star-studded. we hope she gets all the wishes she laid out. the valentino dress, the hair blowing like beyonce. >> i thought it was great she wanted a toe tag by harry winston, which means she wanted a diamond studded toe tag. >> that's it for us. thank you so much for watching. cnn spotlight joan rivers starts right now. >> good night. will you welcome, please, joan rivers. >> for 50 years, -- >> you are not the one to interview one who does humor. sorry. >> fearless. >> are we fearless? >> no big deal to have a woman in the white house. john f. kennedy had a thousand of them. >> and funny. >> no man could ever put his hands up a woman's dress with a library card. >> rebounding. >> you laugh at it, you can deal with it. >> and reinventing. >> you want brutal honesty? >> on the red carpet. >> i'm not going to say anything nasty. she came in an egg.

and some people will do anything to not have to speak to ryan seacrest. >> at her kitchen counter. >> you know how you get a man's respect? >> how. >> naked. >> out front and in the spotlight where she always liked it best. cnn spotlight joan rivers. >> can we talk? >> joan rivers could always talk. >> do you know what it's like to go in the morning to take off a facial mask and realize you're not wearing one? oh, you don't know. >> with sometimes outrageous jokes, nothing was ever off limits. >> i hate old people! i -- oh! if you are [ bleep ] old, get up and get out of here right, right now. >> born in 1933, rivers says even as she was growing up in the new york suburbs, she wanted to be an actress. >> i never had a choice. i always say it's like a nun's calling. >> but her show business career

didn't start until she was 24 years old. the phi beta kappa graduate from bernard with one failed marriage behind her moved out of her parent's home and tried to get a job as an actress. and while her acting break didn't happen right away, she got her first break on the ed sullivan show. >> giving me a kiss good night. >> and joined the iconic second city comedy heater in 1961. >> you started, though, it was tougher. women, comediennes were rare. >> they were rare, and they didn't want to listen to you. i think it's easier now because i would come on stage, and they just didn't want to hear what i had to say. >> you had to be great, right? >> you had to take -- you had to be stronger. and of all my group, and i never realized it until afterwards, i was the last to break through. and my group was pryor and carlin and woody allen. >> that's right. >> i never cooked because i figured if the lord wanted a woman to cook, he would have

given her aluminum hands. >> as her comedy career was taking off, she married producer edgar rosenburg in 1964, who would manage her career and become the focus of so many of his wife's jokes. >> i moved into edgar's apartment, which was a mistake, because it's a man's apartment, very masculine, a lot of leather and chains. >> the pair had one daughter together, melissa. >> we had a rule that i never was away more than five days ever from the baby, as we used to call melissa. i flew through the night so i could be a scout mother, make the meetings. i would wear that lousy outfit but i was still scout. >> no matter you were vegas, you would come home? >> i would come home. and when i wasn't, edgar was. there was always a parent in the house. >> in 1965, rivers saw her career get a huge boost when she appeared on "the tonight show" with johnny carson for the first time. >> he gave all of us our starts. my life changed.

i went on the show the first time. seven years of struggling, coming out of second city. and on the air he said you're going to be a star. and the next day my life is different. >> it was the start of a 21-year professional relationship with carson and the show. she made regular appearances, eventually becoming the show's substitute host in 1983. >> here's joan rivers! >> but rivers' decision to launch her own show on the brand-new fox network in the fall of 1986, becoming the first and only woman to host a network nightly talk show, ended her relationship with carson and "the tonight show." >> he should have been proud. i finally after my contract was up done, i took another job. cosby did. david brennan did, we all did. we all went on. i think because i was a woman, he never thought i would leave, or maybe, maybe he liked me better. but the minute i became

competition, it became out to kill me. out to kill me. and that's what came down forever. never spoke to me again. >> the show was canceled in 1987. just a few months later, rivers' husband edgar committed suicide in a philadelphia hotel room. >> i was in the hospital, and some idiot called the house, and they said where is your mother, somebody from philadelphia. and melissa said she is not here. they said well, please tell her father killed himself. how is that for a phone call? >> rivers reground by doing what she always did, putting her life out in the open. circumstances there any area you would not go to? >> no. if i think i want to talk about it, then it's right to talk about. and i purposely go into areas that people are still very sensitive and smarting about. >> why? >> if you laugh at it, you can deal with it. that's how i've lived my whole life.

if i swear i'm jewish, in auschwitz, i would have been doing jokes just to make it okay for us. >> i'll show you fear. that's fear. if my book ever looked like this, it would mean that nobody wants me, that everything i tried to do in life didn't work. nobody cared. and i've been totally forgotten. >> her career surged again when her withering take on red carpet fashion, full of biting remarks and celebrity putdowns, exposed her to a whole new group of fans. >> yes, you have to wear dead animals, because i tried, and live ones bite. you must wear dead animals. >> and in 2010, she felt she was at the top of her game. >> i think i'm working the best i've ever worked now, because i've -- it's all been done to me. what are they going to do? are they going to fire me? i've been fired. audiences are not going to like me?

a lot of audiences haven't liked me. i've been bankrupt. my husband has committed suicide. i mean, it's okay. >> coming up, rivers gets real about life and death. >> if anything happens, melissa, i'm no chicken, i've had a great life, an amazing life. if i died this morning, nobody would say so young. ♪ anncr: now you can merge the physical freedom of the car, with the virtual freedom of wi-fi. chevrolet, the first and only car company to bring built-in 4g lte wi-fi to cars, trucks and crossovers. hi mom. you made it! anncr: it's the new independence.

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were alive. you know how that hurts? when you're sitting right there? >> joan rivers' favorite jokes were about joan rivers. on the ed sullivan show -- >> when i was 21, my mother said only a doctor for you. when i was 22, she said all right, a lawyer, cpa. 24, she said well, grab a dentist. 26 she said anything. if he can make to it the door, he was mine, you know? what do you mean you don't like him? he is intelligent. he found the bell himself. what you want? >> will you welcome, please, joan rivers. >> from an early appearance on "the sam junior show". >> i figured if the lord wanted a woman to took cook, he would have given her aluminum hands. >> oh my goodness. >> i'm so sorry i was late. >> to her comeback with jimmy fallon five decades later. >> this is so embarrassing. i have to sit on this.

and i'll explain this to you. i'm sorry. i'm so embarrassed. >> you don't have to be embarrassed. tell me what, why? >> well, coming back, i wanted to write it's very special for me to be back, seriously. very, very special. [ applause ] >> so my girlfriend and i decide we would get matching vagina rings just to collaborate. >> to celebrate the moment. i appreciate that. you and your girlfriend. >> yeah. and mine is killing me. but apparently i spoke to bruce jenner, and her's is fine. >> joan rivers. >> rivers built a landmark career in comedy. the job she said she always wanted. >> i love performing. it's like a drug for me.

love what i do. when i can put two thoughts together as a child, i knew that's what i wanted to do. >> i am so thrilled to be here. i just want you to know that. >> her secret? saying out loud things others would not. >> oh, when i was in labor, when i was having my child, i screamed. when i was having my child, agghhh! and that was just during conception. >> i hate old people. i say i hate, hate old people. the bodies? the bodies? enjoy your bodies now. add a brassiere, this is how i go to the bathroom. it is just -- >> if you value your figure, i would have stayed single. can we talk? >> can we talk, really, when i look at it, it's really what i say to my audiences all the time, because i make my audiences face reality and face truth. and you'll say something and you'll go can we talk here? are we going to tell it?

it's like saying are we going to tell the truth or not. >> i bought the book "the joy of sex." you know chapter 11 where you wrap totally in saran wrap. i lay down on the dining room table. my husband came home and he said leftovers again? >> her wicked humor may have caused her trouble. but as she told comedian louie ck, laughter is also her lifeline. >> i wish i could tell you it gets better, but it doesn't get better. you get better. i've got up, down, i've been bankrupt, broke. but you do it. and you do it because -- because we love it more than anything else. >> bankrupt, broke, rivers had been through everything. including her husband's suicide. >> oh, i'm still angry at my

husband. i'm never forgiven him this 12 years. people say you'll go heaven. i say i'll kill him. >> because? >> because what he did to our daughter, because what he did to us, what he did to our lives. >> though life wasn't easy, rivers always seemed to find a way to make it funny. >> how much have you actually had done? >> two full face-lift. >> yeah? >> and then little bitty, bit tis. >> tweaks? >> tweaks. i have a very good friend steven hoffman in california. i'll say what do you think, steve? tell me the truth. he'll saypay wait another year, or he'll say oh my god, get in here tonight. >> as a fashion critic for e! news, she took aim at how other people looked. >> i love rihanna. i think she can do no wrong. but why the green lips? it looks like she just [ bleep ] the grinch. talk about christmas coming early. i have not seen lips that green

since miss piggy got out of the back seat of kermit's car. >> doing stand-up, she was certified funny. she was irreverent. >> oh, oh, children on an airplane, lady, lady. where is casey anthony when you need her? >> and irrepressible. >> angelina jolie, if i could make just one person happy with my charity works, i'll die content. i thought easy. give jennifer aniston back her husband. >> and absolutely nothing was off limits. >> at this age, listen, my friends are dropping like flies. i wear black always just in case i get a quick call. >> as for her own mortality, rivers was unafraid, as she told her daughter melissa on their reality show. >> so listen, all right. if anything happens, melissa,

i'm no chicken. i've had a great life, an amazing life. if i died this morning, nobody would say so young. you're a terrific person. cooper's fine. you're all fine. i've had an amazing life. and if something happens, things are fine and life is fine. >> when we come back, how joan rivers changed everything. >> she blazed a trail obviously for me, all the girls. and in the face of so much adversity. ok, if you're up there, i could use some help. smart sarah. seeking guidance. just like with your investments. that sets you apart. it does? it does. you're type e*. and seeking another perspective is what type e*s do. oh, and your next handhold...

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♪ joan rivers! >> stand-up comic, late night host -- >> are you married? how many kids. >> six. >> six? oh god! one by one or a litter? >> red carpet diva. this is how we knew joan rivers. >> marie osmond, she makes mother teresa look like a slut. >> the laughs made her a legend. >> where is your diamond? oh, there it is. i'm sorry. poor bitch! but her groundbreaking career as woman in comedy might just be her greatest legacy. hours after her death, anderson cooper talked with kathy griffin

about the woman who was an inspiration, a mentor, and a friend. >> kathy, thank you for being with us. and i am so sorry for the loss of your friend. >> i'm going to try to do a good job. but i feel my head is kind of jumbled because i'm grieving. but i also really want to say respect must be paid to this woman. and she blazed a trail obviously for me, all the girls. and in the face of so much adversity, she was just a great living example to me. and we had many, many deep conversations about how it's different for girl comedians. and we spoke in shorthand and had a language. and i said to her, you know, you're in a club by yourself. you're not just in a small exclusive club, you're really the one. >> it's interesting. you and i were talking about this a lot. and you were saying that you spoke a language that really hardly anybody else can understand. >> well, i think when you talk about women in stand-up, it's really quite different than, you

know, women who are comedic actresses or women that have had a tremendous support system of, like, big powerful producers or multimillion-dollar network deals. everything joan did she created by herself. >> fighting for it. >> fighting for it. she said something to me. i was whining about something. she said look, when you're a woman in this business, you have to hold on until your knuckles are white, until they chop your fingers off, then you hold on by your wrists, hold on by your elbows, and you never let go. we would joke about everything, appropriate and inappropriate. but she really lived that. i don't think she should have had to fight that hard, but she just did. >> also at the time she started doing stand-up. >> lucille ball was a female comedian. but it's different. not a stand-up. >> it's very different what you're talk about, being on the mic, on the stage by yourself. >> all alone. >> i thought it was so cool the night before she went into the coma, she did an hour-long set at a small theater in new york

for the love of the game. she didn't have to. >> that's the incredible thing. the documentary that was made of her recently. >> "a piece of work" which is really good. >> if somebody hasn't seen it, it's good. >> it's a must-watch. >> she was out doing stand-up repeatedly late at night in small comedy clubs just trying out new material. >> and having fun doing it. >> she also -- i want to go to this clip. she had every joke she told in these filing cabinets. let's take a look at the film. >> these are all my jokes. these are jokes over the last 30 years. these are just -- every time i write a joke, try to remember to get it on a card. why should a woman cook? so her husband can say my wife makes a delicious cake to some hooker? [ laughter ] and you wonder why i'm still working at this age. >> and by the way, did you like her categories? there was one file that said cooking and tony danza.

i mean, she would make fun of anything and everyone. >> and herself too. >> first and foremost. >> right. >> and so i've been watching a lot of the footage of her earlier appearances. and you can see her just having to jump higher and try harder. and she was very good about actually not letting that sort of overtake her with anger. >> if she had that relationship with johnny carson for 21 years. to be then cut dead by him. >> he broke her heart. >> for, you know, taking a job that she wasn't getting "the tonight show." it was a great opportunity for her. it's understandable why she would do it. never spoke to her again. >> well, should we just cut the crap? that's because she is a woman. several men went on to take over "the tonight show" and other late night shows on network, and never a woman. so i -- and also, joan was so gracious, you know. he made me. i got to always give him that. but she also later on years after that happened to her, she was able to articulate how much it just wounded her. >> but also, you know, to have lost her husband to suicide.

>> yes. >> find herself raising a daughter by herself. >> yes. >> and have to move forward and make a living. >> absolutely. >> you also pointed out before we went on air, she invented a whole new television programing, which is the red carpet stuff. >> yes. she took a bunch of celebrities walking into a building and turned that into two hours of entertainment. she put designers on the map before anyone knew who they were. >> this is the egg arrival, the womb arrival. she was incubating is what she told us. >> what did she say about this? >> i'm not going to say anything nasty. she came in an egg. and some people will do anything to not to have to speak to ryan seacrest. >> you had dinner with her recently. >> yeah. >> you're talking about the last time you had dinner together. >> well, we closed the restaurant down, and i issued the rules. nobody else, no friends, no staff. she had this great joke in her act when she said i have a staff, and sometimes i get lonely, and i turn to them and i say staff, i'm lonely. who is going to blank me

tonight. and she just said things like that at her age that actually made it funnier. by the way, there she is making a lady gaga joke, which most 51-year-olds don't do or 61-year-olds. >> and the night before she went to the hospital, she was doing stand-up. >> she did a full hour. not just throwing out a joke or going to see someone else's show. she always put the audience first, which is your job. and didn't worry about offending. you know, it didn't -- i don't know if it really occurred to her. i think she was always going for the funny so much that she stopped being startled when celebrities would be upset with her. but thought it was kind of fun around the end. >> there wassomething almost kind of sensitive about her. >> absolutely. >> the first time i met her, i was moved by how vulnerable she was. >> she has been through everything, and so much more than anyone else out there. we're having dinner three weeks ago. she just kept saying aren't we lucky? sometimes i get bitter and i raise my fist to the sky.

and she says no, we're having fun. and aren't we lucky to be doing this? and its best job in the world. >> it really says a lot about her. thank you. thanks for being here. you did good. ♪ tonight on unguarded with rachel nichols, super bowl champion richard sherman is back and still speaking his mind. >> i sometimes challenge the norm, the majority. sometimes you need that to spice things up. >> unmatched, tiger and rory, the two biggest names in golf. discuss who is really the face of the s