tv CNN On The Frontlines CNN December 24, 2011 1:00am-2:00am EST
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>> i just know you like irishmen. i happen to be irish. >> i dated one irishman. my gosh. >> charlize theron, probably be delighted. >> oh. >> it has been a pleasure to meet you. >> really nice to meet u. >> thank you so much. >> thank you very much. thank you. welcome to our special for cnn on the front lines where any reporter wants to be where it's happening when it is happening. it's been a busy year for us and the world. a year that mattered to millions. people who felt the earth torn apart and saw their world washed away, their faith in science rocked by a nuclear catastrophe. they watched friends and neighbors die in streets and tasted freedom. so i used my citi thank you card to pick up some accessories. you'll experience all of that through the eyes and minds of my a new belt. colleagues and friends, where it some nylons. and what girl wouldn't need new shoes? happened right from the start. we talked about getting a diamond.
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but with all the thank you points i've been earning... ♪ january 2011, the rumblings of ...i flew us to the rock i really had in mind. an uprising in cairo. ♪ crowds begin to gather in tahrir [ male announcer ] the citi thank you card. square. earn points you can use for travel on any airline, with no blackout dates. a revolution has begun. what is your message to president mubarak? >> he should leave tonight. >> mubarak has been the leader for years. firsthand the birth of something they want him out. that i thought i would never see in the middle east. protesters demanding mubarak digs in and the once peaceful protest grows violent. accountability from their leaders. i never thought, in the years i spent covering in the middle >> this is an unmistakable east and the time i spent going back and forth to the middle military force. east, my family is from syria. fighter jets flying low over i never thought i would see a tahrir square, liberation dictator taken down by the power square, a symbol of defiance. of street protests. in egypt, it's freer. >> what you are hearing them say the press can travel to cairo is -- go, go. and report. i have come to love that country
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and the people in egypt, i truly >> flying in the air. have over the several years i spent reporting there. the demonstrators say that's the army firing to warn them to stay so, it's almost, i almost -- away. it's almost like wishing family >> promubarak forces target the protesters. well when you know a country journalists come under attack. intimately in a way i have grown to know egypt. >> i spent time there, our >> it's completely surreal fellow colleagues had a chance experience. okay. okay. to see the chapter. i'm not -- okay, i'm being told to walk. back with hala, ivan, nic, arwa and ben. don't say -- okay. you live in cairo, your family was there. the same time this was all happening, you are concerned >> we have been hit now like ten times. about your family and their the egyptian soldiers are doing well-being. nothing. >> i was completely split, ripped in two. >> we would like to be showing on one hand, i wanted to cover you instead of this picture, the resolution. this strange picture of us my neighborhood was an armed camp. my neighbors put barricades on the roads. sitting on the floor, we would like to be showing you live they pulled out weapons i didn't pictures of what's happening in know they had. liberation square. shotguns, machine guns, samurai we can't do that. swords. the cameras have been taken down my 17-year-old son was out with
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through threats, intimidation, through actual, physical attacks. a baseball bat and our german shepherd. 18 days of clashes and with we live in a nice neighborhood mubarak stepping down from power. surrounded by slums. just one country away, another >> we snuck from the hotel to revolution begins in benghazi. the bureau for a better satellite feed. >> we are the first television moments before we went on the crew to get to this city. we were overwhelmed by the air, security saw people coming from the back alley. welcome here. people were throwing candy the bureau is open. anybody can get into the building. inside the car, clapping, that's when we decided to turn shaking our hands, telling us off all the lights, get down on you're welcome, thank you for the floor. coming here. incredible experience. the security guy suddenly jammed the couch in front of the door. >> the uprising against gadhafi that's our high-tech security? turns into a seven-month war. jammed the couch in front of the door. we went ahead with the broadcast they try to force-feed on the floor. journalists total gadhafi that, for me, was one of the control. most intense moments. >> surreal. this is really what the libyan >> absolutely surreal. government wants to get out, this message that in the capital did you ever expect to be seeing the things you are now seeing? of tripoli, support for gadhafi >> never. >> never. >> absolutely not. is strong. not across all of africa. support for the government is i think this is only the
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strong. beginning. >> they try to protect libyans. we are looking forward to next year. the revolutions happened. we know what happens after >> this is proving to be a revolutions, convulsions and tougher battle than anyone contortions. anticipated. syria is an event, in a way that should the pro gadhafi elements we are waiting to happen. push in here, the concern is this could turn into a bloodbath. >> syria is going to have a huge -- >> to be watching the middle east completely and utterly >> we are leaving this area. change, who would imagine that there's gunfire all around us. sitting here. >> recently came out with a report, they believe there's a we believe that gadhafi's forces civil war there. you were there. i want to show you what arwa had to say about her experience there. are doing a -- a round about >> i was hiding in the back of a movement, so we are rushing out white van with two activists who of this area. were terrified. >> guys? i never met them my entire life. they took me through the >> we are going as fast as we damascus suburbs to link up with can. a doctor, part of a network of >> as the fight draws closer to doctors trying to save wounded tripoli, they trap journalists inside the rixos hotel. demonstrators' lives. they were taking an incredible risk because they wanted us to
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>> security has been so see some of their patients. prevalent around this hotel has people with gunshot wounds who all of a sudden decided to wouldn't go to the hospital. a young boy, a teenager, the leave, essentially the doctor didn't have the medical government with assault rifles, they have departed the hotel. equipment to understand the scope of his injuries. it's pretty empty in the lobby they said the little boy was partially paralyzed from the apart from a few security staff waist down. he said it was terrible for people to die in his hands or rather a few hotel staff. because he couldn't save them. it makes it a very, kind of uncertain time. >> they have been saying ambassadors are here, >> tripoli begins to fall and the journalists are free. journalists are tree to travel. what was your experience? opposition fighters storm >> you are free to travel as gadhafi's compound. long as you take a government >> these are cars that belong to the gadhafi regime. that is obviously a -- close minder with you. security -- he's there to help you out. [ gunfire ] >> there's an element they might >> i'm going to try not to get want to do you harm. hit by any of those rounds. >> gadhafi is later found and we are not keeping you from killed. traveling around the country in 2011, the world also watches
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a natural disaster unfold on because we want to hide things live tv. from you. the most powerful earthquake to we are keeping you from that because we want to protect you. hit japan causes a massive tsunami. >> it was better to be there with those restrictions than not widespread destruction. to be there at all. this is probably ten feet up off we were able, in the end, to get the stories, get away from our minders. where the actual ground is. >> the street whispers to you and talks to you. there's so much debris piled on. there's actually an entire van under me. >> what do you mean the street whispers to you? >> people slide paper in your more than 15,000 people are hands. killed. >> when the earthquake happened, >> in this age of twitter and students at the elementary evacuated out of the school. facebook, the most old-fashioned they had no idea a tsunami was way of communicated is how i got coming. the best contact in syria, i am out of 108 students at the in contact with a man with a school that day, 77 are either dead or missing. fake e-mail account. that's 70% of the children at he said they are lying to you, the school. e-mail me. >> the quake causes a nuclear emergency after floodwaters damage the nuclear reactors. it was amazing how they get the radiation leak forces the around the controls. >> when you think about the risk evacuation of 200,000 people. they are taking, i mean they only the animals are left could die so easily or be behind. journalists retreat to tokyo. tortured. things we can't imagine.
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>> it has an alarm. we hear the stories coming out if you suddenly find yourself in of syria, they are terrifying. an area where there's too much they are taking this risk all radiation, it will alarm. the time. >> the country continues to rebuild. we are surrounded by government another story where journalists minders and they are saying they watched history as it happened. are lying. the different seismic events, >> do you get used to seeing the bravery and seeing people killed some begin when the earthquakes on the streets for speaking out? others when people won't move. >> no. most amazingly, early on in never. >> the bravery we have seen, it egypt, the largest population in the arab world. makes you want to weep to see them that come out, they are at we asked reporters to tell us a funeral of their friend who was killed, then the security what they remember most about forces start shooting at the covering the stories. funeral procession and they still keep chanting, you know, democracy or down with the >> 2011 has been a year of unrelenting news. regime when fired on that way. >> now, on my show, i talk to here in cairo, the biggest news people in syria on the phone who insist on using their real name. came on the 25th of january when they are no longer afraid. we were told there would be another demonstration between they want the government to know hosni mubarak. it was relatively small. they are not afraid. >> that's the biggest unifying we headed back to the office. factor. people saying we lost our fear. i started to write a script it started there and rolled
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across. about that demonstration, then i when people say they lost their fear, that's when government got a phone call there was tear should worry. gas being fired in tahrir square. we jumped in a taxi, started to >> much more ahead with our correspondents. go there. we went over or rather under libya 2011 brought incredible what is known as the six october change there. bridge. forces took on moammar gadhafi. by chance, i look behind me and david and goliath story, if ever i saw thousands and thousands of there was one. students coming down the bridge matthew became a prison. shouting down, down with the regime and heading to tahrir >> we have been living in fear square. for five days. when i saw that, i realized, this regime is going down. we are being held against our will. >> what was it about what was the disaster that left happening on that bridge that 15,000 dead in japan. a monster tsunami. made you realize, this is really it. >> it was the sheer number of people. capital one's new cash rewards card i have seen demonstrations against mubarak and others. it was a handful, maybe 100 or 200. we are taking thousands and thousands of people.
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what became apparent that day, gives you a 50% annual bonus! so you earn 50% more cash. the regime was outnumbered by the people. according to research, everybody likes more cash. that realization spread so quickly, three days later, the well, almost everybody... regime gave up and handed over the country to the army. ♪ >> people died on the bridge. would you like 50% more cash? no! you push beat up, weren't you? but it's more money. >> that was on the 28th. [ male announcer ] the new capital one cash rewards card. in cairo, you get shoved around the card for people who want 50% more cash. quite a lot. >> which day? what's in your wallet? >> yeah. woah! [ giggles ] yeah, on the 28th, we were filming and this was clearly the helps defends against occasional constipation, diarrhea, day when it was all going to come down and sort of with gas and bloating. finality. with three strains of good bacteria to help balance your colon. we were with tommy evans and you had me at "probiotic." mary rogers. [ female announcer ] phillips' colon health. we were surrounded by plain-clothed policemen and hired thugs. they looked like they were under the influence of narcotics. they were insisting on taking away the camera. i said no. we had great footage of incredible scenes and what
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ensued was a very long pushing and shoving event. they cracked the camera, the viewfinder right off and took it away. i went back to argue with the superior officer -- >> you are fluent in arabic? >> yes. i was using words that i wouldn't in polite company. i argued with the guy for quite some time. we lost the camera and footage. got roughed up, but it got me going. i was angry. >> i remember that. i got there days later. for all of us, for me that was the most remarkable reporting experience to witness it, to be there. what about for you guys? i mean, you, ivan, were trapped in tahrir square in a rundown hotel during the worst of the violence. we were worried about you. we were on the other side. >> that was the famous day of
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the battle of the camel where we all saw scenes we thought we would never see before. the rock fight breaks out. you got attacked that day. we were getting pushed and shoved around. we were caught in the middle of this horrendous rock fight between two sides and basically ran, did a commando run. our hotel, the door was chained shut. we managed to squeeze in, got to the roof and suddenly these camels started charging into the square and beating up the demonstrators and the riders were ripped off. the unrest sweeping egypt we were stuck in that hotel in reached libya. tahrir square as it was demonstrators took the streets in benghazi. encircled by the thugs and we didn't know if we would get out that night. the army met them with force. >> they come into the hotel. a blood bath began and wouldn't there was nothing to stop them. end for eight more months. >> we didn't think they could they make a major advance hold out against the regime and throughout the country with the they did, for days. help of nato. they won in the end. we were one of the first reporters there.
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>> what i find fascinating, this >> we are going into tripoli at battle of the camels was seen the end of february. from so many perspectives. we had no idea what to expect. you were up top. i was there when the camels came some journalists pulled out. in. i was trying to badly take some were beaten up driving from blackberry pictures. the airport to the hotel. it just -- it just symbolized an amazing thing happened on the the historical nature of what first day there. was happening. all of a sudden, this epic, the government drivers and minders took us where the rebels bizarre camel charge in tahrir has control of the city. square. amazingly, the government drivers dropped us off and let >> when many egyptians realized us go where we wanted. the regime was bankrupt, had no we walked to where we saw a idea how to deal with it other crowd of people around a tank. than to pay a bunch of camel drivers to put down the revolt. >> when you resort to the camel as i climbed on the tank, i realized they were rebels, the drivers, it's over at that point. government minders delivered us it was interesting because of to the rebels. technology and because of the resources, frankly, of cnn, you i thought there's going to be a are able to be in the midst of gun battle. stories in a way and broadcast that wasn't the case. live during them in a way we the government made a mistake. have never been able to do right after that, they changed. before. the security kind of took over we saw that whether you in from the government officials tahrir square live. running the press site.
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i remember being in the balcony within days, when we left the with you in the area where the thugs were. hotel without minders, we were rounded up, sometimes at gunpoint, and taken back to the we didn't know if it was the hotel. the first few days, we had a tiny bit of freedom until the laser sight or what? government clamped down on us. >> we were surrounded. you could not leave without getting beaten up. we nicknamed it the beat journalist. >> nic, what was it like in so many were getting smacked tripoli? >> it was the time we had almost around. so many pro-mubarak and hating all the freedom. intelligence got ahold of the idea we were renegades. we were heading to parts of the city we didn't want to. us. then they clamped down on us. >> what's happening in egypt >> then you were the first now, we'll look at what happens after a dictator falls, western journalist to enter struggles with the military and now elections. through the east in opposition held territory making your way >> this year, tahrir square has been the scene of incredible to benghazi. drama. i will never forget the video is like the allies entering in paris in world war two. the sensational images of the famous battle of the camel, >> you know, our first 48 hours people fighting each other with clubs and sticks, making weapons in libya was really
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nerve-racking. and shields out of the most basic tools. everybody would meet and speak to was full of this energy that but it has also become a symbol, had been pent up, frustration, anger. tahrir square behind me, of a it was coming out. they were happy to see you, but struggle for freedom, a struggle for dignity in the arab world. january and february as egyptians gathered and said no they were so excited that to the dictatorial regime of mubarak. finally, they were free. you couldn't have a normal nine, ten months later as they conversation. gather again and said no to the people were shouting. ruling military council here. i thought oh my god, if i stay tahrir square has become a here much longer, i'll die of a symbol of this struggle in the heart attack. it was thrilling in a different arab world. way from egypt. >> during the final fall of i predict we'll see more drama tripoli, matthew and sara, as egyptians continue to see everybody is riveted to both of this square as a sign and symbol you. matthew, you were trapped in the of their struggle for freedom. rixos hotel. i was able to witness >> pivotal moment was the situation i got myself into or ♪ found myself in in the rixos hotel in tripoli. we weren't permitted to go outside except under very ♪ controlled circumstances.
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[ male announcer ] everyone deserves the gift of a pain free holiday. ♪ this season, discover aleve. all day pain relief afterwards, it was amazing. with just two pills. i was personally very relieved as were the other journalists held inside the rixos. i went outside the hotel. within a few minutes i went to the live location of cnn in tripoli. i was surrounded by crowds of people in the center of tripoli. they were celebrating deliberation of their country and firing guns in the air and giving me flowers. amazing electricity. they were on the verge of a new era in their country and finally free. i felt that as well. i was also free after a period of being incarcerated. it was an amazing moment. >> it's rare, often reporters end up talking about things that have already happened. reporting on thing that is
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occurred. you are trying to make the story in the past. that was a story that was unfolding and you were trapped in the middle of it. what was that like? >> highly unusual of being in the story yourself. it's remarkable. you find a small transformation that took place in the hotel where everybody was hard lines and pro-gadhafi. they were so loyal to him. over the period of the days as they went by, rebellion and rebels gained ground. this transition took hold. the gunmen inside the hotel started to realize that the world outside the gates of the hotel, their country changed beyond recognition. when they finally made that realization, you know, the whole thing fell apart. they basically abandoned their post. some got killed outside. >> what was that like negotiating with gunmen? it's an experience everybody has had. until you have had it, it's hard to describe.
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what was it like? >> the negotiations were carried out with the producer with us. she speaks arabic. they were the end result of days upon days, hours upon hours of just everybody together thinking how we were going to get out of this. that was the big concern. this was going to be the last stand of gadhafi's loyalists in the hotel where we were stuck. we were going to get stuck in that. that was worst case scenario. we were assessing our risk. citing what the next step would be and it's presented in the form of a negotiation to the guards. we had no idea, right up until the last minute or two, five minutes, maybe, that this was going to produce results and they finally capitulate and understood that you are holding us captive was a dead-end game for them. when that happened, there was a huge emotional release. they cried, gave us their
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weapons. we took some of them with us in the evacuation because if we left them there, we would have been killed. a lot more about libya ahead. ending 2011 without the man who terrorized them for decades. also ahead, disaster that claimed more than 15,000 lives. raised new questions about the power plants in an earthquake zone. [ male announcer ] tom's discovering that living healthy can be fun.
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we made it to a neighborhood that was right next to the compound, gadhafi's stronghold. and there was, you know, dozens and dozens of men holding their guns, celebrating, saying, you know, it's close. it's about to be over. we are going to take this compound and we are going to kick, you know, the gadhafi regime out of tripoli and we are going to crush the regime that has been so crushing to us and our families for more than 40 years. it was exhilarating. it was one of those days where you are like wow, this is history being made right here and standing right here, august 23rd. tripoli is falling around me. >> sara sidner on the fall of the city. it exploded in 2011. people compared it to a fever or a wave, a set of giant dominos.
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it's rippling. sara and the rest of the panel are back. all have seen history made and rewritten this year. being there, i mean, was that the most intense experience that you had found yourself in? you were reporting live throughout it all. >> it was. the second most was the mumbai attacks outside the taj hotel. there was a barrier, so to speak. there wasn't a barrier here. you were trying to decide minute by minute whether or not you and your crew were safe. whatever that meant in this scenario and as people started going into this compound, we couldn't see it. we were just next door. we could hear. the moment we saw them open up some of the files and the names on the files, the children of gadhafi, we were like where could they have gotten those? from inside, from inside. we're swimming in the pools. we're swimming in the pools.
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that was a fascination. everyone was happy to be swimming in the pools. it was a scenario where we went forward. finally, we got to the walls, the outside of the compound. they were littered with holes. it looked like armageddon for a second. then, the guys were there, standing outside. we said, you know, who, who, who? we said cnn. oh, they just let us walk right in. everyone was rushing in and then rushing out. i kept thinking what the hell is going on? what is going on? are people being shot at inside the compound still or are they excite? people were bringing out guns. telling us the tea is still hot. there are still people in there fighting.
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there are uniforms. you could see shoes, all sorts of things. people got up and got the hell out of there. >> it is a great moment when you are able to say cnn and they say oh, yes, okay. it's nice. >> it doesn't happen very much. >> sometimes the door is closed. >> that's true nic, you were in the hotel when she came in screaming she was raped by gadhafi's forces. >> the government officials, the minders escorting us to the different places around tripoli suddenly were pulling guns and literally took our camera and intentionally broke it in pieces and threw it on the floor. >> one of the waitresses -- >> threw a bag or sheet over her head and the government thugs took her away. the journalists were trying to stop them from taking her away. >> where are you going with her? >> it was the brutality that the
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regime said wasn't happening, unfolding in front of our eyes by the guys pretending to be somebody else. >> for you, what is a good day in the field? what makes you say you know what, this is a good day. we are doing exactly what we are supposed to be doing? >> when you have a fundamental purpose and you are feeling emotion. i don't think despite the fact we have been covering it we actually understand what it means for the people going through this. what it means for the libyans who have gone through so much not to have that anymore. they go through things we can't imagine. it's our worst nightmares and they are living it. >> we are a window for our audience. as big as we can open that window and show them what's happening, it's a great feeling when you open that window and
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know you can show some of that story to the world. what's an amazing feeling is when you feel on this huge story, the world actually cares and it's looking in through that window. then you feel like you have done your job. >> sometimes you feel like you are talking into a wind tunnel, telling the stories and it doesn't have any impact. >> when the world cares and you know the world cares and they are watching. those are the moments that get me the most. you know, i think they were slowed down this year. when you reflect on it now, looking at the pictures, reminding us, we were talking about it. it's powerful to watch it. >> humbleness. >> a lot of people don't realize, we don't see a lot of the reports. when you are overseas and filing this stuff and you have to go to another demonstration, you don't see a lot of this stuff. it was interesting to watch you all watch these pieces. >> we were so much younger at
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the beginning. >> true. >> we are going to have much more ahead. the other big story of 2011. the tsunami of japan. 15,000 lives lost. for the survivors, there's still radiation concerns. we are going to share our insights on the disaster. ♪ ♪ [ male announcer ] everyone deserves the gift of a pain free holiday. ♪ this season, discover aleve. all day pain relief with just two pills. well, this necklace is awesome. honey, you're getting a necklace! see what i mean? i'll surprise you. please. [ male announcer ] the only place to go for last-minute christmas gifts. walmart.
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one pill a day, every day, can help reduce this pain. tell your doctor right away if your mood worsens, you have unusual changes in mood or behavior or thoughts of suicide. antidepressants can increase these in children, teens, and young adults. cymbalta is not approved for children under 18. people taking maois or thioridazine or with uncontrolled glaucoma should not take cymbalta. taking it with nsaid pain relievers, aspirin, or blood thinners may increase bleeding risk. severe liver problems, some fatal, were reported. signs include abdominal pain and yellowing of the skin or eyes. talk with your doctor about your medicines, including those for migraine, or if you have high fever, confusion and stiff muscles, to address a possible life-threatening condition. tell your doctor about alcohol use, liver disease, and before you reduce or stop taking cymbalta. dizziness or fainting may occur upon standing. side effects include nausea, dry mouth, and constipation. [ male announcer ] ask your doctor about cymbalta. imagine you, with less pain. cymbalta can help. go to cymbalta.com to learn about a free trial offer.
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we want to go to the tsunami in japan. no one can forget the 30-foot wave that destroyed the city in minutes. here is what caused the most fear. the fukushima daiichi power plant. officials put it on par with the 1996 chernobyl disaster. a 9.0 earthquake that hit the island. >> if there is one story that will always be memorable to me, it's covering the tsunami in japan. not those massive scenes of devastation. when i sat down with a young mother who was going over how many family members she lost and she started counting on her hand and she ran out and she had to keep counting. she lost seven immediate family members.
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among them, her 8-year-old son. that's when it really struck home to me that this story was not about all the structures that were lost, it was about the lives, the loved ones and the victims who would forever be impacted by it. >> more than 15,000 people were killed in the disaster. it was so extraordinary to be there. i had the pleasure of working with you a little bit. to be there not just for an earthquake and tsunami, but the radiation fear and disaster that was occurring. what worried you the most. what was the most difficult aspect of reporting this storm? >> you can't see it. unlike the conflicts we have seen around the world, you can't tell if the nuclear radiation is hitting your body, you don't know.
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so, that was the most alarming thing. we simply didn't know. >> you were 11 weeks pregnant at the time. >> i was pregnant at the time. my 2-year-old was at home with my husband. we had earthquake damage in our apartment. there were a lot of personal things going on. that was a big concern. how close can we get? how much should we push personal safety to get this story, this incredible story which we all want to cover? there was little information coming from the government. >> incorrect information. >> incorrect information. we now know they drug their feet and did not tell the international community all the information they had. >> everybody on this platform has covered natural disasters. what is the difference between, i mean emotionally covering a natural disaster and covering a war? is it different for you all? >> i found one earthquake in india, you are very much -- you become the scenes of devastation, you are trying to
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cover the story. you are so much involved in it. you don't have anywhere to sleep. you are not sure where we are going get electricity from and don't know where your food is going to come from. everything is collapsed. >> i don't think a lot of people, for us, the key when reporting is basically gasoline to run a generator to get electricity to broadcast. then finding a place to sleep, and something to drink. >> you're levelled with the community. you suffer. >> one of the big, you know, obstacles of being in a disaster, earthquake or tsunami, the infrastructure is so devastated, you are in the same boat as everybody else in the area. >> it's terrifying working with radiation disaster. there's no sense of where to go and there's not a lot of expertise to rely on. you find yourself making choices
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like, well, i think this place is okay, but we have no idea. it's the choices civilians are making every minute. >> the japanese are so calm. the biggest difference i see in listening to you talking, we went from a story that was so filled with emotion and picture to a story that was a 180 emotional opposite. the japanese are very quiet. >> the thing that impresses me about all of you, you meet some people in the field, correspondents who swagger around as if they have a hard-bitten newsman, they have seen it all and done it all and nothing affects them. i think they have no business being in the field. unless you are affected by it, unless you see it viewed as a human being, you don't do as effective of a job telling the story. i have seen each of you in the field really be moved and overwhelmed at times by the things you have witnessed. how do you deal with it?
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>> it's the worst is the feeling of helplessness, if you are watching a child dying or a family that lost their home, whatever. i mean, you can try to be empathetic, try to explain the story to the world, but there's little you can do. you can give them a bottle of water, a granola bar, people in the worst situations. ultimately -- >> you can feel their suffering, but can't take it away from them. >> how do you do it time and time again? >> i feel beaten up. this has been, i think for all of us, exhausting. >> we all look older than we did a year ago. i think everybody feels that way. >> do you feel you carry the people you have met with you? >> sometimes. i experienced on several occasions, i will sit on the plane when you can stop, you are
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not focusing on working and the next story and you are beginning to disconnect. the tears roll down by face and i can't stop it. i don't want to stop it. that's part of the release. when i go home, i walk in the front door, i have two girls and a lovely wife. i'm dad. i like running. that dissipates it. why do we go out again? ultimately, we believe it makes a difference. >> you have all had those moments? >> i have them after. if you have them during, you can't do your job, you start crumbling. it will come a few days later or a few weeks later. if i have seen a youtube video of someone shot in the head, dragged by their friend in syria or somewhere else, i sit there and think, in my mind, i think, god help that country. i hope these people are okay. >> i find it life affirming, i have to say. you see so many dead people, the fragility of life.
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the tsunami. 8,000 bodies on the beach when i arrived. i think it just makes you appreciate your life. that's how i deal with it. you know, i sort of kick back after a terrible story like that and think dear god, that could so easily have been me. it wasn't. i got my life still. >> there's a difference between conflict and the natural disasters. on an emotional level when there's a conflict, there's somebody you can be angry at. there's a guy with a gun hurting innocent people. there's some tyrannical figure like moammar gadhafi, you can blame him for all this. when it's a natural disaster, the finger of god that destroys a city, there's nobody you can blame and it's a strange -- once again, it's the feeling of helplessness and you can't
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comfort those people. >> i don't know what to say. how many people did i talk to who lost every single member of their family? i talked to so many parents who lost all their children. so, what do you say to them? the only thing we can do as journalists is tell their story. >> you know, coming back to the places later, or finding the people out of the conflict zone or the danger zone or they have started rebuilding and, you know, they are scarred. but they are intact and moving on with their life. >> at the time, it feels terrible. you see their resilience. >> come back a year or two later. >> not only are we the first ones there and the last to leave, we are the first to go back and return more often. i think that's credit to the organization. we have to take a quick break. we'll be right back. just one phillips' colon health probiotic cap a day
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