-- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ ♪ ♪ i need a french coach. ♪ i took a walk through this beautiful world ♪

♪ felt the cool rain on my shoulder ♪ ♪ found something good in this beautiful world ♪ ♪ i felt the rain getting colder ♪ ♪ sha la la la la ♪ sha la la la la la ♪ sha la la la la ♪ sha la la la la la la ♪ if you've been to france, chances are you haven't been here. france's second largest city, the oldest city in france. it sits right by the mediterranean. the food is famously good. yet, it's a victim of bad reputation, bad history. marseille. as it turns out, exactly the kind of place i like.

but this is a buddy picture, isn't it? eric ripert is the chef of the three-star la bernardin in new york. i think that means he's some kind of knight or something. and my friend. this causes him some problems. he, i like to remind him, has a reputation to protect. i do not. welcome to marseille. >> you've never been here? >> never. >> how is this even possible? you grew up how far from here? >> like, 50 miles. 100 miles. >> you grew up 100 miles from here. what prevented you from coming to this clearly beautiful city? because it's clearly beautiful. >> it's a fantastic city. it's beautiful. i agree with you. but it has the reputation of being a dangerous city. >> you live in new york. ♪ >> i should point out that every single frenchman, when i said i'm shooting in france, they say, "oh, really, where?" i say, "marseille."

their face drops immediately, like, "oh." >> why's that? because they think it's ugly? >> you know what they say? they say this is not france. >> with a "z" like that? >> this is not france. ♪ >> well, i'm looking forward to the week. >> yeah. >> this is a low-impact show. >> what is a low-impact show? >> it means i'm not, you know, paddling upriver. it means i get a flush toilet. eating well constantly. >> you like luxury. >> i do. look, i do. i like a fluffy hotel towel. i like a bidet. look, i like warm jets of water squirting up my ass. i mean, who doesn't? ♪ i could retire here. >> i could retire here, too. >> you see, that's sort of the measure of a place for me is,

like, if you start thinking thoughts like that. like, that must be nice. i could live here. just me and my watercolors, you know? puttering. when you retire, are you going to putter? >> what's putter? >> dicking around. basically you wake up and maybe you paint a little. >> i can't paint. >> you know. well, okay. do you -- knitting. little -- make a sweater. >> what do you think -- who am i here? ♪ ♪ i would like to go fishing. you know, i never catch anything in my life. >> do you actually fish? do you know how to fish? do you ever fish? >> i don't know to fish. >> i'll show you how. all you need is a car battery and a couple of cables. trust me, you get all the fish you want. >> that's -- >> they come right up. there's other ways. how do you say dynamite in french? >> dynamite. >> dynamite. see, i do speak french.

♪ you can tell. you know it's coming, right? you can sense it. oh, no. another fishing scene. this is our vessel here on the right. eric is one of only a handful of old-style fishermen who work the sea the old-fashioned way. >> do you see yourself fishing? >> no. >> it's stressful to me. >> right. i always think i'm going to catch my testicles or ear with the hook. you know, i have a fear of fishhooks. >> catching dentelle. >> yeah, he said it's the best fish of the mediterranean. i have no idea what he's talking about. >> hopefully we'll see. >> hopefully we'll taste it. supposed to deliver it to le petit. >> that's right. eric works exclusively for this man gerald passedat, the

extremely demanding chef/owner of le petit, marseille's only three-michelin-star restaurant. >> i'm ready for my fisherman, actually. won't be long. depends on what the mediterranean sea will offer to us. >> so it's a long line, tony. >> how long is the line? >> he says he has about 300 hooks. >> he basically lays it out at night, comes back. >> and pick it up. >> yeah. >> whoa. in marseille, only five guys, five fishermen will rock it like him. >> wow. ♪ ♪ >> you know he has 300 hooks.

♪ ♪ >> this must be the 12th fishing scene. no, i must have done 20 fishing scenes in my life and i think i had one good day out of all of them. other than that, it's been one humiliating goat rodeo after another. ordinarily our typical fishing scene actually would be, it would be rougher than this. we'd be pitching back and forth and i'd be hanging on to the contents of my stomach only by realizing that they're feeling even sicker because they have to look through the viewfinder. so they're like, it's basically you're playing this race against time kind of a game. it's like who's going to puke first. >> yep. >> it's always the camera dudes, though. >> is it? >> no. generally it's our producer. ♪

♪ [ speaking french ] >> he said bad days, i had some bad days but this one -- >> this is the worst. >> this is the worst. >> well, there it is. another extraordinarily successful fishing scene in the can. time to reap the rewards awaiting us back on dry land. you'll tell me if there's oiled up amazons behind me. >> behind you? >> frolicking naked. >> yeah, right now they're kind of, like, mature amazons. it will happen. >> ah, here's the chef. >> nice to meet you. >> nice to meet you. an honor, sir. >> would you mind to have the bouillabaisse? >> we don't mind. >> change your mind? >> it's a very good idea.

>> reinvented, deconstructed and then usually there's the thing, itself. passedat's take on bouillabaisse, without a doubt marseille's most famous dish, is spread out over four courses. first shellfish carpaccio of raw mussels and clams. man. mmm. >> and they're whole, of course. they slice the mussels whole. that's crazy. wow. >> i decided to make this boulabas sse, i had the inspiration when i was a child. my knife opening the mussels, eating the mussels. there's no cream, no butter. it's not traditional at all. it's just based on the fish. this is my way of thinking. >> slipper lobster, weaver, angler, and red gurnard. lightly seared and then a touch in the oven. oh, whoa. this is just incredibly

beautiful. >> it's so delicate and at the same time flavorful and powerful. >> this is insanely good. a broth so intense it requires over ten kilos of rock crabs and various bony tasty little fishes to make just one kilo of brown, gloriously brown magical liquid. dorade and dentelle steamed over seaweed water. saffron potatoes. then finally comes that magical brown broth. >> oh. >> wow. >> ahh. >> that's a good one, huh? oh, man. >> this is unbelievable. you taste the entire fish you're eating, you know? >> just when my brain threatens to short circuit with pleasure, descending as if from heaven,

itself, cheese. oh, god, the cheese. i got to tell you, i don't care how many naked breasts are on that beach right now, because that is much more exciting. all right. look at it. it's beautiful. >> tastes good. >> yes. oh, look at that. oh, man. oh, i love. cheese like this. that is just incredible. oh, yes. ♪ >> that is exceptional. >> life is good. >> life is good. in marseille. >> it is very good in marseille.

>> it is very good in marseille. ♪ required. ch all free. and as if you needed another reason,

marseille was once the hub, the rough and tumble principal port for france's colony such as tunisia, morocco, and algeria. as a result, the sights and smells of africa permeate the city. there's been attempts to desway me from marseille, you don't want to go there, and yet i come here. correct me if i'm wrong, it is a beautiful city. it smells good. you smell the different pastries. and it's an extraordinary looking city and the people are really interesting looking. >> i must say, you are in the center of the world because the world is in marseille. we are connected to the mediterranean sea. so it's really different from the north of france. i feel closer to a guy from

oracle than a guy from maybe germany or -- it's different. >> cedric fabre is a marseillaise crime writer who spent decades deciphering the dense layers of crime and corruption, pastis, and sunshine. it's a perfect town for writers. plenty of atmospherics and lurid history. why do you think it's such a fertile ground to set a crime novel? >> for me it's more interesting because you write about the place you live in. i work in the street, i have an idea, et cetera. i couldn't write about past things because i have to know the real part of the city, the people. >> here it's a really interesting stew of characters. >> in marseille there is a very poor area and a very rich area. the difference between these two areas is the worlds in france so

that makes an interesting city because when we write crime novel, we write both the difference between the poor people, the rich people, et cetera, so that's interesting. >> femina is an algerian restaurant with some of the better couscous in town, and since it's a very filling dish and i only got one crack at it, i go for the royale. what else? vegetables, chickpeas, merguez sausage, chicken, hunks of lamb, and meatballs. what people say is that everybody sees themselves as marseillaise first and french second. regardless of your background. is that true? >> because in marseille, we love that city. it's our city. at the same time, we hate a lot of aspects. we have both love and hate. it's part of a complex, i think. marseille has always made bad choices in politics. when france lost the colonies,

it was an economic disaster for marseille. i'm thinking about one of your cities in the states, detroit. it was a huge city. it was very important. >> and a beautiful -- >> it happens. >> yeah. we abandoned detroit. we abandoned it. it became too black for america to love. >> maybe france is abandoning marseille. sometimes people say, in marseille, people, they are restless. i would say in marseille, people, they are connected with other people. >> let's hope marseillaise people figure that out because i think it's amazing here. [ bells ] >> if you ask real marseillaise these days, what's the iconic dish? the one thing you most closely associate with home. the answer might surprise you.

pizza. marseille, it turns out, is the pizza truck capital of france. so this could be a whole new beginning for you, eric. >> yes. >> i always said you should have a truck. >> yeah. i'll do it with you. >> do you have pizza experience? >> never did a pizza in my life. >> does he know this? >> no, he doesn't know. i'm going to tell him. >> oh. >> okay. let's go. >> our employer for this episode of the real world geriatric edition is jean-denis martinez. his yellow truck, a rolling pizza oven, is well known in the neighborhood meaning he's busy. >> are you sticking all those through? >> we're not going to be good at this. this is going to be like "i love lucy." >> more like "laurel and hardy." >> this is like a nightmare. i actually have this nightmare, where there's orders coming in, i don't understand what they are because it's in another language and i don't know where anything is and i'm falling behind. this is literally my nightmare. >> okay. >> get in there, man. get there. come on.

>> lucy. come on. put on the sauce. spread it out. come on. >> don't take my job. >> no, no, no. >> you don't push. >> sloppy, man. you're going nowhere, man. >> what? i'm getting there. >> has to be even, the sauce. >> okay. mushrooms and cheese. >> come on, man. customers are backing up here. they want the pizza. >> my pizza is good, okay? >> take that. give it to -- no, no, no, no. a little bit like that. give it to the lady. a little bit like that. a little bit like that. like that. good. >> pizza, i soon notice, is different here. toppings are somewhat on the high end. creme fraiche, reblochon cheese, figatelli, lardon, figs, chevre. look at this line. stop dicking around with your insane perfection.

can you translate this for me? i think this man is speaking in profanities to me. how long have you been working on this pizza? michelangelo worked on the sistine chapel for less time. >> there's a line of people waiting, tony. >> mood's turning ugly out there. >> tony, the lady wants a pizza. >> he's new. he's new. i can't do anything with him. ♪ >> what happened? >> yeah. this is france. got a nice break. have i worked my 22-hour week yet? take one.

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you totally nailed that buddy. simple. don't let directv now limit your entertainment. only xfinity gives you more to stream to any screen. another beautiful day in paradise and we're heading out into the countryside. as always, when embarking on a brotastic adventure, an appropriate vehicle is called for. in this case, a 1972 citroen maserati. this car is sweet. >> yeah. >> it's totally '70s. hugh hefner probably had one of these. no? i bet -- probably banged jane burken in one of the back of these. actually, you need a little more room. >> lourmarin is a

thousand-year-old town 90 minutes from marseille, a picture-perfect village known for its farmers' market. >> if i make a green salad, you going to eat it? >> no. >> this one is better, right? that one, okay. traditional. >> not messing around here. >> we're going to need, like, figs. >> what else is new? >> we need -- >> yeah, yeah, yeah. definitely. and some bread. >> and the bread. >> and wine. >> and the wine. >> a very, very, very expensive wine. >> yeah? >> yeah. we're blowing out the budget, man. [ speaking french ] >> okay. good. need more money. >> so we open two reds? we're going to be smashed.

♪ >> we'll be needing that. okay. that's our cheese selection. which i will be artfully plating. baking like a meatloaf all of a sudden. you go from freezing to high heat. i tell you -- it's like -- >> it's rough. >> it's rough. by the time we're halfway through this bottle, you'll think this is as good as the finest. by the way, we're not suggesting, advising, recommending or any way condoning the driving of a motor vehicle, espially a high-powered italian french hybrid while drunk because that would be wrong. >> we're going to take a nap before. >> right, until our blood alcohol level is in alignment with all local regulations and laws. >> i'm going to put salt on the tomatoes. oh, that's going to be good like that. >> you know martha stewart pretty well. you've been on her show a lot.

>> yeah, yeah. >> give me an honest answer. in a street fight, could martha stewart choke me out? >> i think if she goes to the dark side. yeah. >> i think so, too. this is not like my show at all, actually. i'm going to get shit for this, i'm telling you, you're not keeping it real anymore, man. you know, it looks like a wine label. as a buddhist, does this worry you? >> i'm sorry? >> as a buddhist does it worry you considering how well this life turned out for you? >> no, it's good karma from my previous life. i have to -- >> how long can that karma last? >> until it's dead. ends. >> when do you think that might be? >> any time soon. you never know. karma switch like that. >> what would you not want to come back as? what would a worst-case scenario be in the next life? >> how many chances do you have to be born as what you are, what i am? in the entire universe. >> isn't that worrying to you? the next life cannot possibly be better than this. it's probably going to suck. i mean, best-case scenario, you

know, in our next life, maybe if you get to sit in a sub shop in asbury park, new jersey, that will be the greatest day of your life. that will be the best-case scenario. >> but the most challenging -- >> more likely, you end up, you know, a mime. a diseased itinerant mime. wandering the streets scrounging for money. or worse -- >> you're a disparate case. i don't know what to do with you. >> i'm just saying how much better can it be than this? enjoy every minute of this now, eric and pray, pray, pray that this is it, that the end of the day they roll you into a hole in the ground and you're a diet for worms. because if you're right and there is a next life, we are [ muted ], my friend. >> to be enlightened, to come back, as many people as you can. all phenomenons of life and what you perceive as reality is ultimately one. let's leave it at that. >> serenity now. cheers. >> cheers.

>> with our bellies full, we're now prepared for the challenge to come. this is robert and daniel of the village's team. the hilltop town of luberon is where our epic battle is to take place. four men enter thunder dome. only two shall leave. >> look at these guys. we're totally getting hustled. yeah, we're in trouble. >> now they're not joking anymore. >> they are not. >> usa, usa, usa. >> oh, we have one point. >> all right. so our humiliation is not total. it's all we really were looking for. >> the rest we don't care. >> okay. which one is me? >> i don't know. >> oh. >> jinx it. jinx it. ♪ jinx.

see? told you. >> wishing evil on others. you're totally coming back as a sea cucumber. ♪ >> this is like "deliverance" in reverse. >> oh, no. >> what is it? 10-10 now? >> 10-10. >> i know, you're so into this. i can't believe it. you're so competitive. >> my jacket. >> oh, yeah, blame your jacket. there you go. >> oh! >> usa. i've never seen him so happy. all right. it's miller time. i've never seen this side of you, man. i don't know what to think. >> i cannot believe it. i'm like, wow.

>> lionel franc, known to his friends as lulu, grew up around le calanques and, yes, he would do that, he does it almost every day. >> you're very close. you have to push yourself? >> i push. >> i can't even look at you doing that. oh. >> that's it? you done? >> i'm done. i'm sick. don't like heights. oh, geez. i look at him and my calves start turning to jelly. you look at the fish. >> look at the fish. >> wow. so after you belly flop and your food squirts out both ends of you, the fish will feed on you. >> that's why they're coming. >> oh, geez. ♪ >> oh, look at that.

exactly like feeling ironic. me for breakfast. >> okay. good for me. ♪ ♪ ♪ >> oh. hey. all right. ♪

>> come on, man, you can do that. >> i don't know. >> impressive. >> yeah, very impressive. does he get paid for that? >> i don't know. look, as long as he's not a mime, i'm okay with it. >> he's definitely not a mime. >> even the smell of mime makeup i start to tremble with fear. >> so it's a phobia. >> it's a serious phobia. don't like it. mimes, clowns, nurses shoes. those white nurses shoes. >> oh, the clogs. >> no. they're, like, super comfortable, like, and they're white. >> yeah. >> but not, like, super white because they've been, you know, walking through various bodily fluids and there's a little speck of, like, blood or urine on it. that's true terror. >> wow. [ speaking french ] >> no panic. plane like this. you keep like this. ♪

>> missed it by that much. ♪ >> too many men on this show. it's a freakin' brofest. like most places, the overwhelming majority of chefs in marseille are men. however, each month, georgiana viou hosts a dinner for her female colleagues, chefs all. everybody here a chef in the business? >> yep. >> how many more are there like you? >> maybe three or four in marseille. >> france, kind of macho country, and if you want to find your place, it's very difficult when you are a girl. really. >> actually, like, in mediterranean, the example for cooking, the basic -- >> yes. >> if you want to have good food, you don't go to a restaurant in marseille that much.

you know your grandmother or mother will cook much better. >> georgiana is from benin, via nigeria and london, but beyond all else, she's marseillaise. beef tartare with botargo, dried mullet eggs, apple and celeriac. counterintuitive, one may think, but truly amazing and delicious. >> i come to paris, and i used to cook with butter and cream and whatever, and today i can't imagine my cuisine without olive oil, without vegetables, without seafood, without spices. and on the top you're going to put some salt of the tartare. >> it's a good idea. it's better than putting anchovies. >> if you want, you can do it on tartare. >> i'm going to do it. i'll send you the picture. >> sure. >> seriously. i'm going to do it. >> oh, cool.

>> and my single favorite marseillaise classic, pieds paquets, a dish which encapsulates everything i love and believe in about food. first the hair on the sheep's foot is burned off. the meat is then tenderized and cut into pieces. sheep's tripe is cleaned and cut into squares. each piece is stuffed with onions, parsley, garlic and salt pork before being rolled and wrapped into small pouches. these are stewed for several hours in a sauce of white wine, tomatoes, bacon, onion, and carrots along with the sheep's foot. i love this dish. >> i love this dish, too. >> this is everything i believe in in food. this is just absolutely the top. >> a dish with soul. to make it good, you have to put your soul into it. >> yes. >> if you don't have it, you don't have pieds paquets. >> i like it here. he's already thinking about retiring here. >> in marseille? sure. >> you said you could retire here. >> i said i could retire here.

yeah. yeah, why not? >> no, no, i'm happy to hear that. >> it's not an easy city. it's not museums, you know, everything is kind of dirty and complicated. but when you are in marseille and just you have the fantastic life and the sea and you can have the best fishes. yes, you are home. yes, you are home. i mean, just like being home. that's why verizon has the best deals of the year

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it's especially so when it's a customer that's doing such good and important work for the environment. together, we're building a better california. marseille is not france in the best possible way. algerians, moroccans, italians their cultural and culinary influences have enriched marseille with flavors and colors all their own. but there's another major influence. the corsican mafia, who to be fair along with their italian and sicilian colleagues did kind of run things around here for much of the last century. those days are mostly over. and the corsican presence has dwindled to a few thousand which is a shame because corsica produces some of the most wonderful cheese anywhere.

>> pancetta and the -- >> awesome. we want everything. a cured meat and cheese shop run by marie paul and family still going after 70 years. famously, notoriously, however you want to put it, this was a corsican town. i mean, when i would go as a kid -- >> yeah. >> -- my haunt, probably a typical, you know, sort of xenophobic french woman of her generation said the corsicans, they're all gangsters or policemen. oh, today just got better. very flavorful. >> oh, this one is unbelievable. the flavor of that is unbelievable. >> they're not dicking around. i love this. it's making me happy. want some? here, have a piece. >> you want some.

this one is special. >> all right. let's move on. some cheese. ♪ ah, look at that. that's beautiful. >> this one is milder. this one is strong. >> wow. that is some -- >> looks very -- >> that is some deep funk. that is some -- wow. see, when i eat cheese like this and i drink wine like this, i start thinking about my fantasies. maybe you saw "godfather 2." >> yeah. >> i just think i could spend the rest of my life sitting on a hill in corsica eating goat cheese and drinking wine and having my enemies killed by remote control. >> i would love to live that lifestyle except for killing enemies. as you know, i'm not killing anyone. >> i've never seen you wish ill on anyone. as long as i've known you. you've never even said that rat bastard, i hope something really bad happens, i hope he gets

stomach cancer. or, you've never even said i hope he loses his girlfriend. you've never wished ill on anyone. >> i don't. >> so let me ask, in your darkest heart of hearts, do you ever stray, do you ever find yourself thinking, oh, i really hope they just, i don't know, i hope they get herpes? i wish ill on people every day. >> for you, you know, i mean, just to wish well. ♪ >> it's a big night in marseille. the city's football team, that's soccer team to you, is playing which means the whole city's watching. eric and i head to the hipster neighborhood to meet up with gilles rof, a filmmaker and sportswriter for france's top newspaper "le monde." so tonight, the big game. it's marseille. >> leo.

>> it's leo against marseille. it's not here. >> we'll get to watch it on tv. will all of marseille be watching this? >> yeah. >> everybody's going to be watching. >> you know, we did a very good season. at the end of the season, we are only fourth. >> so it's a must win. >> so it's a must win today. >> right. >> so the dream is to see marseilles crush paris and move on. >> they don't want to be second to paris. they want to be second to known. it's one of the only where they can be first.

>> that's why people here love so much their soccer team. because it's the place where you can show your identity. if you go all around the streets and you ask people where are you from, they will tell you i'm from morrocco or but if you ask what is your favorite team they will say marseilles. because they are part of the city. had he are from this city. and the football team is the flag the this city. hey, evan. so, you're stuck at a work thing.

with directv and at&t you can stream all your favorite shows without using youra. thatore powe than a table for 60. wednesdays are the new thursdays! or the mandatory after party. how early is too early to leave? you're not going anywhere. i'm not going anywhere. it's your tv, take it with you. watch all your live directv channels, on at&t, data free.

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♪ about 75 years ago the

properties around le calanques were mostly farmland then small shacks. the working-class families from the city used as weekend getaways. no running water or indoor plumbing. simple. a place to get together, have a long winey lunch. >> hello. >> hello. >> you can't build new ones and the ones that are here like this one owned by dominique and natalie have been in the same family since the '40s. and they ain't going anywhere. is this area protected? meaning if i wanted to open a giant modern hotel across there, it's impossible, right? >> actually, a couple of years ago it was kind of scaled up on the protection level, so nothing's going to happen. >> and most of these properties are owned by the same family for many years? that's nice. >> lunch is being prepared by andre, around here known as

didi. panisse, crispy fried fritters of chickpea that go well with natalie's aioli, and one of my favorites, mediterranean sea snails simmered in garlic, wild fennel, and orange peel. that's the taste of this region for me. it's garlic. >> yep. >> olive oil. >> yep. >> saffron. >> exactly. >> and look at this. look at this. sardine. lightly marinated in lemon and olive oil. you can pretty much rub that all over me. i don't care. >> so good. so fresh. >> perfect. oily little fish in a garden. okay. so we discussed the characteristics of the true marseillaise. >> yeah. >> is marseille france? >> no.

>> you're loyal to new york before america. >> that's true. so what about the people? what do all true, true marseillaise have in common? >> a big liar? >> they have the reputation of exaggerating. so if you eat sardines like that, we learn sardines like this. daube, october put stew slow cooked in wine and typical elements of cooking like dry orange peel, garlic and tomato. spoon over pasta and enjoy. oh, yes. i can smell that octo stock. fantastic. so when are you retiring? at what age? >> as soon as possible. seriously.

right? >> you want to come back? >> yeah, i don't want to leave. when you see that, that lifestyle, and people come from all over europe by highways, they spend hours in their car to be here. my grandparents and my uncles used to have that lifestyle. like exactly like that. >> right. >> and i forgot about it. now i'm remembering. >> i'm telling you, a chain of cynical surf and turf restaurants, we can cash out in two years. >> if it is to be here, yeah, i'll do it. >> you heard it here first. ♪ ♪

there's a lot of unsenator. it's a shock. >> feels like the end of the world. >> it feels bad. >> the ramifications for it. >> you don't know what to do.