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>> i was always different. and it was always knew i was going to be different. >> diana provided. diana was a trailblazer. she found her voice. i think that's why we continue to care. she had this courage ingrained within her. >> pre-diana there was still ch interest in the royal family. along comes diana and boom, it all changes. >> diana!

>> he was iconic. she was box office. >> dance with the princess tonight? >> if she'd like me to. >> it was like having a rock star join the family. >> there was a kind of sense of an impostor syndrome. >> i was a very young girl. >> you see this vulnerability but also this strength. she was very keen to make sure william and harry understood there was a life beyond palace walls. >> she wanted to help people who were marginalized. because she said, i'm one of them. >> there were two needy people and they both needed what the other was unable to give. >> it was tremendous height for me, which was sadful. >> any marriage to prince charles could never be as strong as the relationship he had with camilla. >> looking back.

you can see a bath. throughout her life. >> isn't it normal to feel angry and want to change a situation? >> every single store have been denied by the palace. >> it's not good. >> i don't think anybody in our time has grown up in public like diana has. >> i never anticipated i'd end up in the history books. >> unique thumb taxes. it's still a book. >> i recognize an inner determination to survive. >> people are seeing this very much as a state occasion but this is really a permanent family thing adds well. have you been able to put in any small family touches that will make it very much your day?

>> the very first time i actually met lady diana spencer was in buckingham palace in the week before her wedding. actually putting together a guest list. >> i don't know. i have a certain amount. you have to sort of take a blight or whatever. it's been difficult. >> in that interview it's really the first time the world heard diana speak. looking back on that, it's not only is it awkward but they don't seem to really know each other. they don't necessarily know how to answer, and you're thinking this is just a few days before your wedding. >> i find it really painful watching the interview, because what diana actually did was go into the idea of marriage as a

total innocent. >> in my immaturity, which was enormous, i thought he was very much in love with me, . >> for diana to have a fantasy and it working out just great, you hit reality with a bump. >> you're going to have time for the private life, for making a home and running a home, sort of thing that young married couples do? >> the domestic -- >> do you look forward to making a home at high grade, frequent? >> oh, very much so. i plan to be a good wife. >> gracious. >> i have to say. >> after we did the interview there was a moment when one of the courtiers came and said diana, would it be all right if we took a photograph now.

there was something more to diana, something that was not the marshmallow or the play dough that was going to be molded into what they wanted. through all of it was a backbone, a knowledge of her own self. and you see this vulnerability of diana but also this strength that you have to ask the can question where does this come from and you only have to just go back and look at diana's childhood to find the answer. diana was born in norfolk in the east of england. it was at that time still with one foot in the 1950s.

>> it's wealthy, wealthy landowners. there is a slight feeling that it's at one removed from the rest of the country. it has this enormous catcha of having royalty is associated with norfolk. it's where the queen spends every christmas with her family. it's where they relax. they go hunting and shooting and picnicking. and being in the country. >> diana had a quiet country life. >> you look at those early pictures and you see a country girl, you know, in her cheeky knits. she's swimming in the family swimming pool.

she's on bicycles. it all seems to be very happy and well. but behind closed doors, it was not a happy house. diana's father was johnny vicant hp sathrip. and frances, dianeas mother had a difficult time with johnny. >> for women of diana's mother's generation or anyone of her porsche friend you're supposed to keep popping out male children. >> when i married my husband, i discovered this new word called premajenitor. the first born son inherits everything within these alisto accuratic families. can you imagine trying to divide

an estate into eight different parts? frances knew that johnny needed an heir. she produced two daughters, sarah and jane. finally frances gave birth to a little boy, john. it's incredibly sad. he lived for barely hours before he died of a lung condition. there was not just the grief of losing a child but the grief of losing this child that her husband so badly wanted. 18 months later after the death of this precious little boy, diana was born, third girl. >> i couldn't understand why i was perhaps news to turn around

which in later years i've perceived was being part of the persona which the famili . >> diana's growing up with feeling that she has already disappointed her parents because she wasn't the right sex. >> i didn't give my parents what they wanted. i'm not good enough. >> but diana was determined to prove everybody wrong. she was thinking you can be anything you want to be, you can do anything you want to do, as long as you put your mind to it. i'm linda, your quickbooks live bookkeeper. let's do this linda! sounds good! a live expert bookkeeper who understands your business. felipe, i've categorized last month's hair gel expenses.

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or judge him by his jacket. while ted's eyes are on the road, his heart stays home. he's got gloria, and 10 grand-babies, to prove it. but his back made weekend rides tough, so ted called on the card that's even tougher. and the medicare coverage trusted by more doctors. medicare from blue cross blue shield. by your side, no matter what. that's the benefit of blue. find your local blue cross and blue shield plan at benefitofblue.com jeff's been to the bottom of the ocean. the tops of mountains. and wherever this guy runs off to. a life well lived should continue at home. with home instead care, older adults can stay home, safe, and happy. home instead. to us, it's personal. after diana, another three years and then a boy was born.

johnny alstrup finally had his son an heir, little boy charles. once francis has given birth to the son and heir, she's fulfilled her contract. she has done what she was meant to do. she began to plot an escape route for herself. johnny could be violate and she felt that she and her children would be safer out of the home. >> there were terrible arguments in the household. >> it was september, 1967 that frances, diana's mother, finally told her husband johnny that the marriage was over and she was leaving. and then to have your mother

just gone. she just left. nobody explains to you what happened that makes any sense. because that's not what that family does. all that she knows is there goes mommy and she didn't come back. age six, the support system for diana has walked out and never really to be seen again. >> she didn't understand that her mother had wanted her, had hoped to take her with her. she'd hoped to take all her children with her. >> diana's own mother in a very unhappy marriage left for very good reasons.

and was shunned in society. diana's grand mother, a terrible snob, was appalled that her daughter should have left her earl, and as a result she gave evidence in the custody proceedings against her own daughter. she called her a bad mother. custody did go to johnny. so frances, having planned to keep all four of her children and to remove them from this abusive household, had lost them. and because of what happened to diana at such a young age and watching her own mother lose her children, this fear of losing children would have played on diana until her death. >> after a succession of things

tooina as packed off to a girl's boarding school called riddlesworth. >> good morning. good morning. >> diana was brought back by the chauffeur and not by her dad or her mother. i cannot imagine what it must have been like . >> diana wanted to be loved. she wanted wholesome family dooip type love. when she was a very little girl she didn't have control.

she didn't have power. she must have felt that she was always struggling to find her place. >> first term, the boy who was born to be kingsessing. charles may occupy the well worn desk once used by his father. >> diana and charles grew up in pretty much the same world. yes, there's a 12-year gap between the two of them but they were both sent away to boarding school at age nine. it's fun and it's hard and it's strict. who's nurturing them? who's looking after them? when charles was sent to boarding school, he was so home sick that he was seen weeping and the only comfort he had was his teddy bear.

teachers had m no mercy for him. sit down and shut up. >> i think they knew him well enough to recognize that it was critically awful. >> charles was a victim of a very unhappy childhood, and diana was a victim of her own desperately unhappy childhood. there were two needy people and they both needed what the other was unable to give them. (calls dog) buttercup... (whines) ♪ ♪ ohh ohh ♪ the last day of vacation is still vacation. with guaranteed 4pm checkout at fine hotels + resorts properties. one of the many reasons you're with amex platinum.

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prince charles, a future kingsessing of england, becomes a college freshman. the heir looks like his mother and walks like his father. >> charles goes out to university. he's going out and meeting people. charles enjoyed his time at university. first little taste of independence. and he hasn't had much of that. though to me, looking back at the pictures of him, he doesn't look like his typical student, does he, with his suit and tied, his bicycle immaculately turned out. >> do you have any thoughts about the lady the prince of

wales should marry? >> i suppose it's really difficult because you've got to remember that when you marry in my position, you're going to marry somebody who perhaps one day is going to become queen and you've got to look at it very carefully. >> part of duty is ensuring that you make the right marriage, one that will last, one that will produce an heir and a spare, because that is what is expected of you as a member of the royal family. >> charles was what very complex man. he didn't feel entirely loved or appreciated by his parents. he could never please them. he could never win their approval. everyone bows or courtesies to the queen, even her own children and grandchildren when they first see her during the course

of a day will call her your imagine city. good morning, your magesty. >> the kiss that is from one cheek to the other but it's quite a cold kiss. there's not a whole lot of warmth. despite the surface differences, young diana and young charles are actually pretty united. the desire to feel safe, the desire to control your environment, the desire to be in a solid structure, all of that goes back to imperfect parents, unmaternal mothers, distant fathers and the feeling of being an unwanted child. >> in 1975, diana's grandfather dies, and therefore, her father becomes the earl. they had to move to north

hampton, the family seat. been in the family for hundreds of years. it's a truly exquisite house. it has 13,000 acres of woodland and parkland. it has 90 rooms. having been the honorable diana spencer, she was suddenly lady diana spencer. she skipped along the corridors shouting "now i'm lady diana." she was somebody to be reckoned with. the spepsers go back a long way. they were rich enough back in the 1600s to lend money to the monarchy. >> another tick to say right, i'm now officially a par of this aristocratic world. i'm one of you. i have the title and my father has the house.

and then diana was sent to another school called west heath. it was a safe and a cozy environment for diana. it is where her two older sisters sarah and jane had gone to school. >> here in the class was somewhere she could shine. she adored dancing and anyone who's danced, if you do enjoy dancing, you're just lost in yourself. >> that's amazing, great leaps. >> diana. >> yes. >> i left it to her dancing. >> she did it every day. >> it was amazing. >> diana's attractiveness at

school is that she was athletic. she was gorgeous. she had a lot of vitality, so she may not have got top marks on her exam papers but she got top marks on the playing fields. all the girls really like her. she wins best legs competition. she was able to get and ride along with her friends. all she wanted was security and a feeling of being validated and appreciated. that's something she sought constantly in life. >> diana, you have to remember, had lived on a diet of romantic novels. she read vorationly but she didn't read anything of much substance. she had this romantic mission in her head. she was going to marry her dashing prince hyka all the stories she'd read. she had like a school girl crush

on prince charles. i think she had a pick of him in her bedroom. at 15, diana was already beginning to project into the future and plan her life and her marriage. and she wanted somebody who would not leave her and not betray her

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jierk while dooinla was still another school, charles, who's 12 years older, he's in the navy. his nickname's action man, intercept that how you want, and he's having a lot of fun. all young princes seem to get into military service and i think it's a hugely liberating experience for them. they're the there with the lads together and womanizing and doing whatever. >> how do you find him this evening? >> oh, charming. total ep chantment. >> when you're probably the most sought after man in the land, you have the pick of a bevy of beauties. why don't you take advantage of it? and charles certainly did. women were flinging themselves at him.

>> we could grab it. we're pleased. >> if you were younger, would you consider him in that light? >> sexy? >> yes, i suppose. >> who doesn't? >> unveiled a cavalcade of girl friends. sabrina guinness. then it was anna wallace. all hopes for a suitable foreign princess were revived. even the likt chen stein princess was considered. >> diana was having a good time at boarding school. she's safely tucked away. and the life of pripds charles actually begins to overlap with that of diana in the most extraordinary way. she receives news that charles is dating her older sister

sarah. this is the moment that diana realizes that she's not that far away from the royal family. at school, first day back, they vn seen each other for weeks. it was a lot of chatter before class. diana, tell me about the holidays. did you see charles and sarah? what happened? let me know all. because any young girl would have loved to have be his girl friend, even more importantly, his wife. in november 1977, diana's eldest sister sarah invited the prince of wales for a shoot at althorpe. >> diana insists on going home. i don't think she wanted to steal charles from her sister, but i think she wanted to start rubbing shoulders with the absolute top level of english society at the time.

and that's the royals. the night before, there was a dinner and that was the first time that she and charles noticeably met one another. >> my sister was all over him like a labrador. >> i suspects that when she met prince charles that weekend, she fell for him. she went back to her school and nurtured dreams about charles in the way that any teenager nurtures dreams about a pop star. >> sara spencer's relationship with prince charles came to a

grinding halts in an interview with the press, she says she had no interest at all in marrying prince charles and not only that, but he was merely one of thousands of boyfriends. just giving an interview to the press was complete anathema to the royal family. you never do that. i think he was extremely aware what every woman he went out with, you had to be able to trust them. >> charles was quite tortured an the future. everyone's looking at him waiting for him to get married, to continue the royal line. he knows he has to choose england's queen. ♪ i see trees of green ♪ ♪ red roses too ♪

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in the summer of 1979 diana came into money. she'd reached 18 and with it, she bought herself a very nice flat in a very, very posh part of london in the royal burro of kensington and chelsea. she invited some of her school friends to come and join her there. >> diana had a girl's sort of posh friends and they lived in and played in what we call the tiara triangle, basically the porschest parts of london.

diana's youthful life, it's a circuit, it's a marriage market, and the young ladies have to put themselves in the way of eligible young men at a range of venues. polo matches, friends' weddings and parties. weekends away. shooting, hunting, fishing. in the aristocratic world, akris kratz only really hang out with other aristocrats. the women born into these aristocratic families would play at having a job. it wasn't a career like i'm going to become a lawyer or a doctor. it was just, oh, i'm going to become a nanny or i'm going to become a nursery schoolteacher. >> when diana came to me as a shy 18-year-old babysitter, she'd had very little world experience, none at all, and she was just wonderful with patrick. she sat on the floor with him.

she was totally focused on him. she worked at a nursery school the day she was not working with me. one of her strongest characteristics was she was very tactile. she wanted to hug people, reach out and touch them, that basic warm, trusting caring permit was always there. the idea that she was cut out, destined, if you like, to be different, to be something a little bit special. she becomes clear in her goals. diana would use the kind of soft power, very feminine power. she'd realize that despite not having overt drive, overt ambition, she had something else. >> in the '80s, still is around

aristocratic society and within the royal family, as a woman, you still wanted to be perceived as unblemished as a virgin, as not having a lot of gossip around you. >> there had been so many wonderful young women in charles's life at that point but it was expected of charles to marry someone that came from a certain social strata that ticked all the boxes, yes, she was expected to be a virgin. >> in july, 1980, diana's life begins to change dramatically. charles had been playing polo in petworth in sussex. diana receives this invitation and she immediately packs her bags and goes. and charles was told that she

was jolly, which meant she was a lot of fun. she'd make him laugh. she was cute. >> this was her opportunity at this house party when they were flown together. i think she seized that chance with both hands. >> diana looks in the mirror and says to her, remember you're a spencer. there was barbecue on the night of the polo and charles and diana were sitting together on a hay bale and diana started to talk about lord mount baton who died and to tell charles how sorry she had felt for him, watching him at mount baton's funeral. he was prince charles's father's uncle, so he was a great uncle. lord mount bat op's death was devastatesing for prince

charles. he's lost the one person in his life who was a real father figure to him, who would give him advice and whom he would actually listen to. and charles is so moved by this young woman, her empathy, her caringness, and for diana, charles was a sort of prince charming. she saw a sensitivity in him she feels like a human being. she was listening to him, because he writes poetry and stuff. everybody wants to know that, but he tells her. he plays a cello. nobody wants to know that. she cares about him as a person. >> having initially thought of diana as his girlfriend's little sister, he looked at her with new eyes. and that was the beginning of their relationship.

she was young. she was beautiful. she was aristocratic, titled. she ticked a lot of boxes for a future kingsessing. they were chaperoned where they went, to the albert hall, for example, and they went to the races. they did the routine things in his royal life in a very stayed and proper way. charles is pretty old school. in the royal family, you go looping with protocol. >> january, 1981, diana is invited to princess margaret's 50th birthday party at the ritz. if you get invited to that, you're in the family. that was the stamp of approval. >> can you imagine what diana is

thinking, the future kingsessing is interested in me. we're meeting up at these super posh society parties. i'm being seen. i'm on his arm. >> dooinda was still a virgin, and i have to say at this time by the 1980s, the were only few akrit accuratic virgins around. it was a fairy tale come true. diana came in to work bright and early monday morning, said she had something important to tell me. when you go out to work this morning, you will see reporters and photographers at the end of the news. they're actually out there for me. i said good hechs, diana, what have you done?

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describe as press harassment. lady diana leaves her flat to go to nursery school. >> you can't overstate the role of the media in diana's royal life. she was a tatp liesing target. >> from 1980-'81 she was thrown in the deep end. >> quite a strain all of us are. >> well it is naturally. >> diana was straight out of central casting. she was young and blonde and gorgeous and intriguing. >> she was iconic. she sold newspapers. she was box office. >> the press were being unbearable. >> some reporters rented the room opposite her flat to look into her bedroom.

they climbed drain pipes. they pretended to be delivery men. ef time she left the building, she was followed. she got to v into her car, they followed her on motorbikes in cars. life became intolerable for her. >> so is lady diana spencer, a 19-year-old kindergarten teacher really the one? >> where have you come from? >> australian. >> australians. bloody hell. >> the handsome prince let the press have their happy ever after ending, at least not yet. >> at this point, charles's father wrote to his son and said look, you've got to make your mind up about diana.

you must either ask her to marry you or her go because you are going to dam her reputation. >> charles misinterpreted his father's words and thought it was an interruption to marry. >> given that charles's relationship to his own father was quite frosty, very distant, very stilled, it's very bad luck that charles thinks that what his father is is saying is you better marry this lady quick. >> they had only met each other on 13 occasions before they got engaged. and on one of those occasions there have been other people with them. it wasn't getting to know somebody in a real way that couples normally do. it was very little intimacy.

>> for diana, everything that happened with charles was herro mantic fantasy of how people behaved. she didn't really know how people behaved when they were in love. and in a funny way, charles was as far removed from the real world as dooiana was. >> so he said will you marry me. and he was deadly serious. so i said yes. >> when diana says yes at windsor castle, she must have been feeling that i have made it, i'm the ultimate, right? but on the other hand,

frightened, confused and bewildered. what have i just said yes to? >> 11:00 a.m., buckingham palace. the beginning of a day to remember for prince charles, lady diana and a lot of other people, too. the much-written about engagement and marriage. >> now you're about to marry the prince of wales and one day you will end up being queen. it's a tremendous change for someone from 19 all of a sudden for transition. . >> it is. i've had a run up in the last six months . >> how do you feel today?

>> just delighted and happy. i'm very -- she's been brave enough to take me on. >> and i suppose now? >> i don't know if love would be -- >> two very happy people. >> nice relations. >> thank you very much. >> as a viewer, this was the most ghastly moment. >> he asked about love or his feelings in public was completely and utterly alien to him. this is a man who had grown up internalizing everything. in a very untactile family