i was always different. >> diana provided a very public model for defiance and truthfulness. >> diana was a trailblazer. she found her voice, and i think that's why we continue to care.

>> he had this courage engrained within her. >> prediana, there was zilch in the royal family. along comes diana, and boom, it all changes. >> she was iconic. she was box office. >> are you going to dance with the princess tonight? >> if she would like me to. >> it was like having a rock star join the family. >> there was a kind of a sense of an impostor syndrome. >> i was a very young girl. >> you see this vulnerability, but also this strength. >> she was very keen to make sure william and harry underun understood there was a life beyond the palace walls. >> she wanted to help people. b because as she said, i'm one of them. >> they both needed what the

other was unable to give them. >> there's a tremendous hope for me, which was slashed. >> any marriage prince charles may have made would never be as strong as he had with camilla. >> i hated myself so much. >> looking back, you can see a pattern throughout her life. >> isn't it formal to feel angry and want to change the situation? >> every single story had been denied by the palace. >> it's not good. >> i don't think anybody in our time has grown up in public like diana has. >> i never anticipated i would end up in the history books. >> the unique, the complex, the extraordinary and irreplaceable diana. >> i was able to recognize an inner determination to survive.

>> people are seeing this very much -- have you been able to put any small, personal touches that will still make it very much your day? >> umm, have we? >> i think by inviting one's friends and all the people that helped us. >> the very first time i actually met lady diana spencer was in buckingham palace. >> well, i don't know. it has been quite difficult. >> in that interview, it's really the first time the world heard diana speak.

looking back on that, it's not -- not only is it awkward, but they don't seem to really know each other. they don't necessarily know how to answer, and you're thinking, this is just a few days before your wedding. >> i find it really painful watching the interview, because what diana actually did was go into the idea of marriage as a total innocent. >> in my immaturity, which was enormous, i thought he was very much in love with me. but it wasn't the genuine sort. >> and for diana to have a fantasy of going into a fairytale wedding, and then it all working out just great, you hit reality with a bump. >> you're going to have time for the private life, for making a home and running a home sort of thing that young married couples do? are you looking forward to

making a home? >> very much so. >> after we did the interview, there was a moment when one of the courtiers came and he said, diana, would it be all right if we took a photograph now? no, not now. there was something more to diana. something that was not the marshmallow or the play dough that was going to be molded into what they wanted. running through all of it was a b backbone. a knowledge of her own self. and you see this vulnerability of diana, but also this strength. but you have to ask the question, where does this come from? and you only have to just go back and look at diana's childhood to find the answer.

♪ ♪ >> diana was born in norfolk in the east of england. >> it was at that time still with one foot in the 1950s. >> it will see wealthy land owners there is a slight feeling it's at one remove from the rest of the country. >> it mass -- has this enormous cache of royalty is associated with norfolk. it's where the family spends every christmas with the family. it's where they relax and go hunting and shooting and picnicking. >> i love being in the country. you can always smell the trees.

>> diana had a quiet country life. >> you look at the early pictures and see the country girl, you know, in her cheeky knits. >> she's swimming in the family swimming pool. she's on bicycles. it all seems to be very happy and well. but behind closed doors, it was not a happy house. >> diana's father was johnny orthrop. this man who would be earl spencer and francis, diana's mother had a difficult time with johnny. >> for women of diana's mother's generation or any one of her posh friends, you're supposed to

keep popping out male children. >> when i married my husband, i discovered this new word that means that the first born son inherits everything within these families. can you even imagine trying to divide an estate into eight different parts? >> francis knew that johnny needed an heir. she produced two daughters, sarah and jane. finally, francis gave birth to a little boy, john. it's incredibly sad. he lived for barely hours before he died of a lung condition. there was not just the grief of losing a child but the grief of

losing this child that her husband so badly wanted. 18 months later after the death of his precious little boy, diana was born. third girl. >> i could not understand why i was perhaps a nuisance to have around, which in eight years i perceived was being part of the son, the child before me that died was the son. then comes a third daughter, not a boy. we'll have to try again. so i've recognized this. >> diana is growing up with feeling that she has already disappointed her parents because she wasn't the right sex. >> i didn't give my parents what they wanted. i'm not good enough. but diana was determined to prove everybody wrong. she was thinking you can be anything you want to be, you can do anything you want to do as

long as you put your mind to it.

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♪ (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah) ♪ ♪ whoa, we're 'bout to make a movie, ♪ ♪ woo ♪ ♪ ♪ roll out the red carpet for me ♪ “ladies and gentlemen, that's a wrap!" ♪ ♪ after diana, another three years and then a boy was born. johnny finally had his son and heir. little boy charles. once francis has given birth to the son and heir, she's fulfilled her contract. she has done what she was meant to do.

she began to plot an escape route for herself. johnny could be violent and she felt that she and her children would be safer out of the home. >> there were terrible arguments in the household. >> he punched my mother across the face. she was crying. >> it was september in 1967 that francis, diana's mother finally told her husband johnny that the marriage was over and she was leaving. to have your mother just gone, just left. nobody explains to you what happens that makes any sense because that's not what that family does. all that she knows is there goes mommy and she didn't come back. the support system for diana walked out and never really to

be seen again. >> i hated the doubt. i used to hear my brother cry in his bed down at the other end of the house crying for my mother. >> she didn't understand that her mother had wanted her, had hoped to take her with her. she'd hoped to take all of her children with her. diana's own mother in a very unhappy marriage left for very good reasons, and was shunned in society. >> ruth lady diana's grandmother who was a terrible snob was appalled her daughter left and as a result, she gave evidence in the custody proceedings against her own daughter.

she called her a bad mother. custody did go to johnny. so francis having planned to keep all four of her children and to remove them from this abusive household had lost them. >> because of what happened to diana at such a young age and watching her own mother lose her children, this fear of losing children would have played on diana until her death. ♪ ♪ >> after a succession of nannies, diana was finally packed off to a girls' boarding school called riddlesworth.

>> good morning, everyone. >> good morning ms. winter. >> diana was brought back by the chauffeur and not by her dad or mother. i cannot imagine what it must have been like. ♪ ♪ >> desks going down, windows being shut, all the time. very poignant, very much there. >> diana wanted to be loved. she wanted wholesome family type love. when she was a little girl, she didn't have control or power. she must have felt she was always struggling to find her place. >> sure to begin the first team school in new hampshire, the boy born to be king. prince charles may well occupy the desk once used by his father.

>> diana and charles grew up in pretty much the same world. >> yes, there is a 12-year gap between the two of them but they were both send toe boarding school at age 9. it's full on and it's hard and it's strict. who is nurturing them? who is looking after them? when charles was sent to boarding school, he was so home sick he was seen weeping and the only comfort he had was his teddy bear. >> teachers had no mercy for him because they're like you have the wealthiest family in the world. i'm supposed to feel sorry for you? sit down and shut up.

>> i think i know him well enough to surmise it was crippling awful. >> he had a very unhappy childhood and diana was a victim of her own desperately unhappy childhood. they were two needy people and they both needed what the other was unable to give them. instant eraser from maybelline new york. our concealer does it all. in a click... conceal. contour. correct. easy to blend. instant eraser. only from maybelline new york.

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prince charles, the future king of england becomes a college freshman. the heir to the throne looks l like his mother. >> while diana is at school, charles goes off to university. he's meeting people. charles enjoyed his time at the university. first little taste of independence and hadn't had much of that. though, for me, looking become at the pictures of him, he doesn't look like your typical student, does he, with his suit and tie. his bicycle emaculately turned out. >> do you have any thoughts about the lady prince of wales should marry? >> i suppose it's difficult. you have to remember when you marry in my position, you're going to marry somebody that perhaps one day is going to become queen and you've got to choose somebody very carefully,

i think. >> part of duty is ensuring a marriage that will last, one that will produce an heir and a spare, because that is what is expected of you as a member of the royal family. ♪ ♪ >> charles was a very complex man. he didn't feel entirely loved or appreciated by his parents. he felt he could never please them. he could never win their approval. >> everyone bows or courtesies to the queen. even her own children and grandchildren when they first see her during the course of a day would call her your majesty. good morning, your majesty. >> there's a wall, there's a boundary. the kiss that is from one cheek to the other, but it's a cold kiss. the

there's not a whole lot of warmth. >> despite their surface differences, young diana and young charles are actually pretty united. the desire to feel safe, the desire to control your environment, the desire to be in a solid structure all of that goes back to imperfect parents, unmaternal mothers, distant fathers and the feeling of being an unwanted child. ♪ ♪ >> in 1975 diana's grandfather dies and her father becomes the earl. they had to move to north hampton, the family seat. >> that's a truly great house. it has 13,000 acres of wood land and park land.

it has 90 rooms. >> having been on the honorable diana spencer, she was the lady diana spencer. she skipped along the corridors shouting i am now lady diana. >> she was someone to be reckoned with. the spencers go back an awful long way. they were rich enough back in the 1600s to lend money to the monarchy. >> another tick in the box to say right, i'm now officially part of this aristocrat world. i'm one of you. i have the title and my father has the house. and then diana was sent to another school called west heath. it was a safe and a cozy environment for diana. it is where her two older sisters sarah and jane had gone to school.

♪ ♪ >> here in the ballet class so somewhere she could shine. she adored dancing. if you enjoy dancing, you can be lost in ourself. >> great leaps and bounds. >> diana. left it to her dancing. >> it was quite formidable. >> yes, it was amazing. her legs. all of her. >> part of diana's attractiveness at school is that she was athletic. she was gorgeous. she had a lot of vitality. so she may not have got taught marks on her exam papers but she got taught marks on the playing field. other girls really like her. she wins best legs competition.

she was able to get along with her friends. all she wanted was security, and a feeling of being validated and appreciated and that's something she thought constant in her life. >> diana you have to remember lived on a diet of romantic novels. she read but she didn't read anything of much substance. she had this romantic notion in her head she would read her dashing prince like all the stories she read. >> she had like a school girl's crush own prince charles. i think she had a picture of him in her bedroom. >> at 15, diana was already beginning to project into the future and plan her life and marriage. and she wanted somebody that

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♪ ♪ while diana is still at school, charles who is 12 years

older is in the navy. his nickname is action man. interpret that how you want and he's having a lot of fun. >> all young princes seem to go into military service and i think it's a hugely liberating time for them. they're there with the boys and lads together and womanizing together. >> how did you find it? >> charming. total enchantment. >> when you're the most sought after man in the land you have your pick of your beauties. why don't you take advantage of it? he certainly did. women were fleeing themselves at him. >> we wanted to grab it so we're looking. >> if you were younger, would you consider him in that as a sex symbol?

>> i suppose so. it would be lovely. >> unveiled girl friends. sabrina and then anna wallace, old hopes with a match of a suitable foreign princess. even princess was considered a candidate. >> diana is having a good time at boarding school. she's safely tucked away and then the life of prince charles actually begins to over lap with that of diana in the most extraordinary way. she receives news charles is dating her older sister sarah. this is the moment that diana realizes she's not that far away from the royal family. at school, first day back, they haven't seen each other for weeks and there was a lot of chatter before class.

diana, tell me about the holidays. did you see charles and sarah? what happened? let me know all. any young girl would have loved to have been his girlfriend, even more importantly, his wife. in november 1977, diana's eldest sister sarah invited the prince of wales for a shoot. >> diana insists on going home. i don't think she wanted to steal charles from her sister but i think she wanted to start rubbing shoulders with the absolute top level of english society at the time. and that's the royals. >> the night before, there was a dinner and that was the first time that she and charles noticeably met one another.

>> my sister was all over him. i kept out the way. >> i suspect that when she met prince charles that weekend, she fell for him. she went back to west heath to her school and nurtured dreams about him in a way any teenage girl nurtures dreams about a pop star. >> sarah's relationship came to a grinding halt in the interview with the press she says she had no interest at all in marrying prince charles and not only that, but he was merely one of thousands of boyfriends. just giving an interview to the press was completely unacceptable to the royal family. you never do that. i think he was extremely aware

that every woman he went out with, he had to be able to trust them. >> charles is quite tortured about the future. everyone is looking at him waiting for him to get married, to continue the royal line. he knows he has to choose england's queen.

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in the summiter of 1979, diana came into money and with it, she bought herself a very nice flat in a very, very posh part of london. she invited some of her school friends to come and join her there. >> it was nice to be with the girls.

>> diana had a girl squad of posh friends and they lived in and played in what we call the tiara triangle. basically, the poshest parts of london. diana's youthful life is a circuit. it's a marriage market, and the young ladies have to put themselves in the way of eligible young men at a range of venues. polo matches, friends weddings and parties, weekends away. shooting, hunting, fishing. >> in the aristocrat world, aristocrats only hang out with aristocrats. the woman, born into these aristocratic families, would play at having a job. not a career like i'm going to become a lawyer or doctor. it was no, i'll be a nanny or nursery schoolteacher. >> when diana came to me as a shy 18-year-old babysitter, she

had very little world experience, none at all and she was just wonderful with patrick. she sat on the floor with him and was totally focused on him. she worked at a nursery school the days she was not working with me. one of her strongest characteristics was she was very tactile. she wanted to hug people, reach out and touch them. that basic warm trusting loving, caring personality was always there. ♪ ♪ >> diana had this idea that she was cut out destined, if you'd like to be different. to be something a little bit special. >> she becomes clear in her goals. diana would use the kind of soft

power, very feminine power. she realized despite not having overt drive, overt ambition, she had something else. >> in the '80s, still around aristocrat society and within the royal family, as a woman you still wanted to be perceived as unblemished, as virgin, as, you know, not having a lot of gossip around you. >> there had been so many wonderful young women in charles' life at that point but it was expected of charles to marry someone that came from a certain social strata that checked all the boxes. yes, she was expected to be a virgin. >> in july 1980, diana's life begins to change dramatically. >> charles had been playing polo in sussex. >> diana receives this invitation and she immediately packs her bags and goes.

>> and charles was told she was jolly, which meant she was a lot of fun. she'd make him laugh. she was cute. >> this was her opportunity at this house party when they were flown together, i think she sees that chance with both hands. >> diana looks in the mirror and says to herself, remember you're a spencer. >> there was a barbecue on the night of the polo and charles and diana were sitting together on a hay bail and diana started to talk about lord baton who died the year before and to tell charles how sorry she felt for him.

lord baton was prince charles' father's uncle. so he was a great uncle. his death was devastating for prince charles. he's lost the one person in his life who was a real father figure to him, who would give him advice and whom he would actually listen to. and charles was so moved by this young woman, her empathy, her caringness. >> and for diana, charles was sort of prince charming. she saw a sensitivity in him that chimed with her. >> she feels like a human being. she's listening. he writes poetry. he tells her. he plays the cello. nobody wants to know that. she cares about him, as a person. >> having initially thought of diana as his girlfriend's little sister, he looked at her with new eyes and that was the beginning of their relationship.

>> she was young. she was beautiful. she was aristocrat, titled, she checked air will the of boxes for a future king. they were chaperoned when they went to the races they did the routine things in his royal life in a very stayed and proper way. >> charles is pretty old school in the royal family, you go along with protocol. >> charles used to bring me out and say would you like to come for a walk? would you like to come for barbecue? i said yes, please. i thought it was all wonderful. >> january 1981 diana is invited to princess margaret's 50th birthday party at the ritz.

if you get invited to that, you're in the family. that was her stamp of approval. >> can you imagine what diana is thinking, the future king is interested in me. we're meeting up at these super posh society parties. i'm being scene. i'm on his arm. and diana was still a virgin and i have to say, at this time, by the 1980s, there were very few aristocrat virgins around. it was the fairytale come true. >> diana came into work bright and early monday morning. said she had something important to tell me. when you go out to work this morning, you will see our reporters and photographers at

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>> she was a tantalizing target. >> from 1980, '81, she was thrown into the deep end. >> diana was straight out of central casting. she was young and blonde and gorgeous, and intriguing. >> she was iconic. she sold newspapers. she was box office. >> and then it all started to build up. >> the press were being unbearable. they follow my every move. >> som e reporters