>> anthony: somebody asks you where you're from and you answer, "i'm from chicago," nobody's going to give you a patronizing response like, "oh, chicago's charming." >> pedestrian: hey, chicago! >> anthony: more likely it'll be "wow, chicago" or "oh, chicago." they'll be impressed. chicago's a town, a city that doesn't ever have to measure itself against any other city. other places have to measure themselves against it. it's big, it's outgoing, it's tough, it's opinionated, and everybody's got a story. ♪ i took a walk through this

beautiful world ♪ ♪ felt the cool rain on my shoulder ♪ ♪ found something good in this beautiful world ♪ ♪ i felt the rain getting colder ♪ ♪ sha, la, la, la, la, la, ♪ sha, la, la, la, la, la, ♪ sha, la, la, la, la, la, ♪ sha, la, la, la, la ♪ >> woman: i've been coming to the ale house forever. >> woman: what can't the ale house tell you about chicago? >> man: yes, my father did come here. i do a lot of cross word puzzles. >> anthony: as late afternoon gives way to evening in chicago's old town, it's time to drink. though to be fair, almost

anytime is time for a drink at the old town ale house. >> woman: another favorite of mine, is anita. >> man: the difficult ones are the people who -- >> anthony: the chorus assembles, to give their opinions on matters of the day subjects of great import to this city on the lake, this city of broad shoulders, this true metropolis. >> bruce: but there's no shortage of characters in here. you know, i've lost a couple of really great ones, john fox the comic, died a few years ago. we just lost ruben four toes, this 400-pound mexican guy. we just called him ruben and then when he got his big toe cut off then he became ruben nine-toes. then when he had his other big toe cut off he became ruben eight toes. and then when he had his leg cut off changed it down to ruben four toes. he blames all his problems on the fact his mother didn't give him any titty milk. i mean these guys, there's nobody coming to the door to

replace them. >> anthony: the old town ale house opened in 1958 and has been serving beer and other intoxicating beverages ever since. unless you're on the no shot list, in which case your drinking options have been for the good of the community -- limited. there's a no shot list? >> bruce: there is, the only guy who ever got off it is down there down now. it was just because he was a pure and yeah, we have a fairly extensive no shot list. >> anthony: extensive, meaning you can drink hear but no shots for you. >> bruce: no shots. >> anthony: just that will lead to no good? >> bruce: history has shown us that these people should not drink shots -- well, now of course what they do is they go to another bar and drink shots and they come over and then we get the remnants of -- >> anthony: bruce cameron elliott and his ex-wife are the proprietors of the old town ale house. bruce likes to brag that he's never had an honest job, but he's a writer, legendary blogger and artist. so who comes here, i mean generally, who are your regulars?

>> bruce: i think the most interesting thing about this bar on an average night if you look down this bar at 10:00 or 11:00, i would say the average age is certainly over 40 which is very unusual. >> anthony: right. >> bruce: which is very unusual. >> anthony: it's really, what's missing in my life. i need an old man bar. but, i mean, is there a common thread to, the, your regulars? >> bruce: the common thread is uh, of our hardcore regulars? >> anthony: yeah. >> bruce: they're basically alcoholics. >> anthony: i mean, i was dancing around that. >> bruce: we don't dance here. [ laughter ] there's no dancing. the late john fox who was my all-time favorite funny man. he came up with a ale house hand shake. the secret ale house hand shake was like in the morning which, was that. >> anthony: what do you have to do to get barred here? >> bruce: you know probably punch somebody more than once. [ laughter ] >> anthony: more than once? ♪ ♪ ♪ the walls of the bar are covered with his portraits of ale house regulars, which he mostly paints

in the basement next to the beer cooler. more notorious are his paintings of well-known political figures who have for one reason or another raised bruce's ire. they're inevitably depicted in an unflattering let's say non-family friendly light. >> bruce: putin has been behaving very poorly let me put it that way, i mean but he also intrigues me. plus, i also have the extra satisfaction knowing he would not like what i'm going to do. and that's you know gives you a lot of pleasure. >> anthony: there is no shortage of opinions at the ale house bar. and bruce's opinions and the scope of his work extends far beyond chicago's borders. ♪ >> bruce: i'm working on my

latest painting, it's putin. >> anthony: say no more, i would like to see. >> bruce: and i would like some advice because i was thinking of the classic catherine the great hoists, stallions, but then -- >> anthony: there's ponies involved? i love ponies. >> bruce: well, let me show you what i've come up with because simply because of the size constraints. this is, uh, of course, that's our beer cooler and everything. >> anthony: this is where the magic happens. >> bruce: well, this is where, yeah, this is where sarah palin was painted. >> anthony: whoa! >> bruce: and um, originally i was thinking and i'd be very interested in your input. originally what i thought was: the catherine the great, the horses, and he in the receptive position. but then on the other hand, when i put him in a tutu, i thought, i think i really i uncovered the true putin. ballets very important in russia -- >> anthony: right.

>> bruce: and if i painted him naked, that would almost be macho. >> anthony: yeah, you don't need the presumably tiny genitals. >> bruce: well, i don't think there's any doubt about that. >> anthony: look, i mean he's got his shirt off, so already he's universally identifiable because he really likes to take his shirt off. >> bruce: no, he does and i took his shirt off. >> anthony: i think this is an iconic image as is. >> bruce: i really do. >> anthony: i think it says it all. >> bruce: i was, i'm glad you told me that because i can go full steam ahead now. i'm thinking pastels. i've gotten pretty good with pastels. but this might be one -- >> anthony: all fans, the people who follow your blog, know so much about you know, i know who fixes your walk in refrigerator. i know who fixes the bathroom, i know who comes in and cleans the floors. i know the entire morning routine between fancy pants and -- >> bruce: street jimmy. >> anthony: jimmy -- i know so much about all these

people and just little, the day to day workings. but do you think there's something to be said like, you know, the trajectory of your clientele is not -- >> bruce: no it's going, it's not ascending. >> anthony: it's not ascending. >> bruce: it's not an ascendance, yes. and i've lost a couple really. i mean, we really lost some beauties. >> anthony: i mean it's the perils of being a saloon keeper, you -- >> bruce: here's, here's my take on that, bar people do not live as long as vegan joggers. however -- however, they have more fun. ♪ ♪ >> anthony: in this city of factions, of neighborhoods, black, white, north side, south, cubs or white sox, everybody at one point or another, seems to agree on this place. valois in hyde park. >> bruce: got to grab your tray, that's part of the rule here.

♪ >> anthony: um, i think meatloaf and macaroni and cheese, please. >> bruce: i'll have the white fish, the mashed potatoes, and corn. >> anthony: i've very happy about this. two of my guilty pleasures on one plastic tray. >> bruce: wow, they sure gave us a lot of fish. >> anthony: so what, where am i, what is this neighborhood? >> bruce: this is hyde park, this is heart and soul of hyde park. >> anthony: so if you're um, running for office why would you use this place as your staging area? what's the social importance of it? >> bruce: you will see every politician, black and white, running for city office will come through here at some point. >> anthony: why? >> bruce: it's just kind of a hangout. you'd see herald washington here a lot. i mean, barack, um, i used to see barack here all the time,

mostly for breakfast. ♪ ♪ >> anthony: the machine that is chicago politics goes straight back to emperor richard daily, the father, then the son, with a diverse cast of scoundrels in between. ♪ ♪ how are things in chicago on the arc of the trajectory? >> bruce: the problem was that we had this, the daily dynasty, we had the old man and when we had the kid, the not so bright kid, replaced him and he threw a party for his friends for over 20 years and when it came time to pay the bill he snuck out the back door of the, uh, of city hall. so it's a mess right now financially. the one thing about chicago is, you cannot get away with being a fake or a phony. i mean, maybe somewhere out in one of the suburbs. but people see through it right away and that's kind of chicago. >> anthony: what other

characteristics of a true chicagoan would be stereotypically true? >> bruce: i think you've got to make at least a little effort to be -- to not be a pussy. i think you've got to be a little tough, i don't think you can just -- >> anthony: can't be a pussy or at least you're making an effort. >> bruce: make a little effort, just not roll over and -- >> anthony: right. ♪

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mitt, who's matt in the blog. and maybe three or four other people at the end of the bar and i just remember like falling on the floor. i heard somebody yell, "she's not breathing," and they called an ambulance. and that's kind of all that i remember. and when i came back a few days later i walked in the door, everybody was like "yay, you're better!" and then a couple of the regulars were like that guy, that guy said that thing. and i was like what did he say? and he said when you were on the floor foaming at the mouth he said -- they got really quiet and he said, "i'll have what she's having." so yeah, so that was fun. ♪ i found out later what was really interesting about it is right away -- >> dale: the american cheese burger, it's the sort of feeling you get when you eat it you remember you're sitting with a friend and enjoying a memory that takes you back to long ago when you were young, and as we

follow paul backstage watching him slowly sip his coffee. >> paul: hey, what's going on dale? >> dale: you remember that comedy isn't just about laughs it's also about coffee, and clothes and being yourself. >> paul: do you guys want to run this scene? >> comedian: which one? >> paul: transcendence. >> dale: and after all if we can't laugh at ourselves, who can we laugh at? >> paul: i got to be honest, he usually does it way better. >> dale: oh come on! >> anthony: how is it that chicago has become sort of the font of comedy? you know it's, it's a gusher. >> paul: i think it all started with second city and then people came here to study. i say 90% of the people who are doing comedy right now came to chicago to study. >> anthony: paul jurewicz, a young man at the beginning of what will presumably be a glorious career. >> paul: first he pushed me in the pool and he called me ketchup dick, i tried to be spontaneous one time and this is what i get. i feel like no one respects me anymore. >> anthony: second city opened

in chicago's old town in 1959, and almost from the beginning it established a probably unhealthy symbiotic relationship with the ale house. you know their names -- john belushi, gilda radner, amy poehler, bill murray, chris farley. if you're funny in america, chances are, you spent some formative years here, getting the shit hammered out of you, learning, one hopes, in the parlance of the trade -- to kill. >> paul: i tuck my undershirt into the underwear. >> woman: tell them how many times you do it a show. >> paul: per a show, probably seven times. i got to be a cannon ball, you know, not like a bowl of jell-o out there. >> anthony: you know where, where are second city people coming from, all over? >> paul: all over. >> anthony: right. >> paul: all walks of life too. i mean, it is uh, you know lawyers, teachers, with servers, it's all classes. >> anthony: well, service -- that's a rich tradition.

i mean, one per -- any time you find anyone in the entertainment business one presumes restaurant experience. >> paul: i used to be a server, used to be a cook. i was a sushi chef for a while. i used to be a segway tour guide. >> anthony: you were a segway tour guide? >> paul: yes. >> anthony: wow, you better have a sense of humor. paul and i discuss the perilous nature of a life in comedy, over some drinks and food at longman & eagle. where though the flannels and neck beards are abundant the food is excellent. ♪ beef tartare, i like that. and who does not love roasted bone marrow? tête de cochon with blue cheese and celery relish. the good lord wants you to eat this, really, he speaks to me all the time. confit of beef tripe, and since i'm all about vegetables slow roasted cauliflower with caramelized onions, and lentils. >> anthony: so does second city travel, they have a road company? >> paul: there are touring

companies, three touring companies. they're on cruise ships as well so i did ten months on a cruise ship. >> anthony: oh! >> paul: which is ten months of looking at the water and wondering you know at this trajectory would the boat pull me under? if i've had this much to drink, how long before the boat is out of my sightline? >> anthony: so that's like a prison ship, i mean. >> paul: yes. >> anthony: because you, you, you can't say, "-- this." >> paul: it's real fun for the first two months. it's a lot of fun hanging out with the crews. you know, there's a lot of, you know, venereal diseases going around. >> anthony: right. >> paul: and a lot of partying, there's a bar every two feet. and then after you hit the two months you're like, "i want to go home. mom, please help me." >> anthony: man talk about you know battle field conditions to hone your craft, man, i respect it, that is, is that the idea behind it we're going to send you out when you get back from the gulag, you will be stronger for it. >> paul: absolutely. it's your first time getting paid as a performer, and it's also the largest amount of people i've performed for was on a cruise ship.

it's 950 people you're performing to, you know, four nights a week. >> anthony: right. ♪ ♪ ♪ >> bearded man: places, act 1. >> woman: how are things? >> guy: ah, good. should i put the game on? the patriots are playing the red skins. >> paul: do we know where the dry cleaning is? there's no job that you can liken to this job. >> woman: what are you trying to say, mike, we're some sort of time travelers? >> man: my hemp business is doing really well. >> paul: i think it's all i only have like four lines, right? >> anthony: is it a kind of supportive? i mean, comedians are not famous for -- >> paul: stand ups, specifically, is more cut throat. >> guy: why don't we all just calm down here, all right? >> guy: i thought that would a pop or at least a reaction. >> woman: it's too long. >> paul: does anybody know where my socks are? in the improv community i think it's a lot more supportive because it's a group sport. >> anthony: community, did you say community? >> paul: yes. got your back. >> guy: got your back. >> group: got your back. >> anthony: so what if someone sucks? >> paul: improvise.

>> anthony: what if they're just -- they suck? >> paul: your job as an improviser is to make that person look amazing. that's how you know if you're a good improviser. this is the path of least resistance for me. it was something i fell into that i loved, that i just found out that i was relatively good at and through a series of mishaps i found myself for this position. like you'd ask me six years ago if i would be on the main stage at second city, there's no way. i would have laughed at you. so if this is where it ends for me i would be happy. ♪ ♪ ♪ >> anthony: maybe the first thing you think of when you think about chicago is not ass burning szechuan food, but maybe, maybe it should be. >> stephanie: what i think a lot

of people come they think that chicago is like on the magnificent mile and you know they're like, "should we go down to navy pier?" i'm like, "no." >> anthony: right. >> stephanie: so it's nice to go out to the neighborhoods and there's so many ethnicities everywhere so going places like that is really awesome. >> anthony: one of my favorite chicagoans, chef, restaurateur stephanie izard from girl and the goat and her colleague peter wong enlighten me. look, i knew chicago was a city of very diverse neighborhoods, everybody says so but this i didn't know about, now i do. so where are we and why -- why are we here? i have to say i'm really glad we're here. but why? >> stephanie: we're at szechuan cuisine. so after going to china we were just talking about, that chengdu is my favorite place, but peter's actually never been to chengdu and so coming back it was like, "let's go to chinatown and try to find places to find those things we ate for breakfast every day." ♪

♪ ♪ >> anthony: pork dumplings in chili oil, start the fire. oh man, they're slippery. >> stephanie: you got it. >> anthony: yeah. >> peter: you know why the chopstick is thin, it's not thick and fat you can just do this. >> stephanie: i thought you're not supposed to do that? peter, you're suppose to help me know what's faux pas. >> anthony: yeah, so happy. one of my favorite dishes in the world, anywhere, mapo doufu. yes, a tofu dish, stippled heavily with pork and a burny numbing nine and a half week style exercise in sadomasochism that will start you thinking some deeply disturbing thoughts. do you know mapo doufu, is it because it looks like spotted grandmother or did spotted pot marked grandmother create the dish. >> peter: both. >> anthony: both. >> peter: yes. >> anthony: all right. >> stephanie: my mouth's a little on fire right now, i think the rice came at the right time. >> peter: yes.

sounds like we are suffering but actually it's delicious. yeah, anthony, try some of this, my favorite. >> anthony: the specialty of the house fish hot pot. >> stephanie: all right, here goes. i scooped out some innards. >> peter: you're going for the best piece huh? >> anthony: it burns so good. i can pretty much eat this every day. i have a blog called "daddy doing work", it's funny that i've been in the news for being a dad. windows 10 is great because i need to keep organized. school, grocery shopping. my face can unlock this computer. that's crazy. macbooks are not able to do that. "hey cortana, remind me we have a play date tomorrow at noon" i need that in my world. anything that makes my life easier, i'm using. and windows is doing that. it's everything you've ialways wanted.

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♪ ♪ >> it would have to be 1963. >> bill: the summation was that uh i moved to move him away from another customer, and he backed up and clenched his fist, and boy when somebody clenches their fists you know they're really capable of doing something. so i got in the first shot and then somebody grabbed me by my arms and held my arms and he got the second shot off. and he re-deviated my septum, which was a good thing, but you know he was bleeding and i was bleeding, and you know, it was

camaraderie. we all -- we hugged and kissed afterwards, and they were, "oh i'm sorry, i'm sorry i did that earlier." he's dead now i don't want to speak poorly of the dead. ♪ ♪ >> lupe: we always lived in the hood, you would hear gunshots in the distance, you would get to know about gangs, you'll see the graffiti. the people who you were growing up with, playing with, wouldn't be there anymore. it's like, "oh, what happened to such and such?" "oh, he's dead. he was in a gang. he got killed in a drive by," or "he got shot in the south central." >> anthony: hip-hop artist extraordinaire, lupe fiasco grew up on the south and west sides of chicago, but inside his home

was always an island of sanity, supportive, creative environment. what was different about your family? >> lupe: my mother and my father were very intelligent, and politically oriented, and active so, you know, i got book smart and street smart, you know. >> anthony: floyd webb is an old family friend. this is lupe's mom shirley as becomes quickly apparent, she is along with being an extraordinarily good cook and extraordinary and determined human being. man, this is so outrageously, delicious, wow. the whole time we're eating by the way people moving in and out of shirley's small apartment. the place, clearly a hub for a tightly knit community of friends and family. so what age were you when you came to chicago? >> shirley: i was 13. the worst thing that my family could ever done was left the

south, was left mississippi, we should have stayed. >> anthony: but this was the land of opportunity here and detroit, great cities in the north. >> shirley: it was, then, we were never hungry down in mississippi, we got here depend on welfare whatever and they became alcoholics, abusive to the children and wives and the children came out in the streets just everybody lost control and now it's -- >> anthony: what was chicago like when you arrived? >> shirley: uh, it wasn't as violent. uh, you know, the neighborhoods were communities no vacant lots or families all over, kids in the street. you could go outside and play and not worry about your children and sharp in the late '70s early '80s it started to change and become more violent. >> news anchor 1: on july 4th, two young men gunned down. >> news anchor 2: the more than 50% surge in homicides. >> news anchor 3: people shot to death and at least 60 others wounded. >> anthony: however much you might love chicago, want to

celebrate its general awesomeness, its character, its architecture, its food. there's no getting away from the ugly fact that chicago's south side is also currently the murder capital of america. why do you think people are killing each other in such large numbers in chicago and not in new york? >> webb: let's be clear, it's only a few spots, it isn't the whole city. it's not the whole city. >> lupe: to be honest, chi-raq, is englewood. >> anthony: it's a pretty staggering body count. >> lupe: the sad part is it's been like this, right and the only reason the story now is white people looking at it. oh, that's terrible, that's been like this for 30 years. how come it wasn't terrible 30 years ago when you probably could have actually did something about it? >> anthony: does a hip-hop artist, have any obligation really to, to speak about anything positive or even smarter than cars, girls or where's my money? >> lupe: um, i guess it depends

on where you come from, and do you feel the obligation to where you came from. a lot of people in the hood won't take me serious. they won't take chuck d serious, because at least you take somebody who's rapping about crack, rapping about dope, that is actual thing that they can go get and sell and make money that day if they wanted to. you can't preach to them black panther party or, or, you know, marcus garvey or this because they can't go out and get it and actually sell it and monetize it and make some money off it. >> right. ♪ >> anthony: despite an appalling murder rate, questionable leadership, chicagoans aren't going anywhere any time soon. >> shirley: the southern people we brought our spirit here, so chicago have like a warm spirit and you know loving spirit. >> lupe: it's a beautiful place, it's a genuinely beautiful place where you have to redefine what beauty is to you. when you go to different neighborhoods, and it's really bad. but even in that there's still a beauty in the people and just

from a cultural front, you know, we got everything here, you know? we got -- you want capoeira, we got capoeira. we got that. you want house music we got that too, you want, you want just straight finance and you want just be a stock market baron we got that too, you know, you want some of the best food that you'll ever find, we've got that too. we're a crosswoods. we picked up a lot of -- a lot of dna in things from all different places on all fronts. ♪ ♪ what super poligrip does for me is it keeps the food out. before those little pieces would get in between my dentures and my gum and it was uncomfortable. just a few dabs is clinically proven to seal out more food particles. super poligrip is part of my life now.

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>> bruce: i've always my whole life had a lot of difficulty with these fire plug type guys, and he started looking like he was going to start punching street jimmy who is a guy who hangs around on the street, and comes in here and i said something to him. he came, he made a move, so i cut him a real nice left knocked him down. and i never saw a guy make this move before but he just kind of

went on his stomach and like squished over hooked my leg, got on top of me and started whacking me and hawkeye our doorman just sat there watching me being pummeled. and street jimmy came over grabbed his arm, i got off -- ♪ ♪ >> steve: making a living hasn't really been what's it about ever in chicago, keeping the ball in the air is what it's about. just making sure things keep going, remain viable and sustainable. nobody's too concerned about making a killing or becoming a star, everybody just wants to keep doing it. >> anthony: is that a uniquely chicago attitude? >> steve: i flatter myself by thinking that people in chicago care more about what they're doing than what they're getting paid to do it. >> anthony: one of the things people have always loved about chicago of course is the music, and if one guy has defined rock and roll and punk sounds for the last three decades, well this

guy, steve albini, would have to be a powerful candidate. member of the legendary chicago punk band big black and one of the most important producers of underground rock. albini produced some of the most influential music of the last 25 years -- the pixies, slint, nirvana, pj harvey, to name a few. he takes me to one of his favorite chicago spots ricobene to sample the particularly unholy delights of the breaded fried steak sandwich. holy this thing is -- >> steve: this is a half a sandwich, bear in mind. >> anthony: that's like four pounds. >> steve: yeah. >> anthony: wow. we're going to need a boat load of napkins. there's no delicate way to eat this, you just hoist and go. >> steve: the time out of the fryer is also critical. these are still crispy on the outside. this is precisely the way this sandwich was meant to be eaten. >> anthony: yeah. that is a thing of beauty. and tasty. >> steve: mm-hmm. >> anthony: so, you have

remarkably unusual for the music industry on remarkably lenient views on, uh, music sharing. your pricing structure as a producer is you know somewhat against the grain of the usual business model. and you were not living in la or new york living on a mountaintop, uh, peeing on the, uh, you know peeing downwards from a great height. what are you, some kind of a communist? what's the problem? >> steve: well, i have a healthy suspicion of capitalism as a method. i feel like, you know, left unchecked, capitalism is kind of a cultural sociopathy like for a business to be successful in capitalist terms, it has to do the best possible job of exploiting everyone that it's -- that it does interaction with. the endgame of capitalism is that everything is crappier and crappier and people are more and more exploited, and i have a healthy suspicion of that.

so i feel like the social model that i'm comfortable with, it suits my business practices, which is that we're all in the same game. we're all trying to do the same thing, we just want to make sure that things get better for everybody. >> anthony: is that a chicago attitude, you think? >> steve: hmm, well, in my circles it is. yeah, in the punk rock scene and the people who are influenced by the punk rock scene, that's a very common notion is that you're not trying to extract the maximum, you're trying to make sure that everything goes -- everything carries on. >> anthony: is there less douchery in chicago? >> steve: you can find jag-offs, that's a uniquely chicago word, by the way. >> anthony: jag-off, oh i love that. it's been so long since i've heard it. >> steve: oh, if you look for 'em, you can find jag-offs of all type in chicago. but the people who are, you know -- >> anthony: thank you so much. >> steve: productive and content and part of an enterprise that is, you know, righteous, for lack of a better term. >> anthony: right. >> steve: they tend to not just

give lip service to the notion of egalitarianism or fairness, but they tend to embody it. >> anthony: what about the musicians? i mean, how much money does, um, a guitar hero deserve to make? >> steve: well, all of it, obviously, because that's what people are listening to. people are listening to somebody's creative expression. ♪ ♪ ♪ pet moments are beautiful, unless you have allergies. flonase is the first and only nasal spray approved to relieve both itchy, watery eyes and congestion.

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>> patrick: around here nicknames have a sick habit of sticking to you like glue, and you just you don't just dodge them, you just live with it. when i used to bartend the morning shift here, him and this other guy used to come in um a bit crazy before it was even like 8:30 in the morning. and this one poor guy was here, and they were like on both sides of him just going nuts, and i'm like, you know, "that's it." you know, "you guys got to go."

but uh he says, "you know man, you're a real buzzkill." and, uh, it stuck to me ever since. i mean, it's carved in stone, pretty much. ♪ ♪ ♪ >> anthony: chicago is famously a sports town. the bulls, the bears, the cubs, the white sox. to you and me, those are just names, but to many chicagoans, a cause, a defining lifestyle choice. the rivalry between cubs and white sox fans, for instance, is particularly vicious. >> bruce: difference between a cubs fan and a sox fan is a cub fan goes to the park, they enjoy themselves, they have fun. the team wins, that's okay, if they lose, it's no big deal. sox fans will turn on their team on a dime if they don't -- if they're not good, if they don't play well.

>> patrick: that is true. >> bruce: but a perfect day for a sox fan is the sox to win, cubs to lose, and then the cubs' plane crashes. >> anthony: so to what do you attribute this, uh, deep, deep, bordering on murderous hatred? >> patrick: the hatred is basically from the south side. >> bruce: of course it is. >> patrick: i mean, they hate us like you have no idea. we don't have that vicious intent to them. >> anthony: why? why the viciousness and hatred? >> bruce: all right. to be around cub fans is to hate them. >> cub fans: let's go, cubbies! cubs all the way! woo! yeah, baby! ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> patrick: i just, i can never bring myself to understand their hatred of us. >> cub fan: yeah, cubbies! woo! number one! go, cubs, go! yeah! >> anthony: so they're --

they're cursed. their historic destiny is to be losers. >> bruce: yes. and like they say, any team can have a bad century. the cubs are working on having two bad centuries. >> anthony: right. topo gigio is a massive italian-american joint in the old town that serves up much better than you think old school stuff like scallops and pesto cream sauce for bruce here and squid ink pasta with shrimp for buzzkill. my veal saltimbocca is most excellent, and the long festering dispute across from me only makes my food taste better. >> anthony: is bruce's attitude atypical or typical? >> patrick: uh it's uh extremely -- >> anthony: or is he a relative moderate? >> patrick: it's extremely typical. >> anthony: i mean, he is sitting at the same table with a cubs fan. >> patrick: well, yes. >> bruce: no, no, i drink with cub fans, i've even had sex with cub fans, i mean you know, i'm -- >> patrick: well, truth be told, uh the last time the sox won it in '05 -- >> bruce: not that long ago, really. not that long ago.

>> patrick: for christ's sakes, you won one! >> bruce: it was this century! >> patrick: i've been on this planet -- >> bruce: how about this century we've already won one? >> patrick: you know, i've been on this planet for 55 years, you've won one. you know what, you guys are worse than notre dame fans. you're worse than notre dame fans. >> bruce: i wouldn't mind winning every 25 years. >> patrick: you cling onto that. >> anthony: i mean look, uh, chicago is a great city. >> bruce: yes, it is. >> anthony: it deserves to win, right? i mean -- >> bruce: the thing is about chicago sports fans, we got to see the greatest basketball player that ever lived. we were witnessing in our prime, in our prime we got to see this. >> anthony: right. >> bruce: so now we, we're now holding things up to a higher standard of excellence. >> anthony: right. >> bruce: now here's where the cubs fans and sox fans join forces, to watch the bear game. >> anthony: right. >> patrick: that's something we can all agree on. >> anthony: you both hate the bears? >> bruce: no, no, we love them, but we hate them. >> patrick: we love the bears, but we just want virginia to just cash in their chips and just go away. >> anthony: so let's say, let's say the planets all -- the stars align perfectly for chicago in your view.

what does the sports picture look like? who wins, who loses? what happens? >> bruce: well first of all, there would have to be some funerals. >> anthony: there'd have to be funerals. >> bruce: several. >> anthony: who would have to die? >> bruce: i would say the owner of the bears and then -- >> anthony: do you agree with this? >> patrick: yeah, if uh -- >> anthony: more or less. >> patrick: we hate owners. >> bruce: yeah, we all are united in the hatred of the owners. >> anthony: well, i wish you both luck. ♪ ♪ more "sit" per roll. bounty is two times more absorbent. so one roll of bounty can last longer than those bargain brands. so you get more "life" per roll. bounty. the long-lasting quicker picker upper. dad, yoh no, i'll take you up to me off rthe front of the school. that's where your friends are. seriously, it's, it's really fine. you don't want to be seen with your dad? no, it's..no.. this about a boy? dad! stop, please. oh, there's tracy. what! [ horn honking ] [ forward collision warning ] [ car braking ]

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♪ ♪ ♪ >> bruce: and i had a little to do in the morning, so i'd just get up, and roger, he was a very fat guy, always been a fat guy, until of course he became ill. but he was indefatigable walker. he loved to walk. the reason we ended up here was because in the drinking society that we were involved in at the

time never had many walkers, but roger was a walker and i was a walker. >> anthony: legendary film critic roger ebert was a man of mythic proportions in chicago. a close friend of bruce, half of the siskel and ebert duo, and a regular at the old town ale house, roger passed away in 2013 after a long battle with cancer. i've been sort of conducting an informal poll over the course of the week asking people who chicago should honor, if you had to put up a statue you know, of sort of an iconic chicagoan who everybody agrees is a good person and a very popular answer, roger ebert. >> bruce: i would say that i'm a little prejudice but definitely roger ebert deserves all the accolades he's been getting, justifiably so. roger's the guy that got me to write the blog, and he's the guy that gave me the tips. he was an amazing guy and i think of course had he not

become ill, and really handled his illness in a way that i can't even conceive of myself handling, um i think that that really kind of set him apart from kind of the other iconic chicago people. >> anthony: the guy, and correct me if i'm wrong, this was an enthusiast, i mean this was a guy who actually liked going to the movies. >> bruce: now this is not always the case with critics. they don't necessarily love the people or the subject matter they're reviewing. roger loved movies, and he loved actors. if you went over to his house, he would want to watch movies. >> anthony: siskel and ebert. classic, you know, it's like that is an iconic relationship. they didn't seem to like each other. >> bruce: they hated each other. >> anthony: they hated each other? >> bruce: yes, i mean, they understood what they had. but a lot of people think siskel was the alpha. he was not. roger had two things over siskel. he was a much better writer, and

he was much better read. >> anthony: so uh roger lived principally in chicago? >> bruce: oh yes. and he had, believe me, he had plenty of opportunities to leave. i mean, he was offered some serious dough to go to new york and go to la. >> anthony: why didn't he go? >> bruce: in chicago, favors are worth more than money and loyalty. in chicago, this is very important. roger is one of the most loyal people. he was loyal to his friends, to his family. and i just, i don't have any problem understanding why he decided to stay here. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

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