mojave desert. >> that has never happened in this county. >> brutally murdered. >> so cold blooded that they killed children? >> how did they get there? who killed them? exclusive interviews, surprising clues. >> whoever did this to the family had this well planned out. >> who killed the mcstay family? buried secrets, who murdered the mcstay family, tuesday night at 9:00, right here on cnn. i'm randi kaye, my special report from coasta rica, "love & death in paradise" begins right now. >> the following is a cnn special report.

♪ i recall it as being a relatively peaceful day. that evening we had dinner because we had never talked about gun, it had never occurred to me to even think about that. i got into bed first. i dropped off to sleep. i opened my eyes because i heard him talking. and i saw the gun. he had it pointed at his head. i immediately reared up on my knees and lunged for the gun. i touched his hands. and i don't know exactly what happened, but what i do know is i did not shoot my husband.

>> costa rica, the ultimate tropical destination. paradise. but within its grand mountainous landscape and beautiful beaches, an american, ann bender, has fought for her freedom. fought the charge that she killed her husband john on january 8th, 2010. her passport taken, unable to leave the country, trapped. she spoke with me while waiting to stand trial for a second time. was it murder or suicide? prosecutors claimed ann is a cold-blooded killer. ann is adamant she did not murder her husband.

>> we will be tried twice on the same charge. >> if there were any merit to this, i could respect it, and i could have some sense of peace. >> peace ann bender has been seeking since she first moved to costa rica with john. they had hoped to escape here in the clouds of the jungle. the isolation instead would lead to a descent into madness. boracayan del sur, john and ann bender's unique refuge in the coast ka rookien rain forest. their dream at first. >> i had never seen a place as beautiful as this. >> it's remote. with their one of a kind 80,000

square foot circular house nicknamed the bender dome, which ann and john designed and built from scratch. >> we built it to take advantage of the incredible views. >> their goals? for themselves, a life of quiet isolation and purpose. a balm to calm their inner demons. for the refuge? help native wildlife and flowers return by keeping poachers off the thousands of acres. the benders shared their extraordinary home with lots of animals, nurturing and rehabilitating some, like toth, the great black hawk, leo the jaguarundi, and lili, the three-toed sloth. in the kitchen, ann showed me the sink that became lili's personal toilet. >> she would grab this and i

would create like an infinity pool of water and that's where she's do her business. >> wow. >> for ann, animals have long been important companions, says her brother ken patton. >> she developed that bond with animals at a very early age. >> ken and ann grew up in rio de janeiro. what was your sister like as a young girl and teenager? >> very popular in school. she hung out with the cool crowd definitely. >> outgoing and popular, but something was not quite right. >> when i was in my preteens, 10, 12, i knew something was weird. something was different. >> weird and different turned out to be early signs of what would later become serious mental illness. >> i didn't have any suicide attempts or anything like that until my 20s. that's when it really hit.

>> ann would be diagnosed as bipolar. a condition characterized by episodes of severe mood swings. she says that might explain her making sometimes rather impulsive decisions like moving to virginia. >> one morning i woke up and i said i'm done with cities. i want to move to the country. i want to live in a log cabin. >> virginia is where she would meet john, the man she would one day be accused of killing. and so when you first met him, what was your first impression? >> i'm in love. >> right away? >> absolutely. >> that very first meeting, ann tells john that she is bipolar. >> and he started telling me about his issues with mental illness in his own family, and we started talking about that. >> and about his own history with depression, which his parents, mardy and paul bender, say started at a young age.

>> john would get depressed. not unfrequently. >> he'd go through times the where everything's going wrong. usually it got over quickly. >> they say that young john enjoyed nature, animals and -- >> he got into minerals, almost immediately he saw in the minerals something that he could trade and kind of make a profit on. >> john bender liked trading and was good at it. he was something of a numbers wiz and decided to use his math skills in casinos. >> he started going to atlantic city and card counting. and he did it until they kicked him out. it was a challenge. it wasn't for the money. it was the idea of being able to use your mind to trade profitably. >> eventually john would become a trader at the philadelphia stock exchange and work with and mentor pete delici. >> john did everything to an

extreme. so if he believed in something or he felt that statistically or mathematically he had an edge, he would exploit that as much as -- or as big as he could. >> part of john's strategy was to have competitors on the trading floor underestimate him. >> he wore scrubs on the floor because he wanted people to think he was, you know, a goofball and didn't know what he was doing. >> but john did know what he was doing and became a multimillionaire, but wealth didn't necessarily bring happiness. >> i think he was a tortured genius. there were times when his depression could last for a period of weeks. >> john used some profits to move himself and his trading operation here to golden mountain farm in rural virginia. was he looking to escape people? >> i think so. yeah, i definitely do. >> ann would move in with john just two weeks after they first met. he soon proposed. >> our wedding was 19 people,

and all family, including the two of us. >> there was the feeling that they were at the same place, that they had exactly the same goals and the same values. >> all they seemed to need and want was each other. >> neither of us liked having people around. >> so they went even farther away and deep into the remote costa rican rain forest, leaving family and friends behind. and was he looking for the same tranquility that you had in virginia? >> yes. oh, very much so. >> next, the tranquillity is shattered. >> when john did not move, they fired between his feet and held the gun up to his head. >> and a decline into depression, paranoia and what ann claims were suicide rehearsals. >> had i been in my right mind, i would have behaved differently. it starts with little things. tiny changes in the brain.

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it happened in san ysidro, a short drive from ann and john bender's refuge in april 2001. >> so we were driving along. and john mentioned to me there's this car that was behind us and they keep following us. we pulled into where we were going to go. i looked at john and said this is a kidnapping. he just sat down on the ground because he knew they wouldn't be able to move him. >> they were not kidnapping him. they were acting as muscle for a past business associate of john's. john and ann no longer felt safe in costa rica. >> the first thing we did is we left the country. we went to canada. >> threeonths later they returned to their home in the

rain forest. >> to come back, we had to be safe. so that's when we hired the private security. >> she and john also armed themselves. >> we both got gun permits. i never in a million years would have thought -- and john said the same thing. i can't believe i'm learning how to shoot a gun. both of us were very anti-gun. >> she said soon their safety was threatened again. when their mountain top sanctuary was invaded in 2002 by armed men. and how far did they get on to the property? how close to you? >> they got within 15 feet of the corner of our house. >> ann says the boracayan security team scared off the intruders. she and john felt targeted. it was all quite unsettling for two people trying to cope with

mental health issues. on top of that, ann soon contracted lyme disease, an infection transmitted by ticks that can cause agonizing pain. >> so that's why i walked with the cane. i have permanent nerve damage in my hands and my feet. the infection passed the blood barrier so it is in my spinal cord and in my brain. >> it was 2002, the beginning of what would become an eight-year downward spiral for both of them. an unraveling that would end with john dead. >> he entered into a very severe depression. at the end of 2008. and it was triggered by the death of a particular bird that he was taking care of. blacker was his name. >> when a opossum hiding in their kitchen killed whacker, john was devastated. >> he told me the day after, he

said the house has betrayed me. >> so this will be here for 200 years. >> paul myer has a tree farm next to the bender's property. >> i remember ann very well from the first meeting. beautiful woman, hair up in a ponytail, white tank top, tanned, two-way radio on the hip. okay, i'm living next to lara croft tomb raider and investing legend. >> myers remembers his last get-together with the benders in 2009, six months before a bullet would end john's life. >> ann did not look good. she looked pale, like she had lost weight. both of them seemed sad or depressed. >> the last six to eight weeks i was not eating, i was not drinking, i wasn't bathing, i wasn't doing anything to take care of myself. >> john began talking suicide. ann says she had to repeatedly take part in what she calls dress rehearsals.

>> we would gather all the pills that were in the house and put them on the table. and he would ask me what do i do with these? i had tried to commit suicide before myself. and so i would tell him this is what you do, but i could tell that doing these things would calm him down, and he would feel better. >> practicing suicide to calm him down. it seems an absurd notion. almost unbelievable. what about another extraordinary claim? that to get john through another day she would do anything, anything. including let him think he could cure her by injecting her with water gathered from a stream on their property. >> he was absolutely psychotic. >> he really believed this could help you? >> yes, absolutely. i knew that it was something that was allowing him to survive another day. >> dr. arturo lezano vincent is

ann's psychiatrist. >> i thought that they must have been both psychotic. >> and in that case they feed off each other's manic moments? >> yeah. >> shared craziness. >> shared craziness, yeah. >> i know that there is definitely something to the concept of the two of us having gone mad together. >> ann was also physically deteriorating. she says at times she was too weak to walk. during this time, ann flew to the u.s. on a trip for their gems business. she says they'd been buying and stockpiling precious stones as an investment. while she was gone, ann received a startling e-mail from an angry and despondent john. he wrote, i wish i were [ bleep ] dead. i deserve to [ bleep ] die. i feel so utterly ill that there aren't even words. i haven't felt this bad in years.

>> i could read in the intensity of his words and in the conversation we had over the phone that he had passed over a certain line. that he had never passed before. and i was terrified. >> two months later she sent an e-mail to john's parents telling them, for the first time in 11 years we find ourselves in the unfortunate position of both being depressed at the same time. two days later, john was dead. coming up, was it murder? suicide or an accident? >> i heard that sound. i will never forget it. the rattling breath that i had read about, heard about.

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>> though she still finds it hard to be in this room, ann takes me step by step to the final hours she and john spent here. how did you spend your last day? what did you do together? >> i recall it as being a relatively peaceful day. he was much calmer. i wasn't feeling so much of the angst coming from him. we watched the sunset. we did all of the positive things that we always did. that evening we had dinner, and then we played the video game that we usually played. >> ann and john played the post apocalyptic action game killout three, killing supermutated creatures as a way to relax. >> i was feeling that he was more at peace, so i was more present in the moment for those few hours that evening. and i wasn't quite as watchful as i had been before.

>> so did you finish the video game and both come upstairs together? >> that night i wasn't able to walk, so he would carry me to the elevator. >> ann says they followed their nightly routine. john turned out the lights, and they got into bed. ann says she began to doze off. >> i was lying on my belly face down. my head facing towards him. and i opened my eyes because i heard him talking. >> so what was he saying? >> he referred to my suicide attempts where i had been in bed next to him, and he said something to the effect of knowing how it feels to wake up with your spouse dead. >> though it was dark, ann says she could see that john had a gun pointed at his head. ann says she took action, almost instinctively.

>> i reared up on my knees, lunged towards him. and in the process of putting my hands around his, we fell towards each other. and he had the gun loaded and cocked. the way we fell towards each other, the gun went off. >> a single gunshot entered the back of john's head. ann would watch as her husband drifted away. >> i heard that sound. i'll never forget it. that rattling breath that i had read about, heard about. >> ann said she walked around

to john's side of the bed, held his hand and stroked his arm. >> as i was kneeling next to him all the blood started to fall through the mattress and was pooling at my feet. >> ann grabbed a radio and called for help. the head of boracayan security, jose fabio pizarro was one of the first to respond. when you first arrived here at the house, what did you see? >> translator: john was in his bed. he was lying there lifeless. he was dead. i gave all of my attention to ann, who was very upset. she hugged me saying, i tried to stop it. i tried to stop it, but i couldn't. >> ann says she called her older brother, ken patton, to deliver the news. >> the phone rang. i think it was about 2:00 in the

morning eastern time. >> i called him, and i don't remember what i said. >> the first thing she said to me was he finally did it. >> the police arrived and began processing the scene. eventually, ann was taken to a police station. >> when i got there the first thing they did was test my hands for gunpowder residue. and i remember they unbagged my hands and they were commenting about stuff that was underneath my fingernails. >> what did you tell police that night? >> what i remembered. >> did you ever tell them, i didn't shoot him, i didn't kill him? >> yes. i said i didn't -- i said i lunged for the gun and the gun went off. >> after being questioned, ann was released. pizarro then urged her to go to

the hospital because, he says, she was emotionally and physically frail. >> pizarro said to me, you need to go to the hospital. and i argued with him. i said no, i want to go home. he said you need to go to the hospital. >> ann would spend the next six months at the hospital in san jose. coming up -- >> translator: the cause of death was homicide. >> prosecutors don't buy ann's story. >> translator: ann intended or had planned to kill john bender that night of january 8th, 2010. [male vo] inside this bag exists over 150 years of swedish coffee experience. that's 150 years of experience in refining and perfecting the rich, never bitter taste of gevalia. and we do it all for this very experience. this very second. this exact moment.

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switch to comcast business internet and get two wifi networks included. comcast business built for business. the gory scene of her husband's death earlier that day and years of struggling with mental illness had taken their toll on ann bender's mind and body. she was brought to this hospital in san jose. ann's longtime psychiatrist, dr. arturo lezano vincent, was the first to see her. how would you describe her mental condition after you first saw her after john's death?

>> flat, is what we call it in the psychiatric business. >> a blank stare? >> yeah, a blank stare. psychosis was monumental. >> ann's physician hugo i have yags a found her shockingly frail and thin, weighing only 66 pounds. >> ann was severely malnourished with pockets of pus abscesses on her skin. >> treating her would not be easy. >> she was in a trance-like state, not cooperating too much in terms of what her needs were or what she was feeling. >> though ann was in no condition to communicate, she says the police wouldn't leave her alone. >> i do remember police officers coming into the room, and they were unnecessary. it was -- it was cruel. >> give me one example. >> having four police officers walk in with their guns or weapons to make sure that i was still there.

that was not necessary to do every day for two weeks. >> ann had plenty to be concerned about. lead prosecutor edgar ramirez says the forensic evidence was pointing to murder and ann's guilt. there was the single shot to the back of john's head, a spot, he says, makes ann's story impossible. >> translator: the only wound mr. bender had was located in the right objection ip ittal region, shot like this. experience tells us that when a person is going to commit suicide, they will shoot themselves in a central location, specifically here, here and here, or directly to the heart. >> what about the position of john's body? >> the position of john bender's body when found shows he was in a fetal position asleep when shot. >> no gunpowder residue found on john's hands.

>> translator: the gunpowder residue only appears on ann. in her hands and in her clothes. >> but forensic tests found no significant residue on ann's hands. and ann's attorney says the residue on her clothes does not prove she fired the gun. >> translator: if someone shoots a firearm, the gunpowder residue can end up coating another person's clothes. >> what would have been ann bender's motive for killing her husband? >> translator: they were having problems because ann was frequently taking trips out of the country to buy precious stones and jewels. >> jewels found around the couple's mansion during the investigation. authorities removed them from the house by the suitcase load. >> we actually met -- >> ann says the gem business was

not a source of contention. >> it was a collection that we wanted to make. we both always loved gems since we were young. to him it was a sound investment. >> not only was it a sound financial investment but ann says john bought her the stones also as a way to cope with their mental illnesses. >> whenever i was acutely ill, john always wanted to buy me stuff. and so he started buying at first just small things like beads. these are sapphire -- a particular type of sapphire that changes color based on the light. >> john did more than surround ann with precious jewels. he also bought her hundreds of beautiful replicas of stained class tiffany lamps. >> and we both loved art glass. the tiffany lamps were something that we just both fell in love with them. >> how many did you have?

>> 550. seeing clouds roll through your living room with the reproduction tiffany lamps lit up, every day it was a beautiful experience and ever-changing. >> still beautiful on the outside, inside ann's home is now dark, cold and empty. empty because police confiscated almost everything of value including the colorful jewels and lamps she adored. even the kitchen appliances. >> two refrigerators and one industrial-size freezer. two ranges. i had two, one with six burners, one with four. >> the refrigerator and stove top, why were those things taken? >> translator: the money used to purchase those things may have come from illicit sources. i mean, in this case, we also found the benders had bank accounts in tax havens like grand caymans, for example.

>> an allegation of tax evasion that john and ann smuggled jewels into costa rica. how do you feel about the accusations that you and john were involved in some type of illegal activities? >> that's an absolute fabrication. we were doing nothing wrong. >> prosecutor ramirez and ann seem to agree on one thing. both believe mental illness led to john's death, but for different reasons. ramirez suspects ann had a psychotic break. >> translator: both of them were bipolar and obviously had personality disorders, but in ann's case, she knew what she was doing and planned to kill him that night. >> ann blames john's death on his severe depression. >> three months before he died he was talking about killing himself every day. every day. >> coming up, ann goes from

suspected murderess to defendant. >> i was officially charged august 3rd of 2011. >> ann discovers her fortune may be gone. >> i'm absolutely broke. [female announcer] we grow big celebrations,o. and personal victories. we grow new beginnings, and better endings. grand gestures, happier happy hours. so let's gro something greater with miracle-gro.

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i was in shock when i arrived in hospital. >> ann bender's husband john was dead. and the enormous home they once shared in the rain forest was empty. >> the main reason i didn't live at the refuge initially was health reasons. here i'm ten minutes away from the hospital. >> ann moved hours away to this small city apartment in san jose. though no longer confined to a hospital room, she'd soon discover her freedom had limits. ann surrendered her passport as prosecutors continue to investigate. eventually they concluded she

was responsible for john's death. >> i was officially charged august 3rd of 2011. >> so that's almost two years. >> 20 months later. >> 20 months after john's death. ann then hired fabio to take over her defense. >> translator: she wasn't satisfied with the attorneys that were representing her during that year and a half. >> ann had begun to question the honesty of juan del dios alvarez, the man who had hired those attorneys. >> something was wrong, but i did not what. >> alvarez had played an important role in the benders realizing their dream, helping them acquire dozens of properties that make up the refuge. he's also the man they turned to when they decided to funnel most of their fortune, about $70

million, into a trust, which he established and controlled. >> the purpose of setting it up was to ensure that the refuge would have a structure that would protect it after we were gone. >> in the event of john dying first, it was also meant to provide financial security for ann, but that isn't how things went, according to milton jimenez, an alvarez employee who helped manage to trust. >> translator: after john bender died, the first thing mr. alvarez did was take away ann's credit card. he declared himself the only heir of the trust. he said the trust no longer existed and now everything belonged to him. >> jiminez says he was so disturbed by what he calls alvarez's lying ways and soaring ego that he left the company.

>> i found out that he had quit, and i got in touch with him. he told me verbally some things and things fell together. >> jiminez had accused alvarez of stealing from the trust. >> translator: almost around the same time the trust was created, mr. alvarez began investing the funds in personal projects and paying for personal expenses. his lifestyle changed completely. >> ann sued alvarez for fraud and gained access to his files on the trust. the case is pending. from what you saw, how much money do you estimate mr. alvarez stole from that trust? >> translator: by the time i left the office, i calculated $20 million. >> in the end, jimenez believes alvarez wanted ann put away so that he could get away with embezzling millions. >> translator: what he wanted

the most was for ann to go to jail. there's no way he wanted anything else. >> how has all this affect you? what's been the impact? >> i'm beyond upset in terms of the degree of betrayal and how long it was going on. >> you're basically broke, right? >> i'm absolutely broke. >> translator: i requested that mr. alvarez be removed as a trustee. the court named a substitute to take his place. >> we've reached out to juan dedee oes alvarez, but he's declined to speak with cnn. in this e-mail he says he is following the advice of his attorneys in not giving us an interview. with the civil suit and potentially a criminal trial against alvarez in motion, ann still had her own criminal trial to worry about. next, ann goes on trial. ♪

♪ ♪

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i did not shoot my husband. you can tell me right here and right now, you did not kill him? >> i did not shoot my husband. i tried to stop him. >> on january 14th, 2013, three years after john bender's death, in a courtroom in san ysidro, costa rica, ann bender went on trial, charged with murdering her husband. [ speaking in foreign language ] >> her lawyer asked about her claim that she saw john holding a gun to his head. [ speaking in foreign language ] >> on cross-examination, ann told the prosecutor that she had

lost her grip on john's hands, started falling back and the gun went off. [ speaking in foreign language ] >> on the fifth day of trial, testimony ended and closing arguments began. the prosecutor demonstrated how easy it was to shoot the gun. [ speaking in foreign language ]

>> and he called john's death a cold-blooded killing. [ speaking in foreign language ] >> three judges would decide ann's fate. if found guilty, she faced a sentence of up to 25 years in prison but most likely she'd be committed to a mental institution instead. >> as soon as the judges sat and i was looking at them, i was just -- i waited and i remember now just being one solid, tensed up muscle. >> before rendering their

decision, the judges cited problems with the investigation. [ speaking in foreign language ] >> moments away from the verdict, ann says she never felt more alone in her life. >> fabio reached behind me and held my hand and i remember just being so grateful for that contact. [ speaking in foreign language ] >> because there is reasonable doubt, the judges' decision, not guilty.

the defense attorney fabio believes this john bender e-mail was key to ann's acquittal. >> translator: in an e-mail john sent ann months before he passed away, he said that he wanted to kill himself and everyone around him after discovering issues with his finances. >> issues like getting money from the man who managed the benders' financial trust. john wrote, i am such a total [ bleep ] loser for ever getting involved with the total scum bags. for ann, the verdict was relief and vindication. >> you must have thought it was over. >> yeah, i thought it was over. >> but it wasn't. in costa rica, such a verdict can be appealed so a defendant can be tried twice for the same crime. and that's what prosecutor edgar ramirez did. >> why did your office appeal

the decision and on what basis? >> the decision took us by surprise and after analyzing it, we did not agree with the court's assessment of the case evidence. >> prosecutors won their appeal and a new trial got under way this month. >> it was devastating to know that i have to go through this again. this is a travesty in terms of the use of the justice system. >> friends and family, including john's parents, do not believe his death was premeditated murder. >> absolutely not. >> oh, it is just so impossible. the moon could be made of green cheese, actually, before something like that. not only did ann not have a motive to kill him, i know she adored him and could not possibly benefit by his death. >> months before ann would learn her fate, i asked about her future. if you are again acquitted at

the retrial and it ends there -- >> yes. >> -- what do you want to do with the rest of your life? where do you go from here? >> i know what john wanted me to do with the refuge and a lot of that will depend on the resources that are left. he wanted me to start helping people with mental illnesses and to create an aspect of the refuge that would allow for retreats for people with mental illnesses. >> what do you want for you? >> i want peace for john. because i know he's not at peace now. >> john bender's ashes are in an urn near what ann says was his favorite view, looking out from the refuge. a refuge she's trying to save, a paradise that will never be the same.

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