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tv   United Shades of America  CNN  May 19, 2019 8:00pm-9:00pm PDT

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and if you think you are free, you drive down to mississippi and you'll see what i'm talking about. historians like to divide americans into eras. revolutionary war era, roaring '20s era, the 1920s chicago bulls era. i grew up during an era. the vietnam war museum. every third movie was a vietnam war. because america wanted to figure out the best frame of war we had lost. the dominant culture goes with the respective that serves it best. for example, the earth superman is a hero, the dude that got in the neighborhood when things got
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rough. >> so this week we will talk about the vietnam war, but we are doing it from the perspective of the hmong people. if you don't know who the hmong people are, there is a reason for that. >> at a time america didn't acknowledge the role it was a secret war. >> tonight the secret out. my name is w.kamao bell. the story of the hmong people is
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incredibly complicated and announced and challenges the way we talk about immigrants, refugees and patriots. the hmong were the people worn recruited to fight the laotian and the u.s. military and cia-backed secret war. the fact that it's called a secret war tells you the people in charge didn't want nobody talking about it. remember, this is recent u.s. history. many of the people that fought and lived in the secret war are alive. we will talk to a few of them. their stories, culture and trauma live on to their children. we are going to talk to you. for a one-stop shop, i'm headed to twin cities, minnesota, one of the largest hmong cities in america. it's the last day of the hmong new year's celebration. see if you can spot me. and this is professor li pa chong. he is director of the accordia university in st. paul n. 2000, he was appointed to serve on president clinton's advisory commission on asian american and pacific islanders. >> that put him in the history
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books, because it made him the first hmong presidential appointee in the nation's history. >> i have to up front admit my ignorance to the entire hamong culture. you know what i mean. >> i was telling people if you are buying flowers in seattle, they are grown by hmong growers. if you eat strawberries in the winter month, you are eating hamong strawberries, they're dominating 70% of the market. people don't know. today is the hmong new year's celebration. usually in laos, it's after harvesting. it's an opportunity for people to come together and young people to find me. >> really? >> you will see people in a courtship game. >> also speed dating. >> absolutely. speed dating. >> there is a part of our story. we came here. ball toss. >> is there a ball toss app?
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>> there is no tinder. >> on the surface it looks like any heritage festival. food, clothes, a smattering of white people. i realize this takes on a much more significance for the hmong. they have to keep it going. seep. they have no home country to return to. this festival is like a tribute to the motherland. >> these are wearing the old traditional clothing. all the new ones are from thailand and china and laos, the countries we love. it's all mixed up. >> i know there has been an eraser of history. >> about 5,000 years ago, there were only three king comes in what we call now china. there were a lot of persecution. one-third of the hmong were in the northern part of the land. >> by 1947, the hmong were officially recognized as citizens of laos in part helping fight the japanese in world war
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ii. by the time the japanese lost their war, they were those that sided with the hmong and sided with the communists. >> and the americans came, right? >> eventually. eventually the americans. >> is there fighting here? we should go. you know, so if you look at the vietnam war, there is no coverage about the hmong. it's the whole war and laos is called the secret war of laos. it was the key to the whole war in southeast isiah. the country of laos fall then the region would fall to communism. >> if you recall students, this is the points in u.s. history where communism was a dirty word that made us want to fight. ah, the gold ol days. >> if they succeeded the entire region of southeast asia would be in mortal danger. >> the u.s. government's fear of the so-called communist threat to take over the world prompted the cia to recruit the hmong in laos. they started with general ben
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powell. why would the general agree to do this you ask? he saw this as an easy decision in an interview in 1976. i lie with the u.s. because they were the most powerful war at the time. i assume winning the vietnam war would be no problem. uh-o. >> so the hmong were soldiers of the american forces in laos. >> not in official capacity. >> no, that would violate the geneva conference to say no american troops should be in laos. >> for over a decade, general hmong soldiers faced the same battle lines they had in 1962. in doing so, the hmong soldiers fought for our country br they set foot in it and set soldiers against the americans in the south. >> we were there, you know, so we were addressing the american pilots shot down, sabotaging the supply route and engaging in north vietnamese combat. they won't go down south to fight among the americans. the hmong were credited with saving over 50,000 american lives in south vietnam.
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because we fought against north vietnamese battalions, so my grandpa, he was colonel, he lost men rescuing pilots. >> 3700 hmong soldiers were killed. the communists in laos and the united states accepted and the u.s. pulled out of the war leaving thousands of hmong behind to quite literally fend for themselves. naturally, the general was happy with what they have done. it vowed to fight down every hmong people and that meant figuring a way to get to the united states, a country many of their people had died for. >> general powell fought for the americans. but his troops and people were abandoned after 1975. >> they were left behind. >> we were left behind and three planes only came to evacuate us. my family was on that plane. there were only three days of evacuation, only 2,000. or so families got out. the rest had to find their way into the reasonable camp. so we lost 30,000 people during the war. another 50,000 people lost their lives trying to escape the communism after 1975 into thailand and so, united states of america, create a program for many to come to america and from there on, it's just history. >> 5,000 years history. >> in five minutes. >> absolutely. >> also by the american government. >> i think there has been some past presidents. >> oh.
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>> all right. >> happy new year. >> so congress passed resolutions to basically announce contributions among people. another 50,000 people lost their lives trying to escape the communism after 1975 into thailand and so, united states of america, create a program for many to come to america and from there on, it's just history. >> 5,000 years history. >> in five minutes. >> absolutely. >> also by the american government. >> i think there has been some past presidents.
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>> oh. >> all right. >> happy new year. >> so congress passed resolutions to basically announce contributions among people. i think deep down many of the people still feel like winning the country to call it home. we have 70,000 here. let's say we have over 10 million young people. some countries have fewer than 10 million people. we couldn't have a country. >> how is it that the sabotaging invest in minneapolis? >> the first settled in minnesota in 1975. they basic ally told them to bring more. >> was there any experience of you know racism or? >> you know, back then, when we came here, people were accusing us of eating their dogs, their cats. i have been pushed down the stairs, called all kind of names, spit on, told to go home or all that i don't know if that
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racism or lack of understanding of who we are. >> i think it's a lack of understanding. but there is different ways to have a lack of understanding. >> i don't know who you are. i should find out. i don't know who you are. get him! it's like. >> i think america just because we set it up in such a way that like whoever the dominance group is gets to define who an american is. >> we all came from somewhere else. we want to same quality of life that you experience. you want the same opportunities that you've had and so we just need to you know break down those barriers. break down the stereotype. we are americans. drama queen with serious root issues. she sees a bit of gray and thinks... (screams) luckily, there's magic root cover up from l'oreal.
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once the american military pulled out of vietnam, for the united states, the par was effectively over, for the hmong, a people that turned on their own government, a if you fight had begun. a fight to survive. the laotian government set on the task to save the hamong, many went to the u.s. and thailand eventually some ended up in the most unlikely place they could have imagined, minnesota, if you think i made that sound too easy, i certainly understand. so i'm going to sit down and eat at the hmong marketplace in st. paul. this is the owner. boy, he's got a story to tell. >> that's why we sit down, so it will be more like a regular human size. >> we are going to be eating some muscles. >> there is an unbelievable amount of food here, to hamong i'll pulled pork with vegetables to something call egg rolls and much, much more, including papaya salad. remember that for later.
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>> pig intestines? first time. >> it's not bad. >> i know it's something like hitlynnes, i've never had them. >> there is the intestine, itself. >> juice came out when you squeezed it. so which one should i start with? >> anyone. >> all right. >> there you go. >> and this is chicken. >> bird. quayle. >> okay. >> i'm used to feeling it in the jungle. >> oh, wow. >> when i was 7, an american withdrew from south vietnam. they withdrew from laos. they left us behind and our
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fathers took us in the jungle. >> with your family? >> oh, yeah. >> thousands of people were in the jungle. >> thousands. >> that was the only day i kept shooting. >> okay. >> four years. >> you don't waste nothing. you eat the bone in this is the bone? >> that's the bone. >> all right. i will go for it. >> i learn hard. >> surviving by your wits. >> four years in the jungle. we decided to escape the jungle to thailand. we walked for 45 minutes. >> 45 days? >> i came, my youngest brother on my back. we poison my youngest brother quite a few times. >> poison him? >> oh, yeah. >> how? because in the jungle you could pass through military camp. >> yeah. >> they would shoot you. so, you give them some opium and you put them to sleep. you don't kill them. you put them to sleep. because they may cry.
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they get hungry and cry and they hear you and shoot. >> you like anesthesia. put them under. so they wouldn't cry? >> yes, up in the ready in the river, we make the family learn. one whole day. >> in one day. >> i this i it took us about four hours. >> four hours. >> to get to the other part. >> so two is being pretty nonchalant about this. maybe because his story isn't much different. including the opium part. not only is the mekong river hard to cross, soldiers were ordered to shoot many hmong. for some, with understand they crossed, they were captured by thai soldiers and they went to refugee camps, not welcoming or safe, it would be unimaginable if our government wasn't doing something similar right now. >> 40, 50,000 people refugee camp.
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a couple thousand acres, barbed wire all around the camp. we're in the reasonable camp, how come we have more people in thai kids are free. how come we hmong kids are in the camp? then i was about 16. my girlfriend was about 15 or 14 i married her. >> wow! after seven years in the camp, tua, his wife and two children resettled in the u.s. in 1976. >> that same year the united states began to publicly acknowledge what happened to the hmong people, which left about 90,000 send into the u.s. that year for all they had done for our country and endured because of it. did you feel the people of st. paul have been very accepting? >> back then, my gosh. >> what happened back then? >> some people told me to go back to your country. >> that's not an option. >> i don't have a country. so i put myself in college. >> oh, good. >> i told them i finished high school.
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>> but you had graduated from thai high school? >> no. >> i won't tell anybody so about two years, ten months later, i got my bachelors. >> you got a four-year degree my dream is to work, get money. my gosh, they were super beautiful and i went to look for side jobs. i found a seminar, he teaches people how to buy property or no money down and they got cash and clothing. >> it's the best mo into buy if real estate. >> thanks. >> two years later i have a two high jin jennists remember we were buying property in our 20s. we quickly learn to do your plumbing, painting. >> you never knew? >> just learned. >> the same way you learned the killed the birds. >> i had a dream of making more people stuff, my greating from place to place. >> hmong marketplace employs over 600 americans, including his kids. >> flood to meet you. >> as well as his wife and her not feel so bad. who helped me
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>> she said, i'm hmong. i'm what is that? i never heard of hmong people. i texted my brother back home in hawaii. hey, can you look up hmong people for me? >> but at some point, he realized he wasn't as excited about raising soft american kids. >> how do i raise my american kids to be as i am? >> yeah. >> the only way is to take them to the jungle there is no more jung to him take them to i bought an air fair ticket to thiechltd i said you guys can stay, i'm going home. >> what! >> we entered the school called assumption university. dad goes, hey, this is your school from now on. then, all of a sudden, everything is silenced, you can hear the bells go ding. ding. >> so you were enrolled in college without your knowledge? >> yep. >> what was your reaction?
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>> like, what's happening? >> what did you think your plan was going to be? >> i thought i was going to pull around. >> i see what happened. i see what happened. he didn't have a plan. he's like, let me step in here and create a plan for you. >> after i graduated college, i came here, because we're creating jobs for hmong people.
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we accomplished our mission. >> i got what i want. >> so how much sleep do you get a night? >> we go to bed and take the boys to work. >> do you take naps during the day? >> oh, yeah. >> sometimes. >> oh, so he's a person, he's in his chair working, is that what it is? >> i sit like that, so nobody see me. you wouldn't accept an incomplete job from any one else. why accept it from your allergy pills? flonase relieves your worst symptoms including nasal congestion, which most pills don't. flonase helps block 6 key inflammatory substances.
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listen to your mom, knuckleheads. hand em over. hand what over? video games, whatever you got. let's go. you can watch videos of people playing video games in the morning. is that everything? i can see who's online. i'm gonna sweep the sofa fort. well, look what i found. take control of your wifi with xfinity xfi. let's roll! now that's simple, easy, awesome. xfinity xfi gives you the speed, coverage and control you need. manage your wifi network from anywhere when you download the xfi app today. while tua and his family are building a real estate empire to create more space for the community, other members are
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using the arts to carve out more space. remember earlier we talked about papaya salad, that's about to pay off. >> le papaya salad is like anal sex. >> you don't have to make uncomfortable eye contact with me. >> it's like making out with no fondling, it's like nasty, raunchy sex complete with fists and sweat it's not like the experience to experience southeast asian food. it requires preparation. >> there is a lot more there. make sure to watch it online. >> you will needle to rance, lots of it. >> thank you. >> mi li yang is an award winning playwrite she and her friends are creating theater pieces to examine history and culture. >> we don't have a theater. in 1994, among their computers were birds. >> children are expected to
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achieve academic and professional success. so i'm wondering if your families were like, great, the arts. >> i think it was different because we're former refugees and our parents lost so much during war we came here empty handed. so it was important to just exist. however you can exist. >> and somebody who has worked in a lot of theaters like this who came through theaters like this what's the foley? >> representation does matter. i don't want to say that as a cool catch phrase.
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>> but it does when i was growing up, i grew up pop culture, basically every time you saw an asian woman, she was a prostitute, killed. >> wow. >> she didn't speak english. by the time i was 18, i was like, this sucks, i'm over it. i think art making has been living in my skin unapologetically. >> also, we wanted to speak about ours a lot. we want people to pay see us. we think we're funny. >> i have a similar lifeline. if you recall, the hmong had worked together, years later the divide is real. >> we have so many things in common. we have a shared history. >> we wrote a play where lao-hmong. >> it makes a difference.
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>> my people will find it funny. >> we want people to come into the room together and laugh at the same things and understand that and see us as example of something that went right. >> right. right. >> i mean honestly, being a child of refugee itself, it's incredibly empowering and privileged platform to have to be perfectly honest. it feels good when people come up to you and say, wow, i never seen my story reflected. >> people say thank you for talking about your father being in a lor camp. my father doesn't talk about that it's been hurting me. i want to know. >> it's been over 40 years this war story is a huge part of our narratives. it totally changed our histories. my dad always had a dream of going back to laos. you know, people because of the war we can't go. >> some laotian people see them as co-conspirators. for the people born in laos and
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fighting in the war. going home means risking your freedom and possibly your life. >> people died. and they can't sell their story. >> right. >> i think there is sense of responsibility to see it doesn't get forgotten. >> people will say hmong people are nomadic. we got ticked out of every country we were in.icked out of country we were ikicked out of country we were in. >> you were evicted. >> black people we were evicted from africa. my digestive system used to make me feel sluggish but now, i take metamucil every day. it traps and removes the waste that weighs me down, so i feel lighter.
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how far would you go for a togo? i'm not the only black person in the twin cities taking notes how hmong people do it. >> the refugees that come here. they have their collective mindset already. especially the second or third generation. so they don't have to depend on these white folks for anything. they depend on themselves. i say specifically in the hmong community, they get it. they understand it. progress for one, is no progress for everybody.
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>> that's de today's edition of black talk sunday morning on local networks before football starts. now into a-among meeting. this -- on a hmong meeting. this is the way it works. >> a part of the hmong way in 2018, a record five, five is a record, state representative seats were won by the hamong candidates. i'm at golden up to coffee with two reps. so i heard a lot about this clans system. is there a difference between clan politics and politics outside of the clan? >> your relationship with each clan is well. everybody is diverse. if you want to do welcome to a clan system. >> the hmong families are divided into 18 separate groups. here in minnesota, they have the hmong counsel, each clan and representative works with other representatives solve issues in the hmong community. >> the first thing i learned i told my uncle, i am going for office. they said your hmong has to be perfect to consider you support. i want to reach out to the other 17. >> his hmong is good. >> it must be pretty good, he won. >> is there an app? you download it to your phone? >> it has become a core component. the owners were lawyers, doctors. i think where we lack right now is that representation in major politics.
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when i was first approached to run for office, i said no a few times. have you to be told certain times to run for office whereas with a man, you should run, you are right, i should run. >> you know, i'm proud to be the first to be elected but i hope we don't have to say first, right. >> what made you decide to run? >> to be included.
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i think that means a lot. >> i think that pushes us, to be at the forefront and make our voices heard. >> you should represent different generations. >> i am 28th. >> 24. >> i will let you guess. >> 29. >> all right. >> i'm probably closer to your generation. i'm like 30. >> plus or minus. >> if there is one thing you'd like them to know what is that one thing? >> the secret war is the root of like our identity.
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whether or not you fought in the war, all of us have been impacted by the war in one way or another. >> as a black person in america, i think it's important to have a relationship with the south. it's like our secret war. >> yeah, i like that. from that's where a lot of the secrets come from and a lot of we don't know what happened before that. >> that's like the big bang. >> exactly, it's like everything before that sort of almost, it's parent to know, it almost doesn't exist. that's where it started. yeah. >> my entrance into american politics was i wanted to learn about the underground railroad, because i live in the projects, i thought it would be about the longest tunnel from the south to the forth. when i looked at a train, it was about harriet tubman and her people being displaced, murders. it was the same story of the hmong people, i resonated with her and learned about d. king king and frederick douglas. those helped shape my politics. >> we tell many folks, refugees, our grandparents, they shed
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blood for america before they got to america. >> your allegiance to each other is for liberty and justice. if we can be successful in america, then any reasonable will be successful in america. i think we need to be more opened to allow other refugee, other immigrant come in here. when we come here, nobody stood up for us. to be repeated in the middle east, trump said he wanted to ban muslim. what i did here is i pass a resolution to ban trump. so far it worked. >> good job. >> it was important. there was a lot of muslim american kids in this community. it's important we stand up for them. everybody is worthy. when i think about why i work so hard and i think all of us work so hard for this community is like like love one another, that is something you not only apply within our own community, but
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the h hmong spent much of here history as farmers in vietnam and laos. i'm not trying to start a fight here. they're credited as the first to cultivate rice in asia. once they arrived in minnesota, the snow didn't slow down as well. they make up more than 50% of all farmers in those markets. >> farmer is in our dna. when we meet a person that doesn't have a green thumb. it's like what's wrong with you? since it's winter, she grabbed canned fruit from the farm and is teaching me to make some jam. >> i was told apples and bananas are your favorites. >> we have a dossier team. he only eats apples and bananas. i'm a fan of those. >> you want to open this for me?
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>> happy new year. >> what is that, a nice clump of apples in there. we can add raspberries, too. it gets you that gel effect. >> oh. >> two clumps of sugar. >> the same amount i put into coffee in the morning. >> what is that? >> fentanyl. it's the other motherland in the states, right? >> you have to be really well known for olives. they're one of the hardest trees to kill. >> really? >> i only know that because i think it was taylor swift. >> i was going to believe you nul cited you were for taylor swift. i thought you were a farmer, not because you were a swifty. growing up, was there talk about the secret war and what that meant? >> there is a lot of ptsd outspoken.
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>> i can only imagine. >> my dad was recruited as a soldier at 12. >> really? >> imagine his entire teenage years he was in the jungles. you know, my sisters can remember him jerking up awake in the middle of the night and falling out of bed. you know, that's ptsd. >> ptsd, post-traumatic stress disorder can affect people after they experience or witness any number of traumatic events. the symptoms can stick around for a few months or over the course of a lifetime. according to va, it's estimated about 30% of american war vet versus dealt with ptsd. there is a big difference between the american born and hmong who fought for many america. >> the va benefits and everything, hmong people don't get it. >> you are not a part of the va system? >> no. >> that's horrible and not surprising. >> yeah. it was just recently that legislature was passed hmong soldiers can be built in
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military cemeteries. >> really? >> with the dimension of one big important one. arlington, the thing is we were such a huge part of vietnam. our issues, our culture is just as important as everybody else is. >> where do you fit into this? >> my generation, which is like the first generation here. it's about deciding on what traditions to keep and which ones to put away and also what can we instill from our culture that will make american culture better. >> how is my jam here? >> we are just about done here. >> i'm ready. >> all right. >> well, that's good. i look it. the undertone of the raspberry and the overtone of the apple are coming together. so the tartness of the raspberry is really coming through. >> that was some good bull. >> thank you. thank you. >> now a sports story so amazing it makes the run my golden day warriors are on look cute. this is the johnson high school
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girls badminton team. it's wednesday is my maroon day. these young hmong women are among the top badminton players in the state. they have won nine state championships and they're going for the tenth and even though practice looked too intense to interrupt, a couple star players took a break from beating the hell out of that birdie to talk to me. how long have you played badminton? >> six years. >> what do you like? >> smashing. >> tell me what that is. >> within you can kill birdie when it goes straight down. >> it's a scary violent sounding word. smashing is like a spike in volleyball? >> yeah. >> are you both hmong? >> yeah. >> why are there so many hmong girls on the team? >> i guess they are willing to work together more. before we came here, johnson state were champions, it gave a reputation. >> what do you think for hope? >> going for it. >> probably the repeat and
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3-pete. are you going for the 10-pete. all right. it takes a lot of pressure? >> yes. >> yeah, these young ladies are for real. since i'm wearing the team colors, i might as well try it out. she will put me through my paces. >> all right. >> hi. >> here you go. >> what if i find out this is my calling? >> just like this. >> hitting it there, i'm doing the right thing? i'm great at this. >> all right. >> okay. >> now, that's the one that will air on television. maybe not the only one. is that bad?
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♪ >> i'm look forward to this meal. >> oh, yeah. >> hmong food, it's not really about the food. it's actually about the community, like that's what happens when you have a group of people that don't have a lavin their own or a country of their own. regardless of where we are, we have each other. >> yeah. >> tonight i'm lucky guest of the chef at his family's home. he's the co-owner of union kitchen, a capital gains tax and pop-up kitchen that specializes in hmong cuisine. his name literally translates to iron skillet. >> food is the most essential thing for surrival, right? >> mm-hmm. >> and our food actually tells the history ever our people, and if you really want to know our food, you come in and you eat with us, and then it's like now you're part of the family, you know. >> my dad is going to pray real quickly before we eat.
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is that okay? >> sure. >> amen. >> yeah. >> you go first. >> start. >> just start serving yourself. >> we have the lob and lettuce, grab the duck lob here. >> how do you eat it the? >> dealer's choice. any way you want. >> has the has sought and the peanut sauce you pour right over. >> might be a two-plate situation. >> my mom wants you to eat everything. >> challenge accepted. >> these are his mom and dad, pang and neo. they met in a refugee camp in thailand and while he honors his family by celebrating the food of his people his father peter is a u.s. army sergeant with a couple tours of duty in iraq. that's a lot to take home when your dad is an actual war hero.
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>> my dad wants to show you a few of his pictures real quick. >> sure, sure. >> my dad had the pictures to prove that he fought for the u.s. in order to come here because there was a lot of young farmers who didn't fight, and they said, hey, i can just say that i was in the army and thought for americans. >> it's way harder than your average citizenship test. >> who was the first president? >> exactly, yeah, yeah, yeah. >> what was the tree that george washington chopped down? >> yeah. >> he was about 12 when he mind. >> 12,ia. >> 14 when they took that photo of him. >> 14, you look like a man. >> sure. war will do that to you. >> that's your identification to show -- to prove to others, that hey, like i served in the military, but it was also kind of your death warrant, too, because if you were caught with it by the enemy, you could be
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killed. the communists, they don't sigh as a hmong. they identify you as an american. they will kill some americans, you know. >> 16.
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>> so my mom, she lost her husband in the war, so she was a widow. when she met my dad, all his former soldiers, hey, as an officer, he treated us really well. there were a lot of sticky situations they were in and somehow he got them out so that's why my mom was attracted to my dad because he cares a lot about his men. when the war as over, all sorts of men left behind kind of took their family, but my dad, he actually stayed and kind of made sure that all his guys got out with him, so what's interesting is like when we grew up, we would g go to parties and i would bump into one of my dad's old friends and they would say we're here in america because your dad saved us, you know, and because that have sacrifice i then have the ability to dream. and so for me it's always been like how do you -- how do i honor their legacy? >> mm-hmm. >> and i'm not good at math. i'm not good as science, but like i knew how to cook. >> yeah. >> and if somehow through cooking foods that we grew up
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eating intrigued people enough to follow the trail back to like what is behind why you cook why you cook, if all that comes back to their leg circumstances then that's what motivates me. >> and connects to the story. >> and comes back to the story, and as can you tell, like i don't know my dad is so proud of telling you this. he really wants you to know. guess this message out, you know. it's for a greater good, and i think that's the way that my parents have embodied their life. >> yes. ooh, get the message out. i'll do my best, because one thing i know for sure is that this country has not done a good job of listening to the story of the hmong or learning the let sons from the story the hmong and these are compelling stories because there's a lot that we can learn from them. we can learn that immigrant, refugee and patriot don't always mean when you think, that hmong americans embody all three and we finally learn that when the united states intervenes around the world there are real people
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that get caught up and there are real consequences. people deserve more than just our bombs and our guns. they deserve our respect and our help, is and we also know this isn't theoretical because all over the world as i speak the united states is in some country repeating the same mistakes that we made with the secret war over and over again. christopher walked out the door and said, "bye, mom, i love you." >> did set him up to be robbed. i did do that. >> my son was murdered over a bag of heroin. >> i knew right then, this is what my life became. >> i've had my questions. >> how do i tell you your son had to die? >> i don't know if he's accountablye

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