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ask about kisqali. and long live life. ♪ let's go! ♪ what you gon' do? you ain't talkin' 'bout nothin'! ♪ ♪ good evening, welcome to a special edition of "outfront." i'm erin burnett. tonight a survivor's powerful story. for the first time we are hearing from a michigan state university professor. marco diaz-munoz teaching his literature class when a gunman burst in and attacked his

classroom. he says he fired 15 shots. in all three students were killed. five others injured. throughout this hour you will hear what he saw that night and how he and his students are now dealing with the horror they have lived and the loss they are suffering. it comes as we are learning new details about the shooter, according to police he had a note listing more potential targets including two schools in new jersey. he had a disturbing amount of ammunition and weapons on his body and backpack including two 9 millimeter handguns nine loaded magazines and pouch with 50 rounds of ammunition. i want to bring in miguel marquez who spoke to the professor with this gripping interview and, miguel, as we begin with the special coverage, have police found any connection yet between the shooter and the school? >> reporter: yeah, this is what is very frustrating to professor diaz-munoz and everybody on this campus. there is still no connection that anybody has established

between him, the school, berkey hall, this particular classroom but what played out that night, it just put ordinary people in extraordinary circumstances. so you're halfway through the course on monday night. >> yeah, it was like past 8, 8:00 in the evening. >> what happens? >> all of a sudden i was in the middle of introducing some topic and i heard some explosion. i am not familiar with the sound of gunshots. i've never been close to a gunshot other than i see what i hear in a movie or tv with gunshots but this sounded more like an explosion like a generator had blown up or some electrical -- >> it was loud, in other words. >> very, very loud. i did think it was gunshots but there was one, two, three, so it was like three.

>> outside the classroom? >> outside the classroom. so by then something started dawning on me, why would there be so many, so one followed after another and then i started thinking that these might be gunshots. and then all of a sudden this masked individual with a hat that you couldn't identify walked into the back door. >> reporter: professor marco diaz-munoz was teaching cuban cultural identity in classroom 114. 45 student were in class. less than an hour remained seconds after the shots one door was opened never fully entering the classroom. >> we all froze. i think somebody said something about, you know, a shooter. i think a lot of them stood up, some of them froze in place.

some of them, i don't know if i screamed just, you know, find cover, go under the desks. a lot of them went under. curled up in a ball under their chairs and others run, and the guy stepped in about a foot inside the classroom, not completely, just like a foot and then or even less than a foot, enough that i could see this figure and it was so horrible because, you know, when you see someone who is totally masked, you don't see their face, you don't see their hands, you don't see -- it was like seeing a robot. it was like sewing something not human standing there and all i could see was this silvery kind of a steel shiny weapon.

i don't think it was a pistol. i think it was something larger than that, and then i could hear then the shot and they're just as loud as the ones in the hallway and it was just a nightmare. i think everybody under adrenaline did whatever they could. i don't know how long he stood there, probably -- i mean he shot at least 15 shots. one after the other, one after the other. >> bang, bang, bang. >> bang, bang, bang. >> reporter: police say mcrae carried two 9 millimeter semiautomatic handguns and nine loaded magazines and had another 50 bullets in a small bag. >> did he seem to be aiming at anyone in particular or anything? >> i think that he was mostly aiming at the students in the back, but there were some students closer to me that he

also got. and then at some point, because when this is happening, it's like an eternity. you cannot tell how long -- but he at least shot 15 times. >> reporter: police say mcrae may have carried it out because he felt slighted after local businesses asked him to leave in the past. it's not clear why he targeted msu and this particular class. the shooter went a long way to carry out this hideous act from his home near lancing's old town to michigan state university in east lansing, some five miles away. he killed two students and injured five others in professor diaz-munoz's class in berkey hall then the nearby student union and killed one more student. police say he then apparently walked nearly all the way back toward his home, another four miles or so before killing himself just a few blocks away from his lancing home.

diaz-munoz case when the shooting stopped he did the only thing he could think of, bar the other door to the classroom so the shooter couldn't come back in. >> and at that moment, because i don't recall what i did between his starting to shoot and what i'm going to tell you just now, i just -- my intuition told me he's walking down the hall and he's going to enter the door i'm closest to so i threw myself at that door, and i squatted and i held the door like this so that my weight would keep it from -- and i was putting my foot on the wall and holding like this so that he couldn't open it. all the time aware that he could just shoot the door handle and open it. but the only thing i thought i could do was that. at least attempt to stop it. and that lasted for about ten minutes, it was an eternity or 12 minutes. in the meantime, i told my

students and that i remember, i told the students, just escape through the windows. >> reporter: several students got out through the windows. others stayed and began providing care to the wounded. >> some kids that were very heroic and were helping those that were wounded and some of them, i don't know much about how to, you know, what a paramedic does or what you do in a situation like that, but my students kind of knew what to do. they were trying to cover the wounds with their hands so they didn't bleed to death and then i understood what they were trying to do. they were heroic because they could have escaped through the windows, they stayed helping their classmates and then there was, you know, finally i saw policemen, i could see by the uniform this was not the gun, the shooter but policemen, so i finally kind of like let go of the door and then they opened the door. they asked me if i was a professor. i said, yes and then they came

in. it was like maybe four or five policemen that came into the room with guns, and then then at that moment i started checking and see what i could do for my students. >> reporter: it was then the true horror of this mass shooting came into full view. >> i've never seen so much blood. there were two girls that seemed to me that were in the worst condition. oh, before that, some people were saying, help me, help me, it hurts and then there was this guy in the middle of one of the rows who was saying, i don't want to die. i don't want to die. i cannot breathe. there was a girl that was kind of stuck in the middle under her head under one of the chairs and i could see them moving their mouths as if either asking for

help, praying or saying something and their eyes opened and their hands doing some kind of movement and then somebody turned, i don't remember if it was a paramedic or student and said they're gone. they're gone. >> reporter: all of this, the shooting itself, erin, less than a minute. three promising lives gone. so many others here at msu, their lives changed forever. erin. >> as you said, a minute but when it was happening it felt like an eternity and i'm sure those images as he just said will never, never leave him or anyone else to watch someone die. miguel is going to be with us. so much more of his conversation is ahead. the challenges that his students faced when they were trying to escape out the windows and why he feels guilty despite his bravery in trying to stop them from being killed. later the pain of coping with the attack, now nights later as it starts to sink in.

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conducting this heartbreaking interview back with me now. miguel, the terrifying thing is a mass shooting happens just way too often these days. there was another one after that this week, right, the mall in el paso and i'm sure many of these students had grown up doing drills, right, but they were drills. but yet the professor just described to you the reaction in the classroom when the shooting began and it's incredible what he described already. did the training help? >> reporter: will, look, it's such a short period of time of such intense activity and so many of the kids and so many of these young people we spoke to, they remember newtown, just 14 months ago there was a high school shot up and several kids were killed there. they have trained many, many times. some of them hopped into action but when this gunman entered, some of them were just lucky they didn't get killed, as well. >> so you're in your class.

it's 8:15 or so on monday night. 45 students are in there with you. this man walks in. and he fires in quick succession like that. did you realize people were being shot? >> oh, yes, the first thing that run through my mind is like, this is not happening. this cannot be happening is like you don't believe such horror is happening -- and at that moment i kind of was preparing myself to be killed. well, if i'm killed, i'm killed but these are kids. these are 18-year-old, 19-year-olds and when you're a professor, you develop a sense of mentorship for them and you also want to protect them. >> reporter: what would you do seconds to act confusion, fear and chaos surrounding you? the classroom at msu's berkey hall, professor diaz-munoz has taught the same course in the same classroom for five years.

room 114 is his favorite. the rectangular room around 50 feet long with room for around 80 students has two doors, front and back and windows along one side. it has several rows of fixed seats and desks, diaz-munoz was in the front when the gunman partially entered through the back door, said nothing and began firing. some students hid, some froze. some were able to escape to the windows but even that wasn't easy. >> told the student, just escape through the windows, just kick the windows open and escape through the windows and the first line of windows closer to the rows of seat are -- couldn't be kicked. i mean couldn't be broken. they are made out of very hard glass, probably for, you know, insulation. so they attempted and they couldn't open those but then the second set of windows higher up,

they were open and there was big enough an opening so they started escaping that way. >> they couldn't get out through the bottom part of the window. >> no, but they did, so they were climbing. >> you're on the ground floor. >> i was holding the door telling them to escape through the windows and probably about ten or 15 escaped through the windows. they climbed the windows, it was high so maybe as high as, you know, maybe the top of this ceiling and i don't know how they damaged -- whether they hurt themselves, they might have but athe drone lynn, you know, moving everybody, they were able to escape 10 or 15 of them through the windows. >> reporter: the gun violence archive says there have been 72 mass shootings in america in 2023. six weeks into the new year. a mass shooting described as four or more people killed in a single shooting incident excluding the shooter. did he utter anything, say anything before he shot? >> no.

i didn't hear him say anything. if anybody heard anything it would have been the students that were in the back. >> but the students quickly realized what was happening? >> yes. >> and tried to either protect themselves or flee. >> yes, i think they screamed, shooter, or something to that effect so that everybody just, you know, a lot of them just, you know, just went under the seats, others were frozen, i think those were probably the ones he killed. >> reporter: two of the three students killed in this mass shooting were in professor diaz-munoz's class, all five injured and still in the hospital were also in his class. it's nearly three days on from this horrific experience. what are you feeling, if anything, guilt, anger, fear? >> guilt because i didn't throw myself at this guy to stop it, but he would have just simply --

>> you were also across the room. >> yeah, yeah, by the time i reach him i would have already been on the floor. guilt that i didn't fight more and scream more to get help for those kids that were on the floor. >> but you don't know that they could have been saved? >> i don't know that. someone said to me when i was calling attention -- they are gone. that's what they said, they are gone and i don't know. someone said something about their pulse. i don't know. i don't know when a human is gone and when a human is not. >> so to see this, to be the person responsible for them and then to see this. >> and to see that i couldn't stop it, it was the worst thing that i could not -- it's like -- they became like my family. they are like my kids. i have a daughter their age.

so to me it was like, you know, seeing my daughter or anybody that age being killed and under my watch, under my watch. so that was just horrendous. i don't know how to explain to you the guilt, the horror, the guilt, the pain that i felt and i still feel, it's just right now it's more like i'm telling you a movie. >> reporter: police entered the classroom minutes after the gunman left, paramedics a minute or two after that. a third student was shot and killed at the student union building just a short way from berkey hall. the dead, arielle anderson, alexandra verner and brian fraser, all, young, bright students just starting out on promising lives. >> my students, my students, i have a lot of them who really thank me at the end of the semester. >> kids you assume would live a full, productive life.

>> productive life and give something back to society. studious kids, good grades and it broke my heart to see, you know, these two that i couldn't help. >> reporter: so fight, flee or barricade yourself in. i think we have all thought about it as americans given how often these sort of things happen. what would you do in these situations? this happened so quickly, it was so intense, it was very loud. it was confusing. these students by the time they did react to what was actually happening, it was too late. erin. >> all right, miguel, and next more, professor munoz will share the personal trauma of this week as this school he knows as a teacher and one-time student becomes the latest mass shooting. this special edition continues.

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michigan state university shooting that left three students dead and others injured sharing his story with our miguel marquez and talking about the trauma that now haunts him day in and day out. >> reporter: professor marco diaz-munoz has taught at msu for 15 years. he went to graduate school here too. >> i love msu. i have the best memories of msu. i love my classes. i am given a lot of freedom so i do what i enjoy and i lover most of all my students. they to me are the reason i'm there and they are the reason why i'm glad i put on a jacket and i dress up and i go. they are the reason for my being in -- having something to do that is good every day. >> reporter: the costa rican native loves his job and his adopted country. he was concerned about mass shootings in america before. but never thought he'd come face-to-face with one. what have the last few days been like? >> well, because it was so

painful and so haunting, i have a chronic insomnia so i have medication to make myself sleep. so what i did is i have been sleeping the last two days just wake up for maybe a bowl of soup, take my medications again but i know i cannot continue to do that. i know my students need me. i know my students need to know what to do. the ones who were not part of this tragedy and especially the ones who were part of this tragedy, so they need to hear from me. i have to somehow, you know, do what i'm supposed to do if i'm a mentor to them and i cannot just be under the covers and not address them. >> reporter: his fear and doubts now turning to anger. why do people need to hear what you experienced on monday night? >> because it's very different to hear in the news a statistic,

three more kids died or 12 more died than to see what i saw. i think if those senators or lawmakers saw what i saw, not just hear statistics, they would be shamed into action. i'm an academic. so i can present a subject and rationalize it and convince you and turn around and present the opposite subject and rationalize it to convince you. we can rationalize anything, package it in a way that the public accepts. but -- >> you're saying the time for rationalization is over. >> i think rationalization is what lawmakers use as a sham to protect their position of power and to deviate from the real subject. >> reporter: diaz-munoz now sees clearer than he ever has, guns,

violence answer fear are changing america in ways big and small. >> i don't know fill's be nervous every time i teach. i don't know what the university is going to do. they're going to put locks in rooms so that you can lock the room from the inside. i think that's one of the things that might happen. i don't know that means we're going to have to use gate cards to enter into a building and leave, but what does that say about our society? i think, you know, the university campus should be an open place, even for the community to benefit from the existence of the campus. and now we're becoming more and more, you know, sheltered and those who have access and those who don't have access are out and polarize society even more between the have and have-nots because this is not disconnected from covid. >> your instinct is to have more

openness, more -- >> well, that's the way a normal society should be, a healthy society should be. but we're in such a divided society. >> and so much to talk about. we'll air more of it in a moment. miguel is with me, though. also want to add in to this to talk about what we've heard here of your amazing interview, adrienne broaddus covering the story since it broke, i remember as you were driving there, adrienne, you joined us on the phone when we had no idea what was happening and there was a shooter on the loose, onmilly'ser also with us, our chief law enforcement and intelligence analyst. john, let me start with you. the professor telling miguel the gunman walked into the back door of the classroom. he said at least 15 shots were fired and then the gunman left and then, you know, now we know eight loaded magazines in the backpack, 50 rounds of loose ammunition and all of this, i think one -- he said so many

powerful things to miguel but felt like an eternity even though it was a minute. >> well, 15 shot, that's a full magazine plus one in the chamber so when he walks out he hasn't decided to expend mercy. he's going to reload. he's got eight other magazines, eight times 14, plus the 50 rounds and he's got a letter in his pocket that has a target list. so there is the idea that he intended to escape. he walked off. he got pretty far away. he wasn't, you know, aware that they were looking for his exact description. was he going to continue shooting at other places on this target list the next day? was there more carnage in store? we don't know. >> we don't know and, adrienne -- >> we certainly know it could have been worse. >> there was the bravery in that room. i mean i thought, you know, adrienne, one thing professor munoz said to miguel there were students that could have jumped out the window and everything right about doing that and some of them nonetheless did not and

stayed to literally try to put their hands to staunch the bleeding for those that were dying. i know you're an alumna of the university and you know it very well. it was clear the night it was happening you knew exactly the locations and could give us such specific descriptions. how is this impacting that community? >> reporter: erin, spartans are strong, but part of that strength, well, i shouldn't say but because that would erase what i said before. and part of that strength is admitting when you are scared and we've seen spartans say, hey, i'm scared. i'm afraid. they are on edge, especially with classes set to resume on monday. one of the traditions here at michigan state university is to take a picture with the sparty statue which is behind me, it's now become a memorial for those three would were killed monday night. but you take a picture with sparty on the first day of class and then you take another

picture with sparty on the last day of class when you're in your cap and gown and you look back and you see what has changed. think about those students who took a picture four years ago, the ones who are supposed to graduate in a few months, they will look back and say, hey, i am now a survivor of a mass shooting. something some of them tell me they thought would never happen. i think about the times me and my friends returned to campus. we come back here for celebrations, i came back when my younger sister graduated from college. we come back for homecoming but coming back for a mass shooting, that's something people say they didn't expect, even though in the same breath they say they won't be surprised if it happens again. tonight campus is quiet. it reminds me of the holiday break. this is the only time where the only noise you hear is that of

the bus. no one is here. no one is here. some students we heard say they're afraid to go back in the classroom monday. it's not just the students. i spoke with my friend also a professor here, bob gold. he says there's no lesson plan on walking into a classroom monday after all of this has happened and he wants to strike the right tone. but how do you do that? >> miguel, i mean, there's the dealing with the shock of it and as you say with the numbers you gave, 72 mass shootings so far this year in the first six weeks of the year, defined as four or more not counting the shooter. there's an understanding academically it can happen but in the moment, the professor said it is so very different and there is this question of why, not just in the macro but in the micro, john talking about the note found in the shooter's wallet. and that's really all we know. i mean, there's so much we don't know right now, it seems,

miguel, even days later. >> reporter: i think this is senselessness and you see students, you see faculty members trying to grapple and make sense of this senselessness. i've seen so many students walking around, they're carrying a flower to bring it to one of the memorials that's popped up on campus and they're in tears or they're standing there just looking at the memorial and in tears or they walk up to the memorial and they break into tears. it is just -- it is incredibly hard to understand how something like this could happen. this guy seems to have no connection to the school at all. and the only thing police are saying right now he feels -- he seems to have felt slighted because certain businesses in the area over the past several months or years threw him out or had asked him to leave at some point and that may have been why he had that list. it is just frustration, confusion, chaos and it's going

to be really hard for folks here to sort of make sense of it. it's impossible. >> impossible and so many emotional ways and, john, from the law enforcement perspective, though, as we do try to get answers to whatever extent they can exist, nonsensical as they may be emotionally what stands out to you about the gunman's note? >> well, i think the gunman's note aside from the practical parts of it. there is a target list and addresses and claims there's a team of 20 people, but when you get between the lines if you've looked at other gunmen in other cases he a classic profile. he's an injustice collector. these businesses that slighted him or threw him out or didn't hire him, he has stored these things and they have rotted within him. he is also a loner. he's isolated. he writes in the note they hate me. why do they hate me? i'm alone. i'm neglected. i am what you made me, a killer. and the real question, erin, is i get the places where he had

run-ins but there's no real explanation for going to michigan state university, you could posit that a guy completely isolated, completely alone and very angry looked on that university as the center of town where people belonged, where people were together, where people were succeeding and he wanted to try and break that which obviously despite the tragedy from all we see tonight he certainly did not. >> all right. well, thank you and "outfront" we'll hear more from professor diaz-munoz. the fear that remained after the killer walked out of that room as john said clearly with the intent of reloading. the fear remained but why. back in the classroom with those students and fellow survivors, we'll be back.

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welcome back to a special edition of "outfront." the survivor's heartbreaking account of the michigan state university shooting. one professor who says he never thought he'd see his own students gunned down despite that horror, though, he is speaking out vowing that he will continue to do so because he

says he knows his students need him. miguel marquez is back with us and, miguel, you know, one of the things he told you a few moments ago, that he hadn't been able to sleep and only able to sleep with basically taking sleeping pills and waking up for a couple of hours to have soup and go back to sleep but knows he can't continue that way. >> reporter: yeah, look, he is not doing great. this has been extremely difficult for him. clearly, i mean, he's very clinical. he's a professor. you can tell that this is a guy who is used to talking to people and being very rational and intellectual and intellectizing things. this is extremely difficult for him to understand and he is desperate to reconnect with the school and his students. traumatic doesn't begin to describe what marco diaz-munoz and his students experienced monday night. he says he wants, needs to

reconnect with them but isn't sure how. he's been drafting a letter. >> so those kids to me are kind of like my family now and i want to see them. i want to help them and i want to inspire them and i want to teach them and i want to help them finish the semester in a positive note as it can be under the circumstances, so there is a part of me that is ready to go and face them and pick up where we left off, not the same way, but i think they need -- i think i need to see them. i think they need to see me. and be in a classroom and kind of somehow build from the broken pieces. >> reporter: progress is slow. >> there is a part of me that feels like i want to go under the blankets and take more pills and not wake up for awhile. but there's also another part of me kicking in which is the part

that -- and i feel like i want to not remember these scenes and not have to go teach that class, but there is another part of me that feels a great need, a strong need to see my students again in the sense that i need to see that they are alive, i need to see their faces because the last time we saw each other was under this horrible experience, and somehow it makes me -- at that moment my students became kind of part of my family. >> reporter: a family borne out of violence and grief. >> i think us, all human beings are capable of both. extreme violence and extreme, you know, greatness, benevolence. >> love. >> love. i think which -- what path life leads us to because of our

circumstances and our decisions, but we can do both. in my situation and in what i saw in my classroom, in the midst of all that violence, you also saw the goodness of people. >> so he is really struggling to figure out how to re-engage with his community, the school, his students, he is working on that letter. he intends to go back to school. it's just a matter of when and how he's going to do it, erin. >> miguel, next a call for reaction. professor diaz-munoz with a message for lawmakers after this mass shooting.

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i think it's worth it. see the benefits of fresh food at betterforthem.com welcome back to a special edition of "outfront" bringing you this interview from a professor who survived the mass shooting at michigan state university and the details after the gunman left his classroom following the attack. >> we were still in panic because we didn't know whether he would walk in again or he was going to walk down the hall and enter the other door. we didn't know where he was. all we knew is he stepped out and then he could come in again. i was crying in that classroom seeing the damage done and the

pain and the horrible scene that my students were, especially those two girls, i cannot forget those images. >> and everyone is back with me. miguel, you know, he is talking about those two girls, and he watched people die. he talks about their hands were moving, their eyes opened and then they were gone. and he had to see that. he is speaking out to you because he wants a call to action. he doesn't want this to be academic to the lawmakers who, you know, so stubbornly in so much of this country refuse to do anything. he -- it sounds like from what he's saying to you that he's going to continue doing that. he will fight for this. >> yeah, this seems to be his hope, that speaking out the way he did, he spent a good amount of time with us, will help break that logjam that keeps meaningful gun reform from happening in this country. you know, as we have heard many

times on this -- on this particular shooting, the time for thoughts and prayers is over. the time for stalling, the time for discussion is over. we know what to do. we've been at it for awhile, and he is hoping that his words will help move it toward that. in michigan, the state has a pretty good chance of doing that the democrats in this last election bit of a blue wave control both houses and the governorship in the state and they're going to put forward a gun reform bill here fairly soon so we may see some action at least here in michigan. >> which, of course, is, you know, you take the good where you can get it, john. what i find amazing in every one of these stories you either find it was illegally obtained or somehow it wasn't. via some, often loophole we hadn't heard about until that one particular instance. it's like swiss cheese. whatever laws there are riddled with loopholes. >> well, professor munoz said, where is the shame and what we

know there is no shame. it's not a wake-up call. it's groundhog day in america. we've seen this, so you think, well, if it affected congress, they might think differently but gabby giver forths was shot and barely survived and nothing happened. steve scalise, part of the leadership was shot and badly wounded and nothing happened. in 2012 a movie theater full of families that came for a "batman" premiere, 12 dead, more wounded by an individual who shouldn't have had a gun let alone assault weapons then move to christmas of that same year and you have kindergartners and first graders in newtown, connecticut, so if these things didn't bring the shame that would bring change, they let the assault weapons bill sunset, changes they made ebbed away. another shooting that's number 74, you know, for the year isn't either. the question is what's it going to take? >> it's just horrific to imagine

that, right? you look at las vegas, you have more -- it's just unbelievable. adrienne, when you hear professor diaz-munoz talk about watching people die and the suffering, look, it's impossible to know and to even imagine if you weren't there. but we do know three students were killed. arielle anderson, brian fraser and alexandra verner. what is the latest you know about the students who survived, but were hospitalized and are still in hospital after the shooting? >> well, we know five were physically injured and they were initially listed in critical condition. and earlier today, we heard from the chair of the board of trustees here at michigan state university, she shared a bit of good news that one of those students no longer required critical care and the other four, unfortunately, are still fighting for their lives, still listed in critical condition and even though the condition of

that other student, erin, had been upgraded, keep in mind if you've had a loved one in the hospital, you know those days ebb and flow. you may not be in the icu anymore where they care for the most critical patients, but your road to recovery could still be long and our thoughts are with them. >> absolutely and what they're going through and fighting for their lives tonight and it's important and we are grateful to you, miguel, to be able to hear that story from professor diaz-munoz and share that so that everyone could try to for those moments understand. thank you and thanks to all of you for joining us. cnn tonight with alisyn camerota is after this. n advisor to create your perersonalized plan. -let's find the right investments for your goals okay, great. j.p. morgan wealth m managemen.

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- [announcer] do you have an invention idea but don't know what to do next? call invent help today. they can help you get started with your idea. call now 800-710-0020. good evening, everyone. i'm alisyn camerota. welcome to cnn tonight. two big health stories we're