-- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com jane lewis from montana asks, this is my favorite show on tv, do you think you'll still be able to push the envelope in the travel show genre or would you like to dip into another subject? i was thinking about a show about topiary. i was thinking japanese flower arranging. watercolors. no, actually i wasn't thinking of any of those things. ♪ >> first order of business, dinner. >> oh, yeah. black pepper crab from right here.

>> oh, today just got better. lovely. >> they're not dicking around. >> dude. >> somebody throws this away. stupid people. >> it's like unicorn juice. >> chocolate -- charquaychow, bitches. >> this is just incredibly beautiful. >> would you like a drink? >> i think i would like a beer and maybe a shot of something. ♪ >> i feel like a college party or something like that. it's perfect. ♪ >> all right. the frenzy is over and now to

eat at a more relaxed pace. ♪ i took a walk through this beautiful world ♪ ♪ felt the cool rain on my shoulder ♪ ♪ found something good in this beautiful world ♪ ♪ i felt the rain getting colder ♪ ♪ sha la, la, la, la ♪ sha la, la, la, la, la, la ♪ sha la, la, la, la, la ♪ sha la, la, la, la, la, la okay. do you know what episode we're talking about? >> yes, i do. >> can you name any of them? >> no, i cannot. >> just for reference, you'll forget all these probably but it was ethiopia, okinawa, cuba, charleston, marseille, borneo, istanbul, bay area. >> mm-hmm.

>> do you have any recollection of any of these? >> it's all a blur. >> it's all a blur. just anything -- >> a long line of airports and strange toilets. >> beyond that, does anything else stick out? >> there are a few golden moments that do come to mind. >> yeah? >> that stick out from the blur. >> they do? >> yes. >> are you just saying that or do you really have golden moments? >> no. there are a few moments that i look back on that mean something to me. i mean -- flavors and smells are powerful things. you know, the -- your girlfriend -- your first girlfriend's perfume 25 years later whiffed in the street still has a powerful effect. >> let's start somewhere different. let's talk about the food first. in that set of shows. >> right. >> just for your -- >> yes. >> -- edification, we're going to hit on the noodle breakfast in kuching. >> right.

>> and on the cheese in marseille. >> okay, yeah. don't tell me what we're going to do. let's do it. ♪ >> i sat at this same table last time. i look at my life as a continuum, a trail of noodles. going round and round the world until it comes right back to the same spicy bowl. oh, yeah. that is -- can i say tumescent on cnn? yeah, i'm pretty sure i can. >> wait. before we go any further on this, can you please define tumescent for me? >> tumescent. tumescent means engorged, like plumped, filled with blood or other fluid. about to blow, so to speak.

>> this is just a magical dish. i don't know. it's like two types of noodles, i think. chicken, prawn, coconut, chili. you know, the main event to this is the broth. the wisdom of the ages is contained in there. it's like super complex. best breakfast ever. >> you -- you -- that sort of sense memory of that perfume or the scent of that girl. did you ever have a girlfriend that smelled like stinky french cheese? >> did i ever have a girlfriend that smelled of stinky french cheese? no. that's an appalling suggestion. >> cheese. oh, god, the cheese. >> oh! >> i've got to tell you, i don't care how many naked breasts are on that beach right now because

that is much more exciting. >> look at it. it's beautiful. >> yes. oh, look at that. oh, man. >> oh, i love it. >> cheese like this. that is just incredible. >> merci. >> oh, yes. ♪ >> oh, yes! oh, yes. >> that is exceptional. >> life is good. >> life is good. in marseille. >> it is very good in marseille. >> sean brock, in the scene that you guys did at the waffle house there was like a moment there when he sort of -- the admission of this is the first time -- as a kid i sat in a restaurant like this and i got

to watch people work. >> jean brock one of the greatest chefs in the country apparently had his sort of first i want to be a cook epiphany at the waffle house. his love for the place is utterly without irony. it is genuine. at a time when everyone is shouting at each other in a level political discourse is just horrendous, a place like the waffle house becomes all the more rare and enchanted and important. ♪ >> it is indeed marvelous. an irony-free zone where everything is beautiful and nothing hurts. where everybody, regardless of race, creed, color or degree of inebriation is welcomed. its warm yellow glow a beacon of hope and salvation, inviting the hungry, the lost, the seriously hammered all across the south to come inside. a place of safety and nourishment. it never closes.

it is always, always faithful, always there for you. >> now look. i'm looking at my hash brown, and i am already confused and enticed. sausage gravy. >> you can't go all in. you want everything. >> i need to make a choice. >> so there's a balance. and then when you find your balance you memorize it. smothered in chunks. >> which means i gather scattered on the griddle, heaped with brown onions, cheese and chunks of hickory-smoked ham. >> that's my style. i've been doing that since day one. and i don't even know what that means. >> you know what i know? i don't want waffles at the waffle house. >> bullshit then. you have to have -- >> waffles? >> the common waffle. what i devised as a chef is a tasting menu experience where you can sit down and really experience what this place does and you start out first thing you have, pecan waffle. >> really?

♪ >> hi, gentlemen. >> oh, the pecan waffle. you just crush it and you put every -- >> you slather it. >> i want it to be swimming in syrup and homogenized vegetable oil. >> oh, that's good. >> see? you don't come here expecting the french laundry. you come here expecting something amazing. >> this is better than the french laundry, man. >> and then second course, patty melt, split. >> oh, the patty melt! >> oh! >> come on. that's not insanely delicious? >> oh, god. >> that's insanely delicious. would you rather have thin-cut pork chops or a t-bone? >> i would like both.

♪ >> after a few bites of waffle, a burger, a hunk of generic t-bone and some hash browns, one feels drawn right to the center of what makes our country great. in america, a moment that drives me to clamber up on the counter and start reciting walt whitman, the star spangled banner, o say can you see, and i doubt i'd be the first. >> give me a break. >> the umami. >> give me a break. >> you know what umami means in japanese, actually? the literal translation of umami? >> orgasm? >> no. umami means in japanese, if you -- literally means i will -- [ muted ] your [ muted ]. that burger. [ laughter ]

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okay. this was -- this footage comes from an extended series of re-creations, historical re-creations. look, we try very, very hard all the time to be different. this is an example of something that i think was creative, sort of outrageous. the idea was to illustrate and give background to a very complicated okinawan story, okinawan history. ultimately, i just don't think it was right for my show, but a noble effort and a beautiful one.

[ speaking foreign language ] >> on april 1st, 1945, a u.s. invasion fleet of nearly 1,500 ships, a landing force of 182,000 people, that's 75,000 more than normandy, approached

okinawa. what came next was what okinawans called a typhoon of steel. the fighting was brutal for both sides. the cost in lives and resources for the allied forces was tremendous. and when it was over, military planners looked at the mainland, looked at what okinawa had cost them, and projected even more appalling losses. what is not widely known is that more people died during the battle of okinawa than all those killed during the atomic bombings of hiroshima and nagasaki. >> after the united states forces landed on okinawa, the general of the okinawan defense forces issued an order that military people and civilians you cannot use other than standard -- and if you use the

okinawan language you will be killed as a spy, you know. >> right. >> but the okinawan people could not understand the standard language. so the japanese soldiers killed lots of local people. [ speaking foreign language ] >> japanese soldiers told us if you're captured by the american g.i. all the womens tortured, abused. [ speaking foreign language ]

>> get down! get down! who else is in the cave? who else is in the cave? [ speaking foreign language ] >> american soldier was more kind, more tenders than the japanese soldier. nobody captured. nobody abused.

[ speaking foreign language ] >> the second part of this act is the lost scene that was done. again somehow we make our way back to the scent of a girl. >> really? >> yes. >> was i comparing like women to egg salad? that's a shameful metaphor is going on there, really? >> i think you may have been, yeah. >> if anybody finds that offensive they have ever right to. really? >> yeah. >> look, i was in a vulnerable and emotional state, but i was very happy to receive my little pillows of love. god, that's -- i want an egg salad sandwich from lawson right now. like right now. actually three. i would like three. >> so i've given up many vices in my life, many shameful, filthy, guilty pleasures that i

used to like that i will -- that i just don't do anymore, cocaine, heroin, prostitutes, the musical stylings of steven tyler. i've put aside these childish things, as it t were, in favor a newer, more mature me, but there is one shameful secret. one thing i just can't give up. one thing i keep coming back to every time i come back to japan, one thing that still has a holy grip on me for no reason that i can gather. it's the convenience store formerly of near akron, ohio, that mutated into a massive japanese chain. behold the wonder that is lawson. i look forward to this place.

every time i come here i think about it. i've got to have it. i can't quit you, babe. let us explore. why? what is it exactly about this place that's got its tentacles so deep into my heart and my soul. ♪ where are you? i know you're around here somewhere. pillows of love. egg salad from lawson. i need a beverage. ♪

they thoughtfully cut the crusts off, just like mom used to. so wrong, and yet so right. it's like that girl you met on the "rock of love" bus. you knew she was bad, but you had to have her. and unlike that encounter, there's no lasting aftereffect. mm.

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♪ the voice of istanbul. i've had at least 30 names. now they say i'm between the east and the west. an identity crisis. >> this space turns into a space of politics, a space of hope against this system which seems to be, like, impossible to break, actually.

>> enough of this nonsense. ♪ take the labels off and just look at me. >> in the beginning of the 20th century there was a lot of anti-asian prejudice. >> there are too many and they're taking our jobs is the usual. >> some of them are buying our land. >> a challenge to those who see the future in my past. >> young people have got to go out there and they've got to be progressive enough, not only to end police brutality but to create frameworks and demand to know. >> i see change with the patience of centuries. >> the hope is the revolution, you know? if you lose your hope, then there's nothing to do. >> time has not passed me by. it has protected me.

i ask of you the same. >> you've said in shows and out of shows and interviews and stuff that there is a tendency after years and years and years of this traveling to sort of take on a certain numbness after having seen so much everywhere. >> right. >> in this particular case, when you went to cuba and you're talking to people who are really -- it's a new world for them. >> right. >> it's not a new world for you. >> oh, this scene -- this scene with the journalist. look, it's not easy to be a dissident in cuba. it's not easy to be a journalist with any aspirations of -- towards speaking your mind in cuba. that immediately makes you a dissident, whether you identify yourself as one or not. so this is a very courageous

young woman, to have lived the life that she chose, to say things that she's saying to us on camera without fear, who is proud of her revolution and proud to be cuban, but who is telling us openly where she feels it has failed her and the cuban people. an extraordinary -- rather extraordinary thing. ♪ [ speaking spanish ] >> my mom is asking me if you would like to taste the rice. >> oh, it's fantastic. >> like a lot of cubans, yosemi rodriguez lives in the same working-class neighborhood where she was born. >> i live with my mom, my sister and my niece. of course i would like to have my own bedroom. but there are people who don't even have a house. >> you were a translator, is

that correct? and you are now a journalist? >> yeah, well, i've been writing for "havana times," and then i write also for the -- which is an independent website. >> she struggles to eke out a living in an industry where the state firmly controls all media. >> what subjects in particular are of interest to you? >> the racial issue. >> racial disparity. this is something that the revolution promised to address. >> their main mistake was to state that they had eradicated racism, that just like it could be eradicated just like that on the street, for instance, policemen, the first people they stop are black people. if you're black, you are a potential criminal. >> you have a very highly educated public here. one of the most literate nations on earth. >> we are highly educated, as you said, but we are behind concerning internet and all that stuff.

most of us have access to only the official media, the official newspaper. if internet comes, and i think the government is trying to delay it, if that comes many things will change. people who will have access to different points of view, and i don't think our government wants that. >> if everything goes well what will havana be like? what will this neighborhood be like in five years? >> you know, having a prosperous society doesn't guarantee that it is the same for everyone, you know. you see these people who have been able to use opportunities to open businesses and to open successful restaurants. those opportunities are there, but i cannot use them because i don't have money. i don't think it is possible to have a perfect society, but i think it is possible to try.

♪ >> okinawans may be easy going and laid back, but the island is also a relative hotbed of political activism and largely inspired or provoked by what okinawans see as high-handed treatment from a central government with different cultural and historical traditions, who don't consider their needs or priorities. and their hugely disproportionate shouldering of the u.s. military presence for the entire country. currently, there are close to 30 military installations on okinawa, and even though it's one of the smallest japanese prefectures in terms of livable area, they accommodate more than half of the foreign military presence. >> the military base issue, is this more important for older people or younger people? >> it's for the older people. >> it's for the older people. >> yes. so when you actually go to a place where they have like a protest going on, i would say over 80% of the people are all retired persons. >> why do you think that is?

>> because this is only my opinion, but japanese imperial army did a lot of brutal stuff on this island and war never ended for some people and the feelings that they got suppressed all of a sudden after they retired they kind of burst and they want to kind of -- >> act out. >> act out. >> it seems the anti-base sentiment also coincide with an anti-central government sentiment. >> yes. >> you do bear a hugely disproportionate burden of bases. isn't some activism called for here? >> i think the young generation should decide what to do for our future instead of the old people just fighting for their beliefs. to me i really feel a strong need to forgive and then forget and then move on. ever.

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♪ it's basically greco-roman wrestling. just they're greased up. as i understand it, you can't choke with two hands, only one. >> yes. >> you can just slip your hands -- >> right down into some greasy

ass crack. >> your wife's getting slammed up against the wall by a patrick swayze, she's not putting up much of a fight. >> i always said you should have a truck. >> yeah. i'll do it with you. >> do you have pizza experience? >> never did a pizza in my life. >> does he know this? >> no, he doesn't know. i'm going to tell him. >> take another taxi because i talk too much. >> so this has failed. hunting and fishing. please spare me from another tony tries to catch a fish but doesn't, hilarity ensues or tony goes hunting and doesn't succeed. i do. i present myself as freakin' dinty moore here? do i look like the brawny outdoorsman type? that ain't me. so there is always the risk that i'm going to come up empty. and often i do.

[ shot fired ] >> i need the finest in turkey-killing couture. i want to be ninja-like, and i want to look cool. >> well, you know, camouflage is the standard go out wear in south carolina. so. >> i'm bringing that look to new york. so pants, need those. >> right. >> you know, in south carolina our state bird is the mosquito. >> right. so i want to be covered head to toe. >> next thing, we have to get your face covered up. >> i'm going in a waffle house wearing this. this is totally me. >> we do have some turkey vests. >> a turkey vest, yes. i just -- i've got to have it. >> this is your last day on earth, mr. turkey. you will die now. prepare to meet your maker.

>> here's the thing about hunting. the likelihood of me successfully shooting even the stupidest animal on camera are about the same as adam sandler making a good movie. basically, a magical unicorn is going to land in front of me and shower me with candy and vicodins before i shoot a freakin' turkey on camera. [ gunshot ] that shot you heard was me shooting a producer in the calf and telling him to hobble over to the piggly wiggly for a frozen gobbler before he bleeds out. >> look, i'm not hunting in borneo. okay? i'm dispatching. i don't enjoy killing or torturing animals. but on the other hand, it's a pig. it's delicious. the whole village is going to eat it. you hand me a spear and you say honored guest, it's up to you. yeah, we'll do the job with a minimum of force and pain. i mean, who wouldn't?

well, you, i guess. >> we will need pork for gowai. and unfortunately, that means a pig must die. more awkwardly, custom and my personal history in this village demands once again that i do the job. i'd like to tell you that this is never easy, that i felt this time like i did the first time, sad, nauseated, complicit. but that would be a lie. [ pig squealing ] this time i plunged the spear in without hesitation or remorse.

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viewer e-mail questions. >> viewer e-mail -- i love viewer e-mail questions. >> you do? >> oh, yeah. come on, let me have it. sally from london, england says where did the passion for that wrestling karate thing you do come from? >> first of all, sally it's known as brazilian jiu-jitsu. and all i can tell you is this, sally. if you've never felt someone a third your age die in your arms, their will to live slowly drain out of them as you compress their carotid artery, you really haven't lived. ♪ >> i will never be young again. or any younger than i am today. i will never be faster or more flexible. i will never win competitions against 22-year-old wrestlers in my weight class. but none of that matters anymore. ♪

>> oh! >> now decapitate me. ♪ >> henry sellsman asks cats or dogs? i like cats. who doesn't like kittens? i like kittens. i even like big old nasty cats. i like cats in general. my personality i think is more -- though i'm loyal like a dog and affectionate, i think it clearly -- clearly my personality is more cat-like in the i don't give a [ muted ] department. stan of houston, texas asks are you and eric reper the new glimmer twins or martin and lewis? actually, who would be dean martin and who would be jerry lewis? eric would totally be jerry because i am clearly the debonair dean martin.

and that's why he is and always will be awesome. i'm just not funny like eric. eric, that guy is a laugh factory. don't be fooled by the french accent or the perfect hair. that is one funny dude. ♪ >> this car is sweet! >> yeah. >> it's totally '70s. hugh hefner probably had one of these, no? alain delon probably had one of these. i bet serge gains bourg. >> serge gainsbourg? no. >> serge gainsbourg probably banged jane birkin in the back of one of these. no, actually you need a little more room. >> you like -- if i make a green salad are you going to eat it? >> no. >> this one's better. that one. okay. we have a black tapenade with basil or the traditional one? >> let's go traditional. >> traditional. >> no time to mess around here. >> we're going to eat like pigs.

>> so what else is new? and wine. a very, very expensive wine. >> we'll be needing that. okay. that's our cheese selection. here's our pomme de terre which i will be artfully plating. baking like a meatloaf all of a sudden. you go from freezing to high heat. i'm telling you, this provence -- >> it's rough, huh? >> it's rough. >> this is not bad, huh? >> by the time i get half way through this bottle, you'd think this is as good as the finest bordeaux. and by the way, we are not suggesting, advising, recommending or in any way condoning the driving of a motor vehicle, especially a high-powered italian-french hybrid while drunk. because that would be wrong. >> no, we'll take a nap before. >> right. until our blood alcohol level is in alignment with all local regulations and laws. this is not like my show at all, actually. i'm going to get shit for this.

i'm telling you. you're not keeping it real anymore, man. it looks like a wine label. as a buddhist, does this worry you? >> i'm sorry? >> as a buddhist does this worry you, considering how well this life has turned out for you? >> no. it's good karma from my previous life. >> isn't that worrying to you? the next life cannot possibly be better than this. it's probably going to suck. i mean, the best case scenario, you know, in our next life maybe if you get to sit in a sub shop in asbury park, new jersey, that would be the greatest day of your life. that would be the best case scenario -- >> the most challenging -- >> most likely you end up, you know, a mime. a diseased itinerant mime wandering the streets scrounging for money. or worse. >> you're a desperate case. >> i'm just saying how much better can it be than this? enjoy every minute of this now, eric and pray, pray, pray that this is it, that at the end of the day they roll you into a hole in the ground and you're diet for worms because if you're right and there is a next life we are [ muted ], my friend.

>> the ultimate idea is to be enlightened, to come back and help as many people as you can. so all phenomenons of life and what you perceive as reality is ultimately one. let's leave it at that. >> serenity now. cheers.

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♪ you're done. >> all right. >> you're done. wait, wait. i've got one more thing. sit down. just one word association. just for the upcoming season. >> upcoming season. >> can we just do a word association? >> word association. >> i'll throw out the -- >> i love word association. hot, cold. >> chicago. >> chicago, come on. it ain't no second city. that is -- it's -- it's every other city you go to outside of new york you tell them you're from new york and they have to -- they seem to feel compelled to compare themselves in some way either favorably or unfavorably with new york. chicago feels no such need.

it's really -- it might be the capital of america's, like, no bullshit zone. it's chicago. how can you not make a good show in chicago? it's a lot of pressure, but we tried. >> okay. this is not word association. >> okay. well, good. ♪ >> chicago. it's the kind of city that sinatra should have sung songs about, actually. i'm pretty sure he did sing songs about chicago. ♪ >> hey, chicago! >> in my view, just about everything about chicago is awesome. they have great art museums. they've got great music. they've got fantastic high-end

restaurants, beautiful parks, incredible architecture. we're doing none of those things on this show, by the way. >> there's no delicate way to eat this. >> no. >> she was a segway tour guide. i'm serious. >> let's go, cubbies. >> this is the food that speaks to my soul. >> their pizza, however -- >> this is a problem. ♪ >> merry christmas. >> merry christmas. >> you know, in the best of circumstances how could you do a philippines show that's going to make anybody happy? i mean, there's, like 7,000 islands. and due to typhoon-related problems this time out we were confined to one of them. ♪

but is it even a manila show? i don't know. ♪ i think we got a little slice of the filipino character. which maybe that's what this show is all about. >> merry christmas, everybody! >> here in georgia they drink something called chacha. and they like you to drink a lot of it. it sounds innocuous enough. it's not. it hurts. it hurts a lot. >> you're becoming a georgian. be careful. >> chances are you don't know a lot about this country. i don't like the word charming, but i am utterly charmed by this place.

♪ >> everybody here's really nice. the architecture's beautiful. the food is extraordinarily delicious and complex. you should come here. ♪ >> nashville, land of enchantment. >> we are not doing nashville. >> we're not doing that now? >> no. that's not until next time. >> excellent. i hate travel minutes. it's like -- i'm complicit because near the end i'm so exhausted, i've had it, like maybe i'm aware of the fact that we haven't done a travel minute. like i'm not saying that i would be but maybe possibly i wouldn't mention it if nobody else brings it up, like it wouldn't really kind of -- but wait a minute, guys, before you take off the mike, how about the travel

minute? we didn't do that yet, guys. let's go find another location, put me up against a tree and ask me what i thought about the experience of the last week. and really i just want to go home and have the first solid shit in a week. ♪