cnn films, presented by volkswagen. ♪ ♪

>> the only person who walk into the country, heck, you had the weight of the nation on your shoulders. you know, we were america's response to the most catastrophic terrorist attack on u.s. soil ever. and for a lot of us, you know, we felt that we had a responsibility to the people that died to set the stage that you just don't do that to

america and not pay the price. it was about not retribution, but it was about justice. >> what's that saying about who will go, send me. sir? >> yeah, who will go and who shall i send? send me because i'm the dude that wants to make somebody pay for killing my brothers and sisters. >> i think we have to assume that there will be more attacks. >> the united states military has begun strikes. >> coalition war planes have free rein over afghanistan. >> the public, though, i think

94% of the public wants us to go in somewhere and do something. >> special forces known as the green berets. >> the green berets. >> inside afghanistan, these reports first appeared in pakistani newspapers. >> known as the quiet professionals. >> so secretive we do not disclose even their first names. >> i never spoke out the way i felt like i should have. >> it was american green beret raid in the dark of night. guns starting to flail back and forth. pow, pow. >> this is another type of warfare. war by guerrillas. >> unconventional war. >> to me it's like brotherhood. >> what is winning? you are just praying you'll get to prove yourself to your brothers.

>> what began as a hundred day mission -- >> the longest war. >> -- war in american history. >> we've been living it for 15 years. >> i was 10, 1970, i guess. i saw john wayne and the green berets, and i thought, man, yeah. >> they all seem to think that because my dad joined that it was natural for me to join. but that wasn't the case. i went to go see a movie. >> funny thing. fella takes one of these into battle and carries a strange sense of guilt all the rest of his life. >> i figured everything else

i've done in the army hadn't been all that hard for me. i figured how hard could it be. it was pretty hard. [ laughter ] pretty good, yeah. ♪ >> the taliban must turn over osama bin laden and must destroy the terrorist camps. otherwise, there will be a consequence. >> a spokesman for the taliban denies afghanistan allowed bin laden to strike from its territory. >> good afternoon. on my orders, the united states military has begun strikes against a taliban regime in afghanistan.

♪ ♪ ♪ >> i'm as close to these people as anyone in my own family and in some ways closer. these are my 11 best friends in the world. that's how i feel.

>> no. >> this one. >> this is us in afghanistan. >> i mean, and we were in, you know, some harsh -- >> we were probably in the extremist combat environment as you can fathom. it tested you in every way, physically, mentally, emotionally. >> we are it. when you need the army, we are the vanguard, the spearhead, the praetorian. >> 15 years. >> wow. since vietnam. >> yeah. >> we're talking about people, you know, as a unit we've been deployed doing some pretty crazy crap. wow. you get into a unit like this and that's what you do. that's your game. >> i've been in the military now 30 years.

that mission was the pinnacle of my career. the absolutely finest thing a team of green berets could do. >> mark wasn't on the team anymore at that time. so i thought i was good to go. i was 6 1/2 months pregnant. and he got a call. we were in a baby store shopping for things. i think mr. paul called him and said, guess what? you're back on the team. you know, like, oh. >> we both realized i was probably not going to be there for the birth of our child. on the drive back from nashville, then we realized we better pick a name. amy knew we were going to go, but she didn't know well.

hell, i didn't know where we were going exactly. >> ramp runs down a big cloud of that fine talcum powder dust. we come piling out of the back of that, haul all of our -- stuff. helicopter takes off. the dust kind of settles and out of the dust comes the sand people. >> that's right. >> you see a man with an ak who is dressed just hike your enemy

and you got to walk over to him and basically ask him, hey, how are you doing? and you have no idea whether he's going to say -- put out his hand and shake it or he's going to shoot you. >> the taliban's army is some 30,000 fighters. born from the crucible of war. captured kabul in 1996 and imposed draconian laws. >> indiscriminate and brutal. >> whipped in public for adultery in front of an all-male audience. >> osama bin laden called for money and his fighters. [ chanting ] >> the northern alliance came together in mutual opposition to the taliban. >> general dustin and his

advanced security party come riding up. >> generally dustin, who has a fierce reputation for his treatment of prisoners. >> he jumps down off of the horse. >> general dostum agreed to take my team members and i up to his former command post. >> i can't guarantee your safety. there are some people who are upset that the americans are here. >> so we would mount horses for the first time in combat. >> mark knows horses. he knew horses when he got there. we did. mark figured out real quick that if you go up to 400 dudes on a horse and say, somebody get off a horse and give it to an american, you ain't going to get a smooth horse. >> we got to general dostum's headquarters. my job at that point is to establish and maintain rapport.

his plan that he had briefed to us was mazar-e sharif was the key. to the country. if we could liberate mazar-e sharif, then the provinces could be liberated. if we liberated the northern provinces then kabul could be liberal erated. from there haret, kandahar, islamabad. we represented fifth group. we recommended america's policy at the nasty pointy-end bloody end of that fight that we went in to help enable the possibility of a brighter future for the people of afghanistan. >> it was my first rodeo.

we got married in april. he left in october. he was a medic. i thought it was safe. yeah, he lied to me, guys. no, he didn't lie to me. he was a medic. >> every time they leave and they comback, they're a little bit different each time. >> a lot of memories. you know what i mean? you kind of tamp down and put away. not so good, but that's okay. every one of the husbands will tell you that they're going to die before us spouses do. >> i'll drink scotch. >> toast. >> there you go. >> we got chad. >> d.b. >> steve. >> bill, wherever you are. >> salute. >> salute.

>> dear god in heaven. >> that's nasty. >> what is this? >> say hello. it wasn't until you were forced to retire you had to retire, then you isolated yourself from your family and everybody else. you internalize everything, you try to find a new normalcy. sit. sit. what i found kind of peace with was to go out here and crawl around on jeeps and be one again.

being out here, i mean, listen, you know. you get to have no thoughts at all. >> each one of our stories are almost similar how we isolated ourselves, our family, everything else. started reaching out and found, you know, the only way we're all going to heal each other is to get back together. >> holy -- >> is that bloopers? >> there we go. marky mark. >> marky mark. >> i'm up here somewhere. that's me right there.

>> you know, special forces you have a team and a team is 12 men. you got a captain and a team sergeant, a team warrant officer, two engineers, two como, two medics, and that formulates a team. two weapons sergeant. each team would have a specialty, like high altitude, low opening, jumping or scuba diving or assaulting. direct action. >> i was the greatest tactician for direct action that there was. back then i thought i was on top of the world. >> again on special forces, can you give us a sense of how the size and scope of their mission will expand in the next month from classic liaison and

reconnaissance to more direct action shoot 'em up ambush type of situations? >> a short answer, andhais that one should not assume that there has not been strategic reconnaissance and direct action activity. you would not expect me to tell you exactly what they're doing. >> evidence that another much more covert operation is well under way. >> these special forces are trying to hunt down suspected terrorists. >> the commandos go out and root out some of that infrastructure. >> the mission statement was to kill or capture senior al qaeda and taliban leadership. stop. insert location. stop. at our level, there was a big map there, and the big map is synchronized by who's next? who's on first. then who's on first is a number and a pitcher.

a little bit of background. >> into one room, total chaos, seven guys, machine guns, shooting people hand to hand. you run in the next room guys were shooting out the back of the window, one guy surrender. you go into the next room, bam. it was on, off, on, off, on, off, on, helicopter, home. when i was a kid, i was forced to read homer's odyssey about a warrior king trying to come home and the family going through that situation. you don't really understand it because you don't have the maturity. now you're trying to find, you know, the subtleties and calmness of life. that right now is more valuable

than a million dollars in the bank. cnn films brought to you by the volkswagen tiguan. ["love is all around" by joan jett & the blackhearts] ♪ who can turn the world on with her smile? ♪ ♪ who can take a nothing day, ♪ ♪ and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile? ♪ ♪ well it's you girl, and you should know it. ♪ with each glance and every little movement you show it. ♪ you're gonna make it after all. ♪ it takes a long time to get to the top... you're gonna make it after all. ♪ but with america's best you're gonna make it after all. ♪ bumper-to-bumper limited you're gonna make it after all. ♪ warranty, the all-new volkswagen tiguan will be there every step ♪ ow! ♪ of the way. how much money do you think you'll need in retirement? then we found out how many years that money would last them.

how long do you think we'll keep -- oooooohhh! you stopped! you're gonna leave me back here at year 9? how did this happen? it turned out, a lot of people fell short, of even the average length of retirement. we have to think about not when we expect to live to, but when we could live to. let's plan for income that lasts all our years in retirement. prudential. bring your challenges. we are the tv doctors of america, and we may not know much about medicine, but we know a lot about drama. we also know that you can avoid drama by getting an annual check-up. so go, know, and take control of your health. it could save your life. cigna. together, all the way.

♪ as a leader you have to balance what's the mission, what are you trying to accomplish. and the mission is invariably to put your soldiers in harm's way. so as a soldier you want to see it, to understand it, to be tested by it. but then as a leader you're so terrified of the thought of making bad decisions that get your soldiers killed.

>> you need a very strong team leader. amerine was outstanding. >> it's like a democracy. you've got to kind of -- it's strong wills. 12 strong wills. >> you're stuck with a bunch of guys and thrown into afghanistan. it was just fun. yeah, it was awesome. >> you know, we identified terenkote as the first step in our campaigns. but the goal was to seize kandahar. i met hamid for the first time

in a hallway. he was going to the bathroom and i was walking to get some coffee, and it was just men trying to work with one another that didn't have any time for bullshit. even as all the tensions rose between the u.s. and hamid karzai, he still had a uncanny ability to hold things together over there. i think it was around 3:00 in the morning or so the f-18s spotted a small convoy of tcks heading north. so here are these f-18s flying overhead and they're calling for permission to engage. and that was when the war really became real.

there was just this moment where allen looks at me and says are they clear to engage and like everybody was suddenly quiet. i mean, i was going to authorize these f-18s to drop bombs on pickup trucks that were likely the enemy but, you know, what if i was wrong. and it was the silence that always sticks with me. you know, are they cleared to engage and suddenly all eyes are on me. i looked at alan, and i said, "smoke 'em." and after i said the words it was just sort of where did that come, from "smoke 'em"? i don't say shit like that. that's just not me.

the thing we didn't realize, though, is these trucks weren't the leading edge of the convoy, they were actually at the tail of the convoy of maybe 1,000 taliban. >> so we're just kind of looking with binos and we saw this glimmer. >> i mean, these guys were coming heavy. and we're talking 23-millimeter guns. 23-millimeter is like that big. i mean, it will -- it will blow you -- it would be like mist. >> we'd tell the pilots, okay, where the two trucks right there. and the pilots are going that's it? yeah. that's us. everything else is enemy south of us. >> we were [ bleep ]ed. >> and yoshida assured us. he's like, man, i'm on 10, i'm talking to these pilots, we're knocking them out.

and he would just keep saying clear hot, clear hot. through the whole night he just kept going further and further and further. and we just like bombed out like 100 vehicles through the whole night. >> down the road is a go. >> i mean, i don't know that we were high-fiving and euphoric. it's like whew, we're just trying to win. and live. >> i think for me the notion of fighting from a distance, of fighting with these air strikes, it didn't sit well with me. i mean, it almost promoted just the promiscuous use of military

power. i don't know how to explain it. it's just -- i mean, we would have died otherwise. there was no alternative. but something just didn't feel quite right about it. in the end we slaughtered them. you know, and as they were retreating we kept bombing them. we wiped them out. but i didn't feel good about how we had to do it. i just felt like -- i felt like i should have been looking the enemy in the eye before i killed them. >> we went down and we started doing battle damage assessment and counting, you know, destroyed vehicles. you know, and some of them there were still some charred bodies that just were -- >> they were traveling in these little toyota trucks and you'd jam as many guys in the back of the truck and as many guys in the front of the truck as you could. so there might be eight or nine

people in a toyota truck. and there was, you know, hundreds of those trucks. >> i don't know how to describe it. it was just -- it was just what it is. you just -- you're like initially kind of -- i don't want to say shocked, but you're just like -- i mean, you're seeing people that are literally burned and charred to death. you know, you're like, wow. >> that was the first of any of that carnage that i'd seen, you know, with my own two eyes. if didn't really bother me. it was just kind of gruesome, whatever, but you're the enemy and so it's okay. and that's kind of how you programmed it. if i don't do this to you, you're going to do it to me. and it's really that simple.

>> one of the things people -- the first thing out of their mouth, how many people did you kill? i didn't know we were counting. i didn't know we were supposed to count. if you know how many people you've killed, it's probably not enough. >> it's not a scorecard. >> it's not a scorecard. you know, it's -- and there's a difference between shooting somebody face to face and somebody from a distance, dropping a bomb. got him. ooh, dust, whoo-hoo, high five. you know, a little bit longer shot, wow, the mechanics of that shot was great. face to face, i could tell you what they smelled like, you know, how long it took them to

bleed. some guys can't get rid of the smell. okay? the smell of a burning body is different than the smefl a burning tire. and you never know until you walk by and you're like, oh, shit. that smell's now implanted in your brain, what it means. >> my beard was covered in blood. i mean, i didn't just see, smell, i tasted. i thought i broke my nose, but then i realized, i didn't get hit by anything. and why am i bleeding? and oh, it wasn't my blood. and i still -- i will get that flash smell on occasion. it will just take me right back. you just -- that's -- you know, that's the horror of it all. it's very personal.

>> i grew up with that strong american cowboy u.s. cavalry heritage. was probably on a horse before i could walk. you know, i studied u.s. and confederate cavalry commanders. we had walked the battlefields of gettysburg and down through the tennessee campaign. it was not lost on me that here i am in the 21st century and i'm leading a 19th century cavalry. >> one of the things about the sf guys, most of them are kind of rough and tumble guys to begin with.

>> you of all people are not going to believe -- >> she goes -- >> and the other way with that -- >> put that down first. put that down. >> the way i grew up in west virginia, it was clannish. certain hollows, all these families live up this one. e families live up that one. if you make an enemy of one guy here, there's more. yeah, understanding how tribal people think is obviously going to help. >> [ speaking foreign language ]. >> every one of these leaders told us, do not become portrayed as the invaders. you're here as liberators. that's what you say. because we were so few guys, we

could actually portray the taliban are actually the foreign invaders. the pakistani taliban that had come over. the al qaeda that had taken over and hijacked these people's country. >> straight ahead. that is foreign taliban. >> foreign taliban. >> the one to the left -- >> we've now raised this army. we're going to rise up across the northern provinces and we're going to interpret for mazar shareef. just the situation dictated we needed to decentralize. each of these three-man cells then is tasked to support an afghan commander that had between 300 to 7 50 fighters. each of those cells is a four to eight-hour horse ride.

it was hot, dusty, dirty, riding the meanest, rankest, nastiest horse. >> i rode that horse one time. >> rusty. >> and i was like, oh, my god, vince, how are you staying on this thing? >> that horse was cross-bred with a werewolf. >> that thing -- >> the americans would get bucked off. the afghans would get bucked off. and everybody would kind of cheer. that was another bonding experience. >> extraordinary defense department photo released today. united states special forces on horseback. >> when is the last time you saw u.s. military personnel in combat on horseback? >> we haven't had them in combat in a long time. that's a tough mission. >> that was kind of a -- >> when i got the phone call at 3:00 in the morning.

>> well, two and two still make four. like where could they be? >> hmm, afghanistan perhaps? >> we couldn't talk about where we were at or anything we were about to do. and coming back from a stirmish i get a message, something's wrong. call home. >> i had -- i had kaia and michelle, bless her heart, she was on the phone trying to find a way to get a hold of mark to let him know i had delivered our daughter. and -- but i didn't hear from him till we were already discharged and at home several days later. >> and you went in for an appointment, a normal appointment and there were some confrontations evidently and the o.b. specialist said you're having this baby today and it was over, what, a month early. >> yeah. she said i had two hours to get

my affairs 2340rd andin order, was not to leave, that i had to stay on the hospital grounds. >> he had called -- as i understand every one of you were in the delivery room. >> but it's what you do. you just do what you have to do to keep your house in order, to keep your kids doing what they're supposed to be doing while they're -- and while they're doing what they do, you do what you have to do. and that's just the way we are. that's the way this group of ladies are. >> bounce back. you know, they teach you that in the course. they teach you that in e rangers cour, the seer school. you have to bounce back. so i regrouped, took a deep breath, and -- we're about to go into battle.

[ bird noises ] >> oh. >> morning wood. >> wish we had that kkkhhhh. >> it's a froth machine. >> yeah, whatever. >> worth $7 a cup. >> i want to do something, man.

>> you know there's going to be a fight. what are you going to do? slap each other? there's a breaking of a wrist, a breaking of a finger that's on you. there's a chewing of a nose off. >> we hit one of the compounds and you could just tell right away, you know, that it was going to be a difficult hit. >> building 1. >> you had less than one hour from the time you left the helicopter because if you weren't on the helicopter in another hour they would fly off for 24 hours. and you had to stay there. >> unlike you we didn't have any afghani counterparts. we were -- it was us on our own. and we were out in bad guy country with no support. >> and we breached into the house. it's all squishy and everything. we're walking around, we went hey. at the time we realized they didn't have beds or furniture, they just kind of had rugs. >> yeah.

>> so we're under nightvision. you can barely see anything. your eyes are going green. and on the floor you saw some movement, like what the heck. i was a big guy then and tony was twice as big as me. we're looking. and all of a sudden we see two little hands um come up from this blafrnlth and linket and l. she looks up, squeezes her eyes like this. and i'm like -- you don't want to say nothing because her dad could be in the next room. and we've all got kids. imagine your girl starts screaming. so all of a sudden she did. she started screaming and going nuts. we're like -- yeah, be quiet. so you pick her up. started screaming even more. one of the other rooms had caught fire. so now she's really screaming, going crazy. >> you can hear it over the radio.

aaahhh! >> we were outside in a gun fight. >> i remember i had a baby boost bar. so i reach in my pocket and pull out a little baby ruth bar. she didn't know what candy is. going like this. she's screaming, turning her head and everything. i put it on my lips. put it on her lips. she licks her lips. like huh? i came around the corner we they were lining up some other family members. and i come out of thearkn ds. i thi it was rodney athe put the kid down. you doing? there's gunfire over here. is this a phone?

or a little internet machine? it makes you wonder: shouldn't we get our phones and internet from the same company? that's why xfinity mobile comes with your internet. you get up to 5 lines of talk and text at no extra cost. so all you pay for is data. see how much you can save. choose by the gig or unlimited. xfinity mobile.

a new kind of network designed to save you money. call, visit, or go to xfinitymobile.com. the rest of my tattoo. >> did you really? i need to get some more. >> one of the big thingsbout coats being able to keep your emotion in check. a lot of people say that we don't have emotions anymore.

well, maybe it's because we're good at controlling our emotions and not letting our emotions overtake everything else. >> because you suppressed all those emotions so much and so long you don't know what you're supposed to be happy for or sad for anymore. zero emotions across the board. i don't get overly happy. i don't get overly sad. i don't get overly excited. and it becomes a big burden for the family too because they don't know where i'm at. did i do a good thing, dad? of course, i love you. way to go. >> my name's bill howe. nice to meet you. yeah, i worked with jefferson. i'm a special forces guy. yes, ma'am. i worked with him in fifth

group. fixed the bike, put it back together, got it running. yes, sir. >> holy -- look at that. september '02. >> to be able to do this for jesse is awesome. you know, he was a man that could walk in the room and tell you how it is. it's loud. the engine strong, just like my father. in my head that emulates everything my father was and what i missed about him. >> i mean, there's no way that anyone could ever replace his dad. but if each one of us can give

him a little something of what j.d.'s not able to, then i believe we're doing our job as brothers. ♪ >> i would have never wanted to be my wife. i wouldn't have wanted to be one of my sons. back and forth, back and forth, not knowing if you're going to come home, somebody else getting killed. what kind of father was i? i was young. very hard. very mean.

it's the whole intimacy of family that i didn't have it when i was a green beret because i was a good green beret. did a lot of things wrong. good lord. and if i could, i'd do a lot of them different. i'd sure be a better father. and a better husband. you know. it's just -- but what can you do? but try to learn and move forward. you know? >> i remember when my dad originally got his paperwork

about how he's going to be the team sergeant of team 574. and that was my dad's biggest dream, to be a team sergeant. >> working the tobacco field. yes. >> that's a real scorpion right there. >> he left, and then -- >> next to his tattoo. >> it felt normal again in the sense that that's what he would do, he'd leave and go do his work and we would all be here, go to school, and then he would come back in six or nine months. we would see him again. >> this is the first letter i received from him. hello, sweetheart. today is the 31st of october. this has been the hardest trip for me. i really didn't want to go. i just didn't want to leave you and the kids.

>> i never met him. >> his love for family extended to how he treated the team. it was an extension of his family. >> he was a good team sergeant. he was rather soft-spoken. he was like a big bear until -- until you pissed him off. we didn't piss him off a lot. >> the anti-taliban forces appear to be closing in on the taliban stronghold of kandahar. >> talks on afghanistan's future began this morning. >> the 44-year-old pashtun tribal commander hamid karzai. >> after tarin kowt there were all these terrific indicators we had the taliban scared. >> we'd go through a village and not even fire a shot. these guys would come out of the

woodwork. and you would be amped up. what? what? about ready to shoot. you know, they'd be like, aaahh. you know. once they could see the force coming in, they were all about it. they wanted to be with you. they want odd to get the taliban out. >> we were literal lly throwing k's in the back of suvs in just stacks and piles. got a couple more guys, let's keep going. >> had this 300-man mob of afghan fighters and just had to move this mob down to kandahar. >> that's when we coined the term like an afghan convoy. >> i knew it was completely unrealistic when i went in the special force that's i'd be given the kind of autonomy that holy shit, here i have this exactly the campaign i, you know, dreamed of.

>> northern alliance commander, they have moved their troops into areas close to mazar e sharif. >> fighting intensifying. >> we had greater maneuverability on horseback in that terrain than the taliban or al qaeda did. they're in armored vehicles and pickup trucks. they're tied to their fuel depots. and so we were able to cut them off from reinforcement and cut them off from retreat. i probably rode 300 miles or more. i was determined i was going to ride that horse all the way into mazar-e-sharif. >> crossed over the river. the water was high enough the horses actually started to float down the river. and of course we did not want to go for a swim.

>> standing in the water, very cold water, water up to my waist, i just looked back, looked south, and then i just realized it was -- it was the most unbelievable shot i'd ever seen. it was 1,000 riders on horseback. it was peaceful yet magnificent. >> mazar-e-sharif has indeed been captured by the northern alliance. >> they perceived us as liberators. i didn't learn until later that they perceived my team from the uzbek lore as malakas, avenging angels with swords of lightning. >> the fall of this city is the

biggest blow to the ruling taliban since the allied air strikes began 35 days ago. >> that was the pinnacle of what all sf soldiers trained for. >> i graduated from the university of nevada, las vegas with an accounting degree. went to work for an accounting firm and determined that i did not like it at all. and i said, there's got to be more to life than balancing a checkbook.

don bolduck was the best officer in the battalion. he was also my operations officer. >> it was the opinion of the senior leadership at the pentagon that they wanted a lieutenant colonel, a more experienced officer on the ground in afghanistan, and so that's why we deployed. to me it was -- it was exciting. i mean one day i'll tell my grandkids about it when i'm old and decrepit and they'll say oh, yeah, sure grandpa. >> while left to our own devices we felt like we were able to get a lot done. it was almost the seeds of our own destruction because

everything went so well. then we find out, you know, headquarters with 20 folks are going to come in. >> i remember celebrating thanksgiving in pakistan and then we infilled the next night. >> okay, moving in. >> once i got there, i had a big meeting. you know, getting coffee breath close with them. and i explained it to them. i said okay, here's the deal. this is the way it's been organized. this is the way it's been directed. and we're soldiers, so let's salute the flagpole and get beyond the emotion of it. >> so the thing we had feared when this higher command comes in and starts giving us orders, we're going to have to fire them, well, higher command comes in giving us orders and now we have to follow them. somebody else is now controlling the fight. >> i meet captain amerine for the very first time.

captain amerine and master sergeant davis. i don't think they were real happy. >> oh, god. i hate it. telling this story just sucks. always sucks. but i've seen all the ways that the truth can be twisted and i couldn't let that happen. >> how are you? >> i don't know.

i don't know. ♪ >> the morning of the 5th things were done. >> 7:00, we started seeing people, oh, all right. then hey, what's going on? and then the mail. so you know, we were reading

mail and burning it as soon as you read it. >> on the 5th of december the targets were predominantly in this area. we received intel from what we considered a very reliable source on where the taliban and al qaeda that were still resisting us on the other side of the bridge were. so i went to colonel fox, i said, sir, i would like to start initiating some close air support, daytime close air support in this area. >> the hostilities were over. the taliban were coming to surrender. why was the battalion headquarters calling in an air strike to begin with? to me it was pretty obviously a way to say that they'd engaged the enemy before the war ended. >> i don't know if the sun hit it just right, but we observed

the opening of a cave. >> every air strike that we directed was basically personally authorized by me. i explained it to fox and buldoc. >> i'm a colonel, he's a captain. so both professional enough to know, you know, i'm giving the orders, you know, you execute the orders. >> i was livid, again, trying to contain my anger. there was no valid target to bomb there. >> he's a commander. i mean, he outranks you. he can do whatever he wants, really. is it the most tactically proper way of doing things? no. not with us being there. >> we could have done nothing, but nothing was -- you know, i don't believe that was the proper course of action.

>> we were just -- we were just trying to interdict them and drop enough ordnance on them to make a statement and kind of ruin their day and get them to dislodge and go in retreat. >> b-52s overhead. they look back at me and say, are we cleared to drop a 2,000-pound jdam on the cave opening? i say yes. you know, i -- it's a -- it's something that i'll take to my grave with me as, you know, should i have done something different. should i have -- should i have just ignored this? >> when you call in an air strike, you have to be hyper sensitive of all of the things that could go wrong. you're talking about 2,000-pound

bomb. >> i would give everything back, all the promotions, all of the recognition, all of the medals, everything that i have, everything that i have for none of this to ever have happened. >> all emotion and everything just kind of shut off for a little bit. and i remember this feeling, it was [ bleep ] you, i'm not dead. >> the next thing i know is that my head is being driven into the dirt. >> mag was blown apart over here. this is -- i didn't see anybody. i mean, you're focused right here. >> and i had blood and body parts all over my uniform. >> and i'm just sitting there

looking at myself and this thumb was touching the inside of my arm here. and i'm like, oh, that's bad, as i arched, i had a sucking chest wound, all of this blood starts blasting out of my shirt here and i remember starting to go into shock and i said "oh my god" three times. the last thing i thought was as i was looking at that, if i go face down i'm going to drown in this. and so when i go out i've got to go and turn my head this way. that's the last thing i remember. and i -- >> you know, there's really not a day i don't think about that whole event. i mean, we never found enough of master sergeant davis. we had to do a dna analysis because the bomb hit exactly where he was standing.

♪ >> our company sergeant major came in with the news that 574 had a jdam drop on their position and said j.d. and dano were k.i.a. and that was -- that was kind of a devastated moment. >> the 574 casualties hit me pretty hard. trying to figure out how i want to tell you this. >> these guys on your left and right, and they will always be there, no matter what.

and to me, it's like brotherhood. excuse me. >> i finally shut off for a minute and i just cried my eyes out. the first americans killed in afghanistan were killed by their own people. >> afghan fighters have deserted the taliban. >> soldiers are now deserting in the hundreds. >> ty surrendered ndahar that day. and i just need a minute here.

r. ...from godaddy! in fact, 68% of people who have built their... ...website using gocentral, did it in under an hour, and you can too. build a better website - in under an hour. with gocentral from godaddy.

[ applause ] in four short months our nation has begun to rebuild new york and the pentagon. rallied a great coalition. >> i was down there below, on the floor of congress, listening to the president give the "evil empire" speech, which would end up being a very defining speech for the next 14 years really. >> afghanistan's terrorist training camps, save the people from starvation and free the country from brutal oppression. >> what does victory feel like? it felt like we had done our jobs. i mean as hindsight it was the perfect -- it was the mission we trained for from the time we came into special forces. that was the mission.

>> we had less than 100 guys, we toppled the taliban and ran al qaeda off. and 20,000 troops have been bogged down ever since. >> i think we did make it look too easy. but we didn't really have time to reflect on that before we're invading iraq with the expectation that it would be over quickly. >> what we have found in afghanistan confirms that far from ending there, our war against terror is only beginning. >> so when we chedin lad ouof afghanianstnto pakistan, as far as the commander told us, we had done our job, great job. we all but tied the bow on afghanistan at the time. that same team, group of guys

went to iraq. and in less than 90 days we thought iraq was over there too. >> yeah. >> we were having tea in baghdad. >> literally. >> eating in a restaurant. >> you're welcome. >> here's your country. >> nine months later you come home again and you've got a new mission. you just go into vfw and you hear one guy had one tour and you're like, oh, wow. and you hear one guy had two tours. that's crazy. someone had three tours, they're out of their minds. what you see now is people have five, seven, nine, ten tours and they're still going. >> me and scotty -- scotty and i retired the same year. and when i retired, i just went home and i'm going to tell you this, 11 days after i retired i put my wife in the hospital. i don't even know why. i just kind of freaked out. i'm not saying it was ptsd.

i'm not saying it was anything. i don't even really remember what happened. it was just -- it's just like, you know, you go and you do things and you do some really -- stuff that's crazy and then when you're done they just tell you bye. you know? >> i came back from afghanistan again, another deployment over there. this was my 26th deployment total. >> i forgot to get some stuff last night. >> how long have i known mark? for as long as i can remember. probably since 3 or 4. i've known him for a long time.

i usually know what he's thinking and sometimes he does me. yeah. but -- >> amy has raised our family, you know, being a single working mom the majority of the year. >> i've had some trying times at home but i managed to get through it. and then i yell at him for it later, going, this is what i had to deal with. >> it's just adapting, continuing to evolve and adapt to that new normal. maybe that's part of it, is we keep turning up the heat, go a couple of degrees at a time over 26 deployments and then you're kind of at that new normal. my tolerance level for bullshit

is kind of at its max. and, you know, i -- i'd say that's maybe one thing, just lose some patience with myself or my family. >> when he comes home from deployments, we try to bring everybody here to just be a family, hang out outside. but, yeah, 14 years. kei was born when he was in afghanistan. she's almost 14. >> wait, wait, wait. now. [ gunshot ] >> i keep going back because i want to believe that we made a difference. the ranger creed still in us is readily on display is readily

will i display intestinal fortitude. carry on the objective, though i be the lone survivor, i keep going back. >> i remember in the morning it was like 2:00 in the morning i happened to be just up and i see it on cnn, it goes two special forces soldiers got killed. and i'm just thinking, oh god, i hope they nobody that i know. >> i was 13. yeah. i was at school. they called my name for dismissal, to come to the office to be dismissed. and i went and the person picking me up was someone who i never thought would be picking me up. and we got in the car and we

were driving home, i said, why are you picking me up? and he said, well, your mom just wanted me to come get you, pick you up early. and i remember saying out loud to him, "maybe my dad came home. maybe my dad's coming home today." >> i walked in the door, and that's when i saw the chaplain standing there and i actually saw my mom and my sister crying. and the next day when they said that they dropped the bomb, it hit him, i was angry. i actually hated the military for a little while.

i had to act like i didn't. >> i mean, he wasn't supposed to die. what is it for? what is it for? okay. it's for our country, but what is it for? >> hey, this is a little special rum from guatemala.

that was introduced to me by a good friend. his team worked in guatemala for a year doing a mission. all right. one for the brotherhood. >> legion. >> the legion brothers. ♪ >> hello, cuz. doing all right? good to see you. good to see you. how are you? good to see you. >> she's here, man. >> dude. >> are you excited? >> what do y'all think, man? you ready to give it a try? >> make sure it's in neutral, turn the key on, let her rip.

>> jesse, why don't you sit on it. >> sit on it. >> that way you can balance it. it's not on the stand. okay? put some fuel in that bad boy. [ engine starts ] >> whoo-hoo! >> just hearing the bike, it was almost hearing my dad again. like i'm here. like i'm right here.

♪ >> there are just certain spots around the world where i feel like i can just kind of get lost. just being able to disappear. >> every soldier i ever led in action was wounded or killed. what does that say about me? what does it say about my abilities as a leader? what does it say about me as a soldier?

everybody was off the hill and i walked back up on the hill to where i knew j.d. had been and i just started kind of doing a loop, looking for anything i could. i looked. i couldn't find anything. all that could come to mind for me was this poem "futility" by wilfred owen. theres wi theres wi theres with was all this -- there was this pervasive naivete about what modern war was about. and then the trenches of europe wiped out a generation. move him into the sun.

gently its touch awoke him once, at home, whispering of fields unsewn. always it woke him, even in france, until this morning and this snow. if anything might rouse him down, the kind old sun will know. think how it wakes the seeds. woke once the seeds of this cold star. our limbs so dear achieved, are sides full nerved, too hard to stir. was it for this the clay grew

tall? what made fatuous sun beams toil to break earth's sleep at all. ♪ "zorba the greek" by mikis theodorakis ♪ ♪ the all-new volkswagen tiguan with available pedestrian monitoring. the new king of the concrete jungle.

♪ it's got to be one of those. >> slide next here.

♪ >> you know, what's amazing to me is we're not dead. you know? because they don't put things out like this unless you're dead. >> so there's a difference between a monument and i a memorial. that's why it's a monument and not a memorial. ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ ♪

hollywood's message to harvey weinstein, good-bye and good luck. in northern california, thousands more are evacuated as new fires break out, but a change in weather conditions may help firefighters get the fires under control. and is austria about to swing to the right? voting in the parliamentary election is now under way. it is all ahead here. welcome to our viewers in the united states and around the world. we're live in atlanta. i'm natalie allen. >> i'm cyril vanier. this is "cnn newsroom" from atlanta.