package of the infrastructure bill. the senate will vote on final passage tomorrow morning at 11:00 a.m. that does it for "360." being aoc" starts right now. what's it like to be one of the most famous politicians in america? >> hey, what's up? love you back. >> to be adored and reviled with seemingly equal passion. >> boo! >> you get some of that too. >> and to be known by just three letters, aoc. a strange existence for anyone, let alone a woman who at age 28 catapulted from no-name new york city bartender to well-known member of congress featured on glossy magazine covers

practically overnight. it's all part of be"being aoc." >> good morning. i'm dana bash. tonight is the first in a series of special hours where i spend time with people in the news and try to find out what it's like to be them. we begin with congresswoman alexandria ocasio-cortez. while celebrities sometimes use their stardom to go into politics, she reached fame as a politician. the 31-year-old is outspoken, uncompromising and not just navigating the political world, but trying to change it. all while love her or hate her, everyone is watching. you're now in your second term in the house. you have 12 million twitter followers. 9 million instagram followers. and they all know you by three letters, aoc. so what's it like to be aoc? >> you know, it's an interesting

question because i just feel like i'm me. what i really try to be is to be like my neighbors and to be like the folks at the place i get coffee from. but there's also the surreal parts of the experience. but i don't feel like that's part of me. i feel like it's part of this really weird world that i walked into. >> i can't let you go! she's looking at herself on television right now. how are you feeling? can you put it into words? >> nope. i cannot put this into words. >> this was election night in june of 2018 when she stunned everyone, including herself. beating congressman joe crowley in the new york democratic primarily. crowley was popular and powerful in washington. he was seen as a possible successor to nancy pelosi as speaker of the house. >> you took down a 20-year house

veteran. you go head to head with the leadership of your party, and at your age, a lot of women -- i will put myself into this category when i was your age -- i was trying to fit into the world as it is, not trying to change it. >> yeah. >> where do you get that confidence? >> i think -- well, first of all, i actually don't think it's confidence at all. >> what is it? >> for me, what i find to be animating all of this is a sense of urgency. and so i don't feel confident doing those things. when -- >> so you have days where you doubt yourself? >> every day. every morning when i wake up, i sometimes find myself having to say, okay, like this is why i'm here. this is why i'm doing this. i didn't take on a 20-year incumbent who was poised to be the next speaker of the house because i felt that i was amazing. i did it because i felt that in the time that we have right now where people are struggling to

put food on the table, where they're being paid wages that aren't enough to cover their rent and you're making decisions between your medicine and the food you're going to eat that day, you don't have the time to listen to your elected officials say, we're going to do this in a ten-year plan. it's just not compatible with everyday life. >> let le push back on you a little bit. there are a lot of people who are frustrated and who feel the urgency on whatever issue, whether it's their economic situation or they're worried about the planet or anything in between. but they don't run for congress and they don't get out there and take a leadership role. >> well, i think a lot of that i have to thank my parents for. i was raised with a very strong sense of community and i was raised to say, you know,

whatever you do -- my mom was a domestic worker and she cleaned houses and may dad had a small business. and they said, you always have to make sure that you're caring for others and that your neighbors are okay and we're here to be part of a community. when i ran for office, my initial goal was to say, okay, what would make this is a success to me? and it's not just winning or losing. i felt that when i ran, if at the end of running my community would be more organized and educated and informed, then that's what success was for me. >> the netflix documentary "knock down the house" shows what ocasio-cortez campaign was like back when she was written off as a long shot. in this scene, she's getting ready for her first debate with joe crowley. >> i need to take up space. >> what was that about? >> when i was putting my arms like this, it was, you know, i'm not this. i can be this. i'm not this idea of, oh, you're

just a waitress or you don't have an ivy league pedigree. the way that you take up space is to say, you know what, my experiences actually make me better at my job. i have experiences that colleagues don't have that make me a better legislator. >> have you heard the term imposter syndrome? >> oh, yeah, i talk about it a lot, actually. the first time i sat down in a house committee, i believe my first ever hearing was a house oversight committee. and there are ways that you speak in committee where you are recognized and you yield back to the chair. >> the chair recognizes mrs. ocasio-cortez of new york for five minutes. >> thank you, chair. let's play a game. let's play a lightning round game. >> i felt there was no handbook for this. and i just had to kind of look

around and pick up queues and you absolutely can feel imposter syndrome and a lot of people come into politics very much groomed for it. they come from multigenerational political families or they come from really elite schooling. and so when you walk into that, you absolutely feel intimidated. and you kind of ask, was this a fluke? and it's especially harder when some people insinuate that you're a fluke -- >> or they just don't insinuate it. >> or they say it. they say, you're an accident, a fluke. you being here is just because something went wrong. that you're not here because something went right. and this is why so many women of color, women in general, you hear them say, i need to be twice as good to be seen as just as good. and i think a lot of us cope with it that way. and that's how i felt. >> part of being alexandria

ocasio-cortez means being a target of scorn and criticism, even within her own party. >> i saw that you said once that i think a lot of people, including my democratic colleagues, believe the fox news version of me. >> yeah, yeah. i mean it was -- my first term was very painful. it was very, very painful. and, you know, i came in and i unseated an incumbent that while may not have been very resonant in our community, was very popular inside those smoke-filled rooms. and so i took away a friend. and i walked in into a very cold environment. even within my own party. >> and it would be really weird sometimes walking to a house floor and seeing a colleague who, like, would never say hello to me, and i felt like, man,

it's really tough to have people make opinions about you that are sitting right next to you who won't even start a conversation with you. it was very, very tough. >> even her friendships are famous. the so-called squad, house members ayanna pressley, rashida tlaib and ilhan omar, real friends. >> i was able to find kinship and friendship and sisterhood. >> that helped her get through some very public conflicts like last july when a republican congressman got in her face on the capitol steps. >> you were referred to as a -- i'm quoting here -- last year. >> he later apologized, sort of. >> having been married for 45 years with two daughters, i'm cognizant of my language. the offensive name-calling words attributed to me by the press were never spoken to my colleagues. >> which led to this response

from ocasio-cortez, delivered from notes she scribbled down ten minutes before. >> the representative put his finger in my face. he called me crazy, out of my mind. and he called me dangerous. he called me a -- i'm here because i have to show my parents that i'm their daughter and that they did not raise me to accept abuse from men. >> he made some very memorable remarks on the house floor. i've covered congress for -- i'm not going to do it as long as you've been alive. but for a very long time. and i stopped in my tracks. >> in the moment, i was really shocked. and for whatever it's worth, what i found was that a lot of

my republican colleagues, they go on tv or say certain things. in person, when i was with them in committee, they would actually be quite cordial. but that moment, i was really shaken up. but, again, as women, we're taught to just accept and disrespect and belittling is so normalized that i had zero intention of saying anything about it. >> i cannot apologize for my passion -- >> and then when i saw him not apologize, i said, and have that be so public, i said, we cannot show people that this is what's acceptable. and we're not going to allow for this to play out this publicly anymore. >> i'm sure you've seen the audio of your speech underneath tiktok videos. >> some of them -- >> he put his finger in my face. he called me disgusting, he called me crazy. he called me out of my mind.

he called me dangerous. he called me a -- >> young women who are putting on their red lipstick and so forth, in particular, the i'm somebody's daughter line was incredibly resonant. did you know that at the time as you were delivering it? >> the fact that he's somebody's father -- someone is my father too and i'm someone's daughter. and the value that i have as someone's daughter is -- are the values that my parents raised me with. and i think that that ultimately is what that moment was about. i didn't know how resonant that would be when that happened. >> the ted yoho fight was not one she welcomed. others are. when she's challenging fellow democrats to embrace more progressive policies, breaking glass, to get attention for an issue. she's just one of 435 house members, a jr. member, yet one of the most visible. that doesn't sit well with some colleagues.

>> when she was in the senate, hillary clinton said, i'm a workhorse, not a show horse. and some people say that you're a show horse and not a workhorse. >> i think that's one of those ways that people try to chip away to make a person feel small. the fact of the matter is, our jobs as legislatures is to do both and the thing i pride myself most in is in my hard work, that is a thing that i take an immense amount of pride in. but the other end of this, if we aren't educating the public about the work that is going on, then it is -- we are doing a profound disservice. so if we aren't communicating with the public what our policies are, if we aren't educating the public about the opportunities that are available to them, if we aren't making the case for why we should have universal health care in this country, then we aren't fully doing our job. and so i don't see it as being workhorse and show horse. i see myself as doing the work

and educating the public. and that is what i think a public servant should be doing. your position is the most important thing that you have. but i do think that if you have a position and message it poorly, then people will think you have a different position than you actually have. i don't think it's wrong to say democrats have a struggle with messaging. >> you're uncompromising in your vision, in your goals for what you want to do. so to people who say that is just not realistic, you say? >> we can be uncompromising in our vision and we can be flexible in our path. >> not a lot of people would use the word flexible to describe you, congresswoman. >> here's the thing, i think we can be strategic, but we also need to put our foot down in figuring out, are we really doing the most that we can. and i think sometimes people think that i'm inflexible or

that i'm staunch. but it's because i believe oftentimes that for a very long time, congress settled for less. and where the rubber hits the road, sometimes, is, well, if we can do more by going it alone or do less and get a couple of republican votes on, sometimes i feel like we should go it alone. >> up next, red lips and the red carpet. redefining political power. >> i think that there is just as much power in femininity as there is in masculinity. >> you embrace the power? >> yeah, yeah. cookies and breyers. that's like getting two desserts! wait... do we have to thank our moms twice? i don't know... (laughs) breyers. 100% grade a milk and cream, and loaded with delicious cookie pieces. better starts with breyers.

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beauty routine. >> i just go right in. i start in the low-risk zone, actually. and, again, i start small and i start working my way out. >> you don't usually see politicians this way. >> all right. i got my blazer on. and i'm ready to seize the day. >> you sometimes take heat for your celebrity status, for being glamorous. >> you came straight out of the tri-state area with this runway look, i love it. >> one thing that you said that really struck me is femininity has power. what do you mean by that? >> i think especially when it comes to women in politics, you're always being picked apart for even the very small aesthetic decisions that you make. and i think it is because

femininity has a tremendous amount of power and influence. i think that there is just as much power in femininity as there is in masculinity. >> you embrace the power? >> yeah, yeah. >> how do you use that power, the power of femininity as you describe it? >> yeah, well, i think -- i think that -- and this is not just in politics, but in our society, in our economy, in our work lives, we're really taught to shy away from embracing femininity and the way that i think -- i think when we embrace it, we say power doesn't just come in one package. power is not just broad shoulders and power is not just being loud and talking over other people. and power is not just -- power

can be emotionally intelligent and power can be intellectual and power can be beautiful. >> and power can have red lips. >> and power can have red lips. and everyone is born with that beauty. >> and it wasn't that long ago, maybe your mother's generation, where a woman went to work and dressed like a man. and tried to act like a man. >> it's really about embracing who you are and i think that that is what's powerful. because when you're walking in your full authentic self and you're not a woman saying, i'm going to try to lower my voice register, or i'm going to try to walk a certain way because that is what power has traditionally looked like, but say, no, i'm going to redefine this. >> a group of people that seem to have an obsession with you is those -- our friends at fox news. they talk about you a lot. are you surprised at the speech to which they've shifted their programming to you?

>> it's weird. i'm like, why are so many grown men just obsessed with this, like, 29-year-old? it's great. i love the -- [ applause ] >> there was a moment on seth meyer's show talking about fox. >> yeah. >> and you both looked at each other like -- >> i wonder why. and the thing is -- >> let's just talk turkey here. how much do you think it's you're an attractive young woman and that's part of -- >> so much of what they're doing is so visceral, right? and their job is to get at this visceral, reactive place in people. particularly men. but also tap these visceral lines along race and tap along visceral lines along gender and youth. >> she photographs well and she

speaks with her hands. but beyond that, does she matter? beauty fades. stupid is forever. >> do you ever watch fox news? do you watch what they say about you? >> not a ton. every once in a while i do. and i think that it's really fascinating. i actually find it to be really, really fascinating because it reveals a lot about the subconscious of folks that are crafting these narratives and they very often are speaking to these very subconscious narratives about women or about people of color or about latinos or latinas or about working-class people. these caricatures that are developed are not really personal, they are societal. >> so you can watch that and take yourself, you the human being, out of it? >> yeah. >> and look at it almost from an

academic point of view. >> yeah. actually the right wing -- >> that seems like it would be pretty hard to do. because you are a human being. >> it is the -- the harder one is the critiques from within the party. that is the one -- that's the stuff that hurts. but the right wing stuff doesn't hurt. >> how did someone who's been in congress a few months turn off so many people and so quickly? >> you've called yourself one of the most hated people in america. and you laugh. >> yeah. >> but you have to care. >> yeah, it's a duality. and i think for me, it's not -- what i care about is not -- i think the thing that is more impactful is not necessarily being hated, but it's about being misunderstood. and to be so deeply misunderstood because there's an engine out there and a media

engine out there that just churns out intentional misperception to generate that hate, that is -- that part i think can be hurtful. >> how are you most misunderstood? >> just thinking that i'm rash, unintelligent and that i intend to do harm. it's unfortunate. it's sad. >> up next, the shocking revelation about how she thought january 6th would end for her? >> you said that you thought you were going to die that day. >> there were moments that -- where i thought i was going to die before the 6th. we're cary who invented car vending machines and buying a car 100% online. now we've created a brand-new way for you to sell your car. whether it's a year old or a few years old. we wanna buy your car. so go to carvana and enter your license plate answer a few questions. and our techno wizardry calculates your car's value

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on january 6th, being alexandria ocasio-cortez was terrifying. she had already faced multiple death threats since she was elected and felt uneasy about crowds gathered outside the capitol leading up to that day. she was in her office in the canon building across the street when the mob broke into the capitol. you said you thought you were going to die that day? >> yeah. >> how much of that is because of the threats and warnings that you got before that day and even two years before that? >> so much of it.

so much of it. there were moments that -- where i thought i was going to die before the 6th. the thing that i think some folks may not understand is that how direct the through line is between right-wing targeting on tv and -- how much that is actually a driver of very real physical threats. i used to wake up in the morning looking at photos of the most serious threats that i could recognize, people if someone came up to me. that is why i felt on the 6th, it felt like a culmination. there were so many warnings, so many threats, so many attempts to do more that didn't pan out and i remember just feeling, okay, this is the day. i was getting messages that were -- that day that were telling me, people are looking

for you. they're looking for you. >> she says she hid in a bathroom in her office after hearing loud banging on her office door. >> i hide behind my door like this. i'm here and the bathroom door starts going like this. like the bathroom door is behind me -- rather in front of me. i'm like this, and the door hinge is right here. and i just hear, where is she? where is she? and this was the moment where i thought everything was over. and, yeah, being trapped in that bathroom and hearing those bangs and -- while it ended up being capitol police, they didn't announce themselves as capitol police. from my perspective, the capitol is being rushed and every -- all

of the doors in my office are being banged on with complete silence to nothing else. and i run and i hide and i just hear screams of where is she? where is she? there's no way that a person in that situation would have even thought that that was law enforcement. that's not how we're kind of trained into thinking. >> the man didn't identify himself? >> he didn't identify himself. yeah, i was psychologically preparing myself for the worst. >> one big reason, a trauma she experienced earlier in her life. >> i'm a survivor of sexual assault. and i haven't told many people that in my life. >> what made that the right moment to open up? >> you know, i think for a lot of survivors across the country,

the decision to come forward oftentimes does not feel like a conscious one. you don't say, this is the moment, i'm going to do this now. it feels like something happens in the circumstances that almost propels you to -- it almost forces you in a way to come forward. because i think a lot of survivors would rather never talk about what happened ever again. i think one of the reasons -- while that impact was double that day is because of the misogyny and the racism that is so deeply rooted and animated that attack on the capitol. white supremacy and patriarchy are very linked in a lot of ways. there's a lot of sexualizing of that violence. and i didn't think that i was just going to be killed. i thought other things were

going to happen to me as well. >> it sounds like what you're telling me right now is that you didn't only think that you were going to die, you thought you were going to be raped? >> yeah, yeah. i thought i was. >> and that you now understand having thought about it is because of your experience? >> yeah, yeah. i think so. i think so. survivors have a very strong set of skills and the skills that are required as a survivor, the tools that you build for resilience, they come back in right away. and for me i felt like those skills were coming right back so that i could survive and my skills were to survive. >> i don't want to probe too much and stop me if you don't want to. is this something that you've reported? >> never. never. it happened and, you know, i grew up in a culture and i grew

up in a -- you know, i grew up in -- with a lot of faith and things like that. and so there's so many things in our culture that prevent women from coming forward. and the majority of women, they will be assaulted by someone that they know or someone that they're somewhat related to, a family friend or a first date or something like that. and, um, i actually had had an experience with stalking before that incident. and i remember going to the precinct to report it and it was very -- i felt like i wasn't believed then either. and this was a situation where, you know, in the immediate

aftermath, you don't want to be going through -- some women just don't want to be going through all of that. >> and that was how you felt. >> that's how i felt. >> how old were you? >> i was in my early 20s. i was in my early 20s. and a lot of the things that happened, you know, you feel like it's your fault. you feel -- you don't want to subject yourself to the scrutiny because it feels like you're allowing yourself -- you're signing up to be violated even more. >> and you talked about -- just now about the fact that a lot of survivors of assault don't want to talk about it because their perceived as victims, but it also allows others to feel that they're not alone. >> yeah, and i think that was one of -- there was an extraordinary amount -- there's an extraordinary amount of pain that there -- that one endures in coming forward. because your biggest fear, one of the biggest fears that

survivors have is not being believed. i'm the most at home here. >> up next, aoc opens up about having kids and what that mean for her future in politics. >> if i really wanted to start a family, would that mean that i have to leave? ah, there's no place like panera. enjoy the toasty, saucy chipotle chicken avocado melt on freshly baked bread. panera. order on the app today. for people who could use a lift new neutrogena® rapid firming. a triple-lift serum with pure collagen. 92% saw visibly firmer skin in just 4 weeks. neutrogena® for people with skin.

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>> boo! >> you get some of that too. >> being aoc means being confronted with critics on a regular basis. but the adulation is just as loud. >> i voted for you twice. good job! >> thank you so much. i appreciate it. what's your name? >> her family is from this bronx neighborhood, though they moved to a more affluent part of new york when she was young so she and her brother could get a better education. still, this is her comfort zone. >> what's up? >> she's only 31 years old, living a life quite different from most other women her age. >> i was thinking a lot of people who are in their 20s, they go out and party, they go to bars, they hang with friends

or they're starting families. but, you know, you are in such a unique position for somebody in the world, but particularly somebody your age. >> yeah, yeah. and it's -- there's definitely that aspect has been a whole thing to try to figure out and navigate. i'm grateful that i've had just really amazing friends even going into this whole experience. >> i was reading at some point, maybe multiple times, you've talked about do i have a family? when do i have a family? when do i go about that? i'm very tuned into that because i was 40 when i had my son. and it almost didn't happen for me. >> yeah, yeah. i think it's a concern that's so -- it's something that i think about a lot. but i think it's also something that -- especially a lot of young women and millennial women my age think about a lot because

it just feels -- it's always hard. but i think it feels really hard for us as well, whether it's economic pressure, you know, can -- just a lot of people feel like, can you even -- is it even possible to, like, afford the family life now that people were able to afford a generation ago, or kind of in my case too, we think about climate change and also just with how busy my life is, i really want to not just, you know, have a family and check it off as a box, but, like, with how demanding work can be -- >> you want to be present? >> how can you be a present parent and i feel like my parents were really great in a lot of ways and i'm like, can i live up to how awesome they were? and they were really present. and so i think all of these things are for sure on my mind too. i'm working the -- the actual logistics of working in congress

is really tough. i've even thought to myself, is it even possible? is it even possible? and i've thought to myself, do i have to, like, choose? if i really want to start a family, would that mean that i have to leave or particularly the house where travel is much, much, much more frequent in the house than the senate. >> you said you talked about freezing your eggs. >> yeah, i haven't talked about that with other members. >> just in general. because technology is different now. it's changing rapidly. >> it is, it is. and wish -- i think it's one of those things that i wish should be more accessible to more people. we should have a conversation about why health care and health insurance often doesn't cover this. >> the netflix documentary "knock down the house" shows riley roberts her boyfriend constant by by herself, helping and advising her during her first campaign. >> i can do this. >> i know you can. >> one of the things that keeps

a lot of women from going for it is they haven't found the right person to do it with. they haven't found the ratight person to start a family with. you have a pretty solid relationship. >> yeah. no, i'm very -- i'm very -- i feel very lucky to be supported in a relationship and -- and not just -- not just in having a supportive partner, but the community that supports my partner also supports both of us and i feel very lucky that, you know, my dad always told me that family is what you create. up next, an election year is quickly approaching and she has a big decision to make. >> are you going to challenge senator schumer in a primary race?

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being aoc means taking down powerful figures. he did it in 2018, the question is will she try to do it again? >> okay. so this is one of the questions that everybody especially here in new york and definitely in washington want to know the answer to. are you going to challenge senator schumer in a primary race? [ laughter ] >> you know, here is the thing. i know it drives everybody nuts but the way i really feel about this and the way i really approach my politics and political career is i do not look at things and i do not set

my course positionally. i know there is a lot of people that do not believe that but i really, i can't operate the way that i operate and do the things that i do in politics while trying to be aspiring to other things or calculating to other things and so all that is to say is that i make decisions based on what i think our people need and my community needs and so, i'm not commenting on that. >> you need to make a decision soon. >> i feel like this is a decision almost put on me, right? i didn't go into politics and say i'm going to run, i'm going to win. two years later run for senate. you know, that is not -- that's not in micy calculus.

i never thought about this as, like, a decision that needs to be made or not need to be made. i'm honestly my focus is taking temperature how things are going in washington right now. i really do not try to make these kinds of decisions out of a sense of personal ambition. >> there is also a calendar. if you decide you're going to run for the senate, you have to file at some point here in this district. >> yeah, yeah, i don't know. it's no comment on that. >> chuck schumer is watching this, he'll say when are you going to put me out of my mystery or not? >> you know, and you know, for what it's worth senator schumer and i have been working very closely. >> i've noticed. >> on a lot of legislation and that to me is important, right? and so we shall see. >> okay. i know you're not talking about

your future ambition but there was a lot of post its you seen outside here. one of the post it notes says aoc for president. >> yeah, i don't -- i struggle with this because i don't want little girls watching or anything like that to lower their sights or anything in that direction, but for me, i feel that many that was in the scope of my ambition, that would scrape away at me today. what is today is more important than trying to, you know -- being able to stand up and take tough positions that will help people but may be controversial today, that to me right now is

more important than having some sort of career path or milestone. >> you have to be more calculating, if that were the case. >> right. i think what happens a lot is that i think what happens a lot in politics is that people are so motivated to run for certain higher office that they compromise in fighting for people today and the idea is that if you can be as clean of a slate or as blank of a slate, it makes it easier for you to run for higher office later on, and. >> be authentic. >> to be authentic. i've decide that being me is more important than being anything else. ♪ ♪

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to achieve - to change the game and inspire the team of tomorrow. ♪ ♪ over the past hour, you heard from congresswoman alexandria ocasio-cortez in her own words what it's like to be her in a more personal and human way than we're used to seeing a

politician or person in the spotlight. i'll be bringing you more of these stories on future episodes of "being." i'm dana bash in washington. thanks for watching. hello, everyone. this is "don lemon tonight" and we have big developments on three major stories and all have something in common so here we go. willful, deadly, disregard for the facts and for the truth. let's start with the covid crisis. worsening by the day, yet some politicians are pretending it's not a big deal. it is a big deal. so i don't want to say they are in denial because the truth and the facts, well, they are known. they're making a conscious choice trying to politicize a virus killing people and hospitalizing children when much of