tonight, kathy griffin confessions. >> i had plastic surgery that is like csi crime photos. >> the family dysfunction. >> when i was a little girl, he was very inappropriate with me. >> and the deep down desire to look like kate. >> i think it's a better book than michael. >> unbelievable, unsensorsed, unleashed. the queen of the divas tells us right here, right now, on "larry king live."

>> larry: it is always a great pleasure to welcome kathy griffin to this program. she's the emmy winning star of "my life on the d-list" and the author of the memoir according to kathy griffin. a memoir according to you? >> i don't always get days right. >> larry: so maybe this is right? >> no, it's right. maybe something happened on a thursday and -- look, it's not according to larry king. >> larry: and when you say a special book club -- >> it's been chosen by oprah's book club. >> larry: has oprah said that? >> yes cl.

>> larry: kathy? and, oh, larry. eating disorders and i actually and people think you have a what else would you expect? and let's get serious first and then we'll go from there. >> am i -- >> you know that oprah is

interviewing wit three houston and she said that she actually had to pray the night before to the lord to inspire her to give a good interview. now, how much did you pray last night about this? >>. >> larry: oprah had to pray? >> yeah. >> larry: why would oprah have to pray -- >> she had a connection and she had to pray to do a good interview. how much were you up last night praying. is herbie single? >> larry: no. you write about low self-esteem, binge eating, plastic surgery. >> i have plastic surgery pictures in there like they are csi photos. >> larry: you like how you look now? >> sometimes. sometimes i say hi fox see and everything in between. >> what about today? >> today i feel because i prayed about this last night. >> and you're way wearing a

sapphi sapphire-colored dress? >> that's right. >> larry: why would you photos of lipo? >> because this is what it looks like. it's not just going to get your teeth cleaned. it looks like this. i call that my rihanna photo because i look like rihanna. can we talk about that for one second? larry, you had to work for that chris brown photo. i don't want to talk about it, he beat the crap out of that girl. >> larry: do i deserve a medal for that? >> i think maybe an emmy and a tony. >> larry: okay. your book included the lipo. you almost died the first time you did lipo. would you go back again? >> look, life is a process, i've

found, and i prayed about that a lot i think it's funny that oprah prayed to do a good interview on whitney houston. did you see her on abc? >> larry: no. >> she looked a little cracky. i'm just saying it appeared that there would be an outside chance. >> did you a nose job at 26. >> yes, my first of two. i got two nose jobs and i'm upset because i think it actually grew back and i just wear -- >> larry: why? >> because i just wear bangs any way. my new book is called, i just

don't need one anymore. >> why didn't you tell me it was going to be so hard? >> because you pour yourself out and give it time. i didn't have that much time because we were doing the d-list and they were doing a story about writing a book and he did the structure and i came in and hopefully brought the funny. >> larry: okay. now, let's -- what advice would you give to somebody watching, contemplating plastic surgery and has never done it? >> if you haven't done it, i would say, don't do it. but, look, i'm on television and i'm a girl and self-conscious about the way i look. you can't just go by me. what i would say s. if i wasn't on television, i honestly wouldn't have done it. if i was still a teller, i would never have done it. but i think being on tv and -- >> larry: so telling people don't do it -- >> if you don't have to. you shouldn't ever have surgery if you don't have to.

i was a terrible teller, larry, in fact, one in santa monica and one in illinois. >> larry: fired for what? >> sometimes i would give out money to people if i liked them. like twice i gave $100 out to people. >> larry: just like that? >> yes. i didn't know that there was a thing at the end of the day called accounting, settling. so i got fired because twice i gave away $100 to two different people. >> you like bingeing. you don't really purge. >> yes. >> larry: what does that mean? >> i like cakes and cupcakes and frosting and things that are fried. i don't like salads or healthy things so it's a battle aulgs to eat well. >> larry: what are your vices? >> junk food and bad men what are yours? bad men. we know that.

>> larry: kathy has a family secret that's a shocker. we'll hear from her about that next. natural gas is a cleaner burning fuel, yet a lot of natural gas has impurities like co2 in it. controlled freeze zone is a new technology... being developed by exxonmobil... to remove the co2 from the natural gas... so we can safely store it... where it won't get into the atmosphere. exxonmobil is spending more than 100 million dollars... to build a plant that will demonstrate this process. i'm very optimistic about it... because this technology could be used... to reduce greenhouse gas emissions significantly. ♪

kathy griffin wrote the official book -- >> you're not supposed to laugh at the requested that it could be on the oprah book club. >> larry: you didn't have to write about him. >> i couldn't write the book without writing about him.

the whole idea of the book was to have things serious parts, like anybody else, life has ups and downs and so my late brother, kenny, was -- he went to prison and he was a homeless and a crack head and -- >> larry: and a pedophile? bau he was never charged with that? why do you think he was? >> he was never charged with that but he was. first of all, when i was a little girl, he was very sexually inappropriate with me and he never -- i don't know what the word for it is. when i was a little kid, i'd be in my bed and he would -- i mean little kid, like under 10 years old. >> larry: how old was he when he died? >> he was 60. but he creeped into my bed and whispered sweet nothingings into my ear and --

>> larry: what about your mother? >> my family has lived through this and i think my mom and dad obviously had a very difficult time with kenny, as the whole family did. and he was very influential to me because when you have somebody in the family or the house like that with that energy and -- it's really a big thing to deal with. and the thing that's been particularly tough on my mom, who is very strong and on the d list and she's very funny and my father pacssed away a couple of years ago and my brother kenny actually died in her arms. >> larry: and you have three

other siblings. >> yes, two brothers and a sister. they are all smart and quick and witty. >> larry: kenny was the oldest? >> yes. >> larry: do you often wonder why he was so different? >> absolutely. my mom said that he unfortunately, it's the irish-catholic thing of not talking about this stuff and it was so long ago. this is behavior i saw in him 40 dwreers ago. it's almost as if we didn't have that back then. >> you mentioned that in the book. you write, my ego couldn't take the speculative chatter and somehow the old battle kathy griffin ran her poor sweet cows ininto it was that hard to

write? >> yes, it was hard to write it. as i look back at my marriage, i was blissfully happy and then i think i found out that maybe the marriage wasn't what i thought and maybe my husband wasn't quite the guy that i thought he was and it just made me question everything. everything. and, you know, i was doing a reality show at the time and how do you deal with a reality show that is comedy driven. i was trying to figure it out. it all had to sort of play out. some of it on camera and some of it off. >> you have a tattooed wedding ring? >> yes, and i'm divorced. i've had five laser treatments to get it off but it won't come off. >> do you want to mary again? >> i don't think so. >> larry: did you want children? >> no, i never wanted children. i was a career girl. >> larry: what is that? >> why are you questioning our love? >> larry: did you read his piece

in "vanity fair""? >> yes, i did. >> larry: it reveals things. >> i revealed quite a bit of things to leaf vie ave vie and me. >> larry: kathy griffin can't get enough of kate and she'll transform before our eyes. but crestor can help slow the buildup of plaque in arteries. go to arterytour.com and take an interactive tour to learn how plaque builds up. and then ask your doctor if crestor is right for you. along with diet, crestor does more than lower bad cholesterol and raise good. crestor is proven to slow the buildup of plaque in arteries. crestor isn't for everyone, like people with liver disease, or women who are nursing, pregnant, or may become pregnant. simple blood tests will check for liver problems.

you should tell your doctor about other medicines you're taking or if you have muscle pain or weakness. that could be a sign of serious side effects. learn more about plaque buildup at arterytour.com. then ask your doctor if it's time for crestor. if you can't afford your medication, astrazeneca may be able to help. we're back with kathy griffin. i'm not sure if this is for lifetime or a jimmy kimmel production, either way, watch. >> here is her new movie. take a look.

>> hi, honey. >> hi. >> want to grab that for us here? >> and she was a tabloid superstar. >> that's right. look at these mama abs. >> you don't love the kids. >> of course i love kids. have you seen my girl it's john gosselin. kate is enough. the kate gosselin story only on lifetime. >> we got advice from kate and what she's doing now and why she

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kate goss lynn? >> i love that show. i've been watching it since it was about an innocent christian show and now they don't mention the jesus so much. jon gosselin and kate has the rosie o'donnell lesbian haircut. >> why do you like it so much? >> because i like how it's changed into breaking into a drama -- i know this is a terrible and makes me a bad person. i could watch someone's marriage fall apart all day long. i never get enough of it jon

gave an interview about his he is stranged wife a few days ago. here's his comment. >> i don't trust her anymore. i was verbally abused. i was beaten down. she used to hold the kids over my head yp can't i spend time with my mom and my kids together? i'm not going back to that lifestyle. >> do you like him. >> he's so delusional. i can't believe i haven't slept with him. he's so my type and he doesn't know it yet. even chris cuomo's head exploded. you can see him going, did you not just say that. so now jon gosselin for a comedian show is like the gift that keeps on giving. i would sleep with him and kate in a three-way and tape it and

send it to you. >> larry: and i would watch it. >> once you have the haircut and you can't decide what it is, she doesn't know if she's a lesbian or -- >> there's a buzz, divorced dad's club starring jon gosselin starring kevin federline. >> it's also the biggest loser. let's face it, they look like they are pregnant at this point. >> kids being on reality shows. >> i would like everyone to be on a reality show. i have a situation many w my mother when sheefs 89 and she's kind of the lindsey lohan and i'm the diva. i'm the stage mother to my own mother. and we violate all sorts of labor laws, i'm sure. it's sort of elder abuse, i'm sure. >> was jon gosselin your type? >> because he can get me on the

picture of a cover magazine. >> larry: same thing? >> well, kind of. >> we're going to get to levi johnson in a minute. >> we have a lot to get to. by the way, i was on the tyra banks show and she said, would you rather have sex with you or regis and i picked you. >> larry: that was a question on the show? >> you don't watch tire ra every day? >> larry: no. >> of course you do. remember how sad -- the baby daddy's -- remember the female empowerment show? which is your favorite tire ra? >> larry: when she was on our show, she was a good guest. i think she's going to be back. she's kind of semi -- >> you have to wear your real hair when tire ra is here. >> larry: what are you talking about? this is my real hair.

stop it. >> take out your extensions and just be yourself, larry. >> larry: what does kathy want more? kathy is a tough call after the break. 4 times the number... of pills compared to aleve. choose aleve and you could start taking fewer pills. just 2 aleve have the strength... to relieve arthritis pain all day. 90s slacker hip-hop. ♪ that can strain your relationships and hurt yourody 'cause ru'pride ♪ng a ride ♪ ♪ it's the credit roller coaster ♪ ♪ and as you can see it kinda bites! ♪ ♪ so sing the lyrics with me: ♪ when your debt goes up your score goes down ♪ ♪ when you pay a little off it goes the other way 'round ♪ ♪ it's just the same for everybody, every boy and girl ♪ ♪ the credit roller coaster makes you wanna hurl ♪ ♪ so throw your hands in the air, and wave 'em around ♪ ♪ like a wanna-be frat boy trying to get down ♪ ♪ then bring 'em right back to where your laptop's at... ♪ ♪ log on to free credit report dot com - stat! ♪

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>> all right, you say number one you have to contradict that. so when i say something, where are we going to be? you're in the audience. we can't yell from the audience. >> yes, you can. >> oh, my god. i wasn't planning on that. >> they are natural. >> larry: what was with your hair? >> i was in the middle of being done. i'm not always perfect, larry. >> larry: you have an on ter rauj. >> i know. it's going to air on the e channel the day before the real emmy's, primetime, which is september 19th. >> larry: oh. >> they are doing a whole special about it. >> you have already one two. >> i have won two hemmy's and i

want two more. >> larry: why? >> you have gone to bed over an emmy? >> larry: i have. >> i make no apologies. hey, can you call barbara walters for me? i've been banned from "the view" and i've been because my book was so riveting and barbara is not going to be there so can you ask her to get her butt in the seat? >> how do you know i know you have those kind of hookups, larry. >> i do. >> the question is, what do you care? it doesn't have to be barbara there. it doesn't have to be a star any way. >> to call barbara and say, she's going to be a star any

way. it would kill her. >> why doesn't she like you? >> because sometimes i make fun of her in a way that is a loving tribute. >> in what way do you make fun of her? >> well, on one of my specials she made a joke that she likes to use astroglide which is a sexual lubricant. and so i talked about it in one of my sessions and i guess she didn't talk about that. i like the idea of barbara walters, getting laid and getting played. but can i tell you who's going to be the host that day? >> yeah. >> you ready? >> la toya jackson. >> the host? >> larry: you just hi just had dinner with her. >> what am i going to ask her? she's had more dental work than me and joan rivers put together, you know what i'm saying? >> larry: well, your antiques road show. >> those bastards, screw them.

>> larry: the dog whisperer and myth busters. >> i'm screwing my way to the middle. >> who's the toughest of those? >> well, you never no. mythbusters -- >> larry: what do they do? >> they bust myths, i guess. they are all very good shows. can i just say that half of these people don't show up to the show. can i just have one because i actually really, really care? >>. >> larry: they don't show up to their own show? >> yes. >> larry: what is better, winning an emmy or -- >> winning an emmy is better than anything. i just happen to have a natural bic keno bod. i prayed to get a banging bikini bod. >> i'd like to know the last time you prayed for a good

interview. >> larry: never. >> what about queen nore? >> larry: never. >> what about marie osmond? >> you know that it's going to be a good moment because you don't know whether she's going to cry or -- >> larry: i'm a conduit. >> can we -- this is a fant stee i've always wanted with you. can i pretend that i'm chris brown and you ask me probing questions and i'm going to be a good guest? >> larry: all right. was it hard to write about plastic surgery. >> i don't know. >> larry: take this one, mark geragos. can you believe after beating the crap out of that poor girl. if you've had a heart attack

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comeback, levi? >> i don't pay attention to other women. >> see, he only has eyes for me. >> larry: the book is official book club memoir according to kathy griffin available wherever books are sold. >> i believe that i can outsell the bible. >> larry: what are you basing that on. >> i believe it's a better book than the bible. there's your sound bite on access hollywood right there. the bible is good, however -- >> larry: you think you can top moses and the red sea? >> yes, because the bible doesn't have any plastic surgery photos at all and the bible doesn't have really awesome stories about celebrities that i run into. the bible doesn't mention you. the bible never makes fun of

oprah once. >> does oprah ever invited you on her show? >> i was on the oprah show once. >> larry: really? what subject? >> plastic surgery. >> levi -- >> my fiancee -- >> is talking about pose forge playgirl. >> and he should do gay porn. >> but the gays want a piece of him. he's adorable and charming and you've had him here. he can just talk and talk and talk. you can't shut him up. >> you can. >> he has thoughts about health care reform and global warming. i saw him at the conference. he was the key note speaker. any way, i do. i think he should pose naked as much as possible and i want you to know that my relationship with him is legitimate and in fact that i am pregnant with

levi's baby and i'm breaking it here on the show. >> larry: oh, my gosh, he's made another girl pregnant? >> yes, which is weird, because i didn't even have one egg left. i feel it kicking. >> the vanity fair article was -- >> was awesome. >> were you surprised how critical he was about his soon to be but never happened mother-in-law? >> i actually just spent time with him so -- >> larry: your reaction to some other things. ellen degeneres is going to be a judge on "american idol." >> paula abdul didn't know what she said. ellen is too lucid for this show. she better hit the bucket of con

know pin. >> it's harder to be bigger than he was but i am fascinated by the whole circus around that. and let me tell you something, here is why i am going to give you a hug the minute i hop over this table. is i cannot even get over your interview with joe jackson. who is so insane with those tattooed drag queen eyebrows because i believe at night he does the la toya and i knew the guy was freaky but we didn't know how freaky he was until we sat in this chair and said, michael did not wake up no more. how do you keep a straight face on this show? i mean, right? >> larry: i've got to do it with you, i can do it with anyone. >> but come on. >> larry: jay leno is going to 10:00 live across the board. >> i think it's going to do great. the network loves that. and -- >> larry: you can't drag him down because if you drag him down any more then the -- >> and then it goes on for the

rest of the night. look, it's all changing. i'm on a little fake cable network that not that many people watch and i get to do my thing on my show, which i love. i don't even know the network world. >> >> larry: do you think he can beat something like csi miami? >> he might. >> larry: and he's got larry seinfeld. >> that's right. he could kill someone and then they could be like, who killed this person and they could solve the crime. i'm just thinking outside my box. >> larry: more with kathy griffin next. i've been growing algae for 35 years.

most people try to get rid of algae, and we're trying to grow it. the algae are very beautiful. they come in blue or red, golden, green. algae could be converted into biofuels... that we could someday run our cars on. in using algae to form biofuels, we're not competing with the food supply. and they absorb co2, so they help solve the greenhouse problem, as well. we're making a big commitment to finding out... just how much algae can help to meet... the fuel demands of the world. our hero of the week is alex griffin. he's now 16. we always wanted to give back to his homeland and as a boy scout, an avid boy scout, he decided to use his eagle scout project to

build and help russian children. so what is it you do? how does it work? >> when you're a life scout or a boy scout, you have to start -- you can start your eagle and one of the requirements is eagle scout requirement number five which states as the plan develops to give leadership to the service project. >> larry: how do you get the money to them? >>. >> i do fund raidsing activities. >> you're building a playground for children in russia. is it in moscow? >> it's above the center of moscow. >> larry: it took 2 1/2 years to complete and on your 16th birthday you went back for the dedication. what was that like? >> it was very cool and

interesting. >> and he's getting other projects together. thank you, alex. our deserving hero of the week. building a playground back for his playground. our hero of the week, alex griffin. right now, there's a nurse saving a life in baltimore. 20 minutes later, she'll bring one into the world in seattle. later today, she'll help an accident victim in kansas. how can one nurse be in all these places? through the nurses she taught in this place. johnson & johnson knows, behind every nurse who touches a life... there's a nurse educator... who first touched them. ♪ you're a nurse ♪ you make a difference

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hey. >>. don't worry. i brought you a doll. ta-da. it's the wrong doll. i saw the doll you were talking about. not funny. a bow tie and cute little hat. i thought it was a riot. i'll be watching. >> it's so great. it was like heaven. i mean, it really was great. the second time i did the show

was the week that he announced that he was quitting and it was just exciting to be there. and i love him. i can just talk to him all day. >> a genius. >> national treasurer. genius. >> a couple other things. you did a photo for the no hate campaign about gay marriage and the like. >> yes. >> they taped your mouth shut, right? >> right. >> was that hard for to you do that? >> for me to have my mouth taped shut? i thought i was dying. if i could not be talking smack about celebrities, i had a panic attack and they had to -- >> larry: but you were a stand-up girl, would you do it. >> of course, i'm all about the legal lie zags of gay marriage. although, i thought this was controversial. i am taking a political stand now that i am going to mary levi and i'm this close to living in the white house, i am against heterosexual marriage being legal. look, i'm a bitter did i

divorcee. i want gay people to legally marry and straight people should go to jail if they marry. >> what's the thinking behind that? >> because i'm a smart, educated woman who wants what she wants. plus, oprah telling me about being chosen in the her book. >> larry: do you think you would have success without being in the gay community? >> no. >> larry: why do gays love you? i get them. he i know them. i read about all of this in the book. you have to work harder, jump higher. you've got to keep working harder than the next guy. we have that in common. >> so therefore, you compare yourself to bet mi

yourself to bette midler? >> i'm icon adjacent. i'm a dicon. >> larry: you love cher? >> i love cher. all of those ladies, i look at, love them, i enjoy them. >> >> larry: you sell out best on concert tours. >> i have a beautiful theater and, yeah, i performed about 12,000 people -- >> do you like mandalay in vegas and, yeah, i do the garden in new york and i do in los angeles the universal amphitheater. >> larry: i'm going to read it on the plane. >> you are? >> larry: do you criticize steve martin in the book? >> i don't go hard on him. i could if it would help me. >> but why do you --

>> look, i talk about all of my celebrities and the steve martin story is out of left field. i was on martin

i loof love it. obama is being heckled in clubs like i am. >> larry: i see representatives in the senate, meaning he threw out a threat. >> larry: all right. one more segment. will she ever get off the d-list? does she want to get off the d-list? that's next.

>> will you move? >> i'm not going to tell you anything. just walk around the room. yeah, it's bad. i know. >> i remember that was custom ledger. >> i know. >> it's a $20,000 sofa. >> and it wasn't him. >> i swear she knows we're talking about her. she knows. oh, she's right out there. >> is she chewing the railing? >> probably. >> we give her chew toys. >> larry: some things in your book that might say an uproar. you say that politics is show business for ugly people? >> yeah. >> larry: explain. >> everybody wants to be in show business, regardless of what they say. that's one thing i learned from having a reality show. it is shocking that people want to be on it and why they want to be on it. >> larry: look at jerry springer. why would anyone go on jerry springer? >> you know, i'm secretly in love with jerry springer and you know he has more money than you by a mile.

>> he owns his own show. >> he owns everything. we're just players. we're just puppets. >> larry: okay. you think everybody wants -- >> i do. i believe that everybody wants to be in show business. >> political people? >> the political people are the worst of all. okay, what about the guy yesterday? the guy that started talking about spanking? >> larry: yeah, conservative republican member of the house of the senate. >> i love when they're conservative. that is always a little bit richer. >> larry: he is moralist of the year. >> of course, they have the moral compass we're supposed to follow. >> they show up in their hair and makeup and it's a joke. we had a president that is a joke for eight years. >> what do you make of senator craig in minnesota? >> hilarious. my gays are all over the larry craig thing. you put the foot down in the stall that means i'm a top. >> larry: really? those are signals? >> there are all kinds of signals about who is top and bottom. >> larry: in men's rooms? >> in men's rooms and lots of men's clubs and churches.

>> larry: churches? >> uh-huh. >> larry: one thing in your book is that you're working in a man's world. show business is sexist. >> right. >> larry: has it gotten any better? >> a little. >> you're here for an hour. >> i'm here for an hour. it's exciting for you. it's taxing for me. i don't know if i'm here because of my awesome rack or because of my rack inside my head. you know what i mean? >> larry: because you're bright, brilliant and funny. >> all right. but i also caught you looking at my rack. so i don't know which it is anymore. i just caught you again. see. >> larry: you think you're a sex pot? >> i think i'm a sex object. you know what, there is too much going on inside for you to objectify me as a dumb gorgeous bimbo. >> how do you know when a man is interested in you? >> wli tell him to have sex with me. >> larry: you go right up to him? >> i do. >> larry: you're very forward? >> i'm forward. i'm from the wrong side of the tracks. i'm what you call a bad girl. i make the move, yeah. sometimes they cry. i'm not going to lie. >> larry: do you usually carry

around viagra? >> i have viagra, although you don't need it, tiger. and i have a lot of barbara walters left over astro glide. >> larry: you would visit levi in alaska? >> i'm going to share an igloo with him. >> larry: hold it. you're going to do a show out of alaska? >> i may leave show business and go kick it in wasilla. he calls it ahuntin'. >> yeah, i'm going to go -- i changed, larry. take a look. the beautiful hollywood glamour puss is leaving and relocating to wasilla to be mrs. johnston. >> we led this as the tease. do you want to be on the d-list? >> yes, i'm firmly planted here and enjoy it. >> larry: who's on the c list? >> i don't know. maybe like a tv sidekick, somebody like that.

like the a-list is big movie stars. then the b-list is maybe tv stars. and then the c-list is the sort of sidekick world. and then you have me and the car dashians. >> that's where you include yourself? >> yeah, it's pitiful. i'm not proud. but i'm home. >> larry: all right. good book. you're on a book tour? >> yes. i did a signing which is exciting. and i'm going to do one in chicago and los angeles. and i'm on a comedy tour all the time. >> larry: you are excited about having a book? >> i'm excited. >> larry: you're in the library of congress. >> what? where is that? >> larry: should be in the side of the book here. you mentioned it. >> what do they do there? that sounds important. >> larry: there you are. see. united states biography official book library of congress. printed in the united states of america. >> does that mean i can write any legislation or change any laws? >> larry: no, when you go to congress and ask the librarian i want to see bios. >> it will be there? okay. so like when i go and try to ch a