of us with down in the computer room, we sort of. >> have you watched that movie. >> by the way? yeah, absolutely. >> you know, the computer. >> is great. >> i mean, it's, uh, it's godlike in a way. >> were you a consultant on that movie? >> just by my life. >> that's all. okay. >> it's nice now that you can see different learning styles or approaches can be rewarded. if you're, you know, able to discipline yourself and, you know, focus on the right things, uh, it can become a superpower.

now the hbo original series real time with bill maher. >> start the clock. >> pam bondi. how are you doing? thank you very much. hello.

hello, people. how are you? thank you. wow. i appreciate it, thank you. i appreciate it, all right. it's so much. please. there's so much going on, so much going on. but really, what we care about here in los angeles is it's oscar weekend. we're getting ready for the oscars on sunday. look how excited you are. oh, well, come on, it is. oscar, get oscar fever. tonight's the night, by the way. the friday before, when everyone gets their ribbon, you know, they all wear a ribbon to show support for a cause they have. and now it's kanye's problem. how to pin it on his wife. okay. it's a. tonight also is the beginning of ramadan, the muslim holy month, a full month of fasting and prayer, which is the same thing the nominees do the month

before. the oscars. so. but i come on, i love the oscars. come on. it's one of our last communal experiences, right? where we celebrate movies and say, as one people. no, i haven't heard of that one either. i mean. there's there's literally a nominee this year called i'm still here. really, i. i assume it's a sequel to netflix's. are you still watching? uh. so. all right. so but what else is going on? not much. uh, what what? well, i guess nothing comes to mind. uh oh. in a world war iii news, we're on the other side. now. i don't know if you've heard that, uh oh. this today

was. well, i have to show you this. zelenskyy was in the oval office to discuss the big turnaround that the country has done, where trump says now he's the dictator. and ukraine invaded russia. interesting. which. and it devolved into this shouting match, which i'm sure trump thinks is good tv. you have to see it to believe it. so let's take a look at it. a little of this. >> don't tell us what we're going to feel. if you didn't have our military equipment, this war would have been over in two weeks. in three days. >> i heard it from putin. in three days. >> it's going to be a very hard thing to do business like this. >> have you said thank you once this entire meeting? no. in this entire meeting, have you said thank you? >> who? the real housewives of the white. >> house. >> and. and then afterwards, it's a press conference. and a

reporter asked trump said, do you still believe that zelenskyy is the dictator? and trump said, did i say that? i can't believe i said that. also those tariffs, who ordered those tariffs i. i mean. the problem we have is the man is running this country who is running this country is hell bent on sowing chaos. and trump is doing nothing to stop him. oh, ellen. ellen, come back, come back to normal. ellen, what the fuck happened? really? >> i mean. >> ellen sent out an email to every single federal worker this week that said, name five things. you've done this week or you are fired. and a lot of people took this as a direct threat to congress. i mean, is there bloat in the government?

yes. i've said it here many times. yes. and we should get rid of it. and we've already trying. but i mean, air traffic controllers, they're getting rid of and first responders and disease experts and nuclear scientists. the parks department this week got rid of 1000 people. smokey the bear is now working at starbucks. and uh, oh my gosh. i don't i don't want to say federal workers are on edge, but today i saw my dog growling at the mailman and and the mailman bit him. i mean. >> it's. >> uh, and. and, you know, i think what bugs people more than the fact that this isn't working is just the glee that they've taken it. i mean, musk is always up there now with a chainsaw. he was at cpac with a chainsaw. >> ha ha ha ha. >> a chainsaw. and bobby kennedy saw it and said, oh, good. well,

for dinner. uh, but you know what? this is not going to come out well for them. there's already a lot of blowback. they are realizing that, yes, you elected the bull in the china shop and were the china. uh, this is even going on with republicans. it was a town hall and the republicans were screaming at each other until one of them finally stood up and said, please, people, we're all in the same cult. and okay, i could go on with everything that happened this week. but one more, trump says. now we're making, for the first time in america, an official language. it will be english. that will be the official language. wow. first, he comes for the non-binary. now he's coming for the bilingual. not a great week for emilia pérez. all right, we got a great show. we have rahm emanuel and fareed zakaria. oh, that's going to be great.

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iphone. >> are. >> first up. she is the former deputy prime minister of canada, now a candidate to be its next prime minister. the honorable chrystia freeland. hey! hi. great to see you. oh, canada. all right. >> here i am. and if there are any canadians here. >> oh, i know there are. they're not all canadian. they're just. well, you are going to be the next prime minister of canada. and we're very proud of you because you were on our show many times in the past when you were what were you, the finance? you were the you are the finance minister just till recently. right? that's right. when you were on our show, what was your title? >> i was the u.s. managing

editor of the financial times. >> the financial times. well, you're moving up in the world, and now you're going to be the, i guess, the governor of our 51st state. >> never, never. that is not the job i'm campaigning for. >> well. >> let me. and i want to be really clear, bill, because, yes, canadians, we started off being sad because americans like you're our friends, you're our neighbors. and it was just a shock for canadians. but then canadians got really angry. yeah, because it's the president of the united states is saying repeatedly that he wants to use economic coercion to force us to become the 51st state. >> i mean, do you take it seriously or do you think it's just trolling? >> no, i take it seriously. and canadians do too. i am in full campaign mode. and so a couple of weeks ago, i was in a small city called saskatoon, and a little four year old girl came

up to me with her mother. her name was ari. and she said to me in this serious way, a little four year old can, can you stop trump from invading canada? so right now we are a country where four year old children are saying, how do we stop this guy from invading my country? >> okay, so i have a question for you. can you stop trump from invading canada? >> i mean, i never thought you and four year old girls from saskatoon had that much in common. but i'll tell. >> you what. yes. well, i can. and not because of me, but because of canadians. you know, canadians. >> are. >> we're not really people who. >> you know where our flag on our lapel. but right now, there is this wave of patriotism across canada. hockey fans are just like singing o canada. restaurants are pulling us wine

from their menu. snowbirds. it's a cold winter, but snowbirds are not flying south. >> i'm wearing a tim hortons cap these days. >> that's good. >> i. i like that. >> i'm team drake. how about that? >> yeah. yes. >> but, i mean, the truth is this has helped your campaign. i mean, you were the liberals. now this is. you're about to have the primary, basically, is how we would describe it. if you get that because trudeau is out, he's already quit. you're in his cabinet. you would become then the liberal leader. and then in the election, if you won, then the liberals are way behind in the polls until trump did this. he kind of saved your ass. is that not true? >> i think that the election now, the ballot question in the liberal leadership race and in the general election is who can stand up for canada and who can fight for canada and.

>> but it's just. >> and that's like the pitch i'm making, bill, is i'm saying to canadians. >> i can fight for you and i can win. >> right. but as soon as the conservatives here in america said he was going to invade canada, suddenly the conservatives in canada didn't look too good. i mean, the guy you will be running against, paul pierre. how do we say his name? pierre. >> well, i call him maple sirup maga. >> or mini. >> okay, well. well, first. >> that doesn't help with my pronunciation. >> sorry. >> and also, like. you know what? this is sad to me that everybody becomes more like america in our worst kind of ways. i remember seeing an ad not that long ago when i was playing up in canada. it was the it was campaign season. it was almost comically polite. whoever trudeau was running against, i

mean, it was ridiculous. they certainly weren't calling each other names. but i hear this guy, pierre. >> poilievre. >> poilievre. i had it with the poutine. it's terrific. >> delicious. >> talking about bilingualism. okay, that's actually our thing. i know, bilingual, right? >> yeah, but. but who is this guy? i never heard of him. i mean, i should maybe, but i try to follow a little bit of canada. who is he? and he sounds very trumpy. i mean, this is this is sad to me that people in canada are losing their polite. >> well, i think it's sad for us too. and he is pretty trumpy, and i think he built a campaign on trying to imitate trump. but now that canadians see president trump wanting to turn us into the 51st state, it's not going so well. and look, canadians are very smart and canadians understand that right now, what we need the most is someone who can stand up for our country.

>> all right. so. >> so justin trudeau, who's on his way out, used to be very popular. i mean, he still has his fans. three. um. and they may be asking, why did you turn on him? because, you know, you were part of his government. what was it? and and also, what would you do differently? and if you watched the election here, don't ever say nothing comes to mind. that's the bad answer to that one. what would you do differently? >> well, you know, with the prime minister, i think every politician has their sell by date, and that's part of what happened. but i think the other thing that happened is my party were actually called the liberal party. and i am an old school liberal and liberals in canada win when we are focused on people and on what they need in their lives, and we lose when

people think that we're focused on virtue signaling and identity politics. >> so the same thing that sunk the party here in america of the when they went too far left. and that's the impression i got from justin trudeau. why did he go and become one of those elitist type of scolds who looked like he was just overbearing, that sort of left wing overbearingness? i saw recently, i think it was last week. ottawa, i see, is trying to pass a law limiting the amount of time you can idle your car. now, i've been in canada in the winter. it's pretty fucking cold up. >> there. >> that's why we used to have snowbirds before we decided we didn't want to spend our money in the united states. >> and i don't think this i mean, the reasoning is it's going to put a dent in global warming. i don't think it is that you can only idle your car for a minute, i think remotely in three minutes. if you're in it before you can get going to warm it up. this just pisses

people off. and it looks like as in america, they still haven't gotten the memo that this shit don't work. >> they. so you're against. >> that kind of stuff, right? >> look. >> though. >> i have got the. >> menu, i have received the memo to be a polite canadian. i have received the memo, sir. and, um, uh, you know. politicians win when they listen to people sincerely and hear what people are saying to them about their lives. and politicians lose when we think we are smarter than the people we work for. >> and and when we think our job is to. >> lecture people, that's that's not how democracy works. >> people don't like bossy and they don't like snobs. >> yeah. >> that's exactly right. >> i'm always trying to tell. >> the left, okay. >> although although people right.

>> now in canada, people do like strong and people do want a leader who is strong, uh, a leader who can unite the country and a leader who can figure out a smart way to talk to everyone here, all our american friends and neighbors and say, let's not have a dumb tariff war. uh, let's get back. >> i mean, do that, right? insane and didn't aren't you the. >> finance minister? aren't you the one who negotiated the treaty in 2020 that we have now with trump? >> yes. he said it was the best trade deal ever. >> ever. >> no he didn't. no, i. >> think it's called the usmca. and i think this could be one of the only things that both donald trump and nancy pelosi support. it's a really good deal. and the relationship between canada is balanced. it is mutually beneficial. i think you guys are really lucky to have us as your

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>> is right here. who? um, okay. >> would you want to see a little more of trump and zelenskyy? let's just see where america is now. i just want to see a little more of this. please. >> you're not in a good position. you don't have the cards right now. you're gambling with world war iii. you're in no position to dictate what we're going to feel. you have to be thankful you don't have the cards. then you tell us. i don't want a cease fire. i don't want a cease fire. >> great day to be an american. and i mean, my first thought is he's having this big browbeating with a guy who speaks english as a second language. >> and i just. it's just. perfect. >> i mean, so we're all agreed this is deplorable. you know, i've tried to not use the word deplorable as much as i can, but when it's deplorable, it's deplorable. and then he likes it. i mean, it's a deplorable point of view. but here's my question to you guys. i always

said trump is a coalition winner like every politician is. it's about a third of the country that loves this and will love anything he does. he got elected with that other part. that's not the half that's liberal and democratic, but thinks that he was in some way less crazy than they are. does something like this change that does this move the needle on the people who are that part of the coalition? he needs to stay to stay popular. do you want to go look? >> i hope it does, because i think what we're seeing, it's, you know, it's funny and it's but it's really tragic because first of all, to see the president of the united states and the vice president. bully, berate, demean, you know, cajole somebody who, you know, depends on on, you know, the, the united states for its survival. but more than that, you know, over the last hundred years, the united states, whether it's supported britain at the right

moment, whether it's supported, you know, the allies in world war one, it was always clear morally, politically whose side we were on. we were on the side of the victim of aggression. we were on the side of the democracies. we were against the dictators. we were against the aggressors. and to see this bizarre moral reversion, you know, i mean, it was absolutely clear in that listening to trump, he's much more comfortable and sympathetic with vladimir putin, and he doesn't like. >> zelenskyy. >> yeah. so a to the core part of your question, this will not work with the american people. first of all, the president is underwater. and it's only going to drive. >> this boat. and. >> they have a and i want to pick up on what fareed said. look, for a long time our foreign policy has been basically internationalist versus isolationist. that's kind of been the structure. now we have a foreign policy of either principles or predatory. and i don't think the american people who think of themselves are

going to want to see themselves as we want those minerals for this price. we're going to take greenland for this. we're going to take panama. that is not where the american people have a self-image, and especially not the way it's being done and conducted this way. and second of all, if you there's a common thread here, there are three times i've seen donald trump, as i've never seen that before. and i've been in the oval office and now for eight years, i've been in other situations with congressional leaders, foreign leaders. and this moment today where i've never seen an oval office like this, this looks like this looks like the emanuel family on thanksgiving. uh. two. number two was when nancy pelosi and the cabinet room stood up and said, all roads with you lead to putin and russia. and then third in helsinki, when he was standing there with at a press conference, and he took putin's side against the american national security apparatus and the intelligence community. what is the common thread through all three of these? very, very low, very bizarre moments. donald trump defending putin, and that is.

>> the only thing. and i'm saying and i think. >> and then i think this is now beyond this to, i think a more serious and i think consequential when you look at just five weeks that feel like five years, i spent a lot of time in the far east during president biden's term with japan. we worked very hard to keep korea, south korea from going nuclear, and they agreed to it. you now have an election where the new chancellor of germany is saying, we have to think of our own nuclear protection. we spent 75 years on nonproliferation of nuclear weapons. so that would not be many countries with nuclear weapons. we're about to enter the era of proliferation. five years from now. the nuclear. >> you're saying, because they don't think they can count on america. >> they cannot count on the united. states for their own protection. south korea is not leaving their dependents, their security to donald trump in the united states. germany and europe are not leaving their security to the united states and nato. and you're looking at

ukraine. the only reason ukraine invaded is because we convinced them in 1994 to give up the nuclear weapons. and i think as to quote my grandfather, when germany, with a neo-nazi party is running, number two gets nuclear weapons, the great political sage, my grandfather, herman shmulevich, that is not a good. >> thing. but but. you do. >> you know that translation. >> only be. >> familiar with it. um, i think that it's beyond even the things that rahm is talking about. every country now, every ally of ours is asking themselves, how do we become less dependent on the united states? so we don't have this shakedown? i mean, you heard what chrystia freeland was saying. the debate in canada is now we've made a big mistake being this economically dependent on the u.s. we've got to find ways to separate ourselves. the debate in europe, in germany is exactly that. the debate in, in asia is that i was talking to i was in australia

last year and those guys were telling me, look, we want to be close to you, but we are taking on a very hostile position toward china because of you. we don't, you know, we don't. we are our biggest trading partner. what happens if you cut a deal with putin with with xi and leave us hanging? so in a weird way, the whole world is asking themselves if if the united states can betray ukraine, if it can turn on canada, where do we stand? >> okay. >> so let me. >> just grab one thing. >> yes, sir. >> weakness invites aggression. you were watching ukraine. europe. what's going on? china. >> that's an old republican line. >> yeah, well. >> not not. >> it's true. you're seeing it play out in the indo-pacific. china just put a whole military operation. closest they've ever been to sydney, australia. they just did it to vietnam because they see the united states now. and they're saying to the whole region, you can go with us or you can go with this guy, and the whole region has got they've got to make a self-interested

calculation, and they're not going to be dependent on the united states. and this will become a more dangerous. >> what do we say to the people who are watching and saying, oh, well, you guys are saying the world's going to hell in a handcart. so what do we do about it now? last week i opened the show by saying, you know, there's a pattern in american politics, and it's about overreaching. whenever someone wins an election big time. and trump kind of did they overreach. and that seems to be what's going on. and i said, you know, maybe the best thing the democrats can to do is just be as lame as they are. and that strategy is working perfectly well. and and james carville this week kind of one upped it. he said, what the democrats i'm just asking i'm not saying i necessarily agree with it. he said they need to just play dead because this administration, only five weeks old, is making itself so unpopular that the worst thing anybody else can do is just get in the way. they're digging a hole, let them dig. >> the do you? well, okay, okay, okay. that's that's james

carville. >> that must be the applause for the whole part right. >> there. >> that's james carville. i'm just asking if you agree or if not, what is the strategy? >> well, one, i want to correct one piece of the premise. when you get 49%, which is a plurality, not a majority, it's not a mandate. >> no, it's not a mandate. >> so one, they overinterpret it just like george bush did in 2004. and he said, i got a mandate, and he went to privatize social security. and he got smacked in 2006. they do not have a mandate. >> who gives a fuck? he won. he won the election. he won all seven. >> swing states. >> they are trying to believe something. and that's misinterpreting now number one. number two, let me say one. >> thing changes nothing. >> james carville, who is a dear friend, said two things in there that aren't the same. he said, retreat. and he said, rope a dope and rope a dope is not a retreat. it was using your strengths against your opponent's weaknesses and rope a dope in the sense of what? allowing donald trump to do what he is doing. and i think the biggest fight, the beyond what

we just saw in the oval office, will be when he literally tries to cut people's health care to pay for tax cuts for the rich, rich people, for elon musk and the rest of the people he's hanging with. and that's that is where you're going to see the biggest fight. and i think there is where you engage. i don't agree with the idea genetically. i don't agree with the idea of retreating. it's just not in my dna, but rope a dope and retreating, which he used in that piece, is not the same strategy. and i would not retreat. >> but but i think there's something i love, james carville. i think he's a super smart guy, but i think it's a somewhat old fashioned view of how politics works, what trump has understood better than really almost anybody is the attention economy. he knows how to dominate the narrative. he knows how to be there all the time shaping it. he knows how to make you think that he's won when he's lost. so when you see things like this happen, trump and his and his people are going to go out and say, this was a great victory. zelenskyy humiliated us. we had to push back. you need to be controlling

the narrative. and the democrats, i think, too often fall into this view. well, it's obvious this was a humiliation. it was obvious that this was bad diplomacy. no, you have to shape that narrative. you know, look at kamala harris. she goes on one television show, 60 minutes, and does this 12 minute interview carefully choreographed. he goes on for three hours on joe rogan. he goes on for 25 hours on six other podcasts. and he is relentlessly pounding the narrative. democrats need to understand that's the new attention economy. if you're not shaping it, you are. you are. you are being shaped by it. >> here's one like. >> he always donald trump likes to tell you that. >> he knows the art of a deal. he knows how to do a deal. well, wait a second. in his first term, he did a deal with china. he tried to do a deal with north korea. and he also talked about the usmc deal there and the afghans deal. there's one constant in all of these. he put

publicity ahead of principle. he is actually the worst negotiator. and we should be actively pointing out and saying, here's the other course we would take. you never leave that field for him. i would not do that because he has to be confronted now. i would be more selective. i would not go. as i've said before, i wouldn't go sit there in my first protest, be in front of usaid office. i would pick a place that matters to the american people. i would go to a grocery store and show all the shelves on eggs. the fact is, we have no eggs and inflation is way up on eggs. and he's now fired. everybody that will keep. >> he said he was going to have this great strategy to end the ukrainian war. you know, we couldn't hear what it was. and then when he got into office, what was the strategy? give up. just give up. he just. surrendered everything immediately. that's i've never seen anyone negotiate. >> nobody negotiate. you haven't seen it because nobody negotiates like. >> that, right. >> yeah. it's crazy. i mean, he could have asked for a few things before. he just capitulated. >> he said, i mean, well, i don't mean to cut. so you wanted to say something? >> no, no, no, it's just. >> it's a rare moment of me

giving the microphone away. so go. >> ahead. take advantage of it. no. you know, what's. >> sad about this is you watch foreign leaders, and they've figured him out. so if you watch, you know, justin trudeau, he said you begin by praising him lavishly. you say, oh, you did everything wrong. then you give him none of what he wanted. you announce some bullshit concession. that was some stuff you'd already done. and he beams. the king of jordan did it brilliantly. he said. you know, the trump asked him to take 2 million palestinians from gaza, and he says, because of your wisdom and your leadership and your foresight, we're going to take 2000 kids to treat them medically and send them back. and trump beamed. it was like, i. >> won. >> i win or so. so in a strange way, i do feel i do feel like zelenskyy should have studied this a little bit more. he's an emotional guy. i've met him many times. he's very brave. he's been fighting a war and he let his emotions get the best of him. the way to have gone in there is first, you begin by saying, president trump, you are

a genius. you have completely transformed the landscape. i have with me a the order of highest merit. ukraine has never created a civilian honor this big for. >> you have. >> a have a big. >> medal, put it on him. right. and i then say to him, i look. >> for i look forward to welcoming you in ukraine so that we can build the tallest trump tower in the. >> world. like that. i got to. that. that would have. >> saved ukraine's ass. >> that would have tried to. >> catch people up on a few other stories this week, because. >> i would just like the record to show that he swore twice. i have yet to do it. it's like i'm. having an out-of-body experience. >> you're doing. >> fantastic. >> did you know taking xyzal at night relieves allergies while you sleep, so you wake refreshed for a more productive day. get 24 hour continuous relief that does not fade. be wise. all take

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over. i'm crowded into my cell with all the fan mail, and i did a thing about him about a month ago. i'm not a big fan. i don't think he really did anything great by shooting somebody in the back, but. okay, some people do. but i was trying to make the point that i think this is romanticized in america, because every time i try to find a movie anywhere on streaming, it's about a hit man. every oh, look, black dove, that looks interesting. oh, that's. >> a hit, man. yeah. >> i mean, it's just oh, good. mark wahlberg has a new one. what's that? oh, he's a hitman. is every fucking person. >> a hitman? >> everybody in. >> america is a hitman i. >> made i just made a list. it's top of my head. just people who have, like, franchises. denzel and liam neeson and keanu and people. these are actors. i asked who has played a hitman twice? not even the same type of hitman, just a statham. brad pitt, colin farrell, everybody. there's even subgenres, old hitmen. just more than one. man with mental

problems women have. so it's inevitable that there would be a magazine that came out and we have it. it's called murder aficionado and luigi is on the cover. >> would you like. >> to see some of the articles on the inside? >> okay. >> for example, travel spotlight book depositories in your area. >> are. >> seven easy to prepare meals for lying in. >> wait. oh. >> are why does it have to be a hit man? how squeaky fromme broke up the assassin sausage. >> party? >> i'm hitting on a hit, man. when to take your shot. >> uh. >> we don't kill people in a disco. real life assassins on what john wick gets wrong. >> you. are joker's wild.

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>> and two. >> tell us how with the most sophisticated navigation systems in the world, you rammed your boat into another boat on an ocean. and no, this doesn't count as one of the five things you did this. >> week. >> new rule if you're planning your retirement and want financial advice, don't use schwab, fidelity or jpmorgan chase. ashley saint clair. she's the lady who made the smartest investment decision of the year. getting pregnant with elon musk's 13th child. and yes, this does count as one of the five things you did. >> this week. oh. uh. new rule. >> oscar winners must stop

saying they're proof that dreams come true. your dreams came true. for every one of you, there are hundreds of thousands of actors whose dreams don't come true. and i'm not saying those people should give up on their dreams. i'm just saying they should focus on the moment and bring me my dressing on the side. >> uh. neural. >> now that the u.s. egg shortage has become so acute that people aren't just ordering their eggs online, but also live chickens. someone must order a chicken and an egg and let us know which one came first. >> so we. new rules. >> new rules. if mike lee. oh, shit. if mikey madison, the star of nora, wins an oscar this sunday, the academy has to

create a new category in the future called best actress. not playing a hooker. >> oh. man. >> does hollywood love hookers? 14 women have won an oscar for playing one. yeah, charlize theron, anne hathaway, kim basinger, mira sorvino, jane fonda, liza minnelli, elizabeth taylor, donna reed, jo van fleet, shirley jones, lila kedrova, shelley winters, susan hayward and helen hayes. that whore. >> who. oh. oh. >> more prostitutes have gone home with oscars than charlie sheen. and seven more hooker portrayers have been nominated. yeah. julie, julia roberts,

elizabeth shue, audrey hepburn, julie christie, jodie foster, madeline kahn and yes, jon voight in midnight cowboy. >> oh. it's true. that's 20. >> 20 women and one guy. shame on you, hollywood. i thought you cared about diversity. >> and finally. uh, new. >> rule to everyone who's been stopping me lately and asking bill if by some weird fluke, stephen a smith doesn't run for president. who are we going to get? well, i'm going to tell you. but first, a word from common sense. the the democratic party's current approval rating is 21%, which is only slightly more popular than kanye's swastika shirts. maybe that's why, according to a new gallup poll, 45% of democrats want the

party to move to the center, which is up 11 points from four years ago. now, whenever a political party finds a real star president, the other side always says, well, we have to find our bill clinton, our reagan, our obama. well, the democrats need to find their trump, not the authoritarian part, but the part where a politician bonds with every day americans because he talks like them. and the. the good news for democrats is they have that guy and his name is john fetterman. >> yeah, yeah, you. after the. >> election, instead of curling up in a ball. fetterman went to mar-a-lago, where trump assumed he was one of the guys from january 6th. and afterwards, trump said he's

not liberal or conservative. he's just a common sense person, which is beautiful. and that's the kind of gay adjacent respect trump usually reserves for putin. >> uh. who? >> trump and fetterman actually have a lot in common. they're both plainspoken anti-elitist who come from money, married, exotic immigrant ladies, went to ivy league schools and aren't afraid to take on their own party. and when the wind catches trump's hair just right, they're both six foot eight. >> oh. >> look, here's the thing voters aren't really savvy about the issues, but they do have made it clear what is important to them. authenticity. balls and charisma. trump has that package, and so does fetterman. he's only been a senator two

years, and he's already more famous than most of his colleagues. quick, i dare you to name this sad looking lady from washington state who has been in the senate for 30 years. you can't teach charisma or balls. fetterman is that rare democrat who's not afraid to put the woke nonsense peddlers in his own party in their place, saying things like wanting a secure border and realizing that it was out of control. that doesn't mean you're a xenophobe or a racist. he's been unequivocally pro-israel, as are most americans. and when pro-palestinian protesters showed up at his home, he went up on the roof and waved an israeli flag. >> who? >> fetterman says the four words that strike fear in the heart of every republican who wants to hang on to power. i am not woke. that's why trump won. not because americans were clamoring for tariffs on margarita mix.

going where the american people are on crime and immigration. gosh, it's so crazy. it just might work. see, that's how you get these things called votes. and. and once you do, you can take office. i. i know it's more fun to make memes of trump sucking elon's toes. >> but. >> but john fetterman doesn't play that game. he says i don't give a fuck. i left all my fucks in my other pants, and i don't wear pants. >> but you see, again. >> like trump, fetterman understands the value of having a distinctive look. a brand trump with his yellow top and. four foot rayon red tie. mimic mimics the colors that every

fast food franchise. >> it's true. with every fast food. >> franchise knows this, that for some reason it gets people excited. who knows why it works, but it does. and i think fetterman's look works for him. it's a look that says, i'm just like you. i've given up. john's the only person in america who goes to cbs for the clothes. when the fashion. when the when the fashion police see him, they say we're going to need backup. >> and. >> there's something else fetterman and trump have in common. brain damage.

>> okay, okay. >> all right. neurological issues. trump has the whole malignant narcissism thing that makes it difficult for him to distinguish between reality and whoever's kissing his ass. >> and. >> and fetterman has had a stroke and been hospitalized for depression and needs a special speak and say device to communicate. he's legally a disabled person, which is actually great news for the democratic ticket, because, okay, look, i don't just have the top of the next democratic ticket. i'm also going to throw in the best bottom the democrats have. pete buttigieg. >> yeah. yeah. remember. >> mayor pete used to be everyone's favorite boy genius from indiana. well, he's all grown up now. and he too seems to be trying to send a message that he wants to join the

reality wing of the democratic party. a month ago, he stopped posting his pronouns. and? and pete now says that liberals would do better. quote. if we were more serious about the actual values and not caught up in vocabularies and trying to cater to everybody only in terms of their particular slice of combinations of identities. exactly. >> right. >> fetterman's problem is he doesn't check any box for gender or race, which could hurt him in getting the nomination. john, are you sure you don't have any latino blood? >> uh, yeah. >> how does john fetterman sound? so let me suggest this. since fetterman checks the

disabled box and pete is gay, can we just, for the sake of the next election, say that on the intersectionality conversion chart, gay plus disabled equals one person of color. could. >> because i think. >> it's a great ticket, especially since pete has lately been finding the strength to say things like democrats should, democrats should stop, quote, making people sit through a training that looks like something out of portlandia. out of portlandia. where did he get that line? the entire democratic party has become a portlandia sketch. >> oh. >> i'm not mad. please steal

all my jokes. i might actually get somebody elected. all right, that's our show. >> i want to thank fareed zakaria, rahm emanuel and chrystia freeland. now go watch overtime on youtube. thank you folks. you were great. >> oh.