but now, with once-a-day xarelto®, jim's on the move. jim's doctor recommended xarelto®. like warfarin, xarelto® is proven effective to reduce afib-related stroke risk. but xarelto® is the first and only once-a-day prescription blood thinner for patients with afib not caused by a heart valve problem. > welcome to our viewers around that doesn't require routine blood monitoring. the united states and the world. so jim's not tied to that monitoring routine. [ gps ] proceed to the designated route. not today. [ male announcer ] for patients currently well managed on warfarin, there is limited information on how xarelto® and warfarin compare in reducing the risk of stroke. xarelto® is just one pill a day taken with the evening meal. plus, with no known dietary restrictions, jim can eat the healthy foods he likes. do not stop taking xarelto®, rivaroxaban, without talking to the doctor who prescribes it as this may increase the risk of having a stroke. aurora, this builds up over time. sandy hook. get help right away if i had it, things would be if you develop any symptoms like bleeding, unusual bruising, much worse. or tingling. joshua cook says he has the you may have a higher risk of bleeding

answer. if you take xarelto® with aspirin products, nsaids or blood thinners. he is known as the matrix murder. talk to your doctor before taking xarelto® >> i would see myself in that if you have abnormal bleeding. role. the teenager who picked up a xarelto® can cause bleeding, which can be serious, shotgun and killed his parents and rarely may lead to death. you are likely to bruise more easily on xarelto® in their suburban home. now he tells his story in an and it may take longer for bleeding to stop. exclusive prison interview. tell your doctors you are taking xarelto® >> i don't blame anyone but before any planned medical or dental procedures. myself. the crime, the confession, and a before starting xarelto®, warning about the next. tell your doctor about any conditions such as kidney, liver, or bleeding problems. >> these people were ticking time bombs. >> this is a special "piers xarelto® is not for patients with artificial heart valves. morgan live," inside the killer. jim changed his routine. ask your doctor about xarelto®. >> ten years since joshua did once a day xarelto® means no regular blood monitoring -- the unthinkable. february 17th, 2003, the no known dietary restrictions. 19-year-old picked up a shotgun, pulled the trigger, killing them for more information and savings options, call 1-888-xarelto or visit goxarelto.com. both. how could he murder his parents, why did he do what? he has kept the motive a mystery until now. is that true? the first time the killer dubbed says here that cheerios has whole grain oats the matrix murderer is speaking that can help remove some cholesterol, out in headlines across america. and that's heart healthy. put him behind bars for ♪ 40 years. this is more than one man's [ dad ] jan?

story of crime and punishment. he thought about columbine, sandy hook and aurora and wants to speak to troubled people who might be thinking about doing something similar. he joins me for his first-ever interview and i asked him about that winter day in 2003. >> you have had lots of time to think about what happened on that day. why do you believe you kill your parents? >> that is a good question, piers. i think i would have to say that it was a combination of things. i would have to say there was bullying, there was abuse, there was psychological factors. psychological factors i didn't know about until after i got incarcerated. i found out my biological parents were schizophrenic. and i wish i had known this

things when i was younger but i didn't. i did not know. but i am not blaming anyone else, i take full responsibility for what a did. i have a lot of rage, anger, and hate to the world. hate to people who hurt me and things like that. >> you were adopted by your parents at the age of six or seven with your sister who was your biological sister. whenever these -- whenever let's go back to the day of the these incidents happen, there is crime. several things that pop into my mind because i've been there. you were 19 years old. >> teen killer joshua cook on you were pretty obsessed with violent video games and in the horrific mass shootings in america. particular you were obsessed joshua cook who murdered his with the movie, the matrix. parents when he was 19 understands what killers like do you remember watching" the adam lanza is going through, but matrix" repeatedly and the movie does he? is there any way to stop a madman before it's too late? games and the effect it had on i bring in my guests and javier you. amador the founder of the leap >> when i would watch "the matrix" i would see myself in

that role. institute. i would see my shelf shooting the bullies and people that hurt me in my life, and this movie welcome to you-all. was a type of release of javier, let me start with you, what was your reaction to this interview? aggression, and it actually made me feel better when i would unusual to hear a young shooter like this, very much of the watch it. so i watched this movie hundreds demographic we've seen with so of times, and i watched it so many mass shootings recently much, at one point that the tape being so candid. wore out and i had to buy a new one, and the video games were the same, played the same part. what did you make of it? >> i think he was extremely candid with you and took responsibility. at the same time, what really struck me and i've seen this video games like grand theft with people with serious mental illness. auto, blood rain, resident evil, it appears he has schizophrenia is he is cobbling together the doom, quake, a lot of these shooter games. story this many years later. the mental problem or anger, when i would play these games, i just -- it did a lot for me mentally where i could release when you asked what were you thinking that night? my aggression with these games, he didn't have an answer. he didn't understand and that was the function of a broken and i could almost bring my brain, to understand the fantasies to fruition the way i impulses that were leading him would just immerse myself in to pick up a shotgun and go and these games. sometimes i would play them 12 shoot his mother and father. >> cheryl olson, an extraordinary thing to do to kill both your parents in this

manner. he's quite articulate. to 15 hours a day without leaving my room and i would have food and all kinds of things he's quite intelligent sounding stashed in my room so i wouldn't and yet, one day he randomly have to leave. i did that for all my high picks a gun up and blows both school years and into college, his parents away. and i ended up flunking out of what did you think of his college because that's all i did justification, or his excuse, if all day was play these games. you like he had been driven to >> there are people who say there can be no link between this by watching "the matrix" these violent games and the kind and the bodies song. of shootings that we see as a can this be a link to what these result of people like adam lanza shooters do? who played them and committed the atrocity at sandy hook, but >> the first thing you have to i always believed it would be very conceivable that you could keep in mind is the number of people that play violent video turn to violence, if you games of watch "the matrix" and a lot of them don't hurt anybody, let alone kill parents. yourself were mentally unstable. do you believe now that that was the case? i did a study on children 13, 14, 15 years old and the boys i >> well, to put it bluntly, i know that there is something studied and 2/3rds of them were wrong with me in my head, but like i said, i don't blame it -- playing a mature violent video game like grand theft auto on a what i did on anyone else but i do think many times in my life regular basis.

i have thought that i may have >> he said eric harris and dylan some form of schizophrenia and i had a psychologist diagnose me klebold were hero figures to with a form of simple him. this young man arrested for schizophrenia. plotting an attack on his oregon that type has been discounted by school, a similar hero worship for what happened at columbine, some doctors, but i think there an attempt to copy cat this. is some type of schizophrenia how much is a problem with that there. where unstable young people who are perhaps disenfranchised from i never had a psychological workup or brain scan. society want to make a stir for i wanted that but never had themselves, get in the that. it's possible i inherited some headlines, become infamous? of these types of -- this type >> 99.9% of those who watch the news about columbine and other of illness. >> you were fascinated by the columbine killers because they shooting identify with the pain and suffering of the victims and pray every day that a columbine also claimed to have been won't happen in their school. but a very small fraction admire and identify with the bothered by bullies. you repeatedly watched a video that harris and klebold made perpetrators, their power called hit man for hire, they they -- not only admire the fact were, of course, the columbine shooters and they talk about that they got evil with the killing bullies. bullies but famous for it. it's important to distinguish

how much was that playing on shedding light on the crime. your mind, do you think, during this period leading up to what piers, you said something you did? >> it impacted me a lot. important. this movie and that shooting are someone who is already unstable, two things that basically they radically changed my life and in a person whose content with both movies they wore black their life and perfectly happy trench coats and klebold and is not going to go on a rampage because they see someone else do it or play a video game. you have all the other harris were affiliated with the trench coat mafia. conditions have to be there, then people like klebold and i identified with what they went harris can be a role model in through, not to say that they terms of how they express their were, you know, any kind of good guy or hero but back then they proclivity towards violence. were, for me they were. >> for anyone to do a kind of random act of mass shooting or unfortunately, i'm sorry to say slaughter, they have got to be that and it's sick and i had a lot of time to think about it and come to realize but back mentally unstable, i mean, normal people who don't have a then they were my heroes. i would look at them and almost mental health issue simply don't idolize them and i wanted to be do that or am i wrong? is there just a state of pure with them, one of them. evil? so i got -- the thing with the can you do it without being mentally unstable? >> i get asked that all the time on the stand. black trench coat, i really -- it was really me relating to neo dr. amador isn't everybody that

kills somebody mentally unstable? but the columbine shooters and no. the majority of people don't that scenario with the columbine shooters, the trench coat symbol kill people. utilized my pain, aggression, look, in this case, something is different. i think maybe 100 years from now we'll see something different in frustration and homicidal and the brains on people who kill in suicidal mentality at the time. this way. and in fact, there is research emerging around schizophrenia, untreated and the kinds of it was really a period about racing thoughts, perhaps four years between columbine and delusions that this young man when i got arrested. had. and this period i got deeper and deeper into a hole that i he was trying to drown out, he tells you in the interview really in a very poignant way he couldn't get out of and i got more and more homicidal and just was trying to drown out the thoughts he was having to listen basically my rage and my anger that song tonight say the song and my hate were building up. it was a ticking time bomb and caused it is confusing the egg it was only a matter of time for the chicken here. before it exploded. >> you heard joshua cook say he was a ticking time bomb. >> sharon olson, in terms of the he talks about the moment he decided to murder his parents but first, an extraordinary video game impact, is it possible as i've always believed message from cook. it must be the case that 99% of all young people that play these he speaks directly to anyone who may think of committing a copy games, even if they play them

cat crime. relentlessly will never have a problem but the tiny percent of people that can have >> if you're watching me and you're contemplating multiple, schizophrenia, it per sip tate some kind of outrage? mass murder, i want you to know something, i understand you. i've been where you are. i know -- i know how you've come >> when i give advice to parent to where you are mentally and whose are concerned about video why you're considering murder and suicide and things like games, one of the things i that. usually point out how common the use is and i would say i would be concerned of young people that don't have other ♪ influences, isolating themselves [ female announcer ] when your swapportunity comes, take it. and dropping things they used to ♪ enjoy and focussing on a solo what? what? what? activity. [ female announcer ] yoplait. it is so good. they could be emersed in violent what? what? ♪ literature or violence or games or moving away from positive influences and getting alone with their thoughts, i would worry about that. >> i would agree with you because the critical issue here is this young man was completely isolated and what was he doing with all of his time? watching video games. >> let me bring in james fox. you're not made of money, do you agree with that?

so don't overpay for boat insurance. >> i think the video game playing is a symptom, not a cause. all the factors in his life, the geico, fact he didn't have success in see how much you could save. school, didn't have success in relationships with the girls, didn't have a lot of friends, that basically drove him toward loneliness and immersing hip self-with video games. video games was a reflection of his lifestyle, not a cause of his violent behavior. you mentioned lanza before. adam lanza was socially with drawn, uncomfortable and so he played video games throughout his entire life day after day after day. that didn't cause the violent episode, it was caused by the very same factors that caused the violent episode. >> okay. let's take a short break. when we come back, i want to talk to you about what joshua cooke said about assault weapons and he thanks god he didn't have an ar-15 style assault rifle. [ male announcer ] when you have sinus pressure and pain, you feel...squeezed. congested. beat down. crushed.

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written by people just like you. no company can pay to be on angie's list, so you can trust what you're reading. angie's list is like having thousands of close neighbors, where i can go ask for personal recommendations. that's the idea. before you have any work done, check angie's list. find out why more than two million members count on angie's list. angie's list -- reviews you can trust. i love you, angie. sorry, honey. this is a "piers morgan live" special inside the mind of a killer. joshua cook was 19 when he shot his mother and father ten years ago. he said movies and video games like the matrix fueled his thoughts. he said the same things happen

to other killers and will happen again. he's serving a 40-year prison term and told me about the day he killed his mother and father and how easy it was to get his hands on the weapon. you purchased a gun. do you remember where you got the gun, and were you subjected to any kind of background check? >> yeah, i do remember. i bought the shotgun from a guy in sporting goods store in virginia, and there was a background check. i was actually coming off from work. i was working at jiffy lube at the time and at the time i stopped by the store and picked it up. they did a background check. the clerk showed me how to use the gun because i never held one before, and within an hour, maybe an hour or two i was taking the gun home with me. >> and was your intention when you purchased the gun to murder your parents?

>> actually, it wasn't. at the time i didn't know if i would do it. it had been running through my mind, but i didn't know if i really would do it or when or anything like that, but i had a lot of evil, violent murderous thoughts running through my mind constantly, but it was definitely a possibility i could do it soon, i just didn't know for sure, you know. >> but did your adoptive parents do you think have any real idea of what you were going through but for all these symptoms, in your head? you also take kaopectate. new kaopectate caplets -- soothing relief for all those symptoms. >> they didn't know really what kaopectate. one and done. was going on. they had a small idea that, you know, i was a troubled kid, and in someways they had kind of given up on me, especially in my high school years, but i used to i thank god i didn't have an ar-15 or some other type of ask my parents about my biological parents all the time assault weapon. and they would never tell me anything and this was of great frustration to me. because the way i was back then i always wanted to know who they were, what type of people they mentally, i would have gone to were, you know, anything, health the mall that night or to one of my old high schools the next

concerns they may have had. morning and killed as many i never got to know any of those people as i possibly could. type of things. my parents wouldn't let me know. so this was one thing i was >> ten years after he murdered frustrated about. his parents with a shot going, i remember my mom telling me to joshua cooke says he's a changed shut up one time when i asked man and he's not the same man. her about it. should we believe him? >> but they never mistreated you, your adoptive parents. back now with my panel. >> well, my adoptive parents, my father wasn't like that with me, but my mother would beat my javier, let me start with you on sister and i a lot, and there that. you can say okay, he believes if would be times, you know, this happens with kids, you know, you he had an assault weapon, he wet the bed and things like that, she could come in the room would have caused carnage. and basically, she would force we'll never know. our faces into the urine and clearly something flipped to make him kill his parents. make us sleep in the wet bed and what do you think of the gun smack us and call us disgusting aspect of this? >> i believe him. and if you -- and there was a and look, some things are just obvious. "washington post" article ten if he had had an assault weapon years ago and my sister and he did what he did, it corroborates she went through likely would have gone further. that seems likely. the same thing and we talked but the best predictor of future about it the day after, and this behavior is past behavior.

this is a guy who was not happened often. violent. his violence for how many and we were terrified of our minutes was he violent? in terms of predicting is he a mother. changed man? we were terrified of her. i don't think that's the question. with my mother, there was a lot the question is, is his illness of abuse with my adoptive mother. >> on the day you decided you controlled? were going to kill them, you is he being treated in prison? were playing various musical the man himself, if you look at the trajectory of his life, is not a violent man. records. >> what's fascinating about the one that was key to this was these recent shooters, if you look at james holmes in aurora, a song called let the bodies hit the floor, a song called bodies. adam lanza at sandy hook and you go back to tucson and others, what was going through your head these are young men, as i said as you heard that music? ♪ let the bodies hit the floor, earlier, disenfranchised they feel by society, who flip and let the bodies hit the floor ♪ commit these outrages. >> i had been listening to the song for a year non-stop and i he's another one, joshua cooke, had so much hate and rage inside that calls into that category. of me, i knew it was leading to do you believe that they can murder. just grow out of, this even if so the song "bodies" from they have a condition like schizophrenia? >> well, to some extent we do know that people are at their "drowning pool" was similar to violent peak early adulthood and many do grow out of it. the video games, made me feel

let me challenge this idea that better when i listened to it, cooke would have done much more and i would have these constant had he had an assault weapon. evil hateful thoughts running through my mind. >> there is some evidence jared he killed his parents, then loughner who shot gabby giffords called 911. didn't matter what weapon he and others listened to that song had. before committing appalling he wasn't going anywhere afterwards, whether he happen an incidents. the group says it's about a mosh assault weapon or shotgun, he did what he did. it's easy for him to say i would pit, not murder. have done a lot more if i had an assault weapon, but he was going do you think violent musical nowhere. video and music can have a >> that's an interesting point, isn't it? profound disturbing effect on he could be just saying that people who may themselves be because he knows i have a position on assault weapons. unstable? he might be trying to ingratiate himself in some way to make me more sympathetic to him. >> he's trying to make sense of it as well, and say well, it could have been worse. maybe i'm not as evil a person >> i believe so, especially on as i thought i was. the young mind. you know, a young person's mind is -- it's very easy to lead a young person's mind into things like that, and easy to influence, you know, i can say that from experience. what you see on tv and media and one of the things that struck me things like that, it can about video games, the idea of using games to get your anger radically affect you if looking out. at that for extended periods of it seems like he wasn't entirely

time, it can really affect a blaming the media, but also young person's mind if it goes talking about how he tried to work with them, and the research i did, i had boys say a lot, i unchecked. use video games to forget my problems, get my anger out. >> the moment that you decided i had a bad day at school, the that you were going to kill your teacher yelled at me, soy went parents, why did you decide they home and put in grand theft auto, then i felt calmer and better. to a certain point, self-medicating with video games had to die and what then can be healthy, but it can also happened? make things worse and that may have been the case. >> that's a good question. i was at a point in my life where i didn't care about anyone or anything anymore, and i wanted to die. >> if violent people are drawn to violent entertainment, that's so as i said before, i was what they enjoy. thinking these murderous thoughts for a long time, and so it shouldn't surprise us if the day that it happened, i had -- i had actually helped my mass shooters have an interest in violent entertainment. parents shovel the snow out of >> a final question for everybody, javier, did you the driveway, and i didn't really feel right that whole believe him? >> yes, i did. day, and i just knew that i >> james fox? wanted to die, and i wanted my >> about some things yes, some things no.

life to end, my life as i knew >> cheryl? it back then, i wanted it to end and i had a lot of hate for my >> i think he said it the way he sees it. >> i think that's probably the right answer. mother and for my father. and so at the end of the day, thank you all very much indeed. it's a fascinating insight, whatever it is, into the mind of after i had finished playing all somebody who just killed his parents. these violent video games, i was you can't imagine something of sitting on my bed and i picked that nature, but there it is. joshua cooke himself told me up the shotgun, and i turned on psychological help can make a difference in cases like his. thank you all very much indeed. the bodies song and i looked up at the matrix poster and i just decided that that was it. we'll be right back. ( bell rings ) they remind me so much of my grandkids. there was nothing left in my life, and i just wanted to wish i saw mine more often, end -- i wanted to end my life but they live so far away. i've been thinking about moving in with my daughter and her family. and theirs, but unfortunately, i really went through with it and, it's been pretty tough since jack passed away. you know. it's a good thing you had life insurance through the colonial penn program. >> you went down and found your you're right. it was affordable, mother first and you shot her and we were guaranteed acceptance. directly. guaranteed acceptance? as you were doing that, what was it means you can't be turned down because of your health. the sensation that you

experiencing? you don't have to take a physical or answer any health questions. >> actually, i had no emotion at they don't care about your aches and pains. all. i was basically like a zombie. well, how do you know? did you speak to alex trebek? i went down the steps, and i shot my mother. because i have a policy myself. she was sitting in this chair at it costs just $9.95 a month per unit. it's perfect for my budget. my rate will never go up. a computer. she had spun around and i shot and my coverage will never go down her, and it grazed -- it grazed because of my age. affordable coverage and guaranteed acceptance? her chest, and i turned, i we should give them a call. looked over at my father, he was at the other computer and he do you want to help protect your loved ones dove under the table, and i shot from the burden of final expenses? about seven times underneath the if you're between 50 and 85, you can get quality insurance table, and i had no emotion at that does not require any health questions or a medical exam. this -- at this time at all. your rate of $9.95 a month per unit will never increase, it was just -- i was numb and there had been so many years of and your coverage will never decrease -- hurt from others, abuse and that's guaranteed. so join the six million people who have already called about this insurance. bullying, rejection from girls, whether you're getting new insurance all types of things like that. or supplementing what you already have, i didn't care about anything anymore. call now and ask one of their representatives so after i had, after i had about a plan that meets your needs. finished shooting my father, i

so, what are you waiting for? go call now! went upstairs and reloaded, and we'll finish up here. i came back down to the top of the stairs of the basement, and my mother was standing there at the bottom of the steps, and she looked at me, and she had her hands like this at her chest, and she said what are you doing, joshua? why did you do this? and i loaded the gun. i pointed it at her face, and i shot her in the face. i walked down the steps. i stepped over her body, and i shot my father in the head one more time. and then i walked back upstairs, set the gun down. i grabbed a coke. drank it, and then called the police. and i had no emotion this whole time.

i just wanted to die and end everything. >> even at the moment you realized you murdered both your parents, was there any kind of reality check, or did you still believe that this was some weird, horrible violent video game that you were possibly enacting for real? >> well, the things that went on that night, it real he reminded me -- it did remind me of "the matrix." i had become desensitized to bloodshed and things like that. when i was doing it, it really did remind me of the game a lot. i don't know for sure if i really would say that i felt like i was in the game, but it felt like -- it almost felt like i was, and it just, everything just reminded me of the video games i played for so long over the years.

so and i know those games had an impact on me. so the people that say they don't have an impact, they have an impact on a young person's mind. >> chilling warning about the dangers of violent video games. when we come back, why joshua cook knows what went on in the minds of columbine and sandy hook killers. first, his message to mass murderers. >> maybe you've been abused like i was or bullied in girls or rejected by girls, and maybe you're addicted to these violent video games and things like that, but you don't know the pain that you're going to cause with this type of shooting. you think you do, but you don't, and you got to think about your family. you got to think about your friends, how much it will hurt them.

and she did. >> girls, we are awesome. >> there are about 50 girls in our different programs. >> i'm so proud of you. >> our mentorship program helps refugee girls in high school. >> you have to write an essay, right? >> yes. i want to write about my life. >> walking down the street, they are just teenagers. >> i want to have my own salon. >> one day i'm hoping to be a nurse. >> i want to be a teacher. >> i want to become a doctor or nurse. >> what i see is what all the girls can accomplish and everything they can do.

that's really wild. president obama about to good evening. are we on the brink of a military attack on syria or the suspected use of chemical weapons. the latest from washington tonight. also, why is this woman avoiding our cameras? you might, too, if your charity was raising millions as hers is for cancer and deadly illnesses, but spending 97% of it on everything but the children. keeping them honest. plus, stopping the fire of america's treasures and the water supply for a major city. scenes from the

played a part in the crime and in the first ever tv interview, he speaks out to other killers. joshua, there will be many people watching this who will say all you're doing now is making excuses for what you did and you're a ruthless cold-blooded killer and it's blaming schizophrenia, movies,

video games, what would you say? >> when i talk to anyone about this, i tell them i don't blame anyone but myself, and i have no one to blame but myself. i don't blame anything or anyone else. we're all -- we're all held accountable for our chases. we have choices to make. i'm not the only one that have went through things in my life and played violent video games. these things contribute and accumulate and with someone who may have psychological issues, lie i know i've had, it just -- you could become a ticking time bomb. >> if you had two biological parents who were diagnosed with schizophrenia, it seems extraordinary that you were not picked up as a potential risk. but do you think the system, the mental health system in america

should have picked you up earlier? >> yeah, absolutely, agree. i've spent a lot of time thinking about that in frustration and anger that i never got to know those things growing up my whole life about my biological parents. who wouldn't want to know both of their parents were mentally ill, in and out of mental institutions and schizophrenia and things like that. that's something i should have known from an early age to go to the right type of professional and doctor to get myself checked out. but i never knew growing up so that's a big deal to me. >> when you see the mass shootings in places like aurora and the movie theater with james holmes and adam lanza as sandy hook, do you recognize from everything you've read about these two shooters, similarities in the way perhaps you were thinking at the time that you committed your atrocity?

>> absolutely. whenever these happen, whenever these incidents happen there is several things that pop into my mind because i've been there. i know there was psychological issues involved. these people were not right, obviously. at least the majority aren't. they have had psychological issues. maybe there has been abuse in their life, bullying in school for years. like i said, rejection from girls. that plays a part. violent video games, nobody snaps overnight and decides, hey, i'll go shoot a whole school up. it doesn't happen. stuff builds up over time and these people were ticking time bombs and, you know, i wish people had seen the signs in me before hand, before i did what i did and -- but unfortunately, that didn't happen. >> you were able to go and as a 19-year-old buy a shotgun and loaded ammunition and go murder

your parents. do you think that the easy availability of guns is also a big problem in america for disturbed young men in particular like yourselves? >> absolutely. that is a big problem. and, you know, one thing i would like to address with what you brought up about, you know, the availability of guns is with regards to assault weapons. if i had an assault weapon, things would have been much worse, and i thank god i didn't have an ar 15 or some other type of assault weapon, because the way i was back then mentally, i would have gone to the mall that night or to my -- one of my old high schools the next morning and killed as many people as i possibly could. but because i didn't have an assault weapon, that didn't happen.

so i thank god i didn't have one of those things, and the gun does matter. >> obviously, you'll be in prison for a very long time. you did a terrible thing that day killing your parents. if you had to chance to speak to them again, which you never will, but if you did have the chance, what would you say to them? >> first, i actually do believe i will see them again. i believe in redemption. i believe in god. i do believe i will see them again, and when i see them, i know that we're going to be reconciled and we're going to talk it out, and my parents were christians. you know, they made some mistakes. they had faults like every other parent does, but i know i would tell them that obviously that i'm sorry, that i love them, that i want to thank them for everything that they did for me growing up and just give them hugs, hugs and kisses and just embrace them and then go from there. so i look forward to that.

>> are you now receiving any kind of treatment or medication for any mental health issues? >> no, i'm not. i mean, years ago in 2004 i was on four different anti-depressants and i was talking to psychologists. they don't have any regular therapy here where like you have on the street where you see a shrink once a week or something like that, but you can put requests in to see a psychologist. but the main thing that has delivered me from this type of thinking, this mentality, this type of evil mentality and, and the thing that's really helped me with my mental health is my relationship with god. and prayer, prayer works and it really worked for me and he's really put a lot of love in my heart, so that's what helped me out. i don't think like i used to years ago. a lot from joshua cook tonight and it's important to know is it one side of this tragedy?

we reached out to other members of the family. they did not reply to our request for a response. when we come back, i want to ask mental health experts what they think. but joshua cook's final warning to anyone that might want to commit a crime like this. why believes psychological help can make a difference. >> it's not just about you. it's about the people around you that love you. i got to tell you, you got to get help. you got to get help. you really need to see a psychologist and there is no shame in that. you need to get psychological help because you may have problems like i did and i want to say give god a chance. you know, just think about what i said. [ male announcer ] this is jim,

a man who doesn't stand still. but jim has afib, atrial fibrillation -- an irregular heartbeat, not caused by a heart valve problem. that puts jim at a greater risk of stroke.