protests and let you know if anything erupts tonight. thanks for joining me. i'm ana cabrera. a quick look ahead at 8:00 eastern, anthony bourdain takes you to shanghai. mike rowe backstage in las vegas. followed by 10:00 eastern, with "this is life" with lisa ling. i hate to have to report this. >> a shocking announcement. >> actor robin williams is dead at the age of 63. >> the apparent suicide of robin williams. >> mr. williams' life ended from as fixia due to hanging. >> a brilliant comedian. a celebrated actor. >> dead poets dedicated to sucking the marrow out of life. >> reporter: yet a tortured soul. >> i'll come back in the morning and i'll call you if you'll let me. >> reporter: on camera, he found

humor everywhere. but off camera, he was struggling with a devastating depression and a frightening diagnosis. >> a personal statement from robin williams' widow. her late husband was suffering from parkinson's disease. >> reporter: with the world reeling from the shocking news, we look at the life and laughter -- >> i am what i am! >> reporter: the darkness and despair. now, a cnn spotlight "remembering robin." the vigil started almost immediately after the world learned that robin williams had died. >> he could be anybody. he could be all of us. he wasn't just robin. he was like the collective conscience, like a conduit, for a lot of people. >> heartbreaking and shocking,

because this robin williams, dark and depressed, couldn't have been farther from who we first met. ♪ sunday monday happy days >> reporter: mork, the alien, was first introduced on the tv sitcom "happy days." >> just count to three, then, specimen. >> get him, fonz, 1, 2, 3! >> no contest. let's go, specimen. >> it was kind of a fluke. garry marshall was inviting comics in to audition. it was an open call and richard lewis walked out and said i don't speak norwegian. could so i just went in and said let's be crazy and see what happens. >> crazy and unscripted seemed to work for williams. he got the part. >> remember me? mork from ork? you once called me the nutso from outer space? >> working with henry winkler. >> we started rehearsing, and i realized that i was in the presence of greatness. hands down, this is not

hyperbole. >> henry winkler met williams the day he got on to the set. >> i just realized, my only job is to keep a straight face. and it was impossible. because no matter what you said to him, no matter what line you gave to him, he took it in, processed it, and then it flew out of his mouth, never the same way twice. >> born in chicago on july 21st of 1951, williams grew up in michigan, played football, then settled with his family in marin county, california. despite his shyness, high school drama drew him out of his shell and led him to become only 1 of 20 actors admitted to the prestigious juilliard school. along with classmate christopher reeve. >> we were both program at juilliard called the masters program, an accelerated two-year program. basically to get us into the

acting company really quickly. he was obviously brought in as the handsome leading man and i was brought in as the furry character actor. >> it was here they both honed their skills. >> we were both in there together. hausman sitting in a room with us going mr. williams, mr. reaves, the theater needs you. >> and created a lifelong friendship. >> robin williams is the definition of generosity. >> christopher reeve told cnn's larry king all about it in 1996. >> 22 years, we go back to juilliard together. but there is this crazy cockamamy story that went around that we had signed some pact. >> pact? >> yeah, like what, on a napkin in the cafeteria in juilliard or something? >> saying what? >> that if either of us gets in trouble we'll take care of each other. >> in 1976, he left juilliard. williams was on a fast track. >> nanu nanu. >> mork was such a success on "happy days," it would spinoff

as its own sitcom. >> you know, when he would break for lunch and he was working with jonathan winters on his show, "mork & mindy", they would walk down the street together, and all of a sudden just stop and then they would start to b kibbutz and improvise and this routine. in minutes, almost the entire lot was standing there like an open-air theater, watching these two great minds go at it. >> in the years after mork & mindy, williams would have great success on the stand-up comedy circuit. >> it has been brief, 'tis over, and the lights to turn bright. i'm melting! help me! >> a comedic genius fueled by his incredible improvisation. something he discussed with

james lipton on "inside the actor studio." >> are you thinking faster than the rest of us? what the hell is going on? >> what is in your mind? what is it that does this thing to you? try to explain yourself! >> but it wasn't just williams' brilliance. during those early years, cocaine also fueled him. and a frenetic, be unpredictability became a hallmark. it would be the death of his friend, john bell usually in 1982 and the birth of his son that scared williams straight. years later, addiction became part of his historic stand-up act at the metropolitan opera house. >> you know what i'm talking about? the peruvian marching powder. nice thing, though, cocaine. what a wonderful drug. anything that makes you paranoid and i am potent, give me more of that.

>> coming up, a sober robin williams wins over the world. but his depression is still lurking. whenwork with equity experts who work with regional experts

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♪ mork calling orson. come in orson. ? >> in 1980, robin williams was

still starring in the popular sitcom, "mork & mindy." >> nanu nanu. >> when he made his big-screen premier at popeye for director robert altman. ♪ i am what i am what i am and that's all that i am ♪ ♪ >> popeye and the handful of films thatled today were mostly disappointing. >> good morning vietnam! >> finally, director barry levinson found the actor a role that offered the perfect fit. >> is that me or does that sound like an elvis presley movie? >> his role as a rogue military disc jockey won him on oscar nomination for best actor. >> hey, is it too early for being that loud? too late. >> as did being an english teacher in 1989's dead poet's society. >> dead poet's dedicated to sucking the marrow out of life.

>> i think dead poet was probably my favorite. i once met a guy who he said i gave up my job at sears and became a teacher because of you. and i went, i hope things are going well. >> williams earned a third such oscar nod for his depiction of a man who becomes unhinge and had homeless after the murder of his wife. >> i'll come back in the morning and i'll call you if you let me. then came his role as john mcguire, community college psychology professor and therapist. >> you don't know about real loss. because that only occurs when you love something more than you love yourself. >> finally, in 1997's "goodwill hunting" the role that brought him his one and only academy award for best supporting actor. >> you'reter fight of what you might say. >> even while tackling his serious roles, williams never stopped being funny. and it seemed he was always on. >> if it there are movies on a

plane, and people are going, let me off. i can't stand the movie! >> i've had movies that have had premiers on planes. >> that's how i feel -- i don't need the headset, thank you. >> put us down in denver. we just don't like this. >> we would like to drop here. we were going to tokyo, but please let us off. . >> williams and billy crystal teamed up to co host comic relief. eight telethons over 20 years, using their humor to heal and give hope. raising more than $50 million. >> start dialing, don't be afraid, use your fingers, let go yourself for a moment and get to the phone. >> the last telethon in 2006, the same year he played teddy roosevelt in "a night at the museum." >> ah! >> 2006 was also the year that struggles with addiction led williams back to rehab. >> live, with larry king! >> he would joke with larry king about that, and what came after. >> you keep going, because there's a strange secret

organization that you go to -- >> yeah, alcoholics anonymous. >> don't say it, shhh, it's unanimous. you go to those and find other people who have done things that made you look amish. and you come out the other side like, you know, i almost have a year now without that, so it's good. >> but staying clean and sober would remain a challenge for williams. even as other parts of his life seemed to be unraveling. in 2008, his 19-year marriage to his second wife would end in divorce. then 2009, he would be rushed to the hospital, heart problems, surgery, and the difficult recovery he would laugh about on the "ellen" show. >> you have a heart surgery and literally they crack the box and you get really vulnerable. you would be like -- a kitten! it's a kitten! and you get very, very emotional about everything. but i think that's in a way a wonderful thing. it really opens you up to

everything. >> robin williams' life trajectory would take a decided upward turn two years later. there was marriage to third wife, susan schneider and his broadway acting debut in bengal tiger at the baghdad zoo with williams playing the tiger. >> it's alarming, this life after death. the fact is, tigers are atheists. all of us. unabashed. >> then, just last year, his career came full circle. when he returned to the small screen with former "mork & mindy" co star, pam dawber in the cbs sitcom "the crazy ones." >> you're like an alien. >> but off-screen, williams was struggling with depression. >> he had at least three reasons to have severe depression. he clearly had the genetic basis, he had addiction, and a recent relapse after a long period of sobriety and cardiac surgery. when you have your chest opened

up, the biology is such that it affects the brain and causes severe depression many times. >> there was also something else williams was dealing with. parkinson's disease. a neurological disorder that affects movement. williams was in the early stages of the disease. >> the diagnosis of parkinson's disease was a significant fear and burden. it would be for anyone. but in the case of robin williams, he used cycling and exercise as a way to help manage his depression. and the notion that he wouldn't be able to be as physically active only added to that depression. >> on monday, he was found in his home, dead. an apparent suicide. he was 63 years old. >> the personal assistant was able to gain access to mr. williams' bedroom and entered the bedroom to find mr. williams clothed in a seated position, unresponsive with a belt secured around his neck with the other end of the belt wedged betweened

the closed closet door and door frame. >> this poor man, he survived the cardiac disease. but the brain disease he was taken away from his family, us, his -- himself. the brain disease is what took him away. >> took him away from family, fans and friends. stunned by the loss. >> yesterday we had a start. today unfortunately we have a legend. ♪

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a brilliant comedian award winning actor, husband, father and friend, found dead in his home at 63. robin williams was be loved by those who knew him. >> the loss of such a great man and i knew him as a friend and admired him. a legend. unbelievable. >> one of the greatest we're all

blessed to have that experience and those who had a chance to work with him are even more blessed. if anything else i learned how wonderful it is to be an artist by watching him. how wonderful it is. rest in peace, my brother. >> he was also revered by the fans whose lives he touched. >> there's no one that can top him. for me, this is my hero that's passed. it's a really devastating time. >> if you're having a bad day or down for any reason, watching any of his movies could lift you up. >> the closest to williams say they are overcome by profound grief but want his legacy to be one of happiness. robin's wife, susan schneider released a statement that reads in part, as he is remembered we hope the focus is not on robin's death but countless moments of joy and laughter he gave to millions.

the comedy clubs paying contribute to the san francisco neighborhoods he called home and streets of new york and halls of washington, the outpouring of tributes to williams are a testament to the impact of his work. president obama recalled some of his most memorable roles. robin williams was an airman, a doctor, a genie, a nanny, a president, a professor, a bang-a-rang peter pan and everything in between. but he was one-of-a-kind. he arrived in our lives as an alien but he ended up touching every element of the human spirit. williams' spirit was described by those who knew him as electric. henry winkler work with him on the tv series, "happy days". >> he was electrifying and he was like that no matter what he did all the time. when i watched him. when we crossed paths, when he was doing his show up to the street on paramount, all i saw was wouldn'tless energy.

he would work all day. he would go to the clubs at night and do stand-up and work on his act. you met him and there was a wave of warmth that swept out at him that covered you like a blanket. >> his talent -- >> irreplaceable. there is no one to now fill his shoes. those shoes will remain right there, empty forever. >> comedians at carolines in new york remember williams with admiration. >> he was a genius. he was very very quick. if you laughed at one of his jokes, if you didn't get it, he was onto the next one. a lot of times you watch his stuff, you have to rewind it and go back because he's just so fast and it came naturally to him. >> at l.a.'s comedy store awher williams' career took off in the '70s, paul rodriguez choked back tears. >> i was working in the comedy store and he talked to the owner, mitzi shore and said,

this kid deserves to be on the lineup, i got in this lineup. >> pauley,s who family owns the store. >> robin used to pick up his check from "mork & mindy" in his outfit, his nano nano outfit and he used to pick up his check and do nano nano to me. >> in hollywood, williams is already an icon. >> yesterday, we had a superstar and unfortunately we have a legend. >> he had a lot of compassion and did a lot of things for a lot of people publicly and privately. he transcended his fear of expertise, a benchmark as a comedian and crossed over in other areas and excelled at everything. he's gone way too soon. very talented and we will all miss him. >> he will be missed for more than his talent. u.s. secretary of defense chuck hagel expressed appreciation for

his military supreme court, saying from entertaining thousands of servicemen and women he was a loyal and compassionate advocate for all who served this nation in uniform. he will be dearly missed by the men and women of d.o.d., so many personally touched by his generosity. >> we raised about a million dollars. more coming in. i feel real good. >> an active supporter of comic relief from its inception in 1986, williams helped rai$1986, 50man 50 m million to combat homelessness. when asked about his death, he tweeted no words. generous is a word used to describe him time and again by those he knew including

"birdcage" co-star, nathan lane. he said what i will always remember about robin, perhaps more than his comic genius and extraordinary talent and astounding intellect was his huge heart, generousty and kindness and compassion and fellow traveler in a difficult world made lighter by the laughter williams brought to it. williams leaves more comedy work behind. he has several upcoming films including another in "the night at the museum" series. williams who spoke often and lovingly of his three children might consider them his greatest leg gas it. his daughter, zelda, paid tribute to her father on twitter from the french reiter, you alone will have stars as no one else has them. in one of the stars, i shall be living. in one of them, i shall be laughing. and so it will be, as if all of

the stars will be laughing when you look at the sky at night. she added, i love you, i miss you, i'll try to keep looking up. ♪ ♪ ♪ what are our expectations?