♪ ♪ [ horns honking ] >> anthony: i remember the moment i first realized i'd been living my whole life in black and white. ♪

it was like discovering a color i never knew existed before -- a whole new crayon box full of colors. that was it for me. from then on, there was no putting the pieces back together, no going home. things were different now. asia had ruined me for my old life. ♪ i took a walk through this beautiful world ♪ ♪ felt the cool rain on my shoulder ♪ ♪ found something good in this beautiful world ♪ ♪ i felt the rain getting colder ♪ ♪ sha la la la la sha la la la la la ♪

♪ sha la la la la sha la la la la la la ♪ [ laughter ] >> man: whiskey for farmer! >> anthony: oh, that's good. this guy's trying to kill us. >> andy: they make more than a hundred bottles a day, so 30,000 bottles? >> anthony: that's a lot of whiskey. >> andy: yeah it's a lot of -- that's a lot of uh -- did i -- did i do that right? >> anthony: yeah. >> andy: or have i had too many whiskeys? >> anthony: how did this happen? how did i get here? [ laughter ] coming into focus, the man across the table. he looks familiar. maybe, if i can remember who he is, it'll be a clue as to where i am.

>> man: okay. >> anthony: right. andy -- andy ricker. the white guy who cooks awesome thai food. is it pretty spicy? put that in there. >> anthony: the pok pok in portland. restaurants in new york. andy's made a name for himself faithfully reproducing the cuisine of northern thailand. the good stuff that comes from places like here. rice country. chiang mai province. in this part of the world you live and die by the harvest. thai food is intensely regional, and northern thailand in particular has many distinctive

features. this is a world of fresh, delicious, spicy, meaty, salty, sour, sweet, bitter. often with a "just picked" herby dimension. and always, the most vital thing, giver of life, sticky rice. andy here is constantly back and forth from america to thailand for nearly 25 years now, looking for recipes, techniques, digging deeper and deeper into an amazingly complex and widely misunderstood cuisine. and getting his ass chastised by a few aunties as he goes. >> andy: okay. >> anthony: on this trip, andy's working on a new cookbook, investigating the eating and drinking culture of the region.

which might be why he thought of me and why we're drinking shine for breakfast. where there's food there's also gonna be booze. and likely a lot of it. oh, that's good. >> andy: this is nam prik ong. you make a chili paste with chilies, garlic, shallot, shrimp paste, and tomatoes, and then you mix it with pork. >> farmer: that's for you. okay. >> anthony: oh yeah. oh, the nam prik is awesome. >> andy: isn't it delicious? this rice is grown here in the village. you just kinda make a little spoon-shaped ball with it. >> anthony: now, what's the famous greeting? is it, "have you eaten yet?" or is it "have you had rice?" >> andy: it's both. literally it means, "have you eaten rice yet?" but what it really means is, "how's it going?"

>> anthony: it is assumed that if you haven't eaten yet, things are not going well. if you've eaten, rice is such a fundamental component. >> andy: eating is synonymous with eating rice. to eat a meal without rice would be unthinkable. >> anthony: what makes their whiskey special? [ farmer speaking thai ] >> andy: because of the flavoring that they add to it. >> anthony: conveniently, our host, in addition to having provided us with a fine meal, just so happened to run a distillery out back. >> andy: they use a spice mixture they add to the yeast balls, let it ferment for five days, and then she smashes it with a wood mallet. >> anthony: thai rice whiskey, lao khao, bucket of hooch, whatever you wanna call it -- this stuff is a delightful beverage that tastes better and smoother apparently the more you drink. >> andy: uh-oh, here we go. sneaky, sneaky. >> anthony: oof. well. >> andy: and then, uh, fried fish.

i believe it's called nile tilapia or nile carp. you just salt the hell out of it and then deep fry it. >> anthony: good stuff. >> andy: mmm. >> man: first one, same thing, gasoline, fire. >> anthony: this guy's trying to kill us. >> andy: yeah. >> man: okay, okay. [ andy speaking thai ] >> farmer: for my uncle. >> andy: yes, for your uncle. yes. 69 years old. >> anthony: looking good. >> andy: he drinks half a bottle every day. >> anthony: so it's pretty much the keith richards health and preservation plan. all right, i'm gonna get healthy too. the whiskey, i have to say, is taking hold in some clinically fascinating ways. [ laughter ] >> farmer: funny. [ lauger ] >> andy: lost my -- i lost the

plot. >> anthony: oh, that's okay. it all comes back to me as the world shifts and tilts. oh yeah. and though i've been looking out a whole lot of hotel windows these days, struggling to figure out where i am, being here, throwing back shots of rice whiskey with these guys, i know i'm back in thailand. [ laughter ] not just thailand, but northern thailand. once known as kingdom of a million rice fields, it's a fertile, green and gorgeous area, home of the ancient lanna people. welcome to chiang mai province. tucked up near the borders of burma, china, laos, india not too far away. all of them have left their mark on the food.

>> andy: here's the local hooch. lao khao. >> anthony: and if you're eating here, chances are you're also drinking. >> andy: ugh. compared to the, uh, the stuff we had this morning, this is substantially more harsh, i would say, and less fragrant. >> anthony: the village of mae on, and this place is called him tang. how did you find this place, man? we're in the middle of nowhere. >> andy: it's a very popular place. >> anthony: a restaurant showcasing one of the distinguishing elements of northern thai cuisine -- the heavy use of animal protein. >> andy: you see the local people, they're lining up. here in northern thailand, pig reigns supreme. so most of the stuff we're eating here is made out of pig. >> anthony: okay, so what did you order? >> andy: grilled pig tail. >> anthony: that sounds superb. yep.

>> andy: and then we ordered some sai oua -- northern thai herbal pork sausage. >> anthony: oh yeah, i'm on that. >> andy: brain. some pig's brain. >> anthony: yeah, i'm -- i'm not a big brain fan. i just -- that custardy sort of texture, coupled with a sort of nutty taste, frankly i'd sooner rather grab a big handful of nut sack, so to speak. >> andy: it's mixed with a curry paste and some herbs and stuff, thrown into a banana leaf and then grilled. it's like eating scrambled eggs. you'll love it. and then we ordered luu -- raw blood soup. >> anthony: raw. what do you mean? they don't cook it in the -- >> andy: they do not cook the blood. >> anthony: but they put it into a hot soup. >> andy: no. this is raw blood. >> anthony: really? >> andy: there's two kinds that

you can get here. one is the addition of ki ong, which means young shit. so it's basically the partially digested juice that's made from when a cow eats grass. shit juice. it's not -- it's not on the menu for me. >> anthony: aw geez. oh no. >> andy: exactly, yeah. i did not order that. we're not having that. >> anthony: okay. we're not having that. >> andy: we're not having that. >> anthony: okay. i'm thinking we'll stick to the plain blood soup. thank you very much. >> andy: and the way that they make it is they take the raw blood and they scrunch it with lemongrass for a long time. because that kind of kills the gamey flavor of the blood, helps with coagulation, and adds flavor. and then they actually make a chopped laap -- the minced meat salad that's raw. and that goes in. a whole bunch of deep-fried kherung ni, or innards.

>> andy: here it is. luu. >> anthony: you're not kidding. that really -- that's like a horribly -- it's like "csi" soup. i'm eating out of an open wound. actually that's completely delicious. >> andy: utterly delicious. and it makes you look like a vampire. it's quite spicy. you can taste the chilies. doesn't really taste like blood. it just kinda tastes sweet and rich. let's see if we can change your mind about brains. >> anthony: delicious. i'm not lying. >> andy: this is delicious. >> anthony: anyone would just completely love this. >> andy: if you eat too much of it you'll go blind. that's what they think. >> anthony: yeah, they said that about -- off, and i'm still here. >> andy: it has to do with parasites and all kinds of things. >> anthony: what? huh? >> andy: can i tell you some stories about this?

>> anthony: whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. back up there, buckaroo. parasites? >> andy: yeah, we've got -- about two or three years ago, a whole family in nan province, all seven of them died. >> anthony: oh that's really -- you know, you probably should have told me that during the appetizer course, okay? honestly, best meal i've ever had in thailand. ever. >> andy: i'm super happy to hear that. >> anthony: i'd eat it out of chris christie's jock strap on a hot summer day. this is cnn. >> andy: oh, god. covering virtually every part of your manufacturing business. & so this won't happen. because you've made sure this sensor and this machine are integrated. & she can talk to him, & yes... atta, boy. some people assign genders to machines. and you can be sure you won't have any problems. except for the daily theft of your danish. not cool! at&t provides edge to edge intelligence. it can do so much for your business, the list goes on and on. that's the power of &. & this shipment will be delivered... [ drum roll ]

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♪ >> anthony: in chiang mai you can move in and out. from the quiet green of the countryside to, just a few miles away, the madness and chaos of chiang mai city, second largest in thailand. spirituality, reflection, the serene beauty of the rice patty, village life, maybe next episode, farang. this time, it's all about consuming medically inadvisable amounts of food and drink. if thailand is one of the best countries to eat in, then chiang mai is a particularly good city to find yourself hungry. oh, that's the frog. >> andy: that's the frog.

it's basically taking that frog, grill him first, hack it up, fry the living bollocks out of it with garlic. >> anthony: mm. you know, there's almost an inverse relationship, like the more hideous-looking the dish, the more delicious it is. as you probably noticed by now, the food here is not pad thai or green curry chicken. there are complex layers of flavor, sophisticated balances, spicy, sour, a little bitter, salty, herby. color and texture are important. crispy, soft, cold, hot. it's exactly this interplay between elements that makes northern thai food so thrilling and so addictive.

>> andy: this place is called laap kao cham cha. laap is the dish that they're known for, which is the minced meat salad. >> anthony: now what's that furry material there? >> andy: that's one of the many stomachs of the cow. it might be the third stomach. mm. it's bitter. it means it has just a little bit of the bile. the gentleman over there, uncle, he's the laap master. they win laap competitions. >> anthony: oh yeah? >> andy: they're killing it. they're supporting the whole damn family. the woman who just took our order, her family and her husband, who's the guy who's the cashier, the uncles, the aunties, when it gets really busy, the rest of the family comes and helps. >> anthony: you famously said that you hate the word "authentic". what does that word mean? >> andy: depends on the context. if you're in the united states and you say a traditional, authentic thai restaurant, to me that has come to mean a standard

thai restaurant in america. that menu. when you come here, authentic is, if you're the daughter of the woman who made this, then to you this is the most authentic version of that dish. if you're from nan provence, you still make laap but it doesn't taste like this, a little bit different. >> anthony: this laap is amazing. friday night in chiang mai comes alive. >> man: thailand, we will come. we love you. >> anthony: andy has promised a compressed eating and drinking grand tour of the city, a bounce by tuk tuk from one place to the other until we simply can't take it no more. next stop? it ain't flavor town. it's some place beyond that, man. way beyond. >> man #2: welcome to thailand and happy stay here in chiang mai. >> anthony: on your mark, get

set, go. cheers. this may surprise you, but i am not an alcoholic. i don't drink at home ever. there's no beer in my fridge. if i'm not workin' i'm not hangin' out in bars, but if i was an alcoholic and i did hang in bars, i'd hang here. >> andy: some karaoke maybe? >> anthony: even though the very mention of karaoke makes my blood run cold with fear. [ singing ] [ scattered applause ] >> anthony: you ordered french fries? >> andy: yes, i did. >> anthony: apparently it's an indigenous specialty. >> andy: in thailand, "fen fy" is probably one of the most popular "men-u" items. they always have food to eat when you drink. >> anthony: what is this whiskey we're drinking by the way? i haven't really paid attention. >> andy: this whiskey we're drinking here is actually rum.

♪ [ joe singing in thai ] >> anthony: this guy's good. >> andy: that's one of the great things about a place like this -- you'll never have to fill your own glass. [ joe singing in thai ] >> anthony: "that could be me someday," i'm thinkin'. things go just a little wrong, i go off the rails, this would be all too attractive.

could well see myself singing "happy birthday" in german to tourists at a hotel bar in jakarta or bangkok. enjoy my "fen fy". this is a fantastic discovery. this is gonna stick in my head now, this song. ♪ for all the noses that stuff up around daisies. for all the eyes that get itchy and watery near pugs. for all the people who sneeze around dust. there's flonase sensimist allergy relief. it relieves all your worst symptoms including nasal congestion, which most pills don't. it's more complete allergy relief. and all from a gentle mist you can barely feel. flonase sensimist helps block 6 key inflammatory substances. most pills only block one. and 6 is greater than 1. flonase sensimist.

♪ ♪ oh -- you're bad enough to me ♪ ♪ bad enough that we ♪ always have something to get over ♪ ♪ oh -- but when the night is deep ♪ ♪ you find me in the streets ♪ asking me - to come over ♪

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♪ >> anthony: chiang mai at night, and we are well on our way. to where, to what, i don't know, i don't much care.

[ woman speaking thai ] >> anthony: but i do know it's time to eat. in thailand it's almost always a time to eat, oh yes, and drink. we shall be doing that too. >> andy: the inevitable ice in beer. the way to drink beer in southeast asia. >> anthony: beer you say? oh all right, in the interest of research, of course. >> andy: you got beer, you got booze, you got ice. you got some grilled meat. >> anthony: snackage? yes. i would like snacks. >> andy: they've got pork chin and intestines. you got a spicy dipping sauce. ah, this is a chinese liquor. >> anthony: all right. >> andy: oh. >> anthony: it tastes like boner medicine. >> andy: yes, it also tastes like a -- a dirty sack.

>> anthony: when did you come to thailand first? >> andy: i believe it was 1987. and i came as a backpacker. it was all about, you know, smoking dope on the beach, eating mushrooms, chasing girls, and drinking beer. i had a three-month ticket and i ended up staying away for four years. here we go. >> anthony: oh man. so what was the dish? there's a dish in every traveler's life where they just said, "okay, you know, my previous life is not gonna be enough for me anymore, you know?" >> andy: it was a particular mushroom. they make soup out of it. it was unlike anything i'd ever had in my life. >> anthony: when i first came out to this part of the world, and those -- noodles. i mean, i knew right then -- i mean, i'm not joking. it wasn't the girls. it wasn't the beaches. the noodles, the greasy bottle of fish sauce, and the smell. it's this terrible moment where

you realize, i can't share this. that's it. >> andy: in about five seconds we're gonna go past a woman who has a cowboy hat on. >> anthony: the lady with the hat stands out among the dozens of street vendors across from the old city's north gate. >> andy: the best khao kha moo, or stewed pork leg, in the city, potentially none finer in thailand. >> anthony: yeah, are we goin' -- are we doin' that still? >> andy: well -- >> anthony: for years, she's been serving this -- khao kha moo, slowly stewed pork. >> andy: she cooks it in a master sauce. you know, the chinese master sauce where you cook it in the same thing, it probably goes back at least a generation. >> anthony: it's like sherry, there's a little bit of the original batch still in there. >> andy: exactly. >> anthony: she's hacking red meat all day. and there's like not a drop on the -- the frilly. >> andy: on the ruffley --

this is the sauce that goes with it. it's kinda like a sour chili sauce. and then you gotta have some of these pickled mustard greens too, pak dong. >> anthony: that's really tasty. >> andy: this place is famous as hell. like half the people here are tourists, probably chinese tourists. >> anthony: let's do it. >> andy: you want to stick your feet in some fish water? >> anthony: eh -- no. >> andy: no. >> anthony: all right, let's go, guys. i need to stop at a sports bar. i need some chicken wings, i need some like, uh, fried mozzarella sticks. i need to go to a gun range. more beer, more food. >> andy: if you go on the sidewalk it'll take us like 10 minutes to get 50 feet.

kind of stay to your right and don't get killed. >> ahony: what was i saying? oh yes, beer loves crispy. beer loves salty. beer loves fatty. spicy, salty, fried together? happiness. [ waitress speaking thai ] >> andy: oh okay. no beer. >> anthony: okay, what are they drinking? >> andy: uh, they're drinking water. >> anthony: clear, kidney-cleaning water. so good and so important to a healthy lifestyle. i'd imagine. midnight nam prik moon. that's what you do after you've had a few drinks. maybe a lot of drinks, because what you need -- maybe you didn't know you needed it, but you do -- is nam prik. thai chili dip. >> andy: yeah. nam prik is what the vast majority of thai people who live

in america who come to thailand to visit who go back ended up getting busted at the airport for trying to bring in. >> anthony: we get two kinds. nam prik ta dang. >> andy: it's a combination of chilies, garlic, shrimp paste, dried fish. >> anthony: and this -- >> andy: colloquially known as midnight nam prik num. >> anthony: made from roasted green chilies. accompanied by god's preferred delivery system for beer-friendly goodness. >> andy: ooh. >> anthony: yeah. >> andy: yeah. >> anthony: yum on that. a whole bunch of deep fried little salty, meaty, delicious things, yes please. uh-huh. >> andy: oh -- me. and kai toon. >> anthony: yes. and oh yes, something i've loved from the first mouthful i ever had right here in chiang mai all those years ago -- thai pork sausage.

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>> anthony: okay, come to me, my love, right now. you big, nasty, unfamiliar semi-coquette. oh, it's so good. i would throat your body isn't a temple, it's an amusement park, enjoy the ride. but that was before i had a daughter and a respectable job at cnn. so when that little voice in my head said, "call it a night, quit while you're ahead", i probably should have listened. wait, where did we leave off? oh yes, now i remember. bouncing to one bar after another. >> andy: we're going that way. >> anthony: which way? >> andy: that way. >> anthony: okay, good. andy and i have clearly tuk-tuked our way well beyond the threshold of acceptable conduct. but do we call it a night, quit while we're ahead? no. >> andy: we're gonna head over to see the time-honored tradition -- >> ladies and gentelmen -- >> andy: -- of the ladyboy cabaret. >> anthony: yeah, let's do that.

[ cheers ] all right, here it is. ♪ ladyboys, as they are known in thailand, have led to many an embarrassing moment to the amorous cowboy too buzzed to notice or care much about the details. >> andy: my first experience with this kind of an atmosphere in thailand happened in koh pha ngan in 1987. i met this girl and i was like stoked because it was like, "oh, she's into me." and, like, at some point she sat on my lap, and she's like, "oh, well i have to go now. i have to go do something." and she gave me a kiss, and i was like, "i'm in." and the show started.

♪ you can forgive a guy for making a mistake. >> anthony: totally. many ladyboys, frankly, are pretty spectacular looking, especially the ones who have breasteses. you know, the women are harshin' the buzz. this should be a guy thing. >> andy: absolutely. they should have a sports bar. >> anthony: actually, that's a -- brilliant idea. >> andy: we should bring that to new york. >> anthony: okay. if we had a ladyboy show in a sports bar, you're gonna watch football, drink a lot of beer, at around beer number eight bring out the ladyboys. just my luck. at a show like this, what

happens. what she says. i end up kissing the one ladyboy in thailand who looks like ernest borgnine straight on the lips. of course i am completely oblivious to the dayglo white lipstick all over my face. out of context, photos of me here tonight end up on the internet, this could look bad. ♪ awesome show. ♪ [ cheers ] ♪

[ cheers ] >> anthony: oh, right. ♪ tongue? totally going home alone by the way. i just wanna make sure that's established in the continuity. in spite of all evidence to the contrary. shrimp fans - this one's for you.

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♪ >> anthony: snacks? >> andy: snacks. let's go eat. >> anthony: this train has long ago come off the rails. one bar after another, it's time andy and i head to an appropriate follow up to a night like we've had. more food, quickly. this has become an emergency situation. [ horn honks ]

there it is. drunken noodles, dude. >> andy: pad ki mao is actually not a noodle dish, it's something served with rice. >> anthony: how can you have drunken noodles with no noodles? this is what we need, whatever it is. >> andy: it's something devised for drunken people to eat. >> anthony: well, that's us. something to sop up the roiling tide of lao khao sloshing around in my stomach, and i need to sober up in case ernest borgnine calls. she said she'd call. i feel so used. >> andy: in the north, they love to eat pork here. look at all the damn chilies. there's a lot of chilies here. we got these fresh red ones. we've got these green ones that were sliced and stir fried in there, and we've got small green peppers. >> andy: whoa, that's hot. ooh. i breathed in and got hit with

the chili. >> anthony: yeah. >> andy: down the sides of the throat. >> anthony: yeah, you know when you really hit like super hot, like when you feel like you're having a brain hemorrhage? it's like an ice cream headache, but it's like a pepper headache. >> andy: yeah, and your vision starts to tunnel out. >> anthony: you're halfway through and you're aware that your hair has just burst into flames. that perfect balance of pain and pleasure and more pain. brain flooding with endorphins and all is well with the world. until tomorrow morning. whoo. [ belching ] so, do -- i've had a couple cocktails. i think we should like totally get, like, tattooed tomorrow, man. >> andy: magic tattoos. [ laughter ] >> anthony: time for bed.

♪

♪ >> anthony: so i woke up in a state of confusion and deep concern after inadvertently making out with ernest borgnine last night. i have spiraled into some identity crisis. inadvertently making out with ernest borgnine, i'd like to say, um, it was very traumatic. i need to go to a strip club and watch a football game, mow the lawn and barbecue all at the same time. i'm on somebody else's lawn. and i don't mean that in a figurative way. i can't talk. it hurts to talk.

oh. you know, if every region has sort of an iconic dish, you're talking northern thailand, chiang mai, this is it. hearty broth of curry, coconut, noodles, and spices. i am all over that. oh yeah. mm. i need some more onions. the boys at the bar tonight are gonna be in for a surprise if they move in for a smooch. goddamn that's good. i'm a big believer in a healthy, nutritious breakfast. it's the most important meal of the day. my doctor said that. of course he also said that just about everything i love and hold dear is killing me, so what does he know. attention, hippies. this is a salad. green papaya salad, that's not really a local thing, that's a -- thing but couldn't resist. spicy papaya salad, some khao soi, now i gotta find a catholic church. bless me father for i have sinned. i kissed a man on the mouth. oh, it burns like the fires of

hell. burn away sin. burn away. ehind. but there's a place that doesn't come with that compromise. a place designed to help you be your best. welcome to westin. where you're given a choice not just to get up ♪ but to rise. ♪

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last lap. stagger across the finish line. [ cat meows ] >> andy: meow. >> anthony: andy's favorite spot in chiang mai -- a family-run restaurant named auntie daeng's hammered meat. and the jokes pretty much write themselves, folks. >> andy: no, every year. every year. >> anthony: andy's been coming here forever, since it was only auntie daeng's lightly slapped meat. he's practically family. >> andy: mmm.

>> anthony: hammered meat, here anyway, is beef or pork that's been charcoal-grilled, then pulverized into ropy threads to give it a distinctive texture, then served with a spicy chili and galangal dip. >> andy: so i guess, um, i've been accepted by the family. and i'll be living in the house here next door. and, uh, my job is going to be to smash beef with a hammer every night, probably for the rest of my life. [ andy speaking thai ] >> anthony: this woman has expectations, dude. >> andy: i'm -- i'm in deep, deep trouble. it's pretty obvious. >> anthony: why don't they pound it before they cook it? >> andy: it wouldn't look like that if they pounded it before they cooked it. >> anthony: right. >> andy: right -- the whole

idea -- >> anthony: i'm not gonna question a classic. mm. oh, that's good. >> andy: chewy. chewy, still chewy. still chewing. that's delicious. >> anthony: and because andy is a v.i.p. and potential future son-in-law, dad, sporting his 40 amulets for protection, brings out the chef's special -- a bitter soup with buffalo tendon, spiked with bile. that doesn't sound good. man, this is addictive right away. >> andy: deep and dark and herbaceous. you getting some of that heat? yeah. >> anthony: you know we talked about, once you experience some of the sensory pleasures of the east, your previous life just isn't adequate? um, anymore. ♪

when the journey's coming to an end, when the movie's over, what's left to do? oh yes, wrap things up. i think we've learned something here today in chiang mai. i can't summon exactly what that might be right now. you know i was thinking about this whole mohammad said, you know, "don't tell me what a man knows or what he says. tell me where he's traveled." you learn stuff. maybe it's to remember to bring something to remove makeup before hitting the cabarets. >> andy: like the first time that i spent a long period of time in thailand, that sort of brightness, the spiciness, the simple elements making kind of this bright explosion of flavors -- i got back home, i immediately wished i could be back in thailand. >> anthony: or maybe you just say screw it and have a good time.

it's quite a beautiful piece. thank you so much. [ chanting in thai ] ♪

>> anthony: spotless, efficient, safe, protected, controlled. a utopian city-state run like a multinational company. welcome to singapore, incorporated.