countries and 40 states. my new goal is to distribute books to every state in the u.s. and every country in the world. >> i'm a preschool teacher with english language learners. >> i'm looking for second through fifth grade. >> meeting the teachers, it's amazing, because i hear all about the kids they serve. >> thank you, sweetie. >> thank you for coming. >> thank you for the good work. >> good afternoon. >> we have about 1,280 students. a large homeless and highly mobile population. they're in great need. >> when they came to my school, i was so excited and she just gave us books for free and it was amazing. >> literacy is so important in education. i want kids to have a better life. i know that reading can do that. >> nominations are open right now at cnn heroes.com.

that's it for us tonight. i'm don lemon. thanks for watching. see you back here tomorrow. ac 360 starts right now. >> good evening, thanks for joining us, it's hard to imagine and truly sad to say, but this is the big story tonight. 50 years after selma and the voting rights act, a bus load of young white men singing about hanging young black men from trees. the incident and the uproar happening at one of america's best known universities and we'll talk about it tonight. but first, quickly, breaking news out of ferguson, missouri, ronald brock mire, the judge who imposed harsh fines on local citizens while getting his own tickets fixed, according to that scathing justice report, he has now stepped down. he also, you may recall, owes about $170,000 in back taxes. a lawyer in his firm said that the judge recognizes he's lost the public trust in the wake of the department of justice report. now to the video and the

outrage that extends far beyond the college campus and the fraternity where it originated. a fraternity at the university of oklahoma has been shut down after members were caught on video chanting racist slogans. here's a look at the video showing members of the sigma alpha epsilon on a bus on their way to a party. ♪ there will never be a [ bleep ] in sae ♪ >> that's night, the national chapter suspended the university of oklahoma members and today the university's president had this to say. >> as far as i'm concerned, it won't be back, at least not while i'm president of the university. [ applause ] >> it's time we spend a message that's very strong and very clear. >> the video sparked protests on

campus. ♪ you can hang them from a tree ♪ >> reporter: the chant is so offensive, it's hard to listen to. ♪ there will never be a [ bleep ] at sae ♪ ♪ you can hang them from a tree ♪ >> reporter: sae short for sigma alpha epsilon, this chapter at the university of oklahoma is on their way to a saturday night party, celebrating the fraternity's founding. the video was sent anonymously to a group that works to fight racism. on sunday they posted it online. >> this chant wasn't something learned overnight. it was something that was well known, well versed, that everything on that bus felt privileged to say and clap at. >> the video exploded online, the outrage was universal. by sunday night, the national headquarters suspended its ou chapter. >> it's appalling and

disgusting. we are just as shocked and outraged as other people, because that's not the type of behavior that sae is about. >> today the university president announced all fraternity members were evicted from their house. >> and as they pack their bags, i hope they think long and hard about what they've done. this is not who we are, and we won't tolerate it, not for one minute from anybody. so those students will be out of that house by midnight tomorrow night. the house will be closed. and as far as i'm concerned, it won't be back. >> storm clouds were overhead as fraternity members loaded up u-haul trucks outside the sae house earlier today. campus police stood guard. some of the frat brothers reportedly had received death threats. and on one side of the house, someone had spray painted graffiti that appeared to read "tear it down."

the university continues to investigate saying expulsion is one option on the table for anyone chanting such hateful words. >> i'm joined now from oklahoma. what's the status of fraternity members at this point? >> reporter: right now the university is still working to identify the students who were seen on that video and any student who may have been participating in the chanting. at this point, the university is still not sure what kind of punishment these students will be facing, but the university president has made it very clear that they will be exploring all of their options. >> and reaction on campus, what's the mood there? i know there have been protests? >> there have been protests, as you mentioned, and the thing is, as you would expect, there's going to be disgust. there's going to be a lot of outrage on campus among students. but what we found interesting, among some african american students, they're not necessarily surprised by what they saw on the video. what they find surprising is that this fraternity was

actually caught in the act. that it was caught on videotape. that's why some students here are saying that now they really should take a closer look at the entire greek system, because they believe that this happens more often than we know. anderson? >> appreciate the update. joining me now is chelsea davis, what we just saw in the report. she's co-director of the campus group that brought the video to light. also with former federal prosecutor sunny hostin and charles blow. chelsea, when you first saw this video, what went through your mind? because as you point out, it seems like this is a chant that they have said before. they clearly seem to know what to say. >> most definitely this chant was not something that was brand new. this is something that was learned and rehearsed. when i first initially saw the video, i was hurt, i was disgusting. it really was disappointing to see other ou students referring

to other students in such derogatory terms. i'm at a loss for words. >> were you completely surprised? i understand until yesterday there was a confederate flag hanging inside the fraternity, it was visible from the street. do you think it's localized to this fraternity or fraternities in general? >> i think it's a culture thing that people just think that saying such derogatory terms are okay, chanting these things are okay and they're going to get away with it. it took them getting caught on video camera for this to happen. but this is definitely not something that is brand new. it's not something that's only seen in this one organization. >> and the young man leading this chant seems to have no problem being videotaped. >> i think that's surprising to me. we know we're not living in a post racial society. we've seen the ferguson report. but we've been talking about

racism more in the context of police departments and quite frankly more in the context of people over 40. so what was surprising to me was the notion that you have millenials who should -- i don't know -- should be educated, should be more enlightened. i'm just very surprised that we still don't do better, even though we know better. >> charles, you're shaking your head. >> right, because strangely enough, that's not what the data shows. when you look at the data from the racial implicit bias tests, the group with the highest levels of bias are those that are older. we expect that. >> right. >> the second highest group is young people, young adults, those including college-aged students. and what we have to recognize as a society is that we are raising a group of people who are part of the most diverse generation ever in this country. but also a part of an increasingly segregated

generation because we're segregating ourselves. this is not stand-mandated. we are doing it ourselves. we are self-sorting. some people are choosing self-sorting and moving into enclaves by income or by race, and other people are stuck because of inequality and inability to move out of enclaves. so we see an educational system that is increasingly segregated. and by some measures, more segregated than before brown versus board of education. >> chelsea, on campus, do you get that sense of segregation, and if so, what's the solution to that? >> most definitely. it's one thing that ou has been fighting for on this campus is diversity and inclusion of all minority groups. we as black people feel separated from the majority because we're low on numbers, and two, the atmosphere is just not appealing, it's not culturally appealing to us as black students. so it's a social issue that needs to change, and not just at

ou, but within our nation, this is awe cultural issue that needs to be addressed. and people need to understand that although my skin tone is it different, it doesn't make me less educated or less of a human being than you. >> what do you think should happen to the students? the university is looking to see whether the students violated school code. >> i would assume there's a code of conduct and they've violated it. so going to this university say privilege, not a right. so i would suspect that the appropriate thing to do after an investigation is to dismiss these students and expel these students from the school. and i don't think that that's too harsh. because now that we know this is an issue, and you have these students that are suffering. you see how she's suffering from this. i think you have to send that message at this point that this will not be tolerated. >> the other thing that's disturbing about this, these are

young people who, i don't know if they're seniors or not, they're going to be going out into jobs, making decisions that may be impacting other people. maybe they work at a bank and decide who gets a loan or not. and hopefully they'll evolve in their understanding and empathy. but if you're starting out with a base of this kind of a platform, it's a worrying thing. >> it's a worrying thing on a lot of levels. it's a worrying thing of what can happen in kind of crowd behavior, and pact mentalities. there are people on the bus who felt uncomfortable but still went along because everybody else was doing it. all of that can happen when nobody thinks anybody is looking and then those people steph off that bus and you don't know that they hold those feelings or they were going with going along with it. all of that is disturbing, but not necessarily surprising. we have to remember that this is

how this sort of behavior operates in a society. people can be hateful. people can be followers. people can be indoctrinated into those sorts of things. as you mentioned before and the young lady mentioned, everybody knows the song. >> yeah, it didn't seem like they were just learning it. >> he's saying something. they're saying something back. it's not the first time. >> it's one thing if you're a young person and you do something you regret. it will be interesting to see if they come forward and express regret and apologies. it will be interesting to see what steps they begin to take. chelsea davis, great to have you on the program. just ahead, public outcry over the killing of a young biracial man by a police officer. that is the very public effort to make everything transparent. and also, a baby girl found alive after being trapped for 14 hours after a car flipped into a

cold river in utah. rescuers say they heard calls for help from inside the car, but they still don't know whose calls they heard. i'll talk to those rescuers tonight. people with type 2 diabetes

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>> and let's be very clear. very, very clear. it takes one bullet from trained -- from a trained gunman to end a life. it takes one bullet. and we know how many were fired. >> in fact, we do not know precisely what happened. we do know that for the protesters, their echoes of ferguson here. we also know that efforts are being made to apply the hard lessons of ferguson and do things differently this time. madison's mayor joins us shortly. but first, gary tuchman with the facts we know. >> we will not accept them shooting one of our children! >> reporter: the basic fact is not being disputed. a 19-year-old biracial man was shot and killed by a white madison, wisconsin, police officer named matt kenny, inside this home. >> black lives matter! >> reporter: but tre are so many questions about why it

happened. this past friday night, a call came in here to madison police headquarters. that a disturbance was taking place on the street. as officers raced to the scene, they were told additional calls were coming in about the disturbance. one particular name was being mentioned. >> look for a male black, white-skinned, tan jacket, jeans, outside ylg yelling and jumping in front of cars. 19 years of age. his name is tony robinson. >> reporter: the calls about tony robinson continued to come in to police. >> apparently tony hit one of his friends. >> reporter: then a man called saying he had been assaulted by robinson. >> apparently the victim will be waiting at the restaurant at 1146 willy street. >> reporter: and about 30 seconds later -- >> got another call for the same suspect. tried to strangle another patron. >> reporter: let's give you a lay of the land regarding the recordings you just heard. that building with the red awning where the man who said he was victimized was waiting for

police. right down the street at the gas station, where robinson was seen without his shirt, and then across the street from the gas station you can see the police cars here. this is the house where it happened. officer kenny went up to the door where the tarp is, and that's where he fired the shots. a neighbor in the duplex says she heard it all happen. she says two brothers shared the other unit in the duplex. and tony robinson was their friend. >> i heard rustling, and things being knocked over, and my kitchen actually, our ceiling kind of shook and the light. i figured, you know, somebody -- something was going on. i heard more -- somebody go down the stairs. then i heard the shots. >> reporter: you heard the gunshots? >> yes. >> reporter: how many did you hear? >> four to six. >> reporter: robinson was pronounced dead at the hospital. the police chief said robinson struck the officer in the head when he went into the house. robinson has had problems with the law.

he pleaded guilty to participating in an armed robbery in madison last year. and was serving probation as a result. the man who shot him, officer kenny, has been placed on paid administrative leave. jim palmer is the police union director and represents the officer. did he have a taser with him and why didn't he use the taser first? >> i believe that's something we probably won't comment on. typically i will tell you an officer won't use a taser unless they have lethal backup. >> reporter: so if he doesn't have someone else with a gun, you're not supposed to use your taser here in wisconsin? >> that's generally the policy, correct. >> reporter: an investigation is under way for the shooting death of tony robinson. the unichief -- union chief saying it will take a minimum of four to six months to complete. >> gary tuchman joins us from madison. it seems like police in madison are handling the situation much differently than ferguson. >> reporter: it's easy to learn from what happened in ferguson, the situation here and the atmosphere here is much different. for example, the name of this officer was released almost immediately, much different than

ferguson. also, the police chief has been very open. he said this weekend that it's clear that mr. robinson was unarmed. and that's a controversial fact that will make this all much more difficult to unravel, but he said it right away, he wasn't obligated to say that fact right away. in another big difference, you've had large protests and demonstrations here, but they have remained peaceful. demonstrators lighting candles in front of the house. >> gary, thank you very much. >> joining us from madison is the mayor. appreciate you being with us. i'm sorry it's under these circumstances. at this point do you have any more clarity about what transpired inside that house between the officer and this young man that actually led to the shooting? >> unfortunately, i don't, mr. cooper. the investigation is being conducted by the state. we have a new law here in wisconsin where departments are no longer conducting their own internal investigations for officer involved shootings. >> tony robinson's uncle said today he believes this is an example of what he called

systematic targeting of young black males. those who support the police action said as tragic as it was, given this man's history, given alleged assaults he had committed that night, and what may have -- whatever transpired in that house, they believe the shooting was justified. what do you say to the family? >> well, i met with the family the night of the shooting, and there are several things in our conversation that i think are important. but first, is that we are not going to put tony on trial. that's not what this is about. what this is about is finding out exactly what happened that night. and to determine then responsibility. we know that he was not armed. and as far as the police chief, chief koval, and i are concerned, the fact that tony was involved in any kind of

transgression in the past has nothing to do with this present tragedy. >> what's your message out to the people protesting tonight? should they have confidence in the investigation that's under way? do you have confidence in it? >> i have confidence in it to the degree that i believe that the justice department is going to do a fair job. i do have some concerns because no one in the state has gone through this before. so that is one reservation that i have. but in terms of the students and the young people who are really feeling the tragedy, and for most of our high school students, young college students under the age of 20, 22, other than a family loss, this may well be the greatest tragedy that they've experienced.

and to date, they've expressed frustration. they've expressed anger. and outrage about what's happening. that is their prerogative, that is their right. and it's been done in a very appropriate manner up until now. some of the personal attacks on police officers, i have reservations about. but by and large, things have gone well. >> well, mr. mayor, again, i'm sorry it's under these circumstances we're talking. i appreciate you coming on tonight. thank you very much. up next, an amazing story. how a little girl survived 14 hours in a river so cold her rescuers got hypothermia. we'll talk to them about the rescue. and the mysterious voice that say guided them to the vehicle, with no one else alive in the car, who was actually calling out to help, who was saying help me, help me. i'll talk to four of the rescuers tonight. ♪ ♪

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a little girl opened her eyes today. she opened her eyes in a utah hospital to caring professionals, a loving family and a world to conquer. lily grossbeck just 18 months old.

she has that chance tonight. she was trapped in the wreckage of her mom's car after 14 hours in a freezing river. where that voice came from, remains a mystery. here is my conversation with the first responders. first, though, lily and her incredible story from our elizabeth cohen. >> reporter: late friday night a man living in this neighborhood outside of salt lake city hears a crash. he looks outside his door and sees nothing. what he doesn't know, a car has skidded off the road and is now partially submerged in the spanish fork river. it takes until noontime saturday for the car to be spotted. a local fisherman sees the overturned vehicle in the water. >> a witness said there was an arm he could see inside the vehicle. >> reporter: the fisherman calls 911. spanish fork police officers respond and wade out to the car. >> it felt like i could hear somebody telling me they needed help. it was very surreal. something that i felt like i could hear. >> reporter: they're not sure where the voice came from. when they get to the car, the

scene is grim. 25-year-old lynn jennifer grossbeck is dead in the driver's seated. but in the back seat, rescuers find her daughter lilly, just 18 months old. she's in her car seat hanging upside down in a part of the car not submerged in the water. the toddler is unconscious and unresponsive, but alive. the officers flip the car over. >> grabbed the baby in my arm, raised its head up out of the water as i tried to release the seat belt. the child was passed to me. and i just ran up and climbed in the ambulance with the child. >> reporter: for 14 hours she survived hanging upside down in freezing temperatures in the upper 20s, with no food or water. >> it's amazing. children are very resilient. i think sometimes we don't realize how much they can withstand. >> reporter: as for the temperature, being cold might actually have helped lilly. >> when you become hypothermic, it slows the body down. metabolism drops.

your oxygen consumption drops, your glucose metabolism drops. it actually ends up being neuro protective. >> reporter: the main reason she survived this awful crash is that her mother buckled her up in a car seat so she didn't go through a window or drown. something that isn't surprising to jennifer's sister. >> she loves lilly with all her heart. she was the love of her life. >> reporter: primary children's medical center said the toddler is in stable condition and improving. the family shared this about her today. her improvement is astounding. right now she's watching dora and singing wheels on the bus with grampa. she's smiling and laughing for family members. we're blown away by lilly's progress and grateful to her rescuers. elizabeth co-cohen, cnn reporting. >> we were blown away by her rescuers who made that possible. paul pulled lily from the water. both members of the spanish fork

fire department. and officers jared warner and tyler bedos of the spanish fork police. i spoke to them a short time ago. tyler, take us back to the moment you first arrived at the vehicle. did you think there was any possibility that someone could still be alive in there? >> when we first got the report there was a vehicle upside down in the river, a fisherman had walked by the vehicle, we didn't know if it was abandoned or anyone was inside the vehicle. it wasn't until we were about there that we got a report saying that they could see an arm protruding from the vehicle. >> so how much of the vehicle was submerged at that point, jared? >> the roof, it was upside down in the river. water was probably eight inches from the top of the door frame where the window meets. so definitely the roof section was submerged. >> and was lily in the water itself? >> not at that moment. she was fortunately placed at the rear of the vehicle in the

back seat. when it was upside down, that suspended her to where she was out of the water at that time. >> tyler, when you arrived on scene, what did you do? >> we heard something saying help us, help us inside. so it was at that point that we said we have to get in that car now. and we all -- the four of us were able to push the car on its side. that's when i looked inside and was able to see the child infant strapped in the back seat. >> so you actually heard a voice calling out "help me"? do you know who that was? >> you know, at first we didn't know if it was someone inside the car, if it was -- what that voice was. we assumed, or i assumed it was someone in the car saying help me. that's why we responded saying, we're trying, we're going to get inside and help you. we're doing the best we can. that was just extra motivation. to get inside the car and figure out who was in there. it wasn't until after we flipped it that we saw the mother who we

know now was deceased at the time and the child was in the back seat. so it wasn't until after that you really process and we got together and we all heard the same, you know, voice. >> jared, you heard that voice as well? >> yes, i did. like officer bedos said, more than one of us, of the four officers that were there, responded back saying, we're here to help. >> when lily was finally freed from the wreck, what condition was she in? >> i could tell she had some life in her. i could see her eyes moving. she wasn't breathing at that time. things went so quickly, that i just handed her up out of the car as fast as i could to get her out, and get her into the proper hands. >> so she wasn't crying or anything like that? >> no. no. >> i'm really intrigued by this voice you heard.

i guess it's something of a mystery to you at this point. do you think it's possible it came -- is it possible the mother was still alive when you guys came on scene? what do you make of it? >> for two nights i've laid awake trying to figure out exactly what it could be. and so many things go through your mind. all i know is that it was there. and we all heard it. and that just helped us to push us harder, like i say. and do what we could to rescue anyone inside the car. >> tyler, i understand you've got some information today about lily's condition. how is she doing? >> i was told today that her eyes were open today. and that she was actually laughing, and interacting with family members. and it's just incredible to hear. and our heart goes out to the family. >> the job all of you do is difficult on any day. but to have an outcome like this, where you were able to save a little girl's life is just extraordinary.

i just want to thank you very much for taking the time to talk to us. >> thank you. >> thank you, anderson. appreciate it. >> amazing. amazing rescuers and credit to the other rescuers who were there as well. just ahead, i'll speak with a critic of vladimir putin. that's next. is computing to empower cancer researchers. it used to take two weeks to sequence and analyze a genome; with the microsoft cloud we can analyze 100 per day. whatever i can do to help compute a cure for cancer, that's what i'd like to do. performance sales the event has begun. come experience what's made lexus the fastest-growing automotive luxury brand on the road.

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five people have been arrested in connection with the killing of boris nemtsov. a sixth man killed himself. neff sof was shot and killed as he was walking near the kremlin, one of the most highly policed, most heavily watched places on earth. video cameras everywhere. mysteriously there's only this one piece of video that's been released. at the time skeptics predicted authorities would either fail to investigate or would round up some fall guys, namely ethnic chechens. pro-democracy activist and former world chess champion, garry kasparov. what do you think of the arrests that have been made and the statements about the people arrested? >> actually, we don't have too much to learn from the official statements. because it's very brief.

they've been arrested, they're suspects. again, we are hearing stories on -- from unnamed sources, pointing out that one of these guys, you know, saying that he confessed. it's not confirmed by official sources. all we heard from this man in the courtroom, i love prophet muhammad. i don't think it proves anything. >> one of the motives that's been put forward -- >> officially. >> -- officially, was that nemtsov had supported members of "charlie hebdo," and that this was in response to "charlie hebdo." >> he was not a frequent guest on russian television. and these guys, they didn't seem to me like they were reading his facebook or listening to liberal radio station. so i don't know how on earth they could find out who is boris nemtsov. who is quite tacit in his comments about paris. you know, said about these attacks on "charlie hebdo," in paris. also, from the very beginning,

we can hear time and again this unnamed source throwing out false information. in one hour, we heard about boris nemtsov being shot from the white car. again, proved to be bogus. again, many times unnamed sources instead of official investigative committee, provided us with information that proved to be wrong. >> what is the chance that anything will ever actually be known? >> probably, again, there's a chance these guys or one of them killed boris nemtsov, or one of them did. someone did. but who pulled the trigger is less than who pulled the strings. i wouldn't be surprised if we're facing a battle between different groups. without any doubt, no doubt at all that this order couldn't take place without the full cooperation of security officers. because they control the breach completely. >> the leader in chechnya

entered the fray, sort of tweeting out comments about -- >> again putin awarded him, the main suspect of killing in london in 2006, again, very strange coincidence. >> vladimir putin on this day awarded -- >> awarded. i think this might be, though, a plan of some people surrounding putin who hated him because of the big fight between russian security officials, and the chechen strong man, who is a big putin supporter. so i would not be surprised if we learn much more. also, the video you showed, it's the only one that's available. and it came from the moscow tv channel. which is not controlled by kremlin, but by the moscow mayor. we know there are other cameras from other programs working, and showing it from a different angle. too many questions remain unanswered. hopefully we'll have a chance to learn more.

definitely the kremlin's policy will now just to be -- >> tamp it down. >> absolutely. >> thank you. up next, he thought it was just a bruise until he had his arm amputated. milds o'brian says he's proof your life can change in an instant. the question is, how do you deal with that change? >> this is a nightmare. this has got to be a nightmare. this can't be real. olling over your old 401k. cue the horns... just harness the confidence it took you to win me and call td ameritrade's rollover consultants. they'll help with the hassle by guiding you through the whole process step by step. and they'll even call your old provider. it's easy. even she could do it. whatever, janet. for all the confidence you need td ameritrade. you got this.

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tomorrow night, on cnn, miles o'brien shares his incredible emotional journey after he lost his arm in a freak accident. a year ago, a camera box fell on his forearm when he was working in the philippines. he thought nothing of it at first. thought it was just a bruise. 48 hours later, he was fighting for his life, and ended up losing his left arm. he agreed to tell the story to our sanjay gupta. here's a preview of miles o'brien, a life lost and found. >> i could barely believe what i saw. i mean, you know, it's amazing that i could -- you know, it felt like it was there. it really did. but it wasn't.

>> miles was alive. but he was in deep denial over what had just happened to him. >> i don't think we're very good human beings in general, at perceiving what our real risks are, right? you tell people you're going to fukushima, they go, you're crazy. you tell people, i'm stacking up some pelican cases, they say, so what. other perception of risk does not match the reality. and i have learned that in a very painful way. >> the denial was so strong, miles left the hospital two days after his operation and checked into a hotel. he didn't tell anyone that his arm was gone. not his family, not his friends, not his co-workers. no one knew. >> the first days, weeks and months were certainly tough. now, miles says his life is better. better for going through all of this. i spoke with miles and sanjay earlier. why did you not want to tell anybody? you stayed in that hotel room for nine days. >> you know, it was a

combination of a little bit of denial, a little bit of fear, and being a dad, wanting to protect my kids. you know, you're in a mode all your life where you don't want to upset them. you want to make them -- you want to be the super dad, right? >> what were those -- i mean, if you told them on the phone, what was that conversation like? how do you go about telling somebody that? >> it's hard to believe, anderson. but what i did was, my son was in china, and my daughter was at college in north carolina. and i wanted them to be the first to know. and i wanted them to know at the same time. so i actually arranged a skype call with them. and i got them both on the skype. and i explained what happened. and it was really hard for me as a dad to, you know, how do i tell this to them. they're adults. they can handle it. i wasn't giving them much credit, frankly. and without even hesitation, they said, dad, you know, there

were expressions of shock, but the next thing out of their mouth was, dad, we love you. and we're here to support you. and that was the best call i ever had in my life. and it made me realize how stupid i was to think i had to hold back from them. >> it's been a year since the accident. it's a dumb question, but what has this year been like? >> it's been a tough year in many respects. i've had to relearn very simple things, you know. how to butter the bagel, or whatever the case may be. tie my tie. all those little things. and all that stuff that it took a lot of my time this year just to kind of reinvent how to get through the day. and that was at times -- it made me very frustrated, made me angry. i wasn't a happy guy a lot of the time. it wasn't like there was one particular thing. i could basically figure everything out. but i felt like i was taking up

a lot of my time just figuring out very basic things. but when i look back on this year, you know, it's very hard for me to watch the film, frankly. it's very difficult. because it's like so many things in life, it's almost kind of easier to live through them than to reflect back on them and think about them. especially when it's told in the way sanjay told it. it's really a very powerful film. it will be a powerful film for me to watch. i wasn't in it. it's very difficult, probably a little bit of ptsd for me to see that and have that story told that way. but what i've learned this year is that, number one, we all have a reservoir of resilience if we're willing to draw from it. >> there were moments where you thought about ending your life. >> yeah. well, i thought my life was over. >> it really felt like your life was over? >> i didn't know -- i didn't have a template for a one-armed television journalist. so i didn't know what i could do anymore. and that's part of what i -- you know, i literally thought what is the first thing i can do to prove that i'm still at it, as it were.

that's when i started typing, working on my scripts. and that was like the first in a series of tiny little battles that got me through this year. kind of one challenge to conquer at a time. >> were you nervous about doing this? to interview somebody who is a friend, who you know, it's a whole different thing. >> yeah, i was nervous. i think it sort of morphed into what it was as well. i remember originally when miles and i were talking, i was so interested, you know, in the science, the things that we always had in common, the prosthetics and how that was all going to work for him. i remember when i was talking to him in the first interview, and i was learning things that, you know, in medicine we like things in these nice, neat, tidy packages. we like to assign tables. you're now in denial phase, now acceptance, all these things. and, you know, during that interview and then certainly in the months that followed, i realized that things are messy. they're sticky. they don't follow rules.

you can go to acceptance and go right back to denial. you can be in bargaining phase for a long time. you can get angry. >> i want to show another piece from the documentary. it gives the viewers a sense of some of the struggle that you went through. >> reading the e-mails that poured in kept miles going in the early days after his accident. >> you got a ton of e-mails. >> yeah. >> i know i sent you e-mails. >> let's find yours. that would be right around the time, right? let's see. yeah. let's see. okay. so this is right around -- yeah, there we go. dear miles, sanjay here. i think about you nonstop. so sorry for your ordeal. we're all thinking about you and wish you the very best. we're all thinking about you and wishing you the very best. many miles stories were shared today.

this is kind of why i don't read this stuff. >> is it hard looking back? thinking back to those times? >> yeah, it's very hard. it is. yeah, it's -- you know, it's bad enough to live it. to see it just brings up a lot of stuff that ultimately i need to work through. but it's brought forward in a very focused and -- it's just difficult. it's difficult. those moments when you think about what it was like to receive those e-mails, his, and hundreds of others, showing expressions of love and support that i didn't fully appreciate, frankly. >> such an incredible journey. i urge you to watch it. miles o'brien: a life lost and

found, it airs tomorrow night at 9:00, set your dvr for it. we're all really proud of it. incredibly proud of miles and sanjay. we hope you watch. surveillance video. suge knight's fatal hit and run. and also, canine murder mystery. this dog was poisoned. the question is, did it happen at a prominent dog show, and if so, who do it? who did it? it? who did it? i it? who did it? d it? who did it? for many, prescription nexium

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amber walker has the 360 news and business. anderson, tmz obtained surveillance video showing suge knight's deadly hit and run. we've blurred the video, but it still may be tough to watch. suge knight is confronted by one of the man who attacked him. he backed up his truck and clipping him. later he hits the gas and plows into both of them, killing one of them. knight has pleaded not guilty to the charges against him. according to his attorney, he was trying to escape because he feared he would be killed. near rocky mount, north carolina, 40 passengers were injured when an amtrak train slammed into a truck carrying a mobile home. the train derailed. debris was scattered all over the tracks. according to reports, the truck driver was not hurt. and a dog died of poisoning just hours after competing in a prestigious dog show in birmingham, england, according to the owner of the irish

setter. the dog's owner said the vet told her there was enough poison to kill a horse. anderson? >> unbelievable. so sad. that does it for us. our coverage continues with cnn international. new protests in the u.s. after police shoot and kill another unarmed teenager. plus, a university fraternity is kicked off campus after a racist video is leaked. and never before seen video shows the moment the boston marathon bomber left his explosives and the chaos that followed. i'm zain asher. >> and i'm john vause. this is cnn newsroom. okay. we begin with two big