>> larry: tonight tony robbins wants to help you break through. he'll motivate, inspire and encourage you to overcome life's problems no matter how tough they get. >> it was just putting the train back on the rails. >> larry: see how he's helped others with simple tools and common sense. >> he really helped fast track the process to make us feel independent and strong again. >> larry: tony robbins, life changing hour next on "larry king live." >> larry: good evening. tony robbins, old friend, life coach, motivational speaker, best-selling author and host of "breakthrough" with tony robbins

which airs tuesday, 8:00 p.m. on nbc. i saw the past show, it is terrific. how did you get into doing the television thing? >> 15 years of people approaching me. i've never been a reality tv fan. i do infomercials. >> larry: you're seen everywhere. >> i'm seen everywhere. that was helpful after one show. i didn't like the idea of moving people off islands, voting them off. i wanted to do something inspirational. every time i went to do a show, it went down to humiliation. and then i found partners who did the biggest loser and extreme home make over. and i said, how can we do this? nbc said we'll do a special. we'll do six specials i got very excited about showing people what's possible, especially in this environment. >> larry: we'll meet two of the couples you helped tonight. how did you come to find the people. >> i didn't want people that wanted to be on television.

i wanted people nominated, who knew they were going through a tough time. my whole thought was get people that really are good people that you want to root for, but have gotten a raw deal. life has crushed them. let's give them a second chance. i watch a video of this young boy, tears in his ey saying come help my dad. i watched my mom get killed in a drive-by shooting. we live in the salvation army. come help me. that moved me. what moved me is what i selected. i had to come up with a plan. how do you help someone move from being trapped in their house, a quadriplegic to regaining their life back in 30 days. i had to come up with something that would be something you want to watch on prime time television, inspire you. based on the feedback from the first night, it seems to have gone extremely well. >> larry: how many shows in all? >> six specials. >> larry: is there a possibility of this being a regular show? >> i don't have time for a regular show. i might do more specials if people like it. this is the next six tuesdays in the summer here. it's 8:00 p.m., a great time slot where "biggest loser" would be.

>> larry: first of all, you spent money on this. >> of course we did. i didn't do it for business reasons. it was a mission for me. i poured everything into it. nbc didn't have the budget, i poured more into it. i wanted to see people get this result and this impact. if you watch the show, you can't help but move away saying, my god, i have no problems. we're living, larry, in a time, where more americans -- first time in 100 years where most americans believe the future for me and my children is going to be worst than the past. that's a scary thought. i thought if i could take a show where you can take people who are in much worse situations than you are. loeg losing a job seems bad until you lose your legs. losing your legs seems really bad until you have terminal cancer. if you can show people facing huge odds, turning around and showing people how, i thought it would inspire them and show them a pathway to change their own life. >> larry: been a long time since you've been on. how did you get to do what you do? you're not a psychologist, not a doctor. >> no. i love people. when i was a kid, i was obsessed

to know answers. i was short and fat, 5'1" in high school. i wanted to help people and connect with people. i wasn't popular. i read books, 700 books over seven years, human development, psychology, physiology. i tried to apply it. i lost weight. my friends wanted to know how. i taught them. by the time i was in high school, i was mr. solution, i had the solution. especially if you were a girl because i was extra motivated. >> larry: how did it start? what was the first thing you did? >> for myself, it was losing weight. and helping my friends. >> larry: helping people. >> what put me on the map, i was in vancouver, british columbia, canada. i was doing a radio show. >> larry: a talk show? >> a talk show. i was being interviewed and said i can help anybody. i don't care if you have lifetime phobias, if you've been in therapy for years, i'm the one-stop therapist. people called in, can you do this, do that. i said yes, yes, yes. i had only done four therapies.

a psychologist called up and attacked me and said i was a liar, and said you can't do that, it could take four or five years. are you a scientist? of course, i'm a physician. you're making assumptions here. i said why don't you do a little test? i'm at the holiday inn tomorrow night. i'm doing a free guest event. i'm going to demonstrate the stuff really works. bring me one of your own patients, somebody you've never been able to cure. i'm sure you have plenty of those. long story short, larry, he brought this woman who he worked on a seven years who had a snake phobia, where a snake would bite her on the face in her dream. she'd wake up. four to seven times a week he was treating her. i said bring her down. that should take me ten or 15 minutes. i was a young punk kid. i wrapped a snake around her at the end. that became my signature. and what i did, i was never a

motivator but i believe in energy. i thought i'm a coach. i've always had great athletic coaches. they're not better than me. they showed me the way. >> larry: and then you became famous? >> at that and then i went to bigger challenges. i went to the united states army and said i can cut your training time in half and increase the results. they said you're crazy. i did it. i took a pistol shooting program that they worked on for 30 years, cut the training time in half. gradually i got turning around athletes, andre agassi when he dropped to 31. i helped him get to number one. he gave me a lot of credit. tremendous credit, maybe more than i deserve. it grew to president clinton, princess diana. nelson mandela. >> larry: what makes a good therapist? >> i'm not a therapist, so i won't comment on that. >> larry: the kind of person who does what you do, who is well suited to do that? >> somebody who really cares. the only reward you get is seeing people change. you have to be able to step into somebody, not just into their head but into their heart. other wise what you are doing is just cognitive. >> larry: can't fake it? >> a lot of people can fake it.

>> larry: you can't be successful for a large period of time? >> no. human beings have such large bs meters today, they can see it and feel it. nobody is going to be moved by somebody who is trying to get you to do something. >> larry: when you try to help someone that doesn't work, you examine -- a lot of people say the best examinations are from failures. >> without a doubt. >> larry: are you very self critical? >> my staff would say to you i don't ever leave a meeting with a big audience or create something new after i'm done, i take out the tape recorder and we look at what's worked and here is what we can do better. i've been doing it for 33 years in 100 countries. so that is part of how you get better. >> larry: he's amazing and so is the tv show. we'll meet some incredible couples that tony is helping on his new show. one of them faced unbelievable challenges next. now snapple's got healthy green tea, tasty black tea, real sugar,

what's our slogan? bester stuff! - stuffy stuff! - good stuff for bettering stuff! guys? the best stuff on earth just got better. - good stuff, craig. - we're dating. [ announcer ] snapple. the best stuff on earth just got better. ♪ [ male announcer ] like summer, it's here, but not forever. the lexus golden opportunity sales event. see your lexus dealer. i want to fix up old houses. ♪

[ woman ] when i grow up, i want to take him on his first flight. i want to run a marathon. i'm going to work with kids. i'm going to own my own restaurant. when i grow up, i'm going to start a band. [ female announcer ] at aarp we believe you're never done growing. thanks, mom. i just want to get my car back. [ female announcer ] together we can discover the best of what's next at aarp.org.

the happiest day of my life turned into my worst nightmare. i was married to my husband, frank alioto. at the end of the reception there was tragedy. >> party was starting the wind down. kristen and the brides maids were in a part of the pool where you can dance around. i'm going to be with my wife. i jumped in the pool and then i started floating. i just remember i couldn't move and thinking to myself i was really in trouble. >> larry: joining us are frank alioto, a quadriplegic, paralyzed after jumping into a pool on his wedding day, and

kristin alioto, frank's wife. should have been the happiest day of frank and kristen's life. turned into tragedy when he broke his neck in two places. and now, one year since the accident, frank is confined to a wheelchair, reluctant to even leave his house while kristen is his full-time caregiver. take us back to that day. >> it should have been a wonderful day. we invited our family and friends down to puerto vallarta, mexico. we had 150, 170 people, this quaint little beautiful hotel on the beach. we had the ceremony overlooking the ocean, and kristen and i were actually so tired from celebrating all week, we were drinking water when we did all our toasts. we were over it. we had so much fun -- >> larry: how did you come to jump into a pool? >> the girls were all dancing, and i saw kristen and there was a shallow area of the pool,

maybe like an inch deep where she was dancing. i was at the bar. i said to my dad, i'm going to go jump in -- >> larry: with your clothes on? >> i was wearing a pair of shorts. it was very casual. i jumped in the pool and next thing i know, i'm floating, and i knew i was in trouble. i had no real recollection of willing able to move. i just knew i was in trouble and that i couldn't get myself out of the pool. >> larry: do you know what you hit? what happened? >> i really don't know what i hit. >> larry: did you see it happen, kristen? where were you? >> i was under water at the time from jumping in as well. when i came up, they already turned him over and were taking him to the side. >> larry: triumph turned to tragedy in a second. shows you about life. living in a wheelchair. frank and kristen have to deal with a lot of emotional pain. let's look at their first meeting with tony hoping to break through on "breakthrough"

which aired this past tuesday. >> what is it you really want to do with your life at this state? >> today we're trying to get back to our life, our new reality. it's just really difficult. >> i get up in the morning to eat a meal so i can take pills, so i can sit there and wait for the next meal and more pills. that's not living. >> yeah. >> i think i started grieving the life we were supposed to have. i tried to go back to work and manage the house and help frank and to grieve. >> how would you do all of that at once? >> i cry a lot. >> larry: tony, you fly them to fiji, and you give them challenges. why challenges? >> i wanted to rewrite the story. we all have a story of our life and it affects us.

the meaning of something, is this the end or is this the beginning? for them at that point it was obviously the end. they were in their home and kristen saying she didn't have a future, taking care of herman. he's feeling guilty, if he just stepped somewhere else. they're trapped in this house. let's rewrite the story, take a leap of faith and rewrite their life. the first stage was getting frank to know this chair didn't stop him. he could get through to this lady. he was crying, he could make that shift with her in a few seconds which he did. that changes the dynamic. the first task we did was sky diving because i wanted her to see this man is not fragile. it's one of the most intense things you can possibly do. >> larry: in a wheelchair? >> i haven't done it in the wheelchair. i knew a man named dan, 19 men went up in a sky daving accident, biggest in history. only three survived. when they landed -- when they took off, they crashed. the three that survived, dan was one of them, punctured lung,

crushed skull, hemorrhaged brain. he woke up after three weeks of being in a coma, they said he would never walk again, hollywood an o ring. three years later we won the gold medal in sky diving. that's why i teach them sky diving, to show them what was possible. >> larry: tony is big on taking action, getting us all to face our fears. let's look at this setup. watch. >> you see this man and woman, they're in such pain. i want them to create a greater sense of freedom. that freedom is only going to come if kristen can see frank as strong mentally, emotionally and physically and if frank can realize life can be rich regardless of what's happened to us on the outside. >> we're good. >> all right, buddy. >> now i'm nervous. >> that's our man! it's okay to feel that. i'll see you in a few minutes. remember what this is. a brand new life. a jump and a new life. we'll celebrate you with on the ground.

>> here we go. >> i'm strapped to another man who is loosely strapped to the helicopter. my foot is mere inches from the open doorway. this is not where i want to be. >> frank, we're about ready. anything you want to say? >> larry: why did you do it, frank? >> you know, i put my faith in tony and the people at the studio, and i was really reluctant. i was very nervous about it. i was very nervous about it. but they brought me halfway around the world. you've got to try what they're saying. >> larry: what did you think, kristen? >> i thought it was amazing. it was the first time in a long time that i was more concerned for myself than for frank.

i was terrified to be in the helicopter and to do that sky dive. >> larry: why did it work, tony? >> because i wanted to create a dynamic. >> larry: it doesn't make him walk and doesn't make her not have to take care of him. >> but this man knows he's not fragile. she does too. and what i hoped happened. he's shifted to taking care of her. he was reassuring her. there was an interesting moment where frank is saying, it will be okay, honey. she's freaking out. he's being the strong one. at one moment he said, i hope this thing is going to be done tandem. >> larry: you gave them other challenges. an amazing piece. more with kristen, frank and tony robbins after the break. he recommends citracal plus bone density builder... the only calcium supplement with genistein found in nature in soy and proven to significantly build bone density. citracal.

the show is "breakthrough." tony robbins, hairs tuesday nights on nbc. with us is frank and kristen alioto. he gave you other things to do, frank. like? >> he gave us a bunch of challenges. he proved to me that i could drive a truck again that i could still build things in my garage with my friends.

he made me play murder ball which was unbelievable. >> larry: rugby in a wheelchair. >> it was an unbelievable experience. i spent the week basically with some very experienced quadriplegics. they showed me around san diego. they led me places. they took me places. and they kind of showed me that, you know, it's not as bad as you would think. >> larry: kristen, they send you on a holiday to dell coronado spa. you get the work. you come and have no idea he's going to play this, right? >> i had no idea what he was doing for the time i was away. we weren't allowed to speak or have any communication. >> larry: what did you think when you saw him? >> i imagined quite a few things they were doing with him. that was the last thing i imagined. i never imagined that. >> larry: he drives the truck and tony in the truck. then he has a stage -- >> he drives the damn thing 100 miles an hour. >> larry: and you redo the vows, what's the point of that? >> i wanted to finish rewriting their story.

they became world travelers again. they were both sky drivers. he was a murder ball player. the last piece after driving his truck was rewriting the wedding. it was the only negative memory. everyone was there. that was at the original wedding. >> larry: no pool. >> no pool. thanks, larry. >> larry: how is your life since? i knew you had a tragic thing happen. basically how different are you as a couple now? >> we're not afraid now. we are -- this year we made plans to finally go on our honeymoon. it involved taking a plane overseas. we're just going to do it. >> larry: where are you going? >> we're going to hawaii. i'm not afraid to get on the plane. i'm not afraid to go travel. >> larry: that's great. that's just great. >> they called me in january and said guess what we're doing? i said what? they said camping. amazing. >> larry: you had a trauma happen? >> i did. i had a benign brain tumor discovered in february.

after two surgeries i am tumor-free, back at work full time, and i have a great appreciation for everything we learned through tony because i don't think we would have made it through me being hospitalized without it. >> larry: if it was benign, why did they have to do surgery? >> they think it had been growing 10 to 15 years and was dangerously close to my brain stem. >> larry: so it didn't matter? >> she understates so much. size of a grapefruit. the first eight-hour surgery they couldn't get it all. this character over here went through you take care of me to he took charge. the doctor couldn't get it done. he made sure they got to san diego and found another doctor and said that doctor is great, but i do all these all the time. he got the entire three piece out. that was only three weeks ago. look at her now. >> larry: what joy you must feel, tony. >> the joy i feel is to see these two people have their life back and also because i know the reason we did this, the reason they did it too, so many people sit at home and think their life is over. something hits them. we all get hit.

these people are proof you can turn around in less than 30 days. some of the people say, will it last? a year later, i asked the other day. i said, what was it like? she said because my man was with me like that, it was a blip. having cancer was like a blip. two brain surgeries, like a blip? she's a pretty strong lady. they both are incredible. >> larry: what are you doing right now. >> i'm not working right now. i was a mechanical engineer. i'm in negotiations right now to start a new job doing some consulting in engineering. >> larry: do you work, kristen? >> i do. >> larry: you're supporting then? >> i am. i work full-time at a studio and i didn't want to be the sole support but we're making it work. >> larry: what did tony robbins mean to you, frank? >> tony really gave me hope. i didn't have a lot of hope before the show. not to say we wouldn't conquer our fears in years, but he really helped fast track the process to make us feel independent and strong again.

>> larry: but you still have to take care of him, right, kristen? >> i do. but i have a better attitude about it. i'm letting someone help me. we have a caregiver five days a week now. so i'm letting other people help when i know i can't do it all. >> frank went to the all-star game the other day with a buddy of his. they couldn't get through all the parking. there you know what that's like. he said you go out and go to the front and get one of the passes. frank went and got the pass and get through. he gets on the bus to go to physical therapy on his own. he does it on his own now. this guy when i knew him had a brace on his neck. i said you don't realize how incredibly loose and free you've got. >> larry: have you gotten over the "why me" factor? >> i have gotten over the kind of looking at yourself and going, woe is me. you know, it happened. we're moving past it and conquering it as best we can.

i spend a lot of time at local gym, next step fitness, trying to get more and more independent. my goal is to make it so she has to help me as little as possible. >> larry: this episode of "breakthrough" aired this past tuesday. i'm sure nbc in its wisdom will run it again. >> you go to breakthroughinsider.com. >> larry: okay. you want to watch it, go to breakthroughinsider.com and watch it on the website and you can do it -- don't do it immediately. wait until the show is over. an affair takes its toll on a young couple, threatens to destroy a lifelong dream. how tony helped next. were found to be absorbed by the body. these nutrients help support energy and immunity. science gives you more reason to trust centrum. sweet & salty nut bars... they're made from whole roasted nuts and dipped in creamy peanut butter,

making your craving for a sweet & salty bar irresistible, by nature valley. it can happen anytime. an everyday moment can turn romantic at a moment's notice. and when it does, men with erectile dysfunction can be more confident in their ability to be ready with cialis for daily use. cialis for daily use is a clinically proven, low-dose tablet you take every day, so you can be ready anytime the moment's right

for you and your partner. tell your doctor about your medical condition and all medications and ask if you're healthy enough for sexual activity. don't take cialis if you take nitrates for chest pain, as this may cause an unsafe drop in blood pressure. don't drink alcohol in excess with cialis. side effects may include headache, upset stomach, delayed back ache or muscle ache. to avoid long-term injury, seek immediate medical help for an erection lasting more than 4 hours. if you have any sudden decrease or loss in hearing or vision, stop taking cialis and call your doctor right away. ask your doctor if cialis for daily use is right for you. for a 30-tablet free trial offer, go to cialis.com. for a 30-tablet free trial offer, host: could switching to geico did the little piggy cry wee wee wee all the way home? piggy: weeeeeee, weeeeeee, weeeeeee, weeeee weeeeeeee. mom: max. ...maxwell! piggy: yeah?

mom: you're home. piggy: oh,cool, thanks mrs. a. anncr: geico. 15 minutes could save you 15% or more. we're back. melissa lawson is the winner of "nashville star," the tv singing contest.

she learned her husband rick was having an affair while she was on tour. it might have something to do with the fact that he spent those three months running a business and taking care of a family. we welcome the lawsons to "larry king live." they will be the subject of "breakthrough" with tony robbins next tuesday night, right? melissa, what happened? >> well, i went to audition for "nashville star." >> larry: how many children do you have? >> i have five boys. >> larry: together, the two of you. >> together. they're all ours. >> larry: you went on "nashville star." >> it was an amazing process. thought it was 20 years of effort coming true. the fans voted. thanks to them we won the show. i say we because i had the support of everyone around me. >> larry: you went to the beijing olympics, right? you toured for three months? you weren't home. >> right. it was on and off. i would be home a few days, on the road a few days, kind of here and there. toward the end of that period

things started kind of going south. rick was very focused into facebook and other social media type of things. i just noticed that he was gone. and i wasn't really paying attention to my own responsibility, and i was very focused on what he was doing. >> larry: what were you doing, rick? >> i discovered in an e-mail. >> i discovered what i was doing was really kind of escaping. facebook and the internet and all that stuff was a way to get away from stress and some of the distance that i felt between melissa and i that had developed, and just this kind of stresses and struggles of running a business and being a parent of five boys. >> larry: so you had an affair? >> it was an emotional affair. yes, it was a big mistake. it was just a part of the symptom of all the stuff going on at that point. >> larry: how long did it last? >> actually got nipped in the bud pretty quick. it lasted two or three weeks and

then we got found out. >> larry: how did you find out? >> i found an inbox message in facebook. when you log in, it's automatic. i thought it was my own page. it was rick's page. inbox from this person. of course, i know her. >> larry: you knew her? >> yes. we went to church together. i just thought it was, you know -- i thought, okay, this is a message to me. i open it up. it essentially says, hey, i don't have any kids tomorrow. you want to meet between 9:00 and 2:00? i'm like, what is this? i confronted rick about it. of course, he said i don't know what you're talking about. there had been a few little things. when you're a woman you just know. >> larry: why didn't a divorce occur? >> you know, i asked rick to stop the behavior. it was kind of chaotic at the time. i think at the time there were many things going on that stopped the divorce. obviously five children is a huge reason. so it gives you pause. and then not to mention just everything else going on around us.

i felt at the time that i needed him. i don't want to say co-dependent is a huge word. >> larry: how do you come into this, tony? >> so easy to judge. when i heard about it -- i heard about it because they were nominated by people that knew him. the first thing you want to do is rattle his chain and say what the hell is the matter with you. no matter how thin you slice it, there's always two sides. i dug underneath and found out according to the structure of the show she wasn't allowed to talk to her kids or husband for two months, three months. >> three months. >> larry: that was the show's rules? >> yes. >> i said, look, if it's the show's rules, i break the rules. there is a reason why he was -- he's totally responsible for what he did. instead of having this judgment, the thing was to bring them together and say can we turn this around because at the time you have a family that these boys deserve their parents to be together. they're being neglected. they're acting crazy because they don't have attention.

they're losing their home and their career. if the reality show did this, maybe a reality show can be the trigger to help them. >> larry: you gave them challenges, too? >> i did. >> larry: part of moving past the problem is facing it head on. here is melissa letting her feelings out and letting rick know exactly what she thinks. >> there needs to be a different way to get through. i want you to close your eyes and think of a time when you are frustrated with him. here is what i want you to do. she's going to go at you. the more she comes at you, i want you to think inside your mind one thing, i love you, i worship you, i own you forever. open your eyes and go at it. >> i want you to quit acting like a child. i want you to start putting all of yourself into me and the children instead of all about yourself all the time. i want you to -- i just want you to be with me.

>> it's okay. >> larry: why did that work? >> one of the challenges was, she was getting more rewards from the audience than she was at home. we all move to where that love is, where that attention is. we live in a culture where she knows she has a god given gift. she has an extraordinary gift. she also has a god given gift called five boys and a husband and she had forgotten that piece. i had to get both of them to grow and come together. what she was dieing for was for him to give her the attention. meanwhile, he's wanting her to give him presence. two people crying for help and it looked ugly. when they came together, they were able to start supporting each other and turn things around. >> larry: one of the things you challenged her was to write a song about this? >> i did. we did a lot of challenges. after they had done the process of decoupling from the internet, being with the kids back in an 1830s style ranch where they had to do everything on their own. they both found what mattered

most to them was their children. it changed everything. i told her she couldn't write music for money. she had to take care of kids first for the next 18 months. i said you can write music and you have to write a song in two days and perform it in front of a couple thousand people. you have to write it. together. that was a process. >> larry: as we go to break, you'll hear melissa lawson sing that song. that song is "united we stand." we'll be right back. ♪ no matter the cause of what we feel we've lost do anything we can because united we stand ♪ stopping. it's not that hard. and only allstate pays you an extra bonus to do it. get one of these every six months you go without an accident. [ judy ] what are you waiting for? call or click today for a free quote or to find an allstate agent. call or click today for a free quote [ man ] to the seekers of things which are one of a kind. the authentic, the rare, the hard to define.

to those who'd climb mountains or sail across seas... for the perfect vanilla or honey from bees. to the lovers of orchards where simple is grown, who treat every bite as a world of its own. to those always searching for what's pure and what's real... from we who believe... we know just how you feel. häagen-dazs.

we'll see melissa lawson and rick lawson next tuesday night at 8:00 on nbc when "breakthrough's" second show occurs. and tony robbins will host it, of course. if you want more information as well as the earlier couple, breakthroughinsider.com on your website. you're still singing, right? still touring? >> not yet. it's in the works. >> larry: are you worried about touring again? >> no. my family is number one priority. if i can't do touring -- i have to put my family first. >> if i could say, larry, the

other thing i discovered is my passion is my family, too. and focusing on being really present for them and for melissa, it is where i need to be. because of -- we're talking to each other and communicating, it's a whole different level. >> larry: what challenge was the toughest for you? >> the toughest challenge for me was -- you'll see it on tuesday night, was the family challenge, because i had discovered -- i never attached my kids' behavior to my lack of being a really great dad. i love my kids, emotionally connected to them all the time. but i wasn't being -- i wasn't handling the discipline side. i wasn't being a leader in my family. i wasn't taking care of my family like i should, as a man should. and tony really helped me to see that. the experience that we went through, it was tough because i

was basically having to do something that i hadn't been doing ever in about 17 years with this woman. >> to give you a context, she was so not present as a mom even though she's got a big heart, everything was the career. he was not present because he was focused on what he thought was important. there are the five boys that looked like the most bratty kids in the world. they just don't have anybody present and loving. most people raise their kids on the internet, with dvds with disney movies. we took them away from all that. we said you're going to live as a family, make the food, provide. you're not going to be a celebrity mother. the process they went through, the man who owned the ranch called me and said, tony, it isn't working. these people failed. they're miserable. he's selfish, she's selfish. he was not very nice. they're dear friends now. they're not leaving this place without the lesson. we got the ox cart and they're going to put all their things in

there, if their life is going to change, they have to get themselves home. all the kids and boys together. he said tony, they'll never make it up the hill. he said it's impossible. i said, is it physically impossible or just for them? he said with a gun to their head, maybe. guess what? they're not going home without this change. the crew is saying, tony, we cannot film this. at the end, they're going like a bat out of you know what running as hard as they can to the end of this thing. you watch this family come unified together. >> larry: the children are 19, 9, 6, 4 and 2 1/2. >> actually 10, 10, 9, 6, 4 and 2 1/2. >> larry: how is it now, rick? >> i like to say life, it's a work in progress for anyone. for us to come out and say our life is like -- we have no problems anymore and no challenges and that we just communicate perfectly well every time. >> it's a dream.

>> that would be a dream. but the fact is that we have tools in place. we have a strategy in place to deal with our relationship, our parenting, our finances, our business. the most amazing thing for me is just that in the amount of time that tony gave us, it just -- it was just putting the train back on the rails. i like to call my wife the freight train. she was pulling hard and i was pulling hard in the wrong direction. tony helped us get in the same direction. >> larry: what did tony do for you melissa? >> i think he changed my life. i was relying and dependent upon acceptance from exterior motives. and to look inwardly -- and then when the affair happened, it was easy for me to say i blame you, i blame you. but to stop for a moment and take a look at yourself at the core of who you really are and find out who you really are is very painful. it's a struggle.

but obviously i would encourage anybody to do it because if you don't do it, you will be stuck and remain in the same place that you were and you will never get to where you want to be in life. >> the difference, i look at the difference not by what people say but by the way their feet move. a year later, her big conflict was -- i said you've got to put your kids first. she had a struggle inside of her, a demon, the ego we all have. she's been offered a couple of deals. one that sony read and said you've got to come do this contracted and come on the road and be away from your family. she said, you know what? this is such a great offer. my kids are first. she's partnering with a man who is allowing her to be with her family. >> larry: what do you do, rick? >> i'm a contractor, primarily roofing, the dallas, ft. worth area. >> larry: you should be very, very thankful there is a tony

robbins. >> no doubt in my mind god sent tony. >> i want you to know they did the work. i can guide them and coach them all day long. people have to do the work themselves. you guys did. i'm proud of you. >> larry: the lawson's episode airs tuesday night on nbc. when we come back, tony gives advice on how you can break through next. dr. scholl's back pain relief orthotics with shockguard technology give you immediate relief that lasts all day long. dr. scholl's. pain relief is a step away.

>> larry: we're back with tony robbins, life coach, motivational speaker, best selling author and host of "breakthrough" with tony robbins, tuesdayat 8:00 eastern. on nbc. the second segment featuring the lawsons is what comes next. a lot of people have a lot of problems now with the recession. let's discuss fear. roosevelt once said the only thing we have to fear is fear itself. is that truism? >> i think it's absolutely true. the only way to kill a fear, you can try to do it cognitively all

day long. you have to face it and you have to do it. beliefs are what controls us, whether you believe you can do something or not affects whether you'll try it. create an experience that violates it. frank had beliefs and was living in this house where this is the place i live, i can't leave here. when you physically take him to fiji. along the airport, what's the biggest fear, they dropped him. people at the airlines dropped him. i'm going crazy. we got fiji and they dropped him again. they got him to fiji and they dropped him again. i built this resort 20 years ago. the doctor on board said we're going back. they took him back, ready to quit right it then and there. this didn't just come together. we had to react to whatever life gave us. >> larry: what the hardest thing is, is to change. why is that so hard? because we're prisoners of what we are? >> i don't know if we're prisoners of what we are. i think most of us meet our needs through our problems.

we have a need in life for certainty. and to change requires a lot of uncertainty. we want uncertainty, too, because it creates surprise. if you ask people, do you like surprises? yeah. no, you don't. you like surprises you want. the surprises you don't want, you call painful. we have the need for having significance in our lives, something unique, something special. there's two ways to be special. take a risk, build the tallest building in town or blow everybody else's building up. that's the reason you see all these people tearing down celebrities. we like them on the way up and they get there too long, we want to push them down so we feel higher. we get addict to our problems not because they're good for us but because they're like sugar. it will make you feel good for the moment. then you have to have more sugar. the only way to get rid of a problem is replace it with a more compelling life. that's what you are seeing the people do. they have something. traveling around the world again. having a chance to inspire other people. he's looking to start his own business. that's a different universe they're in because they've had new experiences, not just new conversations.

>> larry: when it fails and i'm sure you've dealt with people. >> yes. >> larry: how do you -- do you learn from it? >> you have to. almost always, it's one of two things. either there isn't real hunger there. one thing i can't give somebody is hunger. that drive, that desire, that force. there has to be a hunger. two, you have to have the right strategy. everybody is different. what works for you doesn't necessarily work for the next person. my skill set is to figure out what's going to work for you. in each of these six episodes, they're radically different. somebody who is trapped inside their house, somebody who has the affair. after 23 years, they lose their job. for every one of them, i come up with different strategies, whether it's going to literally be with marines for 11 days and you're 50 years old, 80 pounds overweight and i got to get you to climb the trail of tears that the 18-year-olds can't do or a couple that's so afraid of being homeless, i make them homeless and they find out what they're made of and come together. >> larry: what advice would tony

give lindsay lohan or mel gibson? we'll find out next.

it doesn't look risky. i mean, phil, does this look risky to you? nancy? fred? no. well it is. in a high-risk area, there's a 1-in-4 chance homes like us will flood. i'm glad i got flood insurance. fred, you should look into it. i'm a risk-taker. [ female announcer ] only flood insurance covers floods. visit floodsmart.gov/risk to learn your risk.

[meow] desperate for nighttime heartburn relief? for many, nexium helps relieve heartburn symptoms caused by acid reflux disease. and for the majority of patients with prescription coverage for nexium, it can cost $30 or less per month. headache, diarrhea, and abdominal pain are possible side effects of nexium. other serious stomach conditions may still exist. ask your doctor if nexium can help relieve your heartburn symptoms. if you can't afford your medication, astrazeneca may be able to help.

>> larry: we have two cases in the news, both cases of addiction. mel gibson has some sort of alcohol problem and anger problem and lindsay lohan has some sort of addiction problem. is there advice you can give or do they have to get cured first or is there a cure? >> the only cure for addiction is a new addiction. you need to have a positive one. for lindsay to change, it will be very hard. as long as she believes it's not my fault and she's encouraged that belief and as long as when she's going into jail and she gets paid a $1 million deal, makes more money having a problem than acting per minute, per hour, she's not going to change. under mel's case, he has had an incredible history before this and none of this has shown up. everybody has to be saying what is going on? >> larry: could it be new? >> absolutely.

when people's life matches how they think life should be, they're happy. if you have a blueprint, a mind-set, this is where my life should be and your life doesn't match, people get a little crazy and some people drink. some people get angry. there's something in mel's world that doesn't match. i don't know what it is. it may have to do with aging, something with his kids, family or something with himself. we all have inner conflicts. my job is to help you take those inner conflicts and realign them so you can move forward. >> larry: i never get personal on this show but i have a stepson, danny. >> yes. >> larry: who has worked with you and been to your seminars. he is a quarterback with the oakland raiders. anywhere along the line he could have given up this desire for football and gone to something else. >> and should have, according to many people, right? >> larry: yeah. so what keeps -- what do you do for him or others that keeps someone going? >> usually i can give them a strategy for reigniting what's going on inside themselves or give them a strategy of how to get the job done quicker. you need to be totally focused and committed to something with

every ounce of your soul but then you have to execute. if your goal is to see a sunset and your strategy is to run east, i don't care how positive you are, it doesn't matter. i'm about strategy. but if you know what you want and you're focused and keep changing your approach and learn from other people and have a pathway that works, the last part, frankly, is grace. there's a little grace in everything, you know. >> what do you do when it doesn't happen, when the goal isn't met? >> change your approach or find a way to use it. sometimes you have to deal with the cards you're dealt. sometimes you're not meant to get something but find an empowering meaning. does this mean it's over? does this mean something else is opening up that's even more important? capacity, not so much positive -- i don't like that positive thinking. people think i teach people to get positive. i believe in being smart. see the problem, deal with it right now. move forward. things you can control, you have to attack. if it doesn't work, keep changing your approach until you do. it's that simplistic. if you know the strategy, you can save yourself a decade of time. i spent 30 years gathering strategies to help people do

well in difficult financial times or emotional times. >> larry: as a group, speaking of financial times, as a group what do people do when economics are bad? >> well, most people -- >> larry: it's not their fault. >> most people get to a point where they go into learned helplessness and they sit and wait for someone else to deal with something. people down in the gulf when katrina happened, really proud, my wife and i, we fed 100,000 people down there. i haven't gone there yet. first you have to see, these men and women that were part of three generations of fishermen, are those oysters dead for two years, five years or ten years? if you say i can't do anything else. we've done it forever, you're wrong. you have to deal with your life first. instead of blaming somebody -- blame will get dealt with. what are you going to do to take care of your family? you might have to retool, do something other than being a fisherman. you might have to move. that's the reality. we want to help people once we know what the clear results are.