up to a $1000 prepaid card with qualifying internet. yep, $1000. so switch to business internet from the company with the largest fastest reliable network and that powers more businesses than anyone else. learn how you can get $1000 back for your business today. comcast business. powering possibilities. -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com at the beginning of the show, i spoke with the father of the american hostage liat benin, who was just freed. he let us know they did connect. he tells us his daughter is in good spirits and seems hardly worse forfeiture ware. that being said, he said liat told him this was the most challenging thing she has ever faced. he is currently at the hospital, where he will be reunited with

his daughter in person shortly. his wife and grandchildren are waiting as well. thanks so much for joining tonight. "ac "ac 360" joins right now. tonight on 360 on a truce that has seen so many hostages freed from gaza, the latest on efforts ramping up to extend it. also tough talk on what might happen if it expires. later tonight my conversation with chris christie and why he's continuing his campaign and what he makes of the boost nikki haley just got. plus gayle king and charles barkley here to talk about their new show. just four hours from now, the six-day truce between israel and hamas is set to expire with no indication yet it will be extended, as it was two days ago. no word yet that talks underway have yielded any progress. and a short time ago, israel's prime minister benjamin netanyahu said his answer is,

quote, unequivocal, unquote. he said israel will fight until the end, his words, after what he called maximizing the phase of returning israeli hostages. the question is how long will the phase last. secretary of state blinken just landed in the region. bill burns arrived yesterday, both trying to delay hostilities. tonight another ten israelis are back in israel, including one american dual national. her father says a tour guide at the world holocaust remembrance center in jerusalem as well. whether there will be more hostages freed now very much in limbo and that much more to bear for family with loved ones being held. it cannot be easy for the family of -- today hamas claimed without providing evidence they'd been killed by an israeli air strike. israeli officials say they are investigating, but so far there are no answers. i want to start tonight with cnn's clarissa ward in tel aviv.

what more do we know about the latest release of hostages? >> reporter: so, 16 hostages have been released in total today, anderson. two of them dual russian israeli nationals. that was brokered in a separate agreement between the russian government and hamas. then there were four thai nationals and ten israeli nationals as well as that dual u.s. israeli citizen. also among those released today was raaya rotem. we talked about her before. she's the mother of hila rotem, who was released on sunday, who was held with emily hand. so, some much needed respite for that family and for hela. now of course everyone's attention on the remaining hostages, whether the truce continues. and no answers yet about that, anderson. >> are there any indications about the truce, if it would be extended? >> reporter: well, so, we've got

about four hours left until that deadline expires. the israeli government has said that it's prepared to consider it, although they have also been putting out a lot of statements to the effect that they are very much ready to continue their military operations if the criteria aren't met. hamas publicly has said they want to continue the truce. qatar has said that they're optimistic about the truce. secretary of state antony blinken has arrived in israel. he said publicly now that he very much wants to see the truce continues, that he believes it is essential in the sense that it has opened up the release of all these hostages but also that it has allowed desperately needed aid to get into gaza and given the people of gaza, the ordinary citizens of gaza, some respite from the consistent bombardment. now it's, sort of, a game of sit and wait and see what happens over these next four hours, as one can only assume critical last-minute negotiations are

ongoing, anderson. >> clarissa ward, thank you very much. i want to go next to axios political and foreign reporter and cnn's newest analyst, barack ravid. your reporting on what israeli officials say is a new offer from hamas. what have you learned? >> good evening, anderson. what i hear from israeli officials that in the last few hours hamas has sent through qatari and egyptian mediators. it wasn't even a proposal. it was, sort of, a feeler, asking whether israel would agree, for example, for a release of hostages that are not women and children because israel has set forward the criteria that says that the top priority is women and children. hamas gave another sort of proposal saying, is israel ready to accept less than ten hostages to be released, according to the agreement, hamas would have to release ten hostages in order to get one day of pause. israel rejected all those

feelers and said that if until 7:00 a.m. local time, which is four hours from now, it doesn't get a list, that is according to the priorities and the criteria that were set forward. in the agreement, it will resume the fighting. >> so, what do you make of that? is that that they don't have enough hostages in their control who are women and children? why would they be doing that? >> i think, what i hear from israeli officials is that there are two, i think, main thesis about what's going on. one is basically hamas does not have enough women and children under its custody. but i think what israeli officials mainly think is that hamas understands that the women and children are the main card that it has because it's a very sensitive issue for israeli

society, for israeli public opinion, and for hamas leaders to give up on this card at this point in the war would be a big problem because they're looking at what can be a very long war. >> if a pause is extended, how long do you think it could realistically last, if the hostage releases continue? do you see any possibility it could extend into a longer-term ceasefire? >> first, if hamas really has what israel thinks it has, which is another something like 30 women and children, you know, you have another three days of pause, which is not nothing. and in those three days, if hamas really agrees to release those women and children, there is a basis for a conversation on further deals. for example, on -- all the civilian men who are not soldiers and are held by hamas as hostages, a couple dozen people.

it could buy you another four, maybe five days of pause. so, there is a lot of room for maneuver. the main question is what hamas really wants to do. >> cnn is reporting that biden administration officials are talking to israeli counterparts about how to protect si civilia in southern gaza, if in fact, the idf ground operation moves into southern gaza, where you have hundreds of thousands of people who fled from the north. you reported today that biden spoke to netanyahu about his concerns about an israeli movement into the south. what's your understanding of the outcome of that, if any? >> so, i think i published earlier today on axios that shows the conversation between biden and netanyahu on sunday that was, sort of, marketed to us as a phone call about the hostages, was not about the hostages. it was about biden's main concern, and this is what happens if the pause ends and israel resumes its operation in southern gaza. and i think biden told

netanyahu, according to u.s. officials, something very clear. he told them what happened in northern parts of gaza cannot happen in the southern parts because you have 2 million palestinians there. and the main thing biden asked of netanyahu is to hold consultations between the u.s. and israel about the idf's operational plans ahead of any operation in southern gaza. and netanyahu actually agreed. >> the concern of course is -- i mean, again, it's all these people who have fled the south. israeli officials have said, well, there are a members of hamas who have also gone to the south because it's somewhat safer there and that there are tunnels there as well. how does israel do a ground operation in southern gaza with all those people there? where do those people -- where are they supposed to go? >> i totally agree with you because i just don't see how israel can really go on, like, a serious operation in southern

gaza without creating huge civilian casualties and damage to infrastructure. and you name it. israeli officials i spoke to earlier today said, you know, we have some plans for specific raids, for targeted air strikes, so on and so forth. again, i think it's going to be very, very dangerous and problematic. >> barack ravine, thanks so much. when we left you last night, idf forces were conducting -- today the palestinian health ministry said two children age 8 and 15 had been killed. ben wedeman visited the scene. we want to warn you, some of the video is graphic. >> reporter: israeli forces with bulldozers and jeeps entered the camp under the cover of darkness. this has become a routine. and this is the usual aftermath, wreckage and rubble, asphalt roads plowed down to the dirt. once the damage is repaired, there's another raid, and it's

the same thing all over again. for almost two years, a low-intensity war has been raging in the occupied west bank. residents here in janine's refugee camp say there have been more than 30 military incursions since august of this year. the camp is home to militants who israel has accused of involvement in attacks on israelis. but here, those whom israel calls terrorists are seen as fighters against a decades-long military occupation. this man is not a fighter. he works for the local government. but last week, israeli soldiers took over his home during yet another raid. as he shows me around, the remains of what was a family's life crunch under our shoes. brutal, is how he sums up the soldiers' behavior.

scars of battles past mark the camp's walls, debris on almost every corner. this woman shows me spent cartridges on the floor of her house, saying israeli troops used this room to fire down into the street. [ speaking in a non-english language ] "they took my husband, bound his hands, and pushed him outside in the cold," she says. "they kept him there from 6:00 in the evening until 5:00 in the morning." eventually the soldiers let him go, but took away their son, after ransacking his bedroom searching for weapons. 18-year-old -- was shot last thursday evening, shot through his bedroom window. his mother holding a blood-stained towel, recounts how israeli soldiers wouldn't allow medics to take him to hospital. [ speaking in a non-english language ] "i was sure we were going to the

hospital," she says. "we went downstairs. a second officer was there and maid the medics put the stretcher down." mahmoud bled to death in front of his home. tuesday night, israeli forces raided the camp again, sparking gun battles with militants. and in the process, israeli troops killed at least four people, including this 8-year-old boy. and then they left. >> reporter: now, a senior israeli military spokesman said that this was yet another antiterrorism operation in the janine refugee camp and that they managed to kill mohammad -- a senior islamic jihad commander. i'm reminded 21 years ago, i was covering another israeli incursion into the janine refugee camp, and they also killed commanders of other factions. and others have now taken their

place. and after this commander was killed, another will take his place. anderson? >> ben wedeman, thanks very much. coming up next, the granddaughter of the freed hostage and what her grandmother went through in captivity, what she's going through now, and how she first knew this formidable woman and powerful force in her family was truly back. and later, my conversation with chris christie.

as we wait to see if the truce between israel and hamas and extended, it's hard to extend the clashing emotions these last six days have brought. every freed hostage's joy cannot be helped but be tempered by other feelings which can't be imagined by anyone who hasn't experienced what they have. for adina moshe, freedom has meant that learning friends of hers were murdered that day. it also meant learning her husband of 53 years, whom she knew had been shot by hamas gunmen while hiding with her in their saferoom, had indeed died of his wounds and their home was destroyed. i visited that home about two weeks after the massacre. >> reporter: we found their home completely torched. dishes were still in the

dishwasher. they hid in their safe room when the gunmen came. inside the saferoom, a pool of dry blood, evidence of what happened. david moshe was shot holding onto the door handle to prevent the gunman from getting in. their attackers dragged adina moshe out through the saferoom window. she later appeared in this video posted online sandwiched between gunmen on a motorbike in gaza. >> earlier tonight i spoke with her granddaughter. how is your grandmother? >> she's doing okay? we're taking it slowly, step by step. but most important thing that she's with us, she's at home. >> and what has she told you about her experience, where she was kept, was she in the same place the whole time, was she in

tunnels? >> she was in tunnels underground, deep underground. they didn't see any sunlight, any -- they didn't know what time it is, whether it's day or night. the conditions were very tough. very little food. she had no glasses on, so she couldn't see. >> could she hear bombing? did she know war had begun? >> she said only the first days she could hear. but afterwards, almost nothing, because they were so deep underground. so, they didn't hear anything. but she assumed that there is a war. >> did she know how long she was being held for? being underground is very disorienting in the dark. >> yeah. so, they found a hand watch on the way in the tunnels, and they

kept it. and they kept track on the days with the watch. it was hard, but they did it there because they needed to hold onto something, you know? >> did she see any of the hostages being mistreated? >> she did. mostly for the men. >> did she say what kind of mistreatment she saw with the men? >> she describes the treatment was very hard, and they needed to -- she really spoke up for a lot of people there because she was not afraid. so, she stood up for the respect that she expects to get, mostly for the older woman and man that were there. and some of them are injured.

so, she's really concerned about them. and she still have a lot of concerns about the people that she, you know, left behind because she -- she feels like she left them behind because they are still there and she is with us. >> what about the release? i understand that was one of the hardest days for several reasons. >> yeah. so, the release, as she described, was one of the hardest days. first of all because they had to walk a few miles underground mile they're already exhausted. and then they had to climb and it was very hard. and what was the hardest was the fact that once they got to the vehicle, the hamas, probably from gaza city, just got out and

started to scream at them, to throw rocks at the vehicle. so, they were so scared, they just felt like in any minute the rock will get in and kill one of them. so, they really was afraid. they had fear for their lives, you know? >> in the video in which we see her being released, she swats the hand away of a hamas fighter, who reaches out. did she say something to you about that in that moment? >> my grandmother needs the control in her hands, so she will not allow anyone to touch her or to be near her if she doesn't feel comfortable about it. and this is why she just moved his hand. she didn't want it in her space, so she just threw off.

i think this is just who she is. she treats people as people. and if she don't want you to touch her, you won't touch her. and this is also one of the reasons she's such a strong woman who knows how to stand for her own, even in the extreme conditions like this. >> i heard that you and other members of your family were, sort of, trying to tell her, you know, we'll tell you things in due time. and she was demanding answers right away. >> yeah. she -- as i said, she needs to be in control, and we are gladly giving her the control back of her life. >> she's always been that way? >> yeah. one of the first questions she asked us is, how is the boys? how are they doing? because some of her grandchildren are in the idf, and she knew there was war out

there. and we told her, you come back here and we'll talk about everything. and she told us, remember, i'm still your grandmother. you answer me when i ask you something. and we laughed a lot because this is just who she is. she's just the same. so -- >> so, you have her back. >> yeah, it's really unbelievable. and yet we are also very -- we're still in a fight, and we can't be completely happy and to heal until every single one of the hostages will be back home. we can't leave anyone behind. >> anat, thank you so much for your time. just ahead, the rivalry between the 2024 republican presidential field is intensifying, with less than seven weeks before the first nominating contest in n iowa.. presesidential c candidate c ch chchristie joioins me nextxt.

republican presidential candidates nikki haley and ron desantis have now traded jabs with each other over who the, quote, establishment candidate is. nikki haley gained the financial backing of american for prosperity action, which is associated with the billionaire charles coke. they and the other remaining candidates still face the challenge of defeating the former president. the focus is also on new hampshire, where independents can of course vote in the primary. cnn's latest polling shows the former president's maintaining a lead in the state.

but our next guest, who has been campaigning in new hampshire extensively, has seen a rise in support there. joining me now is 2024 candidate and new jersey governor chris christie. ambassador haley is on the rise and desantis is on the decline while the former president holds. >> i'm on the rise, too, as your poll just showed. i think we're both benefitting, both governor haley and i, from vivek ramaswamy and ron desantis' drop. you know, i think we're going to see this a three-person race in new hampshire. and i'm looking forward to fighting up there in new hampshire for every vote. and i believe we're going to do very, very well on january 23rd. >> would a third place showing for you be enough for you to continue? >> look, anderson, it depends on what that third place showing looks like. and, you know, what's the margin, all the rest. so, how about this?

we've got, you know, about eight weeks to go before we get there. how about we wait to see what happens? you know, i'm pretty good at this. i've been around for a while, and i'll know whether what i've done is good enough or not to continue. but i absolutely anticipate it will be. i see us on the rise. and we're going to continue to do well because, anderson, look, we're the ones speaking the truth in this race. we've been speaking the truth about donald trump. ron desantis won't speak about donald trump much at all. and nikki haley was in south carolina two days ago saying that for some reason drama seems to follow him. well, trying to make donald trump out to be an innocent victim, when in fact i could tell you why drama follows him. because he creates it. he creates chaos and drama, by lying to the american people about the results of the 2020 election, by trying to steal that election, by being indicted four times. you know, there's no mystery as to why drama follows him. and i think that's just a way of

someone trying to sound like they're being critical of donald trump but not too critical because they don't want to criticize him. that's just not the way to run to beat someone. that's running for second place. >> the -- as we mentioned, nikki haley got this big endorsement by the organization funded by charles coke. that prompted desantis to blast her as the establishment candidate. how do you see it? and can you -- i mean, it's a lot of money. obviously it's a big boost for nikki haley. >> well, look, good for her. everyone's out there trying to get endorsements and help. and i'm doing the same thing. good for her. congratulations on getting that support. i think that's great for her. i don't think that voters in new hampshire give a darn about who americans for prosperity supports. that's not the way they're going to determine their vote. frankly, i think the way new hampshire voters are going to determine their vote is who's telling them the truth. who is telling them the same thing in new hampshire that they say in iowa? and this is a big problem for

governor haley on the abortion issue. she's saying let's not divide the american people anymore. this issue is too divisive. we should leave it alone. and then she goes to iowa, where she's sitting at a very conservative forum, and says she would sign a six-week national -- six-week ban on abortion. i mean, look, what really is the truth? which one are you for? i make it very clear i would not sign a six-week national ban on abortion. and the reason i wouldn't is twofold. we've been fighting for 50 years in this country to say the supreme court took these decisions away from the people of our country and put it in the hands of nine justices on the court. now dobbs returned that to the people. i want to keep it with the people. governor haley wants to return it to politicians. look, anderson, all you need to do is look at the house trying to pick a speaker and the senate trying to do simple military promotions. do you want to put the question of human life in the hands of those folks? i'd rather have the people of all 50 states make their own

decision. governor haley is now taking the position she wants a six-week ban on abortion. i don't think that's something that folks in new hampshire are going to agree with. >> last time we spoke, you were about to travel to israel. there's obviously been a pause in fighting, as the hostages have been released. palestinian prisoners have been released in return. we're waiting to see whether this truce is extended. do you think it should be? >> i think that's completely up to israel. now, look, i spent a lot of time when i was in israel with some families of hostages. and, you know, they gave me this dog tag, which i keep with me since they gave it to me, anderson. and it says, bring them home now. and i understand that each one of these families wants their loved ones home. and i think what israel has to decide is, are these pauses significantly hurting their ability to be able to degrade hamas' military capability over the long term well enough so that people can return to their homes? and that's the real question here.

so, i'm all for as many of these hostages being released as quickly as they can, and hamas should be releasing all these people, especially the women and children. but that's a decision for prime minister netanyahu to make. i would say this. here are the three priorities. priority number one, protect the territorial integrity and the safety and security of the israeli people. priority number two, degrade hamas' military capability so they can no longer do what they did on october 7th. i went to a kibbutz 600 yards away from the gaza border. those people have to return home, and right now they can't. and third, we have to get these hostages home. that's a delicate balance. it's difficult. that's why leadership is difficult, anderson. but ultimately this cannot be a ceasefire because i don't believe, according to the israelis, that the hamas military capability is reduced enough at this point to make them not a threat to israel's existence and the safety and

security of its people. >> governor christie, i appreciate your time. >> anderson, thanks for having me. on capitol hill, a source tells cnn the house is expected to vote friday on expelling george santos. the ethics committee released a damning reporting earlier this month saying he committed unlawful conduct. that's to say nothing of the litany of lies he's been caught in over the past year. being a member of the volleyball team at brook college, he wasn't. despite support from republicans, speaker johnson has expressed resideervations over expelling him. so, do voters think he should remain? >> no, they want him adios amigos. when we think about people who leave their job involuntarily, we think of richard nixon perhaps in 1974. i don't remember. perhaps you do. and about two-thirds of voters nationwide thought that he should resign from office.

lon long islanders, over 80% of them believe he should go adios amigos. he has no support in his home territory, and we've seen this in poll after poll after poll. >> how does that view about republicans across the country? >> there's the idea tomorrow we'll see how republicans vote to expel him. but here's the deal. most republicans nationwide do not like this guy. his favorable rating amongst them, well below 20%. you compare that with richard nixon back in the '70s -- i think there's an idea there was a bipartisan push to get him out. in fact, there were a lot of republicans who still liked him. his approval rating was 50% in the last gallup poll that was taken. >> how likely is it his seat will remain republican if expelled? >> i don't know what the heck is going to happen tomorrow. and i don't know what would happen if he does get expelled. if we look at the history of new york's third district, joe biden won that seat by 8 percentage

points. it wasn't just george santos who won in 2022. the republican candidate joe pinion won by four points. if there are republicans who worry, if we get rid of him, would we lose the seat? not necessarily. republicans have been doing really well on special elections and elections since joe biden was elected on long island. it would be interesting. >> adios amigo. >> adios amigo. it's an exciting night on cnn, the premiere of gayle king and charles barkley's new series is tonight. the dydynamic duo spokoke with and ththey join meme right here seset after ththe break.

tonight is the night. tonight is the night of all nights. in a little over an hour from now, gayle king and charles barkley's "king charles" will debut on cnn. they are with me here to talk about it. >> live and in color. >> you're vibrant. you look amazing. >> she calls it magenta, not pink. that's when you know you've got a lot of money. you can make colors up. >> anderson knows, you know that this is magenta. >> i could not have told you that was magenta. i did not inherit my mom's -- >> already you're getting that barkley sense of humor. already you're getting a sense of that. >> how long have you two known each other? >> i was trying to think of it and i honestly couldn't even think of the time. we have old pictures. >> i don't remember the first time i met you --

>> you don't remember? >> i didn't. you wasn't that impressive. >> i remember the first time i met you. >> on the street. >> no, no. we were -- might have been on the street. the time i really remember was we were in new orleans. it was at some all star basketball game -- i don't know why i was there. but i was in one part of a bar. you were way at the end, and i was too shy, of course to talk to you. we made eye contact. and you -- it was late. you start yelling my name. >> because i'm a fan. >> and you're like, anderson cooper, anderson cooper! i can't say exactly what you said, but you try to keep them mfers honest but you can't keep them mfers honest. the bar quiets down. you come over and embrace me. you were covered in -- you were wet. it was very hot. >> probably vodka. but it was so fun because i was a big fan. then the other time i met you, i

was up here -- >> oh, i remember this. >> i was up here doing something, and i see a guy on a bike. i said, damn, that look like anderson cooper. >> riding a bike? >> it was times square, i'm riding my bike and he's in his car. >> so, we pass him. he come back, i said, that is anderson cooper. so, i jump out the car, anderson, how you doing? i've been a big fan for a long time. thank you for having us. we're glad to be part of this. >> we are, we are. but it is a good question, though, about when we met because honestly i really don't remember. do you? >> i don't. i told you, gayle, it was glancing. >> i was not that impressive. it has been fun. >> we've been spending time together. apparently we hate each other. that's what the internet says. >> there's some tabloid stories already. >> this is a different gig from both of you. i have no idea what to expect. >> the beauty of this show, i think, is that neither one of us was looking for another job. he's got a couple jobs -- >> you're both hardworking people.

>> we're very happy in the jobs we have. when someone presented the idea and said, would you ever think of, and they said his name -- i didn't even know what the concept was, but i thought it was interesting. >> who came up with the name? >> i heard you -- >> i did, i did, dad. i did, i did. >> i don't know how it -- first of all, i don't believe that. >> i did, charles. >> i don't believe you came up with the name. >> king charles? >> yeah. >> i did. because they had some sports thing or something. >> no, we don't want that. >> time-out or sports something. i said, king charles because gayle king and king charles and charles barkley. you say you got it, but today i said this on the show. when i was leaving the dentist, some lady stopped me and said, i'm really looking forward to your show "king george" with charles barkley. >> it's called king charles. >> the cool thing about the show, as you know in your business -- you're stuff is more serious than things we're going to tackle all the time. it's something new happening

all -- every day. >> right. >> that's not what you said. you said, people do stupid beep every single day. so, we always have something to talk about. >> you actually don't have to beep here. >> you don't? >> what did you say? >> i said people are always going to do stupid -- >> i wasn't saying you had to say it. >> you can't say i can say it and then tell me not to. >> that is what he said. >> something always is going to happen in our world. and, like, i tell you, i know in your life the next year is going to be fascinating. i can't imagine what it's like to be, like, cover politics for the next year in the united states. it's going to be crazy. >> we were talking about george santos tonight. >> yes, yeah. >> can you imagine he told all those lies he probably wouldn't be here. >> you both have such a wide variety of interests and knowledge about a whole bunch of stuff. and you can pull from all of that and have whoever you want on and do whatever -- it all

make sense. >> i have a lot of useless information stored up there. i love culture, pop culture, politics, sports. we have a lot of athletes on the show. >> used to be. >> back in the day, you were huge. you were good. >> you're the black ernie johnson. he's full of useless knowledge. i always tell him he should go on "jeopardy!." those people on "jeopardy!" they know all that stuff that never comes in handy. >> i'm really good in trivial pursuit. >> i went on "jeopardy!." >> have you? >> yes. i won twice. it was the dumbed down celebrity version. >> now you're calling the other celebrities dumb. who were they? >> you know who was really good at "jeopardy!"? cheech marin. he was smart. his synapses would be slow because of cheech and chong movies. he was really fast on the buzzer. he's really smart. he's really good. >> a lot of people think i'm smart because i work with kenny

and shaq. they're dumber than rocks. >> the thing is, charles is very smart. >> thank you, gayle. >> you're taking calls lately. >> yes, yes, yes. >> i love that. >> cleveland, hello. >> guess what our number is. >> 1-855-3434-king. >> you know what the 3434 stands for? >> oh, my god, of course he knows my number. >> of course. i'm a huge sports fan. >> that's his number. >> i have this jersey. yeah, yeah. he's a great football player. >> we'll cover a wide variety -- great football player. we'll cover a wide variety of things. charles barkley. i look forward to it. >> what's the name of the show? >> "king charles," airs wednesdays. premiere just one hour away, 10:00 p.m. coming up, i want to talk to you a little bit about grief, which is not something we talk about much. i realize despite experiencing a lot of loss in my life -- this is a good transition -- i never allowed myself to grieve. there's a lot of people, like me, push it away. but grief doesn't stay buried

forever. today i launched a new season of my podcast called "all there is," and i want to take you behind the scenes next. we'll be right back.

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with unlimited cellular data and up to 4 hours of battery back-up to keep you online. only from xfinity. home of the xfinity 10g network. i never talk much about bring brief until last year when i started a podcast about brief and loss. the second season starts today. if you look at the right corner

of your screen, you will see a qr code. point your phone's camera to that code and follow the link that appears and you will be directed to your first episode. i didn't think i would do another season. talking about grief is painful. not talking about it is worse. i realized that i have never really allowed myself to grieve. i've been running from it most of my life. it doesn't go away. take a look. the basement in my house is filled with boxes of stuff belonging to my mom who died in 2019 and to my dad and brother who died decades ago. there are photographs and letters and notes who have been sitting here waiting for me to find the courage to sift through them for nearly a year. i had started to go through the boxes last year, during the first season of all there is, but i had to stop. i found it overwhelming.

all this stuff brought up a lot of pain and sadness that i buried long ago as a kid when my dad died and then again when my brother carter died by suicide. it turns out, grief doesn't stay buried forever. >> i have never shared anything like this before. >> i lost my father when i was ten. >> i was reminded that was this spring when i started listening to more than 1,000 voicemails i received during the first season of the podcast. >> i had to grieve the person that i was. >> we have to endure it. we have to get through it. >> it took months, but i listened to all your calls. more than 46 hours of messages. they moved me profoundly. >> we lost our son brad eight years ago. >> i want you to know my son's name. ian alexander lykinen. >> i learned the named of your loved ones. i heard your pain and your love. i don't know how to explain it exactly, but it awakened something inside me.

i realize now for first time that i have never really allowed myself to grieve. in burying that pain, i have buried my ability to feel joy. i don't want to do that any longer. i can't. i want to feel all there is. so that's why i'm doing another season of this podcast. i need to talk with others, living with grief, and learn from them how i can, too. >> i think the impulse, for me, was sort of how do i fix it? none of that works with grief. you can't fix it. you can't manage it. you can't push it away. >> i feel like nobody could see me. i was just screaming inside. >> it felt like this unraveling of our family. to be the only one left and to have no one i could really call and talk to and be like, remember when this happened? >> in the first episode, i talked to francis weller about what grief can actually do for us in our lives.

>> we are told to buck up, to get over it, to rise above it. but we are never taught how to be with it. >> i will talk to president biden at the white house about list grief and how he has come to live with it. >> i think it's critical people understand that they are always going to be with you. your mother is in your heart every single day. your brother, in your heart. they are there every single day. there will come a time, as you can welcome that, that you have that and you had that, that it was there. >> there's a lot of don't understand about grief. but i do know that talking about it is the only thing that makes me feel less alone in it. i hope it does for you as well. the new season of all there is starts wednesday, november 29, wherever you get your podcasts. you can scan the qr code on the screen or to download it or

search for it on apple podcast, wherever you get your podcasts. i hope you like it and find it helpful. the news continues. "the source" with kaitlan collins is next.