i beg of you, put family, friends, with your council of dads and whatever adventures you take, i'll whisper in your ear, i'll be gently nudging you on your own, take trips, girls, take chances, take off. and every now and then take a walk for me. tonight, d-list diva kathy griffin. always outrageous. >> what do you think if i dumped levi johnston for eric menendez? >> larry: still outlandish. >> all right, fine. unleash the beaver army on me. >> larry: and forever outspoken about everything.

>> it blows. i'm not going to lie. it blows chunks. >> larry: 90-year-old mom is here too. what is it like to have her as a girl? >> you better lie through your teeth! >> larry: hang on. look out. >> i don't care anymore. yeah, go ahead, tweet me, palin freaks. >> larry: kathy griffin next on "larry king live." >> larry: kathy griffin is the emmy-winning star of "my life on the d list." and her latest bravo comedy special, "kathy griffin does the bible belt" debuted this week. her "new york times" best seller is out this week. she appears in vegas july 10th, season 6 of "my life on the d-list" debuts june 15th. let's take a sneak peek at that show.

>> hi, everybody! >> this season on "my life on the d list" -- >> i'm going to alaska to find love. i almost spank just the picture. >> i am pulling out all the stops. this season is a -- i'm doing stuff only a real d-lister can pull off. never been done on television. first public pap smear on tv. repeal don't ask, don't tell take it! oh, i have one thing. . attacks from -- cher. >> larry: kathy griffin. so what distinguishes season 6 from season 5? >> here is why. we are really kicking it up a notch, larry. okay. i'm doing something on my show that you have never done. >> larry: what's that? >> have you ever gotten, after 25 years of a distinguished career, have you ever gotten a

pap smear on this show? in your face, king! yeah, that's got to hurt. yeah, i talked to obama last week. >> larry: okay, no, no pap smear. >> thank you. >> larry: i've never worn a dress either on this show. >> what? you and lebron james didn't put on matching dresses. >> larry: okay. >> there is nothing i won't do is the point. >> larry: i get that. how long is this reality show going to go on? is it reality forever? >> until the day i die. until oprah kills me which i think i know is eminent. >> larry: why does she late you? >> you know why? because i see through her. i get her. i've lifted the mask off, and i see what is inside. you know what is inside. >> larry: what do you see? >> first of all, i think stedman is missing. i think stedman is missing. >> larry: there is no stedman. >> have you ever seen stedman? >> larry: yes, he has been on the show, sitting that seat. >> was he a person or a hologram? >> larry: i can't swear. >> exactly. >> larry: okay, i got it.

>> i also believe that ryan seacrest is out to get me. >> larry: why is he mad at you? >> because i make fun of her sometimes. >> larry: who did you say? her? >> yes. >> larry: you're funny. >> i'm starting right out the gate, lar. >> larry: you recently did an emmy roundtable of reality stars for the hollywood reporter. you said you think your show edits you to be nicer. explain. >> i mean, a lot of these reality folks come on talk shows and say if i was the villain or if i said something ridiculous, they edited that way. i think on my show they actually edit me very fairly, maybe too fairly. i'm not that nice. >> larry: you think they make you look nicer than you are? >> a little bit. just a hair. >> larry: can't you run your own show? >> no, i have no authority over it at all. >> larry: in the same boat. >> i'm not buying that at all. first of all, can i talk to -- is it camera one? >> larry: yeah. >> america and global audience you should know gary -- i just called you gary king. >> larry: it's okay.

>> do i lose an emmy for that? i take it back, gary. >> larry: emmy voters are watching. >> gary, don't interrupt me, gary. larry king just fired three people right before we started. >> larry: i did not! >> and it's made me nervous. and now have i something in any stomach. >> larry: griffin, do you want to hear something that will kill you, shock you? >> what? >> larry: i've been on the air 53 years. >> 25 at cnn. i have never fired a person in my life. domestic -- >> there are two men crying in the men's room. >> larry: i make them cry. >> all right, all right. >> larry: wait a minute, you recently took out this -- this is the ad of the year. >> you're not supposed to say that i took it out. >> larry: an emmy for your consideration. >> you're supposed to say the network took it out. >> larry: i'm sorry. >> but they didn't. >> larry: took out the ad in your underwear. is this your real body? >> it's my real body, but i am air brushed almost beyond recognition. which is what i prefer. so i did a photo shoot with mike ruiz, who is a great photographer.

and he was trying to have me channel betty paige. >> larry: do you think this is going to get you an emmy award? >> i would just like to buy one if i could. if you recall the pia zadora golden globe scandal, and i know i'm dating myself a little bit, if i could buy one i would. >> larry: what did she have to do with it? >> i think she had to give it back. those were the days when you could just buy one. now you have to earn it. >> larry: "kathy griffin does the bible belt" debuted this week on bravo. let's show an excerpt of this blockbuster. >> sure enough i'm doing a show from nashville and i get a call from a local police officer. miss griffin, i hear there is going to be a protest at your show tonight. oh, what time? so anyway, i get to the show, and i'm all excited about my protest. and the protest in nashville was two sweet little old ladies with a card table and some kind of sign saying something bad about me. and then here is the best part. they had baked cookies and were

handing them out. now, you know those gays turned on me and took that cookie. so fast, you know those gays were like you're right, i think she is awful. thank you! >> larry: you're funny. >> have you ever been protested? >> larry: yes. >> what? for what? >> larry: when i won a -- what was it? i won. >> you don't even remember your awards and accolades? you have so many that you really can't recall them? >> larry: i won a peabody in new york, we won two peabodys, one for radio, one for television. and the radio peabody had a guy protesting saying i'm unfair to listeners. >> because? >> larry: because i hung up on him once. >> once? he should be here today. you should see what happened in the commercial. >> larry: stop with that. >> i'm frightened for people. >> larry: what are you doing in the bible belt? >> exactly. fish out of water. that's the type of story it is. because when i play those markets, you know, i have -- >> larry: it was nashville?

>> it was knoxville. nashville is like chelsea in manhattan compared to knoxville. and i find that the audiences there are even more enthusiastic. so i said that's it. i'm doing my next special in the bible belt. i'm taking it on. and let me tell you something. the open-minded people and the people that like a laugh and the gay people made the drive. they made the drive. >> larry: kathy has some unusual fans. one of them by the way is a convicted killer. you'll see who that is, and what he did for her, next. >> that's a cliff-hanger. let's go. come on. hurry up.

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they've really outdone themselves with the casting this season of "dancing with the stars." of course, i missed my favorite contestant, kate gosselin, exactly, yes, come on. to me it was all about the night she did her dance to lady gaga's "paparazzi." so she comes out, and then they have two mock-ups of tabloids and was dancing like a freakin' linebacker.

>> larry: the irrepressible kathy griffin. like that? >> thank you, yes. >> larry: has some unusual fans. some even send her gifts. you brought an example with you. give us the back story. >> i hope you're ready for this. >> larry: it's a terrific painting. i saw it and liked it. it's a great likeness. >> i have this in my house. because when you first look at it you think oh, boy, she is one of those people that has a portrait of herself. but then take a closer look at the artist. >> larry: the artist is eric menendez. >> ring a bell, larry? >> larry: one of the menendez brothers. >> yes. >> larry: convicted for life in prison for killing his parents. >> well, you know, i don't know the details of the case. >> larry: they shot their parents. >> i would say -- well, i don't think the reloading helped. but i don't know if it's for life. you never know. >> larry: he may get out.

>> that's right. and he did a very nice portrait. >> larry: very nice. were you thrilled at this? >> of course. as a comedian, it's heaven for me. when i saw that painting come i thought okay, this is a nice painting. what the heck am i going to do with the painting of myself. that's weird. and then when i looked down and saw erik menendez, i thought this has to be framed. >> larry: that could be big money. >> what? >> larry: a famous convicted killer? >> what do you think if i dumped levi johnston for eric menendez. >> larry: big money. >> big money. and also maybe a step closer to an emmy? >> larry: maybe two steps. >> a peabody? >> larry: peabody is harder. >> if i marry erik menendez, will you have the two of us on your show together? >> larry: erik is married. >> the best part is lyle was married and they got divorced because he was cheating on her through correspondence. that's a rough gig when you marry a guy in prison for life. >> larry: and he cheats on you by mail. >> yes. >> larry: let's discuss some other things. >> okay. >> larry: in the next segment,

i'm going to discuss my 25th anniversary week. >> i didn't miss a minute. >> larry: i'm going to ask you questions i asked them. >> what? >> larry: that's next. hold it. lindsay lohan fascinates you. why? >> first of all, i need one of those ankle bracelets. so i don't know if you have any hookups or anybody in your beverly hills mafia. >> larry: do you drink? >> i don't drink. but i would start or i would do black tar heroin or crystal meth amphetamines, whatever it would take. i think if i could be photographed with one of those ankle bracelets, it could only help propel my career. >> larry: can't hurt. >> and make me more interesting. now my mother. >> larry: who will be on later. >> my mother is going to be on later, which makes me almost as nervous as your moods. >> larry: stop! >> quite dramatically, frankly. and i think that my mother enjoys the box of wine, which she'll deny. it's a little game we play. you'll see. but my dream is to get my mother on the next cast of celebrity rehab with tila tequila and have her wearing an ankle bracelet and monitoring her. >> larry: she is going to be 90. >> she is fine. >> larry: okay.

what do you make of the sandra bullock breakup? >> it's interesting because my comedian friends are going are you going to go for sandy bullock? to me that's not the comedy. the comedy isn't making fun of sandra bullock, the comedy is the mistress with the swastika tattoo whose middle name is bombshell, which i don't think is her baptismal name. i think she made that up. and the nazi hat. that's the comedy. >> larry: and he is not the comedy? >> oh, he's the comedy, with this business. and then when he goes on "nightline" and says maybe it was funny at a party. you know what? bad answer. maybe you should have been coached better by your attorneys. >> larry: what about justin bieber? why do we care? he is a nice kid. i met him one. >> are you a belieber? >> larry: am i a believer in bieber? >> yes. >> larry: name one hit song. >> girl you're looking fine today. all right, fine.

unleash the bieber army on me. but you know he has like a million -- i think he has more followers than you on twitter. >> larry: i would not be surprised. >> i'm sure. will you please follow me at kathy griffin? we do follow you. do you follow me? >> no, i'm too big. yeah. that's right. by the way, how similar is this moment to when you were in the white house talking to president obama and the gardeners were behind you on the ladder? that was a nice touch. did you notice that? >> larry: no, i didn't. >> i watch everything on this show. >> larry: i was concentrating on the president. new jersey, atlanta, what is the appeal of that show? >> i can't help it. i love reality shows. i love scripted shows as well. i love the reality shows because people will say and do anything. and i get caught up in the drama. like for example, who is your favorite person on "the hills." >> larry: the who? >> "the hills." do you feel that kristen this year is fake about her

relationship with brodie do you feel like she is really heartbroken? and what is it like for you to go online and see he is with avril lavigne and -- >> larry: you're discounting something. the inner feelings of brodie. you left that out. and you should feel a little -- i cried over brodie. >> i know. >> larry: and you didn't when you mentioned him. you just went right by him. >> like he was nothing. >> larry: he was my favorite person on the show. >> i know you have a bromance with him. >> larry: she'll be in vegas. >> come see me, lar. >> larry: we'll be right back with kathy griffin. ♪ ay, yay, yay, yay ♪ ay, yay, yay, yay ♪ ♪ ♪ baby, baby, baby, baby... uh-oh ♪ ♪

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so i'm thinking it can't get any better and sharon stone walks up. she is dressed up to the nines, the hair is slicked back, the makeup on. she is wearing a black sequin mini dress. she has the ridiculous body of death. and her face looks great. i don't know if she has been to the dentist. i know she absolutely hates me and here is why. whenever i make a joke at her expense, she always goes like this -- [ laughter ] isn't she great. >> larry: our guest is kathy griffin, the extraordinary kathy griffin. i really adore her, despite it looks like fighting and stuff and she kids a lot. before she went on, she told my crack crew who i was not mean to, she told my crack crew that she was upset that i didn't ask her questions like i asked during our anniversary week of the other guests. so i will ask you some of the

questions. >> because i watched every moment of it. i watch the show every night. and, you know, it's such distinguished company that if i'm trying to be on the a-list, i'd like to think that the next interview -- >> larry: this question. you wanted this asked of you. it makes no sense, but i'll ask. >> who did you ask? >> larry: lady gaga. >> who i love of course. >> larry: you were on "time" magazine's 100 list of the most influential people in the world. were you surprised at this? how can you answer that? you weren't on the cover. you wanted me to ask you that question. it's embarrassing to you. >> larry. >> larry: see what i mean? >> i was on the cover, and i was so proud to be on the cover of "time" magazine promoting "my life on the d-list" june 15th. and i feel that i influence people with my jokes about naughty parts. >> i see. thank you, lady. and now we go to bill gates. and this question was asked of bill gates. >> i can handle any question bill gates can handle. >> larry: what is it like knowing you changed the world? >> well, it's a thrill. it's a thrill for me knowing

when i started tinkering with computers when i was 4 years old i knew technology would change to the point where you're going to be able to walk into a room and a computer is going to say "hi larry". >> larry: you did watch the show. >> every minute of it. >> larry: by the way, what do you think of that walk into a room and a computer says hi? >> it frightens me. >> larry: me too. >> i don't want anyone to say hi or even make eye contact. >> larry: i don't want that world. >> no thank you. >> larry: now we go to president of the united states. >> there is no question that obama had that i can't handle. >> larry: okay. what are your plans for the oil spill? >> all right. i'm not a scientist. i never said i was. i would say that if you just started by stuffing the hole just with anderson cooper's t-shirts and shirts, it would take about two days. because every night it's a new prada shirt, and they're all very nicely tailored. >> larry: what do you make of that, the t-shirt for anderson cooper? >> first of all he is hot and gorgeous and has a perfect body that is shaped like a v. he is like a superhero. i don't know that he is real either.

i think he might be like stedman graham where we think he is real but he could be a hologram. >> larry: you like his hair? >> he is perfect. of course i do. >> larry: lebron james. the great basketball star. >> what does she do. baseball? here is what i asked of you. >> okay. >> larry: living in the projects, how did you stay out of gangs? >> well, i kept it reals. i found that if i found my homies, jesus, of course is my -- jesus is my homeboy. and after that i kept it reals with the peeps. and then i would -- i would hit -- i would start with my beat box and i would take it to the bridge. >> larry: gotcha. finally, the question i asked of the american idols. who would you most like to sing a duet with? >> well, naturally i would like to sing a duet with rosemary clooney, but she is dead. >> larry: let's skip to the next one. then who alive? >> i would like to sing a duet with celine dion.

in french. >> larry: who? >> celine dion. >> larry: oh, celine. >> and her husband. and her bebe. >> larry: she is going to have twins. what do you make of that? >> i can't even sleep nights, i'm so excited. >> larry: the fun couple, kathy and levi johnston still can't get enough of each other. an update on their relationship. you'll see it here next. ♪ this is onstar. i've received a signal you've been in a crash. i'll contact emergency services. high arches. (announcer) people everywhere are discovering what's going on with their feet. dr. scholl's custom fit orthotic center. backed by foot care scientists, its foot mapping technology identifies the areas you put pressure on then recommends the right orthotic. for locations see drscholls.com.

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new season of "life on the d list." actually, kathy shows up in alaska. let's take a look. >> by the state of alaska, you guys are married! >> go ahead, tiger. show me your moves. >> give it a little pop up. let it down. ♪ >> i could really get used to this. after spending the day ice fishing, i actually want to get knocked up. just out of sheer boredom. can we go to the mall? >> sounds good. >> holding levi close, feeling my heart beating against him, i realize this is where i'm meant to be, for three days. and then get me the [ bleep ] out of here. have you been to wasilla? >> larry: no. >> it blows. i'm not going to lie. it blows chunks, yeah.

it's not what we want the country to be like. when sarah palin said i would run the country, you know, you betcha', the way i run wasilla, that's not what we want. it's a lot of boredom and then some crystal meth. and go ahead. write your letters. i don't care anymore. tweet me about it. >> larry: what is your attraction to levi? >> i get him in a way bristol never did. and also every time i'm with levi and put him in the public eye, i feel it's my very subtle middle finger to sarah palin. go ahead, tweet me palin freaks. i've seen his johnston, have you? >> larry: no. >> it goes on and on, for days. >> larry: do you love him? >> yeah. >> larry: he is younger than you. >> like 30 years. not even that much. >> larry: could you be serious with him? >> that's right. i would be very serious in a committed monogamous relationship. >> larry: how is it going, then? >> well, now that i got a painting from erik menendez, i feel that i'm seeing other people.

i mean, i'm torn. it's like "the thorn birds," you know what i mean? it's like a forbidden love. >> larry: moving on. what do you think of mtv's "jersey shore"? snooki and jay wow wow. and the situation and those others. >> okay, you did not say "jay wow wow." it's jwoww. >> larry: i said it with two ws. >> you can't change it. >> larry: i can do anything i want. >> are you hammered right now? you heard me. are you drunk? you're not supposed to do this show while drunk. it's unprofessional. >> larry: i've never been drunk in my life. >> never? me neither! i've never had a drink in my life. >> larry: i've had a drink but never been drunk. don't like it. >> are you just high on our conversation? >> larry: yeah. >> me too. who needs it. >> larry: i'm on this show. >> what was your favorite episode? >> larry: i never saw it. >> you know what, larry, you got to play the game. you got to at least lie. >> larry: i won't lie what time is it on? >> it's on mtv.

they rerun it a million time. "the d-list" is on tuesdays on bravo. >> larry: what makes "jersey shore" special? >> snooki. >> larry: i know it's popular. >> the situation. the way the house at the jersey shore has a certain smell sand sheen from filth and too many one-nighters. the way they fight and make up. >> larry: do you think things are really that way on the jersey shore? because the jersey shore has some very nice places. >> it has some very nice places. but don't mess with me. i've played those markets many times. they can be rough. hey, you're funny, what's next. it's that kind of a crowd. it's like they love you and look at you like you better make me laugh or i'll kill you on the way out to the car. >> larry: you took your show to washington. >> yes. >> larry: what was that like for you? >> it was fantastic. i learned a lot about how things work on the hill. and i'm doing whatever i can to help repeal don't ask don't tell. i have many friends in the military after being to iraq and afghanistan and kuwait and those places. i met with majority whip jim clyburn.

i met with barney frank. it was very educational. i did get in a little trouble with a moron named michele bachmann. go ahead. act like i'm not your guest. you're having an out of body -- >> larry: michele bachmann is a very strong conservative person. >> oh, boy, i didn't know i was be kind to bachmann day, because my word is "idiot." i got into a couple little words with her. >> larry: tiff? >> a little tiff with michele bachmann. and i sort of got kicked out of my first senate hearing because i said something to saxby chambliss that she didn't like. and i didn't know the hearings weren't interactive. i thought they were more like a q&a situation. not so much. >> larry: well it is. >> but not for me. >> larry: you now throw fancy dinner parties. i've never been invited by the way. >> that's got to hurt. >> larry: you had a-listers at your house last weekend. jackie collins, suzanne somers, lily tomlin, chris bodie and sidney poitier.

>> in your face, king. that's got to hurt. that's got to be like a dagger in your heart. >> larry: i've had dinner with sidney many times. >> come on. >> larry: how did this come about, you, a d-lister, what are you doing with these people? >> it's a sham. it's a travesty, yet i was determined to make it happen. here is why. i'm friends with sue mangers. she used to be a big power agent and gives these incredible dinner parties. i thought i would try one there is a lot of people in what i call the beverly hills mafia, and they run this town. and one of them is suzanne somers and jackie collins who between them have so much money it's ridiculous. they might as well eat it for lunch and crap it out. it's an insane amount. so they are beholden to no one, which is why i admire them. they don't really need -- >> larry: anyone. >> no, they don't. >> larry: but they plug their books. they go everywhere. >> of course, it's fun. they love it. they have the tiger and the hunger like you and i do. they're friends with all these types of people i would never get to meet, so i invited them

to dinner and they actual ly came. came. guess who came to dinner? sidney poitier. >> larry: what did you serve? >> i had a caterer that cooked for sidney before so they knew what he wanted. they brought him his room temperature evian at the right time and a dairy cream of asparagus. so here is the worst part. suzanne e-mails and says what are you going to serve on. i realized i didn't have dishes or cloth napkins or cutlery that matches. so i had to rent it. so i rented dishes, knives and forks. i've never had a cloth napkin in my life. i'm all paper towels all the time. >> larry: did you do a routine at the dinner? >> no, i took credit for it. i got these at saks fifth avenue. they were a fortune. >> larry: was it a success? >> it was so fantastic. you know, those are people that fascinate me. i make fun of "the hills" but that's a group that has something to say. i was proud of it. lily tomlin was great. >> larry: you're going to meet -- >> oh, boy. >> larry: -- the woman who gave birth to kathy griffin. >> this can't be happening.

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>> larry: maggie griffin, kathy's mother joins us. she is a regular on "my life on the d-list" and author of the new book "tip it." let's take a look at maggie griffin highlights of the new season of "my life on the d-list." watch. >> you and i are judging a kiddie pageant. >> oh my god. >> i'm going to sing a song, and they'll forget my pottie mouth. ♪ i got to tell you, mom, i just don't give a [ bleep ] ♪ >> they took the bar away. kathy. >> let's say we're going to do sort of a wearable drinking blanket with arms. that sucked. look. you had two faces [ bleep ] or me. >> did you ever fake an orgasm? >> i don't tell things like that. >> cloris is kind of her naughty friend.

>> all right, maggie, what is it like to have her as a daughter? >> you better lie through your teeth. i mean -- >> well, you're always on your toes, larry. >> larry: been that way since she was kid? >> yes, but not as outrageous. i mean now she -- to me she is outrageous. >> would you stop acting like this is an interview with queen noor? she's taking this very seriously. usually there is a box of wine and she can barely stand on her toes. >> larry: this is one of the thrills of her life. let her have her moment. >> are you trying to fire me? >> larry: no, let her have her moment. >> larry, he is on one today. >> larry: how do you like all the attention you get due to your daughter? >> from gay people. >> oh, i get a lot of attention. and everybody is very, very nice. >> what about oprah? what if you met oprah, what would you do? you would throw me under the bus. >> i don't know what oprah would do. >> what if she hit you? >> i don't think she would do that. >> you sure? >> i think she is more controlled that than. >> he knows her.

>> would she hit me? >> larry: no, she wouldn't. we know kathy is very popular with gay fans. why do you think you are? >> i think i am because i've kind of come out for a lot of things. and they're all very nice to me. >> larry: you stand up for them. >> yeah, yeah, i really do. >> she went to an anti-prop 8 rally. she carried a sign. >> that was great. >> larry: support gay marriage? >> yes. yes. >> she is like the white angela davis. remember angela davis with the fro? she is like that. militant! >> but no, i really think -- i think the time is right. and things are happening for them. and i think it's wonderful. i think it should be. >> larry: what kind of mom was she growing up? >> i don't know who this is. because she is acting like this is a serious charlie rose moment. she is actually taking on the issues. first of all, she is drunk right now, larry. let's be honest. >> okay.

>> she has had a little box of wine to take the edge off. >> larry: where do you live, maggie? >> now i live in beverly hills. >> exactly, see? for all the complaining? exactly. >> larry: your successful daughter move you? >> oh yeah, yeah. >> larry: takes good care of you? >> yeah. >> larry: you a widow? >> yes, i am. my husband expired three years ago. very tough. >> larry: was he a good father, kathy? >> he was the best. he was very funny. they were on the show together. when people come up to me and say i feel like i knew your dad and i say you did. he was just like that. she is like that but this is a weird party face she is doing for your benefit. she is trying to act sober. it's like when the cops pull you over and have you do that test. can we have her blow into anything? >> larry: i told you i don't drink. >> i for her. >> larry: does your daughter ever embarrass you? >> occasionally she does. >> we rehearsed this. no, larry, she is a joy. >> i forgot that part. sorry, kath. i'll get to it. she has been in comedy for a

long time now. and at first i used to about die. and even my husband would a little bit. but now we're -- you know, it's in kind of one ear and out the other. although there are a few times. >> okay, that was great. next. i don't want to keep you, larry. >> larry: do you go to her concerts? >> oh, yeah, i go to all the shows. i always have. and people keep looking around at us like when she says something outrageous or against us or whatever. and we're sitting there clapping and laughing. >> larry: did it take a while to get used to her use of the language? >> yes, it did. it took a while. >> larry: did she curse as a kid? >> where do you think i learned it? i learned from the master, okay. >> that's not true. >> you can't even say it on the show. >> that's not true. >> like a sailor would blush. >> larry: where did you grow up? >> forest park, illinois. >> larry: oprah country. >> it's all oprah country. who are we kidding? it's oprah's world. >> larry: was she a good

student? >> she was a good student. she was great -- she was a good student. great kid, though. people almost don't believe that. >> that means bad student when she gets to the great kid. >> larry: she had good manners? >> very good manners, which the pain in the neck nuns? the nuns tried to torture me. they were evil. evil nuns. >> larry: did she listen to her parents? >> she was a good kid. i never had a problem with her. >> larry: aha. >> you know when i started to have problems with her? when she came out here and started to make it. that's when all this -- >> larry: in other words, before you made it -- >> a great kid. >> that's right. and hollywood turned me bad. >> larry: it wasn't your mother. it was this place. >> that's right. i'm not unlike the lohans. >> larry: maggie reveals something about kathy that only a mother would know, next. kath. a. know it all shared it with single and loving it! who made a cup the next morning for ladies man as he was rushing out the back door. he shared it with blondes have more fun and fiery redhead,

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>> kathy griffin, ladies and gentlemen. >> i have an amazingly hot bikini bod. it's not genetic, if you've seen my mother.

>> i saw kathy walk out on that stage. i was horrified. shamelessly showing her body, especially all over the place. i thought her body looked pretty good. but i won't mention that to her. >> i had decided that my mother's expression of horror is her way of smiling. and saying i couldn't be prouder. >> larry: kathy griffin's book is now in paperback. maggie griffin's book is just out. "tip it, the world according to maggie" tell us something about her they and we don't know. >> we didn't discuss this. >> larry: no. >> i honestly haven't discussed it. >> i have to put a stop to this right now. >> larry: stop. >> larry. >> larry: stop it. tell us something about you nobody knows. >> all right. i think one thing -- she is not going to like this probably. all right, i'll be careful. >> i'm watching you.

>> i don't think people know -- >> you could be in that state-run home. >> larry: let her finish. >> it's all over. i think people don't know that she is quite vulnerable. >> uggh! >> she puts on this tough front. >> okay. >> larry: she has an interior that can be hurt? >> she actually does. >> well, there goes my emmy. thanks, everybody. congratulations to you two. there goes my career. >> larry: there is a soft side? >> yes, there is. but she doesn't show it as often as i wish she would. >> larry: how did she do as a child when she started to date? >> she was great. i really have no -- >> don't act like i ever dated a guy that turned out to be gay. they all turned out to be gay. >> i'm what you call a gay-maker. i can turn anyone gay. >> larry: they meet you and then turn gay? that's impossible. >> well, i'm a gay-maker. a professional. it used to be a chicken and egg, which came first. but i think i actually make them gay. >> larry: by doing what? >> i think it's a little too much liza, a little too much

streisand, a little too much cher. eventually it gets to them. i practically made her a lesbian. >> larry: maggie, how did you come to write the book? >> well, what happened, i believe the company, hyperion books called. >> here is the deal. book? >> the company called. >> he drinks a lot of boxed wine and people like that about her and they find it relatable. so a publisher asked her would you like to write about boxed wine is? >> i drank a little before. >> stammering? hear what i'm saying. >> wine that comes in a box? >> yeah. we had had it at a friend's house in their backyard at a party. he is a fellow that has a really nice wine cellar, certainly better than ours. >> yawn. could you wrap this up. >> he says try this wine this box wine. he brought a big box to the party. he said try this wine, i think you will like it. for a big party it's great and

cheap. >> when you are hammered, not that anyone in this room would advise and you drop it, it doesn't break. >> and you finish it off to tip the box? >> in case it's going out and you think it's going important and then you say tip it. and then it became tip it for everythingful. >> you have to end your answers at some point. you really do. period. >> by the way, this is june. are you going with anyone other than levi? >> i am torn between levi and eric menendez. he is emotionally unavailable. >> and physically. >> but what about levi? you like levi? >> not really. >> we don't care. this is taking an eggly turn. >> what advise -- it is june.

>> a nice jr. college somewhere. maybe one i didn't complete my studies. my advice would be to take as much aderol as much as you can and sleep around with a condom. the volume is not an issue. go for it. go for 100 by your junior year. and pay attention to what you feel like paying attention to and you will be fine. >> are you a mother? >> i have dogs and i am a mother to my dogs. and i have a grown child. in a way. >> do you think she would be a good mother? >> i think she would. >> larry, if i have one egg leftly be missed. don't tell levi. i told him i am 26. >> how often do you see levi?

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and we have a couple of surprises. >> a stripper? >> oh my gosh. >> a lovely birthday cake. >> and it looks like a cougar. that's the cake. >> she's drunk. >> and a box. >> and a box of wine. >> and a box of wine. >> you broke the bank on this one, baby. what is this? is this -- please say it's a moo moo. >> i don't know what it is. surprise me. >> you tell me. >> it's cups? looks like a drinking party. you will have to force her. >> nobody will join me? >> i never tried boxed wine. >> there is a bunch of junk food and twinkies. >> she lived to be 9 years old on junk food and booze.

>> can you have twinkies and liquor? >> oh yeah. that's good. i haven't done this for a while. you are supposed to keep it here. >> you pour it on the side. >> oh. oh. >> it's like levi taking a pea. >> be careful kathy. >> here you go. here's yours. >> celebrate the birthday. first ever boxed wine. >> just a little, honey. >> remember when you and obama had that box of wine? it's just like that. >> i don't have any. no. here, here, here. >> am i afraid of this? >> i don't want to start. i don't think it's a good idea. >> that's a new thing. you say let's tip it. >> i do the show and you drink. >> let's tip it. >> honestly?

>> here's kathy's book. >> typical. >> this is great. >> not too bad, larry. it's good. >> what did you think of lady gaga. >> that's a nice way to change it. >> it is good. >> this tastes like a combination of a warm wine with a touch of beer. >> i never got the beer part of it. >> well you got plenty. >> let's sing happy birthday to her. ♪ happy birthday to you ♪ happy birthday to you ♪ happy birthday dear mom ♪ happy birthday to you >> what kind of cake is this? marble cake with chocolate chip filling. >> and butter c