or has an axe to griped with law enforcement. >> reporter: the fbi i know what self other agencies has established a task force to work the case. they won't comment on whom at this point they believe could be responsible. meanwhile, until the case is solved, police officers here are protecting themselves while they investigate who is trying to kill them. cnn, hemet, california. >> that does it for us. "larry king live" starts right now. >> larry: tonight alleged shooter jesse james in rehab as his wife sandra bullock remains silent. he is in treatment for what? his infidelity. can it be cured? are some men and women making excuses for simply fooling around? it's all next on "larry king live."

good evening. we're joined by the west coast editor for people.com. and launch sanchez, correspondent for "extra." a representative of jesse james gave the following statement to cnn entertainment today. "jesse checked himself into a treatment facility to deal with issues. he realized that this time was krashl to help himself, help his family and help save his marriage." what do you know about this story? what do you know? we don't know why he checked in so we can't deal with that. >> what we know is jesse james two weeks ago was a dog that cheated on america's sweetheart and now apparently he is a dog that cheated on america's sweetheart wearing nazi clothes. like it has gone from bad to worse and it just keeps getting -- i can't even explain. and now extra has learned he is in rehab. we're all assuming it for sex rehab. and it is -- i feel bad for both

parties. this is a woman who just won the oscar and now she is in hiding. that's sad for her. that's sad for any woman. >> larry: would this have been a big story had she not won the oscar? >> sandra bullock is one of hollywood's biggest stars and she was involved in one of hollywood's most intriguing relationships. >> larry: she's just been seen with hill talking with red carpet. that adds to the story. >> it adds to the story. even before all this started, hollywood was fascinated by them themselves didn't know what america's sweetheart was doing with this motorcycle bad boy. and was this a relationship that was going to work? we're now seeing what the answer to that is. >> larry: who is jesse james? >> well, jesse james is a gi who builds motorcycles. he is a bad boy. he was married to a porn star. he is what he is. and he hasn't changed his stripes. no one is shocked, i think, that this has happened. everyone thought the best for sandra, they hoped that this wouldn't happen, but he is what he is. and now you know go necessary rehab i think trying to change himself. hopefully trying to get sandra's

love back. and this is a woman who, you know go we have learned as well that, scripts are flying to her right now. she is getting offered everything. and she's sandra bullock. >> larry: was jesse james a descendant of the famed jesse james? >> he is related. he is a descendant. what is interesting here is that despite all the bad news that we're hearing, despite the allegations of inif i hf infides still hoping to make this marriage work. he went into this facility on his own volition. it wasn't an order from her. he thinks this will be one of the solutions. >> do you know the facility? >> we are not report wherg it is and he hasn't so far said exactly what he is being treated for. >> larry: there is a presumption. >> exactly. >> larry: on the red carpet for the people's choices awards in january, sandra weigh in the or

elin. she said if i were elin, man, i would have hit a lot more than she did. i would have kept hitting. he she stopped. she was respectable. i would get a baseball bat. i would get he go out. what's your comment? >> i think she has gotten he go out. they're not really speaking. she is drawn the line in the sand and she is like saying, you know what? you've got to do what you've got to do. we're hearing rumblings that divorce attorneys are getting called. we haven't heard if either one has a divorce attorney themselves both have entertainment attorneys but divorce attorneys, no one knows yet. >> larry: they have no children, right? he has children. >> that's what makes it interesting. when sandra was talking on the red carpet, it was on the abstract. it was a sound bite. now that it's real nourg that she has three children to take into account. they're not her children. they're his children. >> larry: she's close to them though. >> very close. little sunny 6 years old. almost the only mother she knows day to day. that's what complicate this. sandra has choices and all are bad right now.

>> larry: jesse james was a competitor on the first season of celebrity apprentice. at one point, donald trump commented on the odd couple nature of jesse and sandra's relationship. look. >> he marries one of the most sought after women in the world which peel like us say, that's pretty cool. and yet he is such a low key guy. if you're with him, you say as he stiff. how did he marry sandra bullock? i saw her on television. she's totally in love with this guy. i can't believe it. >> larry: any comment on that, lauren? >> well, you know, you can laugh and giggle. >> larry: was he prophetic? >> this is a woman who i was saying, her career has never been better. as anyone knows who has been cheated on, trust me, i know -- >> larry: have you been cheated on? >> yeah. >> larry: you were? >> not through my husband, yes. as a woman yes, i've been cheated on. it's devastating. it doesn't matter what scripts are coming to her or how great her professional life is.

this is a woman in hiding in her home because someone broke her heart. that will be hard to get through. >> larry: with you she scheduled to do a film? >> the sad thing was this was going to be her hiatus. this was the time that she was going to spend with the children and with jesse. she had nothing on the front burner. she was going to be taking some time off and enjoying her family. >> larry: are they rereleasing old movies now? knowing the commercialism of the world? >> sandra bullock has never had a problem getting an audience. and she is one of the hottest agent rests in hollywood right now. >> larry: cnn has obtained a statement from jesse james's attorney. i would request that his rights be respected. i understand peel's desire in news note worthy stories. i would hope that it wasn't such a news worthy story such that his base ug rights and privacy aren't continuously invaded in an improper manner. does he not have a point?

>> not really. not when you marry one of the biggest movie stars in the world. >> larry: you don't have private civil. >> i'm sure he would love privacy but you can't just have privacy when you want it. this was a guy who went on the apprentice. they're talking with red carpet and now we're up to like mistress number five? it comes to a point where you're not going to get it. unfortunately. >> it isn't going away any time soon because so much is unresolved. is she going to stay with him? is there going to be a divorce battle brewing? there are a lot of unresolved questions. >> larry: thank you both. is sex addiction for real? is it being used as an excuse? how can you get back pain relief that lasts up to 16 hours? with thermacare® heat wraps. that's 8 hours while you wear it, plus an additional 8 hours of relief after you take it off! when i put it on the heat really releases all the muscles and the tension that i have in my lower back.

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tiger woods public confession to having had multiple affairs has inevitably provoked a discussion about sex addiction. we're joined by dr. pinsky. author of the matteror effect, how celebrity narcissism is seducing america. a terrific book. he is an addictionologist. never heard that term before. and robert weiss is founding director of the sexual recovery institute. dr. pinsky, my friend on espn radio this morning made a strong plea for the fact that there is no such thing as sexual addiction. one of his examples was derek jeter is single. he dates many, many well known pretty models and women. no one has ever called him a second addict because he ain't married. is there a -- are you a sex ad fikt you're married? >> you can be, of course. a way to think of it is, addiction is defined by consequences. and there are many alcoholics out there that are controlling their drinking. it still work for them.

they're able to prevent it from spiraling out of control and they think of their drinking as nor normative. >> larry: is it an addiction if you will you have with it? >> we would call it addictive traits. when things really spiral out of control is when people are trying to contain these behaviors and then the consequences mount. >> larry: robert weiss, when is sexual addiction sexual addiction? >> i think he had a good point. when you have to stop a behavior and you can't, or you don't know how. to >> larry: single, married, whatever. >> we work with men all the time who are unable to form relationships because they're so busy looking at porn and hook up in anonymous sexual situations. >> larry: if they can have a job, a successful life -- >> then they should enjoy themselves. people enjoy alcohol and then there are alcoholics. you don't want to be an alcoholic but you might want to be someone who enjoys alcohol. the sail thing with sex. >> larry: a thin line? >> it can be. when you deal with people who really have this, there is no debating it. tiger is a great example to me

of somebody who really has suffered a lot. he damaged his family, his career his children, a woman he loves. these were people he built a life around and with and he harmed them and he wanted to stop. >> larry: if he were single and the same golfer work we even be talking about it? >> we probably wouldn't. the sail thing with any addiction. when people come to see me in the hospital they don't walk in the door and say i decided to stop drinking. they may have been thinking about it for three years but they came in that day because they had a dui. they nearly died. their wife put them in or some other such consequence. >> larry: everyone asks this. what happens in treatment? >> treatment is about confronting people's denial. how could you think this wasn't going to happen? everybody come in a crisis like drew said will you were driving drunk. how could you do that? what were you thinking that you thought you would not get in trouble? >> larry: you were in treatment themselves take liquor away or they reduce it slightly. in druks addiction -- what do you do? >> we prefer abstinence. we prefer people are not sexual during the course of treatment because it interferes in the

process. we ask them to commit to that. we're looking at their denial, their grief, we're trying to help them figure out how to have a life that doesn't cause them the same kind of problem they've had. their being in treatment prefers more problems. we prefer to ask for abstinence which many men object to. some men think they will explode if they don't have sex. it is amazing to me. or die. >> larry: second rules them. >> they would consider the idea of doing without is it shattering to them. a way to think about it,le of these people with sex addiction have very, very poor boundaries. you first start by establishing boundaries around their body. how they dress. how they touch other people. how other people address and touch them. then you build from there. inevitably it ends up with very tense emotions. >> larry: are there some men had a are just naturally flirtacious, they come on with people but they're not addicts? they're just -- >> sure. are there people who drink or even get drunk occasionally and have a good time, it is a problem for them?

absolutely. are there people who drink and are alcoholics? >> larry: the thing is if it is a problem it is an addiction. >> it has the potential to be an addiction. >> larry: back with more. you're not a doctor, right? >> i'm rob. >> larry: and rob. do you have a problem, rob? i'll try to help you. we'll be right back. 009." the insurance institute for highway safety calls it a "2010 top safety pick." consumers digest has called it a "best buy" two years in a row. and with a 100,000 mile powertrain warranty... we call it peace of mind. chevy malibu. now qualified lessees get a low mileage lease on this 2010 malibu ls for around $199 a month. call for details. see your local chevy dealer.

>> larry: we're back with robert

weiss and dr. drew pinsky. tru that you had firsthand experience struggling with sexual addiction? >> i have a good understanding where that come from. i spent a number of years out there myself. i know what that's like. >> larry: how did you defeat it? >> a lot of therapy, a lot of 12 step treatments. >> larry: you went into it as a field. >> the problem is people who are in something for a field and had the problem can be very evangelist particular. they want to save everybody. that's not my job. i'll interested as a therapist to help people talk about it. >> larry: you mentioned during the break love addiction. there's a difference? >> oh, sure. most women, i wouldn't say most, they come in with a love addiction. a love avoidance cycle. >> larry: they want to be in love. >> but i think a psych people your viewers would be familiar with is women that go for the bad guy. >> i'm the bad guy.

they seem to pursue me. that is -- >> larry: some men like bad girls. >> absolutely. once somebody is actually available for closeness, then that feel uncomfortable and clingy and they don't like it so much. in sandra bullock's case she can missed a lot of red flags. she idealized him and that's the groundwork for set go up an addiction. >> larry: why are we so fascinated with this. >> we don't talk about the issues of sex. >> we talk about it everywhere. >> you speak about it a lot but we don't talk about these issues. >> larry: still a taboo thing? >> let's face it, not every woman has the ability to kick her husband out. a lot of women are in a lot of pain but they don't have the financial resources to say you're out. at least they can, through this situation like, this understand and feel like, yeah know i don't want to be treated like that. >> larry: why, drew, would some woman or man stay married to a sexual addict? >> great question. we do find that most addicts do stay with their significant other. i personally advocate for it. >> larry: do you.

>> i thought that tiger and his wife stayed together was an extremely positive thing for both of them. >> larry: why? why is it good for her? >> a certain kind of person that will be attracted to them. they have some stuff they need to work on, too. by the way, what we see, i'll sure rob sees it more than me, the couple can end up in a very rich place. very happy together. >> about 85% of the couple that come in with stepsive betrayal stay together any way. they have more going. on they have familiar lirg they have kids, they have money, they have relationships, they have church. a lot going on there. >> larry: we decide on many programs, we don't know why someone starts to become a drug addict. we know that they do but we don't know why will. >> i, do i think. it is a bid for emotional regulation. people are deeply unregulated. the emotions are too profound, too prolong asked too negativeful they tend to reach outside their body if they are genetically set up for this to work for them. our culture encourage that's. >> larry: what promise someone to be a sexual addict?

>> it is different for men than women. women to have real sexual abuse. someone touched them inappropriately. they used sex as a powerful i can stand on stage and be a dancer and i can feel like i have power over all these men. a strip club, for example. men to have to have more emotional vigsation. we tend to have more delicate egos. when our egos are not tended to well know we're not well taken to as children, we can look outside ourselves to get validation. >> larry: if you're married, is it also the drama of it? the cheat? >> you know, again, in my experience, peel getting aroused and sort of enticed by the drama, that tends to be more women in my experience. the intensity of it. >> the idea that i could be getting arrested, that amped up the high. sex addiction is not about sex. it is about the idea of second. that's important to say. if sex dwriks about sex,most of us could get it over in a couple minutes. bits the pursuit of sex.

the hundred, the chase, the possibilities, the arousal. not genital arousal but emotional arousal. that maybe that person will want me. >> the same thing with love addiction. love addicts are not interested in intensity of love. it is about powerful >> larry: we'll be back with more will we'll have two more guests. nothing will convince one of our guests that cheating is anything but men misbehaving. get ready. he is going to sound off. [ male announcer ] every business day, bank of america lends nearly $3 billion dollars to individuals, institutions, schools, organizations and businesses in every corner of the economy. ♪ america. growing stronger. every day. ♪ should we order panda blossom, panda moon... how about chinese at home with new wanchai ferry?

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>> larry: dr. drew pinsky and robert weiss remain. we're joined by steven a. smith, radio host, fox sports columnist, the "philadelphia inquirer." one of the better sports writers in america. and dr. laurie buckley. clinical psychologist and sex therapist. before steven smith will have his strong opinions, i'm sure, doctor, you are a sex therapist. is there sexual addiction? >> i say no. >> you say no. >> i say no. there is sexual compulsion. there are problems around sexuality. i don't think we're so far off in a lot of our beliefs but as far as the clinical diagnosis of addiction, no. >> larry: so you disagree with both robert weiss and dr. drew

pinsky. >> yes. >> larry: steven smith, is there sexual addiction? >> absolutely not. dr. drew knows how i feel about. this we've talk about it in the past. i think it is bogus. it is a perfect excuse to be used by men in this day and time because of something has ailed and plagued us since the beginning of time as far as i'll concerned. the influence of a woman on the male psyche, the male species as a whole. the fact is we covet what we see. we've always been that way. and any excuse outside of that is utterly ridiculous to me. >> larry: so you don't think tiger woods, let's say, has a problem. >> in no. i don't think he has a problem at all of i think his problem was trying to pretend as if he could commit to one woman and to be monogamous. the reality is that it is incredibly tough for him. as he billionaire athlete. like chris rock joked interesting comedian joked once upon a time, men are usually as faithful as their options. that's a real trifling thing to say. it is not very, very popular by the women by and large. and i respect that and i understand that. the fact is, it is work to be

monogamous. it is work to be faithful. it takes no effort at all for a man to step out and do otherwise. >> larry: doctor, is he right? >> i think that's true. it takes work to be monogamous. if you look at any measure of health, men are happier, healthier when they're in a sustained monogamous relationship. people in our culture and i love when steven talks he can hypnotizes me. keep talking, steven. i love it. >> larry: steven smith should always be on television. >> just talking. i go into a fugue state. i lose the capacity to defend myself, too. the fact is people lose track, and our culture particularly of something called intimacy. many of us have disorders. we don't know what intimacy is. we don't know how to control our closeness or proximity of other minds and that's where real health evolves. that's where physical health also develops as well. if you look at intimacy as the goal, thing like sexual

addiction, if you are going to call it that really get in the way. >> larry: is she wrong when she says it is not addiction? >> you can call it whatever you want. you can call it compulsion, addiction, a symptom of a larger 7th issues. the reality is there are men and women who acout sexually in certain ways and they seem unable to stop that behavior despite their consequences. and they need aer is form of treatment that follows. whatever you call it, i don't care. >> larry: does it concern you, dr. buckley, no matter what the transgressions, in a poll more people want tiger to win the masters than not. >> he is a great golfer themselves want to see him golf. >> larry: they don't want to see him get hit hard, lose badly, not make the cut. >> he has some problems. he needs to work on them. ies he needs to be accountable for his behavior. i think he does need help. i the cop-out of the addiction model and going in for, to rehab. >> larry: he never said he was an addict. >> but he did go into rehab. >> could i speak to that issue? the idea that going into

addiction extremity a cop-out really confuses me. it is not like it is a fun ride to be in treatment. we confront, we challenge, we are hard on your butt when you're in treatment. >> larry: steven, do you think it is a cop-out? i don't think there is any question it is a cop-out. here's the reason why. because they're measuring what they could potentially lose. that's the ultimate incentive. if tiger woods was faced with criticism and faced with being expelled from the public at large sxrg unwilling, or having the inability to ingratiate himself with the masses at large and he had to just deal with that and be done with it and go on and play golf and still be able to couples 38th wealth and the successes -- to couples 38th wealth, i don't think he could have been in the sex addiction clinic. the reality is -- >> you're kind of a cynic. ? i am. let me be very clear. i'll sorry. it is nice for you to notice that. i'm not denying that. my point to you -- >> hope for relationships?

hope for healing? >> listen to me. i'm not saying there is no hope. what i'm saying to you is this. i've known and i've covered professional sports forle years, and obviously i'm a man myself and i've been single forle years and i've gotten into my own situations. let me be clear. no hypocrisy lt. >> give me a call. >> i'm ngtable for my own actions and i have to suffer the consequences. if you're somebody like a tiger woods or others who go on quote/unquote a sex addiction clinic, what the public needs the see is somebody a bit could be try it. exhibiting a level of contrition. they're sorry for the pain they've caused so many people. in fact they weren't trying to cause pain, they were trying to get theirs themselves got caught, they got busted and they want ant explanation for the masses. >> larry: let me get a break. when we return we'll attempt to get steven smith to come forward a little more. who is most likely to be a sex ad snikt you know, the guys who always do a super job.

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>> larry: we're back. dr. pinsky, can we type the sexual addict? >> an easy sort of answer that is women that were sexually abused are very likely to be --

>> larry: men? >> men, sexual abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse. >> larry: a man sexually abuse ad as child. >> i'm not saying sexual abuse leads to necessarily sexual addiction. but it is a common heritage in those people that do develop it. >> larry: my guess is would it lead away from it. >> you would think the guy who is beaten wouldn't beat his kids but that's not how it works. >> experience that's are terrorizing in childhood become arousing and attractive in adulthood. >> larry: why do you think the public is rooting, more of the public is rooting for tiger woods than rooting against him despite the fact most peel would say this is despicable. >> it is kind of craze yirg isn't it? i think because he has been a hear over for so long. and i think he disappointed a lot of people but i think there is insome compassion and empathy and i think ultimately, we're selfish. we want to see him be entertaining to us. we want to see him do well. and maybe there's some good

stuff. >> larry: do you want him to win the masters? >> no question. i don't think he will. it is just pure rustiness. i don't expect hill to win. >> larry: why do you want him to win? >> because he is a greatest golfer in the world and everybody is entitled to make their mistakes. we are in america and this is the land of second chances. the reality is that although some of the details of what have transpired in his life repugna repugnant, who knows what is going on in anybody else's bedroom? it has been extreme, the kind of heat that's been thrown in his direct. he is still just a golfer. the greatest in the world. let's put this in perspective. >> larry: steven, what about those who say concerning anyone, the movie star, the golfer. it's none of our business. >> i agree with that. i don't believe the details, the salacious details in regard to his relationship with his wife or the prostitute, stripper, hooker, whatever you want to pick, i don't think those details are any of our business. i think it is worth getting into the psyche of an individual that

would apparently have so much to lose and would engage in some of the raunchy kind of behavior that he allegedly has engaged in. i don't think there is any question that there is some inquisitiveness that comes along with that. >> larry: why do we rick? >> we take risk. >> larry: risks. the tiger woods risk is monumental. >> that's about denial. >> larry: i'm not going to get caught. >> they're so in the arousal of the moment they just ignore what the consequences could be. it is not until it comes to bear. >> i think tiger said. that he said i felt entitled to be able to take what i wanted. he said that. >> larry: steven? >> i get that this is where dr. drew and i, we part like the red sea, for crying out loud. how about some people just acknowledging that there are some men out there, god for bid a man has to come on national television and say, this there are some men that are miserable at home. they're not happy at all. particularly with their second

life. >> they can get a divorce. >> of course, yeah. when you're worried about losing $300, $400 million, just half of what ever you've learned. if you're a basketball player, your wife never made a jump shot. if you're a football player, your wife never scored a point. your wife is on the verge of taking half because you're not happy with her any longer? that's a lot to rick. >> i really, really do not believe that tiger is unhappy with his wife. >> larry: how do you know? >> the way he speaks about her. i have some capacity and i think he deeply loves his wife and i think he wants to sl vag that relationship. and i believe he will. i think that's more important to him. >> men cheat. >> some men cheat. >> not all men cheat. but not all men who cheat are addicts. nor are they addicts at all. the fact that he is cheating doesn't put him in this addict category. he was a cheater. and it became a problem when he

got caught. >> i think this is an incredible point to make. i don't know his relationship with his wife. neither does dr. drew or anybody else. we can think what we want to think. in this day and time fg you're a public figure like tiger, and indeed you have engaged in the acts that he allegedly has engaged in, larry, could you really come on national tv or go in front of a national audience and say my wife just made me unhappy? could you be like mark sanford and say i found my soul mate while he was married and he was talking about somebody other than his wife. you have a lot to lose. it is not like people can openly admit. they can't openly admit in this female oriented oprahified society, they can't pull that off. >> larry: boy, she is terrible! >> i'm just saying you can't do it. it is career suicide to do that for a guy. i'm telling you. >> larry: someone once said, why are divorces so expensive? the answer is because they're worth it. is monogamy a thing of the past? we'll talk about that next. at sharp, our goal

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>> larry: we're back. robert weiss, monogamy history? >> i don't think. so >> larry: do we know what

percentage? >> more than 50% of the male population in the soouts monogamous. >> larry: how do we know that? >> we assume they're telling the truthful we do have a high level of monday go on aogamy in this . a lot of people don't cheat. i haven't talked to the guys in europe. >> caller: thank you for taking my call. >> larry: sure. >> caller: i was wondering, why is it when it is someone who has fame and money, it is an addiction. but if you're just an average joe, you're just a cheater. >> larry: is that true? >> it does seem to be that way, yeah. >> larry: the average joe can't afford -- >> exactly. and they don't necessarily need to do. that i think that it an attempt to make things right. they got caught. they want to make things good. in some ways it could be groming a good place flg i want to get some help. i want to do things differently in my life but i also think it is an excuse. i have a problem. i have an illness. >> go go to a 12-step meeting

and you will not see a budge of celebrities, you will see regular joes. when it come to very dill behaviors to change, it is hard to change people's bhai. 12 step does do that. >> larry: massachusetts, hello. >> caller: thank you. a big fan of the show. i have a question for dr. drew. dr. drew, do you think that jesse james would be a good fit for the next season of celebrity rehab? >> i don't know if he is using chemical or not. >> larry: we don't know what he is in for so we won't say. >> we're not sure where he went. >> larry: that's correct. >> anybody wants help, of course. i'm assuming that's a joke. >> would you like me to point out another problem with this monogamy thing you were talking about? >> larry: what is that? >> the fact of the matter is this. depending on what report you read, women outnumber men, ten, 12, 15-1 depending on whatever report you read. what i'm saying to you is this.

when you become a man, it is incredibly, a lot easier to stop chasing women. you just get to a point, you're tired with it. you're done with all that nonsense. you move. on very, very few men are trained and prepared to deal with women offering themselves on a silver matter. i'm a single guy. married men come up to me at least five times a week and laugh in my face and say to me, ha! you think you've got it now. wait until you get married. even more women are going to come chasing you after you get married because a lot of women out there want men who are spoken for, because those men at least, they know where they're going home to at night and they can't hold them accountable because they have somebody else to be accountable to. that's something we don't hear. >> larry: dr. buckley, do you agree women that like married men? >> there are some women that absolutely are drawn to married men. and of course, we can't forget the women that are drawn to celebrities. so there is a lot of opportunity out there. and so sometimes it is a little

more difficult to resist that opportunity. about that question you had about is monogamy a thing of the past, there are some people who can be monogamous. who thrive on it. some people who choose not to do it or don't do well with it. and it just depends on where you're at. you need to be clear with that. if you're someone that who have doesn't do well with monogamy urg probably shouldn't get married. -d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d

>> larry: what are the chances, we'll run around, of rehabbing a marriage? >> it is very high. marriages the. stay together do very well. >> reporter: what is the percentage? >> about 85% in second addiction. >> larry: we'll pick up with more. first the host of anderson 360. what's up tonight? >> tonight our series of special reports on the church of scientology continues with former insiders speaking out about violence they say they witnessed inside the church. the church is saying they were the violent ones. we investigate why the police were never called. also a teen suicide allegedly caused by bullying at her school. what did educators do to stop the bullying? it turns out almost nothing. what disciplinary action was

taken at the school against the nine students charged in question, the suicide? none. we're keeping them honest tonight. also members of the christian militia, the hutaree in court today. were they scheming to kill a police officer and then bomb his funeral or just a bumbling group of friends and family with a lot of big plans but almost no way to pull them off? we'll tell you tonight in crime and punishle. a lot more at the top of the hour. >> larry: amazing. ac 360 at 10:00. >> caller: i have a question for steven smitz. >> larry: go ahead. >> caller: when he says why do men get bored with their sex lives, my friend once wisely pointed out when a guy said that to us one time, whose fault is that? i mean, the implication is that the women bore the husbands. that's why they go to other women. but darn men! couldn't they be loog at as not

investigating and probing their own sex lives further and making them creative and fun? >> allow me to be very, very clear. if a man is not getting the job done, that's his problem. again we're talking about a man stepping out on his wife. the belief is that if you're not getting the job done at home, chances are you're not going to get the job done too many other places. the reality is that a lot of time, when women want to bring pup particular problem, what you're doing is pointing out the transgressions of a man. you have to ask yourself why that man is transgressing. if he were happy at home, perhaps that would not be the case. that's not to absolve them. you have a lot of trifling men with some serious problems. a lot of men far often than be are very, very happy. >> larry: we thank you -- dr. pin65 will remain. when we come back, two prominent divorce attorneys will join us for the legal implications.

>> larry: we're back. we're talking about marriage, sex addiction and now divorce. former divorce lawyer and author of "he had it coming, how to outsmart your husband and now divorce." among his high profile clients, many, britney spears ex-husband, kevin fetter line and dr. drew

pinsky is still with us. what percentage of divorces is infidelity paramount? >> many, many divorce, larry. it's unfortunate. it's paramount but unfortunately it does not get a lot of play because most states are no fault states. it really doesn't matter who broke up the marriage or for what reason. the judge isn't really going to do anything about infidelity when he's dividing up the assets unless one of the spouses cheats and spends all the money on the misindustries paying for vacation and for her wardrobe, then the aggrieved wife has a chance to get that money back. really, infidelity does not have much of a play, just affects the emotions of the parties. >> larry: except new york, right? >> new york is the strangest place. we're still a fault state and actually, people can make allegations of adultery to get out of a marriage. it's an archaic. nobody is doing that anymore in the divorcee rene na.

>> larry: mark, what's your experience with infidelity and divor divorce? >> this is a no fault state, it doesn't come into play. >> larry: we don't even list it. >> it comes into play if it's an issue with behavior and custody. other than that, it does not. it might be a factor to motivate the party to go on with divorce in other ways they may not but it's not a huge factor. >> larry: are celebrity divorces harder? >> they're harder because there's more issues to manage. you have to manage media because it will be something that's part of the career of one or both of the clients. they're harder that way. it's also harder in the sense you have people with a lot of power used to getting their own way. that's always something difficult to factor in, listening to you in a ways they may not feel right about but they really need to do what's right for the litigation, not for the revenge. >> larry: can infidelity cause one of the spouses to lose

custody? >> only the manner in which it's done, it's done in a way that subjects the children to some way that is not appropriate for them to be around the other person, something in that regard. >> larry: stacey, what's your opinion on a third party involved? the los angeles dodgers? >> when there's a third party involved in a marriage? >> larry: the dodgers are a maj maj major institution in baseball and the two people who own them, one says she owns them and he says he owns them and you take a third party into the courtroom. >> i can get a lot of leverage and evidence out of it. i've actually been involved in divorce cases where there were mistresses and i brought that mistress into a court and actually into and office, we had a deposition, i asked probing

questions to get evidence for a divorce case. it does give -- the fact there's a third party involved gives attorneys a lot of access to some very interesting information to use against the spouse in a divorce. >> larry: that's going on right now. dr. pinsky, neil simon wrote a great line once in the "odd couple," divorce must be popular, 50% do it. >> yet, as we sit here and talk about this topic tonight, infidelity ruins marriage. there's tremendous pain and consequences of these behaviors, the fact how we can argue whether or not monogamy is good or not, i don't understand. it equates with health and when you do things that diminish monogamy, you're parting it in harm's way by bringing other relationships in not nurturing it properly, it pays dividends and very painful and unhealthy when people do not realize it. >> larry: a great lawyer told me

he would never handle a divorce case again because the anger in a disputed divorce is greater than the victim sitting behind the murder suspect in a criminal trial, the anger in the parties. do you find that to be true? >> i think there's great anger. i think that people want to purge that anger by having some arena that's usually a court appearance. >> absolutely. >> usually, it turns to hate prior to the time turns to divorce. >> larry: why do you like it then? >> it's an equitibly driven arena. i like being able to argue fairness. i'm a trial lawyer. i think it's always great to be able to take your sense of fairness and take the underdog many times. >> larry: you can defend a man in the morning and woman in the afternoon? >> i can do it at the same time. >> larry: they have a similar case on either side, you can argue both sides. >> absolutely. you have to be careful the argument doesn't get used

against you in the afternoon. >> larry: stacey, ever represent men? >> all the time i represented men. there's no difference. i have a lot of strategies for women because i think they're on the short end of the stick, but not in hollywood, certainly. sandra bullock is the big bread winner in this marriage and jesse james will come out a very wealthy man from this. he has some of his own money. >> larry: he will get alimony. >> he will do really really well, alt's 50/50 split of the assets earned during the marriage, he may be entitled to alimony. in this situation, if he is a real man and has any kind of respect for sandra bullock, he should walk away with nothing. he should say, i destroyed this marriage, i destroyed you in the process, i will make it easy and not litigate and leave. >> larry: what would you bet on that? >> there might be a prenup and that could change other things and there may be a waiver of rights you wouldn't otherwise have. if he is a real man or just a human being, if he has the right

to receive alimony, he should get alimony or property -- >> larry: no matter what he did. >> no matter what he did, why it's a no fault state. >> larry: is divorce healthy? >> sure. >> larry: some people should get divorced. >> if there's overabuse, and not able to change. >> larry: does it sometimes better the children? >> certainly, it can. generally children perceive whole families and feel responsible. >> larry: they take the blame. >> they take the blame, even if they don't know it consciously. divorce has consequences on children for decades to follow. >> larry: why are we all fascinated it as public? >> because it's drama. healthy people aren't interesting. it's not about healthy people, about sick people acting sick. we're at a time in our country where our own nasrsyism is acted out in the press all the time and we love tearing people down and resurrecting them. >> larry: