, i
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really found, i want to say my purpose. >> kelby and i flew out to washington, d.c. on behalf of federal legislation. i actually had the chance to meet one on one with president obama, and i wanted to thank him for support as a father and thank him for endorsing those pieces of legislation. bully has given us a voice. i've got a voice now. and it's important that i not lose sight of that. and i'll continue this fight every single day until we feel like the heart of this country has started to come around. and i think we're getting there. >> i know there are kids that watched this movie who feel alone, or maybe who are right there on the edge. if 1 million kids saw this movie, maybe it saves their lives.
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>> this is like my fifth, kind of formal screening in washington. hopefully there will be some folks from both sides of the aisle that haven't seen the film yet that i think hopefully will be more driven, more inspired to take action, or to stand behind legislation. >>. [ applause ] >> this movie was really created to put this in front of america in an honest and real way so that we couldn't argue anymore about whether this was worth our time. we have an initiative to bring it to no less than 1 million students. now is the time to take a stand. the issue has risen and risen and risen in our country, and i believe today marks the beginning of a tipping point. >> i'm upset enough, i don't want him to ride that bus
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i'm going to ask you guys to shake hands. can you do that? >> yeah. >> shake hands. cole. cole? >> what? >> you are not going anywhere. he is offering his hand. and let this drop. you may go. cole, i expected more. >> he criticizes me every single day. >> then why are you around? >> i don't. he comes around me. if i try to get away from him, he follows me. he's calling me a p-u-s-s-y. >> that's not right. he was trying to say he was sorry. >> he already did, and he didn't mean it. >> you didn't mean it when you stuck your hand out either. so that means you're just like him. right? what you don't like in him -- >> except i don't hurt people.
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>> by not shaking his hand, you're just like him. >> like somebody who punches you into walls, threatens to break your arm, threatens to stab you and kill you. >> he apologized. and have you reported all that sort of stuff? >> yes. >> okay. then it's been taken care of. >> and all of them said, even the cops said -- told him to stay away from me. and he doesn't. >> all right. can you try to get along? i think you guys might be really good friends at some time. >> we were. and then he started bullying me. >> the assistant principal at alex's school. the violence became so apparent, we had to bring that footage to both the parents and also the school. to show them the images of what was happening. but i think ultimately we made the right decision by sharing
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that with kim and alex's parents. >> how can i help you guys? >> i'm very upset. i'm upset enough i don't want him to ride the bus anymore. >> what bus is he on? >> 54. >> it's absolutely not acceptable. they're stabbing him with pencils. and choking him. and -- >> buses are notoriously bad places for lots of kids. you know, i wish i could say i could make it stop on that, but i'm not going to lie to you. i can't. but what we can do is get him on another bus. >> so if i put him on another bus, i have, what, little to no guarantee he'll be safe on that bus either? >> i've ridden 54. i've been on that route. i've been on a couple of them. they are just as good as gold. >> you send your kids to school with the assumption that they're
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in someone else's care who's just as capable as you. i don't feel that. he's not safe on that bus. >> we will take care of it. >> what did she say when we were leaving, we'll take care of it? i'm pretty sure that's what she said in the fall. she politicianed us. she's not going to do anything. >> my opinions on kim lockwood. shirk my son. she had no concept of how to deal with any of those children. i'm torn, because i'm a good person, and i want to be forgiving. but she didn't ask to be forgiven, so i guess i don't have to.
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>> a lot of people will jump really hard to say she's so bad at what she does, or that she doesn't get it. i think sometimes people are quick to judge. it's really hard for me to judge. i've never done that job. the gift that she gave this film is that it really allows people to talk about what happens, what the minutia, that kids don't feel like adults have their backs, or parents feeling like their struggles are not being heard. >> we went to the premiere in new york. two weeks later, i got a call saying there was an altercation with my daughter at the same school.
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because she now went to the same school alex went to in the film. and she got punched in the face on the playground. and the side of her face was black and blue and swollen. and ultimately we just decided we went about our own. so we left. >> isn't it time that we make it stop? if we just stand together, we stick together and just keep spreading that message until the whole wide world hears it.
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good morning. >> i'm here to tell you about what happened to ty, and i'm hoping that by doing that, you guys can help me make sure that this doesn't happen again to another kid. or another family. the main part of our message is, not to stand silent and watch it happen. and that's addressing the bystanders. let's be real. your school can't stop bullying. they can't do it. they can help you. they can support you.
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they can't stop this. only you can. >> what these kids did here, guys, that's a permanent solution for a temporary problem. that is never an option, ever. we get those kids that come up and say, i had a plan. >> my brother was always taking attention. >> that's never an answer. you've got to make it stop, okay? together we can do that. we can change it. i love you. i have an e-mail folder labeled suicide messages. that's the kids that say i was going to kill myself.
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and that's full of just thousands of messages. how many of you in here right now have ever been picked on, bullied? get them up. get them up high. look around. i love you. you are somebody. i've got another question for you. how many of you in here right now are bullies? i love you. you are somebody. these are things that we get from kids. dear mr. smalley, i'm so sorry for the loss of your child. we'll stop bullying the. the reason i cried the most is not long ago i bullied someone
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and didn't realize i was. thanks to you, i've changed that. when we go to the school, we try to get the school to start a chapter i stand for the silent. the chapter is a group of kids committed to making a change in their hallways and in their community. look out for these little dudes, okay? we try to get the older kids to teach the young ones how far a bystander can get involved and make it stop. right now, we have a total worldwide of 365 chapters. we've got chapters as far away as australia, bangor, india, sweden, norway, iceland. we've got one in haiti. we've spread our message around the world. we love you guys. let's get this rolling. we're not the amazing ones. it's these babies. we go on and light a little spark. they blow it into a big fire and they just keep it going and going and going.
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they're the heroes. they're our heroes. i'm telling you, i believe in you. you believe in you. tell me, i am somebody. raise this roof. >> i am somebody! >> that is what i'm talking about. >> i'm really, really, really excited to be here this morning in cleveland. if you're someone in this room today that has been bullied, is being bullied, i want you to know that i made this film for you. [ applause ] it's really gratifying when we
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do events. lots of kids want to come up and talk about what they're going through. >> over and over again about how you look, what they do, name calling or picking on others. >> talking about their race. >> or because of their weight. >> are bullied kids weak? >> no. >> they're strong. i mean, to get up in the morning and know you're going to be treated like crap, and you're still trying to get your grades and find your way forward, that's strength. i do the best that i can. you want to give them something that's going to inspire them. i promise you, if you keep looking, you'll find somebody who will say, i was bullied, too. what can we do to help you. okay? and don't ever let it tear you up inside. because you're strong and you're amazing. and you've got to know that. a lot of kids who are being bullied don't believe that anyone will have their back. because they've given up.
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a lot of the amazing kids that i meet through 1 million kids feel that way. >> i love you. i love you. >> the more people are changing their perspectives on the issue of bullying, the more likely it is they'll find someone right in their school, in their community to fight on their behalf until they have justice, until they feel safe. >> he's completely different. everything about him is different. he is much more outgoing. much more confident in what he has to say. >> alex the superstar!
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the film to their students. we want schools to really use it as a tool after they screen the movie, so that they're going back into groups and talking about what the film brings up. >> we're actually going to look at a clip that you've seen on friday. alex on the bus. i want you two tables right here to look at the lens of the perpetrators. there's a number of them on the bus. i want you to look at the bistanding behavior, okay? and then this table, your task is hard. i want you to look at who is standing up, who are the upstanders in this clip? >> why do you think people chose not to act in that clip? >> because they didn't want to get bullied, too. >> so they had choices, but they chose not to do anything. so what do we call that
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behavior? >> bistanding behavior. you see tools used in the film with alex, that did not work. i want you to think about the tools that you have to fight bullying. >> hey! >> hey. >> he's completely different. everything about him is different. he is much more outgoing. much more confident in what he has to say. he speaks up a lot more. >> stand up for them. >> he's become quite the advocate for other people. >> i like helping people. i make people realize they're not alone. and that they have beauty inside them. they just have to let that shine. >> if you were still being bullied, what would you do? >> if i was still being bullied right now, i would tell someone. >> alex's change comes from kind of being forced into the public eye, and i think that it helped
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being embraced by so many people for what he had to say. >> now i have a higher drive and a higher hope in myself. i'm also a dancer. >> yeah! >> the girls and all that is new for us. but he's become quite a respectful young man, i think. the ladies like him. >> you guys are adorable. >> i think he's precious. >> i've had so many girls ask me out all over the country. but i'll just say, one at a time, please, or something like that. i have this whole section for bullying. >> yeah? >> the thing that really deeply
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gives me a sense of great satisfaction is watching alex now. ♪ i'll be anything ♪ i'll be there >> he's winning in every way. that's about us. nothing prepared me for the day when we were in san francisco and alex was getting a youth award. and it was from hip-hop artist sean kingston, someone alex had looked up to. >> i heard you're a rapper. >> yes. >> and alex literally says, hey, sean, can i drop some rhymes. and sean kingston was like, ah, okay. >> any subjects that you want to -- >> bullying. >> bullying? i'll see what i can do.
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