thanks for joining us. "larry king" starts right now. -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com >> larry: tonight, elizabeth edwards, a prime-time exclusive. >> i think it's important for me to understand i didn't do anything wrong. >> the baby he fathered with his mistress. >> i have seen the child actually. >> larry: what the scandal did to her. and how she feels right now about the man who betrayed her. you love john? the resilient elizabeth edwards is next on "larry king live." >> larry: it's a great pleasure to welcome back to "larry king live" one of my favorite people, elizabeth edwards, the author of

the number one "new york times" best-seller "resilience, reflections on the burdens and gifts of facing life's adversities." it's now out in paper back. with a very candid and compelling new afterword. she is a senior fellow working on health care issues. it's always good to see her. you look so good. how are you feeling? >> i feel great actually. you know, i'm always going to have some sort of treatment. i'm on chemotherapy now. had chemotherapy this morning, matter of fact, in north carolina. sometimes the treatment gets you down. but the disease is not getting me down. >> larry: what does the chemo do? you're in stage 4, right? >> i'm stage 4. the chemo i'm taking right now has a lot of effect on my blood. so i'm not supposed to cut my cuticles or floss or do things that might introduce infection. and sometimes i'm breathless. so i'm planning a trip with the children. i've got to make sure i have someone to help me. you know, because probably,

times, i'm not going to be able to move luggage for two children and me. little things you have to plan ahead for. >> larry: we're not going to get into the specifics of your disease. having had friends take it, i've had a couple friends who didn't like it so much they gave up. >> i have heard that happening. a great example, melissa etheridge, we had breast cancer about the same time, and she was doing chemotherapy. it has a lot of effect on your fingers and your hands. because she uses her hands in her trade. she found it to be a real problem for her. she hasn't had any bad results from that, which i'm really delighted. makes me nervous. >> larry: this sounds weird, but do the doctors tell you why you're still here? >> no, and they don't tell me when they expect me to go. what i understand is it's not going to be -- if i'm feeling good, that's a good sign. because you don't like all a sudden fall off a cliff. it's a slow decline as the disease progresses. >> larry: pain? >> probably. but you know, i try really not

to focus on what the end is going to look like. >> larry: you don't? >> the more time i spend doing that, you know, the less time i'm enjoying the days i have now. >> larry: all right. how do you not think about it? >> um there are times when you do. i don't really think about it when i'm getting chemotherapy. the people who take care of me are wonderful, you know, terrific people. who gives me my infusions, bring me his high school yearbook. i've got to bring it again next week. but, you know, they become friends of yours. when you go to visit them, it doesn't seem -- when you go to have scan, when you go to find out if the disease is progressing, those are the times when it's really hard not to let it get into your head. >> larry: is "resilience" something you learn you have when misfortune occurs? >> i think that's probably true of a lot of people, you know, who -- >> larry: how do we know how

we'll handle something until we have to handle it? >> you don't. you know? i think most people -- i don't think i'm special in any way. i think most people do pull themselves together do what it is that needs to be done. sometimes you're thrown for a loom for a little while. and then you start to reclaim. i think it's that getting back on the right path, that's the hard part. you know, you can't let yourself go down the chasm. >> larry: was the worst when they first told you? >> the worst -- >> larry: mentally? >> mentally, the worst, was when i very first heard. i just didn't know what to expect. i didn't know whether the information -- how bad the information i was getting was. how bad is it? not how bad the information is, but how bad the cancer is. i had a great oncologist, lisa kerry who was telling me, you know if you see a bone scan andup don't -- the lights don't look like a christmas tree or like larry king's backdrop, then you're in good shape, you know. that means you've got contained location. it's when it starts being really bright that you -- and so she

gave me some landmarks to -- but, still, it was scary. >> larry: the hard cover was a major best-seller. >> it was, very successful. >> larry: because of events, did you almost have to write an afterword? >> it was going to come back in paper back. if it came back in paperback, when i wrote the paperback, john, my husband and i were, were still together. when the paperback came out, we had separated. >> larry: publicly expect to read about it. >> if the book ended with our being together, then it wasn't -- it would be weird. it wouldn't be an accurate book. that's actually why i included a lot of the stuff in it. i didn't want it to be sensational. but i wanted it to be accurate. >> larry: but you also took out some things. >> yep. >> larry: why? >> well, in the paperback, i don't think i took out -- >> larry: well, no, some things from the original. >> right. there were things that i had that, you know, sort of were bothering me about the way the story was getting told.

and, you know, so i sort of felt like i needed to answer them. i also want to move on in my life. so i don't want to answer them. i don't want to get into a shouting -- you know, the last person on "larry king" gets to tell the story, you know, of the way it is. i don't want that. i want to move on. so some things -- >> larry: you should be heard, though, you don't want to leave things. >> there are some things that are important to me, you know. and i've said them and i think finally they're sort of in the popular culture or, you know, to the extent that any of this is. but there's some understanding about what i knew and when inknew it that i was not complicit in any of this. and that's important to me. i want people to see me as a moral person who tries to make the right decision when the time comes. so that was important to me. but aside from that, honestly, i think it's, you know, the rest of how people feel about me is probably how i live the rest of my life. not necessarily, you know what was said or not said. >> larry: you're legally separated, right?

>> we have a separation agreement. >> larry: are you going to get divorced or does that matter? >> it matters and doesn't, you know. i mean, i think it's one of those things, you need to have all your arrangements in the right way, particularly with children. but, you know, when the time comes -- i don't imagine any of us have on our calendar -- either of us have on our calendar this is the day in which we can -- because that part -- we've got an amicable way of dealing with the kids and dealing with one another that is, you know, is really -- been quite satisfactory. and -- >> larry: you're the pained one so it has to be satisfactory to you. >> there's enough pain in my family to go around, everybody. >> larry: so we have it right and the audience understand, nowhere in "resilience" do you name the woman with whom you had an affair and a daughter. you've asked us out of consideration not to use the name either. we will respect that. >> thank you.

>> larry: and we will be right back. ♪ well, look who's here. it's ellen. hey, mayor white. how you doing? great. come on in. would you like to see our new police department? yeah, all right. this way. and here it is. completely networked. so, anything happening, suz? she's all good. oh, my gosh. is that my car? [ whirring ] [ female announcer ] the new community. see it. live it. share it. on the human network. cisco.

>> larry: we're back with elizabeth edwards. "resilien "resilience," terrific book, with a new afterword, now out in paperback. you have had to deal, in your life, with loss. the loss of a husband. nothing compares in loss to the death of a child though, right? >> nothing compares.

>> larry: distant second. >> right. in some ways, that helps you keep some balance, you know, about how important whatever pain you're going through now is. it really does give you some perspective on it. doesn't mean it hurts less. but it does -- you know, you say if i had to choose between one of these, what would i choose, this is a no brainer. >> larry: we're honoring the name thing and i understand it. is it that you have difficulty with it? >> no, what it is, this is my story, and if people want to talk about that part of the story, they're not talking about the book. if you were talking about the book and -- >> larry: the book is about "resilience." >> the book is about what i went through. when wade died or when the cancer came or when the cancer came back or when i found out that my marriage was not, you know, all i believed and hoped that it was. what did i do. not what did anybody else do, but what did i do. and so if somebody wants to talk about that, they're clearly -- it's more sensational kind of

thing. and so it's not what the book is about. i hope that i'm promoting the book. >> larry: have you ever spoken to any of the other parties involved? like to the woman? >> no. i've only been in the same place she has once. and that was before i knew anything. we just really -- it was just passing in a hallway. >> larry: you've not seen the child or anything? >> i have seen the child actually. >> larry: you have? what occasion? >> when john and i were together, and he was, you know, wanted to be a father, which i admired, that he should -- when he found out that, in fact, this was his child, he wanted to be a father, and if that were the case and we were together, i would be this child's stepmother. and so it was important. we went down -- >> larry: right. >> i know. we went down to charlotte. and a third party picked up quinn and brought her to where we were. and i let -- john spent some time alone with her. it was before christmas.

we brought christmas presents and dresses and little things. >> larry: was it strange for you? awkward? >> no, it was not awkward in the least. she kididn't know who i was. that was something she was going to learn over time. unlike john, she didn't have a name -- there was not going to be a name that she then associated with me. but i love children and, you know, sitting there playing with toys with her, she seemed like a really nice child, and -- >> larry: what did you think -- >> i look forward to having a relationship with her at that time. >> larry: you do? >> i did. >> larry: now? >> now there's really no reason for me to. >> larry: did you read or what did you make of the interview that she did with "gq"? >> i -- really, i read a portion of it that my sister forwarded to me, but i didn't read the whole thing. my sister gets incensed and will send me something that makes her mad. >> larry: let's clear something up. she said your relationship was dysfunctional, toxic, way before she came along.

>> if that were true, why would john and i have worked so hard under such difficult and public circumstances to make the relationship work? we really -- we both -- i mean, i really think we both worked hard in the end to make it work. i did not think -- i mean, and i suppose there are a lot of women in her position who like to justify their behavior -- >> larry: rationalize. >> right, rationalize it. by thinking this relationship in which they're thrusting themselves wasn't valuable to begin with. it was clearly valuable to both of us. and something that we tried very hard to save. >> larry: how did you deal with the pain -- you've had to deal with major pains. you have cancer. your child is dead. >> yes. >> larry: how did you deal with the pain of the discovery of what he did? >> what was hard about this, and this is where i had to -- i had -- this is part of the -- >> larry: resilience. >> part of the resilience thing you have to deal with is, it's really hard not to attach it to yourself. not to say "what did i do wrong?" and then go back. but i understand from reading is

it very often has nothing to do with the relationship that a spouse can love their husband or their wife very dearly, and that doesn't mean that there's not something, some place that -- you know, nobody is 100% match of everything that you need. there isn't some place where you have a need and there's somebody who comes along at that time and is able to fill it. and that doesn't mean that there was an unsatisfactory relationship or that i had done something wrong. >> larry: you don't look in the mirror and say "what did i do wrong?" >> no. do i do it occasionally? of course i do. i think it's important to understand i didn't do anything wrong. important also for my children to understand that what -- the mother they saw, the wife they saw, you know, tried to support her husband in his quest and his dreams. i'm still, you know, printing

out google -- instructions -- directions for him to get -- he took jack to sports camp. i'm still printing out the directions. you know? because this is the kind of supportive thing you do, you know, for somebody you're living with and care about and you have sort of the -- i feel like, you know, we had a symbiotic way of dealing with one another. he did things for me. >> larry: that doesn't go away. >> the hardest part, i think, was feeling like somebody who had been -- had been the person i had leaned on when i needed somebody, when wade had died, when the cancer came. i think it's probably been hard for him, too, to see himself in this new light, as not the person on whom i feel i can lean. >> larry: he disappointed a lot of people. >> disappointed a lot of people. i think that probably includes himself. >> larry: also in "gq." we should clear up. her claim that the account you wrote in "resilience" about how you found out about the affair is factually incorrect. >> i, i -- >> larry: how would she know how you found out?

>> right. i -- i -- there's nothing in "resilience" that's incorrect. >> larry: how you found out is how you found out. >> how i found out is how i found out. >> larry: the cell phone thing. >> right. i found out from the cell phone. i don't know if what she said is different. in any event, it doesn't matter. i'm -- >> larry: yeah. >> i really believe it's important to be honest. but, you know, that's what these books are about. >> larry: do you deal with trust now in john? >> you know, it's still -- it is still hard. you know. but i don't have the same need to trust him at the same level. i mean, he has his own life now, which he's entitled to. and it has boundaries. and i don't have to know, you know, in the same way that i wife knows. >> larry: we'll be right back. the book is terrific. the afterword, lots more to talk about, other than this. elizabeth edwards, reflections on the burdens and gifts of facing life adversities. the book is "resilience. "we'll be right back. (announcer) feeling back pain?

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>> larry: we're back with elizabeth edwards. the book is "resilience." photos accompanying that "gq" article caused a lot of fuss. "people" magazine quoted a friend of yours saying you were disgusted by the pictures. is that a correct quote? >> i don't know if i actually used that word. somebody may have -- i did see the pictures. think it's really important when you're a mother to convey that that's the role you value and i think she just had probably too many ts to cross. she wanted to be viewed as sexy and everything else. at some point, you can be sexy, but that can't be your goal. >> larry: were you jealous? >> oh, no. no. i'm 60. i'll be 60 -- 61 in the beginning of july. i quit being jealous of younger women. >> larry: watch her on oprah? >> i did.

i taped it and watched it later. >> larry: was that hard? >> no, it wasn't hard. >> larry: really? >> no. >> larry: you have a lot of resilien resilience. >> i ought to write a book like that. >> larry: it wasn't hard to watch? >> no. >> larry: all right, let's get to what we have to get to. in which a lot of people were shocked. and that's the book "game change." >> yep. >> larry: the best-seller written by john holland and mark halperin, two respected reporters, and is very critical of you with quotes from staff and others. did you read the book? >> i did not read the book. >> larry: you must know about this -- >> i do know about it. there are some things that actually -- that did happen. in this book. time when i was in a lot of pain. the various staff members are actually probably limited to maybe two staff members. to say in the, you know, after the campaign, the people who worked close west me started a google group, i heart elizabeth. these people are not mad at me.

they're still great friends of mine. there were some people who were disgruntled about one thing or another. doesn't surprise me. the people who i was closest i still am close. the people who i was disappointed in their performance i think had a lot of opportunities. very disappointed. i do know mark halperin. i'm very disappointed they made no effort to contact me. >> larry: never tried to call you? >> no. it's not that hard to reach me. >> larry: no. >> and they made no effort. it would have been nice if they had. not because -- some of the things are not true. that i understand are in there. but some of the things -- >> larry: well, they make you almost like a devil. >> yeah. and, um, they're just, you know -- were there times on the road when it was tense with john? yes. did i ever say john doesn't -- you know, i read books, john doesn't, for example? john reads ten times the number of books i do. i mean, i would never have said that. if i ever called him a hick, it

was because he liked to be called a hick, you know? oh, you're such a hick, you know, you're such a country boy. i don't know -- "hick's" not really a word i'd use. >> larry: does it bother you -- or when you have stage 4 cancer, does nothing bother you? >> no, it bothered me. i wrote this in the last chapter. i wish i didn't care what people thought of me. when people say things about me that are not true or that could be -- if you explained the circumstances, they might have a different perspective. then it hurt mess that people might read that and believe it. >> larry: how angry were you at andrew young for writing that book "the politician," he was john's aide, the guy who was supposed to pretend he was the father -- did you read that book? >> i did not read that book. >> larry: he made a lot of appearances. not here. >> he did make a lot of appearances. i certainly would see things. that book -- this is not just my perspective but from -- that book is absolutely -- the thing is, he had a story to tell, but

in that story, he wasn't a hero. in that story. in the real story. so he wrote a story where he got to be the hero, which meant demonizing everybody else. i banned andrew young from my house in february of 2007 before i knew any of this because he lied so often. i just could not believe anything he said. told him if he came back on my property, i'd have him arrested. i can't have you around me. >> larry: really? do you think he had it in for you? >> yes. and as i -- and i had someone contact his -- his publisher and tell them that, that the stories that he was promoting, when he was trying to sell the book, that those stories about me were not true, and that they needed to be careful, because, you know, i thought he bore a lot of malice towards me. >> larry: did you threaten alienation of affection? >> i did ask -- i did ask him, you know, sort of a fairness -- one of the things that, after wade died, john and i did is we

started the wade edwards foundati foundation. it provides computer labs for kids who don't have access to these kinds of facilities. they don't have a computer at home or they don't -- can't get a ride to a library. so aefrmt school, they can go straight over in the activity bus and do their work on computers and print out their term papers, just like the kids who have computer s at home and then take the activity buses home. and it works great. i thought it's a matter of fairness that he ought to contribute some of what -- you know, actually fairly small, considering what he's undoubtedly made on this book -- >> larry: did he? >> no. he did not. >> larry: we'll be back with more. more. we're going book. so will elizabeth. the book is "resilience" now in paper bookback with a new afterword. create a plan to pay off large purchases... and save money on interest. does your credit card have blueprint? design your plan at 866 blueprint. [ laughter ]

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>> larry: we're back with elizabeth edwards. i don't mean to be fussy, but they say we weren't clear on how you learned. apparently she says it was by cell phone. you said he told you. i think when i asked you, it was not clear how you -- >> not clear. >> larry: yeah. >> i had sort of a tip and john -- i went to john and said, did he have something he wanted to tell me about. >> larry: the tip was from a cell phone -- >> the tip was from a cell phone. >> larry: so they're both correct. >> i've not read hers so i don't know what she says. that's why i said -- >> larry: i got it. >> yep. >> larry: all right. you still supported him after you knew about the cheating. >> i knew -- >> larry: in the run for the presidency. >> i knew about one incident. understand, the whole time he ran for office, i knew that he had had one liaison.

it still tore me up. i mean personally tore me up. did i think one liaison would disqualify him to be the president, you know. we've had great presidents who i would hope one liaison would not have stopped from serving us. that's what i believed. and i believed that until -- golly, maybe long after it made any sense to. certainly long after he was out of the race. and so sometimes i had to, you know, bite my tongue. i talked a lot about his policies. which i still believe were the best policies and set the standard for the other candidates on a lot of -- on a lot of issues, health care being one of them, but environment and poverty. and corporate interference with government. and i really believed that i could talk about those things. and mean every word that i was saying. and have him as an advocate for those issues. and mean that as well. >> larry: while we talk about some issues, i want to read one

segment from the book. here's what i'm going to read. i never asked to be a pick figure. when john ran for the senate, i attended exactly three campaign events. but it happened. and the warnings that you have no prive sill did not scare me. what did i have to hide, foolish me thought then. i had lived my life on military bases with someone watching all the time. the door of my house in raleigh was always open. the warning i did get was that my story could be public. the warning i did not get about being in the public eye is that anyone who wants to could write my story. and they'll be some people who will believe it. >> yep. >> larry: is that the age we live in? >> i'm afraid that's the age we live in. there are outrageous things published all the time about all sortses of people. and there's a group of -- there's a group of people who are going to believe them. a group of people who are going to believe them. and there's nothing -- you know, you can't go around refuting every story. sometimes you just have to let it go and figure that your conduct from here on out will

prove that it was true or untrue. >> larry: you were in the tabloids almost all the time, right? >> yep. >> larry: the last time, you were dead. >> i know, and i was -- that's right. i was dying within six months. i think that six months might have come and gone. or i was grooming my daughter to raise my children. my 28-year-old daughter, kate. who has long been in our wills, if both of us die, you know, i want her to raise my children. but they need to have a positive relationship with their father. and i actually responded to that one because i thought that was counterproductive to what i was hoping they would have. >> larry: read another two portions as we go on. let's move to other areas. what do you make of obama? >> um, i think that there have been very few presidents faced with as many different fronts to try to deal with at one time. very pleased that he put health care on the front -- on the front burner.

i think that it -- american people's lives, it turns out to be -- very unhappy that it happened at the same time we had the mortgage crisis and financial meltdown. because it meant that people didn't -- they were in economic chaos and weren't entirely certain why that was. you know, truth is, half of the foreclosures in this country take place because of medical cost. not just that they've got subprime mortgages or other mortgages where they're under water. he said a lot to deal with at one time. would i do it if i were getting to make the same choice, would i do it exactly the same way? i wouldn't. >> larry: i had lunch today with a crisis expert who says he see his problem as hesitancy. that he's not -- like he should have grabbed bp by the throat. >> right, to begin with. >> larry: first day. >> right. and -- and -- in his interview with matt lauer, he had said, you know, i was paying attention to this when the talking heads weren't. i thought, the talking heads -- this is a really tasty story.

the talks heads were talking about this from the very beginning. >> larry: you think he's a little weak in -- >> no, i think he is contemplative. which is in most -- maybe in most times, that's exactly what you want in a president. sometimes, though, you need to -- you need to be sort of a man of action. i think -- shows from -- when he was trying, when he was having "i'm rough on bp" speech, it was clearly -- that was not his comfort zone. >> larry: well, he told me in an interview he was angry. >> i'm sure he is. but he's angry, you know. angry. >> larry: we'll have more with the candid elizabeth edwards. ♪ people say i'm forgetful. maybe that's why we go to so many memorable places.

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edwards. before i have you read one passage from the book, cnn opinion research poll from late last month shows the majority, 56%, still disapprove of the health care bill. what do you make of that? >> i think people don't -- they haven't yet seen benefits coming to them. and when they see the benefits coming to them, i think the number will go up. i think that there was some things we needed to do that we didn't do. we did not create real

competition for these insurance companies. so we're still seeing -- we're still seeing them up their premium to individuals and to businesses. and that's going to, you know, create a problem in the -- certainly in the short term, before these -- before we start having these exchanges, where people who are out of the market for one reason or another are able to get in at a better rate. until then, i think -- >> larry: it's a process, right? yeah. >> it's a process. i think there were people who were dissatisfied with social security when it started too. >> larry: we'll have you read two, but do one now. >> okay. i wrote in this book, meaning earlier in the first chapters of the book, about seeing your situation for what it is and taking action. but i had not acted myself. maybe it was that 38-year investment i had in my marriage. maybe it was that i could not separate the flawed man before me from the boy with whom i fell in love in 1975. it does not matter now.

but finally at the end of 2009, i realized i could not simply wish us to some final days. i decided i did not want to be that person hoping for a day that may never come. that sad bitter unhappy person. finally, i've taken the steps i need to take to never be that person. it's one of the things i left behind when i closed that door behind john. >> larry: was this hard to write? >> it was hard to write. it was hard to write it with the right tone. that sad bitter unhappy person wasn't that far behind me. but i really was more hopeful. and i wanted the book, though -- some people have criticized the book saying how could you write about some of these things with your children out there. like my children wheere living somehow with their heads in the sand and didn't know anything about it. and not see it with just the pain they saw, they knew was there. but also to see it with some degree of hopefulness. both in the original version and

then in the new version with the new life. i wanted them to see it in a he hopeful way. that i wasn't looking back on everything and saying woe is me, what a victim i am, that my fate is my responsibility. i have to take hold of and make the choices that are right for me. i made a lot of choices i thought were right for my childrenpy don't think they turned out to be. i thought they were at the time. so i made choices that are right for me. and i think turned out, then, also to be right for the children because they have a happier, you know, less bitter sane mother, who's able to get through a day. >> larry: how do they feel about their father? >> you know, emma claire at softback ball practice with her dad. you know, they are proud of their dad. jack called on his way up to sports camp. his father drove him to sports camp. and said we stopped at an applebees and everybody wanted to have their picture taken with dad. you can see he acted like he was embarrassed but he was also proud too. particularly -- he was driving

through western virginia, not west virginia, but western virginia, where there's a lot of poverty. those people say, okay, he messed up, but this guy was -- he was caring about us. you know. and so i think they give him a little more leeway than -- >> larry: do the kids -- have the kids met their stepsister? >> no, no. they'll come a time when they have. but quinn -- i think will be coming up on 2 1/2. i think that when she starts creating more memories and when john has a better -- a more long-standing relationship with her and she can come visit him, i think that will happen. >> larry: you write in your afterword, quote, right now, i want to live for eight more years, to finish the one job i know i did better than any other. that job is raising your kids. >> yes. >> larry: what if you don't get the eight years? >> i'll be sad for me and sad for them.

i'd like to -- you know, i'd like to be -- i'd like for them to see me seeing them off into their new life. one of the things about wade having died when he was 16, eight years -- jack was 18. but when wade was 16, i could see the young man he was going to be. if i had died when he was 16, he would know i saw the young man he was going to be. i think that would give him some satisfaction. our relationship had changed a little bit as he had aged to that point. i'd like to get to that point with my older children too. so they -- as adults, they would see me as still, you know, a presence in their life, and not in that distant memory of the woman playing legos with them on the floor. but someone who was a real part of their lives. >> larry: elizabeth edwards.

breaking news tonight on

"360." hurricane alex gathering strength and slamming into the coast as a category 2 hurricane with 100-mile-per-hour winds. the system big enough to keep skimming operations grounded hundreds of miles away in the gulf. and breaking news in portland, oregon. police have reopened an investigation involving vice president -- former vice president al gore. the massage therapist accusing gore of unwanted sexual contact at a hotel in 2006. the police took statements from the woman but initially closed the investigation for lack of evidence. those stories, a lot more from the gulf, tonight on "360." >> larry: we're back with elizabeth edwards. the paperback now out of the major best-seller in hard cover, now a paperback. read another segment from the book. >> those closest to me saw the torment inside me. saw it seep into other parts of

my life. but now as i try to put that life back together, to find the new imperfect and, yes, unsaintly me, i need to think about myself and who i really am and who i really want. and like so many women, who i want resolvolves around my fami. i actually had written in the hardback originally that i was going through a lot of this torment. before anybody drew a picture of me that was unsaintly, i drew a picture of myself, basically saying, you know, i'd been angry beyond reason sometimes. i just didn't know what -- didn't expect this, i had no -- no place to tap inside me. i just -- and so i was -- i spent a lot of time very angry and frustrated. and so -- and i was -- i tried to be honest about that. i didn't go on and on about myself. but i did try to be honest. and that's what -- and i needed

to leave behind. i needed to leave these people behind me. i needed to leave that life behind me. and do something that is better for my health, better for my kids, better probably for my longevity. >> larry: you know, when it happens, and we hope it doesn't happen, john's going to get hit awful hard. you know he's going to take a brutal beating. >> which, you know, he has to be responsible for himself. just breaks my heart for my children. because one of the things that i really want is for them to have -- because they'll need it. they'll need to have a good relationship with their father. and so that's enormously important to me. he's been a great father to them in a lot of ways. in some ways, has he failed them? yes. but in so many ways he's been really a spectacular father. and i want them to have that. so if he's getting beat up, it's just going to make that more difficu

difficult. >> larry: is he practicing law? >> no. >> larry: why not? >> well, i think he's sort of talked to people about doing doing it, but he's sort of waiting for lots of leaves to fall off the tree or shoes to fall off, whatever it is, waiting for all that stuff to be behind him. >> larry: you're a vital woman, only 60. i say only 60. >> that's nice of you to say. >> >> larry: 60 is yesterday's 48. >> that's right. >> larry: what do you do about affection? >> i get -- you know, that's a really good question, i think, and something i've thought about. and that does make me sad, to think that i may live out the rest of my days and the likelihood is that i'll live out the rest of my days without someone who -- >> larry: holding you. >> huh? >> larry: holding you. >> holding me in a passionate way. i get more hugs than you can possibly imagine.

i can't go through the airport, tsa woman this morning at the airport. any place i go, i get lots of hugs from people and they really mean it. and it means a lot to me, but that different kind of affection, and i also have tons of friends and an unbelievable family. i just have a great family. but that other kind of affection may be behind me, you know. i can't imagine, honestly -- i can't imagine circumstances where i would fall in love or that anyone would fall in love with me. and it is hard sometimes to think that that's a part of my past. >> larry: you love john? >> that's a hard question to answer because i know more than one john, you know. is there a john that i love and will always love? there absolutely is. do i think that he's in there some place? i do. i believe that he's there, but the last few years, i haven't lived with that john and that's been really hard. and the john that i was living with was not a john that -- it's

complicated, because he looked like him, talked like him, you know, but it was not a john -- >> larry: and his followers sure loved him. >> yeah, and because he stood for so many things that mattered, still does. one of the things that's frustrated for him is that the things that really mattered to him, the person that he really is is unable to act out. >> larry: our remaining moments with elizabeth edwards right after this. seafood from around the country... during red lobster's american seafood celebration. try new lobster with bourbon shrimp and scallops... or new chesapeake shrimp with crab. starting at $12.99...

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>> larry: we have just a couple of moments left. elizabeth edwards' book is "resilience." what do you make of al and tipper gore? >> it makes me sad. i'm extremely fond of both of them. they're not close friends of mine, but i have had dealings with them over the years. tipper did the pictures for an interview for me in elle magazine once and i took a picture of her for -- >> larry: she's a great photographer. >> she is. i definitely got the better end of this deal but for the

contributor's page i took a picture of her in a mustang that al had bought for her, which was just like the mustang she had in high school, her first car. you could see the affection they had for one another but, you know, california, washington, d.c. and nashville, with their lives spread out that much, it may have been that at some point it was easier. >> larry: what do you make of michelle obama? >> i think she's doing a really good job of what i think -- i thought it was the worst job in the country and i think she's doing a splendid job with it. >> larry: worst job why. >> huh? >> larry: worst job why? >> well, because people talk about what you're wearing, if you talk about any real issue and you know she cares about real issues, people can be critical of you, that you're talking about a real issue. and i can't imagine being able to keep your mouth shut for four years or eight years and not talk about anything that really matters. >> larry: and raising kids. >> and raising kids at the same time. her girls look lovely.

i think she's doing a great job. i love that she's wearing american designers. that's fantastic. >> larry: okay. you put it in the subtitle "reflections on the burdens and gifts of facing life's adverse i ities. burdens are obvious. >> yes. >> larry: what are the gifts? >> the gifts are that, you know, you are reminded time and again -- the easiest example is wade's death because it's not so -- there's not so many other parts of it. when wade died, it was a terrible burden, but it also reminded you both of the fact that you needed to grab hold of each day, that you couldn't just take each day for granted. you had to make each day matter, make each interchange with people that you cared about matter. in my family, my dysfunctional family, it was lots of "i love yous," lots of hugs, lots of constant reminders that we cared about one another. and i think that was a gift wade gave us. i think he made us understand

that it was really important. emma claire, when she was a baby, had colic. she cried for hours and hours and i could just rock her and sing to her for hours and hours, even though she screamed back at me the whole time because i thought if this were wade and i got to hold him but he was crying, i thought would it be okay with me? you bet. even if she's crying, it's a gift, this moment that i have. and so you can learn things from each thing that's bad, there's always something to be learned from it. >> larry: less than a minute. what do you say to other cancer patients? >> that as long as you're walking around, as long as you're not dead nail, you're alive. >> larry: look in the mirror. >> that's right. you're alive. don't spend your time worrying about when it is you're going to die. spend your time worrying about how it is you're going to live today. >> larry: elizabeth, it is a pleasure knowing u. >> back to you, larry. >> larry: hang around, okay? >> okay, you, too. >> larry: reflections on t