a lot of self-worth. when you're in the ring with people, you just figure out who they are. the on way that you're going to beat somebody is if they gave up on themselves. some girls are better than me. they just don't know it. so i win. >> what really happened to michael jackson? >> jermaine jackson who he blames his brother's death. do you think it was a cover up? what do you think? >> i would think that as a family member, yes. >> emotional true story of michael's life. >> like they pushed him where his wings why injured. they wanted to push him off a cliff and expected him to fly and he failed. >> and his death. >> concerned about money, their jobs or my brother's help?

>> the real story behind the scandals. >> they could hurt him and people called him michael jacko. >> the jackson family, behind closed doors. >> the crap and garbage written about my family for so many years and all these other books that went unauthorized. people saying things that didn't know us. >> jermaine jackson, prime time exclusive. this is "piers morgan tonight." i want to start with the trial of dr. conrad murray. hugely significant. so you and your family and the world to try to go through the process of this trial, we work out what really happened to your brother, michael. as we approach the start of this trial, what are your feelings >> my feelings are this is something this has been long

awaited for. it is up to the point there has been a lot of speculation and hearsay. i think that we are all going to -- it is not going to bring closure but give us a clear understanding of what happened and the fans and public as well as ourselves need to know what happened, what took place. there are so many things that happen that we weren't aware of as a family we were kept away. >> do you think that conrad murray was sole will you responsible for your brother's death? >> my gut feeling is -- there are a lot of questions to be answered and we don't know yet. until the trial unfolds and we sort of get the facts, weather they will come to the facts or not, by doing the book, i had a clear understanding of a lot of things that i didn't know from

the past and how all these things came about with michael's life and his business about the present day. >> it seems to come down to this. i would imagine conrad murray's defense will be that he was encouraged to prescribe propofol drug to michael that night. the drug that killed him. i would imagine on your side, you will be out there as a familiar that this was all conrad murray's decision. if it what was michael was addicted to and whether the prescription of this drug was just a part of that addiction, what do you think of that? >> i think, first of all, being

a cardiologist is a big difference. conrad murray had no business giving my brother propofol which i just learned about this drug by doing the book. and in terms of them trying to say my brother was an addict where addicted michael, we know brother was on prescription drugs. whether demerol because of pain, excruciating pain, him wanting to have sleep. but -- >> michael just had this chronic inability to sleep. i knew having worked in the media he had a difficulty with it. i had no idea how bad it was. i mean, he would literally be unable to get any sleep at all night after night. >> coming off the stage, 180,000 people out there, your adrenaline is going so high. you are doing so much. it is hard to just put your head on the pillow and sleep. it goes on and on and have to get up off the stage. he always said he didn't want to tour because he didn't want to have the problems of not sleeping and having to take

demerol and things like that. but he wasn't addicted to it because his behavior wasn't to the point that he was an addict. he was looking for this to for sleep. he trusted whoever administered these things to him, he trusted them. >> when people hear about drug addition, celebrities, they tend to think cocaine or i can it is a -- ecstasy. clearly we are not in that situation with michael. they are not drugs to make him high or any kind of high experience. the drugs he was taking were all for pain and sleep. could it have been by the end after years of insomnia that he had become in a way addicted to any type of drug that would get him to sleep he craved? do you think that's possible? >> i really don't know. i do know that it is a difference between demerol and propofol. >> tell me about propofol.

you studied this for your book. it is fascinating what you found out. it is a much stronger drug than people realize. >> it puts you out. it is basically used when people are under the knife and want to not feel the pain. but the key to this is when you are a proven anesthesiologist and you are in the proper settings and the right medical field, you know how much to administer into a patient to keep him above the line but not so above they feel the pain. and to keep them from going below the line. >> is propofol considered by most physicians to be an anesthetic rather than just a sleeping pill? >> i really don't know. but i do know for michael to get sleep he had to be knocked out. and -- this wasn't just this one night. this was administered in him on an ongoing basis.

which was causing his body to deteriorate and him to act differently and have different symptoms in his behavior. >> you as a family, you were probably closest to michael in the family. collectively you must have known he had this ongoing problem with sleep in particular. when did you see conrad murray that night in the hospital? >> i saw conrad when i first went to the hospital and when i came back from seeing michael i went back to where my mother was sitting on the other side of the table. i'm here. my mother is here. here's conrad. we weren't this close. i didn't know who he was. but i said there's something strange about this guy. he's acting strange. i had formed that opinion before i had found out who he was. >> when you say strange, do you mean -- >> behavior. >> suspicious? guilty? >> everything. all of the above. it was just something wasn't

right. just wasn't normal. >> did you talk to him? >> no. no. >> did you say anything to the family? >> he wanted to come in, i guess, and say his -- something to my mother, condolences or something. i felt -- i'm uneasy him. >> did you know that he had been with michael that night? >> i found out, yeah, that he was with michael. he was there but, see, this is a strange case because this is treated as a homicide and the lapd, their investigation, and then -- the whereabouts who came in and out of the house. those tapes were erased. we don't know. there's a lot of questions. >> which tapes were erased? >> the surveillance tapes. >> they are all gone? >> some of the tapes were erased to the whereabouts who was coming in and out during the time.

>> who do you think did the erasing? >> they were in the hands of the police department. >> do you think there may be some kind of cover up? >> what do you think? i would think that as a family member, yes. >> coming up, michael's last tour. why jermaine says it was too much for him. >> they were only concerned about the show. moving the show forward. ♪ i'll be there and who ordered the yummy cereal? yummy. [ woman ] lower cholesterol. [ man 2 ] yummy. i got that wrong didn't i? [ male announcer ] want great taste and whole grain oats that can help lower cholesterol? honey nut cheerios.

if you watch "this is it," as i have done several times, you cannot dispute the fact he is in pretty good shape. the rehearsals are going great, he looks amazing, he looks excited. this is not a portrait of a guy who is on the verge of death. so i, as a fan of his, was shocked when i watched it to try to work out how it came to his death. you as a family member must be ten times as shocked because you were talking to him most days. how often did you talk to michael? >> we spoke to him not that much

during the rehearsals. we last saw him may 14. >> do you know how long he had been given propofol? >> see, with "this is it," there was lot of footage taken out that no one saw. that was the edit before the edit. and so much went on. so much. >> that footage is damaging? do you see a guy in a bit of a daze, zombie? what is the stuff you didn't see? >> this is why the defense will try to pain my brother out to be a drug addict and he was -- dependent on drugs and it is not true. how does someone be dependent on drugs and in 2008 he's dancing four hours a day. he had a five-year plan, starting a new life. >> let me throw something to you about this. he is a very famous tv star. one of the biggest stars in the world, a friend of mine who takes it every night to sleep.

he finds there's too much adrenaline and doing it for years. a form of addiction. i was on ambien after breaking ribs for 3 1/2 weeks. when i tried to stop, it was like having a form of cold turkey two, three weeks. these are strong drugs. propofol is significantly stronger. this friend of mine takes or that i was taking. if michael was getting this stuff over a regular period of time, he could still be performing perfectly well but as you say, underneath it, the damage would be pretty intensive, i would say. >> that's the question. michael has always had an anesthesiologist around when he was taking things. >> someone who knew about the process of knocking somebody out for the purposes of sleep. >> he's -- he's lived all this time doing demerol and sleeping

pills and pain pills. the symptoms from propofol is like no one new that he was -- public didn't know. he was complain being his body. one side being an ice cube. another side being very warm. >> do you know how long he had been taking -- is there any evidence have you seen. >> i really don't know. >> what's the family's leaf? what is the theory that you think about? >> our -- our belief is that we knew he was doing prescription drugs to sleep and pain. and we didn't know about propofol. i just -- found out about this drug which i can't even pronounce hardly. the symptoms. the reason i'm going the talk about the symptoms because -- you look at the past tours, you never heard of these symptoms that michael jackson not kwing whether to go right or left when he comes on stage. >> who was he telling about the symptoms? >> no.

these are people that were -- around him. him not being able to lift -- lift himself out of a five-p pound prop or something and repeating himself. and him -- losing just -- unbelievable weight. and -- these are signs of toxic in your body. >> are these signs from what you have been able to work out of propofol abuse? in other words, long-term use of that specific drug? are these side effects that you have identified? >> those are symptoms of that because of the fact that it was administered in him outside of a hospital setting, person inadequate to do this, and the fact that the night that he died, he was -- he just arranged a $15 million payment on the house. that's saying that he had plans of going beyond "this is it."

>> michael was a -- tough character when it came to business. he was the most fabulous and excellent entertainer of the generation. by common agreement when it came to his business, his craft, he could be a tough demanding task master of people. also quite obstinate. is it possible, do you think to be fair minded to conrad murray for a moment, to be dispassionate p. about the family position for a moment, is it possible knowing michael that he could have just ordered and demanded that conrad murray give him this drug? that conrad murray tried resist it but succumbed to pressure is that possible? >> whether it is possible or not, the -- being a doctor, you take an oath to care for your patient. not to kill them. and you take an oath to do things there are proper in the medical world not to administer outside of a hospital setting.

it is not even in your area. you are a cardiologist, not an anesthesiologist. >> even if michael -- >> even if michael -- he trusted doctors. dr. murray should have said no. under no circumstances, no. the fact that these symptoms -- went on around everybody there who weren't concerned about how he felt, they were only concerned about the show. moving the show forward. >> these are people working for aeg? >> these are people working for aeg, working for him, working for the show. >> i mean, there was always a bit of a circus around michael and his life. how many of the people directly around him at the time that he died do you think are culpable for a former responsibility to his death? >> see, that's the question i have. that's a question we have a as a family because i said in the book why didn't somebody call me, jackie, tito, marlin, his

family, to say come down, your brother is not acting normal? had we been called he would be alive today because we would have taken him to the hospital. they wanted the show to go on. it is the same thing of knowing that it wasn't his voice 100% on those songs released. it is all about seeing -- this is -- this is a story about greed, power and money. not looking at the person in michael. what i tried to do in the book is to show my little brother us growing up as jackson 5, kids with a dream. and the human side of it. no matter how great the success had became. he is still from a family, we are human. and -- >> you basically believe, i

think as a family reading the book, that the pressure from the people that were putting on this huge extravaganza, this -- amazing tour, i had tickets to first night in london. very excited about it. greatest performer i have ever seen. there were people there who had billions of dollars, hundreds of millions of dollars at stake on this tour being successful. it is not in their interest to raise alarm bells about his health, is there? >> no, because the fact that still p you have tens of millions of dollars, you still want more. but this -- this was than an event that was going to put money in everybody's pockets. but at the same time, his health was ignored. it is like they pushed and pushed this bird who was injured, his wings were injured and wanted to push him off the cliff and expected him to fly and he failed. >> when you saw michael after he died in the hospital, how did he physically look to you?

obviously he was dead. but how did he look in terms of the michael you knew? was it the same kind of body that you would expect. >> no, no. he had gone from 150 to 136. he was frail. he was -- i touched his face. his face was still soft. and kissed his forehead and i pulled one of his eyelids back. i wanted to look in his eyes. and -- i couldn't believe that what i saw wasn't my brother. and for people who had been around him all these years to see that and not say something and it bothers me, bothers us as a family. what were they concerned about? money? their jobs? or my brother's health? >> do you believe that you are going to get answers in this trial? or is this simply just not going to be enough evidence? >> to tell you the truth, it's

-- the defense is going to try to paint my brother out to be the most horrible person and he wasn't. he was most concerned about the world and healing the world and children who were starving and he just -- he did it and showed the actions. that's not the behavior of a drug addict. that's not the behavior of a person who is irresponsible and just wanted to be high out there. he has never the type of person that took drugs for recreation and irresponsible and didn't care. so my point to answer your question, we are not going to get michael back. even if conrad murray goes to jail, if that happens, i really don't know. we lost an incredible human being a brother who -- my little brother who just really cared about the world. to answer your question. we don't know. we really don know. i wrote the book to show the world, to show the fans this is who we are as a family.

and it was a long process. and it opened my eyes to a lot of things i didn't know. the crap and garbage that has been written about my family for so many years and all these other -- books that went unauthorized and people saying things that didn't know us. and then thinking we are from a small house in gary, indiana, with humble beginnings. so we weren't privy to crooks and people who had hidden agendas. >> will the family attend the trial? >> yes. >> will you do that? >> absolutely. >> every day? >> i'm going to try to be there as much as i can, yes. >> how do you think you will feel when you see conrad murray there? >> i didn't feel good about him before i knew him. i'm going to feel the same way. what i want from this whole thing is not for michael's death to be a question mark and

peoples' hearts and minds, too many people left. michael was -- he touched the hearts of many people around the world. and that's important. that's where we cry. >> we will take a break. then come back and go back to those early days. go back to the young michael. and the dreams he had and you all had as a family. >> we reached out to aeg but they declined inform comment on jermaine jackson's statements athat they ignored michael jackson's frail health and pushed him too hard. ♪

♪ extraordinarily honest, frank and open. it is called "you are not alone." you were his big brother. what was he like as a young guy, michael? describe the michael before it all became like a circus. >> michael was a very joyful kid. he was very fast on his feet. he was always into things.

he was a bit nosey at times. but he was a kid who always had dreams and he wanted to play store and i would tell a story of how we were looking out the window and singing the christmas songs and watching the snow fall and looking at our neighbor's homes because we weren't allowed to have christmas. jehovah witnesses. these are things that he missed and if you -- it says a lot about his life. >> would you ever wish as a family -- i interviewed janet and latoya this year. they have been quite revealing about this. did you ever wish that you hadn't gone through the superstardom and fame? >> that's a good question. i have always been told that i have never left and still that boy in gary because -- no matter where we come from, you never forget that little house, my

father being laid off and picking up potatoes to feed us and ongoing rehearsals all the time. being taught to stick together, stick together. you are family. not a business. you are a family. >> you are here in california now, luxurious home. you collect this on a material level, badges of great success that you enjoy with you and your family. do you have peace of mind? did you lose peace of mind getting to where you got to? >> no. because we have always known that this is just an illusion. success is nothing. it is what you share with one another as a family. it is like to prove my point, michael was loved by so many people. during the trial the whole world is accusing him of child molestation and saying the most

horrible things. all this stuff happened and at the end of the day, what has true value? seeing his family there and supporting him. all this material stuff. it has no value at all. i mean, he is gone. he can't take neverland with him, the catalog, nothing. >> michael was a contrary figure. i interviewed him once. he had a very gentle and sweet voice. talking about his family and children. i talked to him about business, it was like his voice dropped a couple of octaves and switched into game mode. it was very revealing to me he was quite a comedian. he had different characters depending on what you were discussing and guest who he was. he had a tough side to him as we. i also felt he was not addicted to fame but loved a lot of being a huge star. he played that role very well. he played up to it. million dollar shopping spree.

amazing cars and jets, neverland and so on. there was a large part of him which he loved and craved. >> no. there's -- there's no question. enjoying his life. but at the same time, he became a victim of his success. and it -- he came with -- when the thriller offer came, it was a major success. that's when all of the wacko jacko's and craziness, eccentric, lost his mind and all these things people were calling him. it is someone that never forgotten how we were taught, care about people. people have feelings. he had a lot of feelings. if you don't think it hurt him when people called him wacko jacko, called him crazy this and that, there were moments of things that happened. >> don't you think he slightly encouraged that impression by people? i mean, he would do strange

things quite deliberately i always felt as a marketing tool and made him much more interesting and played up to a lot of wacko jacko things, didn't he? >> not so much of the wacko jacko. the incident with the child. he got caught up in the moment. >> dangling blanket. let me ask you about that. let me just play again devil's advocate. when he did that, i couldn't imagine you doing that with any of your kids. michael wasn't -- didn't play life roles by the same rules we did. i mean, i would never have been done that to my children. i don't think you would have done that. obviously dangerous. >> we do things with children without knowing it. i agree he got caught up in the moment. it was an exciting moment. but we have always -- we have all taken a child and tossed them up in the air and caught them. we have all done it.

>> not over a balcony. >> i exactly. but when children are falling they lose their breath. we have all done things. he was showing the fans his child. i agree, it wasn't the smartest thing to do. but he got caught up in the moment. >> was it kind of appropagated -- the myth he wasn't entirely normal. did you feel you lost the little brother you once had? that he came something else? how did you feel as his brother? >> michael was -- he was very, very much normal. how could someone write the songs he wrote, "man in the mirror," "heal the world," not be about the most important things in life about this world and making this place a better place to live for one another. these are the most important things. these are the things that we don't look at the same time. he is a human being. those final nights of "this

is it," i wish people would have looked at the human person and not the superstar and say we have to get him out. we need -- something is wrong. [ dad ] i love this new soup. it's his two favorite things in one... burgers and soup. did you hear him honey? burgers and soup. love you. they're cute. [ male announcer ] progresso. you gotta taste this soup.

♪ your father was a tough man. >> my father was tough but you love because you care to discipline the child and to show them the right path.

>> interesting aspect from the book, racism your father endured when he was young and how that may have been a very motivating driving factor to the way he became. he was determined to combat that and fame for his family as well. >> we didn't want color to hold us back. we were taught we knew there was racism but we weren't going to use that as a card but we knew it existed and that at the same time we wanted to go beyond color. we wanted to have a music that transcends color. so we made that but -- would knew that existed but we didn't want it to stop us. that's why we loved the peacock because of the different colors coming together. >> what's the -- what's the truth about michael's skin color change over the years? >> michael -- >> was any part of that a

reaction to the stuff that was going on when he was young with this race, violence, threats? was any part of him wishing he wasn't so black? >> no, not at all. michael was -- happy with -- michael suffered a disease called vitiligo, pigmentation of the skin. one morning he slipped and fell and went to the hospital. came over and my mother and father was there. he was very upset because he said he's the most misunderstood person in the world. pulled off his shirt. patches of his brown skin. that's why he wore the umbrella because the sun would make it worse. that was a state of lupus he had, too. and one of these things. >> this stuff again that people used to get to michael, to make out he's slightly crazy.

you as a family member close to his big brother saw it wasn't that at all. >> but see, this book is so important because all of the questions that people had in their mind i tried to answer these questions. by giving the facts. and i defy anybody that reads the book and not tell up to his death that something doesn't smell. something smells. and those are the questions as a family member that's in my mind and my mother's and father's. waiting for this trial. what is it going to do for us? we don't know. we really don't know. >> take another break. when we come back we will talk to you more about michael. how difficult he found it when "thriller" became the biggest seller in history. ♪ ooh baby, looks like you need a little help there ♪ ♪ ooh baby, (what) can i do for you today? ♪

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aspercreme breaks the grip, with maximum-strength medicine and no embarrassing odor. break the grip of pain with aspercreme. when michael became the biggest star in the world after "thriller," did that change him, do you think?

you were his big brother. how did you see that impact on him as a human being? >> well, i do know that he wanted that. he wanted to sell the most albums ever and he wrote it on his mirror in his bathroom. he would look at it and see it and live it and believe it. that's what we were taught when we were young. he could visualize it and he wrote that on house mirror. also to sell out stadiums. >> strange thing about him, was he got ever more successful and richer, house self-esteem levels seemed to deteriorate. more plastic surgery in his eyes to improve his look. when i talked to janet she talked of self-esteem issues and latoya, too. michael, i think, clearly had it. otherwise why would he keep trying to change the way he looked? >> i think he -- he wanted to change it because he wanted to improve things.

i mean, it is like if you have a zit on your face, you want to pop it. if you see something on your face with your ear as to big, nose is too flat or your chin is too long, you want to prove it. i wouldn't say it comes from self-esteem, but there are surgeons out there, especially in hollywood and for people in hollywood to talk about this, i mean, most of hollywood has been under the knife. and his whole thing was he wanted to correct things and to make things look better. but i wish that he would have looked at the beauty of himself. >> he was a good-looking guy to start with. >> he was a natural beauty within and out. >> i don't want to hammer this point, but doesn't that tell you he must have had -- it wasn't just about wanting to look better. it's more to do with not being happy with how he looked? >> not so much not being happy but just wanted to make things better. >> it was like making a record

for him. was he just a perfectionest? i think in his mind he had something that he was going after but with these things, once you start, you get caught up into it and then you want to do a little here and there. but he was still the michael that we knew, the eyes, the heart, the feeling, the emotions and how he felt for people. that would never change. >> you clearly feel, jermaine, that your brother's going to get trashed in this court case. >> well, look what they did in the child molestation case. they pained him out to be the most horrible person, and saying the most horrible things. i'm sitting there and just imagine you being michael and you're sitting there and all your life you want to do nothing but good and hearing things you've done and people you trusted to come into your home is now sitting on the stand lying and saying the most hurting things. it's hard. it's been tough for him.

>> i remember all that. and it just always struck me that i didn't know enough about the reality of the truth, certainly not in the position that you were. it just seemed to me that michael, he did stuff that was to the public, inappropriate. especially as he got older. did you ever think as his big brother of warning him, it may not be a good idea to have sleepovers with young boys because people won't get it, they won't understand what you're doing? >> see, but i'm the same way because what's wrong with sleepovers with kids? it's only the demented mind that thinks something different. it's like michael said it best. why do you -- why do you need the bed to have sex? we can have sex standing up, we can have sex in the car, outside, on the ground. and during those times when he was sharing his bed, he was on the floor, but at the same time, these are people's minds who were demented like they were saying neverland was used to

bring in kids to molest them. when you go to neverland, there were wheelchair ramps going up the rides. he was concerned to bringing the joy to kids who were terminally ill, dying of all types of diseases. this is a man who lived his life according to god's will and cared about people. it's so sad because this world didn't look at that till after he was dead. and he was trying to say this all along while he was alive. >> when you watch the martin bashir interview, the infamous interview, clearly michael did that to try and set the record straight and if anything, made it ten times worse. when you watched that, what did you feel about that interview? >> well, first of all, martin bashir needed to be slapped and he never should have been around michael. there again, michael trusted. and see, why does -- there's a question for us, why does people in the media want to say the most horrible things about someone knowing that they have all the right intentions to do

good? >> i guess the answer, if i'm putting my media hat back on because i worked in newspapers at the time of all that is that it's not normal, i use that word in just in a straightforward way, for a guy of say, 44, to be sharing a bed with a boy of 12. that is not what most men of 44 do. so when the public hear about this. >> how do you know that? >> i just guess. i don't know. >> but you can't just guess because see, that happens all over the world. and people don't think of that as -- >> do you believe that? >> yes, yes. >> you think so? >> absolutely. absolutely. >> i don't think it does. >> yes, it does. >> i'm not casting any aspersion on michael. i don't think it does happen all over the world. was michael too innocent for this modern world do you think? >> absolutely. >> do you really believe that, that he was just from a different era? >> he was from the era that we were from. i wish that we were around him

more to tell him, michael, get this person away from you because they have a hidden agenda. whether it was the -- all the people who accused him of the of child molestation but at the same time, he saw the good in people, the good. >> when we come back, the trial and why jermaine doesn't want michael's children there. >> i don't think they should be there. i think they should stay away from the tv because they're going to say the most horrible things.

♪ >> this is a celebration of his life. of his legacy. >> he was caring and funny. honest. pure. and he was a lover of life. ♪ right here from the start >> daddy has been the best father you could ever imagine. >> how are his three children? >> very, very well. we made sure that they were in a school and we're constantly monitoring their whereabouts and their inner actions with kids at school because today, there are drugs in schools and private schools and public schools, everything. but see, it's hard to sort of shelter them and keep them from away from it. they have to grow up and be human beings. >> do they use the internet and stuff like that? >> they do, but we don't like it. we don't like it.

>> there's so much stuff about their father. it must be difficult. >> it's very hard. we want them to stay off the internet. and that's very, very, very tough. that's got to be monitored more. >> do any of them show any signs of wanting to follow in michael's footsteps as entertainers? >> they're very much into film. they know about directors, producers, movies. and they have interests to be in front and behind the camera. >> who do you think has the most chance of being a successful actor or actress? >> paris is a star, and prince is -- i think prince is into film now, too. they're all going to acting school. >> here's the thing. you have the choice now because you're one of the elder family members here who can control the way these kids' lives go. given everything that happened to michael and to you and to your brothers and sisters and your family, does any part of you want to stop that train right now for those kids and

say, got to be a bank area, got to be a doctor, go do something completely different. do not go down this path because there are so many pitfalls, or does the good that you've enjoyed from all this outweigh the bad? >> the good definitely outweighs the bad but what the advice that i would give, no matter how great the success is, family comes first. when you got your family, the vultures, the crooks, they can't penetrate that circle because there's strength in numbers. when the family is close, no one can get in between that. michael had gotten away from the family. >> how will you handle the trial with regard to the kids? are they going to go to the court? are they going to be able to watch any television coverage? it's going to be wall to wall. it's going to be a huge news story for several months. >> that's my mother's call.

i don't think they should be there. i think they should stay away from the tv because they're going to say the most horrible things. they're going to try to and they don't feed to hear that because they know who their father was and we know who our brother was. and that's a defense approach >> michael not here to protect himself now. when this trial starts, if you feel that he's getting unfairly trashed in there, how are you going to deal with that? >> michael's done so much good and so many good deeds, that he's well protected. we know where he is. it hurts every day. it hurts my mother, hurts my brothers, my sisters. it hurts his fans. but the life that he lived on this earth, it was a good life but it was also a bad life because they were after him. they were after him because they didn't believe the good. the good in him. >> it's going to be a tough time