every day. >> we'll keep track of you and everybody else you're talking to. thanks so much. appreciate it. go online for more real people weighing in on our economy and how it affects them at cnn.com/money&mainst. that is it for us. "larry king live" right now. -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com tonight, joan rivers smack down. why did the qvw queen take me out at her roast? i'll ask her about that and how she got so rich. then levi and me. >> looking at his beautiful, chocolate eyes all night. >> that's right. the father of sarah palin's grandson strolls the red carpet with his cougar. >> i don't pay attention to other women. >> only has eyes for me. >> what happened when the

cameras stopped rolling. >> i have your back. >> kids with crowns. baby beauty pageants. should next on "larry king live." good evening. i'm kathy griffin sitting in for larry. can you believe it? i know. anyway, larry's on vacation. joining me tonight is comic, writer and entrepreneur, joan rivers. her new show "how'd you get so rich" airs wednesday nights on tv land. she's be appearing at the venetian ballroom in las vegas later this month and early september. her live shows are fantastic. that is where the fur really flies. joan joins us live from qvc. i think there's a separate room where they print her money. in pennsylvania. how are you doing? >> so excited talking to you. it was so great last night on

the road for comedy trail. if people don't you, you were the mistress and you were terrific. >> joan, you knocked it out of the park. let's take a quick look at some of the proceedings. >> okay. >> jones started out in brooklyn as little joan malinski. jewish girls are supposed to grow up and marry doctors, not support them. joan is not an orthodox jew but men still [ bleep ] through a sheet so they don't have to look at that face. >> kathy griffith, yes, my good friend, you call yourself the biggest star? is that what you say when you come out here? the biggest star in this room? like calling yourself the thinnest girl in christy alley's house. >> joan, do you have any idea how excited i am that you would refer to me as skinny? >> oh, you are so thin.

you look like you went to shind ler's list. you're just thin, thin, thin. >> that makes me emotional. it's so sweet. i have strived for that and starved myself just for this moment. >> yeah. david brener who likes women who walk out of owswihts, david brener would think you were hot. >> you may have heard i'm in a relationship with levi jauohnsj. tell me what you felt like watching the roast. give me the dish. >> i was nervous for everybody. you want everybody to be good but not better than you're going to be. because i knew i was coming at the end and every time somebody would do a joke, i'd say, damn, i can't do danny bonaduce because they just done it. damn, i can't do a joke on whatever.

i was nervous. and very excited at the same time. >> when we have dinner, at first you were telling me in new york, you were saying, oh, you didn't know what you wanted to do it. do you get now in a really twisted way it really is an honor? >> no, i'm sorry. no. >> who are you speaking to and who are you not speaking to? >> i'm speaking to everybody, i think. you especially. i thought, oh my gosh. you know, i only have three friends left. they're either not talking to me or they're dead. i was so scared that would kill my christmas list this year. >> joan, i have to tell you, i forgot to tell you that night. i swear my jaw buzzed for three days. you clocked me. it was like a ghetto girl fight. >> i swear i didn't mean to. i swear. the next night we went to cher's house and we made up. how about that?

>> what about that moment? where the heck were the camera crews then? >> can we just -- you called me up and said, let's have dinner. then you called me and kathy said would you mind if cher joins us? you go, i can't believe this. we went to cher's house. >> cher doesn't live in a house, she lives in a compound. there's a difference. >> it's huge. >> it's huge. >> i kept thinking with all the plastic and all three of us, don't serve any flambe. please, god, we'll go up. >> i think i got implants on the way out and didn't feel it. >> she's just great. i'm crazy about her. >> tell me about your history. the reason -- i know you guys go back. i love when you told me one time cher came up to you one time and said she was angry when she wasn't in the act. >> she's very smart, cher. and i used to use her in the act and had a cut out of her. remember she had the big horn thing? i would take it and throw her on

the ground and i would say, that's her favorite position. i did all these jokes art about her. she had an iud with call waiting. on and on and on with cher about what a tramp she was. when i tooker er her out of the she came backstage with me and said, you took me out of the act. she's so damn smart. she knows people don't talk about you unless you're a big star. >> she's really cool. one of the first times i got to talk to her alone, i said, is that true? did you really say that to joan? she said, yeah, of course i want to be in the act. by the way, upon the way over there, you threw these in your purse from your collection. can i read you a text i got from cher? >> oh, yes, yes, yes. >> here we go. it was nice to see you and joan. i have mad respect for her. can you tell her i love my bracelet and want to buy ten more? i'll pay. >> i will send it to her.

i won't make her pay. maybe wholesale. >> okay. that's very unusual for an a-lister to want to pay for anything. >> she's not jewish so she doesn't have my feel about money. she's willing to pay. you know, she was a wonderful mother. we -- i love that larger blue would stay at the house. i just -- we go way back together. we go back when the children were really small. that's -- >> tell me about -- did you ever have an uncomfortable run-in with a celebrity you put in the act? >> the only bad celebrity i really ever had was what's his name? russell crow. who's just an s.o.b. and stupid. that's the only bad one. he doesn't talk to me. i'm really upset. you know who else? kathy baste got angry because i made a joke if she had not been on the titanic in the movie, it

would not have gone down. >> i have to say, that's a pretty good list. when people say, oh, i've been kicked out of better bars than this, those are two better bars to be kicked out of actually. >> who does not speak to you anymore? >> whitney, all right. >> she gave me the cracky, shaky finger. >> she doesn't talk to me either. i had a joke i was scared i would be cremated and would be snorted by whitney houston. i got a letter, but a shaky letter. >> and the problem is what? >> i'm sorry? >> i mean, what's the problem with that? >> do i know? >> no. it's a perfectly innocent, harmless joke. >> you know, they don't understand with comedians. you're there to make a joke and make people laugh. that's my job. >> hey, look, we're going to talk about money and we're going to talk about your show and how

much money you have and how you spend it and a lot-inappropriate things when we come back. we'll be right back. stick around. >> jon & kate, we have to discuss them. >> the whole gang. stop crying. you'll be okay. you're the colon lady! diarrhea, constipation, gas, bloating. that's me! can i tell you what a difference phillips' colon health has made?

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hi, it's me kathy griffin back. i am -- kathy griffin my life on the d list which is on tonight, the season finale, which is excellent.

in addition, take a look at a clip from joan rivers' tv land series "how'd you get so rich?" let's take a look. >> how did you get so rich? >> i clean toilets and sinks. you go inside to the more private and less pleasant areas. >> i bet -- >> what's the most expensive thing you ever bought? keep going. that is me before liposuction. >> the number around 15 million people. >> 15 million people want to look like [ bleep ]? i've got an idea. >> okay, joan, this show's so fantastic. now, my first question is, why do you think people don't always want to talk about money? how do you get them to talk about it? >> nobody wants to discuss this. you know? new money -- maybe talking about it you just don't understand

them. you know, fa, fa, fa, what did you say? but new money, i love new money. i love people that are still living in trailers. the rich, the limos on blocks. i got them all to talk. and the show is -- >> what is your secret? >> the secret is they know i'm a piece of new money. so we all feel compatible if that makes sense. people, kathy -- new money. new money is fun. >> i'm brand spanking new money and i love to show it off, including my joan rivers jewelry and my fancy watch. i'm going to mug myself just for this watch. >> you know what i was saying? i love when people say, i'm having a good time. i've made it myself. i've come from nowhere. i've made it myself and i'm having fun. one man said to me, i've got alan greenspan on speed dial. now, that's rich. >> that is money. that is money. >> you know what rich is? if oprah ever calls you for a loan, you know you've made it.

wouldn't that be great? i don't know oprah. >> if oprah even just called me i would just wet myself and faint. i don't think it's going to happen. joan, i need your advice. i've just completed my first book, kathy griffin official book club selection coming out september 8th. please preorder. i loved your book. tell me about the process of how did you decide of what to put in the book, who to offend, who to protect? how did you decide? >> okay. first o alf all, make a list ofl the good looking dead actors. you can say you slept with them because they're not going to come after you. seriously, tell the truth. people are not stupid. tell the truth. you've got such a story. i told you at dinner, it's going to be a huge success. either that or -- >> now, did say in the book that i had relations with barack obama. good choice or bad choice? >> barack obama, very good choice. very good choice. still a little edgy. so that's good.

people will look at you. i had relations with -- >> are you making -- >> maybe it will go on, like, ebay or something. we can sell that piece off. >> we can have the tape we have of us swinging with the obamas. >> swinging with the obamas. >> we're not saying that to get publicity for our shows at all. >> no, no. you're up for another emmy now, my darling angel. >> joan, i want to win that emmy more than i -- i would trade in my mother for that emmy. is that wrong? >> not -- no. she's old. >> okay. >> no. you have two, right? >> it's not enough, joan. my emmys are like my new money. it's not enough. >> where do you keep your emmys? >> i sleep with them so i do a lot of cuddling and spooning. every day i make sure they're real. every so often i brick myself with them to watch the blood. is that sick?

>> isn't that great? where i got my emmy as well as my tony, well i don't want to push, but it was one of the happiest moments of my life -- i'm sure you felt this way. it's something that can't ever take away from you. that's it. they can't -- >> absolutely. it is kind of unbelievable for a couple of gals like us that do our thing and tell our jokes and sometimes get in a little trouble. it's sort of an amazing moment, is it not? >> it's great. i was so happy for you. you know, i am happy for very few people. >> i'm bitter as can be. i don't like most people. i think they're wrong and we're right. >> that's why we're friends. if i ever lost my middle finger i would have nothing to say. >> mail it to me, i'll use it or vice versa. that can be our pact that we have together. i hope you're supportive of my new romantic relationship with levi johnston. >> i saw -- i don't like young

guys. i'm always scared i'll wake up and think, is this my date or did i give birth last night? i like an old guy. if that makes sense. >> well, please get ready for levi jouns thnston, because he getting ready for you. hi, levi. levi is backstage with the toddlers and tiara's crowd. they're primping. not revlevi. not playing with the kids? not on these legs. poor leg circulation. doctor says it's p.a.d. peripheral artery disease? hmmm. more than doubles your risk for a heart attack or stroke. so i hear. better ask your doctor about plavix. plavix can help protect you from a heart attack or stroke. plavix helps keep blood platelets from sticking together and forming clots, the cause of most heart attacks and strokes. my cousin the m.d. call your doctor about plavix. (male announcer) if you have a stomach ulcer or other condition that causes bleeding, you should not use plavix. when taking plavix alone or with some other medicines including aspirin,

the risk of bleeding may increase so tell your doctor before planning surgery. and, always talk to your doctor before taking aspirin or other medicines with plavix, especially if you've had a stroke. if you develop fever, unexplained weakness or confusion, tell your doctor promptly as these may be signs of a rare but potentially life-threatening condition called ttp, which has been reported rarely, sometimes in less than two weeks after starting therapy. other rare but serious side effects may occur. joan rivers was served up on a platter during her comedy central roast. boy, did we tear into her. here are just a few of the highlights. now it's time to bring up the man of the hour, comedy legends, joan rivers. >> joan, joan, joan! >> i haven't had much sleep.

i had a terrible, terrible nightmare last night that i was at my mother's funeral. the worst part was i was 75. >> joan's face has been lifted more times than bristol palin's prom dress. can we say that? >> this isn't roast, it's an autopsy. oh my gosh, joan rivers passed away four years ago. nobody sold her face. >> you are my friends. you know what you are, darling? you're a thief. yes. you stole my act, you stole my gaze and you stole the fate of the burger king. i am not happy with this. >> oh, i love it. joan is going to turn the tables and put me in the hot seat, next.

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this is joan rivers filling in for kathy griffin who is filling in for larry king who is on vacation. and hi, kathy. great to have you on. >> hello, joan. how wonderful to see you. >> how wonderful to see you. let me ask you, seriously, you know, gay men love strong women. they love you, they love me, they love richard simmons. i mean, it goes on and on and on. why do they love us so much? what do you think -- >> i think because in a way we're on the outside looking in like they are. you know, i kind of identify with gay people because they have a struggle and uphill battle. i feel like you and i have had that our whole careers. >> yeah. okay. who found you first? did the gays find you first? >> oh, no, i found the gays by mistake which is that my first boyfriend, tom, now has a boyfriend named david. so i don't know if it's the

chicken of the egg. which came first? whether i liked him because of it? also, you know, the gay audiences are so fantastic. i call them my unshock bl gays. there's nothing you can say that will shock them. >> they'll laugh at everything except barbra streisand. if you say anything -- if you dare to say she's cross eyed, they'll go, what? i have one joke in my act, if she can cross the street without looking to the right of the left. they just go -- >> that's because you're making fun of the holy messiah that is barbra streisand. i understand it's an alter we all serve at. >> you and i go back a long time. a long, long time. what was the first thing -- so many things i want to ask you. people know you are smarty and funny and things. talk about the first time you knew you were wealthy. i have "how did you get so rich"

so money is on my mind because of this show. when was the first big purchase you made? >> i bought a house year who. i bought this house that was way too big for me. everybody was saying, what are you going to do with this big house? i remember saying if i could afford it t i, i'm going to buy house so big i can die in this house. i bought a house big enough if i never worked again i would be perfectly happy in that house. i know it's boring. >> are you happy in the house? do you think you're going to go bigger? you know what happens. people get bigger and bigger and bigger and their houses get bigger and bigger and bigger. >> i love it. i want more. i love working. i love getting stuff. the best feeling is to be able to take care of my mom. that is the most important thing. in addition to that, i do love things. i'm materialistic. i find that things define me and make me happy and better.

>> do you like fur? >> i like things more than people. i like things and dogs if i would have to pick. then i would pick people third. >> okay. the other thing is last night you were out with a young, young, young man. what's your real life like? the real romance in your life? because i -- >> the real romance -- you, of course, are always advising me to find an older, wealthy guy. >> with a nurse. >> with a nurse, but not a young, sexy nurse because i don't want her mixing up my plan either. >> a bad cough, a nurse -- >> bad cough, whooping cough one might say and a nurse. do i have to pay for the nurse as well? >> he's rich. he's rich. why didn't you marry the rich guy? >> who, steve? >> why didn't you? there was, my god, you would have been set for life. >> there were a billion reasons to love him, but, you know, i guess the chemistry wasn't there

and this weird thing happened. when we were seeing each other he met someone else and married her in three weeks. >> that hurts. >> that will happen sometimes in a relationship. >> i was going out with a professor. while he was engaged to me, his wife became pregnant. so i went through heartbreak. >> well, of course. and the least he can do is, you know, pay her and the kid to go away and come back to you to find true love and get a bigger house. >> do you think you'll get married? >> i probably won't get married again. been there, done that type of a thing. like an idiot, i got a tattooed wedding ring and i'm freaking divorced. >> oh my god. you have a tattoo wedding ring? >> i foolishly believed in love. it's better to believe in work and money and success and material things. >> my god. i was going to get a tattoo. >> children and the animals. >> i have a tattoo but i'm jewish so it's a recipe. >> is it right above your butt

crack there like all the young girls have? >> it used to be on my shoulder. it's right on my buttocks now. >> wherever it landed is fine with me. >> if i ever want to make toast, i just look down. >> all right. so we've already been far too inappropriate. we're both fired, so you know. they told me in my ear piece we're both fired. >> i love you. >> i love you and thank you so much. my romantic lover levi johnston and i had one hot date last night. i'm going to tell you guys all about it. joan, good-bye. hey smart,

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welcome back to "larry king live." it's me, larry king griffin. it's me, kathy griffin. i'm sitting in for larry king. our next guest -- i hate to use the word guest. he was my date for the teen choice awards. he's the father of sarah palin's first grandchild, tripp. here he is, my own levi johnston. levi, let's just kiss and tell, shall we? what do you have there with me? >> had a great time. you look very beautiful tonight. thought i would get you a gift here. >> would you like to pin it to my beau zom? there's my bosom. not like you haven't seen it, tiger. i'm exhausted. i woke up this morning in your arms spooning. just so confused about what love is. i realize i found it in your chocolate beautiful eyes. how are you ever going to get over me, levi? >> i done kndon't know. it's going to be tough. >> can you tell me about our new

life in wasilla? >> it's going to be colder there so i'm going to have to keep you warmer. >> with your big, strong man arms around me. i'm not afraid of you. >> no. >> do you have scars from last night? >> i have a bruise in a naughty place. i love these flowers. they're very beautiful. i'm sure you got them yourself. maybe you'd like to tell your audience what your request is on the way to the hotel. that we stop for some -- >> chew. >> that's not in our future. >> it was a long day with you. you're a lot to take care of. >> all right. let's take a look at us together at last night's teen choice awards. this is an unlikely couple. i admit it. it's levi johnston. i'm kathy griffin johnston. >> best looking one around here. >> he cares for the woman inside the woman that is kathy griffin. he's actually delayed hunting

season by a day to share our love. i'm also going to slip him a -- and he'll wake up four hours later, crying. what do you think of britney's comeback? >> i don't really pay attention to other women. >> see, he only has eyes for me. levi, we were even in a twirling fashion shot. i don't do as much modeling as you do. >> well, you look good. >> i cannot get enough of you, honestly. now, what kind of modeling would you like to do? i'm seeing underwear campaign. >> that would work, you know? >> i think so, too. >> yeah. >> tell me what it was like the first time you had to wear makeup. you don't care for the hollyweird makeup. >> that was the biggest -- one of the best times right there. >> can you stop looking at my rack and look at my face,

please? >> i'm trying, you know. >> i know it's incredible. i'm a person, levi, i'm not just a sex object. how could you not shave? you're on "larry king." >> you said you like me scruffy. >> i do like you stuffy, dirty dog, you. tell me how last night, the red carpet compared to the gop convention. more screaming for john mccain or the jonas brothers? >> i would say the jonas brothers and twilight. >> you called robert pattison your home boy. he gets as many screams from the ladies as you do. >> he's getting there. >> i'm going to show you a picture from last night and you tell me your feelings. who is this? >> the dude with the sword in his finger. >> who is this? >> that would be -- i don't know. >> it's amanda bins. >> i'm sorry. >> levi, you know it's amanda bins. when she walked by in a tight dress, you talked about how i had a different body.

>> that's true. >> levi, we practiced this. this is completely off the cuff. how dare you. here is lehtinen meister from "gossip girl." which i think you should make a guest appearance on. i really do. here is chase crawford who is not as hot as you are. here's my favorite. this is noah cyrus. she's one of the cyruss. but she's a little boy with a boy's name who had an ark. can you make sense of this, levi? >> i can't, no. >> would you say you had to act as my bodyguard for a moment when billy ray cyrus was giving me the evil eye? >> i thought we were going to get into that for a minute. >> who would win in that one? >> only on, now. >> here he is now. >> that's him. >> he better look out. you're coming after him. could we talk about miley cyrus'

performance? miley cyrus was at the teen choice awards. she comes out in the set of the trailer which is clearly her own home they drove out there. she comes out in sexy nhot pant and started grinding and did a number on the stripper pole. levi who is 19 turns to me and says, isn't she 16? that shocked you, levi and you're 19. >> it did. she did her little thing on the pole. i thought it was a bit inappropriate for the teen awards. >> i agree. you know, even though i'm older than you, i just turned 24, still i think it was too much. all right. this is a pretty lady named -- >> i have no clue. >> you don't have to. it's ellen degeneres. meagan fox, you did like her. >> that would be meagan fox. >> she did have the shortest dress of the evening. i know you didn't notice that. what do you think of the twilight kids? do you remember when he went to the bathroom the whole crowd cheered in. >> yeah, i do.

we don't mean to imply he actually urinated in the theater. he exited to go to the bathroom. have you seen twilight? >> no. >> can it be one of our dates? >> it can. >> talk to me about brit. do you feel like it was good brit, hopped up on the goof balls? what do you think. >> i think she spoke half her speech before anyone could hear anything she was saying. >> because the cheers were overwhelming. all right. there's one more picture i think was the photo of the evening. >> that's the one right there. >> america, do you think levi and i make a good couple? go to cnn.com/larryking. click on blog and let us know. i'm dying to hear what you think. although i can't take my eyes off levi. levi is going places with his life and i got the whole lowdown. how long is our love going to last? it's coming up next. that lasts up to 16 hours? with thermacare® heatwraps. that's 8 hours while you wear it, plus an additional 8 hours of relief after you take it off! thermacare® delivers heat that penetrates deep,

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levi, how are you going to survive without me? tell me what your day is going to be without me. you wake up -- >> i spend most of my time eating because i'm depressed when you're not around. >> i understand. the other thing we have in common people may not know, we sort of have unfortunate tattoos. here's my wedding ring. i'm divorced. you, of course, have bristol. what is your plan? are you going to change it to something else? what are you going to do with it? >> i'm not sure yet. what are you thinking?

>> is there a way to, like, make it tripp? >> i don't think i'd want tripp on my ring finger. >> that would be kind of weird. how did you guys come up with the name tripp? what does tripp mean? >> i just like the name. bristol mentioned it, and it just kind of worked. >> all right. now, you're still in contact with bristol. you guys are getting along to a degree. >> yeah. >> all right. you know my plan. my plan is that sarah could make all the trouble go away if she moves you into the big house, everybody gets along and you actually get to help raise the kid. why is that a problem? >> i don't know. she screwed all that up. i'm not looking forward to being around that family anymore. >> i understand. that's how guys are with in my family. we all get along together. now, last night when we were together, between many sessions of making tender love, at the teen choice awards, someone handed me a letter to give miley cyrus because i know her so

well. so i did promise to try. so if you wouldn't mind reading -- this is a genuine letter from a genuine teen to miley cyrus. so miley, if you're out there, we want to make sure you got this letter as read to you by levi johnston. >> okay. it says dear miley cyrus, my name is josephine -- >> you said that like you're -- my name is josephine. hi, girl, what's up? >> miley, tune in right now. the first time i knew you -- what the hell's that say? >> levi, tell me you can read. >> the first time i knew you existed, i would beg my mother to take a -- or buy a picture of you. could you just call this number once in a while? >> don't read the number. >> okay. please. >> unless it's yours. >> please, thank you. i know i could trust you, so the number is -- >> don't say it. >> i'm not going to say it. >> could you take your clothes off real quick?

>> yeah -- you might want to wait until the cameras are off. >> then what? my pants are falling off just thinking about it levi. what's going to happen when i get angry mail from bristol because of our serious relationship? >> i think you can handle her. >> you're down right i can. she's not going to know what hit her. look up, lehtinen meister, whatever the hell those gossip girls are named. we're going to come back with levi in a second. i have one more thing to ask you about pertaining to last night. are you ready to go there with me? there's nowhere we haven't gone. tom. now, i know the catering business but when i walked in here i wasn't sure what i needed. i'm not sure what i need. tom showed me how to use mifi to get my whole team working online, on location. i was like, "woah". woah ! only verizon wireless has small business specialists in every store to help you do business better. you're like my secret ingredient. come in today and connect up to five devices

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wasilla. tell me what it's going to be like when you take me a-hunting. >> going to be long days. hard working and cold. >> what are we hunting for? hugs? kisses? >> yeah. >> and what kind of a gun will we use? water pistol? >> yeah. that will work. >> like the rubber bow and arrow thing like that? have you ever shot yourself hunting? >> no. >> are you sure? because you took a sec to think about it. >> no. >> who are our hunting buddies going to be? >> i think we need anyone. >> it's just you and me and guns and running moose? and the plural of moose is? >> just moose. >> are you sure. >> pretty sure, yes. >> how many moose have oyou sho in one day? >> one day or just one. >> they just screamed the word break in one ear. i think i may have gone too far. next, kids with crowns. beauty pageant toddlers who look

like teenagers. what is up with hat? u know, it s me feel pretty good. we're offering a solution for a customer that maybe has to choose between paying their credit card or putting food on the table and that's why they call us. our main objective is to reach out to the customers that are falling behind on their payments. a lot of customers are proud and happy that bank of america actually has a solution to help them out with their cards. i listen. that's the first thing i do is listen. you know what, what happened? what put you in this situation? and everyone's situation is different. we always want to make sure that we're doing what's best for our cardholders. i'll go through some of his monthly expenses, if he has a mortgage payment, if he pays rent. and then i'll use all that information to try and see what kind of a payment he financially can handle. i want to help you. bank of america wants to help you through this difficult time. when they come to you and they say thank you, aj, for helping me with this problem, that's where we get our joy from.

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coming up at the top of the hour an "360" from town hall to ballroom brawl. the heat continuing to rise on community forums on health care taking place across the country. hundreds of people showing up the to events and lacing into their elect eed representatives. what's behind it? we went to one of the town halls to talk to the people there. it was an interesting conversation. every year to tour manhattan. we wanted to know who's watching the skis. we centre ka hill up in a helicopter to find out.

all that, plus the coroner said the autopsy of michael jackson is complete. we'll let you know when the rules will be released. that all starts at the top of the hour on "360." welcome to the 2009 beauty pageant. >> pageants are a big business. today there's over 100 contestants. >> aden is a whole 3 days old. this is an amazing pageant. >> i love it. >> the new highpoint winner for inland empire 2009 goes to -- >> hi, everybody, i'm kathy griffin and welcome to my personal dream come true. our next guests are featured on "toddlers & tiaras" airing sunday night on tlc. i'm with cassidy blair and erin

salazar. we have a sneak peek of an upcoming episode of "toddlers & tiaras." or as my gays and i tell me, t & t. >> we're going to be getting her nails done, hair trimmed. medicare, facial. >> facial. >> what's your favorite part? >> my nails. >> 2009, gold coast queen. >> all right, ladies, it is a pleasure to meet you. now who's who? what's your name? >> emily. >> hi, emily. will you shake my hand? thank you, like a perfect lady. you must be? >> cassie. >> now, ladies, would this be

considered glitz wear? >> yes. >> cass? >> yes. >> i think so, too. now, i understand you guys probably know how to walk. would you mind teaching me how to walk? mind teaching me how to walk? i would like to learn for my first pageant. do you have any tips. show them what you got, girls. and then what what do you do when you get to the end of runway? >> you make a circle. >> emily, make a circle. >> then we walk. >> where do we walk to? >> we walk in a circle. emily, focus. this isn't weird at all. i love it. do we have an ending pose? >> no. then we -- we have to move back.

we are getting yelled at. it is like they are judges. what is our ending pose? >> we don't have one but we, like do -- we like turn around. >> okay. and then do we offer them money to win? >> no. >> here's 20 bucks, what do you got? you might want to think about it because you have to have an edge in this business. tell me about these incredible, beautiful dresses. they look very, very fancy and glitzy. do you like your glitzy dress? >> yeah. >> yes. >> do you want to go to child protective services? >> yeah. okay. i'm just asking. would you call this a cream or ivory? i would, too. cass, is this one, do you have other glitz dresses as well? >> no. >> this is the main one. that is all you need. that is glitzy.

now, is this maybe -- as mrs. kathy calls it magic hair? >> no. >> no, it's not. neither is mine. i agree. we are in this together. exactly what are the pageants preparing the girls for. we will ask the grown ups next. so will you guys come back? >> yes. >> okay. good. you look so cute. daily use... a clinically proven, low-dose tablet for erectile dysfunction you take every day so you can be ready anytime the moment is right. tell your doctor about your medical condition and all medications and ask if you're healthy enough for sexual activity. don't take cialis if you take nitrates for chest pain, as this may cause an unsafe drop in blood pressure. don't drink alcohol in excess with cialis. side effects may include headache, upset stomach, delayed backache or muscle ache. to avoid long term injury seek immediate medical help for an erection lasting more than 4 hours. if you have any sudden decrease or loss in hearing or vision

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>> she has blonde hair and blue eyes. her favorite person is her mommy. >> i don't like beyonce that much. my mom forces me to smile. >> when cassidy is on stage my palms are sweating. in my head i'm thinking, please

smile. please smile. >> one word that best describes? >> all right. we are with julie and alex. you are a pageant mom and pat dad. you are not married? >> no. >> have you had an affair? >> no. >> i, of course, am fascinated with this pageant thing. i watch the show. tell me about the different crowns and what they mean. >> emily won this one, magical dream world, minigrand supreme which is an honor. this is from california gold coast overall model of the year. throughout the whole pageant. she had the best model scores. >> now what does that mean? >> i'm frightened. how much for the big one? >> how much does she win? >> i'm offering you $40. will you take it or leave it?

>> leave it. >> i am interested in the finances of the whole thing. when i watch the show there are entrance fees. this is a crown for this pageant? >> golden carousel. >> how much did it cost to get into the golden carousel? >> this year they did one divisional supreme. each winner won $500. >> do you have to sign up and register? >> yes, you do. >> how much is that. >> for a national it is going to cost -- [ audio deleted ] it can cost up to $1,000, between $400 and $1,000. >> does that include the dresses? the best prize you can win is $500? >> no. this was one certain pageant. >> what is the biggest cash prize you can win from one of these national contests. >> i have heard up to $10 theechb cars. >> win a car.

you don't want one of those situations where they don't pay taxes. how much did you spend on emily's glitz dress we saw? >> that is a creation by -- >> of the creator. >> it was a $1,300 dress, glamour girl creations. it was a nice dress. >> that is the scam i have to get into. i want to start hosting these pageants. get a marriott and double tree and make people pay 500 bucks to enter. do all the kids win some kind of prize? >> in most pageants. >> do some kids go home everity handed? >> in some pats yes. >> what is that like? >> it is hard. the pageant system is a good system. it teaches the kids self-confidence. there is a lot of good, positive stuff out of it. >> i don't know if you have sold me.

i'm entering, don't get me wrong. how young do the kids enter? i have seen babies with a bonnet and they are just little babies. how young can you be to enter? >> any age. you can be a couple weeks old if your mother wants to put you in. >> a two-week-old pageant? >> you can. >> i wouldn't put a puppy in a pageant at that age. >> what do they judge them on? >> honestly, i wouldn't know. i'm not a judge. >> where do they get these judges? >> they are usually -- >> gay hair dressers. >> ex-contestants, past contestants parents. sometimes they use a miss california or sometimes they use -- >> not the current one, i hope. she is in a lot of controversy. >> sometimes they use talent agents. >> oh. who maybe get compensated. >> sometimes the talent agents stick their cards in the gift

bags. >> of course they do. tell me the pros and cons of pageant life. i'm sure there is a part of you that is nervous because you are exposing these kids to who knows what and things you love. >> i love the friends she makes. it is a pageant family we are around. i see a lot of positive for her. the negative, i wouldn't say there is too much negative for us. maybe in other systems but not the ones we are doing. >> would you say denial is a river in egypt? >> no. >> you reminded me of my mour. are there good pat days and bad pageant days? >> definitely. cassidy had a bad pageant day in a national when she was 3 years old. she had been doing great. and then during beauty she picked her nose and lifted her dress. >> i did that