don't forget, you can tweet me @pamelabrowncnn. also follow me on instagram and follow adam on instagram, too, adam charlton. thanks so much for joining us this evening. i'm pamela brown. i'll see you again next weekend. the cnn original series "diana" is next. >> did you know what you were taking on in that kind of sense, not being able to just walk down the street? >> no. i didn't. >> i don't think the royal family quite knew what to do with her. >> there was just a real frenzy

around diana. >> it was like having a rock star join the family. >> the world was waiting for someone, and diana delivered. >> did you find it difficult to adapt? >> i did, yes, clearly because there was so much attention on me when i first arrived on the scene. >> the more the media attention grew on heck the more troubles it created in her marriage. >> as in all families, there will be jealousies caused by this glamorous newbie coming in. >> she quickly became one of the most famous women in the world . ♪ ♪

♪ >> diana! diana! >> diana has no idea what's about to hit her. she's only 21, and she's about to make her debut on the world stage. she's embarking on a six-week tour of australia and new zealand. >> it's her first international outing as her royal highness. it's an unbelievable responsibility for a 21-year-old, and she has got to prove she is up to the job. >> the prince of wales led the way, but it was his princess who drew most attention. young prince william after strong lobbying by his mother was also allowed to come on tour. >> charles was a veteran by then, so he knew the ropes. diana didn't. this was hugely daunting for

her. >> i was learning to be a royal in one week. >> pre-diana there zilt interest in the royal family and along comes diana, boom, it all changes. >> the crowds went absolutely mad about diana. >> they came up with a name for her. it was di-mania. >> after the wedding, the royal family really thought that the attention on diana would die out, but diana was lightning in a bottle. she was so different from the rest of the royal family. >> there's a big difference between the queen. she's sort of above everybody else, untouchable, if you like. diana comes in and she's very much hands on. >> diana physically embraced the people that were there to see her. the ways in which she reached into the crowd to shake hands and crouched down to hug children. >> diana herself was totally

overwhelmed at just the intense interest in her. >> at sydney opera house, the drive through the city brought the people out in the tens of thousands to catch a glimpse of this woman the world had made so much fuss about. >> they went through the crowds. i took the frafrks and someone threw a small posey of flowers. it flicked on to diana's face, and she got afraid initially, but then she started to weep. >> i thought it was so appalling. i hadn't actually done anything, like climb everest or done something wonderful like that. >> there was a kind of a sense of an imposter syndrome that she really didn't deserve this. >> in such a short time she went from being a nursery teacher to marrying the heir to the throne to stepping into this global spotlight with everybody watching her every move. i can't fathom the pressure that she felt. >> we all know how it ends, but

it's a mistake to think that charles and diana's marriage was always sort of as bad as we all seemed to think. in fact, early on there was a real love connection and a closeness. >> i was lucky enough to marry her, and we had many, many messages. amazing what ladies do when your backs are turned. >> i've got lots of photographs where he's just gazing at her looking into her face, and you could see it. charles was in love with diana. you can't disguise that. >> there were real genuine moments of happiness, especially when they were with william. >> does prince william have a

favorite toy? >> got a plastic whale that throws things at the top, little balls. >> it was in fact the place where william took his first steps. charles wrote about it in an almost rhapso diy letter saying how much fun it was. initially she was really overwhelmed, but the more she did it, the more she became confident. it was the sort of crucible for diana to prove herself, and she did brilliantly. >> charles at first is thinking brilliant. she's such an asset, fantastic, but then, of course, things shifted again. >> chants followed her. >> we love the princess. >> she obviously had to take one side of the street and charles took the other side of the street, and there were audible groans from people who got charles. >> she was horrified that people

were gravitating to her rather than the heir to the throne. >> i've come to the conclusion that really it would have been far easier to have had two wives. [ laughter ] >> to have covered both sides of the street and i could have walked down the middle directing the operation. >> he made light of it, but it was something that bothered him. >> charles found it very difficult to have diana steal his thunder. he had spent his entire life as the star of the show. >> he resented diana's popularity because he thought that it was all sort of unearned, and he actually said, you know, what is it that she love about her? all she did was say yes to me. >> he took it out on me. he was jealous. i couldn't explain that i didn't ask for it.

>> the real shame is that he didn't see the potential there for both of them and how much diana's star power could have really benefited the royal family. >> balloons greeted them in canada as the princess continued the process of being introduced to the commonwealth. >> when the royal couple got to canada, diana had changed. there was a self-assurance, a confidence. >> she was on the front cover of every newspaper, every magazine all over the world. >> the royal family wasn't giving her that feedback, and it was something that she was craving. when a boost that must have been. as young woman that would mean a lot. >> she was beginning to realize her own power, her own resonance, the fact that people just loved and adored her. >> big royal trip. australia, new zealand, canada,

massive. >> massive really only for one person, mavis for diana. >> here they are, barely two years in, and diana is becoming this global icon, and that really starts to put a strain on their marriage. >> it was a changing sense of where the power and the love was, and that was going to stay like tha t forever.

>> hurry. >> hurry. >> too he havey? here we are in 1985, and diana has the family that she's always wanted. she's mother to 1-year-old william and 1-year-old harry. diana was literally night and day to previous royal mothers. diana ripped up that rule book and said, right, i'm going to be a very hands-on mother. >> she worshipped her sons william and harry. she felt that her number one job was being a mom. >> she was very demonstrative, threw them big kisses, big us which we were really not used to because in previous generations royal mothers didn't display their emotions in public. >> charles was brought up in such a different environment

than the way diana raised her boys. the queen was largely absent because of her work, her royal duty. there just wasn't a lot of affection in his childhood. >> she realized that she had the opportunity to shape the future of the monarchy through her influence on her boys. one of the key themes of diana's life is the sense of abandonment. she felt abandoned by her mother during the acrimonious divorce between earl spencer and her mother and she was determined her own children would have a nurturing environment that they could grow up in. >> she insist that had they go to school so they could mix with their peers, that they weren't off in the palace learning from a governess and that they were out in the world. >> she would do the school runs, school plays. this made her exceptionally relatable to ordinary people. >> she wanted to make sure that these boys realized that not

everybody had the privileged life that they had. >> she took them not just to amusement parks and hamburger alleys but to hospitals, to homeless shelters, to really get a sense of what modern britain was about. you can see today that sense of compassion that both young men have got which is directly related to their relationship with their mother. the public image of the fairy tale marriage was very rosy. behind the scenes the couple were rowing. it was certainly not happy families. >> in 1985 they did a television interview, and the whole purpose of it was to show the stories about the strife in the marriage were untrue. >> i suspect most husbands and wives found that they often have arguments. >> but we don't. >> no, no.

>> occasionally we do. >> no, we don't. >> charles and diana were fundamentally incompatible. they were like chalk and cheese. >> the age gap was problem make the. >> dinias was 24 and charles was 36. he was an older 36. >> just because you're growing up knowing you'll eventually be the king of england. >> she is absolutely pure 20th century woman, and he is fundamental 19th century man. he's super into his water colors and archaeology and history. >> and she loves dancing. she's full of energy and she's full of life. >> the only commonality existing between them was william and harry and the children and inevitably tensions grew. >> diana did feel that she wasn't getting enough attention from charles. we have to remember that diana grew up in a broken family. she wanted this close tight-knit

family. that meant charles needed to be a part of it, but he wasn't. he was busy doing his royal duties, and it started to wear on her. >> getting married at a very young virgin bride and then having two sons in quick succession, i think diana felt isolated, unappreciated, unsupported, diana wanted charles' attention all the time. she had this craving for love. and i think this is where a lot of the friction happened. >> in her desire to sort of draw charles as close as possible to her, it actually pushed him further away. >> the level of compassion and love between the couple was diminishing virtually by the week emergency braking and lane departure warning work properly. don't wait--schedule now. >> singers: ♪ safelite repair, safelite replace. ♪

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made to do anything so you can do anything. the moment they saw her, the crowds began to cheer. america greeting her with a welcoming hug. >> it's 1985. it's princess diana's first trip to the united states, and it's america's first chance to get a look at the woman that the world has gone absolutely crazy for. >> i meaning the excitement about princess diana coming to america and the energy around

her arrival. you could feel it in the air. >> the cumin seiferted on meeting at least some of the people who had stood for hours waiting to see her. >> i think there is something in diana's story that it embodies the american dream. >> when they saw her, the crowds went wild. the distant cheering rewarded with another wave. >> you saw this beautiful young aristocrat become a princess on the global stage. she also had those traits that are synonymous with americans. she was friendly and opened. she fulfilled their dreams. she grew up and married the prince so that's what every little american girl thinks about. >> diana did have a whole fresh ingredient that americans hadn't experienced before. she did not seem to be removed from them. >> this was the height of the special relationship that existed between the uk and the

u.s. i think what's less well known is perhaps the relationship that prince charles had with the reagans. >> charles had become very good friends with ronald and nancy reagan. he met them originally back in 1974, and he and nancy reagan just really hit it off. and later on she was one of the first people outside the royal circle that he confided that his marriage was in deep trouble. >> back at the white house, all was ready for a formal dinner. it was an evening of high glamor, the largely show business guest list chosen by mrs. reagan. >> the rageans put together a star-studded dinner. it was just hollywood meets the white house meets the royal family. >> people like clint eastwood, john travolta, neil diamond, every socialite that nancy

reagan knew. >> john, are you going to dance with the princess tonight? >> if she would like me to. >> the highlight of the evening was nancy reagan organizing "saturday night fever" star diana to order. >> i think diana thrived in the moments when the spotlight shown show brightly on her. >> diana wasn't fazed at all. she loved to dance. here she was dancing with john travel tax one of the most celebrated dancers in the world at that time. >> she just came alive. >> it showed diana's star power was really equal to that of a major hollywood star. >> screaming for the princess wherever she went. >> got something that i don't know. >> thousands gathered along pennsylvania avenue to catch a glimpse of the motorcade bringing the visitors to the national gallery of art. >> charles agreed to have a press conference to talk about the exhibit that he was opening, and all they wanted to talk

about was diana. >> to the core of the issue first, had the princess enjoyed her dance with mr. travolta. >> well, i'm not a glove puppet so i can't answer for that, i'm afraid, but i think you enjoyed, it didn't you, darling? would be an idiot if she didn't enjoy dancing with john travolta, wouldn't she. all right. >> the tension there was palpable. >> he was exasperated. >> not diana's idea. nancy reagan asked john travolta to ask her to dance. she was very much trying to make her husband and his family proud, but if these moments when her star shown so bright it just overshadowed everything that he was doing and he could not hide his disgust. >> charles had been to the united states a number of times and everywhere he went he was the center of attention, of adulation. when he was in los angeles

meeting a group of women. they squeezed his hands so hard, the diamond rings he was wearing cut into his hands. >> i shook his hand. that's enough for me. i mean, it's just unbelievable. >> that was the backdrop against which his visits to the united states with diana have to be seen. the more she took the spotlight from him the more inadequate he felt. >> charles felt outshone and diana felt her efforts to enhance the couple's reputation were completely unappreciated. increasingly her public success was making their private relationship a lot more difficult. they only cover select cities with 5g. and with coverage of over 96% of interstate highway miles, they've got us covered.

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>> it's five years into diana and charles' marriage. to the outside world, it's still the fairy tale, but the reality is something completely different. >> even though diana was the most feted woman in the world and everyone adored her, actually the one man she really wanted to adore her did not. >> maybe it was because he was always in love with another person. diana certainly beloved that all along this sort of shadow of camila was always there. i'm not sure that's entirely true. i think they make a real effort

to make the marriage work, but he -- he was a selfish man. >> princess diana when i asked her about prince charles always said that he was the love of her life. if diana got the love and affection from prince charles, she never would have dreamt of looking elsewhere. >> diana herself said that when she was in her early 20s she fell madly in love with a map that worked for the royal household. >> by diana's own admission, she played with fire and she got badly burned. >> i was the personal protection officer for the princess of wales for nine years. barry was the protection officer in our teernlsam, and i started notice her behavior was very unusual when we were anywhere near barry manachy which certainly was indicating that something may have happened between them so i decided to talk to her about it, and for

the first 20 minutes she absolutely categorically denied it, but then she told me exactly what was going on. she was having some sort of relationship with him. >> she was smitten. she's having her first crush after her marriage. she never had a boyfriend before she met charles and she's living life almost in reverse. >> i do understand why someone like princess diana who didn't have a loving husband or a happy marriage would become susceptible to looking at barry manarchy. he's epping everything that she doesn't have in her life, warmth, strength, presence. >> my main thing was to try and persuade her just how dangerous and impossible it would be for her to remain with the boys. it was just lunacy. >> it was incredibly high risk for diana. it's right under charles' nose, and it also kind of makes you wonder how much attention diana was getting from charles if he was missing it.

>> the way she felt was so strong. it wasn't going to stop. we arranged for barry to be transferred away from the department. the excuse being used to the prince of wales was his domestic circumstances, the hours he was working. they went on a joint engagement, and she was clearly very upset. the prince of wales approached me and said why is the princess behaving in the way she is? what on earth is the matter? so i said you've got to talk to her, and he said well i've tried all that and the only thing that seems to be upsetting her is that barry manarchy is going back to uniform and if she's that upset barry can stay. at that stage i was forced to say well, sir, if he stays then i'm afraid i'll have to leave,

and i think at that point the penny dropped. he was utterly shocked and was clearly, clearly very upset. the popular perception is that the prince of wales was straying all the way through his marriage and that is definitely unequivocally not the case. the first person that strayed was the princess. he went back to see mrs. parker bowles after he learned about her affair with manarchy. nobody is the villain. in my view everybody is a victim. he was under a lot of pressure to get married, and she, too, was a victim of this whole process. >> people were imagining that charles went back to camila. >> he never stopped loving her and when the opportunity arose he went back to her.

>> when you analyze the two different affairs there's a huge difference. charles was rejecting diana because he loved somebody else. diana was never really rejecting charles. she was just desperate to be loved. >> for princess diana it was the realization of her worst fear because she had always suspected that camila was her husband's great love. >> diana was at a really low end. there was even a moment when she took a pen knife and cut herself. her bulimia became very intense. they were in vancouver, and they were touring this exhibition. diana sort of moved close to charles and sort of touched his arm and then she started to slide down to the floor and she fainted. >> the police took the whole thick very seriously.

in slow motion you can see she was in some distress, the prince attempting to look concerned followed behind. >> it was all very embarrassing. >> she looked reasonably well recovered at the evening's government dinner, but it was probably a banquet she could have done without. >> even though doctors advise that she stay in bed, prince charles insisted that she accompany him. >> the prince made a joke of the whole affair. >> it's real entirely due to the extremely advantageous conditions that pertain in british columbia which have ensured that she's about to have -- which is really where she fainted. >> he showed a lack of sympathy. it was an indication that he didn't care as much that something had gone out of the

marriage. >> charles did not understand her eating disorder. i think it was frustrating and confusing to him. >> it was a very different era where people didn't understand eating disorders very well at all. but he actually went one further than that. he made cruel jokes. >> charles would say is that -- >> there's so much shame attached to the condition. it's pretty much the worse thing you can say to someone battling that kind of disease. it's her coping mechanism. she feels with her bulimia that she can control something in her life. >> so much of the attention around her was on her appearance. her thinness was often celebrated, and it just continued into a real damaging cycle. >> the royal family does not know how to deal with this because bulimia centers around

emotions so she's alone and she's longing for somebody to love her and to support her. >> james here was a very dashing 28-year-old cavalry officer. diana first spotted james hewitt on the day of fearing and prince andrew's wedding. he was on duty at buckingham palace and she sort of threw him this flirty comment, nice outfit, something along those lines and eventually invited him to a drinks party. >> knowing that james hewitt was a riding instructor, she invited him to give her riding lessons to help her overcome her longstanding childhood fear of horses. >> he was someone who was fun, who was unswerving in his devotion to her, but also there was a tremendous excitement and romance. >> it was amazingly difficult for them to find somewhere to meet privately. we would go to windsor to meet with hewitt for riding lessons.

>> unlike charles and kamilla who aknew about their relationship and host them at their big estates and homes, diana couldn't do that. he was put in the boot of cars. driven to kensington palace. >> she was invited to go to his mother's house near exeter where we would go for weekends. it was a remote location, but it was always a tense time because she was very easily spotted. if the princess of wales and hewitt went for a walk on the woods or on a beach somewhere, she certainly wasn't looking like a princess. she would be in normal day clothes, heed, dark glasses. the hair would be covered up. >> although she may have some romantic notion of going off with james hewitt, i think she was also very much a realist. she was the princess of wales and she was the mother of the future king. she couldn't just go off and live with this rather

impoverished army officer. >> there was no question of divorce then and so it was a fantasy for them both. >> charles absolutely knew about the affair, and in fact approved of it because it gave him more time and space with mrs. parker bowles and amongst the aristocracy that was norm, and what they found unfathomable about diana is she simply wouldn't accept that this was the norm. she did not want that. she wanted the life that she had hoped for on their wedding day, and she kept fighting for it.

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known each other since they were teenagers, and diana introduced her to prince andrew. she was the matchmaker. fergie was very exuberant, and she was fun dab loving. >> my husband said she would be like fergie and jolly where i was so miserable. maybe i ought to be like fergie. >> how hurtful would that have been. her own husband was asking her to be more like this newcomer on the scene. >> fergie was a real outdoors girl. the queen really liked fergie so fergie began to emerge as a

rival to diana which began inject competition in that relationship. >> she enjoyed where she was and she ruled everybody. >> diana took her husband's criticisms to heart, and when he said why can't you be more like fergie, she said i can be fun. i'll show you fun. >> alas there were pictures of the two of them poking friends in the bottom with their umbrellas. >> dressing up as police women and going to an in abelle's nightclub on prince andrew's stag night. >> they were skiing together and messing around on the slopes. >> all these kinds of things irritated prince charles beyond belief and diana realized that this wasn't really her. she wasn't this boy strois sloan

ranger. >> the press were calling her disco di and she was perceived as being frivolous. >> diana had an epiphany. she said i might be young but i can't act the way other people do, and it really set her on a separate path. most of her public engagements had been about supporting prince charles and his work and she starting to do things on her own right. she chose things that were on the margins that traditionally the royals shied away, from people dispossessed by society, people who had been neglected. >> she wanted to help people who were marginal bicorized because as she sawed to me parks truckers i can do this, because i'm one of them. she understood what it was like to be rejected. >> it was a dynamic in her marriage, the fact that her mother left her, feelings of being rejected or abandoned were

always there. >> there is now a danger that has become a threat to us all. it is a deadly disease, and there is no nope cure. >> in the mid-1980s, aids was massively stigmatized. there was a huge amount of ignorance about it, and it was bound up with a huge amount of homophobia so gay men were represented as being debauchd and diseased. >> the broderick ward of the middlesex husband is the only specially designed aids ward in britain. today the princess was worth all the government propaganda put together. >> diana's a heterosexual princess, but she decides to take on aids as one of the main causes she's going to champion. this shows you just how fearless and radical she really was. >> he spoke out to her about the myths surrounding aids. >> the mere fact that she wasn't wearing gloves and that she

shook hands with the patients and myself. >> such as the aids stigma that people in the new ward were afraid to be seen and photographed with the prinsz. >> she agreed to a still photograph and then only with his back to the camera. >> the sight of her shaking hands with somebody who had hands in the 1980s was extraordinary. >> that picture went around the world, and it immediately busted the myth that you could transmit aids via human touch. >> it was really one of the most pivotal moments in her life. it showed her that she had the power to make a difference. >> diana realized the power of her royal platform, and i think she was at the forefront of this new kind of celebrity, philanthropy.

>> traditionally the royals supported causes that were very safe. the royal family's reaction to diana choosing aids and hiv as a cause is why can't you do something nice, a little less controversial, but diana just plowed on. she continued on with what mattered to her. >> the knowledge that what she was doing was doing real good for people who really needed it and gave herself a sense of self-worth. >> that was how she found her fulfillment. >> it real informed her life from then on.

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princess diana stepped off the concord with a de mur smile that is practically her trademark. >> broadcast live on every tv station in town. >> there she is. >> 1989 diana pushed behind the scenes to take her first solo overseas trip to new york. this was her first chance to show what she could do on her own. >> out on the town turning heads in her elegant white gown. >> new york is a famously skeptical city. so to have the glitzy evident member of the royal family arrive in their city, a lot of them loved it but it wouldn't be

new york if it didn't provoke a bit of criticism. >> the new york post said that she was high priced welfare mother who was living off her husband's money. what can she possibly be doing here that is going to make a difference. part of her power was -- >> diana confounded expectations because she went to parts of the city where they would not expect a princess to show up. >> diana went to harlem where she visited a pediatric aids unit. >> the princess had an emotional meeting with children suffering from aids and wanted to know more about children whose aids was complicated by their mothers' drug abuse. >> he was 8 years old at the time princess diana came to harlem hospital and i was engs

sited my mom would be welcoming princess diana to the hospital. >> she came in and she said where are this he? we just took her to where the children were. she could not wait to get there. >> during the late '80s crack cocaine ravaged our neighborhood and with that drug addiction came promiscuous behaviors, sharing needles, many modes of transmission of hiv and aids. it was a pandemic. when these children were born they were abandoned not only with hiv but also severely addicted to crack. >> as she went into the room, there was a little boy and she went over and she picked him up and he kind of just held on to her arm. and you could just see the love that this woman had for humanity. she was letting people know that you can be with them and you can love them. >> staff tell the princess they were surprised she'd come to harlem hospital a place never

visited by any american president and few major political leaders. >> at the time even our own government hadn't dealt with the aids crisis. they couldn't get a grip on it. she really gave it the attention it merited. >> she chose to come to a small community hospital in the middle of a minority area during a crack epidemic. i can't say enough about the courage that takes. i thought it was amazing that she would come to my neighborhood and actually say let me see your struggle and let me lend some assistance to it. >> diana had proved her range she cob the up town princess but then also dive really deep into the social topics of the time and accomplish real good in the world. >> the press turned on a dime. suddenly she was as one headline said, divine.

>> diana is eight years into her marriage and has come a really long way in that time. she now feels strong enough to confront the major torment in her life. that is the other woman. >> she accompanies prince charles to a birthday party and among the guests is camilla parker bowles. >> i sat myself up. >> she went and got a stunning outfit. she went and got some very special lingerie because she had decided so she told me that she was going to make charles realize what he was missing. diana still thought as late as 1989 there might be a chance to salvage something. >> it's like entering the lion's den. it's like going into enemy territory where everyone else is in on the secret, but you're the butt of the joke.

>> everybody at that party is part of the charles and camilla axis. they are jaw droppingly astonished when diana marches down stairs and speaks to camilla >> i was terrified. i said i'd like to know exactly what's going on. >> just for diana to look camilla in the eye and say her piece is a huge show of power. the key phrase in what diana says to camilla is not i know what's going on. it's don't treat me like a fool. >> she said to me, you've got everything you've ever wanted. all the men in the world fall in love with you. so i said i want my husband. >> the moment camilla basically said, well you should be happy with what you've got, diana must have realized oh, my god this is going to go on forever.

camilla's not sorry. she's not even pretending to be sorry. >> i cried like i've never cried before. it was seven years of pent up coming out. when i woke up i felt a shift. i said what i felt. >> diana's decision to confront camilla was sort of a breakthrough for her. >> from this point on, diana becomes increasingly disillusioned with the sham that is her marriage. she is about to take control of her own story. >> marriage offers civility. here you have her husband the future king of england in love with someone else. >> she was like a tinder box waiting to explode. >> isn't it normal to feel angry and want to change a situation that is hurting you? >> this was her going totally

rogue. she was risking it all. not knowing where it would lead. >> diana is effectively planting a bomb under the royal family. she wanted her truth to be told. marriage offers stability. >> diana is in a loveless marriage and really is living a lie. >> for many of these marriages, reality fails to live up to expectations. >> here you have her husband, the future king of england, in love with someone else. amongst the aristocracy, that was the norm. >> but whose norm is it?